145: Fake it 'til you make it

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Hello everyone, and thanks so much for joining me again for another episode of the pod. As you know by now, my name is Mart Tweedy, I am your host, and this week I've had an incredible experience that I want to quickly talk about before diving deep into the main episode. So one of my business besties messaged me last week to say that she had been to this incredible woman up here in Newcastle, and that she'd gone into quite a lot of detail giving us some intuitive guidance, but before and after a Reiki session, and it was all spot on and relevant to what she was going through. So obviously, as soon as I heard this, I had to get this woman's details, and I dropped her a text, you know, because I really, really didn't want her to know anything about me, okay?

So I even said that my name was Martin, my Sunday name. I never say Martin, I always say Mart, but I thought if someone Googles Mart Newcastle, I might come up on something, do you know what I mean?

So anyway, I text this woman and the first thing that she texts back was, "I'm seeing crystals. I've asked the universe to send me someone who knows all about crystals and I'm being told that you're the person." How fucking weird is that? So anyway, I booked this appointment with her, which was around £40, so not too bad. And she continued to text me a few things, which at first, at first I thought they were a little odd, but then I realized that they all made perfect sense.

So the first thing that she told me was that I had low salt in my diet and I was like, Okay, I'm coming for Reiki, not dietary advice.

But then she said, because the salt is low, I'm feeling a little burnt out. Then she went on to say that I had problems with me feet, which I did and have done for probably the last month or so. I'd been having quite a bad pain under me big toe on the bottom of me feet.

So I was like, okay, I'm listening.

She then advised me that I was to say no to someone at least once a day until she saw me and not to judge meself for saying no. So I was like, what could this mean? Anyway, every day until I saw her, sure enough, there I am faced with a question like, do you want to do X, Y, and Z? And sure enough, I just said no, it's not in alignment with me.

And I kind of felt guilty for it until I remembered what she had said.

So she told us as well that I needed to continue sleeping on a grounding mat, which I'm already doing, and that she was told that I needed to sleep with a black crystal by my feet. So anyway, I grabbed me tourmaline for grounding and protection, and I popped it at the bottom of me bed that night, and I climbed in. And guess what? The pain in my feet has gone. I'm shook. Honestly, I'm shook.

So I went to her house earlier today anyway, and oh my God, it was unreal.

So it wasn't so much as like traditional Reiki, because traditional Reiki, you know, I've spoke about before where the healer would put the hands over the top of your body and just make their way down, and they usually put a blindfold on you and some nice music and stuff like that.

9 times out of 10 I'll fall asleep, but it is nice and you feel like the energy is kind of moved around your body so that when you kind of take the blindfold off at the end, you feel rejuvenated and refreshed. This wasn't like that.

So this woman actually worked in the NHS as a nurse. So as soon as I lay down on the bed, she put her hands directly onto my stomach and she went, "Oh, you've got diverticulitis." And I was like, "Sorry, what's that?" And she went, "Have you got problems with your bowels?" 'Now if you've listened to last week's episode, you know that the answer to that question is yes, I do have problems with my bowels.' So she went, 'When it comes out—' sorry guys, I know you have to listen to this— but she said, 'When it comes out, is it yellow and watery?' And I was like, 'Yes, it's yellow and watery.' She went, 'You've got diverticulitis.' And she said to me that she can see inside of people's bodies, and whenever she saw patients, she would always say to them, 'You've got X, Y, and Z wrong with you.' they would go for referral after consultation after meeting, and 9 times out of 10, it would come back with exactly what she had told them was wrong with their bodies.

So I was like, okay, I am listening to this.

So I need to book in with my GP ASAP because she said that this all stems from daddy issues. And I was like, what? What do you mean it all stems from daddy issues? She said anything that goes wrong in your stomach stems from daddy issues. Now, I haven't spoke to my dad in—

I'm going to guess it's around 18, 19 years, basically.

And she said that I was carrying a lot of guilt because I was blaming myself, that it was my fault. And I kind of do, in the back of my mind.

My subconscious probably thinks that, you know, my dad fell out with me because I came out. Um, in actual fact, it probably wasn't because of that, you know what I mean? But that's what I'm blaming because it was round about the time that I did actually come out. So I just thought yeah, I do kind of blame myself for that.

And she said, okay, I'm also feeling a lot of lower back pain.

And I went, yep, I've got sciatica. Okay.

And then she touched on my knee and she said, this right knee is causing you a bit of jip as well.

And I was like, yep, it has been for the last month or so.

Every time I go and do CrossFit or something like that, it plays up, and I have one good session and then the rest of the week is just crap because I'm recovering. And she said, it's all linked to the bowel.

And she said to me, just like I would advise my members as well, write your dad a letter.

We don't have to send it, but just write down on paper every single thing, every single emotion, every single situation, every single frustration that you have in your body about your dad.

Bring it with you to the next session and we'll burn it together and release it. And I was like, I'm gonna fucking do this.

I am going to do this 110%.

So anyway, I'm gonna go back and see her again, maybe next week, maybe the week after. She said a lot of other stuff as well, which I won't go into on the pod, but maybe I will one day.

Maybe I will one day.

Maybe I'll get her on the pod and she can describe it herself.

But she was talking to me about my angels and how they have me wrapped up in a cocoon. She was also mentioning a few other things about my family. She mentioned lots of things about Johnny.

Which were absolutely spot on and about his family.

And I was like, this woman is batshit crazy, but I love it. I honestly love it.

So anyway, I messaged Fran on the way home and I just basically told her what had happened and where I'd been and stuff like that.

And she has got ulcerative colitis.

Like, it's not a secret. I'm not like divulging her medical history here. She has ulcerative colitis. She talks about it quite openly and freely.

And she was on medication for a while for it as well.

And I think she's on lifelong medication, actually, come to think of it.

Anyway, I said to her, I was like, 'When did your ulcerative colitis start?' And guess what?

It started around the same time that she started having issues with her dad.

How weird is that? Like, I always knew that the mind, the body, and everything was linked, but to hear it firsthand and to hear about it all being linked through the gut, through the stomach, I find that fascinating.

I absolutely find that fascinating. So I am going to make a GP referral tomorrow because she actually recommended me a really good gastroenterologist in Newcastle, and she said, don't let them fob you off, make sure you get a referral to this person here, and basically they will sort you out.

And once your stomach is sorted out, you'll get back down to the weight that you want. You'll also get rid of that dodgy knee, you'll not have an issue with your foot pain anymore, you'll not have any lower back pain, and your skin conditions will sort themselves out as well.

So what have I got to lose? At the end of the day, I'm gonna go for it. But yeah, I just found it absolutely amazing. If anyone wanted details and you are living in Newcastle, drop me an email because I will quite happily pass you her details. She lives in Blyth in Newcastle. Um, honestly, best thing I've ever done. I've already recommended it to like all of my business besties, my best friend Nikki and everything, so everyone's getting booked up with her. She was incredible. Honestly, some of the stuff that she told me, I have never told anyone.

That's how good she was.

Anyway, enough about me and what I've been up to.

Let us get on with this week's episode, okay? So I was looking back at the last 6 months of the year earlier this week and just kind of what I'd been able to achieve through all of these incredible opportunities that I've had. And I particularly looked back to 2 or 3 years ago when I had ran a little crystal masterclass in my friend's gym studio. Now I charged £30 each for the tickets for that, okay. We split it between us, me and her, and 12 people attended at full capacity. 12 people at full capacity. And I thought that was a lot, okay. I felt like when I ran that little class, I really had no idea what I was doing.

So although I knew what I wanted to cover and what I wanted to talk about, I had never run a class like that in front of real people. I'd run a couple of masterclasses online where like 3 or 4 people had attended, but I specifically remember feeling so out of my depth when it came to this little Crystal Masterclass face-to-face.

And then to talk on stage in front of 700 people at the Barbican last year, and all those people at Happy Place Festival a couple of weekends ago, it just made me really think about how I got here and how I arrived at where I am today. And I'm going to share a little secret here that you might have heard before, which is to fake it until you make it, okay? So success for me 10 years ago would often feel out of reach. And I'm sure there'll be a lot of you out there right now thinking, you know, "I feel like that now." I feel you 110%. But the principle of fake it till you make it has almost emerged for me as quite a powerful tool for achieving my goals. So if we break it down, it's rooted in the belief that by acting as if you already possess the qualities or achievements that you want, you can then bring them into reality. And that theory intersects seamlessly with the practice of manifestation. So I want to look at the synergy between these two concepts, you know, the fake it till you make it theory and manifestation as a whole, okay? Because once we start leveraging them both together, we can then transform our lives and achieve our dreams. So the idea of fake it till you make it, it just involves adopting all the behaviors, all the attitudes, and all of the mindset of the person that you want to become. So it's about embodying your future self right now in this moment in time, and that's going to create a psychological shift that propels you towards your goals. So when you When you fake it, you start behaving as if you already have achieved what you desire, and that can involve, you know, dressing the part, speaking confidently, or even adopting habits that align with your envisioned success. For example, if you want to be a successful entrepreneur, you could begin by networking with industry leaders. You could make decisive business moves. You could dress in a way that reflects your professional dreams. Does that make sense? It's not about deceit, but it's about proactive self-transformation. And when we consistently act in accordance with our goals, we then signal to our brain and to other people that we're ready to step into that role. It's like when I ask you to visualize and bring that emotion into it, you know, it's the same kind of thing. Faking it works exactly the same. Instead of visualizing it, however, you're just living it in real life, so it's still going to work for you. So research in psychology, when I was having a look at all the research and stuff that's been done about this, it basically suggests that our thoughts and our actions can significantly influence our reality. So, you know, cognitive behavioral theories, they highlight how our beliefs shape our experiences, and when we alter our self-perception, we can change our trajectory. So when we behave confidently, even if we don't feel it initially internally, our brain begins to accept that behavior as a new norm., and then that'll gradually make us more genuinely confident. And also, when I was doing a bit of research about this, I was looking at like, you know, historical context to this as well, because this is not something that's just like popped up because of The Secret or the magic or manifestation or law of attraction, blah blah blah. This has been around for so long in personal development. Like the Stoics, for example, they practice the concept of acting in accordance with virtue. Even if they didn't feel virtuous. So they believed that by embodying the traits of wisdom, courage, self-discipline, they could become genuinely virtuous over time instead.

So in modern times, you know, we've got people like what they call Tony Robbins, um, Mel Robbins— you know, they're not related, by the way, Tony and Mel—

um, but different other motivational speakers that often advocate for adopting successful behaviors and mindsets before they naturally arise.. So it's kind of like fake it till you make it has been popularized in loads of different fields, including in business, psychology, sports.

It is literally everywhere.

So if we go back to the concept of manifestation, hopefully we all know what this is, but manifestation is basically the practice of bringing something tangible into your life through intentional thought, belief, and action.

Okay, so it's about aligning your energy with your desires.

So it involves visualizing your goals, using positive affirmations, and just maintaining that mindset that your goals are achievable. But it requires a deep belief in the possibility of your desired outcome and the commitment to take consistent action towards it. It's not just about like wishful thinking or anything like that. It's more of a dynamic process that combines intention with action. And when we clearly define what we want and we focus our energy on it, we set the stage for manifestation to happen. Okay, so recent studies in neuroscience support the idea that our brain's neuroplasticity allows us to rewire our thoughts and our behaviors. Now, visualization and affirmations can both do this, okay? They can both reshape our neural pathways. And when we consistently visualize our goals or we repeat affirmations, we just strengthen those neural connections that are associated with those thoughts. That makes it more likely to influence our behavior on the outside. Okay, so what we need to do really is to learn how to embody your future self by adopting those habits, those attitudes, and those behaviors of the person that you want to become. So for example, if you aspire to be a successful entrepreneur, like I say, start networking, start speaking, start making decisions like one. To effectively act as if, you need to identify all the qualities, all the behaviors of your future self and start incorporating them today in your daily life. So it might involve dressing the part, like I say, adopting that confident posture, speaking with authority. But we need to consistently embody those traits because then we train our mind to accept them as our new reality, and that's going to pave the way for genuine transformation. So there are a few ways that we can do this, and one of my favorites and one of the easiest things to do is visualization, because Visualisation is such a powerful tool in both faking it and manifesting. So, you know, it's all about creating those vivid mental images of your desired outcomes, making them feel real and attainable. So it might include daily meditation sessions where you vividly imagine your success in sensory detail. But overall, effective visualisation just involves more than just picturing your goals. It requires you to engage all your senses to create a fully immersive experience. So you want to feel as though you are literally in your head looking through your own eyes. You need to imagine the sights, the sounds, the smells, and all the emotions that are associated with that success, because the more detailed and vivid your visualization is, the stronger the impact of your subconscious mind, and that's going to help you internalize and work towards your goals. And something else that you can do that's really, really super easy is to use affirmations, because affirmations can reprogram your subconscious mind to align with your goals. So what we need to do is, just to maximize that effectiveness of affirmations, we need to choose statements that resonate with us and that reflect our desired reality, and then just repeat them consistently, you know, preferably in front of a mirror. You don't have to if you don't want to, but I like to do it in front of a mirror. I think it gives it a bit more conviction. And over time, these affirmations will replace all that negative self-talk inside of you and create a positive feedback loop that then reinforces your self-belief, which is going to propel you towards your goals. Okay, so it's like a continuous cycle. So what we need to do is we need to set clear goals. So we need to define our aspirations with clarity. Okay, we need to set effective goals. We need to start by identifying what we truly want to achieve, because then we're being clear with the universe. Okay, and you can also break down your larger aspirations into smaller, more manageable steps. That can be completed within a specific time frame, for example. But consistency is key, so develop those daily rituals that reinforce your new identity and keep you focused on your objectives. So it might include a morning routine that sets a positive tone for the day. It might incorporate activities like journaling or exercise or reading, because establishing that routine will help you to integrate new behaviors and habits into your daily life. That's going to make it so much easier for you to maintain that momentum. And I want you to choose activities that support your goals and schedule them at the same time every day, just to create that sense of structure and discipline, because then over time, those routines are going to become second nature to you. They're going to reinforce your commitment to your dreams and your goals. Now, something that comes up for me time and time again when I do this work is self-doubt. And even when I was with Lorraine, that, uh, Reiki healer that I was talking about at the start of the episode, she said my self-doubt was absolutely horrific, and she said my imposter syndrome was horrific as well. And she said it all stemmed from not being good enough as a child, or, you know, being told that I'll never amount to anything and things like that. So we're going to do some work over that as well over the next few coming sessions. But addressing and overcoming self-doubt, that is a crucial part for maintaining that momentum, okay? Because I know for me personally, self-doubt is probably the most biggest barrier to achieving my goals. And to overcome it, I need to start by identifying the source of all of me doubts and challenging them with evidence-based thinking. It's like when we go through limiting belief work, I always say to you, okay, write down that limiting belief.

Where does it stem from?

You know, how is that showing up for you in your everyday life? And then connect the dots. Is there any truth in it, or is this just like a kind of memory or trauma that you're dragging up from the past? Yeah, we just need to think about things like on an evidence-based thinking level. Okay, so, you know, practicing mindfulness, that'll help us to stay present, reduce anxiety about the future. Even surrounding yourself with supportive people, like what I spoke about in last week's episode, who encourage and uplift you. Because when we address that self-doubt head-on, we build the resilience and the confidence in our abilities. And when we implement those little practical steps That's going to help us to create a solid foundation for applying all the principles of this, you know, fake it till you make it culture, okay? Now, if we think about this in context of me speaking at Happy Place just the other week, obviously when I got invited to speak at Happy Place and I saw who else was on the bill and all of the other people that were going to be there, like, doing their talks, the self-doubt was unreal. Honestly, it was so unreal, and I just thought, who is going to come and see my talk? 'Who is going to bother to come and see what I have to say? Like, when you've got all these other people that are on at the same time, all these other amazing people that are going to be speaking, why would anyone pay to come and see me personally?' And all this self, self-doubt and all this imposter syndrome and everything came straight flooding back in, and I just thought, 'I'm not good enough.' Okay, that was my first thought. 'I'm not good enough.' So, what I'd been doing on the weeks leading up to Happy Place is I'd been standing in front of a mirror practicing what I was going to say, but I was also closing me eyes at the same time and almost faking being there, okay. So it would be almost like with my eyes closed while I was like practicing, I would be able to hear people chattering in the background, I could hear music in the distance, I could feel the temperature of the tent, the sun was beaming down on it, I could feel like the wind around me. I could see Fran on the stage with me. It was incredible. Like, it was almost as though I was literally there in my mind's eye. But what I started doing is started to fake that confidence to my friends. So every time my friends said to me, "Oh my God, are you scared?" or "Are you worried?" or "You're anxious?" or anything like that, I'd be like, "No, I've done this to 700 people before. I'll be absolutely fine. Trust me, honestly, I will stand up there and I will just go through my whole talk." we'll do the workshop and everything will run smoothly. And you know what? On the day when we got to the tent, Fran told me she was shitting herself. Now, I didn't expect that from Fran. I honestly thought Fran would go out there and she would be the one that was all confident and talking, but I would be the one that would be scared. And it was the other way around. I was the confident one on the day, and I think it was because I'd done all of this background work, all of this preparation, kind of faking it until I actually made it onto the stage.

Does that make sense?

I hope it does. So whilst faking it is about like adopting all these new behaviors, it's essential to also remain authentic to ourselves. So we need to learn how to balance that aspirational self with our true self as well. So it might involve, you know, regular self-reflection sessions, just ensuring that your goal aligns with your core values. Because we still need to be authentic at the end of the day because that ensures that our journey remains meaningful and fulfilling. So when we regularly reflect on our goals and our behaviors to ensure that they resonate with our true self, we just need to remember to stay connected to our core values and, you know, make any adjustments as needed to maintain that integrity. And when we balance that authenticity with aspiration, we then create that sustainable path to success. So what I even did on the lead-up to Happy Place is every time I went to the shops Or every time I nipped out and, you know, went to the park or went to a baby group or something like that, usually I would put my headphones in, you know, if I was walking the dog or going to the shops or something like that, and I just wouldn't speak to any other person other than the person at the till. I challenged myself to get out of my comfort zone basically and to, you know, fake the confidence. So I would go up to random people in the supermarket and ask how they were doing.

And I mean, yeah, I got a few grunts and stuff like that.

I went out of my way to walk past someone in the park where usually I would just avoid them and walk in the opposite direction, and I just talked about the weather. It was just little random things, but it was almost faking that confidence. And they probably just went on with the rest of their day without thinking anything of it, but really, that was me boosting my confidence enough to stand on stage in front of everyone at Happy Place. It was just these little tiny baby steps that I was implementing internally so that I was faking it inside, so all the confidence was exuding out of me. And like I mentioned before, when you show all of these qualities or you feel the emotions and all of these qualities inside of your body, you create these new neural pathways that your— it tricks your brain basically into thinking, you know, Mart is a really confident person, you know, or he really, really loves to stand on stage and talk in front of people. And it worked. It absolutely worked 110%.

I stood on that stage and I was so, so confident, and I didn't have any regrets about anything that I said.

I didn't mess up or anything, a bit like we did at the Barbican a few times. It was just incredible.

I absolutely loved it, okay.

So I want you to apply those concepts yourself and, you know, think about how you can fake it till you make it. It might be a career change.

It might be that you just want to exude confidence.

It might be that, you know, you want to just talk to someone and go out of your comfort zone. You know, try and incorporate at least one of them steps in the next week. And just remember, you know, transformation is a journey. It's not a destination. It's a journey. So I just want you to stay committed to the growth and embrace challenges as opportunities for learning. You know, celebrate all those progresses along the way because when we integrate all of those principles from, you know, like fake it till you make it When you incorporate them into your daily life, you unlock your potential and you create a reality that aligns with your deepest aspirations. Okay, so I hope that this episode helped you all. I hope it landed exactly where it needed to, and I hope that you too can fake something until it becomes your reality as well. I'm not saying go out and buy a Rolls-Royce or go out and buy a Porsche or something like that because you want to fake this huge, like, wealthy lifestyle or anything like that, okay?

I'm on about faking it internally.

What can you do to really boost your confidence internally? Because faking it truly puts you in the life and shoes of someone who's actually living that reality, and as such, the universe will move heaven and high water to make that reality real for you as well, okay? So I hope that helped.

And just before this episode ends, I just want to say a massive, massive, massive thank you to every single one of you that bought an early bird ticket for Manifest, my new festival that is being held here in Newcastle upon Tyne in June next year, in 2025. I had such a phenomenal response to the early bird tickets and they all sold out within 12 hours.

Okay, but don't worry because the general on sale are on sale from Friday the 2nd of August, I think it is, at 10 AM. So don't worry if you missed out on the early bird, Don't worry, there's still 1,500 more to go.

But yeah, if you want to come, head to mani-fest.uk and sign up to the newsletter, and you will be the first to be notified when those tickets come on for sale. A lot of you will have seen half of the lineup when you bought your early bird tickets, and people were going wild at some of the lineup. So I'm very, very excited for everyone to see that.

But in the meantime, don't forget to leave a rating or review of the pod wherever you're listening from. And don't forget, you can also get 10% off everything by using your exclusive discount code, which is the word 'podcast' at checkout at cannycrystals.co.uk and cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk. So I'll see you all next Friday for another episode, but thank you so much for listening, everyone.

See you next weekend.

Bye! You want to get your backyard summer ready, but you don't want to break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget, plus surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com. Wayfair, every style, every home.

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