065: Identifying and releasing limiting beliefs

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Welcome back to another episode of Cani Crystals, the podcast. Hello everyone, I hope that you're all well. So here we are, 2023, can you believe? I hope that you've all had an amazing Christmas. I hope that you've all celebrated well over the new year as you'd like to. It's been a bit of a weird one for me again, and here we go, get the violins out, because for the second year in a row I've been ill. You can probably hear it in my voice, but I've been ill again. At least this year it wasn't COVID though, that's all I'm saying. So even now as I record this, I'm still really poorly with that bloody super flu that's doing its rounds. I don't know if any of you have had it. Oh, it's absolutely horrible. It started on Boxing Day and I said to Johnny that, you know, when you get like that bit of an ache and muscle pain in between your shoulder blades, and I said that to him and I was like, do you know what, I'm getting like these fever sweats, and he was like, oh, just go to sleep. And that night I barely got any sleep because I was shivering with those cold sweats again. Honestly, my temperature was so high and I just thought, oh my God, here we go again, round 2 COVID, ding ding. But I've tested every single day since and it's been negative every single time. So I've just pulled myself around to head out with friends on New Year's Eve, and I honestly think that probably standing in the rain for 5 hours probably didn't help. So apologies for sounding a bit like Marge Simpson once again. It is so weird because I don't think before I did podcasting, I didn't realize how, how frequently I actually lost my voice and how frequently I had throat infections and colds and stuff like that. And I think it's just been brought to life because obviously I'm using my voice doing content, I'm using my voice, using my voice, sorry, doing podcasts and stuff like that. But yeah, Can't be helped. I'm really, really sorry. You're just gonna have to put up with it. But yeah, while I've been messaging a few of you this week, you've also said that you've been ill with the flu as well. So I hope that you're all looking after yourselves. I hope that you're all feeling better soon as well. If it's anything like round here, I've been to 3 chemists today and they had nothing on the shelves. Nothing. Like, no tablets, no sachets, no cough medicine. Ugh, I'm sick of it. I just want it to be over. This has like gone on for like 10 days now. Anyway. I'm just so happy that mid-December I kind of took it upon myself to script and record the 31 Days of Gratitude, because honestly, if I had to do it day on day right now, you probably wouldn't have even had the first 5 episodes because I couldn't speak, put it that way. But I'm so glad that you're all showing up and that you're all listening into it as well. So big round of applause from me. If you don't have a clue what I'm talking about, head to the website cannycrystals.uk From the menu, select Academy, and you'll find it there. It's a 31-day gratitude process. It's quite similar to The Magic, if you've ever done that, but it's my spin on it, and it's in a shorter podcast form rather than the need for you to read away every single day. And I've had some absolutely amazing feedback from it so far. I haven't had a single negative thing, so I'm so, so happy. And you're all getting involved as well. You're all tagging your gratitude journals on Instagram every day and TikTok. So seriously, thank you so, so much. I'm grateful for that, ironically. And like I've said before, if you join before the 31st of January, it's yours for life for free. Okay? If you're listening to this after the 31st of January, still go and check it out. You can join whenever, do it whenever. It's not specific to January. It's just that most people want to start, you know, to engrain gratitude at the start of the year. But it'll come at a very small cost if you do join after the 31st of January. And that's just to help with the cost of the platform hosting. Someone said to us the other day that she absolutely loved how professional it was and how easy it was to use on a phone and on a laptop, and she asked why it wouldn't be free forever. So, you know, I just had to explain because she was quite shocked when I explained to her that the platform I'm using, obviously it's not free and it costs just over something like £2,000 a year plus VAT. So don't worry if you've got access now, like I say, it is free. It's free to you forever, but I've got to cover my costs somehow later in the year. So don't worry, it's going to be like £10 or something later in the year, but if you've got it now, it's free for you forever. But you don't need to worry about that. That was just my, basically, you know, my free New Year's gift to you all. But yes, enough about all that shit. Let's see what we're going to be talking about today. So I've made some notes because I get a lot of messages, as you know, and a lot of them this week have been asking about— because I've been talking a lot about limiting beliefs lately, people are asking what their limiting beliefs are because I talk about breaking down limiting beliefs and changing them all the time. But a few of you have asked how you go about identifying your own limiting beliefs if you're not already aware of them. So if someone asked me a few years ago what my own limiting beliefs were, to tell you the truth, I probably would have struggled as well. So I personally see a limiting belief as something that blocks or inhibits my ability to move on with my life in that specific area. For example, a few years ago, me biggest limiting belief, I think, was that I can't be successful. And I used to reaffirm that to meself because I didn't go to uni, nobody in me family had been successful as such, I was still working in the NHS after 15 years coming home with a bog standard salary each month. I didn't feel like I was amounting to much, if that made sense, and I was just working to keep meself afloat. I was literally working to pay bills, as many of you probably are as well. And from that limiting belief sprouted so many others like, you know, I can't earn more than $2K a month, or I can't progress further in my career, or I can't treat me friends and family because I don't have the money to. And I think I realized pretty early on that if I was going to make these changes and if I wanted to achieve these bigger goals, I'd have to move from a place of fear to a place of courage. And that meant that it was time to face and work with me fears. And there are two labels for beliefs. Okay, so there are limiting beliefs. They're the ones that hold you back from taking action. And then there are empowering beliefs which help move you towards your goal. And we know from science that as human beings, we have around 70,000 thoughts a day, and roughly 95% of those 70,000 are negative, redundant, or basically the same as yesterday. Okay, so how do we recognize a fact which is known or proven to be true against a limiting belief, which is a false belief, that a person acquires as a result of making an incorrect conclusion about something in their lives. So breaking this down, a fact is obviously something along the lines of, you know, I own cannycrystals.co.uk. That's a fact. It's my website. Or I'm Mart Tweedyedy, and I'm 35 years old. I am Mart. I am 35 years old. That is a fact. Yeah, we all know what a fact is. A limiting belief, however, is something that could be changed, but I don't believe inside that it can. So it stops me from achieving me goals. So it's almost like I'm believing it to be a fact, if that makes sense. So some common limiting beliefs could be things like, you know, I'm too old to do that, or I can't be successful in business because I failed the first time, or I can't lose weight and keep it off. They're not facts, they're what you just assume to be the truth, okay? But they are limiting belief, and these are the things in our lives that will keep us trapped in that cycle going round and round over and over again. So let's look at the Law of Attraction as an example. Okay, so many people have so many beliefs about manifestation. Some people believe that if you dream about something often enough, you know, it'll appear in your life. Other people believe that you've got to write it down and journal it out and script it. Eventually then it'll come to fruition. Some people believe in vision boards and they will only believe in vision boards. Some just believe that you get what you want in life through hard work and determination. So what I want you to think about is your own limiting beliefs. And to do this, you're going to need to think of your number one goal. Okay, so what is it that you want to achieve in this next year? We're at January 2023 here. We've got 12 more months to make an impression on our life. What do you want to achieve in the next 12 months? Really give that some thought. Okay, don't just blurt out the first thing that comes into your head. Really give some thought. What do you want to achieve in the next 12 months. Like, what is your number one goal? And if it helps you, write it down. Then you're going to want to notice and get clear about what are the facts around the goals as opposed to your own limiting beliefs. So for example, if my number one goal was to earn £1 million, pretty wild, but my facts around that would be how much I'm currently making, how I'm able to make money from different money-making opportunities and different avenues. Whereas me limiting beliefs would be saying, you're not at that level yet, or it's going to be harder to manage a turnover of £1 million, or you don't have the capacity to keep up with that kind of demand. So really give some thought as to what is limiting you, or more to the point, what do you allow to limit you, okay? 'Cause it's not all about what is limiting you, it's what you believe and what you allow to limit you. Start to notice how you think and what you say in relation to your goals. And I've done an episode about this, all about language and things like that and affirmations. Because remember, whatever you think, that's what you affirm to yourself about these goals. So the more you think about your limiting beliefs, the more you don't debunk them and you allow them to live inside you, the more you're gonna bring that reality to fruition, and that reality is going to rule your life. Do you find that you tell yourself the same stories over and over and over again? Because if you do, just ask yourself, do I wanna keep this story with this narrative, or do I wanna actually change them? And you've got to really, really ask yourself that question. Whenever you set yourself a goal, I want you to notice those feelings and those thoughts that come up within you, okay? So how you feel is everything when it comes to manifesting what you want in life. Do you feel good when you think about the goal, or do you feel negative about it? Because if you feel good, then the goal obviously resonates with you. But if for any reason you do feel negative about your goals, that's your area to look at and examine. You need to do that shadow work, okay? You can turn your negative thoughts into a positive one by stopping yourself and asking, "What's the first step I can take today to move towards feeling more positive about that situation?" And the sooner you get your head around that, the more personal power and awareness you'll have in your life. But to change your vibration and manifest your goals, you need to pay attention to the present moment. You know, how you're feeling right now, what you're saying, what you're visualizing. And I get it, it might seem unrealistic to be mindful and present every single minute of the day, but the benefits are astronomical if you pay some attention to the present moment, as this is where we sow the seeds for our future selves. And beliefs are stories that we tell ourselves over and over and over again, and they usually stem and come from stories we were told when we were much younger, as well as things that we've learned through personal experiences. So many of these thoughts and beliefs won't even be true anymore. But if you let them, they'll restrict your thinking and they'll chain you to that unconscious image of what and who you think you are. So if you think that you can't earn more than £2,000, guess what? You'll never earn more than £2,000 because you're restricted and you're chained to that thought of you being— living in scarcity, basically, meaning you'll be forever trapped. You can never cross that invisible line of achieving your manifestations. And as adults, we repeat these stories to ourselves over and over again via self-talk, and then again out loud to family or friends or whoever will listen to us have a whinge. And when you do this, your stories—

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And your limiting beliefs are becoming your reality. So how do we change these limiting beliefs? Now you know how to identify them, okay? So like I say, get a pen and paper, write out the negative belief that you have, verbalize it, accept it as a fear of yours, because just saying it out loud will help you realize what's holding you back. So anytime I feel stuck, I kind of think to myself What's stopping me from moving on further with my life in this area? Okay, and I'll ask myself that question. Once you've got your list, you need to determine what instilled those beliefs within you, because like I say, we're influenced by many things, but it's mainly people. Okay, so like news, media, friends, colleagues, family, social media, they all have heavily like influenced our lives and what we believe to be true. Sometimes our deepest fears are from traumatic encounters or childhood memories, or basically just other people's fears projected onto us. And the next step to get rid of your limiting beliefs is to find out the source of them. So like I say, once you've got your list there, find out where them ideas came from. Go back in time, like think, because you think of like scarcity with money, is that because your mom always said to you, money doesn't grow on trees? Something along those lines, yeah. But for me, I've known a lot of people in my family to complain that they couldn't afford something, or that they didn't have money for school uniform for me and my cousins, or they were having to take out a loan or a credit card. And you can see how, as a child and a teenager growing up, that this would be ingrained into me as a fear of mine as well. Social media— you've got to think of this like this, because social media is one big highlight reel, yeah? Everyone posts their best moments and they all leave out the reality that life isn't always perfect. No one would want to work with someone, would they, who didn't have their life together? And also during school, I feel that everyone was kind of accustomed to projecting the image that you have it all together because when you have those feelings or you're experiencing negative emotions, in school that's a sign of weakness and the bullies would then take advantage of you if you ever did express those insecurities. So just remember it like that. Those were some pretty heavy thoughts right there, and I know what you're thinking, and it is pretty crazy to analyze why we think a certain way and what exactly has shaped these limiting beliefs. So how do we determine our new empowering beliefs? Like I said, so this is the happy part of this process. What new belief do you want to believe instead? Because ultimately you are the one that gets to decide this, okay? So I for sure don't want to be stuck with those negative thinking patterns. So instead, I'm going to change my beliefs to be more positive. And it might take time for these new beliefs to sink in. And a way to speed it up is to look for evidence that these are true. So what works for me is finding role models that fit these new beliefs that I want to adapt. And I found people that have pivoted their businesses and they've completely started from nothing, but they're happy now that they're on the right course. And this change didn't hinder their success, it helped it. Yeah, so I've started working with a life coach. She's really, really helped me. I've started working with other podcasters. I've started, you know, working with other small businesses, and it's really helped lift me up on my platform to the next stage of my business life. And I also look for, you know, couples that have the same goals and vision for their life, but they met before either one was established. And then I'll kind of look up to those people who share their most valuable and vulnerable parts with the world because all these people prove to me that my new empowering beliefs are true. And if they can do it, so can I. And it's that kind of mindset. I'm watching someone else succeed, so I know it's possible for me as well. So it's time for you to do some research. Find some people who have overcome your fears and your limiting beliefs to look up to as role models. Okay. Something else I often find that helps is to think of the worst-case scenario. And how you're going to overcome it. And that might sound counterproductive almost, but when I finally come to terms with what the absolute worst case scenario is, I realise that I'll be okay if that happens anyway. Like, say for example, worst case scenario number 1: I change direction in me business. I completely fail. But what does fail even mean? It could be that I create a product or offer a new service that no one buys. So say for example, the Canny Crystals Academy. What if no one buys it? Okay, so the worst case scenario is that I go in a completely new direction with offering like online courses and coaching, and my audience shrinks. No one cares what I'm doing, and I make zero money. But what I know is that I can always come up with another product and make more money. And I know that I've got all these useful skills and this experience that I can earn money with, and I won't be broke and living on the street. And if I change my business to be more in line with what I want and no one's interested, well, so what? I decided to start a business that I was passionate about. I never did it to please other people. I've only done it to help those who connect with what I was doing. So I'll be okay. If anything, I'll learn from that experience. Okay, so that was like the first worst-case scenario. Worst-case scenario number 2 might be, I guess the worst case could be that if I share too much personal info and people judge us, they could leave hateful comments or just stop following altogether. If I'm being authentically me and I'm not hurting anyone, but I actually have good intentions, I can't help how other people interpret what I say and do. Do you know what I'm saying? There will always be people judging you. If it's not online, it's in real life. So being true to yourself encourages others to do the same. And I know this because it was from watching other people be raw and real on social media that gave me the courage to do the same. And so I'll keep doing me thing for the few people that do appreciate it, and I'll just block out the haters if I have to. I think about the worst-case scenarios to help me realize that I'll be okay even if it does happen. And most of the time, the worst possible outcome, it isn't actually that bad. And then last but not least, I'm just going to tell you to reaffirm these empowering new beliefs to yourself. And I've talked previously about affirmations, you know I have, I talk about it all the time., and also subliminal affirmations and the power of subliminal affirmations. Get yourself on my website, cannycrystals.co.uk, download as many as you want. I've got 15 in total, but they can really help massively here. They can rewire and reprogram your brain, and I'm including this as a crucial step because affirmations really rewire how your brain makes you think. And some may see it as, you know, stating a lie over and over again, but I see it as stating what you know deep down inside can actually be true. So when you say a statement over and over again, it sends a very clear signal to your reticular activating system, which is the part of your brain that filters the information that we're exposed to every single day, and it'll just let it know that this is important to you. So you could repeat something along the lines of, "Everything always works out for me. Happiness is my natural state of being. I am a creator of my own life. Money flows to me easily and effortlessly." I am surrounded by love at all times in my life. I could honestly get more specific, and I encourage you to write out your own affirmations custom to those life goals, custom to breaking down those limiting beliefs. So once you've done all the steps, you might have to revisit them every now and again. Sometimes I return to negative thinking patterns, but it helps to write all these steps out and just to reread them back in that case. Okay, so Eventually, these new ways of thinking will become habitual, and before you know it, your limiting beliefs will have been smashed, smashed into a million pieces. And I worked through a lot of my limiting beliefs a year ago with Jude Daunt, my life coach, and I remember her saying, "You'll always have these limiting beliefs," and I just thought, "Well, what's the point of working through them then if I'm always going to have them?" But I just remember thinking at the same time, "I'm going to smash these." So how am I still going to have them? But it is true, because when you crack these limiting beliefs, you uplevel to the next part of your life, and new limiting beliefs come into play about different other things. So Denise Dafield-Thomas has a great way of saying it. She always says, new level, new devil. And that's definitely true in this case. Okay, so don't be scared if when you smash some limiting beliefs, they're filled with new ones. It just means that you're upleveling your life, but really you're filling it with better things. So yes, have a play around. Ask yourself what's stopping you from moving forwards in your life. Do that shadow work, okay? Look internally at what your blocks are, what your limiting beliefs are, and then do the work to absolutely thrash them out the park, okay? It's the only way you can clear the rubble and build those new foundations for something bigger and better. So I hope that you all enjoyed this episode. If you did, please feel free to leave a review wherever you're listening to this on. I really would appreciate that, and it just helps this podcast grow to new audiences. Remember to sign up for the 31 Days of Gratitude for free, like I say, and just one last thing, today, as in Friday the 6th of January, I've got a huge website restock, including Moldavite again, so go check it out. Also, from 7 PM, I've got some amazing new stock. I can't wait to share it all with you. And I hope that you all have an amazing week ahead. Hope that you don't get this lurgy, and I'll see you all next Friday for another episode of Candy Crystals, the podcast. Lots of love, guys.

Bye.

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