146: Embracing fun - from anxiety to joy

Hello everyone, and thanks so much for joining me again for another episode of the pod. As you know by now, my name is Mart Tweedy. I'm your host. And guess what? Our tickets for Manifest are now live. They're live for anyone to now purchase. Half of the lineup has been announced, and first up on the bill is, dum dum dum, me, obviously, because I couldn't really run an event and not put myself on there to talk about crystals, could I? Yeah. But I'll also be joined by, get this, get this for half a lineup, Jude Daunt, talking about all things mindset and how that shapes our lives. We'll also be joined by Francesca Amber. She'll be joining us to discuss manifestation and the law of attraction. Then we'll have Susie Ashworth, who will also be there to talk about quantum shifts and infinite receiving. We've got Victoria Jackson from the Manifestation Collective, who will be doing a super powerful visualization with us all. And we've even got Kirstie Gallagher, who will be talking all things divine feminine energy by invoking that goddess energy. How's that for half a lineup? I'm impressed. I'm impressed with myself. Um, we do have general admission and VIP available if you're feeling a little, you know, bougie. For the VIP tickets, you will get everything that the general admission guys get, but you'll also get a designated entrance 15 minutes into the venue before anyone else, so no queuing. You'll also get a seat in the first 5 rows. You'll also even get priority to ask guests' questions after their talks, and you'll also receive an incredible goodie bag filled with products. It'll also be filled with freebies and more from all of our sponsors, our exhibitors, and our speakers as well. So there'll be free crystals, free beauty products, free books, and so much more. I honestly cannot wait. The reason that there's only half of the lineup is that I don't want to give you all everything at once. I want to keep my cards close to my chest, and I also want you all to get the chance to go who listen to this pod if you wanted to come before I drop the next lot of guest names because I think their audiences will go wild because they've got such huge followings. So, this is your heads up, okay. Book tickets sooner rather than later. Last week we opened the early bird tickets and they sold out in a matter of hours. But like I say, the tickets are now on sale for you to purchase. So, when you get your ticket, you'll also get access to our exclusive backstage area where where you can find out lots of information about the event that you might want to know, you know, such as nearby hotels, which we've got some great discounts for, by the way, as well as like how to get here, where to go out for a little bit of food or a little drink the night before, the night of. And you'll also get access to our community chat as well, where if you're coming along and you're traveling solo, pretty much like 70% of you are, you can make friends before you attend. Honestly, I know we're talking 11 months away here, but Claire, my PR manager, is taking this stratospheric, and her plan to get this event out there in the public domain is going to mean that tickets sell out there very, very quickly. So if you think, "Wow, it's not payday for me for a while," don't worry, I've got you. You can even select Klarna or Clearpay at checkout just to spread the cost in up to 4 individual payments, and that'll make it a lot easier for you. But go and check out the video that I made about the event as well. You can find it either by going through the link in my Instagram profile or by visiting mani-fest.uk. That's M-A-N-I-F-E-S-T.UK. Honestly, this is going to be probably the wildest and biggest event that any of you have ever been to, and I can't wait to see you all there. But anyway, Back to this week. So I'm going to tell you all a little story, okay, and stick with me because it does have meaning. So on Sunday last weekend, one of my longtime manifestations came to fruition, and I think I've probably mentioned on here before about, you know, how much of a big Little Mix fan I am. And I want to take you right back to the start of this just to help you understand just how long this has been going on and just how long I've been a fan of Jade in particular. And I mean, hello, her name is Jade, as in the crystal jade. I couldn't love her anymore if ever tried. So 15, maybe 16 years ago, me and a few of me friends were out in this little Italian restaurant in Sunderland, and whilst we waited for our table to get ready, we were told to go and have a drink in the little gin bar downstairs. So off we went down these steps and we got our drinks, and there was this elegant young lass sat on the edge of a piano and she was singing her heart out. Honestly, whatever she was singing, it was being played out into the restaurant upstairs for everyone eating the food to hear. And in the corner was a lady just sipping away on a drink, and we got chatting away to this girl, and she was taking requests from us. And me being me, I asked her to sing Sweet Dreams by Beyoncé because I think at the time it had just come out. So that's how long ago this was. I think it was 2008. So anyway, she sang it perfectly, might I add, and at the end she said, 'That was a request from Mart Tweedy.' And I shouted back, 'Because it's my birthday!' And she said into her microphone, 'Because it's his birthday!' And then she took the microphone away from her mouth and she said under her breath, you know, "When's it your birthday?" And I said, "Next year." And she said it so loud for everyone to hear, the restaurant upstairs kind of burst into laughter before she realised what she'd said. And then she was like, "Oh my God, I'm such a goof, blah blah blah." Anyway, she added me on MySpace because back then that was the done thing to do. And as she set off singing another song, we got chatting to a mum who was super supportive, and she told us that she just sits with her whilst her daughter fulfils her dream, basically. Because she's not old enough to be in a bar on her own. And, you know, she was only 15. I was absolutely fascinated by that. Honestly, after sitting listening to her sing for the next hour or so while we had our food, I went back down afterwards and I vividly remember saying to her, "You're gonna be a star and I want you to sing at my wedding whenever I get married." And she said, "Okay, so," like kind of nonchalantly. And then I'm sat at home 3 years later watching The X Factor and up pops this shy looking girl belting the hell out of a song. And I was thinking, where do I recognize her from? And then one of my best friends, Craig, texted and he said, it's Jade from that restaurant. I couldn't believe it. Now, for all you non-UK listeners, Jade then got put into a girl group on the show. And that girl group was called Little Mix. And they were the first ever group to win The X Factor in the UK. They went on to have so much success, including number ones all over the world, Millions of records sold and a career spanning 11 years before they disbanded in 2022 and they parted ways to concentrate on being mums and releasing their own solo music. So that's how long I've followed Jade for and how long I've been a huge fan. Now back in 2019, for those of you that know my story, my granddad passed away. It was actually 5 years ago on Monday just gone, by the way. So weird, it's absolutely flown by. And the funny thing— sorry, I'm getting a little sidetracked— but on Monday, me and Johnny went to the cinema, and when we came back, there was a feather on our doormat on the 5th anniversary of my grandad's passing. Isn't that weird? It's comforting, but still peculiar. Anyway, back in 2019, after my grandad died, there were a few months where I physically can't remember a thing. And I think that that was mainly to do with grief, because I was grieving. I was really severely depressed. I was grieving a hell of a lot, okay, because my granddad was like a father figure to me. And I think that the very first thing that I do remember after he passed was that in the September, I got tagged in a tweet on Twitter to say that I'd won a competition to meet Little Mix at a festival down in Liverpool. Now bearing in mind, I don't know if it was just because my memory is so crap because I was grieving at the time, but I don't even remember entering this competition. I remember checking the profile that had tagged us And yes, they were legit. So I rang each of me friends individually, and me and my friend Leanne went off to Liverpool that Sunday to watch all the other performers like Mabel, Clean Bandit, Annemarie, Little Mix. And we got to go backstage and meet the girls afterwards as well. And I remember telling them my story and specifically talking to Jade, who basically had her arm around me the entire time. And after a few minutes spent with them and a few photos taken, we were saying bye. And just as we were walking away, Jade shouted, 'Love ya, me first ever fan!' And at that point in my life, like, I'd been through hell. Yeah, I'd been grieving, I'd been severely depressed, and a few of my friends had even taken their own lives that year as well. And just by her shouting that to me on the way out, it made me feel like I mattered. Now, I can't really describe this because it gave me hope for the future, and it gave me hope that everything was going to work out. It was almost like her shouting that to me left me feeling that I meant something, and it really empowered me. Okay, so obviously time went by, and I went to their tour a few months later. And as the girls flew over my head on this platform, Jade pointed me out of the crowd. She made a heart shape with her hands, and she mouthed the words "love you." Now, I've actually got this on video somewhere as well. I'm not just bullshitting. And then again in 2022, at their final tour before disbanding, we got a few cheeky winks and waves, and it was just incredible. Like, I'm such a fangirl. Let me live my life, you know. So there is meaning to this story, by the way. So if we cut to present day, it was only a few days ago, it was Saturday, that I was feeling quite flat, shall we say. And you might have seen this on our Cani Crystals Instagram story, but one customer in particular had input the wrong address on her order. She had then read her order confirmation email, her dispatch email, her out for delivery email, all of which contained that wrong address, and she chose to contact us after the parcel had been delivered. So in this circumstance, you know, there's very little I could do. So we went back to her and I said, "Look, unfortunately it's too late to do anything from our side. It's literally in someone else's letterbox in Brighton." Newcastle to Brighton is a good 6-hour drive away. So I looked up her correct address and I said, "Look, you live a 25-minute walk from the address that you've input." So trying to be reasonable, I just asked her if she could potentially go around there, give them a knock to see if she could retrieve a package. And oh my God, you'd think that World War III had erupted. She wanted us to sort it. So basically she wanted us to do a 12-hour round-trip drive for the sake of a £20 package that she didn't put the incorrect details on. She then threatened us with negative 1-star reviews. She said that our customer service was shocking and that we lacked any form of empathy for people making mistakes. Bearing in mind all of this is happening at 6 PM on a Saturday evening when we're not physically working as well. And I guess it's my own fault for not switching my emails off on a night, but I can't help but be helpful to people. Like, if someone messages me at 10 PM and their parcel is lost or damaged, I'm straight on my laptop to figure out how we can go above and beyond to help them. It's just who I am. I know it's not expected, but I want people to have an amazing experience shopping with us. And I don't want people to think, oh my God, they haven't responded in a few hours. Yeah, so anyway, I really let this situation get to me, and I was anxious thinking about the negative reviews that she was going to leave us. I was anxious thinking about who she was going to tell not to shop with us. I was anxious thinking that she was going to go to her bank to reclaim the money, which would then really harm our business on our website by receiving a chargeback. My head was an absolute mess. So after 3 hours spent on the phone to every customer services on Saturday evening, they got in touch with the local driver there. They told him what had happened, and he went and collected the parcel from the wrong address. They asked where the new address was, so I just said, "No, actually, this customer's been a bit of a nightmare. Can you just return it directly to me and I'll refund her?" So they sorted that, and they said it was now coming back to us. So the customer then came back to us and said that she had gone to the house to call for a parcel after all, and now they didn't have it. So I just issued her a full refund, and I basically said, you know, please don't order from us again. We don't take kindly to receiving threats, you know, we're a small business, please don't affect our business like that. So after dealing with all this and getting meself all worked up that night, I took meself up to me bedroom, and I got my amethyst in one hand and my Howlite in my other hand from my display box, and I'll lay on my bed with one in each hand, just doing a little breathing exercise, just to bring myself back down to earth basically and calm myself down. And I'd say within about 10 minutes, I remember thinking to myself, you know, 'Will all of this matter in one year's time?' And obviously the answer was a big fat resounding no. So I just thought to myself, you know, in the words of Elsa from Frozen, Let it go, let it go. So I had meself a nice long shower to calm down further, and I thought, how can I pick my mood up? So of course I put my Alexa on playing Little Mix, and I had a good little dance while I was washing meself in the shower. I just wanted to feel that fun, to kind of get rid of all that background noise in my head. So the next day, we're on Sunday now, I'd heard a little rumor that Jade might be making an appearance at Pride because She's such an ally, honestly. So me and my best friend Nikki were going to South Tyneside Pride in South Shields, which is basically like our nearest beach along the coastline. And I thought, I'm gonna have meself a day off work. I'm gonna have some fun today. Now it's very rare that I do this because you all know I'm a bit of a workaholic, but I thought, I'm gonna switch off from work just for the evening. So on the way there on the Metro, I kept saying to Nikki like, wouldn't it be nice if we just casually bumped into Jade? 'Oh, wouldn't it be lovely if we got to spend some time with her?' And I just let all of those feelings of excitement and wonder pop up in my body, kind of smile to myself, and, you know, close my eyes a few seconds, and I just let it go because we were going to have a good time no matter what anyway, because I was with my best friend. It was really sunny outside. It was such a beautiful day anyway, and I just thought, 'We are going to have an amazing day anyway.' Obviously I had me moldavite stuffed into me pocket, so I was packing some serious energy when having these thoughts. So there we are, we get off the metro, we went straight into a little bar called Arbea, which ironically is owned by Jade, and we got a bottle of Prosecco. And you know I don't drink, right? So I just get 2, sometimes 3-day hangovers, and I can't handle it when I need to be productive. And you know, I'm busy with all things Canicrystals, but I just thought I'm gonna let me hair down. So I'm just sat, I'm having a bit of a chat with Nikki, and I looked to my right and I saw these beautiful long flowing locks as if Diana Ross was stood right next to me. And I'll give you one guess as to who it was. It was Jade in the flesh, stood right next to me. Before I jumped down off me chair to go and say hello, I specifically remember looking up at the ceiling and I just said, "Thank you, universe," and off I ran over to her. Now my manifestation came to fruition. The amount of times I've laid with my head on that pillow in my bed thinking about meeting Jade again and just being able to talk to her one-on-one, like, without any kind of time pressures or anything like that, about the most random of things, and then bam, there I am with her. I got photos, I got videos, we danced with her to her own songs, we had drinks with her, and she just floated around that bar for the full 5 hours that we were there. Like a normal person. And as we were about to leave, I noticed that she was stood outside on her own. So I went over to her and I told her that I was so happy to have met her again and that she had given me meaning and hope in a really dark point of my life. And she'd give me a massive hug, and then we headed off back home. I actually didn't want to leave. I could have stayed there all night. Now, considering I was only drinking for 5 hours, we are now 3 days later as I record this and I'm still bloody ropey. So this is why I don't drink, and it's very rare that I actually do. But I'm so, so glad that I stepped out of my comfort zone on Sunday. I gave myself that freedom to do so and that permission to have fun because, yes, I met Jade, that was fun, but Sunday in general was just so much fun as a whole. Now, I probably wouldn't have done that had I have not had that crap experience with that customer on that Saturday night. It was almost as though I was looking for something to fill that void because I felt so crap at what had happened to that customer. And something else that I was thinking about is, can you believe I have lived in Newcastle city centre for almost 10 years now and I could probably count on one hand how many times I've been on the Metro? And I've never in my life been out around South Shields for drinks. So it's just funny how these little new experiences really helped to shape my weekend from that Saturday shitshow to that Sunday orgasmic feeling that I had inside of me. So it's made me want to kind of venture out of my comfort zone a little more and just to see how else I can fill up my soul by doing things that I normally wouldn't do. So I'm not saying, you know, go out and get plastered drunk, but just think of something that you could do that would fill your cup up. So back a few months ago, I read a book called The Power of Fun, and I really think that I embodied those principles from that book this weekend. If you haven't read it already, it's called The Power of Fun: How to Feel Alive Again. It's by an author called Catherine Price, and it basically explores the concept of true fun, which the author describes in the book as a combination of playfulness, connection, and flow, much like everything that I experienced on Sunday. So it talks about how true fun brings a sense of joy, presence, and connection that can really impact our well-being. So we all can have true fun, but most of us spend our lives in that fake fun stage. So true fun involves activities that make us feel alive and engaged, you know, being around people that we have those genuine connections with and that sense of freedom, whereas fake fun refers to activities that are superficially enjoyable but they leave us feeling empty, you know, such as mindless scrolling on social media, which is what I would do aimlessly for hours on end at one point, thinking that I was having fun, but it didn't bring me any sense of feeling alive. Now, this book contains, um, 3 key elements of true fun, and the first is playfulness. So that's having a light-hearted and spontaneous approach to life. The next is connection, so having those deep, meaningful interactions with other people. And the third is flow, so just having that state of complete immersion in an activity. Now Sunday was all three of those for me. It was very spontaneous of me to just take the day off and go out for the afternoon with me friend. I had those deep and meaningful interactions with her as we sat and chatted about life in general. And the complete immersion as well, like my head wasn't anywhere but in that room for hours on end. I didn't think about work. Or anything else that's going on in my life that's troubling me. I was just there. I was living in the moment. I was present in the room. Now, the book also talks about barriers to fun as well. So how modern life can distract us with the responsibilities and technology, making it difficult to find time for true fun. And as well as that, the overscheduling and the pressure to be productive, that can inhibit our ability to relax and just enjoy the moment that we're living in. Because living in that present moment of here and now, because, you know, engaging in true fun can reduce stress, enhance creativity, and improve overall happiness. Living in that present moment of here and now really will like enhance those and bolster them. So fun fosters resilience, it helps us to build stronger relationships, and trust me, since Sunday I've been high on life. It's really perked me up when I could have just wallowed in that anxiety from the customer on Saturday that I had to deal with. So this is what I want you to try and do this week and cultivate more fun in your life. I want you to identify and prioritize activities that bring you true fun into your life, okay? I want you to create some boundaries around technology use and carve out that time for unstructured play. I want you to seek out experiences and environments and people that promote that connection and flow, and just be mindful of what genuinely brings you joy and make intentional choices to incorporate more of those experiences into your daily life. Now, I couldn't help but feel a wave of inspiration and gratitude to everyone that I came into contact with on Sunday, not just Jade, because it was a powerful reminder to me of how positive experiences and genuine connections can really, really lift us up, especially during tough times as well. So reflecting on these moments of true fun as described in the book, they really brought home for me the idea that joy can be found in the simplest of things. Now, to everyone listening, I want you to think about your own experiences of true fun. Now remember, it's not just about the big planned events, it's about those little moments of spontaneity that bring us joy and make us feel alive. So it could be something as simple as a spontaneous dance in your kitchen, or a heartfelt conversation with a friend when you just ring them up for a chat, or even a quiet moment of reflection with a cup of tea in your back garden. One thing I'm going to start doing is to just set aside time each week for something playful. It doesn't have to be anything elaborate, just something that makes me smile internally. And I encourage you to do the same as well. So whether that's picking up a hobby that you've neglected, or trying out a new recipe in the kitchen, or even just taking a walk in a park, find that little spark that brings joy to your day. So as I wrap up, basically, I just want to leave you with this thought: Make room for fun in your life. Not just the kind of fun that passes time, but the kind that fills your soul, because it's these moments that help us to stay grounded and connected and truly alive. And just remember as well, fun isn't a luxury, it's a necessity for a balanced and fulfilling life. Okay, so I hope that this episode helped you all to think about what true fun means to you And I also hope that it inspires you to actively seek out those moments that bring genuine joy and connection into your life. If you're interested, go and have a look at my pictures with Jade over on my personal Instagram, which is @marttweedey, or you can even watch my videos with her on TikTok, which is also on my personal TikTok, which is also @marttweedey. Um, I think that they've been viewed over half a million times already. Actually, I'm just quite kind of totting it up in my head now. I think they've been viewed over 750,000 times, which is absolutely wild. I was torn between living in the moment and wanting to capture it so that I could see forevermore. So I did a bit of both. I didn't record the entire night, but there is a few videos on there. If you've enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to go and leave a rating or review on the pod wherever you're listening to this from. And don't forget as well, you can get 10% off everything by using your exclusive discount code, which is the word PODCAST. At checkout on both the main shop website and the Academy. So I hope that you have an amazing week ahead, and I'll see you all next Friday for another episode. Thank you so much for listening, guys. I'll speak to you all next week. And don't forget to get your tickets from Manifest as well. Thanks so much for listening. Bye!

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