225: You can still manifest your dream life, even as a parent!

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Hello everyone, welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast.

I hope that you're all good.

My name is Mart Tweedy, I'm your host, and this week I was kind of wondering what to do an episode about because my mind's just truly been in the shed with childcare. And then I was on a Facebook group and I was just having a look through what someone was saying, and she said something along the lines of, "I work 9 to 5, I've got a child, I just don't have time to manifest." This really fucking triggered me, let me tell you. So before I go any further, I'm obviously coming at this of an angle of, "Here's what you can do," rather than, "Well, I've got a kid and I manage." Do you know what I mean? Because I know everyone is different and I know overwhelm levels are different for us all. Like, for example, I've got a dog, I've got a 2-year-old son, I've got Canny Crystals, the Academy, the podcast, a membership, live courses and challenges running at the same time. Organize and manifest for June, lots of other plates that I'm spinning at the same time, but I still always find the time to go to the gym and spend quality time with me son and me partner. So I wanted to do this episode to help people who feel like they are truly stuck with where they are in life right now, and for those people that feel like they don't have the capacity to be able to manifest their dream lives, because I'm here to tell you, you do, okay?

You do.

And I want to be really clear about something straight away. When I say you do still have the capacity I don't mean that you're failing if you're not journaling every morning, or meditating for 20 minutes, or visualising, scripting, affirming, drinking lemon water at 6 AM. That's not what this episode is about. Because if that's what manifestation required, I think most parents would be completely written off, wouldn't we? And that just isn't true. I can't do half of that because first thing on a morning, I'm met with a screaming child who just wants his juice and his toast, and it's nigh on impossible to do anything when he's smacking us in the face with an iPad and crayons. What I see time and time again is parents thinking that manifestation has to look the same as it did before they had kids. So the same routines, same energy, same focus, same output. And when it doesn't, the conclusion that they immediately come to is, "Well, I can't manifest anymore. This just isn't the season for me. I can't do it." And honestly, I think that belief alone does more damage than the lack of time ever could, because becoming a parent doesn't block your manifestation ability. It changes it, but it doesn't block it. Your energy changes, your priorities change, your nervous system naturally changes, your identity changes, and who you are. And if you're trying to force your old way of manifesting into a completely different version of your life, of course it's going to feel hard and frustrating and like you're constantly falling short. And I know that maybe for— I'm going to say for the best part of the first year with my son, I didn't look after myself at all. I did absolutely zero self-care.

I hadn't channeled in months.

I hadn't even so much as touched me crystals or cleansed them or anything.

And this voice in me head just kept on going round and round saying to meself, like, how are you supposed to show up online and teach all this stuff when you're not even practicing it yourself? So before we even get into the practical things that you can do as a parent, I want to start with this first shift, and it's probably the most important one. So take note of this, because manifestation after becoming a parent isn't broken it's evolved. And what I mean by that is, if you don't acknowledge that shift, you'll just keep thinking that you're behind when actually you're just working with a different operating system now. When you're not a parent, I think a lot of manifestation work can come from desire, excitement, vision, and future focus, because we're always looking to the future and what's next, aren't we? But when you're a parent, especially in the early years, you don't get time for that. Your system is often solely in protection mode. You're thinking more about safety or responsibility, routines, keeping the family alive, functioning, fed. Now that doesn't mean that you're not manifesting. It just means that your energy is being used a lot differently than what it was before. And if you're judging yourself for that, then you're fighting the very thing that needs your support. So the first thing I wanna talk about is why becoming a parent changes your manifestation energy and why understanding that alone can take so much pressure off and actually help things start to flow again. So when I talk about like manifestation energy changing as a parent, what I'm really talking about is capacity.

So not time management or discipline. I'm on about capacity here because before kids, a lot of people manifest from excess energy.

You know, we might be tired, busy, stressed, but there's usually still some space at the end of the day to think about yourself or your goals or your future or whatever it is that you want in life.

So you've got a bit of room to daydream, in other words. There's a bit of room to plan your future and room to sit in your own head for a little bit. But when you become a parent, that space gets shared, okay?

It gets taken up by your children or your partner, so your attention is split in ways that it has never been split before.

So you're responsible for another human being's safety and well-being, emotions, routine, development, and half the time you're doing it on very little sleep. So of course your energy is going to feel different.

Of course your brain is going to feel like it's constantly being pounded with a sledgehammer.

Of course it's going to feel harder to focus on the bigger picture when you're just trying to get through that day. And this is where so many parents go wrong without realizing it, because I think they often compare their current capacity to a version of themselves that just no longer exists, so they're constantly looking over the shoulder at their own past. And they expect the same clarity, motivation, and ability to sit and visualize.

But obviously, when that doesn't happen, they assume that something is wrong with them. Let me tell you, nothing is wrong with you. Your nervous system is doing exactly what it's designed to do. It's prioritizing care, safety, and survival. Now, that doesn't switch manifestation off. It just means that the way the energy moves through you is obviously different now. So a regulated nervous system manifests far more effectively than an overwhelmed one. And I think parenting is one of the biggest nervous system activators that there is. So if manifestation feels harder, it's not because you're failing, it's because your system is carrying more than it was. And that brings me to the next thing that's on my list that really needs talking about, which is that manifestation was never ever meant to rely on long stretches of quiet time or perfect routines or uninterrupted focus. That's just the version that we've been sold. And if you're wanting for your life to slow down before you start manifesting properly again, you're going to be waiting a bloody long time, aren't you? You're going to be waiting at least 18 years, because manifestation doesn't come from how much time you have. It comes from how you use those moments that you're already in. And this is where I want to gently challenge the idea that you need more time before you can create anything meaningful, because as a parent, I think time isn't something that you're randomly just gonna, you know, get back in big chunks, is it? It comes in pockets or in stolen moments when the baby's asleep or when your partner's asleep, or it might be when you're in the car driving to work or in the shower when you've got that 5 minutes of peace and quiet on a morning, or maybe in that quiet moment before everyone wakes up, or even at night like it is for me right now. Everyone else has gone to bed, everyone's finally asleep, this is my me time. If manifestation only worked when you had an hour to yourself and in complete silence, then it wouldn't work for many people, probably the vast majority, 99% of people, but especially not parents. So the work isn't about finding more time, it's just about letting go of the belief that what you're already doing isn't enough. So many parents, I think, dismiss their own efforts because they don't look like what they used to do. So a thought in the car might not count, a deep breath doesn't count, a quiet intention set while making a cup of tea doesn't count. But trust me when I say this, it all counts and it all matters because it's all going to add up. Your energy isn't built in one big ritual, is it? It's built in all those small repeated moments where you choose to come back to yourself instead of completely abandoning yourself. And I think this is where guilt creeps in for a lot of parents because I've been feeling so guilty lately about lots of different things in my life, like guilt about wanting more, guilt about still having dreams even though I've got me son now, whereas, you know, some people can't have children, for example. Or even having guilt about, like, focusing on meself when so much of me life revolves around somebody else. There's kind of like an unspoken pressure that once you become a parent, your goals, your desires have to shrink, or at least be put on hold for the child. As if wanting growth, fulfillment, money, purpose, or space actually makes you selfish. Well, spoiler alert, it doesn't. In fact, I think suppressing what you want creates far more tension than acknowledging it ever could. Because when you ignore your own needs, your nervous system stays in a constant state of pushing through. And pushing through isn't aligned, is it? It's survival. Your children will not benefit from you erasing yourself.. They're going to benefit from you being regulated, fulfilled, and connected with who you actually are. So wanting more, it doesn't take away from them. It teaches them that it's safe to honor themselves too, and that it's safe for them to honor their values and their goals as well. And I think this is why manifestation as a parent often needs to become much more grounded and much less performative, because it's not about being high vibe 24/7. It's not about false gratitude when you're absolutely bloody exhausted. Like, as I record this right now, I'm laying on our spare bed in our spare room on the middle floor. I'm absolutely shattered. I'm absolutely shattered, right? But it's more about working with your nervous system instead of fighting it, because when your body feels safe, even in like small ways, your energy shifts naturally. And when your energy shifts, so does what you attract. Not because you've done more, but because you've stopped resisting exactly where you are. And then that kind of leads us into the really practical side of this, like how do you actually manifest in real parent life without adding another thing to your to-do list or another reason to feel like you're falling short? Because it doesn't need to be complicated, and it definitely doesn't need to be perfect. So I want to bring this into real life because I know for a lot of you listening, the second something sounds like another practice or tool, your shoulders tense up straight away. And that's not what this is about. That's not why I wanted to do this episode. This is more about weaving manifestation into the life that you already have not creating a whole new version of yourself that you then have to try and keep up with. Okay, so manifestation as a parent, it happens in the background of your every single day. So it's happening when you're doing the school run or the nursery run, while you're cooking, while you're tidying up toys for the 10th time. And I think it's less about sitting down to do something and more about how you're relating to yourself as you move through your day. For example, when you're in the car, Instead of mentally replaying your to-do list of everything that you didn't get done, you might want to gently set an intention for how you want to feel that day instead. Not what you need to achieve, not what has to happen, just how you want to feel. So it could be that you want to feel calm or supported or capable. That's manifestation. It's energy. Or maybe when you notice yourself feeling stretched or snappy or overwhelmed, Instead of pushing through and criticizing yourself for not coping better, you could just pause and regulate. Take one deep breath, both feet on the floor, a hand on your chest. That's not self-care bullshit, it's literally nervous system regulation, and a regulated system is always going to be more receptive. One of the biggest mindset shifts here is to understand that manifestation doesn't live in special moments, it lives more in consistently repeated ones. So the tools that work best as a parent are usually the ones that fit into what you're already doing anyway. So one really powerful one that I can think of off the top of me head is intentional transitions. Parents move through loads of transitions every day, like waking up, leaving the house, nursery or school drop-off, starting work, picking the kids up, bedtime. So instead of seeing these as rushed stressful moments, they become anchors for us. So just a quiet intention as you move from one thing to the next, nothing fancy, something like, "I now choose calm. I'm supported today. I don't have to do this all alone," because that alone starts to shift your energy without taking up any extra time. Another tool that works incredibly well for this is body-based regulation, because manifestation doesn't happen in the mind alone. When you're dysregulated, visualizing or affirming feels false, doesn't it? So things like placing one hand on your chest, one hand on your stomach for 3 slow breaths, pressing your feet firmly into the floor, noticing the weight of your body, gently unclenching your jaw and your shoulders when you notice tension. All of these are literal, like, signals to your nervous system that you're safe, and safety is what allows that energy to move. You could also reframe your inner dialogue, which becomes even more important as a parent, doesn't it? Instead of, "I don't have time," or, "I can't do this right now," you just shift it to, "This is a different season. I'm doing what I can with the time that I've got." That might sound small, but your system hears that difference. And when your system stops feeling attacked, it's going to open up. Another super powerful manifestation tool that most people kind of bypass is listening to subliminals. I think this is one of the most parent-friendly manifestation hacks that there is because it works in the background of your life rather than asking you to sit down and focus. So you don't need silence or concentration. You don't need to be in the right mindset. You can just have them playing while you're cleaning, or while you're cooking, or while you're driving, or working, or even while you're asleep. That's a huge hack. Your conscious mind doesn't have to actually physically do anything, which is exactly why they're so supportive when your mental load is already full. So subliminals work by gently bypassing the overthinking mind, and they speak directly to the subconscious, where most of our beliefs actually live. And as a parent, that's huge, isn't it? Because when you're tired or overwhelmed, the conscious mind is usually the loudest and the most resistant. So subliminals just soften that. They're also really helpful if you find affirmations hard to say out loud or visualization difficult to access right now. You don't even have to believe in them for them to be effective. You just have to let them play. And again, this isn't about adding another thing to your to-do list. It's about choosing tools that support you without demanding anything from you. Tools that meet you exactly where you are instead of expecting you to show up as someone that you don't currently have the capacity to be. Now, I've got subliminals on my website. They start at just £3. In fact, they're all £3. I don't know why I said start at £3. And you can literally get them for lots of different things— for enhancing your wealth, enhancing your health, um, upgrading your success, your luck, fertility. Honestly, there are so, so many on the website. Can you crystals.co.uk. Use the code PODCAST, you'll get 10% off them as well. But getting back to what I was actually talking about, that's the theme running through all of this, isn't it? Manifestation that fits into parent life, not manifestation that makes you feel like you're failing at it. And I think finally, one of the most important tools is to just give yourself permission. Giving yourself permission to want more without that guilt, or permission to move slower, or permission to build something in the background of your life. Permission to not be perfect 24/7. That alone releases so much resistance because manifestation as a parent isn't about forcing energy, it's about allowing it. And when you stop fighting the season that you're in, things will start to meet you exactly where you are. Even the way you speak to yourself matters more now than ever. If your internal dialogue is constantly telling you that you're behind or you're failing or you're not doing enough, then no amount of visualizing is going to override that, is it? But if you start meeting yourself with a bit more compassion and honesty, your energy is going to naturally soften. And when that energy softens, things will start to move. And this is where redefining success as a parent becomes essential, because success in this season might not look like massive leaps or instant results. It might look like consistency in tiny ways. Maybe choosing yourself, maybe staying connected to what you want even if you're not actively chasing it right now. So you're not pausing your dream life by being a parent, you're just building it differently. You're laying the foundations in a way that's sustainable and embodied and real. This is real life after all. And if you've been telling yourself that, "Nah, this just isn't my time," that you'll come back to yourself later, I want you to hear this. You don't need to wait for life to be quieter to start living in alignment. You don't need perfect conditions to create momentum. You're not behind, you're in it. This is real life. And if you're a parent listening to this trying to build something meaningful while carrying a lot, like, I see you. You're doing far more than you realize. And I think this is the bit that really needs landing, doesn't it? Because so many parents quietly believe that they're treading water. That nothing is really happening, or that they're just getting through the days, and that their real life is going to start again later once their kid goes to university or college, when things are easier, are calmer, are less demanding. But that belief is going to keep you so disconnected from the fact that you're actually shaping your future every single day. So, the way that you respond under pressure, the way that you speak to yourself when you're exhausted, the choices that you make when you don't have much left in the tank, All of that is information that you're feeding your system, and your system listens far more closely to what you do in those moments than to anything you say in a vision board session. When you choose to regulate instead of react, you're telling your body that it's safe. When you honor your needs instead of ignoring them, you're reinforcing self-worth and self-esteem, and that's manifestation in its most embodied form. And this is why comparing yourself to non-parents or to a past version of yourself is such a trap. You're not working with the same inputs anymore. Your life is fuller, heavier at times even, and it's a lot richer in responsibility, isn't it? That doesn't slow manifestation down, it just gives it a bit of depth. So your dreams don't need to be forced through exhaustion to be valid. They don't need to be rushed to prove anything. They just need to be held alongside the reality that you're actually in, not instead of it. And maybe the most important reframe here is that your children and your kids aren't in the way of your dream life. They're part of the environment that you're manifesting in. They are going to shape your values, your boundaries, your resilience, your priorities, all of which are going to influence what you call in next. So if manifestation feels a bit quieter right now or softer, that doesn't mean that it's weaker. It often just means it's more integrated or more stable. And more aligned with who you actually are right now. So if you take only one thing away from this episode today, it's that you don't need to earn the right to want more just because you're a parent. You're allowed to build a life that fulfills you alongside raising your children. Those two things are not in competition, they are connected. And I'll be honest, this is something that I come back to meself again and again because even when you know all of this, even when you teach this stuff on a day-to-day basis like I do, and I talk about it 24/7, it's still really easy to slip into that mindset of, you know, I'll just focus on me later, I haven't got time for this today, this just isn't the season of my life right now. Especially on those hard days, like, especially like today, I've had so much going on. I've been working since about 7 o'clock this morning. It's now 10:30 at night and I am absolutely shattered. But the truth is, later isn't guaranteed, and neither is more capacity. What is available to you is how you meet yourself right now. Whether you're tired, whether you're behind on work, whether you're feeling like everyone else is moving faster than you are, it's how you meet yourself right now. Manifestation as a parent is about a relationship with yourself, your relationship with your body, your expectations, and if those relationships are built on pressure or self-judgment, then even when life does get quieter, you're still going to feel like you're chasing something. But if they're built on truth and honesty and trust, self-respect, then momentum is naturally going to build in small ways. You don't need to be doing more, you just need to be less at war with where you are. And I think that's the biggest permission piece here. You're allowed to build your dream life slowly. You're allowed to do it imperfectly, and you're allowed to want more and still love the life that you have. Those things don't cancel each other out. So if you're listening to this right now and you've been telling yourself that manifestation isn't for you in this phase of your life right now, or that you've missed your chance, or that you'll come back to yourself when the kids are older, I really want you to question that today because you're not paused. You're not failing, you're just manifesting from a different place now. It's, it's a deeper place as well. It's a more embodied place. And I think once you start honoring that instead of fighting it, things are going to begin to shift in ways that feel far more sustainable for you. And if nothing else, I hope that this episode has helped you breathe out a little bit, to feel less alone in it, because we're all in this together. Just to remember that your dream life doesn't disappear when you become a parent, it just grows alongside you. It's not about doing more, it's just about trusting that who you are becoming in this season of your life matters. Okay, you don't need to wait for more time, more energy, or a quieter life to be worthy of what you want. You're allowed to want a life that supports you as much as you support everyone else. So even if today, if all you do is meet yourself with a bit more compassion, that counts. That is alignment. So for every parent out there trying to manifest a dream life while juggling nappies, school runs, work, exhaustion, everything else in between, I see you, I feel you, you're doing a lot bloody better than you think. So I hope that you've enjoyed listening to this episode. Maybe you're a parent, maybe you're not, but I think even if you're not a parent, you could probably still take something from this episode if you are short on time or overwhelmed or burnt out by responsibility. So I do hope that this helps you in some way, shape, or form. Please, if you can leave me a rating or a review wherever you're listening to this podcast from. It really does help me out. And just quickly before I go, if you are wanting to come to Manifest 2026 here in Newcastle this year, don't forget to grab your tickets if you haven't already, because there are now less than 100 tickets remaining. And you know how many people were disappointed last year. I don't want that to happen again. Remember, if you can't make it to Newcastle, you can always watch the live stream of both days, um, from the comfort of your own home as well. With our virtual ticket, you get a a private link to watch the event as it unfolds in real time, and you get access to the replays as well. So excited for all of that. Just over 4 months to go. I'm absolutely buzzing for it. It's going to be an incredible weekend. But in the meantime, I hope that you all have an amazing week ahead, and I will see you all next Friday for another episode. Speak soon, everyone. Bye!

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