034: Mental health and miracle mornings

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Wayfair, every style, every home. Hi guys, how are you all? I hope that everyone is doing really, really well. It's been a bit of a mad couple of weeks, hasn't it? The last couple of episodes, we've had a couple of guests on the show, um, I'm all settling into being self-employed as well, so I'm trying to fit in my social life and everything else amongst also undergoing my life coaching and all that jazz. But you know when you can finally see that light at the end of the tunnel? Like, I feel like I'm almost at the top of me never-ending pile of work. Woohoo, finally! But yeah, I want to talk about a couple of things this episode, so I'm going to talk you through something that I get asked about pretty much all the time, like what my morning routine ritual looks like, how I set myself up for a successful day. And I'm gonna go into great detail about it as well, don't worry. I'm not gonna talk about like my pajamas or anything like that. But I thought, well, I get asked about this all the time, so I might as well share it with yous and let yous know what I do. And then people can stop asking. But yeah, anyway, I wanna share all that with you, but I also wanna share with you something that happened to me last week, just to break down the mental health stigma once again. So a couple of weeks ago, Johnny, my partner, he went home to Northern Ireland for a long weekend. I think it was like the Thursday to the Monday, and he does this maybe 3 or 4 times a year to see his dad and his granny and stuff like that. But initially, I was so looking forward to having some me time, you know, just being able to like have a bath in peace. Not that he's like climbing up the side of the bath or anything while I'm in the bath like a child, but you know what I mean. You just want to have like a bath in peace. I wanted to meditate. I was going to chill out with the dog, just go for some nice walks, cook myself some nice food, you know. Anyway, I'd been to the gym on the Saturday morning and I'd had like a really, really good workout. I was feeling pumped, I was raring to go for the weekend ahead. And I got home and I just had this wall of feeling flat almost like wash over me, and it hit us like a ton of bricks. Like, I poured myself a drink. I don't even usually drink in the house unless I'm going out, but the sun was out, I I sat in the back garden, I had me glass of blue raspberry vodka, it's my new tipple, and I just sat there in the back garden with a book and I was reading away and I put my happy playlist on on my headphones. I just couldn't like shake the negativity inside of me, so I came in, I cleaned around the house, I ran meself a bath, I played on me PlayStation, what else did I do? You know, just doing things to try and cheer us up, but nothing was cheering us up. So I rang my mum for a chat, and I found out that she'd been in hospital that week with really bad pains, and not one single person in my family had thought to like tell us. I felt a bit crap about that, so I spoke to a few of my friends to see if they wanted to do anything, but with it being last minute and with it being sunny, everyone was already like either out doing something or they had plans to that night. The weather was lush, like why wouldn't they have plans, do you know what I mean? It was just me that hadn't made plans because I thought I want to be on my own. That's what the universe delivered, I'm on my own. You know when you just feel really, really fucking alone? The more I thought about it, the more I went into overdrive. Like, I was just thinking, why do I only have 5 friends? Why are they all doing things and I'm not? And just like a slap to the face, I opened Facebook and someone I went to primary school with had uploaded a school photo from Year 1 of my primary school. I can't remember if I've ever even spoke about this before on my podcast, but basically that photo holds some really, really bad memories for me. I'll go into a bit of detail just in case I haven't talked about this, but me mam couldn't afford like proper school uniform at the time, so I was turning up to school like— and I turned up to school on that day, on photo day, in a burgundy bobble knit jumper. And it was the same color as the school uniform, but clearly not the official one. The other one was just like a do you know what I mean, with the school emblem on and stuff like that. But this was like a burgundy bobble knit jumper. I'm sure me nana knitted it for us. But I have a very, very vivid memory of the school headteacher coming up to me on photo day and saying, could your mom not afford the uniform? Like, can you imagine a headteacher saying that to a kid nowadays? They'd get absolutely hung up by bollocks, wouldn't they? Anyway, she tried to basically push me out of the year photo by standing in front of hers and using her arm to block my face. It's just horrible memories. I've just got really, really bad memories, and it's something that I've even brought up in me life coaching sessions with Jude as well, as something that cropped up when I was doing me money manifesting course as one of my very first memories around money. There were lots of other memories, like being thrown a plastic bag with a sandwich and an apple in it for our preschool dinners, almost being made to play like catch with our food like a performance seal. But anyway, when I opened Facebook, I saw I'd been tagged in this photo that afternoon. I literally looked up towards the sky and I shouted, are you fucking kidding me? It was like the universe has said, oh, you're down, you're sad about your life, here you go, here's something else to be sad and down about. Remember this? Bam! And then put that photo up. Like, why would I want to see that? Someone tagged us in it and it came up and I just started crying. So anyway, I grabbed JJ, me dog, I went out for a walk, I had me happy playlist blaring into me ears. Like, I don't even know how this happened, but I know that on Spotify, if a playlist finishes, it'll start playing songs that are recommended for you. Anyway, it suddenly started playing a song that reminded us of the day that me grandad died 3 years ago. Wey, that was it. I was walking along, there was tears rolling down me cheeks, you know when you get that lump in the back of your throat? I was just wondering how the hell did I get here, and what a change in my mood from earlier in that day at the gym. That morning I was high as a kite. I even took JJ to the gym with us because I didn't want him leaving in the house on his own while Johnny was away. I took him to the gym with us, everyone was making a fuss of him. It was just like really, really nice, like, to be out of the house and talking to people and having a laugh. And then from that to where I was there. Crying, walking along. So anyway, I spoke about this with Jude at my life coaching sessions, and when we started to unpick it— because she always says try and unpick it, try and get to where it all come from— it all stemmed from the night that me granddad died. So I was out celebrating us getting the keys to our new house and Amber winning Love Island, and me mam thought it would be best to not tell us that me granddad had been taken to hospital at 5 PM and he died on arrival. Like, he was— he died in the ambulance on the way. Every single person in my family was there except for me, and it's really hard for me to swallow that. So the moment of realization when it suddenly clicked that this was where that feeling of being excluded and neglected has come from, that was quite an eye-opener for me. So I did a bit of a forgiveness meditation that I found on the Insight Timer app and I honestly think it's helped me to get to the bottom of why I felt like that. But I guess what I wanted to highlight is that the fact that people's moods can change at the drop of a hat, and just because someone looks alright on the outside and they're all smiling and happy, it doesn't mean to say that they're not necessarily dealing with something from years ago in the back of their minds. So I just wanted to raise that just to say, be kind to everyone you see and come into contact with. And that, that are around you, basically, because they could be fighting a never-ending battle inside that you have no idea about. And obviously I've spoke about this on the show before, but there's such a big link between poor mental health and not being able to manifest as well. So when we're stuck in that rut and that negative cycle of bad negative energy, we're unable to manifest anything. We're not in the right headspace, we're not in the right vibrational alignment. How can you possibly manifest something when we feel like that? And if you do feel like that and you have no one to talk to, honestly, feel free to message me. Like, since Johnny got home after that weekend and I spoke about it all to him, I mean, I felt like such a weight had been lifted from my shoulders. Like, it's always best to try and unpick why you feel that way and try and get into some shadow work side of things. Like, what's made you feel that emotion? What really pulled? Why did you react that way? Do you know what I mean? But yeah, anyway, I just wanted to share that with you just to kind of prove that, you know, hey, I'm human just like everyone else listening, and we all go through things like this from time to time. We just have to help each other through. You see so much stigma online about ill mental health and people struggling and people being anxious and depressed and how anxiety and depression are just thrown around like a roll off the tongue at the minute, and you know what I mean. But yeah, just have some compassion for other people, please. And yeah, be kind to one another. Anyway, on with the episode. I want to discuss Miracle Mornings. This is what I call Miracle Mornings. I know there's a book called Miracle Morning I'm looking at right now by Hal Elrod. It's still on my bedside cabinet, still haven't fucking read it. Anyway, this Miracle Mornings whole thing, right? So this is something I get messages on quite frequently. People are nauseous Like I say, I'm going to share pretty much everything apart from what I wear in bed. Um, but everyone seems to want to know what my morning ritual, my morning routine, whatever you want to call it, they want to know what it consists of and how they can have a benefit or a disadvantage to the rest of my day. Okay, so here we are. So think about you, for example. Are you an early riser, or does pulling an all-nighter sound more like your thing? Well, we're all different when it comes to that, you know that. So I usually get up about 7 AM, whereas Johnny is so different every day of the week. Like, if he's going to the gym that morning, he's usually up and away by 6 o'clock, whereas if he's having a day off, he won't even, even like get out of bed until about 8:30. We're all known to function differently at different times of the day, and I'm not saying that what I do is right. I'm just going to give you all a bit of information on what I actually do. So like I say, we all rise at different times. It doesn't really matter, but one thing is for certain: your morning routine matters, okay? It sets the tone for the rest of the day. It plays such a vital role in the way that things pan out. I can't even begin to describe. Like, if you started journaling, for example, and you had a fucking amazing day, if you look back, I bet any money it was one of the days that you got up and you felt so energized to get on with things. And it wasn't the day that you stubbed your toe. Do you know what I mean? But anyway, for the longest time, it's been thought that waking up early, or more precisely, like at the crack of dawn, was a surefire way of getting richer and more successful. The logic just being that you wake up early, you get more time for yourself, you end up becoming more productive, and it all goes a great way in solving time management issues. But what needs to be factored in is that just by waking up early won't promise to do much for you. What really helps is that taking action and making the most of that time, being productive in that time. And what really helps in the long haul is sticking to a routine that works in your favor. Like I say, every single person is different. You want to find a routine that works for you and your family. A great start to the morning obviously leads to better efficiency It leads to an instant boost in your mood, and it'll enhance your cognitive ability. So the trick is to plan your day in accordance to what your goals actually are. So for me, more times than not, I consciously choose positivity. So when I wake up, I wake up with a smile. And I know that sounds stupid, and I must look like an absolute psychopath when Johnny opens his eyes and the first thing he sees is me glaring up at him like, Good morning, sunshine! Before I've even got out of bed. But before I do get out of bed, I make myself smile. And I do this really like Cheshire Cat smile, like a really wide and really over-exaggerated smile. You've got to treat your morning as a friend or a family member. The first smile of the morning can change everything, and it brings instant positivity to you. And positivity begins with you, not with your partner, not with your house, not with how much you've got in the bank. Happiness is a state of mind and most importantly, an outcome of choosing to see the positives in your life. And we know this, we talk about it every bloody week on here. You are a creator of your reality and you manifest what you give your focus to. So just make it a conscious choice to start your day off on a positive note. Most people that live their best lives would probably tell you that they begin like their day with gratitude. I've spoke about this before, it's no secret, but I keep a gratitude journal by my bedside. It also helps me on a daily basis, okay. I write down a few things that keep me going on a daily basis, and it's a great way to kickstart your day on a great note. So what I do after I've got up and I've smiled away at myself, I write in my journal. I usually sit upright and I meditate in my bed. Obviously, the benefits of meditation can't be stressed enough. I get started by sitting in silence, and I just start to express gratitude to the universe for a beautiful day ahead. So I'm preempting what's going to happen. Then I'm grateful for things that have happened, like I'm alive, I've actually woke up with a roof over me head, I'm grateful that I slept through the night unharmed. And I know all of this sounds very mad, And it might just seem like stuff that we all take for granted, but there's people on the street that don't get to sleep in a very nice bed. Like, they'll be slept on the floor. Do you know what I mean? Like, they don't have a roof over their heads. They live in fear of being attacked through the night. We are so privileged. If you're listening to this podcast now, I dare bet you've got a house over your head, you've got clothes, you sleep in a bed, yeah? We are so privileged. We need to get grateful and feel that gratitude inside of us. And I do that every single morning when I wake up. Then I go ahead and I visualize how I want to spend my energy that day. And this is really, really important. So I meditate on getting what I really want. So remember, your brain learns to process what you want the brain to process. For example, the brain isn't just biased to your wants and don't wants. It picks up frequencies, it picks up messages, and it takes literally what's being directed. And it's very, very literal. So if you're visualizing, I don't want X, Y, and Z, all it hears is X, Y, and Z. So if you say, oh my God, I hope it doesn't rain today, of course the universe is going to deliver. It's going to say, here you go, here's the rain, and it'll send you that. So instead, talk about what you do want. Try and train your mind to get what you want, and the best time to do this is first thing in the morning. Meditation is also well known to calm your nerves. It makes you a lot more focused. It keeps your mind in control. It's one of the best ways to get healthy both inside and out. So I would always recommend even just a couple of minutes, and I tend to set my timer for 3 to 5 minutes.

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Sometimes if I do close my eyes when I've just woke up, I fall back asleep. So that's why I tend to sit up. I have a big drink of water first just to try and get myself out of that sleepy mood. And that's why I set my timer for 3 to 5 minutes. Doesn't have to be a long period of time. Like I said, 3 to 5 minutes every single day sharp mounts up and you will see the difference. And that's something else I do every morning as well. So not only do I do all that, I drink. So it's all about hydration. I drink a glass of lukewarm water with my daily vitamins before having my morning tea. And doing this regularly is known to improve your immune system. So throughout me day, I like to make sure that I've drunk at least 2 liters, and this is the best way to kickstart that. Hydration isn't restricted to just water intake. Like, Johnny makes smoothies and healthy homemade shakes all the time, and these are a great source for hydration as well. Fruits are mainly made up of water. We as human beings are mainly made up of water. We need to replenish that water. We've sweated it all out through the night. You need to do something first thing in the morning and hydrate, okay? It's absolutely no surprise to any of us that eating fruits and a healthy, wholesome diet consisting of grains and veggies, that also plays a pivotal part in your overall well-being. So keeping hydrated also keeps your hunger pangs at bay. And when you think that you're hungry, sometimes you're just dehydrated. So start your day with lots of hydration. Have you ever woke up and like first thing in the morning, for example, and you're like, oh my God, my mouth is so dry, and like you feel groggy and you've got a headache and almost like you're hungover, but you're not, you just think that you're tired. That's mainly because you've sweated through the night and you've lost that hydration. It's mad. You can get migraines and headaches just from lack of salt and lack of water within your body. So just having a glass of water first thing in the morning really, really does kickstart your day. So then when I've managed to pull myself out of bed, I do a light, a bit of light exercise, and I mean very, very friggin' light, okay? So 15-20 minutes, And I know you might be thinking, bloody hell, Mart, I've just woke up and you're expecting me to do burpees? Not at all. When I say light, I mean light. Like, the power of working out cannot be stressed enough. It just gets your body going, okay? It's not just about having a fitter body. This is just to get your body going. Working out for that 15-20 minutes on the whole makes such a world of difference to your overall well-being. It gets the endorphins going. It gets your body like moving, do you know what I mean? Like, first thing in the morning, it's— your body is quite like seized up. It's been lay solid for 6, 7, 8 hours sometimes. It's not something that, that I used to do before the first lockdown. It's just something that I've incorporated to make me feel better about myself. So I literally go on to YouTube and I'll type in something like 15-minute soft yoga, and I mean like soft, light, but just choose a form of workout that works well for your schedule. Even if it's just something like aerobics, like the yoga that I do, it's maybe about 4 or 5 poses, but I just sit in those 4 or 5 poses for the 15 minutes. Like, it's nothing that I'm exerting myself, it's just getting us to move, it's doing some stretches, it just gets your body like liberated almost, if you want to put it that way. There are a lot more benefits to your mental state that'll come from this than just burning calories, and it's not about burning calories, like I say, It's not about getting your heart rate up. It's just about movement, okay? Get your body moving. Then once I've done this little 15-minute exercise, I devote the next 20 minutes to myself. Doesn't have to be 20 minutes. Like I say, 5 is enough, but just make it a point to enjoy your own company. The way that you treat and think of yourself plays such a key role in the kind of energy that you're attracting in your life. So just ask yourself, like, are you giving yourself enough time to rejuvenate and to reflect upon your choices? Are you happy with the way that things are currently? When was the last time that you indulged in this, like, me time? What's important to note is that if you're missing out on having a good time or you're listening to what your inner self is telling you, your chances are that you must be procrastinating a lot of things. And we all know that procrastination comes from frustration and it causes frustration. It's a never-ending cycle. So just do your thing for 20 minutes daily. It could be anything. It could be— it doesn't have to be, like, exercise. It could It could be journaling, it could be cleaning, it could be dancing, it could be writing or watching something constructive. I'm not saying use that 20 minutes to scroll Facebook or TikTok. That's a bit counterproductive and it's pretty much what I used to do because you feel like then you've wasted that 20 minutes. But dudes, like, 20 minutes a morning for you. Do something for you. 20 minutes of free time can make the world of a difference to the way that you look at things. It can change your life and it can change the way that people look at you as well. So all of that takes me about an hour on average, some days less, obviously, some days more. It depends on how long I meditate for, whether I rise groggy and I have to drink more water, or whether I have to work harder to get myself into a better state of mind, you know. And I know that a lot of you are probably screaming at me right now, like, saying, "I haven't got an hour to give!" And believe me, a couple of years ago, that was me as well. I would always say, "I don't have time," or I'd affirm to myself constantly that, you know, mornings are too hectic to do anything constructive. But I dare bet you, if you get up on a morning, you probably at the minute, you roll over, you spend at least 15 minutes on your phone scrolling. Tell me I'm wrong. And then I'll also go as far as saying, I bet you then mope around doing things that you could have planned before in advance, like, you know, like going through your wardrobe, deciding what you're going to wear for the day, then ironing it, then should you wash your hair today, should you blow dry it, uh, do you know what I mean? And it's like, that's what I do the night before. I plan tomorrow in advance. So what I'm kind of getting at is that the Miracle Morning starts the night before. You've got to plan in advance. It's time to set those boundaries. It's time to make mental markers on what drains and diverts your energy so that you're prepared for it. And this is crucial so that you ensure that you won't get distracted. And it also helps in training your mind to remember that you've got a lot of things to work on that day. The secret to a productive morning lies in planning your day in advance the night before. You need to stick to that routine. You know fine well that, say for example, let's take a diet. You know you can stick to that diet if someone came in and said, "Right, I'm gonna cook X, Y, and Z for you today." this is the meal you're going to have for lunch, this is the meal you're going to have for tea, here's your snacks. Chances 90% of you would stick to that diet. The reason that we fail at things like that is because we're not prepared. And we will go to the fridge and we'll think, oh, there's nothing cooked, can't be bothered, I'm just going to have this block of cheese instead. Ah, there's nothing cooked for dinner, I'm just going to have this packet of crisps because it's convenient. Okay, so we need to stick to a routine. We need to spend time to discover what works best for us and our families. You need to set your agenda the night before. Like, are you someone like me who has a to-do list? If not, it's time to begin to create one. Since it could get a little stressful to set aside considerable time to write out a plan of action for the day, the best way to get started is by planning to set your tasks beforehand. This is no biggie. Most of you might be like saying, well, I do this already, Martin. This is no like Miracle Morning, but you just need to make a list of what works best for you. This works different for every single person. I also read through my next day's list just to affirm every night before going to bed that I'll be able to tick off all the pointers on my to-do list for the next day. And I'll just like say like affirmations to myself in bed, like, tomorrow is going to be a good day, tomorrow we're going to make X, Y, and Z on sales, tomorrow I'm going to be really, really productive and going to be super happy. Do you know what I mean? And it just puts you in a better state of mind. And just slightly going back to touch on procrastination there, it's something that I've dealt with for years. So just from being unorganized and overthinking things, the reason could often be poor planning skills. But I know that experts suggest that people often find reasons for procrastination when they forget to structure their time effectively. And you just need to structure your day the night before and you're already on that winning streak. So just remember that. So these are my top tips basically for setting yourself up for success by having what I refer to as a Miracle Morning. Ta-da! Where are we with time? Oh my God, we're nearly at 25 minutes. Okay. So just also, what else did I need to mention this episode? I hope that was okay for everyone and Miracle Mornings. If you do have any other questions, feel free to message me. But just to fill you in and fill up the last few minutes of this episode. Oh yeah, I wanted to mention couple of weeks ago, just something that I did in my morning routine, I went for an open water swim in the sea. Oh my God, I don't know if any of you have done it before, but how liberating is that? Like, honestly, I mean, me penis shriveled to the size of a midget gem— sorry if anyone's listening that's offended— and I couldn't feel me fingers or me toes, but what an experience. Like It was on a Saturday morning, it was straight after the gym, I was sweaty as hell, had a really tough workout, and Adam, who owns the gym, asked if anyone had fancied going for a dip at the seaside. So obviously, by the way, I always say seaside, I barely ever say beach, and it's weird because some people are like, what's the seaside? It's the beach. Um, but I jumped at the chance because I've always wanted to go but I've never had anyone to go with. So you might have seen this on my Instagram story if you followers, but me and 7 other lads from the gym, we drove up to Blyth seaside, it's here in Newcastle, and we got our kits off and we ran into the sea. And I think in me head that I must have lasted for about 4 or 5 minutes, but in reality I think I was probably in and out in 30 seconds. It was Baltic, like I can't even begin to explain how cold it was. But I know the cold has such a powerful impact on your body, and I'm actually going to do an upcoming episode about this. Let me write this down. Because I'm currently reading Wim Hof's book, you know, The Iceman. If you don't— if you've never heard of Wim Hof, like, go and Google him. It's W-I-M-H-O-F. He's actually got a show on Channel— I think it's BBC One at the minute— and here in the UK, and with Holly Willoughby and Lee Mack called Freeze the Fear. But yeah, it's all about breathing techniques and what we can do when we put our mind to it and face things like the cold Obviously don't go for an open water swim on your own. It can really, really take your breath away, and it can leave you in a state of shock as well. Like, always make sure that you're with someone. But the benefits that I felt for the rest of the day were absolutely insane. Like, I felt so alive. I felt so full of energy despite not even having had like me breakfast, and I'd just trained in the gym. I should have been drained, but there I was running around on the beach in just a pair of shorts screaming, laughing. It was amazing. But yeah, I'm going to leave it there, and I'll do some more talking about this on another episode because it really is fascinating, the benefits that it can have on your body. And once I've read Wim Hof's book, I'll be able to debrief a bit more on, you know, kind of breathing techniques and what actually the cold does for your body. And then just one last other thing as well. I've been manifesting for so long, trying to get someone who lives nearby to me who does Reiki reflexology, massage, head massage, Thai massage. And obviously I've had Josie on the show before. Josie does, um, like sports massage, she does Indian head massage and stuff like that, but she doesn't do Reiki and she doesn't do reflexology. And I've just been trying to manifest someone really local to us, and every time I've gone on Google, there's never been like anyone nearby or anything like that. So I have looked before, and then I don't know why, but at the weekend I thought, hmm, I need some Reiki. I feel like I've got a lot of blocked energy at the minute. I'm going to go and have a Reiki session next week. And I just went on Google and I just typed in Reiki near me, and straight away, the top of my street, there is a woman who does Reiki, reflexology, massage, head massage, Thai massage. She's called Andrea. I'm going to see her next Wednesday. She runs workshops on like different, um, like new moon workshops, full moon workshops, manifesting workshops. She does all of this from this little hut in the garden. I was absolutely gobsmacked. Anyway, I'm going to go and see her on Wednesday, so next week's episode I'll have something to debrief on again. But yeah, in the meantime, right, I'm going to go anyway because I'm rambling on. We're nearly at 30 minutes, but you can DM me on TikTok or Instagram if you have any questions. I'm @cannycrystals, or you can message me on my personal, which is @martweedie. Even feel free to message me on the chat function on my website, cannycrystals.co.uk, if you're that bored. I hope that you enjoyed another episode of me rambling on. Have a beautiful week and I'll see you all again next Friday for a special Jubilee episode of Kenny Crystals the Podcast. There'll be nothing special about it, just to put that out there as a caveat. It's just another Friday, isn't it? But anyway, see you next Friday. Bye!

You want to get your backyard summer ready, but you don't want to break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget. Plus, surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait! Shop Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com.

Wayfair.

Every style. Every home.