227: If you keep manifesting and then losing it... this is why!

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Hello, American podcast listeners. Max Rushton here from The Guardian Football Weekly, which I think you should give a listen. It is good. It comes out 3 times a week, and the podcast delivers you analysis, news, both the good and the bad from the beautiful game, and maybe even the occasional laugh. He's angry about everything.

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Acast helps creators launch, grow, and monetize their podcasts everywhere. Acast.com. Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all well, hope that you're having a good week. My name is Mart Tweedy, I'm your host. If this is your first time listening, welcome to the club. This week I have been super busy. I moved office spaces. So to put things into perspective, I was being charged round about £1,000 a month for a tiny little office that I had on the Quayside here in Newcastle. And this office, I moved into it 4 years ago. When I started Canny Crystals 5 years ago, it was up in what is now my little boy's room upstairs. When I say little boy's room, I mean my child's room, not the little boy's room as in the toilet. And, um, So yeah, I moved everything out of his, what is now his nursery, and I moved it down to this little office space. And initially it was great, like it was only about £400 a month, and the price just kept going up and up and up every single year. And it got to the point where I was kind of resenting paying it because I was having to put my prices up on the website to compensate for that. I was having to charge more for my services on the academy, and it just wasn't in alignment with what I'm trying to do here. I'm trying to make this as accessible as possible to people. I mean, I have the podcast for free, I have blog posts for free, I do all me social media for free, and I felt like all of me profits were just being absorbed by the office and the office costs and everything around that. So anyway, I don't know if you remember, but back in, I think it was November or December, I did an away day with Cheryl and Donna, who are Now Is Your Time Too. They came on the podcast, if you remember that. And I did an away day with them, and I had so many breakthroughs that day. And a couple of days later, one of me business friends, Julie, she messaged me, and and she said, "I've got a bit of an opportunity for you." And I was like, "Okay, what is it?" And she was like, "Well, bearing in mind I am on a spa day at the moment and I'm quite drunk." And I was like, "Right, just tell us, what is it?" And she was like, "We've actually got an office space over in Boldon," which if you're from Newcastle, you'll know it's about 5 to 10 miles away. It's not too far. It's just down the road. It's an extra 15 minutes on my journey. And she said, "We've got this huge office space above our motorcycle shop." It's not used. It's probably 6 times what you've got at the moment, 6 times as big. We don't want anything for it. You can literally have this office. Now, obviously, someone offers you something for free, you think, what's the catch? So, she then went on to say, one of her staff members was basically twiddling her thumbs, I think by the sounds of it, looking for things to be done in the office, and there just wasn't a role there for her, but they didn't want to get rid of her because she's absolutely amazing. And Julie had said to me, "So if you want, we can even get her to pack the orders for you," which then frees up probably, what, I'm going to say 15 to 30 hours a week for me. And that means that I can then sit in my zone of genius, which is creating content, creating podcasts, creating lots of different things for the academy, like challenges, workshops, courses. And I can finally concentrate on things like Manifest, where it's actually getting me out there and actually growing the brand. So I hummed and hawed about it, I went to lots of different people, got some advice, talked to loads of different people about it, and the general consensus was just to go for it. And I thought, you know what, what have I got to lose? If it doesn't work, I can always move back. Like, nothing was going to be permanent, do you know what I mean? So anyway, Saturday I went down the office, packed everything up, and then Sunday just gone, Julie, her two sons, and her husband came over with a huge van, took me down the road with all of my belongings. It took one huge transit van and two cars, it was my car and her car. And honestly, this new office space is incredible. It is so big. It is a little bit noisy because there's motorbikes downstairs, so there's constant revving. So I'm not quite sure if I'm going to be able to podcast from there just yet, so I am podcasting from my house right now. But I just thought, what an opportunity. What an opportunity. So what I've done is I've even created like a little content area. I can't wait for you to see it when it's finished. So I've got this one little corner, I am wallpapering it, I'm getting new flooring put down just in that corner so it looks like a home almost with a nice big couch. The couch came the other day. The bookcase took me 2 and a half hours. I had a drill, I split the wood— don't go there, it's still a sore subject— and then I went to B&M and Home Bargains, and I got some little furnishings. I moved all of my books from in the house that was cluttering up my bedside table and my bedside drawers, and I moved everything down there, down to the office. I took all my personal crystals, the majority of personal crystals out of my house, should I say. And yeah, it's just, I'm just flabbergasted that I'm getting this for free. I can't thank Julie and Mark enough, honestly. It's just an amazing opportunity, and it's a way that I'm going to be able to now grow my business. So yeah, if you do notice that my content looks incredible, or that I'm in a new office space, that is why. But yeah, I was on the Academy, cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk, if you don't know, get to know. And I was on the Academy last week, and I was just responding to all the comments on me courses and workshops and things. And there was a comment on there, and I thought, wouldn't that make an incredible podcast episode? And I don't think I've talked about this before. So I want to start this episode by talking about it because I think so many people experience this, but almost nobody admits it out loud. So, have you ever noticed that you're actually quite good at manifesting, but then not very good at keeping what you manifest? Ooh, this is going to be juicy, isn't it? So, what I mean by this is that you call in the opportunity, or you land the client or the customer, or you've got the biggest month in business that you've had in ages. So, all the money's coming in, The relationship feels aligned. The motivation is high. You're journaling, you're visualizing, you're meditating, you're really feeling yourself, and you think, yeah, this is it, I've cracked manifesting. And then somehow it slips. So an unexpected bill will come in, or you'll panic spend, you'll drop your consistency, you'll maybe even start procrastinating, or you'll pick a fight. Then, I don't know, if you're in business, you'll lower your prices, you'll randomly lose momentum, that high doesn't just level out, it absolutely collapses and crushes down underneath you. And you're just left there thinking like, why does this keep happening to me? Like, looking back at my life, I've experienced this so, so much. So I would get like a pay rise in the NHS, and I would think, oh my God, I'm gonna have so much more money this month, and I'll be absolutely buzzing. And then I'd get that payslip, and my pay would go into my bank, and then all of a sudden my car would break down, or it would fail its MOT, and it would cost me like £400, £500. And guess how much surplus I was getting on my pay? £400, £500. It would literally absorb every single time that my wage increased. It would just be absorbed by bills or invoices. So, I've literally had people in my courses saying things this last week saying, I'm not going to say who this is from obviously, but she said, "I've earned £130,000 before and I've still had nothing left for myself." Now, isn't that wild? £130,000, but she still had nothing left for herself at the end of each month. Now, on paper, that makes no sense, does it? Because most people would look at that number and think, well, that number solves everything. If I had £130,000, that would be me set for life. But trust me when I say this, it doesn't. Because income and internal capacity are two completely different things. So what I see over and over again, especially in the Academy, on comments on my Manifesting Money Masterclass, for example, it's this pattern. People can manifest the spike. They can manifest the surge, they can manifest the breakthrough, whatever you want to call it, but what they can't seem to do is stabilize at that level. So it's like they manifest this huge spike and then all of a sudden it starts dwindling again, okay? So it's kind of as if their life has this financial elastic band, if that makes sense. And what I mean by that is that it stretches, but then it snaps them straight back into their old normal. So this is the important bit, okay? Get ready for it, this isn't because you're bad at manifestation. It's not because you're lazy. It's not because you secretly don't want success. It's just because your nervous system and your identity have a baseline, and if what you're calling in sits way above that baseline, your nervous system is going to try and pull you back to what feels safe and familiar, even if familiar is stressful or chaotic or it's just scraping by each month. The brain doesn't prioritize abundance, it prioritizes safety. And safety to your subconscious, that often means what you're used to. So when you finally hit a new level, part of you feels excited, but then the other part of you feels a bit exposed or vulnerable or on edge even, you know, like something's about to go wrong. And that's when the little behaviors creep in, the ones that look like self-sabotage on the surface. That, "Oh my God, I don't know why I did that." those kind of moments, or the random dips in motivation, or the urge to spend it as fast as it came in. It's like a sudden loss of momentum just as things were starting to work. Now, this isn't random. This is your nervous system protecting you, and I think once you understand that, everything else will start to make a lot more sense. So let's talk about self-sabotage for a second, because I think the minute we see ourselves slip backwards, that's the label that we use, isn't it? Like, why do I always self-sabotage? Why do I ruin things? 'Why can't I just let it be good?' And I'm going to gently challenge that narrative for you because most people see, like, self-sabotage as being a weakness, don't they? Or being stupid or a character flaw that you need to fix. Now, most of the time it's just your nervous system trying to protect you from what it perceives as being a threat, okay? But that threat, in inverted commas, that threat might be success. So your brain is wired for familiarity over happiness. It would rather keep you in a known level of stress than move you into an unknown level of expansion. And that's wild really when you think about it, isn't it? So if you grew up around financial instability, you know, of not having enough money or just having enough to scrape by, or maybe you've spent years feeling like you were always just about coping, that becomes your internal normal, even if you consciously want more. So when more actually arrives, your nervous system goes, hang on, this isn't what we're used to. This feels different, and different feels unsafe. And that's when the behaviors kick in. And these behaviors are going to be at such a subconscious level that you probably don't even know that you're doing them. So you might overspend because holding money in your bank account feels tense, or you might delay sending invoices out if you're in business because visibility feels exposing, or maybe you pull back in relationships because if you get too close to someone, it's going to feel risky. Or maybe you stop showing up consistently because being seen at the next level feels uncomfortable and you're scared of being judged by your family or your friends. Now, from the outside, hearing that, it probably feels quite irrational, doesn't it? Looking from the outside. But inside the body, it's logical. So if your system associates wealth with pressure or visibility with criticism, then of course it's going to try and return you to the baseline, isn't it? Think about that member in my Academy who said she never knew what to do with that £130,000 when she had it. That's not about maths. It's not about budget naps or anything like that. That's about identity and safety. There are two things going on here. If you've never felt safe holding surplus amounts of money in your bank account, then that surplus is going to feel like a bit of a ticking time bomb, isn't it? And your body is going to look for a way to discharge that tension. So it's going to spend it or lose momentum or create drama for you. Anything that brings you back to familiar ground. So instead of asking, "Why do I keep sabotaging meself?" I think a better question to ask yourself is, "What is my system trying to protect me from?" Because once you realize that the behavior is protective, not destructive, you'll stop shaming yourself for it. And when you stop shaming yourself, you can actually start to change it. And this is where things get really interesting, because there's another layer to this that most people never even talk about. Even when you override the sabotage and you push through it, there's something else that can quietly cap your growth without you even noticing, and that's upper limits. Because sometimes it isn't obvious sabotage, is it? Sometimes you're doing everything right, you're showing up, you're consistent, you're making moves, things are growing, and then just as it starts to feel really good, something will shift. Now for me, this shows up as me getting irritable or strangely anxious and not knowing why. In the past, I've been known to like pick a pointless argument I suddenly start to feel really exhausted and overwhelmed, and then I'll lose excitement for the very thing that I was praying for just 6 months ago. And I kept on thinking to myself, like, what's wrong with me? Let me tell you, nothing is wrong with you. You've just hit your upper limit. That's all it is. So what I mean by an upper limit is the invisible ceiling that your subconscious has placed on how much success, love, money, ease, visibility anything in your life, it's placed a ceiling on how much of that you're allowed to experience before it starts to feel uncomfortable for you. So it's kind of like your life has a bit of a thermostat, and when things dip too low, you start to hustle to bring them back up, don't you? You start taking action. But when things rise above what your identity believes is normal, your system quietly turns the heat back down. And it's not because you don't want it, like I said earlier, it's just because it feels unfamiliar. That's all it comes back down to. And I see this all the time with money, especially in Manifest Money Masterclass because this is the work that we go through in there. And it's almost as if every single person on the planet goes through this. It's so true. Like, if you read through the comments, you'll know exactly what I mean. Every single person has the same kind of aha moment. So someone will have their best month ever, and instead of feeling secure, they'll feel more pressure than they did before. Like, they feel like they have to maintain it, otherwise they're going to feel exposed, or they feel like they're about to be found out. So then they either overwork or overspend or unconsciously create a dip just to relieve that tension. Now that is the upper limit in action, and this is why someone can earn— I'm going back to that woman again— like £130,000 and still feel broke, because if their internal ceiling hasn't shifted, the external number doesn't matter at all. They'll still find a way to return to what feels psychologically safe for them. They'll expand but then they'll contract straight away. So the wild part about this is that upper limits often show up as totally reasonable behaviors. Like, your brain will just say to you, "Oh, I just needed a break. It's been a busy month. I deserve to treat myself." And sometimes those things are true, of course they are, but sometimes they're subtle resets back to baseline. So expansion feels exciting consciously, but subconsciously it can feel quite destabilizing because every time you rise to a brand new level, you're not just earning more or achieving more, you're becoming someone new. And if your identity hasn't caught up with that version of you yet, it's just going to try and pull you back to the last version that felt solid. Which is why this isn't really about money at all. This could be for anything in your life. Honestly, you could literally use what I'm talking about in this episode for any area of your life. This is simply about who you believe you're allowed to be. That's all it comes down to. So manifestation isn't about what you want, is it? It's about who you believe you are. You can visualize wealth all day long, you can affirm abundance until you're blue in the face, but if deep down you still identify as being bad with money, or the one of your friend group that struggles, or the spender in your household, then your results are just eventually aligned with that identity, and identity always wins. You don't rise to the level of your desires, you fall straight back to the level of your self-image. And this is what I mean by identity ceilings. Like, it's not just that you have an upper limit on your income, you have an upper limit on who you think you are. I've had members saying things like, "Oh, Mark, I just don't know what to do with money when I have it." This isn't about spreadsheets. You don't need to be financially literate. It's simply about identity. That's all it comes down to. So for example, if you've spent years identifying as the over-giver in your family, of course you'll spend it on everyone else. If you've identified as the chaotic one in your friend group, of course stability is going to feel strange. If you've identified as the one who always has to work hard for everything, then of course something being easy is going to feel suspicious to you, isn't it? And until that identity shifts, your external reality will keep snapping back to match it, just like that elastic band that I talked earlier, and this is why earning money and being wealthy are two different state of minds. You can earn a hell of a lot and still operate from scarcity. You can manifest a breakthrough and still feel like it could disappear at any given moment, because wealth's not a number, it's a self-concept. I'll say that again for the people at the back: wealth is not a number, it is a self-concept. But the uncomfortable truth here is that you can't sustainably hold an identity that you haven't yet emotionally integrated. You might intellectually know that you deserve more, but if your body hasn't caught up, if your subconscious still clings to the old story, you'll find yourself behaving in ways that reinforce that older version of you. Not because you're failing, but because your identity is still calibrated to the past version of you. And this is exactly why so many people focus on strategy when what they actually need to focus on is expansion.. And this is where we separate something that most people lump together, that, you know, earning money and holding money, they are two completely different skill sets. And hardly anyone talks about that because we live in a world that celebrates earning, don't we? Everyone's always striving online for bigger months, bigger launches, bigger pay rises, bigger numbers on your online banking, whatever it is. We're taught how to generate, how to hustle, how to scale things. But we are rarely taught how to feel safe keeping what we actually generate and bring in. Now, holding money requires emotional maturity. Of course it does. It requires nervous system regulation. It requires being able to sit in a surplus without immediately trying to do something with it. Now, for some people, holding money feels really uncomfortable. It does for me. Whenever I've got, like, money in the bank, I'm like, oh my God, why is that money there? It shouldn't be there. It feels really tense. It feels like it's just sitting there doing nothing. And if you've been wired to associate worth with productivity or movement or urgency, whatever it is, then that stillness can feel wrong. So what happens? You move it. You'll upgrade before you've stabilised, or you'll treat one of your family or friends, or you'll create a new expense, or you'll subconsciously create a dip in income so that you can feel the familiar drive again. Because earning gives you a dopamine spike, doesn't it? It gives you a rush. It's almost like it feels powerful for you, whereas holding money requires a bit of calm, and calm can feel boring if your baseline has always been stress. Now, for me, my baseline has been stress for so bloody long. I'm addicted to anxiety. The calm does feel boring to me. So this is exactly what I was going through a couple of years ago, and I think that's why someone can be brilliant at generating income but still feel financially insecure because they've mastered activation but they haven't yet mastered regulation. So this isn't about shame, I'm not trying to shame anyone here, it's just about being aware of it. But honestly, true wealth is steady and stable, and that steadiness can feel wildly unfamiliar if your nervous system is used to those highs and lows, which means learning to hold money isn't just a financial skill, it's an emotional one, isn't it?. It's about teaching your body that surplus is safe, that you don't have to rush, or you don't have to prove anything to anyone. You don't have to immediately discharge that energy. And I think personally for me, when you start seeing it that way, you realize that this isn't about willpower, it's more about capacity. And capacity is about what your system can hold without going into stress or burnout or overwhelm. So if your baseline has always been urgency then steady growth is going to feel strange for you, isn't it? Like, I've got this app on my phone called Plum. Don't know if anyone's heard of it, but it basically looks at your bank statements every single month, and it looks at the dates that your direct debits come out, and it basically says to itself— I think it's like AI or something— it says to itself, okay, Mart's got £20 in his bank account on that day. It's not earmarked for bills. He usually doesn't spend on this day. I'm going to put that into an investment pot. And that's basically what it does. So every single month it's moving, I'm going to say about £50 to £100 out of my bank account and putting it in investments for me. Now I looked the other day at how much I've got in this, bearing in mind I've been using it, I'm going to say, I think it was just before the pandemic. I think it was like 2019, 20— yeah, I think it was around 2019 that I started using it. It was like 6, 7 years ago. Anyway, I've not really— I, I wouldn't say that I've missed any of the money that's been coming out of my bank account because it comes out in dribs and drabs. So one week it'll take £10, the next it'll take £20, the next it'll take a fiver or something. Do you know what I mean? It's always like tiny little amounts, or sometimes if I spend like £3.50, it rounds it up to £4 and it will just save that 50p. Do you know what I mean? So I never really miss the money. I looked the other day get this, I've got £14,000 in savings. £14,000. Now, obviously, that's come over the last 6, 7 years. So I've been saving around £2,000 a year. And I never really log on to the app to even look at it. So I didn't even know it was there. Well, I didn't know it was there. I was aware of it, but I didn't know it was that high, should I say. So my baseline has always been urgency. So that steady growth to me, if someone said to me, oh, put £10 away into an investment account, I would have been like, what? That's steady growth. That feels awful to me. But instead, I'm just like, oh my God, where's this 14 grand come from? So you'll find yourself creating pressure because pressure feels productive. That's how I was dealing with things. If your baseline has always been scarcity, then overflow is going to feel temporary for you. You'll be waiting for the other shoe to drop. If your baseline has been chaos, then that calm success, it's going to feel really unsettling, isn't it? And this is the part that most people miss, because when someone says, "I can't seem to hold on to money," what they're often really saying is, "My body doesn't feel safe at that level yet," because money magnifies things. It amplifies whatever is already there. So if you already feel secure, then more money is going to expand that. If you feel anxious, however, more money is going to expand that as well. Increases visibility, it increases a responsibility that you have. It's like a perceived risk, isn't it? So if your nervous system equates more with danger, it's going to try and protect you. And this is why regulation work is really foundational. It's why repetition matters more than intensity. Okay, you can't just think your way into wealth. You've got to feel safe to get there. So expanding your capacity means gradually normalizing the level that you want to live at. So let your body get used to it. Let surplus sit without reacting. This is something that I did with my members a while ago about incrementally upgrading your life. I just asked them to go into a room. So for example, I'm going to choose my kitchen. And when I did this, I went into my kitchen, I went through my kitchen cupboards, and straight away, as soon as I opened it, I saw a chipped mug. And I remember thinking to myself, like, what is that chipped mug subconsciously saying to me? Now, obviously it wasn't subconsciously saying much, but obviously if I'm drinking out of a chipped mug every single day, it's almost a subconscious perceived thought that I'm poor, that I don't have enough to drink out of a normal cup. I've gotta put meself down because I'm not worthy of drinking out of a normal cup. Does that make sense? So I got rid of all of my cups bar, I think, like 2 or 3 cups that we use on a day-to-day basis. And then I did exactly the same with me crockery, so me plates, me bowls, those kind of things. I got rid of anything broken, and I just incrementally upgraded. And what I mean by that is every single month I would replace one item in the kitchen. Now, over the course of the year, 12 things have been replaced. So a year later, we had new knives and forks that are absolutely amazing. The other ones, like, we had these knives that wouldn't even cut through a steak, do you know what I mean? So I got like this nice upgraded set, wasn't expensive, maybe £10-15, but at the end of the day, it felt like a bougie upgrade because I was upgrading things, and it didn't feel like it was costing me anything because I was doing this incrementally. But it was a safe way for my nervous system to then catch up with the future version of me that's embodying this new future version of me that's all wealthy. Does that kind of make sense? I've gone off on a little tangent about knives and forks, but you know where I'm coming from here. Because when your system, your nervous system, when it no longer sees expansion as a threat, you'll stop snapping back to the old baseline. And once that shift happens, everything around you will change as well. So how do you actually stop the cycle? Because I don't want this episode to just be a deep psychological diagnosis where you think, well, that explains it, but then nothing changes. So if you keep manifesting and then losing it, the solution isn't to manifest harder, it's just to expand your capacity to live at the level that you are trying to call in. So the first shift is to stop chasing that spike, okay? Start valuing the stability. If you can gradually work your way up a graph, like on a— if you imagine a graph and you imagine a line just going diagonally, it's gradually getting higher and higher and higher. What is the point of doing a great big spike? Because once you're up there, the only way is to come back down, isn't it? We've been conditioned to celebrate a big month or a viral post on Instagram or a huge breakthrough, whatever it is. But true wealth is actually built in that boring middle. It's just going slow and steady. What's that saying? Slow and steady wins the race. So it's built in those months that are steady. It's built in the discipline of not immediately raising your lifestyle every time income rises. It's built in being able to sit with surplus in your bank and not having to panic about it. Now, the second shift here is identity work. You have to consciously update who you see yourself as. So not, "I want to be wealthy," but, "I am becoming someone who holds wealth calmly." It's not like, "Oh my God, I hope this lasts." It's, "This is my new normal." And that requires repetition, doesn't it? It requires catching that old story when it kicks in and noticing when you feel the urge to sabotage and then just choosing differently. You know, just slightly differently. It doesn't even have to be dramatically differently, just slightly differently. So if you always used to spend it immediately, just practice holding it a little bit longer in your bank. See what that feels like. If you always used to disappear when things got good, practice staying visible. You know, you build capacity the same way you build a muscle. Gradual exposure, training it over and over again. It's like a safe repetition. And finally, you've got to normalize ease. So if you've spent years equating hard with worthy, then ease is going to feel like laziness, isn't it? If you've equated struggle with identity, then calm is going to feel like you're doing something wrong. So part of breaking that cycle is allowing it to be simpler than you're used to. So just let it be steady and calm, because the goal isn't just to manifest the high, it's to become the person who can live there without flinching. So if you keep manifesting and losing it, hear it from me, you're not broken, you're not incapable, you've just outgrown your old baseline. So now it's time for you to build that internal capacity to match the external level that you're calling in, and that's where the real work is, and that's where everything around you will start to stabilize as well. So I hope that that was useful for you to hear. I'm sorry I went off on so many tangents there, I get on me high horse sometimes. I think it's when I don't script me episodes, when I sit here with a laptop and I'm like, yeah, I need to talk about this, this, and this. And when I don't script me episode, I just look off into the ceiling and it comes out like word vomit. So yeah, I hope that you enjoyed this episode. I hope it landed exactly where it needed to for exactly who it needed to as well. If you've enjoyed, please don't forget you can leave me a rating or a review on the podcast page wherever you're listening to this from. Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Audible, wherever you're listening to this from, You can leave a star rating, a review. I think on Spotify now you can even comment, which is amazing. If you think that someone would benefit from this, whether they're a family member, friend, colleague, coworker, whoever it is, please just send them it in a link. Just send it to them. My business, Canny Crystals, the podcast, the Academy, Manifest, it all grows from word of mouth. So I really would appreciate if you would do that. Thank you so, so much for being here. I hope that you have an amazing week ahead, and I I will see you all next Friday for another episode. Speak soon, guys.

Bye!

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Hello, American podcast listeners. Max Rushton here from The Guardian Football Weekly, which I think you should give a listen. It is good. It comes out 3 times a week, and the podcast delivers you analysis, news, both the good and the bad from the beautiful game, and maybe even the occasional laugh. He's angry about everything.

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