048: Spirituality and me, ft. Claire Kenny

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Hi everyone, thank you so much for joining me on another episode of Connie Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all well. This week I've got a really exciting episode for you because I've got a guest on the show. It's been a few weeks, but woohoo! So this week I'm talking to Claire Kenny from My 40 Plus Life. So Claire, just before we get started, would you mind telling everyone a little bit about yourself?

Yeah, lovely to be here. Good morning. I'm Claire. I'm a 40+ blogger. I kind of label myself a 40+ blogger because I didn't start blogging until I was I think I was 42. And I'm really excited about writing. I never lose my excitement for blogging. I'm 46 now, so I'm getting quite ancient, but I really enjoy just writing about all my experiences as a 40+ woman. And I'm trying to be a little bit of an antidote to a lot of the sort of posturing and grandiosity that we see on social media that can leave us feeling just a little bit crappy about ourselves sometimes. So I just try and embrace the joy to be found in the ordinary and in real life and be as relatable as possible.

That's Brill. And your blog, My 40 Plus Life, it's full of stories about like everyday things like weight loss, the dating scene, self-love, self-trust, exercise, pets, even down to positivity and mindset. So how did that all come about for you? Like, how did the blog come about?

Well, I had to— it was born out of quite a bad time really for me. So, um, I got divorced when I was 30— 39— separated from my husband when I was 39. And, uh, I was initially thriving really once I'd kind of processed it and grieved for the marriage. I came out of the other side of it, um, in my early 40s and felt really good, sort of found myself again. And then I kind of just— I couldn't shake this feeling that there was something missing. Um, I tied everything up in finding a partner I was like, I'll feel okay when I have a partner. And of course, that's not healthy. You have to sort of fill yourself up before you can, I guess, fill someone else up. And I was just kind of searching for, you know, why do I feel everything's like, meh, and why don't I feel positive? So it got that bad that I just kind of thought, right, I'm going to go on a mission here. I'm going to build myself up and I'm going to be happy again. And that's kind of what I did. And blogging was— it came out, it came from the pandemic. Actually, I was busier than I'd ever been. I was working stupid hours, but blogging on top of that, it gave me a bit of an escape. It gave me a purpose. Wasn't actually going to share any of my writing at first, but I just started getting really, really passionate about it. And from there, filled with more enthusiasm than I've ever felt, and I feel genuinely happy. I still haven't found a partner. I've had a few blips, but nothing, nothing lasting. But I just feel honestly happier in my 40s than I've ever been. And I want to really try and spread that formula that I use. Not that I'm a life coach or anything, because I'm really not, heaven forbid. But I just want to share that positive message with people that actually, even if you're single, you know, and you're in your late 40s, you can still be really bloody happy. Yeah.

Of course. I mean, I'm 35, so I'm almost there, but I know what you mean, because like, and especially with the pandemic and things, when you were talking, it's like that escapism as well. You just needed something to like to, to get your teeth into, kind of thing. And I remember you launching your blog, and I'm sure it was the very first day of Boris telling us in the UK that, you know, you must stay home and all that. But I believe, yeah, I think off the top of my head it was March, it was March 14th, 2020. And I remember reading it, and you mentioned in your first post that you were quite spiritual, and obviously that got me straight away. So I was hooked straight away, and I was reading through it, and I was like, I didn't realize this about you. Because just for context, me and Claire worked in the NHS together. I think we've only met a couple of times, haven't we? Once in Leeds and once up in Durham. But yeah, we've worked together. But it's weird because you don't realize that someone's open to that kind of conversation when you're working in the NHS, do you? Because we're doing everything by the book and stuff. So how did spirituality all come about for you? Was it, um, kind of— has it always been there, or is it just since the pandemic?

No, I don't think it has always been there. Um, I, again, during the pandemic, and I'd, I'd been through, um, a sort of a breakup and a few other bits and pieces. The pandemic had happened. It just really makes you evaluate things, doesn't it? And I just thought, how do I— as I said, I made a conscious decision to become a more positive person and try and go out and get what I wanted. Didn't even know what I wanted. So that was part of my mission. Identify what it is you want, what makes you happy. Didn't even know. And it was all part of that. I started reading books about it and I should recommend some. I'll follow up. I never remember the name of books, but I'll follow up with a few recommendations if that would help you listeners. Because one of them was life-changing. Things like manifestation, you know, visualization, gratitude, just simple things. And I started sort of pulling together, uh, my own framework of spirituality that worked for me. Um, you know, I've got a crystal. It's not on my desk. Oh, I'm holding my labradorite now, actually. Only your listeners will get that. You know, if I said that to a normal person, they just walk away backwards. But I started looking into crystals crystals and, you know, the different properties they had and things like that. And I have— I've got this little crystal, it's not particularly overwhelming to look at, it's a smoky quartz, and that got me through some really hard times. I used to take it out and in my handbag and hold it if I was feeling like really stressed out or, um, you know, in need of comfort. It's really surprising what's out there to help you feel better.

Yeah, yeah, I get that. So was that kind of the turning point, that like— did you have like a specific light bulb moment or anything, or was it just kind of a culmination of, okay, I've read this book, I'm dealing with this crystal kind of thing, and then you kind of just come to it being an everyday part of your life.

Yeah, I don't think there was a light bulb moment as such. I just gradually realized that the more I did, the better I was feeling. And I think the writing helped as well because that was— that's so cathartic, you know, sitting and I'll write about it. It's my way of processing things. I'll sit and write about an experience and it gets it all out of my system and I can process it and then move on. Um, so that helped obviously as well. But yeah, I just kind of grew to realize, like, dog walks were a big deal in the lockdown. Of course, I'd go on my quite a long walk at tea time every day, and, um, I used to talk— well, I mean, God knows if anyone saw me, I hope they didn't. I used to talk my order, Universal Order List, out loud up and down the canal. And then I got everything, got everything on my list. And I've got a list now of like 3 or 4 things all the time, and I can when I tick them off, it's really, really powerful. And you think, shit, I didn't just do this because I felt really low. It actually works.

Yeah, it does.

It's amazing. Yeah.

So you talk in your blog as well about kind of running, and I know you're a keen runner, more so than me anyway.

I won't say I'm keen.

I'm a runner. I was going to say, well, yesterday actually at the gym, I went on the treadmill and I did 3 or 4K, and today I can't walk. And that's the first time I've run in about a year, though. So to be fair. But do you think exercise like running kind of helps you keep a clear head? And can you tell me a bit more about how this has an effect on your physical as well as your mental well-being as well?

Yeah, I think any exercise, it doesn't have to be running. It can be walking, swimming, whatever works for you. Of course, it can't not help you mentally, can it? I think any, any situation that takes you out of your own head and just puts you in a— it's almost a hypnotic state of, I've just got to focus on my breathing. Oh, look how beautiful it is where I'm running. Oh, let me have a chat with this person running alongside me. Just takes you away from all the stuff, the hamster wheel in your head, I guess. That can always be— that can only be a positive thing. But also, running gave me a purpose. It's not something I particularly enjoy. I'm very open about this, um, but it's given me a structure to my week. It's given me a sort of an anchor point, you know. I've always got a place I can go and see the loveliest people. I've met some really good lifelong friends, um, and it just— it's just always something you can go back to when you need it.

Yeah, I get that. And I mean, what you were saying there about getting into that hypnotic state as well, because And I think that's what it is for me. I get bored when I'm running and I'm like, oh, it's exercise. You get 5, 10 minutes into it and I'm like, why did I commit to this? And yesterday when I was on the treadmill, because I've just joined this new gym and they have like a screen on the treadmill and you can play chess, you can play Sudoku and stuff like that. Wow. So that kept my mind occupied. So although I was bouncing up and down and I was pressing the buttons and stuff and I was playing solitaire and chess and stuff, and it really took my mind off it. And before I knew it, I'd done 3 or 4K and I was like, I wouldn't have done that if I hadn't have had like my mind like focused on the running itself. It's weird, isn't it?

Yeah, it is weird, and it's quite a magical thing really, because your mind's up— your phone's never more than an arm's length away. There's so many distractions everywhere, so to find something that really does take you out of your own head is pretty, pretty important, I think.

Yeah. So I know you mentioned there as well that spirituality only recently came around for you, but What did your childhood look like for you in terms of spirituality or religion, like looking back?

Religion didn't play a part in, in my childhood really at all. My dad's a Catholic, but we never sort of, never really went to church or sort of had any focus on religion really. Um, spirituality, I used to get quite anxious as a young person. Um, I used to be quite superstitious. So if there was ever sort of a, I don't know, horror story, you know, you have like urban myths, things like that, they could really affect me. I look back now and I think, God, you were quite, you know, quite anxious as a young kid. But other than that, so I had, I probably did have sort of spiritual beliefs, but not in a positive way. I had nothing to counteract that anxiety with. You know, I would never have known anything about meditation or positive mindset, visualisation, anything like that. And I think it's actually something we should be talking to young people about now that I've seen how it's helped me.

Yeah, definitely. I think mental health, it's coming to the forefront, isn't it, of the agenda and things. But like you say, stuff like that wasn't available. It probably was available when we were younger, but we weren't made aware of it. It's only like when you start doing your own research and things that you start becoming more and more aware of it. So if you could go back and give your childhood you a piece of advice, what would it be? Would it be around that? Would it be like just kind of look into some self-development or gratitude or things like that?

Yeah, I think every single person from, you know, however young they might be should probably be, uh, given some insight into the power of a positive mindset, being grateful and keeping really strong focus on your goals and focusing on the possibilities. And when you're young, anything is possible. So I think I would probably go back and say, you know, try and stay positive and try and ground yourself into the realities. You know, don't get carried away with something that's probably not going to happen. Just really focus on staying calm and believing that good will happen because it will.

Yeah, I did a podcast episode on this last week, actually, about how we get into our heads a bit too much and we ruminate. So by worrying and having anxiety and things like that, we're actually going through the situation once in our head and then we have to relive it again when it actually happens. But 9 times out of 10, it doesn't happen. So we're going through this and wasting our energy on this. Mindless fart in our head, basically. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, because we're worried about it, so that these anxious thoughts, we're just wasting all our energy on them. It's just nice to be present in the moment, isn't it? Do you do a lot of mindfulness or anything, Claire?

Um, I used to, um, in the sort of early days. I don't probably do enough now, to be honest. Uh, one of the maybe sad things about, um, finding kind of more spiritual ways to be in day-to-day life. I don't listen to music as much anymore. So, like, no, my car journeys used to be full of Mariah Carey, uh, Cardi B, you know, from time to time. Female.

Really? I wouldn't have you down as a Cardi stan.

I like rap, but now they're just filled with silence or me, you know, doing my gratitude practice. Yeah, people are going to think I'm crazy, but people who don't get it. I know your listeners get it, but people who don't get it really do. There is a real taboo around this stuff, isn't there?

Yeah.

But yeah, I use my car journeys now for— it's my spiritual portal, my car.

That's good. I was going to say that you actually acknowledge that though, because it's the first thing I do on a morning. Like, my little Alexa thing wakes us up and the radio comes on straight away, and it's just because music is a part of my life. Even when I'm sat here in the office, I have music on all day, every day. I just love music. And it's so uplifting for me. But that is like my clutch kind of thing, do you know what I mean? But when I'm driving, that is kind of my little spiritual portal as well. But I usually have subliminal audios on. You're not supposed to listen to subliminal audios. I will just put that out there because you don't want to be falling asleep.

Yeah, I haven't fallen asleep, I must add. But I have listened to them in my car.

I was going to say, I've got like subliminal audios blasting down the car. And when it's the summer and stuff, I've got the windows down and I'll pull up at the traffic lights next to someone and they must be like thinking, What the hell is he listening to? And it's like ocean waves and pianos and things and must look like a right nut. But it's just them things. It's what you do. But you segregate that time, don't you? To think, well, this is my me time.

Yes.

So it's weird when you're actually in the car with someone else because you've got to make conversation and stuff.

Oh, God, heaven forbid.

So can we talk about this retreat, Clare, as well? Because I read on your blog that you went on a retreat. I think it was a couple of years ago now. But I was fascinated because I've always wanted to do one of these myself. I've just never had the courage to because they're always full of women, really, and I don't want to like put pressure on other women like that they have to accept a gay man into their circle, do you know what I mean? But what was it like for you? Because you did something called Forest Bathing, didn't you? So what did that involve?

Well, one thing I'll say before I answer that is I, I, I would hate to think that you'd hesitate to go to one of these, um, uh, retreats because I think the kind of person who's attracted to that sort of experience is incredibly inclusive and welcoming of anyone who would go. So please don't let, you know, the fact that one, you're a man, or two, that you're a gay man, put you off at all, because in my experience, you would have been welcome with open arms.

I know I probably would. I think that's just a mindset block for me that I think I'm putting on to other people, do you know what I mean? But what was it like for you then?

Oh God, I loved it. It was just something that I started a bit of a journey of trying to do things on my own more, because I think as a single woman and one of my age, you sometimes think— well, I went through a phase where I just, I did not want to be out with couples. I hated— I was so hung up about the fact that I hadn't managed to find a successful relationship, and the only person in a sea of couples just put me off going out sometimes. And a lot of my other friends who were single were busy, you know, because people are, aren't they? I thought, well, I'm missing out on life here, so I need to get out and start doing stuff on my own. And a retreat seemed like quite a good place to start. So I just found it online, went along and absolutely loved it. It was in a really beautiful setting in North Yorkshire and got really well looked after from start to finish. Great food. Uh, lovely. It was all women again.

Yeah.

Um, and the forest bathing was the standout activity for me, definitely.

So tell me a bit about forest bathing, because I, I literally had to Google it to find out what it was, because I've never even heard of that before. I've heard of like moon bathing and stuff, but what did the forest bathing involve?

I'm not sure where it originates from, actually. I don't know if it's Japan or it might be Scandinavian country, I can't remember, but it's basically all about, um but immersing yourself in, I suppose, one of the most beautiful environments on offer. Uh, you know, everywhere's got a forest, I guess, wherever you are in the world. Most places have. It's beautiful, like aesthetically it looks beautiful, it's very peaceful, um, and it just feels quite immersive. And it was literally this expert on sort of forest environments and spirituality, I guess, just talked us through various scenarios where you would find your own little corner of the forest. So we were all in a group together, but you could separate out and have your own little pocket of peace in this forest. You were asked first to close your eyes and just listen and smell. Then it was just focus on what you can see. Then it was focus on what you can touch. And it was literally just sort of a series of moments of silence, really, of just focusing on what was right in front of you. And it was just absolutely wonderful. Me and my sister replicated it as well. We went to Sherwood Forest in the new year. I kind of took her through a bit of a forest bathing scenario, and we ended up laid on the floor with our sort of boots off, just absolutely loving life, listening to the birds and the—

like grounding.

Oh yeah, it was just lovely. It was a lovely day, that, actually. So yeah, I would recommend it to anyone, even if you don't do it all in an organized tour, just do it yourself.

I was going to say, I love that, but like all the forests and stuff around here, they're always muddy and stuff whenever I take the dog and I think they'll lie down. You'd have to do it in the middle of summer, wouldn't you? But it sounds absolutely amazing.

You don't have to lie down, you could sit there, just sit on a rock.

Yeah, there's plenty of trees and that over, isn't there, usually that you can sit on like logs.

Yeah, absolutely. I climbed a tree in the Sherwood because there were massive trees. You could just do a bit of tree hugging. My sister and I just took it too far like we always do. But the actual organised one, nobody had to lay down. Just me and my sister decided to—

I might even organize like a Canny Crystals retreat or something. Like, I've thought for ages, do you know what I mean, about doing like a full moon like retreat or something where we can all meet up, all go to the beach, do some yoga on the beach and some mindful movement. Do like a—

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A crystal cleanse or something in front of the sea. Sit around a campfire, that kind of thing. And then like forest bathing and moon bathing and stuff like that. That's all a bit of me, do you know what I mean? I would love to be able to plan something like that. I just need the time and the effort to be able to pull something like that off.

Yeah, I'm sure you could. And I would definitely recommend it to your listeners. It's worth doing, taking a day out to just do all that wonderful healthy stuff, fill yourself up again and go back to normal life.

Yeah, I was going to say, you've got to fill yourself up from time to time, haven't you? Like, you can't keep on giving and giving from an empty cup. So, and so, Claire, I know that you're into the law of attraction and manifesting because there's even a blog post on your website about it. So is that something that you've done at any point in your life where you've had a vision and it's come true? Because I know you were saying earlier about you having a list of things that you've manifested and you're ticking them off and things like that. But is this something that you've done consciously or unconsciously in the past, or is it something that you're looking back now and you're thinking, I manifested that?

I think I've done it in the past and not really known. I remember when I was traveling, I wanted to come home, and I had a vision of me living in a flat in a particular area. And when I came and I applied for a flat, and I got, I got almost identically the flat I envisaged myself living in. So, but they're only isolated incidents. I can't really remember any other specific incidents from before I sort of hit my 40s. Um, so yeah, it's, it's very intentional now, um, and it's just literally part of my everyday life because it is so powerful.

Yeah. And what are your top manifestation tips then? Because I know you've got some of them on your blog as well, but yeah, what are the, what are the techniques that work best for you?

Well, I think it's like anything, it's a bit of discipline. Um, so that's why I've had to sort of carve out my car journey time to— because you, you need to find time in the day to focus on this stuff if it's important to you. So be consistent, you know, at least every 2 days. But every day for me, I'll put it out there. Put what you want out there and really feel like you've already got it, you know, to try and build a sense of magic and excitement around it. And then when you do get it, it just feels wonderful.

It does, doesn't it? So what's on your vision board for the foreseeable future? Like, what do the next 5 years hold for you? What do you want to manifest?

Well, I don't really work in sort of finite time frames. I'm not— I'm more of a words person. I'm useless with numbers. But I've got my vision board on the back of one of my wardrobe doors, right? And a lot of it is centered around my writing career because that is just, just lit me up, you know, since I, since I started it. And it gives me a lot of purpose and excitement, fulfillment. I have two very specific titles that I want to write for. And in the same month, I'm hoping— one of the articles has already come out in Woman and Home magazine.

Brilliant. Congratulations.

Thank you. And then the next one is Yorkshire Life magazine. I'm obsessed with Yorkshire Life magazine, um, and that's on my vision board as well, just the masthead of Yorkshire Life. And I'm hoping my article that I've written for them is coming out this month. It might not, I'm not sure. But, um, so there's stuff around that, the stuff around being financially secure and independent and being able to help my daughter, you know, have a good start in life as well. Um, and then just, just generally, there's nothing on there about meeting someone. That was always like the main thing I wanted. Not anymore. That'll sort itself out when it sorts itself out. And it's, it's just about a general way of life that I want to attain. You know, being able to afford to do what I want to do when I want to do it, be able to travel, eat good food, drink champagne, that kind of— maybe that sounds a bit bougie, but it's, it's about freedom just to be able to do what I want to do when I want to do it. And there's sort of stuff that depicts that on my vision board.

I love that. See, I've got my vision board everywhere, and I've got a little space just above my head in my office and I'm going to update my vision board this week and I'm going to stick it up there on the wall so that whenever I'm in my office, I'm like, this is what I'm aiming for, this is what I'm working towards.

Yes.

But it's good that you were saying about looking for a relationship and things like that and how that will sort itself out, because I've had the same kind of like this. I've gone through the same kind of thing. Basically, I jumped from relationship to relationship from the age of 16 until the age of— I'm trying to do the maths here— until the age of 27. And it wasn't until I literally said, oh, I'm just gonna like not look for anyone and just do me kind of thing. And I got braces on to fix my teeth, um, I got my tattoo sleeve, I started like going to the gym all the time, and that's when I met Johnny. And things just happened naturally, and I've been with him for the last 8 years now. We're engaged, and do you know what I mean? And it's just like it happened naturally, and I think The, the relationship that I have with Johnny is so effortless because in the past I've been with people that, you know, like the toxic people, or that, yeah, you argue and stuff all the time. We've literally had maybe 3 or 4 arguments the whole 8 years we've been together, and they've been over totally irrelevant things. Like, it's so effortless, do you know what I mean? And that's come about because I've just kind of succumbed to the universe and just let it do its job kind of thing, rather than that desperation.

Yeah, yeah, because if you come in at something from a place of desperation, if we do believe that the law of attraction is a thing, well, what are you going to attract from desperation? Somebody who wants you for the wrong reasons, or you want them for the wrong reasons. So yeah, it's interesting though, isn't it? Because if you— if we say we want a relationship, I know you're very happy with Johnny and you settled down, and I think it's something that I want. It is something I want in the future, but I'm not consciously manifesting it, putting it out there, putting any effort into attracting one. Um, so I wonder how that works in terms of manifestation. Does that mean— because people say you find someone when you're not looking, so it's an interesting contradiction, I suppose.

Yeah, I mean, I've done a podcast episode about it before in terms of like feng shui and stuff like that, because in feng shui they'll tell you to clean out your bedroom, for example, clean out a drawer that you would like let them put their clothes in, sleep on one side of the bed, uh, make sure that your car's not parking across two spaces, that kind of thing. So you're intentionally giving the universe hints, but you're not intentionally going out there and looking for it. You're just letting it do its job and letting it come to you naturally. So yeah, I guess maybe try something like that.

Yeah, if I'm bothered enough. Yeah, I was gonna say, I need to get my head in gear and maybe work a bit harder at this stuff. Yeah, I just think I'm, I'm I'm so happy that I'm finally— because I really did struggle with this— finally happy with my life the way it is, regardless of whether there's a bloke sat on the sofa farting. You know, it's, it's a great place to be, and I think I'd like to enjoy that a bit longer.

Brill. So when we spoke last as well, you told me that crystals had— and I quote here— got you through some real shit in your life.

Oh wow, okay.

So would you like to elaborate on that?

Yes, I will really happily elaborate on that. I haven't got— oh, I've got my smoky quartz, it's here, it's on my desk. Look at this little insignificant tiny smoky quartz. I can't remember if I bought this or if it was given to me by a lovely woman who did— I did Reiki with, um, I can't remember. But this thing, I read about the meaning of smoky quartz, I think it's supposed to be grounding and soothing. And whenever I felt anxiety, because I have struggled with anxiety. I'm not generally an anxious person, but I'll sometimes have episodes of, of anxiety where I'm worrying about a specific thing. Um, this has just really helped me. Um, and it's interesting because I went to, uh, like a spiritual day at this Reiki practitioner's house that she hosted with about 5 other women, and we had to swap something that was precious to us and sort of try and read the energies of it. And I took this and I gave it to a woman who was sat next to me and she had it spot on. She said, I feel like this is such a personal thing, and I feel like there's a lot of emotion and pain attached to it. And it's— I feel like it's, it's some sort of an important, uh, crutch for someone. Yeah, I just couldn't believe it. And it's true. So again, your listeners, we know, don't we, you know, in this circle, the importance of these things. Excuse me. But, um, to other people, that's an inanimate object. To me, yeah, it's been a really important part of my, you know, healing journey.

Yeah, I totally get that. I mean, what you were saying about the listeners get it but other people don't— like, Johnny doesn't get it at all. So, in— he's a graphic designer and he's got a home office, and when the pandemic hit and stuff like that, he said that he was like lagging on creativity. So I put a couple of crystals on his shelf in his office for creativity, and I said, just make sure you cleanse them like once a week and set your intentions for 5 minutes. And he does meditate but that's about as spiritual as he gets, kind of thing. So these crystals have sat there, and the other day I went in and I went, how dusty is this crystal? I was like, you haven't even touched that, you know what I mean? Yeah, they just don't get it, do they? Like, but to me, I was like really helping them out by giving them this creative energy and helping them flourish and things. But yeah, each their own. Anyway, so what's your favorite crystal then, Claire? Is it that smoky quartz, or is it the Labradorite?

Yeah, this one. It's got to be this one. When I was coming from a place of desperation about meeting someone. I bought, um, a, uh, what's the pink, the pink one?

Uh, rose quartz.

Rose quartz, yes. I bought that in a heart shape and I used to take it everywhere with me. Oh, maybe I'll meet somebody, you know. That's not, that's not the right way, is it, to work, to use a crystal? They're just, you just have them and they do their thing.

But some people, like, well, most people, should I say, use rose quartz and they think it's going to bring their soulmate to them, and it's not what it does. Rose quartz opens up the heart chakra. So it's actually helping you heal in terms of like self-esteem, self-confidence, self-love. And that's what it's doing. So by doing that, you're then going to attract that love to you. But I mean, if you were wanting to find your soulmate, I mean, Strawberry Quartz is the one. Strawberry Quartz, um, that's the one really, because that's the one that will attract your soulmate to you and get them to see different hidden like things about you that you wouldn't have usually put out there.

But yeah, I've never even heard of that.

Have you not? Oh, there's, there's a million quartzes. I mean, I'll show you it here. This is a strawberry quartz.

Oh, I love those tower ones. Yeah, yeah, that's gorgeous. Yeah, yeah. And just one more thing on crystals. My sister and my brother-in-law bought me a massive one for Christmas. It's absolutely visually stunning. Do you know what, I might show you it, but I won't do it now because it'll sort disrupt the flow. But I'd love to show you it on camera because I'd like you to tell me kind of what you think it is and what the sign— because it's massive. It's private place in my living room. It's beautiful.

Oh, I need to see it.

Yeah, I'll show you. I'll show you it.

So how do you use them daily? Are you just carrying them around, or are you meditating with your smoky quartz and things?

Or— yeah, I don't, I don't do much meditation at the moment, although I probably should do more. I have them on my desk a lot of the time because I spend a lot of my life at my desk. I work from home a lot. I blog at my desk as well, because I've got a day job, you know, full-time job. Um, so I've got a labradorite on my desk, which I've heard is good for sort of ambition and prosperity. I might be wrong there, and I just like looking at it. So while I'm on phone calls, I'll sometimes look and see the light. It's beautiful. Um, and I have my, my smoky quartz. If I'm really going through something, I feel really worried about something, I probably take this smoky quartz with me everywhere. Yeah. And then I have a few crystals on my bedside table, the rose quartz one, and the, um, I've got a clear, clear crystal. I can't remember what it's called.

Clear quartz?

It might be clear quartz. Yeah, because it looks similar to that.

Yeah, there's thousands of bloody quartz.

Yeah, I just have them around. I just like to have them around and pick them up occasionally and yeah, just enjoy the energies.

I was going to say, that's the thing. Like, it's not harming anyone, is it? Do you know what I mean? Like, a few of my friends have kids and things like that, and they've even just like— because you can get like little amethyst elephants, for example. And when the kids aren't sleeping, they've been putting these amethyst elephants on their bedside table and it's helping the kids go to sleep. And I said, at the end of the day, sometimes— like, one of my friends is like, the dad, their, you know, their other half, the dad of the little child, he basically turned around and said, oh, what's the point of this? It's not going to work and stuff. And I said, but what's the harm? It's not harming anyone.

It looks like a little ornament, do you know what I mean?

Like the kid's not going to know any different. And funnily enough, the kid's been sleeping ever since.

Well, there you go. Yeah, exactly. I will say about rose quartz though, I've tried sleeping, like fallen asleep a few times with it in my hand and had the strangest and sometimes quite scary dreams. So I had to stop having it in my hand and just put it on the table.

Oh, that's weird, isn't it?

Really, really, yes, vivid surreal stuff happening when I slept, so I've stopped that.

I mean, they do say that your dreams are your mind's way of working through like all your, your problems and things like that in your life. So maybe it's just something that you needed to get out of your system to help you on your self-esteem journey.

Yeah, maybe.

Who knows? So Claire, how can people find you, uh, if they're wanting to find you online?

Um, so it's Instagram or Facebook, and my handle is my40pluslife.me. So either, either put similar, the same content on both platforms. Facebook, I've sort of, it's slightly longer form content, but it's essentially similar content.

Yeah, what I'll do is I'll also pop all of the, the links to your social media in the show notes below as well. So if anyone is wanting to find Claire online, read through her blog or anything like that, you can do so at the links in the show notes below. Claire, just before we go, is there anything else that you'd want to plug?

Yeah, do you know what, I had an idea over the weekend and I would like to plug this actually because it may sort of appeal to some of your listeners. Uh, it depends when this goes out, to be honest, but, um, I'm alone at home on a Saturday night quite regularly and that's the way I like it. I'm very busy through the week. My daughter goes to her dad's at the weekend and I'll have the house to myself on Saturday. And I used to hate it and think, oh, I should be out, I should be doing this, should be doing that. And now it's my sort of haven. I know it's the night most people go out, but for me, I enjoy being at home, chilling out, you know, loving life. But it's occurred to me that not everybody feels that way. You know, they might feel stuck at home. So what I thought on Saturday night, as I was cooking my meal for one, is why don't I do something on a Saturday night virtually that just gives people a space to come together and have a bit of company. So this, from this Saturday, I'm doing something called #SoloSaturday. It's only for half an hour at first. It's an Instagram Live. And it's just a space, every, every, every, everybody is welcome. If you're a bit, a bit of a loose end, or you're feeling a bit fed up, or, you know, you just want to laugh for half an hour, come and join us. Via Instagram Live.

I love that. I saw you advertise that yesterday, actually, and I was thinking, hmm, this looks cool. Yeah, but yeah, I might even join myself.

Oh, I'd love it if you came along.

Is it like a room where you've got to be on camera, or is it just like you on camera and everyone's chatting?

Is it like a chat room? I'll be on camera first because that's— I'm not—

I think you can invite guests on and stuff, can't you? Like, you can share the screen and things.

I think you can share the screen. Yeah. I think for the first one, I'm not very technically minded.

Neither am I.

So I think I'll probably just do it me and see how it goes. People can just put the messages in the chat and I'll relay them out to the group. But if it sort of takes off, yeah, I might start having guests on, things like that. Could have you on.

It'll end up being a podcast before you know it.

You never know.

So Claire, thank you so much for joining me today. I really, really do appreciate the chat and it was lovely to catch up.. And if anyone does want to know more about Claire's blog, My 40 Plus Life, like I say, the show notes has all the links below. So Claire, thank you so much.

Thank you, it's been lovely talking to you.

I know, it's been lush, hasn't it? And yeah, I'll see you all next week for another episode of Candy Crystals the podcast. Thanks very much guys, bye!

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