088: Manifesting happiness

Hello and welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast. As you know by now, my name is Mart Tweedyedy, I am your host, and Right now I'm recording from home because I didn't really want to go down the office today because I'm going on me cruise tomorrow with Fran. So I didn't really want to go down the office because I've already kind of switched off from office mode and left that in Jade's capable hands. But I'm sat here right now in my house regretting every decision because my next-door neighbors, they've got a girl that's about 7 or 8 years old, and they've decided to get this huge party bus that is currently sat out the front of my house blasting every version, like Kidz Bop version, of every song you can hear. So I do apologize if you can hear kids screaming green, green grass right now. There's nothing I can do about it, unfortunately. But yes, this week I— oh my God, where do I start with this? So I went to adoption training, and this one was early permanence training. So it's basically because I'm wanting a baby. I mean, it's not that I don't want, like, an older child. It's just you want to form them attachments, don't you, from like a young age. So because I want a baby, we basically have to go through this special training called early permanence, which is basically fostering to adopt. So you're fostering the child from birth, basically, like the mother will give it up at birth, you foster it until the paperwork goes through, and then you adopt it. But it's kind of confusing as well because there's so many legalities around it that that child, you're just basically looking after that child until the paperwork goes through. So one of the things is what if the child goes back to the birth parents? And obviously that's in the, the best possible interest for the child, but obviously the training was like to kind of prepare us for that rehabilitation in case, like, because it's going to obviously feel like you've had a child for 6 to 9 months and then what if that child goes back to the birth parents? That you're going to feel like your child's died, basically, do you know what I mean? So I've been going through that, was very, very, very intense. And then to kind of relax at the weekend, my partner Johnny went back to Northern Ireland, so I've been single parenting the little dog all weekend. And I've been trying to pack my case and pack orders, and I just haven't had time to record this pod, so I'm doing it very last minute. So it might be a bit shorter than usual. However, I thought to myself, you know, I'm going away this week, I've gotten all myself prepared, I've packed my case now, I've I thought I'm gonna like bleach me hair, put some like some highlights in, you know, just so I'm like summer ready kind of thing. Because I always think when you've got blonde hair, it makes your skin look like more tanned as well. Anyway, I bleached me hair and I was just about to go live with my membership in Manifest with Mart on Saturday night, and I'd bought myself this toner that I used to use when I was a hairdresser called L'Oréal Color P01. If you're a hairdresser, you'll know about it. It makes your hair gray I love it, it's amazing. However, I opened up the box of P01, didn't even look at the tube, and there I am squeezing this tube into this bowl, mixing it up, and something just told us, like, intuitively to look at the back of the packet. So I looked at the back of the box and it's like, P01, yeah, absolutely fine. So I'm literally seconds from putting it on my hair and I caught sight of the back of the tube. They'd sent me black black. Can you imagine? I would have had to have done a Kim Kardashian, wouldn't I? I would have had to have gone from black to blonde overnight. Bloody hell, I nearly ended up just like canceling this cruise because I thought if I have to go away with black hair, bloody hell. Anyway, it hasn't gone black because obviously I didn't put it on, so I'm waiting for a toner. So I'm currently sat here with what can only be described as piss yellow hair. Um, you'll have probably seen it on my story, it's very, very yellow. I can't wait for this toner. I'm currently sat in a cap I don't even want the children outside to see me, me hair this yellow. Anyway, enough of that. Come tomorrow, I am going to be on my way to Lincoln to stay at Fran's house because we're flying from Birmingham Airport, so— and we are flying at like 8 o'clock, so we need to leave Fran's at about 4 o'clock in the morning. Um, but she's also going to have her 3 kids with her because she thought we were flying from Gatwick. So she's going to have her 3 kids when I land in Lincoln, and we're going to have to go on the drive down to London to drop her 3 kids off with their dad, and then to basically come back. And we're not going to get back about 10 o'clock at night, so we're going to have maybe 4 or 5 hours sleep, I think, by the time we've gassed on. We'll have time to sleep on the plane. But oh my God, I am so, so excited. This is like the first time I've got away since 2018. Like, I've had trips to Ireland, I've had trips to Spain to see Johnny's mom and dad, but I've not really like gone away since 2018, since Thailand. So I'm really, really excited for this. I know it's only a few days, but honestly it will fly by. But I'm just so, so excited to get away and just spend some time with Fran. So don't worry, because I've had a few messages off people saying, well, if you're going away, does that mean that, you know, your orders aren't going to be packed? But no, not at all. I've got Jade in the office. Jade is fantastic. She's packing all the orders. If you want anything off the website, don't forget you can use the discount code, which is the word PODCAST. You get 10% off everything site-wide. But yeah, Jade is packing orders. The only thing I'm doing is turning off next-day delivery, and that's just to, you know, stop the stress on Jade so she can just come in, pack orders, and crack on. And I also just wanted to use this opportunity just to quickly say Thank you all so much as well, because the last 2 or 3 episodes of this podcast have been going straight to number 1 in the Apple charts. So honestly, thank you, thank you, thank you so, so much. The podcast itself is sitting at number 4, I think, in the UK charts, but the episodes themselves— because there's like, you know, it's like a singles and an albums chart— but the episodes themselves, they're basically going to number 1 every week, and I'm just so, so grateful. So thank you so, so much. The only thing that makes you go higher in the actual chart like the overall podcast chart, is to leave a review. So please, if you haven't done so already, please leave a review. I read them all and I am so, so grateful for every single one. So this week on the pod, I wanted to talk to you about a book I've been reading. It's called "Let That Shit Go" by Nina Purewal and Kate Petru, I think it is. But yeah, it's called "Let That Shit Go" and it's basically learning how to declutter your mind to find true happiness, okay? So we all know that when we declutter things out of our house out of our home, out of our car, it makes you feel better about yourself, don't you? But if someone told you that you could unlock all the joy that life has to offer by simply cleaning out an overstuffed wardrobe in your house, would you do it? Of course you would. So I just want you to imagine if that wardrobe was your brain instead. So we have like our brain, it's overflowing with thoughts every single day, and all you have to do to find peace is to get rid of some of that shit. So that's the premise of the book. And it's basically sharing an approach to finding true happiness and fulfillment through mindfulness. Now, mindfulness, you might have heard of this. When I was in the NHS, um, I was actually a mindfulness teacher, and it's just learning to be in the present moment. Because they say if you think about your past, you're basically living with depression because you're depressed about everything that's happened in the past. Whereas if you're living in the future, you're quite anxious So you're thinking about things that might never happen, okay? So mindfulness is all about living in the present moment and just bringing yourself to the here and now, you know, listening to this podcast rather than doing a million other things. So there's all these different states of being, but they're all in your head, and you probably only need to drag them from under some of that clutter in your head. And mindfulness starts with awareness, okay? So taking stock of what is going on in your head right now. Or at any given moment. And one way to do this is to, you know, just pause, take a deep breath, and tune into your thoughts. Kind of like being a fly on a wall at a party and it's looking down. That's what's called your observer mind, okay? So you're kind of looking in at the situation. And you might have guessed, like, chatter is the first thing that you need to let go in your head because your conscious mind is constantly telling you things. And your logical observer mind, it can help you do just that. For example, you might be mentally like beating yourself up for eating, I don't know, like some huge dessert, but you're on a diet. Okay, so you can shut up your shaming, your chatty mind. You can shut all that right down with the reminder that what is done is done. You've ate it, you've enjoyed it, but in reality, it probably won't wreck your whole diet as long as you don't make that into a habit. So that practice will bring clarity to your thinking patterns. And that'll help you to cut out some of the noise and immediately create a clearer head for more work to come in. So something that I found really, really interesting about the book is one of the key messages was that self-love and authenticity will help you to let go of negative self-talk and find your true purpose in your life. So if you think back to moments in your early childhood, for example, when you felt, you know, relatively free from worry, just checking things out in nature, you know, building camps, going for walks, discovering your surroundings. You were completely fascinated with it all. So life has probably brought a load of crap to kind of tarnish that shiny sense of wonder in us all. So you just need to start the practice of remembering that kid as you go about your days. Like, how were you when you were a child? How carefree were you? And if you do this, especially when you catch your chatty mind saying shitty things to yourself, as most of us do, you'll be able to make yourself feel so much better about yourself. So what I often think is, ask yourself, like, would I say such nasty things to a young child that I say to meself? Hopefully not. Like, that's the standard that you've gotta follow with your self-talk. And it happens to me all the time. Like, I'll be thinking, you know, oh, you're not good enough. Oh, you can't do this. You're not able to do this. I was booked for that Stella McCartney talk and that's in 2 weeks' time. I haven't even done my presentation yet. And the chatty mind in my head is literally saying, pull out. You're not going to do this. You can't do this. But honest to God, you just need to shut that self-talk up. And another thing that you can learn is you can easily let go of a whole load of crap in your life by learning acceptance and taking perspective. Okay, so it doesn't mean like denying natural emotions like anger or frustration when people are being difficult, but just accepting them, because acceptance helps you to become a pro at how you manage your expectations and how you get real about what's completely out of your control. Okay, so it's totally fine to envision how you want things to be, and no one is telling you to lower your standards, but keep them while building in some flexibility to allow things to not always go according to plan, just know that they can still work out for the best. And you've just got to learn to see the difference between things that you can and cannot control and act accordingly. So if you grab a piece of paper or open the Notes app in your phone, just make a note of 5 things that are annoying you or pissing you off or stressing you out, okay? And then step back and just consider how many of those things are actually within your control. Like, it might be the weather, okay, but you can't control the weather, so cross that off. You can't do anything about that, okay? Desperately needing a holiday. You can plan one, leave it. You can't do much else about that. A friend might be ill or sick. Cross it off. It definitely sucks, but you can't change that. Are you overweight? Okay, you can maybe do something about that because you could go to the gym, you could start a healthy diet. So there are things that you can and cannot control. Does that kind of make sense? Just remove any thoughts about any—

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Thing that you cannot change from your worry loop. So now if you go back and you look at your list of the things that remain, and you do some more whittling down by adding the principle of perspective, just take a step back. View those problems in the bigger picture. View yourself from that fly on the wall's perspective, okay? So just take a step back, reevaluate how you feel about each one of those steps. So just by being, you know, mindful and self-loving and authentic, you'll have better control over your thoughts and emotions and actions in any circumstance or encounter. So you'll give yourself kind of that grace period while speaking from your place of truth. And you can extend that same grace to everyone else in your life as well. So you're just fully appreciating them for who they are. It might be with your partner, so you'll learn to see your differences as strengths and how to communicate more clearly. But that perspective can also improve how you relate to your parents, for example, even if it's been strained in the past. You'll have a new gaining of perspective on relationships with other family members and friends having adjusted your expectations and released those tendencies to change people. And that perspective can also be applied to your interactions on social media, for example, allowing you to view them in a more positive light. And that'll reduce the tendency to feel jealous by comparing your life to other people's highlight reels. It might even prompt you to share some realness that inspires and motivates people to be more authentic. But mindfulness practices, they help you to reframe almost all difficult situations by seeing people with more positive intent. So you're understanding that most people are making the most of whatever resources and knowledge that they have. And of course, one of the best things that you can do is to take that mindset to work with you because work is where we get more stressed. Okay. It's going to help us emerge as a stronger teammate and a leader by injecting that sense of peace into meetings, encouraging others, you know, staying focused overall by having cleared that clutter. The list goes on. The benefits of this goes on. So to achieve true happiness through mindfulness, you can, you know, you can set an intention. So clearly define your intention to cultivate happiness and well-being through mindfulness. You could write it down or repeat it to yourself regularly, but you're truly reinforcing your commitment to that practice, okay? And then, like I said, just try and practice some present moment awareness. So where are you at right now? What can you feel against your body? If you sat down, you might be able to feel the chair, you might be able to feel your feet on the ground, um, you might be able to feel air against your face. You know, what can you see? What can you hear? What can you smell? Use your senses, okay? But slow down and just fully immerse yourself in this present moment and just notice the details of your surroundings, the sensations in your body, the thoughts and emotions that come up into your head. But just allow yourself to fully experience every single moment without judgment or the need to change anything because everything is as it is. Okay, gratitude is another one because when we dedicate time each day to actively express gratitude by, you know, a gratitude journal or writing down 3 things that we're grateful for each day, we're able to reflect on the positive aspects of our life, our relationships, and our experiences. And as you do that, you allow yourself to genuinely feel the gratitude in your heart and in the present moment of being right here in the right now. And when you engage in self-compassion, you know, like practicing self-care and self-compassion as a regular part of your mindfulness practice, you're treating yourself with kindness and understanding and acceptance. So when you come to be faced with challenges or setbacks, you just need to offer yourself words of encouragement and support and just remind yourself that everyone goes through difficult times. Okay, another thing to do is to let go of all the attachment. So if you just recognize the kind of impermanence of life and just detach yourself from any outcomes or desires, instead of relying on external circumstances or possessions for happiness, just focus on cultivating that inner sense of contentment. Embrace the idea that happiness can be found in the present moment regardless of any external factors. Okay, you can find happiness in the here and now. And just observe and release any negative thoughts and emotions because they do come up from time to time. But just develop that skill of, you know, observing your thoughts from that fly on the wall's perspective. Observe your emotions without getting caught up in them. It is hard to do at first, but the more that you practice mindfulness, the more that you'll be able to get into that habit. When negative thoughts arise, just acknowledge them without judgment. Let them pass like clouds in the sky. Use your breath as an anchor to return to the present moment. Just allow yourself to release any negative energy. What I tend to do is I follow the breath. So I follow it in through my nose, filling up my chest. I can feel it going down my throat, filling up my chest into my lungs. And then as I breathe it out, I feel the cool air coming back out through my mouth. That really helps to anchor you in the present moment. And engage in positive self-talk. Like I say, cultivate that habit of positive self-talk. Become aware of any self-critical or negative thoughts and consciously replace them with positive and affirming statements. Because when you encourage yourself and acknowledge your strengths and celebrate your achievements, no matter how small they are, you're doing yourself a service. Basically, you're affirming to yourself that you are better than this, and that's going to put you in a happier place. And then the last thing is to kind of practice some love and kindness meditation. So just dedicate regular time to practice that love and kindness to yourself. Begin by extending your love to other people. Begin by extending that kindness and that compassion towards yourself, and then expand these feelings outwards towards others, including your loved ones, your acquaintances, your friends, and even challenging individuals— people it might be that you work with, like colleagues that you don't really get on well with. Because as you generate these positive emotions, you're going to visualize them enveloping, like, and radiating basically outwards, creating that ripple effect of happiness and well-being. Okay, but it is a continuous journey, and just remember that. So just be patient and gentle with yourself as you develop your mindfulness practices. Embrace the process and trust that over time mindfulness will help you to cultivate a greater sense of happiness, peace, and fulfillment in your life. And you know, if you were wanting to use crystals to help you find happiness in your life, if you head to the website and type in happiness in the search description box, you'll find some crystals that can help you to support that goal. And I think one of the, the best crystals for bringing about happiness has to be citrine. It's also known as the stone of abundance, but it's vibrant yellow. It resembles the warmth and radiance of the sun, and it's believed to attract prosperity and success and joy. Okay, but citrine is said to inspire a positive mindset. It boosts your self-confidence and it encourages gratitude. Okay, so that kind of fosters a sense of, like, happiness and fulfillment in your life. Another is rose quartz, as you know, the stone of love. That's the pink one. It's associated with promoting self-love and compassion and harmony, okay? It's believed to open the heart chakra, so that allows for the free flow of love and joy in your heart. And then we've got amethyst, which is the purple one, and that's, like, known for spiritual growth and tranquility. But it's also believed to calm the mind and alleviate stress and enhance that spiritual awareness, leaving you in that happy state. And then something I always say is to use clear quartz, because clear quartz is referred to as the master healer, but it is believed to amplify all positive energy within you. So that kind of promotes that clarity, and it facilitates that emotional healing within you, and it purifies and aligns the chakras. Okay, so it'll truly uplift the spirit, and it'll promote positivity and instill sense of joy and happiness. And like I say, you can get them on the website if you head to cannycrystals.co.uk, type in the word podcast in the checkout under the discount code section, and you get 10% off all your orders as well. So I hope that was a kind of a whistle-stop tour of how you can use manifestation, mindfulness, and crystal healing to basically bring about your best self through happiness, peace, and tranquility. If you have enjoyed this episode, please feel free to leave a review And I know that we have loads of listeners that are listening right now that don't even follow me on Instagram. What are you doing with your life? So I am @cannycrystals on Instagram. Go and drop me a follow. Um, you can also find me on TikTok. I'm @cannycrystals on there. I'm on Facebook. Go and give me a follow on there. I really would appreciate it. And I will see you all next Friday. I don't know what I'm going to have to do about next Friday's episode. I might have to record it with Fran on the ship. Who knows? I've not even planned this, but yeah, we'll see what happens. But I hope that you all have a lovely week. Make sure that you follow me on Instagram because I'm bound to be posting every minute of every day our little adventure around the Med. Sure that you'll see all the posts anyway about it, but yeah, have a lush week everyone, and I'll see you all next Friday for another episode of Candy Crystals the Podcast. Thanks very much guys, bye!