183: Regulating the nervous system to manifest more

Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Cani Crystals the podcast. I hope that you're all well. Thank you for coming back and listening to me again. My name is Mart Tweedy, I'm your host, and And to be honest with you, this last week has been so stressful for me, and quite selfishly, I've based today's episode around what I needed to research for meself due to what's going on. But obviously, as I was researching it all, I was thinking everyone needs to hear this, so it's kind of worked out for the best anyway. So just to put yous into perspective and put you into my shoes, last Sunday, as in 12 days ago when this episode comes out, I'd been away for the weekend to a business meeting, and when I got back to Newcastle, my partner Johnny picked us up from the train station and we drove home. It's only about 5 or 10 minutes away, and I had no food in the house. So with it being 6 PM on a Sunday night, shops not being open, I just suggested that we get a Chinese takeaway. And by that time that it came, it was about 7:30. So Johnny had maybe a quarter of his and he rushed to the toilet, and I didn't really take note of what was going on until he was maybe on his third visit to the toilet in the space of about 5 minutes. And I asked him what he was doing and what was wrong, and he said that he had quite bad, like, abdominal and stomach cramps. And over the space of the next hour, he was literally on the floor rolling around in pain. So I had to ring 111 for some advice, and Johnny could barely speak with them by this point. They said that they would get a doctor to call us back within the next 15 minutes, but his symptoms just got so much worse, and at one point he couldn't even get up. So I ended up just ringing 999, and they said that an ambulance would be around a 3-hour wait. Like, what kind of country are we living in at the moment, guys? Not to get all political here, but Jesus Christ. Anyway, to cut a long story short, I had to drive him to hospital. By this time it was 11 PM. Thank God me mam had Jake staying overnight, or I wouldn't have been able to. I stayed in the hospital with him while they did loads of tests until around 5 AM the next morning. He was in so much pain. First they thought it was kidney stones, then it was a kidney infection, then they said it might be sepsis. Anyway, he's still in hospital today as I record this. He's still in the same pain. He's on every painkiller going. They still don't know what's wrong with him because one day they're saying, oh, it's this, and then the next they're saying, oh, it can't be this anymore because of X, Y, and Z. So the last pretty much 2 weeks for me have just been quite stressful, to say the very least. I'm trying to run business as usual. I'm trying to look after our little boy. I've basically just not had any time for me. So there have been a few things this last fortnight that haven't gone to plan. And usually I would've just thought, oh, it's because me mind's not in the game with everything else going on. But there's something that Emma Mumford mentioned in last week's podcast episode that really stuck out for me. And that was all about nervous system regulation. And so I started reading her new book, Aligned Abundance, and I started doing me own research into how when we regulate our nervous system, we can in turn manifest better results. So it started to get me thinking, like, how many of us right now are feeling stressed, reactive, overwhelmed, spacey, disconnected, or even anxious? Because honestly, so many of these things that we go through in life, you know, the tension, the burnout, the emotional roller coasters, they're actually signs of a dysregulated nervous system. But the good news is that means that there's something that we can do about it. So when we start to understand our nervous system and how to regulate it properly, we can then begin to soothe that stress. We can find our center again, and we can bring ourselves back to a place of calm. So it doesn't just help us feel better in the moment, it helps us become more resilient, more grounded, and more in flow in the long run. So this episode, I'm going to basically guide you through a super simple but powerful kind of nervous system reset using something called Havening techniques. So stick around for that towards the end of the episode because it's just a gentle method that uses soothing touch to calm your brain's stress center, the amygdala, but it also encourages the release of feel-good chemicals like oxytocin and serotonin. So that's basically what's helped me get through these last 2 weeks, because honestly, I felt like I was losing the plot at one point. But let's begin first by getting to grips with what nervous system regulation actually is and why it's so essential when it comes to manifesting the life that we want. Because you've probably heard phrases like fight or flight or rest and digest, but what do they really mean in terms of your ability to manifest? So your nervous system is your body's internal alarm system. It's constantly scanning the environment to decide whether you're safe or whether you're under threat, and it just reacts accordingly, like either by calming your system down or by firing it up to prepare you for danger. Now here's the thing: when your nervous system thinks that you're in danger it starts to kick you into what's called a sympathetic state, also known as fight or flight mode. And that's when your body is flooded with stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline, and your heart will start to race, your muscles will tense, your breathing will get shallow, and your body basically says, right, forget about everything else, survival is our only priority right now. And here's where manifestation comes in, because you can't manifest clearly, powerfully, or effectively when your body is stuck in that survival mode. Because manifestation isn't about survival, it's about expansion, it's about growth and receiving and trusting, and your nervous system can't expand when it believes that you're under threat. Even if that threat is just anxiety about money or uncertainty about your future or pressure to, you know, make it happen quickly, your body doesn't know the difference. To your nervous system, a negative bank balance can feel just as threatening as a physical attack, and when your body is in that state, it's not focused on creating your dream life. It's more focused on just keeping you alive. So if you're sat there right now listening to this wondering why your manifestations aren't showing up, even though you're doing all the journaling, the visualizing, the scripting, the meditating, this might be your missing piece. Because if you're doing all of those things from a place of desperation or stress or fear, your energetic frequency is actually just reinforcing the lack of what you want. So you're unintentionally sending out the message, "I don't have this thing yet and it's really stressing me out," and that's the energy that the universe ends up responding to. But the truth is, manifestation is a mirror. I've said this before, like, it doesn't give you what you want, it gives you what you are. And when you're grounded, you're calm, you're centered, you're feeling safe in your body, you naturally start shifting into a receiving state, and that's the parasympathetic state. Which is the rest and digest mode. So it's when you feel regulated, it's where your breath slows down, your shoulders drop, your energy just says, "I trust that everything I desire is on its way." You know, it's that sweet spot for manifestation. That's where we need to get to. That's where your energy will start to become magnetic as well. So when you're in a regulated state, you will stop pushing, you'll stop forcing or chasing outcomes. You don't need to manifest from a place of control. You manifest from that place of trust. So you'll feel open to receive. You start to see signs, synchronicities, and opportunities that were there all along, but you just couldn't access them when your body was in fight or flight mode. So it's kind of like, you know, tuning into a frequency that you were just out of range of before. So regulating your nervous system, it's not just kind of a nice-to-have practice, it's a powerful foundation for our manifestation. It's what actually allows you to shift out of survival mode where you're clinging and grasping, and into a state of ease, flow, and true alignment. And this is exactly what Emma Mumford was talking about in last week's podcast episode. It's basically what helps you become the version of you who already knows that it's all working out. And that's the magic as well, because when your body feels safe, your energy becomes safe as well. You're no longer sending mixed signals to the universe. You're broadcasting clarity, trust, and readiness. And that's when things will start to shift. So now that we understand what nervous system regulation actually is, I want to look at how it links with the energy of manifestation, because your body isn't just a passenger on your manifestation journey, it's the vehicle, okay? It's not the passenger, it is the vehicle. It's not separate from the process, it is the process. And the state that your body is in directly impacts the energy that you're putting out into the world. And this is where science and spirituality kind of meet as well, because, you know, everything is energy. Your thoughts, your emotions, your physical body, and all of it carries a frequency. So when you're manifesting, you're essentially sending out a signal to the universe asking it to reflect back to you the energy that you're embodying. And that's why people always say, "It's not what you want, it's who you are being," because the universe responds to your state of being, not just your words or vision boards. And guess where your state of being is anchored? That's right, in your nervous system. So when your body is dysregulated, you know, when you're anxious, you're restless, or you're stuck in fear, your entire system is closed off to receiving. Even if your conscious mind is saying, "I want more money," or "I want love," or "I want this new job," your body might be holding on to the exact opposite belief. It might be saying, "That's not safe. I'm not ready. I can't handle it." And so you just stay stuck in that loop. So you keep asking, but energetically you're not open to actually receiving. So it's like trying to tune into that very specific radio station, but the signal is full of static. You know, the music is playing somewhere out there in the universe, but you can't quite hear it clearly. The moment that you regulate your nervous system, that static is going to clear. You'll become a clear, tuned-in channel for the frequency of your desires. So let's say you're trying to manifest more financial abundance. If your body is in survival mode, you know, constantly worrying about bills, living paycheck to paycheck, spiraling in fear, your nervous system is on high alert. It thinks that survival is your top priority, not growth, not ease, not overflow. So you can journal about wealth all day long, but if your body doesn't feel safe with the idea of abundance, it's going to block it from coming in. But when you start calming your nervous system, when you practice grounding, breathing, releasing, you actually begin to show your body, you know, hey, we're okay, we're safe, we don't have to panic anymore. And as you do that, your energy will soften, your frequency will start to shift, and suddenly abundance doesn't feel like a distant dream. It feels like kind of accessible, possible, or even natural. Okay, so this is where your manifestations start to pick up momentum, not because you're hustling harder not because you're working 10 times harder than you were before, but because your inner world is finally matching the energy of things that you've actually been asking for. So often we try to change our outer world, you know, we chase jobs, we hustle for love, we force outcomes, we try and, you know, force money, when really the shift will start internally. When your nervous system feels safe, your energy becomes magnetic. So you move from that tight grasping energy of, you know, please let this happen, into that open, confident, trusting energy of, "I know that this is going to happen. It's already mine." And that's the bridge. That's the moment when things start to change. You don't have to micromanage the how. You don't have to beg the Universe to give it to you. You become the person who is ready to receive, and the Universe will meet you there. So let's talk about something that can completely shift the way that you manifest, which is the energy behind how you're asking for what you want. Because there's a massive difference between manifesting from that place of desperation and manifesting from a place of receiving. So desperation is rooted in the belief that something is missing. It's like telling the universe, "I don't have this yet, but I need it in order to feel okay." So it's kind of grasping, it's clinging, it's trying to control every single detail, and that feels tense in the body, almost like urgency or frustration or even a bit of panic as well. And even if you don't say it out loud, the energy behind it just screams, "Please fix this, I'm not okay without it." So compare that now to the energy of receiving. Receiving is open, soft, trusting. It's not rushed, it's not worried about the timing. It says, "I know it's coming and I'm preparing myself for it." So it's calm, it's regulated, and it's rooted in belief as well. And here's the key: Receiving doesn't mean you don't want something deeply. It means you're no longer vibrating in the frequency of lack. So you're holding the energy of already having it. You're in the same vibration as the thing that you desire. So desperation pushes things away. Think about it. When you're desperate for someone to text you back, you check your phone every 5 seconds. You replay every conversation that you've had with them. You drive yourself mad over it. But the second that you stop caring as much, you know, ping! There's the message. Why? Because your energy relaxed. You shifted from clinging to allowing, and the same thing applies in every area of your life. So when you're manifesting from desperation, it's like trying to catch water in a closed fist. You know, the tighter you squeeze, the more it's going to slip away. But when you open your palm, when you create space, that's when the magic can land. So many people unknowingly operate from desperation because they just don't feel safe. They don't trust the timing, they don't trust themselves, and they definitely don't trust the universe. And that's why nervous system regulation is such a game changer, because it teaches your body how to stop living in that fear-based energy. It brings you back to your center, and from there you can manifest from a space that feels grounded and empowered. Not frantic and forceful. You know, desperation says, "I don't trust that I'll get what I want," whereas receiving says, "I'm already aligned with it. It's just a matter of time." And it's that shift in energy that is everything, because manifestation isn't about begging for scraps from the universe. It's about remembering that you are worthy of everything you desire. And when you feel that worthiness in your body, not just in your mind, you stop chasing and you start attracting. So if you've ever thought to yourself, you know, why do I feel stuck? Or why isn't this working even though I'm trying so hard? Just check in with the energy that you're holding right now. Like, are you asking from a place of desperation, or are you creating space to receive? Because that shift from needy to knowing, you know, from clutching to confidence, that's the real key. And it starts with the way that you feel in your body. It starts with learning to feel safe enough to believe that it's already yours. Okay, so we've already talked about how important it is to manifest from a place of receiving rather than desperation, but how do you actually know if your nervous system is dysregulated in the first place, especially when you're doing manifestation practices and trying your best to, you know, stay high vibe in inverted commas? The truth is nervous system dysregulation, it can be quite sneaky. So you might think that you're in alignment You know, you're saying your affirmations, you're visualizing your dream life, but underneath it all, your body might still be in that state of panic or fear or overdrive, and that's the part that really counts. So we're going to shine a light on what dysregulation can look like specifically in the context of manifestation, because when you know what to look out for, you can catch yourself in the moment and you can bring yourself back into alignment. So one of the biggest signs, and something that I've seen over the last 2 weeks especially, is overthinking. Like, if you're obsessing over when or how your manifestation is going to happen, you're constantly analyzing, you're constantly doubting, replaying conversations in your mind, you're looking for signs every 5 minutes— that is not alignment. That's anxiety dressed up as a spiritual effort. Basically, it's your nervous system in a state of hypervigilance. It's trying to control the outcome to feel safe. Another red flag is that you might feel emotionally triggered when things don't seem to be happening fast enough. And I've been like this over the last 2 weeks as well. Maybe you've done a manifestation ritual and the next day you're already spiraling, like, why hasn't anything changed yet? Did I do it wrong? Is the universe ignoring us? You know, that emotional reaction is a clue that your nervous system is still operating from fear and urgency, not from trust and flow. You might also notice some physical symptoms. For example, your shoulders might be constantly tense, You've got a knot in your stomach. You're holding your breath without realizing. Maybe your sleep is poor, or you wake up feeling on the edge even before the day's even started. All of these are signs that your body doesn't feel safe, and if your body doesn't feel safe, it won't relax enough to actually receive. Another big one is just compulsively doing things, you know, jumping from one method to another. Today it's scripting, Tomorrow it's water manifesting. The next day it's a full moon ritual. You know, you're constantly searching for the one thing that is going to finally unlock your desires, but underneath that is frantic energy. You know, it's a fear that what you're doing isn't enough, that you're not enough. And then again, that's your nervous system driving the show. Even something like constantly asking for signs, that can be a signal of dysregulation. Like, don't get us wrong, signs are beautiful, you know, synchronicities and all that. They're magical, they're fun. But if you find yourself begging the universe for a sign every single day and then getting upset when one doesn't appear immediately, that's coming from a place of fear, not faith. So the tricky part is most of us are so used to being dysregulated that we don't even realize it anymore. We think it's normal to feel tense all the time. We're addicted to anxiety, basically. We think manifestation is supposed to feel like hard work. But it's not because true alignment is a state of inner calm. It feels like ease, like spaciousness, like deep-down trust. And when your nervous system is regulated, you stop needing proof because you already know that your desires are already on their way to you. So if you're recognizing yourself in any of this, don't worry, because awareness is powerful, you know. You're not doing anything wrong whatsoever. Your body is just simply trying to protect you. That's a good thing. It just needs to learn a new way to feel safe in the unknown, because the unknown is where the manifestation happens. And this is the exciting part as well. Like, once you start regulating your nervous system intentionally, your entire relationship with manifestation will start to change. So it'll become less about hustling for results and more about aligning with your truth, your worth, and your receiving energy. So now that we know the signs of dysregulation, let's get into the good stuff— how to actually bring your nervous system back into a state of calm and alignment so you can manifest from that magnetic trust in space. So the first thing to know is this: you don't need a big morning routine or hours of spiritual rituals every single day to regulate your nervous system. Yep, I said it. You just need small intentional moments throughout the day that bring your body back to safety over and over again. So this isn't about perfection, it's just about consistency. And one of the easiest and most underrated tools is your breath. I've said it before, I'll say it again, deep conscious breathing sends a signal straight to your body that it's safe to relax. So try this right now, just take a slow deep breath in through your nose for 4 counts Hold it for 4 and then exhale through your mouth for 6. And just do that a few times and feel the shift. So in for 4, hold for 4, out for 6. It's subtle but it is so powerful. The energy softens, your body begins to open, and that's the gateway to receiving. Grounding is another beautiful way to regulate yourself. You know, you can go outside, you can put your bare feet on the earth, you can simply visualize roots growing from your feet into the ground while you sit in stillness. If you don't want to go outside. You know, it helps pull your energy down out of your mind and back into your body, into the present moment where manifestation truly happens. And another one is movement as well. It doesn't have to be a workout. Even just shaking out your hands, dancing to your favorite song, or stretching for 5 minutes, that can help shift that stuck energy and release tension from the body. When your energy is flowing, your manifestations are going to flow as well. Tapping's another great one, you know, EFT. It's another tool that I love, especially when you're feeling overwhelmed or anxious about whether something's going to work. You know, a few rounds of tapping can just help calm your system, and it can rewire those fear-based thoughts and anchor you back into trust. And then there's those moments of stillness as well, you know, in meditation, mindfulness, even just placing your hand on your heart, just reminding yourself "I am safe. I am supported. Everything is always working out for me." You know, these simple acts of self-regulation, they tell your nervous system that, you know, we don't need to panic, we don't need to chase, we're safe to let go. The key here through all of these is just to stop trying to manifest while your body is in chaos. Regulate it first and then visualize, then affirm, then journal. Because otherwise your energy is trying to leap ahead, but your body's stuck in survival mode, and that just creates more resistance for you. When your nervous system is soothed, your manifestation work becomes less about effort and more about alignment. You're not trying to force the door open, you're gently unlocking it from within. Okay, now here's where it all comes together, because a regulated nervous system doesn't just help you feel better, it helps you manifest better. When your body feels safe, something magical happens. You become more receptive, so you start noticing signs that you previously missed. You get intuitive nudges or flashes of inspiration, you know, brilliant ideas out of absolutely nowhere, and the path forward begins to light up. Not because you're forcing it to, but because you're finally still enough to hear it. So often the next aligned action, you know, that one inspired step that leads you to exactly where you want to be, That doesn't come when you're obsessing or controlling. It comes when you're calm, when you're in the bath or on a walk or sipping a cuppa in peace. That's the space that your nervous system makes available when it's regulated. That's the space when manifestation actually takes place and comes to fruition, because the universe doesn't want you to struggle. It's not holding things back to punish you, it's just responding to your vibration. And the more your nervous system can rest, the more your energy says, "I trust, I believe, and I'm ready." That's when things start unfolding. That's when what you've asked for can finally land. So if you take anything from this episode, let it be this: your calm is powerful. Your safety is magnetic. You don't need to manifest harder. You just need to feel safer in your body, and from that place, everything will start to shift. So let yourself soften. Let yourself receive. You're not behind, you're not doing it wrong, you're just learning how to be in your body, like in your truth and in alignment with the life that you're calling in. The work isn't always loud. Sometimes it's as gentle as a breath, you know, as quiet as a moment of stillness, as subtle as a knowing that it's already on its way to you. So what I would like to do now is I'm going to end this episode by doing this little technique I learned that I mentioned at the start because it really did help me feel safe, calm, and balanced again this last fortnight. And you know what, when I was researching this episode as well, it kind of creates space for any pent-up emotions to rise up and be released as well. So the first couple of times I did it, it's so simple, but I actually started crying. And I've just found it so helpful over the last few days, so I'm going to share it with you all right now. So to really help soothe and regulate your nervous system, we're going to do this little technique called Havening Touch. Now, this whole nervous system reset will involve Havening, and I'll guide you through how to do it in case it's new to you. And by the way, the word Havening, it just comes from the word haven, as in safe space. So you're just essentially telling your body that it's safe. So there are 3 main ways that you can do Havening Touch, and just choose whichever feels most comforting to you. And, you know, feel free to switch between them at any time. I've been doing all 3 every day. So the first way is to gently rub your palms together. So not your fingers, just your palms. Not too fast, not too slow, just at a pace and a pressure that feels right to you. That's the first one. The second way is to softly stroke down your upper arms from your shoulders to your elbow, one arm at a time. You can alternate, you can do both at once. Again, whatever feels more soothing. But just keep going down from shoulder to elbow, shoulder to elbow. Not up and down, just from the top down, from the top down. Not up, down, up, down, if that makes sense. And the third option is to lightly touch or stroke your face, you know, your cheeks, your forehead, even into your hairline if that feels nice. Just use your fingertips or your palms. There's no wrong way to do this. So go ahead now and just begin one of those movements. You can move between them as we go along, or you can just stick with one. If you find an area that feels especially nice, you know, spend more time there. And if something doesn't feel quite right, just skip it. This is all about what feels good for you. And as you start that Havening touch, just begin to slowly look around the room or space that you're in while you do it. So you're either rubbing your hands, rubbing your arms, or rubbing your face, and you're looking around the room. And just gently notice your surroundings. So notice the light coming in the window, the shadows, the shapes, and just let your eyes rest on a few different things. And I just want you to see if you can notice something shiny in the room with you. And now see if you can spot the smallest round object in your space. So a circle or a sphere, anything small and round. And keep doing your Havening touch and just take it all in, gently breathing as you go. And then when you're ready, if it's safe for you to do so, just allow your eyes to close. And then just begin to tune into the sounds around you. So you might hear my voice, maybe some background music, maybe sounds in your home or environment, maybe traffic, people, your own breath. And then just think, what's the closest sound to you right now? And now notice the farthest sound away that you can hear. And keep breathing, keep doing that Haven and Touch. Let all those layers of sound just exist around you. And then bring your attention to your sense of touch and really notice the feeling of your hands as they move. You know, the temperature of your skin, the texture of your palms, the ridges on your fingertips. And just notice how different it feels on your face or your arms compared to on your hands. And just continue that Havening touch and just bringing your awareness to your body. Feel where your clothes are touching your skin. Notice where your body makes contact with the chair, the bed, the floor, wherever you're resting right now. Where do you feel your weight the most? Is it soft or firm? Is it warm or cool? And then tune into your breath. Feel the air coming in and out through your nose. Feel your chest and tummy gently rising and falling with each breath. There's no need to change anything, just notice it. And then go a little bit deeper. Start to bring your awareness inside your body. Notice what you're feeling right now. Don't overthink it, just check in. How does your body feel? This is really important because one of the most misunderstood parts of nervous system regulation is thinking we're supposed to make the bad feelings go away. But true regulation isn't about escaping or pushing our feelings down. It's about creating that safe space to actually feel them, to allow them to move through us instead of getting stuck. Because when we avoid emotions or we try to resist them, they often create more stress and dysregulation. But when we meet them with compassion and awareness, like we're doing right now, we start to soften. We begin to reconnect with ourselves. So regulating your nervous system isn't about avoidance. It's about embodying that. It's about expanding your capacity to feel, to sit with discomfort in a way that feels safe, and to hear those whispers from within that are just wanting to be heard. And it's in that space that we begin to reclaim our inner peace and build resilience. And return to our natural state of calm and clarity. So just stay with yourself a little longer here. Keep doing that Havening Touch if that feels good. Keep breathing. Keep noticing. And that's it. It's really, really that simple to help regulate your body. That in a nutshell is how to regulate your nervous system to help you manifest more. And if you'd like to learn more about that, just Google nervous system regulation or Havening Touch. It really has helped me this last couple of weeks, and I hope that it helps you as well. It's really good for managing stress, anxiety, that kind of thing, and just regulating your nervous system. Okay, so we've come to the end of this episode, but what I want to tell you about is our gigantic indoor festival Manifest, which is happening in just under 2 months' time here in Newcastle upon Tyne. If you haven't got your tickets yet, head to cannycrystals.co.uk click Manifest from the main menu, or you can head to mani-fest.uk to go directly there. We've got some incredible speakers, if I do say so myself, such as Kirstie Gallagher, Francesca Amber, Kimberly Gallagher, Susie Ashworth, so many more. There's going to be free workshops also on meditation and mindfulness, sound healing, and yoga. And we've also got 30 independent businesses as well, such as tarot readers, Reiki healers, psychics, and more coming as well. It's going to be absolutely incredible. There are now just under 20 tickets remaining. Obviously, we'd love to have you there in person, but if for any reason you can't attend on the day, you can even get a virtual ticket where you can watch live on the day. And any type of ticket also gets you access to all of the recordings afterwards as well, so you can watch back to your heart's content. So come and join us at mani-fest.uk. It's on the 16th of June, 2025, here in Newcastle upon Tyne. I can't wait to see you there. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please don't forget to share this episode with a friend or you can even leave a rating or review on whatever platform that you're listening on. And I will see you all next Friday for another episode. Speak soon, guys. Bye!