117: Healing your inner child

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Wayfair, every style, every home. Hello everyone and welcome back to Connie Crystals, the podcast. As you know by now, I'm Mart Tweedy, I'm your host, and before I even start this week, if you've listened to the podcast ever before and you've not left a review or shared it to your Instagram story tagging us, what are you doing with your life? Please, please, please go and do this right now as you're listening. So this week has been quite stressful. I had me little baby doggy to the vet for an x-ray on his leg on Tuesday this week. We think he's developed arthritis. It's just suddenly come on and he's really, really struggling to run and jump at the minute, and being a Jack Russell, that's 95% of what he does. So that was quite stressful for us, you know, taking him in as he had to be anesthetized and put to sleep to have the X-ray so that he would lie still. That cost us about £600 just for the pleasure. Bloody hell. And then I've also been baby prepping this week. It's finally starting to feel real. I went online, I got a cot, a mattress, waterproof bedding, you know, all the essentials like nappies, wipes, sleepsuits, hats, everything you can think of. And when I was doing that, I just thought about how grateful I am for the internet. Like, I know this might sound like such a soppy and cheesy thing to say, but how truly thankful I am that I could just click a few buttons and, you know, have all of this baby stuff delivered to me house. It made me think of my mom having me 36 years ago like, I know I don't look that old, but yeah, she would have had to have, you know, headed out of the house and buy all that stuff manually. It just made me so, so grateful for the ease and all the things that make our lives easier in modern times. Even in the olden days, you know, there were things like baby monitors. Nowadays you can just use your phone with a dog camera. Random, but there we go. It's so weird as well because although we went through a year of training with the adoption agency I kind of feel like I don't know anything about, you know, feeding a baby, holding a baby, temperature of rooms, temperature of water in the bath, how much or how often to feed them, how to wrap a sling, all that jazz. I'm actually considering, you know, booking myself onto an antenatal class just to learn some stuff. I've been reading loads and loads of books, but yeah, it's one thing actually reading about it than putting something into practice as well. And I spoke to Fran the other day, Francesca Amber, from Love Attraction Changed My Life, and I learned more in that couple of hours talk than I have done in the last year in terms of looking after a baby. I'm also in a baby group with a few other business owners, and Claudia, who's been on the podcast before, she's in there, and she was telling me so, so much. So I'm just so grateful that I've got these women in my life that are able to share this wisdom and able to share this knowledge, because it is so, so weird being a first-time parent. But yeah, this time next week I'll more than likely have some baby news. That is very, very exciting to me. Prepare for lots of baby spam. And in preparing for the baby as well, I've been doing a lot of reading about things that you should and shouldn't say to children because this is quite big for me, you know, like the whole imparting limiting beliefs upon a child. It made me question a few of my parent friends about some of the things that they do and some of the things that they don't say to their kids. So I thought, you know, I'm gonna grab myself a book on it. Last week, and I started reading, I think it's called— where is it? There it is. Inner Child Healing by Melina Harrett. I think that's how you pronounce her name. And it really inspired me to do today's episode all about healing your inner child. So Google explains inner child work as— let me get Google up, where is it? Therapeutic practice that focuses on nurturing and healing the inner child, an aspect of a person's psyche that holds the emotions, memories, and experiences from their childhood. So basically, the concept of the inner child, that's rooted in psychological theories that recognize that adults carry with them all the emotions and all the memories of their childhood. So I'm sure you all do as well. Like, I know I definitely do. I'm not saying, you know, it's always bad stuff that you remember, and for some people it will be, but your inner child holds on to everything. And that aspect of our consciousness, that's often referred to as the inner child. And that can influence adult behavior. It can affect your decision-making and your emotional well-being. If it makes it easier for you, and this is what I do, the inner child can be visualized as a direct representation of our childhood self, you know, embodying that innocence, the joy, the trauma experienced during those younger years. So when I see my inner child, for example, I'll picture myself around maybe 5 to 6 year old, I think, and I can literally see myself at that age. I'm in bright yellow pajamas. I've got Donald Duck all over them. I've got blonde curly hair. I've got rosy red cheeks, little milk teeth, and even just visualizing myself at that age, that helps me carry out this important inner child work because I've physically got something tangible to lock onto in my mind. So if I asked you right now, what does your inner child look like? What would you say? Is there a specific age that you're taken back to? Is there a specific memory that you're instantly transported back to? Can you see that wild hairstyle you had when you were younger? How old are you? What are you wearing? What do you look like? What do you sound like? Use those questions to make up your younger self, just to depict your inner child, because trust me, that is going to make this whole episode make sense. And you know, this whole exercise of healing your inner child, it's going to make it a lot easier to do. So you might be thinking, you know, what does inner child work have to do with the Law of Attraction and, you know, manifestation and all that jazz? So trust me when I say that, you know, it is so, so closely related to manifestation and, you know, releasing those limiting beliefs because of its deep focus on understanding and healing past traumas and all that emotional experience as well from childhood. Because these early experiences are often what shape our subconscious mind, and that in turn, that's going to influence our beliefs and our behaviors and our ability to manifest our desires in adulthood as we are right now. So if you've not already, go back and listen to one of me old podcast episodes. I can't remember which number it is, but it's about identifying and releasing your limiting beliefs because this ties in perfectly with all of that shadow work. So let's speak about limiting beliefs, you know, childhood experiences, for example, because many limiting beliefs originate in childhood. For instance, if a child constantly hears, you know, that they're not good enough, they might grow up with this deep-seated belief that everything they do is inadequate. It's that simple. Imagine if your parents brought you up, for example, and they just constantly said to you on a daily basis, "You're amazing," or "You can do anything you want," or "Anything is possible." You would grow up with that belief. Do you know what I mean? You would grow up feeling that you could, you could literally conquer the world. And the same is true on the flip side. So if they said to you mean things like, "You'll never amount to anything," you're pathetic, you're not worthy. Firstly, they need that kid taken off them for a start, but secondly, that child would grow up thinking that all of this was true about themselves. Have you ever seen that film Matilda? Like, it's one of my all-time favorite films, but in it, like, Matilda, she's adopted and she, like, locks herself in a room and stuff because her dad is always telling her, like, you'll never amount to anything, you're worthless, you're scum, and all that. It is literally that same message, apart from in Matilda's case she turns it around and somehow develops all these psychic telekinetic powers and, you know, gets her revenge. Anyway, we're going off on a tangent, but that's why inner child work, you know, digging deep into uncovering all of this from our past, that'll help us to get those limiting beliefs out of our minds and seeing what is truly achievable in our lives. So when we engage with the inner child, we can uncover and understand these deep-rooted beliefs that are formed during childhood. And inner child work involves healing all those past traumas and emotional wounds. And that process often leads to, you know, the identification and release of limiting beliefs that are tied to these early experiences. And all it takes is self-reflection. We can start to replace those negative limiting beliefs with more positive and empowering ones. So we know manifestation often requires, you know, aligning our subconscious beliefs with our conscious desires. So when we heal the inner child, that's going to align these aspects because the subconscious is no longer hindered by all those negative beliefs rooted in our childhood. Does that make sense? Like, all of this work can lead to such a positive and changed mindset, and a healed inner child can then contribute to a more positive outlook and high self-esteem. And that's obviously essential for effective manifestation. So inner child work promotes self-discovery. It helps us to understand, you know, our true desires and aspirations. And they are things that might have been suppressed due to childhood conditioning. And I honestly think that it's this newfound clarity that can aid in more focused and authentic manifestation efforts. So the way we talk to ourselves, that's often a reflection of our internal beliefs. So when we heal that inner child, that can transform all that negative self-talk into a more supportive and nurturing dialogue. And then better self-talk will then lead to increased confidence, and that'll lead us to an increase in our ability to manifest our goals and dreams. So inner child work is crucial for so many reasons. In fact, in Denise Duffield-Thomas's Money Bootcamp, we even do a section on forgiveness work where she'll look at cutting ties with all the limiting beliefs that our inner child brings into our daily lives. And many adults still carry those unresolved traumas from their childhood. So inner child work, that's going to help address these issues. And believe me, They might be affecting current relationships, self-esteem, emotional health. They can be in any area of your life. And this practice can lead to, you know, greater emotional balance by addressing those suppressed emotions from our childhood. We know fine well that if we work through something, it won't have as big of an emotional charge afterwards. So when we heal that inner child, we are going to improve our interpersonal relationships. As many relationship issues actually stem from those unresolved childhood experiences. Like, did you know that? It can also facilitate a deeper understanding of ourselves and lead to personal growth and development. So with all that said, how do we work on healing our inner child? There's some common methods that include things like therapy, for example. That's one of the most standard routes, yeah, where professionals, therapists, will, you know, they're going to guide us through processes such as regression therapy, talk therapy, CBT if you've heard of that. But there are so many other ways, such as, you know, journaling, for example, writing letters to or from your inner child, because that can help in understanding and nurturing that aspect of ourselves. Then there's meditation and visualization. That's another extremely powerful way of conversing with that inner child within. Some of you might have heard of art therapy, like, you know, drawing painting, or music, because they can all be a medium to connect with and express that inner child's emotions. And one way that I absolutely love to work with my inner child is to treat it. Now, this sounds absolutely ridiculous, but once a month I do something that soothes my inner child. Thinking back to like 5 minutes ago when I asked you what your inner child looks like, and being at that age, what would they have absolutely loved nothing more than doing back then? Just think of the first thing that comes into your head. Being that age, what would they absolutely have loved nothing more than doing back then? And I'm not saying, you know, go and book yourself into a soft play and roll around in a ball pit, but was there a part of your inner child that loved nothing more than to go to the beach or to just sit and eat jelly and ice cream while you watch a film? Or maybe it's to watch your favourite childhood TV show Like, for me, it's watching Homeward Bound. Can anyone remember that? With the two dogs and the cat? They get lost in the outback and somehow find their way home. Very unrealistic, but apparently it's a real story. But it has me in tears every time I watch it. Anything that's going to feed your inner child and soothe the way they feel inside, that can really help to soothe all those limiting beliefs because your inner child is satisfied. Just in December— well, in October, we watched Hocus Pocus. I cried all the way through. In December, we watched The Grinch. I cried all the way through. And it's because, I don't know, it might be just a bit that it's a bit nostalgic, do you know what I mean? But it's honestly soothing my inner child. Anything that's going to feed your inner child and soothe the way that it feels inside, that can really help to soothe all the limiting beliefs because your inner child is satisfied. So one Sunday a month, usually on the last Sunday of every month, I whack an old film on that takes me back in time mentally. I'll listen to '90s music. I buy myself a pack of Custard Creams or Penguins from the shop, and I'll make meself a cup of tea, and I'll dip every single biscuit in me tea, usually eating the full packet in the process, mind. But sometimes I'll take one of me nieces or nephews to the coast. I'll go on the 2-pence machines with them. I enjoy it more than they do. Anything that's going to bring your inner child out to play. So what can you think of right now that is super playful? Something that you loved to do or something that you love to eat or something that you love to listen to or play with. Go and do that. One day a month is more than enough and your inner child will really, really appreciate you getting playful and joyful and, you know, conversing with them and they'll appreciate you doing so. And the benefits of doing all of this are amazing. Like, you will get such an emotional release. By letting that inner child come out to play, it allows for the release of all that pent-up emotion that leads to emotional catharsis. And it can also build like emotional resilience and the ability to handle life's challenges more effectively. And when we reconnect with the inner child, that can also reignite that sense of joy and wonder and creativity that we often lose once we're in adulthood. So inner child work can be challenging and it often requires, you know, revisiting some painful and traumatic memories. Don't worry about that. Like I say, that's all part of the process. But it is essential to undertake this journey in a safe, supportive environment because it's a process that requires patience and persistence as well, because you won't be able to heal everything all in one go. So with all that said, how do we do all of this and how do we heal that inner child? So I've got a few steps written down here. My first step would be around acknowledgement and awareness. So I want you to identify your childhood wounds. Begin by reflecting on any childhood experiences that come up for you. Acknowledge any trauma, any neglect, or any unmet emotional needs from those years, and then try to have that level of understanding and awareness of, you know, how these childhood experiences have impacted your adult life. That could include your behaviors, your beliefs, and your emotional responses. The second would be around self-compassion and acceptance. So practice that self-compassion on yourself. Treat yourself with kindness and understanding. Acknowledge that your childhood experiences were not your fault. Accept your past and recognize that while you can't change it, what you can do is change your response to it. My third step is around inner child communication, and by that I mean dialogue with your inner child. This can either be through meditation or journaling, but try and engage in a dialogue with that inner child. Ask what they need. And I know this sounds weird, but try to listen to their responses. Visualize meeting your inner child. Offer them comfort and support and understanding and protection. Imagine sitting yourself in a room and then your inner child, that version of you, they walk in and they sit on a chair in front of you. Ask them what they need from you. Ask them what you can do right now to soothe them. My fourth tip is to do with emotional expression and release. So express your emotions, like allow yourself to feel and express those emotions that you're your inner child holds, whether that's through crying, journaling, art, or movement. This might sound mad, but when I watch childhood TV shows like Buffy the Vampire Slayer or Charmed, I know what's going to happen because I've seen them all a million times, but you can guarantee I will cry at every single episode. And I do think it's probably because of nostalgia, but at the same time, I just let me inner child take over. So I took me mam to see Steps with me back in 2017, I think it was. For those of you outside the UK, Steps were a UK, you know, boy-girl band that were quite successful. They released cheesy pop music, basically. But when I took me mam— and can I just say, the only reason that I took me mam was because none of me friends would come. Thank you. So when the lights went down and there was just me and me mam in the crowd, we were right near the front, the show was just about to start, and I looked up at my mom and she burst out laughing at us because I was streaming with tears down my cheeks. I just basically let all of my emotional expression come out and just released it all rather than having it pent up inside of me. It's all about creating or finding that safe space where you feel comfortable expressing these emotions. My next tip, what is this, number 5, is to reparent yourself. Meet those unmet needs. Identify what your inner child needed but didn't actually receive in the past. Find ways to fulfill those needs now. Like, were you not allowed to eat fish finger sandwiches as a kid? Were you not allowed to watch a certain program as a kid? Do it now, but do it for your inner child. The next tip is around forgiving your past. So when you're ready, work towards forgiving those who may have even hurt you in your childhood. Understand that, you know, this is a process and it's for your healing. It's not for excusing their actions. Did one of your childhood friends absolutely fuck you over? Did your parents say something that you've never, ever forgotten? If you've done my Manifesting Money Masterclass over at Connie Crystals Academy, you'll know that I had to do a lot of forgiveness work to my old headteacher because she repeatedly called me out for having a poor family with not a lot of money. But it's not all about just forgiving others. You've got to forgive yourself for any ways that you might have responded to your pain that you now regret as well. My next tip, I think it's number 7, is to create new beliefs. So challenge those negative beliefs within you. Yeah. Replace those limiting beliefs that developed in your childhood with those empowering beliefs that support your well-being and goals. Use positive affirmations to reinforce these new beliefs, just like you would use them usually. And don't forget to build those support networks of supportive relationships. You know, surround yourself with people who support your healing journey. Engage with support groups or communities that understand and encourage your healing process. And then my last tip is just to ensure that this is an ongoing practice. And, you know, practice patience within yourself. Consistency, as usual, is key. So healing that inner child is an ongoing process. It requires consistent effort and practice. So have that patience with yourself. Be patient with yourself because healing is not linear and it might take some time. But overall, healing that inner child is a deeply personal and transformative journey, and it will require patience and compassion. So when you address those wounds of your inner child, you can unlock a more fulfilling, emotionally balanced, and authentic life.. And I'd say that, you know, every step forward is a significant achievement in your journey towards healing and self-discovery. And that's about it on inner child healing. I don't have much else to say on the matter. I really hope that you enjoyed this episode and it landed exactly where it needed to land. Like I said, this only came about because I was reading a book on it. Um, just with everything going on this last week, it was really hard for me, uh, think of, um, kind of a subject for this podcast episode. And it was just by chance that I read that book and I thought, hmm, I'm going to do a podcast episode on this. I don't think I've ever talked about inner child healing. So if you have any ideas for future episodes or anything that you'd like to hear me talk about, feel free, drop me a DM on Instagram, Facebook, TikTok, or you can drop me an email at info@cannycrystals.co.uk. And yeah, if you enjoyed this episode, please leave me a review on whatever app you're listening on. Please also screenshot this episode, whack it on your stories on Instagram. I would love to share you all on Friday listening along on my story as well. You can tag me, I am @cannycrystals on Instagram, TikTok, Facebook. Go and drop me a follow. If you would like to pick up any crystals or self-development courses, just remember there is a 10% discount code. It is the word podcast, so P-O-D-C-A-S-T It is still available across all purchases at cannycrystals.co.uk or cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk. Both are available. I'm off to build this cot that's just arrived this morning, so wish me luck. And on that note, I will see you all next Friday for another episode. Thanks so much for listening, everyone. Bye!

You wanna get your backyard summer ready, but you don't wanna break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July Clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget. Plus surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home.