228: Healing your money wounds with EFT

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Hello everyone and welcome back to another episode of Canny Crystals, the podcast. I hope that you're all well. My name is Mart Tweedy, I am your host. And honestly, my inbox and my DMs have been absolutely flooded this week after last week's episode, because last week's episode was all about holding on to your manifestations once you actually get them. And I just used money as an example because that tends to be what people are trying to manifest in their lives. I'm not trying to become a money podcast or anything like that, but I had so many messages from people after listening to that episode with even more questions. So a lot of people were talking about the shame and the guilt that we have, so I wanted to do one episode just to quickly wrap this up, but I've also been building something for you, so I've got something special to announce at the very end of this episode, so please stick around for that. But I just want to start this episode by talking about something that a lot of people have obviously been messaging about and what people feel all the time but very rarely admit out loud, and that's that money can make you feel shame in ways that you don't even understand. So I'm not talking about logical stress here or practical budgeting conversations. I'm on about that deep, kind of slightly embarrassing, that tight that feeling in your chest when certain money topics come up? I know for me it does all the time. It's the kind that makes you avoid checking your bank balance, or the kind that makes you change the subject when someone talks about investing. You know, because last week I talked about that app Plum, and the amount of messages I had about that— people were saying like, oh my God, investing, that's such a grown-up topic, and I can't even bear to think about that. This is the kind that makes you quietly judge yourself for wanting more. So what fascinates me is that so many people who are into manifestation or mindset you know, spirituality, growth, whatever it is, they still carry quite huge emotional wounds around money. So what I'm here to say is you can visualize abundance and you can still feel guilty charging people for your services. You can journal about wealth and you can still panic when a bill lands. I do all the time. You can call yourself abundant, but you can still feel uncomfortable admitting that you want more. Now, that contradiction, it's not like being hypocritical, it's just our conditioning from the past, because most of us did not grow up being taught that money was neutral, okay? We absorbed stories about it, and we absorbed tone, we absorbed fear, and absorbed other people's opinion about rich people, about people who struggled. And I think I talked about this in my book Limitless. In fact, I know I talked about it in my book. I talked about how when I used to go down to the school gates with my mom, she would be stood around like waiting for the school gates to open for me to go in. And one of the mothers, like one of my friend's moms, they obviously had a lot of money. And I remember this one mother in particular used to come in, face full of makeup, really nice clothes. Obviously she was probably going to work straight after, but she was always dolled up to the nines. And whenever she would come, my mom would tut, roll her eyes, and say something like, 'Oh, I love me, who do you love?' Just like having a little dig at this woman, all because she earned more money than my mom did. So I basically grew up being conditioned by my mom that like having money was a negative thing, that it was bad. And as children, we don't filter those messages, do we? We turn them into our identity. So maybe for you, you grew up in a house where money was tight and stressful. Maybe you saw arguments with your parents about it, or maybe you heard phrases in your family like, "Oh my God, we can't afford that." You know, maybe you watched a parent work themselves into the ground and associate money with exhaustion. Maybe you were praised for being low maintenance and not asking for much when it comes to Christmas and birthdays. You don't just grow up and forget all of that, do you? You grow up and you build a life on top of it. And I was saying this to my members just the other week, it's like limiting beliefs. If we are going to sweep away those limiting beliefs, we need to clear that entire rubble before we start building our next house on it. We don't immediately see that pile of rubble and say, oh, this is the perfect ground for building a house, do we? We're going to clear it away first. So then if we jump ahead in the timeline, you know, one day you're an adult, you're trying to increase your income, you're trying to raise your standards, trying to create that wealth, and your body just reacts like you're doing something dangerous. And that's not because you're bad with money, it's just because somewhere along the line your nervous system linked money with stress, conflict, loss, judgment, whatever it is. So I know last week obviously I spoke about, uh, spikes and upper limits, for example. I want to, I want to really go deeper with all of that today because this is more about healing the old money wounds underneath all of that. So like I said, the shame, the childhood stories, or the fear of being judged the guilt about maybe outgrowing your friend group and your friend circles. It's that quiet panic that kicks in even when you logically know that you're fine. And we're going to talk about tapping as a way to calm that at the root as well, because EFT and tapping is so underrated for stuff like this. Because if you can make money feel safe in your body, then everything else is going to become easier for you, isn't it? So if we're going to heal these money wounds, we have to be honest about where most of them started. That's the first thing that we need to do. We need to take stock and become aware of where this all started for us. And guess what? For the majority of people, it won't have been in adulthood, it'll have been in childhood. Not because your parents were evil masterminds trying to sabotage your financial future or anything like that, but because children just absorb everything. We don't just hear words, we feel energy. We don't just understand what we said, we internalize what's implied by that as well, don't we? So you might not remember those exact conversations about money, but I can guarantee you right now that your remembers the atmosphere. Okay. So, I'm going to ask a few questions right now, and I just want you to answer silently in your head. Just see what comes up for you. Okay. So, question number 1 is, did money feel calm in your home or did it feel tense? Did it feel calm or did it feel really stressful and tense? Question number 2, did bills land quietly or did they land with sighs and stress? Now, for me,. I know every time my mum got a letter and she opened it, it was a constant, "Oh my God. Oh my God." It was just like panic, sighs, stress. Yeah, it was awful. Question number 3, was earning associated with pride or with exhaustion? So, you know, if you earn something, was that associated with being proud of it or was it associated with, you know, it comes with exhaustion? Question number 4 is, was wanting more seen as ambition or as greed? Was wanting more seen as ambition or as greed? So those are the 4 moments that kind of shape your identity far more than we realize, okay? And once you answer those 4 questions, you might want to journal them, you might want to just answer them in your head right now. Like I say, it's totally up to you how you do this, but you will have so much more awareness once you've answered those questions. So if you grew up watching money cause arguments, then your nervous system might have linked wealth with conflict. If you saw a parent constantly overwhelmed, you might have been linking earning with pressure. Or if you heard comments criticizing people who had more, like me mum at the school gates, you might have subconsciously decided that blending in is actually safer than standing out. Yeah, and then we've got that shame, haven't we? So there's always a shame around debt or overspending or under-earning or wanting more. On not knowing exactly what you're doing. So money shame is particularly sticky, isn't it? Because it attacks your identity. It tells you that there's something wrong with you, that you should be further along in your journey, or that everyone else seems to have it all figured out and that you're the one that's behind. I've had people in my world say things like, "Oh, I've earned good money before, but I always end up back at square one," or, "I feel embarrassed admitting that I don't know how to hold on to it." That embarrassment, it's not about maths. Like I said last week, it's about identity. So if somewhere along the way you internalize that "I'm not good with money" saying, your behavior will eventually line up with that belief. Not because you're incapable, but because identity is everything. Identity is powerful. And here's the thing: you can't out-strategize shame. You can download all the budgeting apps in the world. You can download that Plum app if you really wanted to, you know what I talked about in last week's episode. You can read investment books. You take business courses. But if every single time that your money increases, your body feels exposed or guilty or judged, you'll find a way to relieve that tension. And that's why this work has to be emotional, not just practical. Because once you start separating your identity from your past experiences, you then create a space for something new. And you'll start to realize that those stories were absorbed, not chosen. And if things are absorbed, then they can be updated as well, can't they? So one of the quietest money wounds, and honestly one of the most powerful is the fear of being judged as well. And I don't think we talk about this enough because it's not kind of like a, "Can I earn more?" It's, "What happens socially if I earn more?" So, if you're in business and you raise your prices, will people think that I've changed? If I start doing well for meself, will people assume that I'm greedy? If I talk openly about money, will it make other people feel uncomfortable? If I succeed, will I lose connection? Now, for a lot of people, wealth isn't just financial expansion, is it? It feels like social risk. And I remember a few years ago, I'd left the NHS. God, when was this? 20— 2017, I think it was. 2018. I was in between jobs in the NHS, and while I was in between jobs, one of my friends opened a healthy eating restaurant here in Newcastle. And I'd said to him, look, I'm going to be free for the next 4 weeks. If you want to, I can come in, I can run this restaurant for you, I can train up all your staff, and if I like it, I'll even quit the NHS. Really, I was just looking for a way out the NHS because I fucking hated it. So anyway, I started working for him, and within about 4 or 5 weeks, I got my first pay increase. And he did that because he'd seen how hard I'd been working every single day and night in that restaurant, how hard I've been training the staff, how much I've been going like above and beyond. So he put my wage up, right? Now, my wage for managing the front of house was actually more than what the head chef was getting, right? And it wasn't until one day I was in the kitchen and I was just helping out, and I'd mentioned how much money I got, and all of the chefs kind of like dropped things and all stared at us. It was like a scene out of a film. And as they all stared at us, they went, 'What did you just say?' And I'd said, 'Oh, I'm getting this amount.' And they all just like, their jaws hit the floor. They couldn't believe that I was just talking so openly about money. And I remember a few days later I got hauled into the office, and it was to the point that I was actually crying. I was in floods of tears because I was being shouted at and being told off for talking about money so openly. And I was like, but at the end of the day, like, I've got nothing to hide. I don't mind talking openly. Like, I talk openly on this podcast. This is who I am. I talk about everything openly. But all of these chefs, every single one of them, had gone to the management team and complained about me one by one, all just because I'd spoken about money. Now that obviously, like, me talking openly about money, it's obviously made other people uncomfortable. And like I said, if belonging has always felt important to you, your nervous system is going to prioritize that over profit every single time, isn't it? Like, as humans, we are wired for connection. We're, we're open books, aren't we? But historically, if we're excluded from the tribe, that's quite dangerous. So if part of you believes that earning more, wanting more, or living differently might threaten your sense of belonging,, then your system is going to quietly hold you back, isn't it? So I think that really affected me. And it, like, it was only a couple of years ago when I was really going through this work, when I was doing all my money mindset work, that I realized that that situation really affected me. And it's just had such a profound effect on me and my body. And, you know, it really takes it out of me to be able to talk openly about money. And when I think back as to where that that mainly came from, it links back to that same story every time about the chefs all being disgusted and all putting in a complaint about us. So this could show up for you personally in lots of different guises, couldn't it? Like, if you're in business, for example, you might delay increasing your prices even though that you know that you're undercharging people. You might downplay your wins so that you don't stand out above everyone else. You might even overgive to compensate for earning more. You might subconsciously stay at a level that feels acceptable to the people around you. And then there's obviously the guilt about outgrown people as well. And I think this one runs really deep because if you come from a background where money was tight or where no one has really gone beyond a certain level, there can be like an unspoken loyalty to staying where everyone else is. Success can feel like a betrayal to them, can't it? You know, growth can feel like you're abandoning that tribe., and I've seen this myself so many times. Like, people will hit a new level, and instead of celebrating, they'll just feel a little strange, slightly uncomfortable, and I'm gonna say almost apologetic as well, as if they need to shrink a little bit to keep everyone else comfortable. But that guilt isn't about numbers, it's about identity and belonging. So if part of you still believes that being relatable means struggling, then thriving is going to feel lonely, isn't it? If you've identified as being the generous one in your friend circle, you might give your surplus away to maintain that identity. Or if you've been the dependable one in your family, you might feel pressure to carry everyone else financially once you start to earn more. So when I talk about money wounds, it's not just about scarcity, it's about that social safety as well, because your nervous system might not just be afraid of losing money, it might be afraid of losing connection as well. And until that fear is acknowledged, you're going to unconsciously cap yourself at a level that feels relatively safe, aren't you? And this is why tapping is so, so powerful, because you're not just calming your financial anxiety, you're calming the part of you that equates expansion with isolation. And then once that part of you feels safe, you can grow without feeling like you're leaving people behind. And then on top of all this, we've got like this scarcity panic and a fear of success. It's kind of like that sudden wave of, what if it all disappears? So, even when things are objectively fine as well, like, I remember just a few years ago, every single time I would look at my bank account, I would feel me stomach drop before I'd even looked at the number. Like, it's kind of like earning more and immediately thinking about everything that could go wrong, looking at the worst-case scenario for everything. Now, that is scarcity panic. It's not about the amount because I've seen people with 5 figures in their account just feel as anxious as someone with £500, for example. Because scarcity isn't a number, it's a nervous system imprint. So if you've lived through instability or you've watched money come and go unpredictably, then your body might have learned that surplus money is just temporary. So even when the money arrives, you don't relax. You brace and you tense up and you expect that dip and prepare yourself for impact, basically. And when you brace, you often make decisions from that brace state. So you'll rush, you'll overwork, You'll overthink. You'll spend to relieve the tension, and then you'll create movement because stillness just feels dangerous, doesn't it? And then we've got the fear of success as well, which sounds ridiculous until you really look into it, because most people say that they want more money or more visibility or more growth in their business or in their lives. But more often means more responsibility, more eyes on you, more expectations. And it can mean more opinions from other people, more criticism from the general public, more pressure to maintain it. So if your nervous system, like, associates visibility with judgment or responsibility with overwhelm, then of course part of you is going to hesitate, isn't it? Yes, success can feel exposing. It can feel like standing slightly taller than you used to and just worrying that someone's going to knock you back down. So you might hit a new level, and instead of settling into it, you just feel restless or irritable. You might pick apart your own progress. You might start and downplay it. You could even, like, unconsciously create a distraction just to bring the intensity down. Again, not because you're incapable, because your system is just trying to regulate itself. And believe me when I say this, like, until your body learns that having money and holding money and being seen with money is safe, then you're going to fluctuate between gripping tightly and pushing it away. And this is why regulation work matters more than because when your body stops bracing, you stop reacting. And when you stop reacting, you start responding from that calmer, wealthier identity. Okay, so this is kind of where we stop analyzing and start regulating now, because I think having that awareness is powerful, but awareness alone doesn't calm a nervous system. So you can understand every single one of your money patterns intellectually, and you can still feel the same tightness in your chest when you open your banking app. Yeah, but tapping, EFT, tapping works because it meets the body exactly where it is. So when you tap on specific acupressure points while speaking honestly about what you're feeling, you reduce the stress response in the brain. You're not trying to override fear with positivity. You're not pretending that the shame doesn't exist, for example. You're just acknowledging it while signaling safety. And that combination is super, super powerful because most people try to fix money anxiety by thinking differently. But if your body still feels unsafe, your behavior is going to follow the body, not the thought. So instead of saying, "I shouldn't feel this way," tapping allows you to say, "Even though I feel ashamed about money, I deeply and completely love and accept myself." And it's that easy. You validate the experience without reinforcing it. You could even change that up and instead say something like, "Even though part of me feels guilty for wanting more," 'Or even though I panic when I think about money.' Yeah, what happens then is subtle but important. So the charge of that lowers. And what I mean by the charge, I mean like the energetic charge, the amount of energy that it's making your body use every time you like, you brace or you think about this. Okay, so that charge lowers, the emotional intensity drops as well, and the story starts to feel less true and more just like something that you've absorbed. And then once the emotional charge reduces, you can then introduce something new. So not forced affirmations, just gentle updates like, "It might be safe to earn more. It might be safe to hold surplus. I might be allowed to grow without losing connection." And it's just a way for your body to think, "Okay, this could be possible for me, actually." You know, this is how identity shifts actually happen. You're not convincing yourself that you're wealthy. You're just teaching your nervous system that wealth isn't a threat. It's not something to be scared of. And when the body feels safe, you stop pushing money away without realizing that you're doing it. So like I said earlier, this isn't about becoming a different person overnight. It's just about reducing the shame, calming the panic, and allowing your system to expand gradually. And I think when you do that consistently, something interesting happens. Money stops feeling like something that you're chasing, and it starts to feel like something that you can handle. Okay, so And I would obviously love to do like a little tapping routine on here with you all right now, but you know, one round of tapping on a podcast, it's powerful, but real change comes from tapping consistently, doesn't it? So what I've done, here's the deal, I've put together a 14-day money tapping reset called Abundance on Tap. It's just £14 for 14 days for a limited time before the price goes up. And every single day you'll receive a different 5 to 10 minute tapping video focused specifically on wealth. Now we're going to be working through childhood money stories, shame, uh, fear of judgment, scarcity panic, guilt about outgrown people, and we're going to expand your capacity to hold more by doing so as well. And alongside each tapping video as well, there'll also be a small activation task to help you embody what we are shifting into, so that this isn't just an emotional release, we're actually taking action and we are integrating this. Now for those of you who did Magnetic Self-Love earlier in February, and you had those incredible shifts. It's the same format, okay? Over 200 of you joined that challenge, and the feedback was absolutely unreal. I don't think there was a single negative comment from over 200 people. The identity shifts that we had were huge. People were crying daily. I was telling them to get naked daily. We won't go there. We don't need to get naked when we tap in. But I am genuinely excited to see what happens when we all collectively focus on regulating our relationship with money and to see what we can call in as a collective. So if you want to get involved, we start on Monday the 23rd of March, 2026. And if you want to join the first run and get it at the very cheapest price, head to cannycrystalsacademy.co.uk/tap and join the VIP waitlist. If you want to, I will pop the link in the show notes for this episode as well, but you can also find the link if you go on to Canny Crystals on Instagram or TikTok or Facebook and you click the link in my bio and you'll see it'll be the very first top one. And it'll say Abundance on Tap. Okay, so I truly believe abundance isn't something that we should be just waiting around for. I think it should be something that we can learn to switch on safely, steadily, and without shame. And that's why I've called it Abundance on Tap, because I think when money feels safe in your body, everything around you changes. Okay, so you'll be happy to know that that's all of my money talk for this week. I just wanted to get that little additional, uh, information out to you after all the messages that I had from last week's episode. So I hope that you've enjoyed this episode. I hope that it's given you more clarity and more clarification on what I actually meant in last week's episode. If you've enjoyed this episode, please don't forget to leave me a rating, a review, a follow, a subscribe, whatever it is. It all helps out. I really would appreciate that, and I will see you all next Friday for another episode. Speak soon, guys.

Bye!

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