221: The RESET formula, ft. Victoria Jackson

You wanna get your backyard summer ready, but you don't wanna break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July Clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget. Plus, surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Fourth of July Clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com.

Wayfair.

Every style.

Every home.

Acast powers the world's best podcasts. Here's a show that we recommend.

Go touch grass. You have probably heard this phrase. Maybe you have even said it. But beneath the sort of lighthearted nature of this meme is something very real and important: a growing sense that staying in touch with our humanity and being present in our bodies matters more than ever in in today's digital world. My name is Manoush Zomorodi, and I am taking over as host of TED Talks Daily this week to explore what technology is actually doing to your body and mind. In special interviews with scientists, doctors, parents, artists, and more, we're going to dig into your physical and mental health on tech. How we think about our bodies differently now, how we relate to new innovations that are amazing but also a little scary, and how we live a healthier life in this high-tech era. Tune in on TED Talks Daily wherever you listen to podcasts.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Can You Crystals? The podcast. I hope that you're all well. My name is Mart Tweedy, I'm your host, and this episode feels really special because today I'm having a conversation that is happening right now as part of a brand new book entering the world. And this isn't a surface level manifestation chat, We are going to be talking all about realignment, energetic integrity, identity shifts, embodiment, and what it truly means to become magnetic to your manifestations. This is a really honest, grounding, and deeply transformative chat, and it's the kind that meets you exactly where you are and guides you into who you're becoming. I'm so excited to welcome the founder of The Manifestation Collective and now the author of Reset: Realign Your Life and Become Magnetic to Your Manifestations, We've got Victoria Jackson on the show, everyone. Hello, Victoria.

How are you? Hello, my love. Happy New Year. If everybody's listening to this when it comes out, happy New Year. If you're listening to the future, then hello. I'm very happy to be here.

Happy New Year to you as well. Can you believe it's 2 years since our last podcast together?

I know. It's crazy, right? And how, what a full circle moment to think that my whole entire reset happened 2 years ago. And then we started 2 years ago. That was the catalyst. And then we're here now talking about it.

It's wild.

I love it. Like, I've absolutely loved and devoured this book. Like, I remember reaching out to you maybe 2 to 3 months ago, I'm gonna say, and I just told you— I remember just saying how flat I felt, and I was asking if you were doing any self-development courses or workshops. And just off the back of that conversation, you very kindly sent me an early copy of your book. So I started reading it between Christmas and New Year, and I just finished it last weekend. Now to me, Reset feels really raw and honest. There's a lot of personal stories in there as well. Like, what was happening 2 years ago in your life that made this book need to be written now?

So I had reached a point, and I feel like some people listening will resonate with this, I had reached a point where I was in situationship after situationship and never really finding, you know, someone who treated me very well. And my self-worth was really low, and it was kind of a catalyst for me to— and I write about this in the first part of the book by saying like, I had spent days in bed and I wasn't getting out of bed, you know, I wasn't eating properly, I really wasn't looking after myself. And it was funny because on the surface I was looking after everybody else, and you know, like we do in this industry, and when you run a business like this, and I was making sure that everyone was okay in my membership. And for me, in my core, I felt so out of alignment, so So just like you say, flat. And I think if somebody would ask me, you know, like, how is your life? I would have said, oh, it's fine. You know, it's fine. And I'm just like, I don't want to live a life that is just fine. I've got, there's so much magic available to us. And anyway, I decided, it was like I was like at rock bottom and I was like, right, I'm gonna go up. There's only one way to go, I'm gonna go up. And I started to just make small changes to my life and I ended up over the space of, I would say 18 months, but primarily a year, completely stripping back every single area of my life and rebuilding it back brick by brick. And my life, I mean, I look drastically different, but I feel drastically different to what I did like in March 2024 when I was like literally not getting out of bed for days because I was so like down. And then we're here now.

So yeah, on the other side of it I was going to say you look absolutely glowing. I'm not saying that you weren't before, but obviously now just seeing you, because I think the last time I actually— oh no, I was going to say the last time I actually saw you in person, but I saw you at Manifested. Now you just look like a different person than when I first met you.

Yeah, I feel like a different person. I think that's not— obviously we can look at how much, you know, I've released about 80 pounds in weight, and you know, like, I do a lot more exercise now, and you know, everything's changed in terms of mindset. But the biggest glow up I've had is in the level of self-worth. And I went on this entire journey of really— and that's what Reset is. I think when people see the book, the book title, it probably, you know, the right to probably assume, well, maybe it's like a changing your sheets and moving your furniture around and creating a new morning routine. And it's not. I created this entire formula, which is the Reset Formula, to understand why you feel so out of alignment rekindle audit, just to have a full life audit, and then look at yourself in terms of self-love, self-forgiveness, self-worth, self-devotion. There are self-trust, there are so many different parts of it. Because if you are just going to reset your life on a surface level, you know, where you do just create a morning routine, or you do, you know, move some furniture around, you're never going to finish the reset cycle, the loop. You're never going to close it. Um, and that's what I wanted to do. I wanted to finally stop the feeling of, okay, I'm gonna start again on Monday, I'm gonna start again next month. And I just wanted to close that loop and, and create this life that I knew was available to me. And that's what I did, and that's what I wrote about.

And in the book as well, you talk about unraveling before realigning, because I think we all have kind of breakdowns before we have those breakthroughs, don't we? Why do you think those breakdowns are often the gateway to our biggest breakthroughs then?

I, I mean, I wrote this saying that I often think it's like the universe will send you a catalyst because I think we are sent so many opportunities to realign and we ignore them. Like, I honestly was probably on my third situationship with somebody, and it was like I was in this, this— and I want to say situationship, if no, if people aren't familiar with that saying, it's, it's where you're in a, a non-committal relationship where somebody is not going to commit to you and I wasn't being treated very well, but I think what was happening was the universe was like, Vicky, I have sent you ample opportunities to understand that the, the thing that you— the, the way that you are seeing the world and the way that you are being treated is the way that you are treating yourself, and I need you to find— I think what happened is she didn't just— I say she for the universe— but she didn't just like nudge me, she finally just hit me around the head with a frying pan, and she was like, literally, this you need to change. And I think it can be one of the greatest things that can happen to us when you're in a point of just such, you know, flatness and lowness. And it, like, I know it sounds so cliché to say the only way is up, but really you are being propelled backwards so you can, you know, sorry, you're being pulled backwards so you can be propelled forwards.

I totally agree. I think even down to, you know, people's spiritual journeys, it tends to come from quite a negative story or a negative kind of thing that's happened in their life, doesn't it? And it propels them forward into the person that they've always meant to be. Yeah, it's almost like a little Saturn return for us, isn't it?

100%. And you, you know, I always say like you feel like you've lived different lives, and yeah, I do, I do. I feel like I've lived a life pre-manifestation, and now I feel like I've lived— I feel like I'm living a different life to pre, you know, resetting.

So when we talk about the reset formula in the book How did that come together as a framework rather than just another manifestation method?

I knew that I needed to, because at the time when I was doing it, it wasn't a formula, it wasn't anything, you know, I didn't have any plans to write a book, you know, it was nothing like that. I was like, right, I know that I work well when I do things in, in stages. And I was like, I can't focus on changing everything at once because my own personality, I know that I will try to change it all last 2 weeks and then I'll, I'll, you know, go back to where I was, or, you know, like, you know, things happen. So I said, right, I'm gonna do things differently this time because obviously it's not worked up until now. And I decided to do something which I call the power of one. And I said, all I'm going to do is focus on one thing for one month, and that was it. And all I knew, so the first month I said, all I want to do is focus on understanding what's out of alignment, and I'll just journal, and I don't need to think about anything else. Month 2, I was like, right, okay, now I feel like we know that the core of the issue is the self-worth. I want to start focusing on just building, like, keeping promises to myself. Only small promises, you know, it might just be go to a Pilates session once a week, and I'd go to it, and that would be the promise to myself. Then, you know, it would go on and on and on, and by the time, you know, it seems like such a slow process because the, the internet, sorry, will often say to us, change your life in 30 days. And what I knew from previous versions of me was that I would do that and then go straight back to where I was in the very beginning. It wasn't sustainable. So I knew that I needed to keep going every month. And then after a year, I was like, wow, life looks radically different. But it was the compound effect of making these small changes over the years. So when I looked and I was like, right, this is very clearly what I've done. I've you know, reflected. And then I've, you know, energetically, like, realigned. I've gone into my— all my entire life and, you know, rejigged everything and felt what was out of place and rebuilt it again. And then I looked at my self-worth and self-discovery, etc. Then I embodied my future self, and then I was learning to thrive. So when you look at all this, that's where the RESET, the R-E-S-E-T formula, comes from. And it just felt so powerful to be able to share that with people because it felt tangible. It wasn't just a, do this and your life will be different. It was like this. I mean, you'll know, Mart, from reading the book, I get you to do the work. Yeah, like, you are meant to do the work in this book. So yeah, really powerful.

I was going to say there's a lot of journal prompts in there, for example, and lots of little activities. Can I just say though, when you were saying R-E-S-E-T, I thought you were going to go, R-E-S-P-E-C-T.

I always say that. Don't make me start singing.

So let's talk about the formula itself, because as you say, reflection is the first step. Why do you think that awareness is so powerful, and why do you think that so many people tend to skip that part when they're trying to change their lives?

Honestly, I think it's because we are scared to get honest with ourselves. We're scared to be in a situation where we think, you know, I'm not happy in this relationship, or I'm not happy with my body, or I'm not happy with this job, whatever it might be where your life feels out of alignment. You might have, you know, a poor money mindset, and you're thinking, I'm scared to face that because I know what comes from it. And, you know, it can bring up a lot of things when you start to do this reflection work. And I know it certainly did me, especially when I started to do like a lot of work on my self-worth, understanding where that came from, and, you know, trying to overcome that and everything. So I think we're fearful of it, but honestly, it one of the most powerful things that you can do for yourself, to be brutally honest. And nobody needs to see these, these notes in your journal. This is, this is for you and you only. And in with the book, there is a portal that you can access on my website, and it's just got some tools that you can use. And in there, what I did is I created an EFT tapping session for people who can, who want to feel supported whilst they're doing this work, because I know it can uncover a lot. So It's a really gentle, like, I'd say like a 15-minute tapping session where you are literally saying to yourself, like, I know this work is difficult and I know that this is bringing up a lot, but I also know how safe I am in this moment. And it just provides that stability, I think, for people.

I love that. So in the book as well, you also speak a lot about energetic realignment. What do you think that that actually looks like in our day-to-day life, kind of beyond the spiritual language?

I think it's understanding where you're leaking energy most, and, you know, first and foremost, and where you might need to recheck your boundaries. I think a lot of us— I personally was a massive people pleaser, and I still have people, you know, pleasing tendencies now, but that was something that I really desperately worked on because I knew that it was a— it was, um, it ignited certain feelings in me, you know, of resentment and annoyance in me. And, you know, it was all down to me. It was nothing to do with anybody else. It was all me saying yes all the time when I should have been saying no sometimes. And I think it really just allowed me to spring clean not just my environment but my beliefs as well, and that the stories that I was telling myself, you know, I was telling myself so many stories out that would just weren't serving me at all. Like, for example, one of, one of the stories that I would repeat is that there are no decent men out there. There are no decent men out there, right? And I, you know, when I'm teaching people this, we— I don't even allow people to say nobody or everybody, or, you know, because it's grouping up. It's that word that is a lie. So I realized to check in with myself and, you know, say, what stories are you repeating, and etc. And that in itself was one of the most powerful things I could do, just to recognize what I was actually continually saying to myself in my head.

I was going to say, I loved the part especially about energetic currency and energy leaks. So how do you think people can start spotting where their own energy is being drained without actually realizing it?

I think, I mean, one of the great things is to do is maybe just, you could do it on a Friday, you could do it on a Sunday maybe, and just say to yourself like, where have I actually felt like my energy's been drained this week? And there might be things that you can do to— I'll tell you a prime example actually. I used to allow people to, um, I've got a membership called The Collective, and what I used to have, people could email me whenever they flooded with questions, etc. And obviously that was fine when there was 50 members, but as the membership grew to like— we're just under 300 members now— I was answering questions every single day, all the time. And I just— I knew when I was doing this reset within the business, because I redid a lot of things in the business as well, I couldn't— that, that was taking too much energy from me. So I put boundaries in place. Everybody was fine with it, you know, and I was so worried that they wouldn't be, but they obviously— they were. And it's a lot of things like that. It's like really taking stock of your life and doing a bit of a life audit, which the book asks you to do, to see where— and maybe, you know, I hate to say this, but maybe it's having conversations with people that are draining your energy. Maybe it's spending time with people that are draining your energy. And I'm not of the mindset to just automatically cut people off, but I think you can definitely look after your own energy and take stock of it.

So I know as well you mentioned about these daily energetic check-ins. So what does that look like for you? And what is your favorite kind of daily check-in practice that listeners could maybe start using immediately?

So one of my favorite daily checking practices is honestly, and I don't even know if this is in line with the question that you, that you, you, the answer that you won't love, but it is to say to yourself, how would my future self like approach this day? Or how would my future self— I, you know, sometimes I'll do it when I go to— it's like a midday check-in for me. So I'll go downstairs, I'll make peppermint tea, and while I'm waiting for the kettle to boil, I will literally check in with myself and just say, how is future Vicki gonna, you know, handle this afternoon? What decision is she gonna make? What action is she gonna take? And I start to tune in with that future version of me, and then it allows me to then step into that energy quite literally and be that version of me in the now.

You touched on this earlier as well about self-worth, but For me, I think it feels like a huge undercurrent throughout the whole book. So how does low self-worth quietly block our manifestations, even when people are, you know, doing everything right in inverted commas? Like, how does low self-worth just block our manifestations in its tracks?

You could be doing every technique under the sun. You could be, you know, visualizing, journaling. But if your core belief system is saying that you don't deserve what you are trying to manifest, that you don't deserve the love that you want, the money that you want, you know, whatever it might be, then it's really hard to become an energetic match to it. And what would happen for me is low self-worth would run throughout my entire life. So it wasn't just romance, it wasn't just love, it was, it was money, it was business. And what I found was happening was I could manifest something, but I couldn't keep hold of it. You know, I might, I might meet a nice guy but I didn't keep hold of that relationship because of my low self-worth I was projecting. Or I might receive a large sum of money, but I didn't believe that I was worthy of keeping it, so it would go— that energetic ceiling would, would come down, and I wouldn't, I wouldn't be able to hold on to it. So I think the reason why I wanted to make self-worth the real thread throughout the book is because it's such a core component to being a successful manifester.

And there's a section in the book, I've got it open on this page as well, about self-love. And I absolutely love this, but you've got where you take yourself on a solo date and you challenge yourself that for 3 months. Tell us about that, because I absolutely love that concept. It's something that I really want to start doing, but I want to step out of my comfort zone and get into that, because whenever I go to do something, it's always with another person. I want to start doing stuff like that.

Honestly, it was the best summer. So I literally said, I said, I'm not dating at all. Like, I literally said, right, this is it, this is you know, I'm decentering men, I'm really just gonna work on myself. And I was like, right, for 3 months, you are gonna date yourself. And I created this like Instagram series. And now the reason I did that is just to keep me accountable for doing it, for no other reason. And I, God, I'm trying to think about all the places that I went. At first, I'd just take myself to a cafe, you know, just to, with a book and to read. I did a sunset, like evening sunset at the beach. I, I think I did a candlelit concert. I took myself to— I actually did a concert at the MEN Arena.

Wow.

The hardest one I would say that I did for myself was taking myself for a meal on a Saturday night alone in a restaurant in town. And because that was— talk about exposure therapy. Like, it was surrounded by couples and families. And, you know, I, I asked her to sit me just on a wall. I didn't need to be sat in the middle of anything, and I took my book, so I felt like I had some anchors there with me. And I had my phone, obviously. But I sat there and I looked around, and I was looking at all these couples who were just on the phones. They weren't communicating with each other. They weren't, you know, they weren't having what I thought what looks like a good time. And I was like, God, this is so eye-opening for me to just sit here. And, you know, and I was speaking to the waitress, and she was like, I think it's amazing. Like, I want to do more of this. Stuff. And honestly, I think what people worry about the most is being seen to be alone outside, you know, like to not be with somebody. It's like, oh, you know, are they going to feel sorry for me? Actually, from doing it— I do it all the time now, I travel alone, I've been all over the world by myself— and people are just often just inspired or just inquisitive. Nobody really judges me or feels any certain way, I don't think anyway. But yeah, I loved it. It was the best thing I could ever have done. And what that did, keeping that promise to myself every single week, was an act of like self-building, that self-trust as well. It was, it was like, if I'm going to keep this promise to myself, it's showing me what I'm worth. And that's, that's what I did.

So I go on TikTok, and whenever I open it up, there's a guy called Sid Batty. I don't know if you've heard of him.

Yes. Yeah.

So he basically does this all the time. He takes himself on these little solo dates, and he's doing it to raise awareness for men's mental health. But isn't it funny that like spirituality and mental health are so interlinked? I find it fascinating. Obviously I'm from a mental health background in the NHS, but I always find it so fascinating that the two are so linked because obviously it's looking after your mental health, but like you were saying, it's also building that self-trust and that self-love in yourself. I just find it like fascinating. It is.

And I love Sid because what he does is really— if nobody follows him, he, he basically, he puts himself in situations where he knows he's going to be uncomfortable, but he does to kind of get out there and, you know, just expand his comfort zone. And I think it's amazing to watch. I just love— I love him.

Oh, um, something else I wanted to touch on was societal conditioning, because that comes up a lot in the book as well. How much do you think of what we actually believe about success or worth, you know, self-trust, hustle, isn't actually ours to carry?

Oh, so much. I mean, I, I think one of the things that really kind of makes me— I've got— what would I say? Makes me different. But it kind of just separates me, I would say, because I am— I'm 41, I'm child-free by choice, and I'm single, and I'm sober. You know, like, there are lots of different things that I am that are, I would say, against what I would— my friends and family, you know, society around me, they're kind— it's kind of going against the grain a little bit. And I think what it just allows people to do is when I speak about these things, it allows them to see actually there is a different way of living because we've become so accustomed to a certain way of, of being and what's expected of us, you know, should we have children, should we not have children, should we be in a relationship, should we not, you know, there are so many different things. I think it's so personal to you and I think what this book allows you to do is to get clear on what you desire for your life, not what you should be doing. I always say we, we have to release the shoulds of what, you know, especially what we see on social media as well. I think social media has influenced so much of our lives. And I was speaking to a friend earlier and I said, if we came off social media completely, I wonder if my buying taste would change. I wonder if my, like, taste in, in general would change because I'm not being subconsciously programmed all of the time when I'm going online.

It's so true. Because every time you open Facebook, you could have just like, I don't know, haven't been having a conversation, so I need to change the batteries in there. All of a sudden you're seeing adverts for bloody batteries, all different kinds and shapes. And it's crazy how much information your phone takes in and then gives you adverts to that because it's trying to persuade you to buy certain things, isn't it? Yeah, I always find that fascinating. It's like we are constantly being conditioned in one way or another, and if it's not from the internet It's from family or friends, or like you said, it's trying to keep up with the Joneses. Like, I use this example all the time, but I wanted a Range Rover purely on the basis that 2 or 3 of my friends had Range Rovers. That was the only reason. Test drove it, fell in love with it, bought it. It got on the, um, on the drive outside and I just thought, oh, it's not actually that good. Like, what about it? Like, what's next? You know what I mean? I just thought I'm going to reach enlightenment from buying this bloody Range Rover. 60 grand later, no better.

You want to get your backyard summer ready but you don't want to break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for style and budget, plus surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait, shop Wayfair's 4th of July clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com.

Wayfair, every style, every home. Rough, doll. I swear to God, I've had the same conversation this week, and I said I feel like last year and the year before, I, I bought a lot of things from ego, and it was like, I feel like, well, if I buy this or if I do this, then it's going to make me feel like I've made it, or, you know, and I got lost in that a little bit and I was saying to her, you know, I've got a Mercedes and it was on my vision board for ages, and actually it's awful in the snow. Like, it's awful to drive sometimes. And I was like, I miss my bloody Kia. Like, I had a really good Kia and I bought this Merc because it was like— and I want to be really mindful in what I'm saying here because I do understand that, you know, it's a privilege to buy certain things and have certain things, but I recognise that I bought that out of ego and I don't need to do that. I do— we just don't need to do that.

Yeah, it is just trying to show off, or, you know, it's, it's to serve your ego. It's not actually serving what you want, it's thinking what you should want, do you know what I mean? Like you were saying earlier.

Yeah, I think especially, I don't know about you, but because I come from a working-class background, I think because I didn't grow up having money, when abundance came into my life and I did a lot of work on my money mindset, it was almost like this gift that I was giving myself, like, well, you couldn't have things when you were younger, so you're gonna have it now. And it was like I was looking after that inner child a little bit by giving her the things that I wasn't able to have growing up. Like I was saying the other day, like, I've— oh, I was talking about like, I'm in my third— I've got 3 bathrooms in my house, and I was like, I've never had a downstairs toilet before. I've never moved into this house, and I was like, when I say that I'm living in my dream house, I'm talking about my dream house. I'm not speaking— it's not a mansion, but I'm talking about what it— what makes it a dream house for me.

Yeah, I think that's why I connect with you so much as well, because I know we're obviously both from working-class backgrounds. We've both had to work really hard for what have now. And I do feel privileged for where I am as to where I was maybe like 5 years ago, and I'm sure you do as well. But it's almost like not having things handed to you on a plate, it makes you work harder, doesn't it? It makes you strive for success, and because you're hungry for it, because it's something that you've never had. But then, like you say, it's once you've got hold of it, how to then keep hold of it without losing your grip. And I think forgiveness and forgiving your past, that plays quite a big part of that as well. And I know in the book you were saying it's quite a powerful part of the reset process. So why do you think forgiveness is so essential for that energetic freedom, even when it feels uncomfortable?

I think freedom is a great kind of way to describe it, because sometimes when you feel chained— I know that I did. If I think about the versions of Vicki that put up with the behavior that she did from people, and she did certain things in her I could hold on to that and it would stop me from moving into a new level of, of being and a new way of living. So I had to get really like honest with myself and clear about why I did the things that I did. And that's because I knew what I knew at the time. And you can only do what you do with what you know at the time. And I think it's really being compassionate to yourself to say, listen, there's a reason why you did that. And if you hadn't have done that, Regardless of what it was, you wouldn't be here now. Like, we're always led onto a path of, for some reason, and do it to do a certain thing a certain way. And I think it's just allowing yourself the grace, you know. I'm going to use an example. At the moment, I'm trying to break like a 20-year habit that I've got of watching something in bed to help me get to sleep. But I know having a screen on in bed, honestly, so many people are saying to me like, that's me. But What happens is I fall asleep with like The Office playing, for example, on my laptop, but then I wake up again in the middle of the night to close the laptop, or it's getting hot in bed with me or something. So I'm like, this is not a good way to be, Vicky. So let's see if we can break that. And I've, I've, you know, had a few successful nights by having this new evening routine. And then last night, I, you know, various things were happening. I've got— I had like a bit of a flare-up with my health and stuff, and I was like I'm gonna give myself the grace to just put it on in bed and, you know, watch some TV, watch some The Office in bed, and release the any kind of like, um, what's the word that I would be thinking of that I'd be feeling? I'd say disappointment. I'd be feeling disappointed in myself for not being able to stick to something 100%. That's not what we're doing. I, I do not accept the energy of having to be perfect because that's just not realistic. So yeah, give ourselves the grace.

Is it a noise thing or is it a light thing that you like while you go to sleep?

It's the noise thing, but you know what I found, which is, I think it was sent by the universe. So, The Office is my comfort show. I've watched it every single night for many, many years. And when I was thinking about it, I was like, well, it's not the screen because I'll often turn away from the screen and so I can just hear it. Anyway, I found this podcast where a guy literally narrates each episode of The Office in an ASMR style. So I've just got him on an i, and I'm listening to it, and in my head I'm actually visualising the characters and everything. But it was like the perfect way to, like, I don't know, I always feel like I romanticise things, and I wanted to romanticise my evening routine so it felt good. It wasn't like I was taking something away, because I don't think that works when you're creating a new habit. You have to make it feel good, like you're adding something to your life.

So I was going through the exact same thing, and it was only last year that I managed to break this as well, because I would always put Friends or Will Grace or something like that, just something comedy. I don't even know why, just so I felt like I was going to bed with a smile on my face. And then I would end up just turning over and facing the wall anyway, and Johnny, my partner, would be like, can we turn the TV off? And I'm like, no, I need it to go to sleep. So I found this little sleep band. It's like a sleep mask. I don't know if you've seen them. They've got speakers built into the ears. It doesn't feel like you're wearing headphones, but honestly they are incredible. And I go to sleep listening to subliminals every single night. I just absolutely love it. And it feels like I've romanticized my bedtime routine. That's what it feels like. And I don't need the TV anymore because I've got like ocean waves or water sounds or something like that. Bearing in mind though, the other day it was like running water and like almost like underwater noises, and I had a dream I was stuck on the Titanic and I couldn't get off. So yeah, yeah, you're just like, right, I'm gonna be really careful. Yeah, so I'm gonna have to choose wisely. But I can't listen to podcasts, you see. If I try and listen to a podcast, I get so invested in the episode I have to stay up until it finishes. Where if it's just white noise or nonsense, I just need some kind of noise. But anyway, getting back to your book, you talk about identity shifting rather than just goal setting as well. So why do you feel that becoming is more important than doing when it comes to manifestation?

I am so kind of passionate about telling people that we have to be before we can become. Like, you have to change your self-concept at the core, and that's how you become your future self. Because when you— like I say, the stories that we tell ourselves, the language that we use. And I'll use the example that I use in the book where I wanted to find an exercise because I, I really was— I never moved my body. I didn't move my body at all. I really even walked— like, if you— if I did step count, it'd be like 300 steps a day. I did very little exercise. And I was like, no, but in this new level of life that I'm moving into, you know, I'm going into my 40s, I want to be as strong as possible. And I was like, instead of telling myself that I am going to start Pilates, the language I'm going to use is, I am a Pilates girl. I like, I am a Pilates girl. That's what I do. That's who I am. And it's almost like saying it with so much conviction that your subconscious is starting to think, oh, that's, that's who you are then. That's, that's That's what our belief is. And then what happens is you repeat this language so, so often that you then start to change your action, you start to change your behaviours. And, and you— and what happened is I then booked a class, which is obviously the action that you need to take. I went to the class, fell in love completely, so much to the point that I've done it consistently for, um, since October 2024. And I've got— I'm getting my own reformer delivered on Thursday, like 2 days. So I can't wait to have one at home. And it just became such an amazing part of my mental health journey, I would say. Obviously physically it's amazing because I feel nice and strong, but mentally, oh, it's been one of the best things I could have ever done. And now I do like badminton, I'm joining a rounders team, and my friends honestly are like, I'm sorry, but who is this? Who the hell is this? You have not moved 40 years and what's happening now?

I love it. Hats off to you as well because reformer Pilates Honestly, I saw a couple of weeks ago when you posted saying that you've just bought yourself one of the beds, and I was like, oh my God, I remember going to a class and I think I'd put me legs like too far off the sides, and all of a sudden me legs went off and that thing came flying back towards us. And then there was another time where we were doing like side planks and I had one arm on the top bit and me, me legs on the bottom bit, and we were like doing ab crunches, side ab crunches. Oh my God, I fell straight through onto the floor.. I just felt like such an idiot. So hats off to you, because honestly, I have no core strength whatsoever.

One of my beliefs that I was telling myself was, oh, I'm gonna fall off, I'm gonna, you know, be a beginner, and everyone's gonna laugh at me, and I've not got a matching workout set. Because, you know, you see, you see this aesthetic online of Pilates, for example, reformer Pilates, and I'm like, I don't have that body, I don't. But, and I was like, no, Vicky, that's not the language that we're going to use. Like, I'm going to go to a beginner's class 'Yes, so therefore everybody's going to be a beginner.' And I had to talk myself through every stage. And I think it's that identity shifting of literally being something before you become it, and telling yourself that you, you know, I'm not trying to say fake it until you make it, but for example, manifest. I said to you, 'Yes, I would love to speak on stage.' At the time, I was crapping myself, okay? But I thought, 'No, Vicky, the version of you that speaks on stage in front of 500 people is confident. She's calm, she's prepared, she's, you know, all of these things. And I had to keep telling myself that. And if anybody was next to me in my hotel room the morning of Manifest, I was walking up and down and I was going, I'm confident. No, but I am calm. I'm confident. I should be on stage. I'm meant to be here. And those are the affirmations I was repeating to myself. And then I had the best time. It was the best experience ever.

And you know what, you wouldn't have even noticed because I totally see you as the queen of future self embodiment. For anyone that was at Manifest 2025, you'll know exactly what I mean by that. Like, Victoria's future self visualization was so powerful that I've even been logging into the videos and doing it myself for the last few weeks especially. Like, I love it so much. But I think embodiment is a word that people hear a lot but they don't always understand. So how do we know when we are truly embodying our future self?

I think it's when you realise that you are making choices differently to what you would have done previously. I think it's kind of, you know, if I give an example of, I got a text message from the man who was the catalyst for the whole Reset book being written. He didn't know that, he never will know that, he won't have that satisfaction. But he messaged me and he was like, "Hey, you know, like, I miss you, you know, I'd love to meet up." And I just thought, the version of Vicki who had before done all this work, I'd be like, oh my God, I can't believe he's messaged me. And then I looked at the card and just thought, I don't even want to reply to you. So I didn't. I never replied to him. I just deleted the message straight away. And it was just such a— I think that in itself was such a small moment of younger Vicki looking at me and thinking, oh, thank you, thank you for doing that, you know, like. And it was me just like kind of guiding her and being in that energy. And what I will say is the whole book isn't about relationships. It's not. It's a— the first bit is about being in that situationship had been the catalyst. But it— then I was like, right, I'm, I'm dating myself from this moment on.

What's one identity shift that changed everything for you personally then?

I think it's the affirmation that I repeat, and I don't think I've actually put this in the book, but I had an affirmation I repeated through the whole process was, the more that I nourish my mind, body, and soul, the more magnetic I am to opportunities and abundance. And I, and I've said that every day for the past— God, now I'm coming on to 18 months, 2 years now. And I truly believe now, and it's so weird, and that this is the magic of the subconscious, that when I go to Pilates or when I fuel my body with beautiful, you know, energy fuel and, you know, really look after myself, I get more money coming in my bank account. And now, how funny, but it's because I to, you know, I, I'm saving up for this house, to buy this house that I'm in now. And, you know, all these reasons that we love abundance flowing in so we can give more, we can be more. And I now have this identity that the more I look after myself and nourish myself, the more I'm magnetic I'm gonna be.

I love it. So Reset doesn't promise instant perfection, does it? How do we allow ourselves to thrive while we're still evolving and healing?

Oh God, I mean, literally, I think it's about, like I say, the compassion, the, the grace that you give yourself. I think it's about romanticizing every day. I think one of the most— the best— I think in the book as well, we talk about like little rituals that you can do because you're not trying to reach an end goal, although you are in some aspects, you know, if you're trying to release a certain amount of weight or you're trying to attract a certain amount of abundance. But what I will say is there are ways that you can romanticize your everyday and really make it feel like you are enjoying the journey rather than just waiting for the end goal. Because honestly, I am the sort of person that tried to reach goal after goal after goal and realized I was constantly chasing. And I was like, what is this? This is not— this is not what I'm going to reach the end of life and be thinking, all I did was try to get to the next goal. So now I'm very much in an energy of of just enjoying the moments of magic in every day.

Absolutely love it. So you're coming to Manifest 2026 as well, aren't you? You're going to deliver a beautiful visualization workshop. What can people expect when they come in?

I think for me, I really want to— because we're doing it in a, in a much more intimate setting as well now, which I can't wait for because it'll be very different to— I mean, I love the room that we're in because when I was doing it, you could hear a needle drop. Like, I— it was so quiet. Like, I loved it, and you could feel the energy in the room, we're going to do a much more like intimate setting this time. And I think what I want to lead people to is to forgive a past version of themselves before they step into that future version. And just to— I think it'd be really, really powerful. And just to allow people to envision, because I'm— I, I truly believe in the power of visualization. This is what I spoke about at Manifest. And I think it's really beautiful to get clear on this next level of your life, you know, and forgive yourself and release yourself and release old chains, and then allow yourself to dream bigger than you ever have done.

Have you heard of Ho'oponopono before?

Yes.

Yeah, yeah. So I love that where it's like, I forgive you, I love you, thank you. I do that all the time because I really struggle with forgiving people. I'm always holding grudges. I need to come into this workshop, Victoria.

Yeah, you know what, it's, um, Denise Duffield-Thomas, it was, that introduced me to, to that technique. It's so powerful.

Yeah, anyway, it is. And you can grab your tickets right now to come and see Victoria at mani-fest.uk, where you'll see all the event information. So for me, Victoria, just one final question. For someone listening to this right now who feels stuck or drained or disconnected from their magic, what would you say is the very first step to initiating their own reset?

I would look at— I'd just say, get a journal. And I would look at all the different areas of your life. I would look at like health, money, career, home, friends, family, and self. And when I say self, I mean like personal development, hobbies, leisure, etc. And I would literally just mark them out of 10. And, you know, just see, you know, 10 being I feel the most content I ever have done, and then 1 being like I feel like crap, like this is not the place I want to be. And just start to recognise what areas of your life you might want to change. And don't think you need to change everything at once. Just choose one area. And if it's home, start to think, okay, you know, what is it that I— is there something that I can change this week? Because there are some things that we cannot change overnight, right?

Right.

But is there something that you can make a small change? And start to look at your life. I call it a life snagging list, where you literally just create a big long list of all the things that you need to sort out. Maybe it's booking a doctor's appointment, maybe it's, you know, doing your tax return, whatever it is, because we have all of these things going around in our head, and sometimes it's amazing to just get them out of our head and onto paper. So you create your life snagging list and just tick something off. Just build that self-trust and build that kind of belief in yourself that you can do this. And, and don't expect everything to change overnight. That's not what we're doing. But you can improve your, your life, your energy by 1% every day. Then wow, you're going to be in a completely different place a year from now.

Oh, Victoria, as always, it's been a sheer delight to chat with you today. I see so many similarities between me and you. I know I was saying this earlier, but I just think it's because we both offer such like a no-nonsense approach to manifestation. It gives real-life experience from a different perspective. I think a lot of teachers and coaches out there, they've had things handed to them, whereas people like us, like I say, have really had to work hard to get to where we are today. And I think it really shows, especially with yourself I just think you're so honest, relatable, and from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for coming on the pod to talk about your Reset book today. I really do appreciate it. Where can people find you and purchase Reset?

So they can purchase it on my website, so it's all through me, um, which is a completely different way. So my third book now, it's a completely different way of doing it. So if you come over to themanifestationcollective.co or just come to my Instagram and you can find it there and it's in the bio and And yeah, I'm so excited for people to read it. I can't believe it's finally out in the world now.

Are you shipping all the orders yourself, by the way?

Lisa, I don't want to talk about it. Yes, I am. I am. But it's because I have an American publisher, so there it's over in America, but I'm the UK wholesaler.

I love it.

And it's, but you know, it's been so lovely to sit and sign the books. It's been so beautiful to actually, it's feel like I'm actually sending people a piece of me. Like, I've loved it.

Amazing. For everyone listening as well, I'll pop all of those links in the show notes for today's episode. And if you've loved listening along to the pod today, please go and rate, review, subscribe to show your love and support. As always, I will pop Victoria's handle in there as well. Go and grab yourself a copy of Victoria's book Reset and have a beautiful week ahead. I'll see you all next Friday for another episode. Speak soon, guys. Bye!

You want to get your backyard summer ready, but you don't want to break the bank? Wayfair gets it. Planning on dining alfresco or relaxing poolside? Wayfair has everything you need to prep your space. Shop now and save up to 70% off during Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance. Score huge deals on outdoor furniture, area rugs, and more. We're talking thousands of products for every style and budget. Plus, surprise flash deals July 6th. Don't wait. Shop Wayfair's Fourth of July clearance now through July 6th at wayfair.com.

Wayfair.

Every style.

Every home.

Every wireless service comes with a cost, right? Wrong. The TextNow app lets you do your thing for free. Get real talk, real text, and 5G data for must-have apps with no monthly bill.

Need more data?

Add it right from the app. Done? Go back to free. No long-term contracts, no pressure, no surprises. Just wireless that works around you.

TextNow.

We've got your back. Download TextNow in your app store today.

Wireless plans require the purchase of a SIM card. Visit textnow.com for terms and conditions.

Acast powers the world's best podcasts.

Here's a show that we recommend. A photographer in Texas earns an extra $47,000 a year shooting Star Wars cosplay portraits. A teacher in Maryland turns her woodworking hobby into a 5-figure side income without leaving the classroom. And a couple in Pennsylvania will rent you backyard chickens for the season so you can try the egg-laying life without commitment. My name is Chris Guillebeau. I'm the host of Side Hustle School. I share these kinds of stories every single day. In detail with full transparency about the numbers. The point isn't just to inspire you, it's to show you what's possible. Proof that ordinary people are quietly building extra income in surprising ways, including a few ideas you can borrow. Less than 10 minutes a day, every day. Subscribe or follow Side Hustle School wherever you get your podcasts, or find us directly at sidehustleschool.com.

Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com.