070: How to combat spiritual loneliness

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Every style, every home. Hi everyone, and welcome to another episode of Cani Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all well and everyone's doing okay. So my name is Mart, I am your host, and this week I have had so many messages from my episode last week about quantum leaping. I think actually more messages than I've ever had about any episode ever. So many of you got in touch that you were doing the 2 Cup Method and you've had some great success stories already, which is absolutely amazing. I love how quickly it works, so well done to everyone. I struggled to get through all the messages, so apologies if I just double tapped your message. I did read them all, obviously. I just wanted to let you all know that I'd read it with, you know, when you like double tap on Instagram and you get that little love heart. But as I say, there were just so, so many. Um, so what's been happening this week? Oh my God, I have had such a weird week. So earlier this week, I'm just going to tell you about a little manifestation that happened, right? So earlier this week, I received a message on TikTok, um, saying, uh, you know, Harry Potter, the new PS5 game is out. I don't have a PS5, I've got a PS4. Uh, but they said, we saw that you're an avid gamer on your day in the life of TikTok. I think there's like a 2-second clip on that day in the life of being me kind of thing where it shows that I'm playing on PlayStation. Anyway, they reached out, they said, would you like a Harry Potter game bundle? So there was me thinking, oh, I'll probably get like, you know, the game and maybe like, I don't know, a Harry Potter mug or a wand or, you know, just something weird. When they said Harry Potter game bundle So my partner was like, you don't think they mean like an actual PS5, do you? And I was like, no. I was like, no, I don't know. I was like, no, no, no, they couldn't have. So I Googled it, see how much it was, and I was like, oh no, definitely not, they are £500. I was like, like, they wouldn't just give me a PS5 for £500. Anyway, cut to later that night, he went in the shower and an advert on TV came on for a PS5, right? And it was like all the games that were coming up soon. Not that I have freaking time to play on PlayStation, you know, I'm so bloody busy. Um, but yeah, I basically lay on the bed, watch this advert, and I close my eyes and I could just see the look on my face of me opening this box and being like, oh my God, Johnny, look, it's an actual PS5. And kind of, you know, like what we do in manifesting, we, we like go through all of our feelings, go through how we would feel, who we would tell, what excitement comes up for us, that kind of thing. And when I actually opened my eyes, I was like, oh my God, this is actually gonna happen. I'm gonna get a PS5. Anyway, cut to the next day. My mom was here, she was like cleaning around the office for us and stuff. And the receptionist said, oh, there's a big box here for you. So I went round, I looked at this big box and I was like, I have no idea what this is. 'Cause obviously this had only happened the night before. So I wasn't expecting anything like that soon anyway. So I like ripped open the top of this box and I just saw the PS5 logo. There was a PS5 and a Harry Potter game inside of this box. I honestly, like, if you're on my like personal Instagram, you might have seen like I posted it on me story. But I was like, what on earth? Like, the PS5 is £500, the Harry Potter game is like £60 or £70. Games are bloody ridiculously expensive these days. But yeah, so this was like £550 to £560 worth of stuff, and I just sat there like, what on earth? And it was almost like I relived the feeling that I had the night before when I was laying in bed thinking about it. Absolutely crazy. I'm so, so grateful. Thank you, universe. Um, so yeah, I'm just gonna try and clean me, uh, PS4 out this weekend and get everything transferred over. Um, but yeah, I honestly can't believe that I got a PS5 and a Harry Potter game. For, for nothing. I don't understand. Anyway, last weekend I also received a little WhatsApp message from Francesca Amber from Law of Attraction Changed My Life. I know a few of you, um, listen to her, Fran, as well. And when I opened the message, it was a group chat between myself, her, and Emma Mumford, who I had on the show the other week. Um, and Fran was wondering if we fancied going to Russell Brand's Community Festival and having a little bit of like, you know, a spiritual meetup So when we had a chat anyway, we spoke about Fern Cotton's Happy Place Festival as well. And I mentioned that I'd already asked around, but none of me friends were kind of that bothered about it. So we decided to go to that instead. So if you're heading to Happy Place Festival on Saturday the 15th of July at Chiswick House, please give me a shout because I would love to meet up and say hi. And I'm very, very excited because, like I say, I've wanted to go for the last few years. But I've just never had anyone to go with, so this kind of feels like it was just meant to be. So yeah, anyway, that's been my week. I hope that you've all had a good week as well. So anyway, I'm going to shoot straight into today's episode because I've got so much to crack on with here. I can't be rambling on about my personal life forever. Um, but this week I wanted to talk to you about a topic that I don't think I've discussed before, but I've gone through it personally, and I know that a lot of you lot go through it as well because I get so many messages asking about it. And that's how spirituality and your spiritual awakening can kind of leave you feeling lonely and feeling alone within yourself. So for an example, spirituality can sometimes leave you feeling like personally lonely, particularly if your beliefs and your practices kind of differ significantly from those around us. Or maybe we're on a personal development journey that others around us can't relate to. And I think I've spoken about this in past episodes, like when I started on my journey of self-discovery, the rest of me family were still mourning my granddad's death. They weren't interested in any form of spirituality, any form of self-development, whereas now they're a little more open to it because they can see firsthand how much that's developed me, and they've kind of seen what it's done for me developmentally as well. So when you go through your spiritual awakening or your self-development journey, That can provide kind of, you know, a sense of connection as something greater than yourself, and that can help like alleviate and get rid of those feelings of loneliness. But the impact of spirituality on your sense of loneliness will all depend on your individual circumstances and your experiences. So don't get us wrong, like, spirituality and your spiritual journey, it won't always be an easy one, and we know this, okay? In fact, it can be kinda like a very lonely journey. But that's mostly because we've gotten used to living life in a certain way. You know how it is, we'll begin as innocent children, we'll slowly grow up into adults full of ambitions and expectations, we're planning for a safe and secure future. But no matter how much we would hope that it did, life just doesn't go according to our wishes and it doesn't go according to plan all the time. And like I say, initially it is a lonely path full of difficulties and challenges, but once we're able to fully awaken, we can then access this amazing kind of spiritual awareness that helps to like open our hearts to unconditional love. So when we grow up as a kid and we go to school, we grow up, you know, learning to mold ourselves to fit into the fabric of society or culture that we belong to. And then after school, we're expected to take up a job and, you know, buy a house and a decent car.— and it's usually on loans and mortgages that we would then have to pay off for the rest of our fucking lives. And then we're told to settle down, find a beautiful partner, get married, and start a family of our own. Finally, we then retire with maybe 20 years to live if we're lucky. We're sold a dream at that young age that we need to have it all in this lifetime and that we need to accomplish this all. We're socially conditioned from a young age to think and act in a certain way. But we're not taught how to express ourselves emotionally, or to think creatively, or to take good care of our physical health, or even manage our mental health. And as children, we're not taught the core life skills to build that foundation of a happy future for ourselves. So if we take a look at spiritual awakenings, for example, I think I spoke about mine maybe in the first episode where my granddad died in 2019. So the spiritual awakening is the process that you go through when you discover who you kind of really are as a person, who you are on this earth, okay? And then up until now, we've been driven by what was told to us by our parents, our relatives, our teachers, or basically just society in general. But now when we go through our spiritual awakenings, we're waking up to this higher reality. We're realizing that, you know, we're much more than this physical body. We've got a higher purpose for serving and living. And that awakening shows us vividly that this life isn't just about us. It shows us that we're kind of one person undergoing this experience that we all go through at some point in our lives. So let's take for example if you choose to live in a house based on your idea of happiness. So if you're not spiritually awake, or spiritually woke as they say, your mind is going to be operating on the information that's been fed to you over the course of your life. And they say that your idea of happiness is based on the 5 closest people that you associate with in your day-to-day life. So that could be your partner, your parents, your relatives, your friends, or even your coworkers. And we know this, like, if you had 5 really negative friends and you hung around with them day in, day out, chances are you're gonna have a negative mindset because they are simply reaffirming it to you day in, day out. If you hung around with 5 millionaires, chances you're going to be a millionaire as well, because you're going to take away tips and tricks, tricks, and, you know, like all the habits that— and like the mindset of a millionaire. And then you too will become a millionaire. That's why people have, you know, like all these, um, what they called like them business mindsets, because when you hang around with like-minded people like that, obviously you're going to take in their information, you're going to become more like them as people. So when you make decisions based on the opinions of other people, the chances are that you'll be miserable throughout your entire life. You might end up buying that house that is much beyond your current financial bandwidth, and then you'll be stuck paying the monthly mortgage for at least half of your life. It could be half of your wage, for example. It's like the Instagram reality of what we see every day on social media. It's just full of people trying to impress other people they don't care about anyway. And if you take a look at my personal Instagram, @marttweedy, you'll see like, I used to live me life like that. But if you like scroll up once on my Instagram page, for example, you'll be back in like 2019 within a second. Because I barely post on there anymore because I do see it as a superficial kind of social media platform. Whereas Facebook is a lot more like friends and family, do you know what I mean? But Instagram is pretty much for anyone to look at and be like, "Oh, he's living his life like that." and I don't like that. Okay, so it's almost as though to keep up with that false identification, we make stupid on-the-spot decisions. And like I said, that's why I've stopped kind of using my Instagram as much. I just use, you know, the Connie Crystals Instagram for work. I don't really post on my personal Instagram. Um, I see some of the most intelligent and genius people going down that route as well. So when you're spiritually awake, you don't lose your identity. You don't accept ideas and things given to you by other people because you've got your own identity. You're no longer a slave of your mind. And that can leave us feeling quite alone and lonely by waking up. And that's what today's episode is all about, because you're no longer associating yourself with the masses of your, you know, your friends or your family or your coworkers. You're actually allowing yourself room for growth by personally letting your mind do its own thinking for a change. Does that kind of make sense to you? That's where today's episode is going. So, in fact, when we think about it, loneliness is kind of more widespread today than ever, ever before. In our modern world today, we stay virtually connected all the time, but I feel personally more detached from each other in real life than I ever have done before. And many people will, you know, they'll find themselves socially and emotionally lonely but few people actually know what spiritual loneliness is. And obviously since the pandemic, since like coronavirus and COVID and all that, all those government-imposed lockdowns that we had here in the UK, loneliness has actually reached new heights when you think about it. Social distancing, for example, that had us staying home to avoid unnecessary contact with other people. So there are 4 types of loneliness. So first you've got the social loneliness, and that's the most common type. You could be feeling socially lonely right now whilst you're sat in your house listening to this, bored. You can also experience it when you lack social connections or activities. And I went through this a lot during the pandemic, and I know it's something that my Nana suffers with because we all go and see her as family, but outside of the family, all of her friends are kind of, you know, they're all elderly and some of them are in care homes, some of them have died. She doesn't feel like she's got anyone outside of the family. But during the pandemic, I went through this a lot. Obviously, like most people, I was working from home for the NHS. I was getting out the house once a day to take the dog for his walk and then coming home to Johnny, and I was doing that 7 days a week. And I love Johnny and I love JJ, me little dog, but it got really lonely after a while, especially when we weren't, you know, allowed to go out and visit, like, people or have friends and family round to the house. In fact, sometimes even just going to the supermarket for food shopping felt like a real treat for me. How sad is that? So then you've got emotional loneliness as well, okay? So that's the type that doesn't necessarily like involve being alone or lacking connections. It could be that you have friends or family, but you feel emotionally disconnected from them, and that comes from a lack of understanding and kind of the ability— inability to relate to those people around you. Then you've got intellectual loneliness, and that's the inability to discuss things that feel important and interesting to you with other people. So for example, I shy away from this.

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Sometimes it might be like intellectual loneliness. If I go, I kind of gauge the audience first because I don't want to like start talking about, you know, like crystals and mindfulness and meditation. And everything else that I do, and like EFT and, you know, subliminals, because sometimes people glaze over straight away and they're like, okay, do you know what I mean? So I always gauge the conversation. Like if I go to the gym and I get talking to someone in a class, or I get talking to someone like on the treadmill next to us and stuff, and they're like, oh, what do you do? I'll put the feelers out there and I'll say, oh, I'm a well-being coach or something like that, you know what I mean? And then when we start talking about holistic well-being, it's a bit different. But that is intellectual loneliness. It's having the inability to discuss things that feel important and interesting to you personally with other people. And it's kind of similar to emotional loneliness. It can come from a lack of understanding on their part, but in an intellectual sense of it. So it's kind of like having a lack of intellectually compatible or like-minded people to share your interests and views with. But then you've got what I want today's episode to be mainly about, and it's what I went through and what many of you lot have gone through too, which is spiritual loneliness. And that's basically an overall feeling of detachment from everyone and belonging nowhere. Okay, so it's kind of feeling that your life is incomplete and it lacks meaning. It's like you've got a vague sense of longing, but you can't say what or who you long for, if that makes sense. And it might seem like, you know, life is just passing you by and the weeks are just whizzing by and everyone else is, you know, they're doing something, they've got plans. But it's things that you're a stranger to. Or you might feel disconnected from reality. You might feel clueless about life while everyone else kind of seems that they've got their shit together and they know exactly what they're doing or where they're headed. No matter what you do, where you are, or who you're with, it kind of feels as though it's not enough. It's as if you long for some unknown place, person, or thing, like there is something bigger, deeper, and more meaningful and your life just simply lacks it. And that's how I feel most of the time. So as I mentioned, my family didn't really get what I was doing when I first started with crystal healing and getting into all these spiritual practices. Mi nana, like I've said in past episodes, said, "You can't sell rocks." Do you know what I mean? And I'm like, "That's not what I'm doing." But you know what I mean? I always thought that my friends would get it, but they don't. And don't get us wrong, I've still got a small circle of friends that, you know, I meet up with every now and again. But it's almost like our whole friendship is based around going out drinking, 'cause that's all we ever do. Or we go to the cinema or something like that as a group. We don't really, like, go around each other's houses anymore like we used to in our 20s and stuff. And I've really cut down on alcohol over the last couple of years especially. I just feel that, you know, I'm not as productive in the days following a night out. Yes, I absolutely love a night out for someone's birthday, but I'm just not as productive in the days following a night out. And you know, those 4 to 5 hours out on the town, are they worth feeling like crap for 3 days? Yes, 3-day hangovers are a thing when you're getting old. Um, but do you understand what I'm saying? So I'm still in the group chat with my friends, I still love them, but we barely use that group chat anymore. And that might be because, you know, they've all got their own intricate lives with their own problems going on right now. But I see it as it's because it's kind of— I'm more on a journey of spirituality and that doesn't really interest them. But that's fine. Like I say, I've come to terms with that. Apart from maybe 3 of my friends, some of them haven't even been down the office to see what I've achieved. And at first I was a bit upset about that as well. But you can even see, like, when we go for food or something and I mention about what I'm up to at the minute with Cani Crystals, you can literally see their eyes starting to like glaze over. And I get it, because if someone started talking to, talking to me about, you know, football or cars or something I had no interest in, I'd probably do the same, to be totally honest. However, all of this said, there are ways to overcome this feeling, okay? So it's not all doom and gloom. There are ways to cultivate a greater sense of connection and belonging on your spiritual journey. And I know that we're all on this spiritual journey and we're all on it together, and it's so good that we've got this little community going together because this just helps us feel as though we're part of a group. You're all people listening to my podcast right now. We are part of that little canny crystals community, as you'd put it. So I think that one of the most effective ways to overcome spiritual loneliness is to connect with others who share your beliefs and values. So that can involve, you know, joining a religious or a spiritual organization. It could be attending a retreat or a workshop, or even just finding a group of like-minded individuals online. And like I say, I like to think that by creating Canny Crystals and having this podcast. That's my way of creating that kind of community spirit, because I bond with you a lot. I know some of you listen together in groups of friends, and then you talk about the episodes, and I love that. I bond with other podcasters as well, like I was saying earlier about Going to Happy Place with Emma and Fran. Spirituality to me is mainly based around community spirit. By surrounding yourself with people who understand and support your spiritual journey, you can then create that sense of community within yourself, and you kind of get that feeling of belonging, and that can help to take away those feelings of isolation and loneliness. And another powerful tool for, you know, overcoming spiritual loneliness is the practice of gratitude. So by focusing on the blessings and the abundance in your life, you can cultivate a sense of appreciation and connection to the universe, you know, that can help counteract feelings of disconnection or loneliness. So just taking time each day to reflect on what you're grateful for, you are cultivating a sense of awe and wonder for the beauty and the mystery of life. You can even do my 31 Days of Gratitude on cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk. Wehey! It's just £10 and it's a 31-day challenge where you get a 5-minute podcast every day and it really makes you think about things to be grateful for in your life, but it's areas that you wouldn't have necessarily thought about before. Because if I said to you, think of 10 things to be grateful for, you'd probably be like, grateful I've got a job, grateful I've got a house, grateful I've got family, grateful I've got friends. And that's great, but this is looking at gratitude on a whole other level. Gratitude is so overlooked, but trust me when I say it is so, so powerful. And another thing that you could do is to engage in spiritual practices, because when you engage in spiritual practices, you know, like prayer or meditation or rituals, That can really help that, or to like basically overcome those feelings of spiritual loneliness. And these practices can help you connect with something greater than yourself, and it can help to create a sense of purpose and meaning in your life. So try experiment with different practices, find what resonates for you, because that's what spirituality is all about. It's very subjective. It's finding what works best for you, what you resonate with, what you're going to carry forward. And then make them a regular part of your routine. Okay, you could even seek out a spiritual mentor. I'd like to think that, you know, people might see me as a spiritual mentor, and I am getting towards that level. And if you are struggling with spiritual loneliness, that can be helpful to, you know, find a spiritual mentor or a teacher who can kind of guide you on your path. And that's why I'm wanting to, you know, do this life coaching certification with Jude really soon, so that I can provide you all with the best wisdom, the best guidance, and kind of support you as you navigate the challenges and questions that arise on your spiritual or self-development journey. So basically, just look for someone who resonates with your values and your beliefs and who has experience and wisdom to share. And then finally, I think that one of the other things that you could do is connecting with nature, because that can also be a powerful way to overcome spiritual loneliness. Because spending time in natural settings, whether, you know, that's hiking in the mountains or simply sitting under a tree in a local park, It can help you feel a sense of connection and belonging to the natural world, and that can, you know, in turn help you connect with the universe and cultivate a sense of peace and fulfillment in your life. But spiritual loneliness can be a challenging experience, don't get us wrong. But here's the good thing: it's not one that you have to navigate alone, and that's the beauty of it. So by seeking out community, by practicing gratitude and spiritual practices, find yourself a mentor, connect with nature, you can overcome those feelings of isolation and you can cultivate that greater sense of connection and purpose in your spiritual journey. Just remember that everyone's spiritual path is unique, so what works for one person might not work for another, okay? So just be patient and compassionate with yourself as you explore and grow. It's like, like I said, out of my 10 close friends, I see one of them weekly. And a couple of them maybe once a month. The rest of them I haven't seen since New Year's Eve, and before that it was Johnny's birthday back in May. And yes, I know that that's partly to do with the fact that I'm busy all the time, and I get that, but it's also the fact that I just don't have as much in common with them anymore because some of them are still quite, you know, not negative as such, but they don't understand this self-development journey that I'm on. And some of them, like, even put down crystal healing and spirituality. Like, I've had people say to me, like, 'You don't really believe in all that yourself though, do you?' And I'm like, 'Well, yeah, I do actually.' Like, I feel like I've grown and I've changed, and as you grow and you change, you do outgrow certain people. And I get it, it's not for everyone. Like I say, none of my friends, as far as I'm aware, even listen to this podcast, for example. But that's okay, I'm not going to hold it against them. I feel like I've got a greater sense of belonging with you lot, and when I want to talk about all things spiritual, I'll go on my kind of crystals Instagram or TikTok and I'll see all your lovely comments and posts, and that makes me feel like I've got millions of friends. Okay, so if you're feeling a little bit of spiritual loneliness right now in your life, I just want you to know that you're not actually as alone as you probably think you are, because we're all going through this and we all feel this loneliness, and together we've all got each other as one giant spiritual community. Okay, so I really hope that that all helps someone feeling lonely and blaming spirituality on their loneliness, because I know a few people will go down their spiritual awakening path and they will get into their self-development journey, and then they're like, uh, it's too lonely, there's, there's no one to really talk to about it, and they'll just snap straight back into the life that they were. And then in 10 years' time, they'll have another spiritual awakening and really get it this time, and then they'll be like, oh, I've just wasted the last 10 years of my life when I could have been going through this journey now. Do you know what I mean? And that happens so frequently. So do not be like hard on yourself. Don't feel lonely. Don't blame spirituality for your loneliness. Let me know though if you've ever felt lonely because of heading down your own path and your own spiritual awakening. Okay, you can message me. You can message me on Instagram or TikTok. I'm @canny_crystals on both. And please, if you've enjoyed this episode or any previous episodes, you can also leave a review on whatever app that you're listening to. So if you listen to Spotify, you just scroll at the top, there's some stars, I think it's like 5 stars and you just press it, give whatever stars. If you're listening on Google or Amazon or Apple Podcasts, you can scroll to the top and click leave a review or click the star rating and then write. You can even leave a review on Audible these days. Like, isn't that amazing? But what that does is it really helps the episode kind of be seen by other people and it helps it move up the charts. It might take you 10 to 20 seconds, if that. Podcasting is free. I don't get paid to do any of this, like I mentioned before. And literally, I do it out of the goodness of me little heart. So please just show us some love. And if you have any ideas about future episodes of the pod, or, you know, there might be anything that you want me to talk about, there might be some burning questions that you have that you might think, oh, you've never covered this on the pod before, Mart, let me know. Okay, so with all that said, I hope that you all have a lush weekend, and I'll see you all next Friday for another episode of Tani Crystals, the podcast. Take care, guys.

Bye.

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Every style.

Every home.