7 Brutal Truths I Wish I Knew In My 20s That Cost Me Millions

At the time of filming this video, I am 40 years old, about to be 41. And in this video what I'm going to do is teach you seven of the most brutal truths that I've learned that I wish I knew in my 20s and that's probably cost me an awful lot of money. I got this idea from Dan Martell's channel which I'll link down below, so go out and check his video out. But I thought it was a great video idea. And so what I'm going to do is run you through the things that I've learned. Growing multiple business to eight figures, having many different business partners, having some good, some bad, having some end great, Having some end badly. Being deployed as a special forces sniper to multiple combat theaters and having kids and the over a period of the last 20 odd years I've learned an awful lot. Had I learned some of these strategies or some of these things, I feel like I would have done everything a hell of a lot faster and probably saved myself an awful lot of heartache. Number one is do hard things and find out who you are. A lot of us don't really do difficult things in our lives or at least like working an 8 hour day or a 10 hour day is difficult. I mean do physically difficult things or uncomfortable things on a regular basis to give yourself the knowledge that you can do it. It's the reason why I joined the military, it's the reason why I became special operations, the reason why I became a sniper. Because I want to do what I consider to be like the hardest of the hard things and then go to combat deployments and find out who I am in awfully uncomfortable and terrible situations. And I found that out and I was pretty happy with what I found out. I react very well in the situations not everyone did, you know. And I think it's interesting to find that out about yourself and it gives you a lot of context for your life moving forward. And I feel like it's something that everyone needs to do. It can be as simple as like doing ice baths, right? Ice baths are physically very very uncomfortable. That's the main benefit to them I think. Obviously they got some anti inflammatory and stuff like that. But doing things like that are physically uncomfort uncomfortable thing on a regular basis lets you know that you will be okay and that you can handle yourself in these situations, right? And just immersing yourself in that ice and doing something that is incredibly uncomfortable on a regular basis just lets you ease your way through that. And if you are a fight when it comes to that. And you do start screaming like a little girl every single time you help in that ice. Like, just keep doing it until you don't. And then you will learn to control yourself, right? One of the things I tell my son, because my son's 8 years old and he wants to get in the ice bath with me sometimes, and I go, okay, if you want to do it, let's do it. But I tell him to control his face, right? The face is the. That you're a gateway to your emotions. And if you go that when you're in pain, there's no need for that. Doesn't help you in any way. It doesn't mean that you can't be in pain. But when you control yourself, you control your face, you control your emotions. It means that you can deal with these things much better, and you can make much better decisions when you're under that kind of stress, okay? So do hard things. Find out who you are. The second thing is stop caring about what other people think of you. That doesn't mean that you run around the world being a fucking psychopath, but it does mean that somebody else's opinion of you is relatively irrelevant unless you are very close to them. They love you. Doing things to please other people and doing things to have status in the world, it's just not helpful to anyone. I recently sold my Rolexes because I realized that I bought them because I wanted other people to know that I could buy them. And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. But I also think that, like, you know, because I bought them, I think I didn't knowingly buy them like that at the time, but I realized years later, I was like, oh, I found myself just not wearing them. And I was like, oh, maybe I'm not wearing them because, like, I don't need to let people know anymore. I feel comfortable enough for myself to wear. I'm wearing a $25 Casio. And I'm very happy with this watch. Works great. It's a super illuminator. And when you stop worrying about what other people think of you, it's a very freeing experience. Because you cannot please everyone. And trying is one of the most exhausting things that anyone can do in their entire life. And so it just allows you to be you. And it also makes the world an incredibly less frustrating place. Because if I get in a debate with somebody, like, I don't care if they believe me. I don't care if they share the same opinion as me. And if they share a differing opinion. I go, okay, maybe. And like, because I don't care if you want to have a different opinion, that's fine. It doesn't bother me at all. And I don't need you to have mine. And if you disagree, cool. High five to you. I really don't mind. Right. It's just a very freeing experience. And moving into that is number three, which is don't overestimate the importance of your own opinion with other people. I am good at a few things and I'm bad at many things. And I do some things really well and I do some things really poorly. And my opinion in certain things can hold weight, say in sales or like certain types of business. But it doesn't mean that, like, I need other people to accept my opinion as correct. And I think on sales calls especially, people get frustrated. And the reason why you're frustrated is because your ego is coming into play, right? You think that you presented such a strong and airtight argument that that person's being ridiculous for not taking the path that you think they should take. But you don't know them and you've only known them for a very short period of time. And there's no way that you could uncover or unpack the decision making process of that person in such a short period of time. And so if people have things like that have held them back for a long time, the chances of you overcoming it and overcoming it permanently is probably pretty low. That's why in opinion, right, those like Tony Robbins type seminars, not to, you know, shit on Tony Robbins or anything, but it's just like, I don't think that those breakthroughs would be very long lasting because they're just sort of an in the moment thing now. Maybe they are. Maybe I'm totally wrong, I don't know. But I would say that the likelihood of most of the people doing that have a lasting change that lasts for years and years and years based off a three or four hour seminar, I think would be unlikely. However, I'm sure that it has happened. If you think that you're. That your opinion on something is, is gospel and other people should definitely do it, then it's an frustrating life to lead. And so they don't owe you anything and nobody should or needs to listen to you. And if you understand that, then like, all you have to do is just present your argument and if they take it, fantastic. If they don't, that's fine too. The next thing is like, don't get excellent at things that you only need to be good at. And so what does that mean? It's like for me at like sales, I think that, you know, there are better salespeople than me for sure. I think that I articulate sales fairly well and I think I'm very good at it. And I could get better, but I don't need to. My full time job is usually not selling anymore. It used to be. I still do sell a lot, but I have, I'm good enough at selling to be able to get whatever outcome I need from a business standpoint. And so for me, going further down the rabbit hole and reading every sales book on the planet and becoming the world's most verse salesperson is a, is a very little consequence to me. And so I got as good as I needed to get. So don't waste time on things that like aren't going to be a forever thing or that you're already good at. If you want to be a salesperson and a salesperson for the rest of your life, then yes, get as good as human possible at that. But I don't, that's not me. I do a lot of things. And so for me, you know, getting good at marketing, getting good at sales, getting good at business, getting good at projections, like I can be good but not great at any of those things because in order to be truly great at something, you have to really focus on it extremely hard. And like that's not me. Now I am really good at certain things, as in great at certain things. But you know, one of them is like shooting, for example. Like I was exceptional at shooting. I'm pretty good these days, but I'm getting back into it. But again, like I don't need to be excellent at things that I only need to be good at. And I think it's normalistic expectation to try and be excellent. Everything. All right, Number five is people who tell you they really don't want something. A lot are people who tell you something's really, really important to them all the time, generally speaking, are lying to you. So if someone says, oh, I don't want your money, I don't want your money, I don't want your money, I don't want your money. They definitely want your money. If someone talks about integrity all the time, chances are they're a lying sack of shit. Because like let people's actions tell you their thoughts. Thoughts. Don't let people's words tell you their thoughts. Like you can see. And when you take away people's words and you just look at the actions you can see how they truly feel. It's like that old thing, like, show me your calendar and I'll show you your priorities. Right? If you're going to tell me how much of an amazing parent you are, but yet you work through your kids like recitals, that's not true. You're not a really good parent because you're prioritizing that over this or every time. It can happen occasionally. That is what it is. But you can't tell me that you prioritize. If I see that you prioritize, work every single opportunity you get over your children, then no, you're not a good parent. But you can tell me all the time how important it is to you, but you're just lying. People are saying those things to you. Just know they're probably full of shit. Number six is not everyone needs to get up at 4am and go to bed at 8pm and rise and grind. Everyone is different. Like everyone's different. There's very little definitives in the world. I would like to use a definitive. Nothing is definitive, right? But you know, everyone's different and everyone needs to kind of beat to their own drum a little bit. And I think that like getting up early for some people is fantastic. I work better when I get up early. I've learned that over the years. But like, there have been some times where that just hasn't been the case. And basically what I'm going to do is figure out what works best for me. If you're a night owl and you're really hyper productive at night and it's, you can do it within the realms of the relationship in life, then work late, it's fine. You know, you could even move to a place where late is early somewhere else. Right, Whatever. So like, you know, don't you don't listen to people like me or listen to people online about like getting up early and doing everything, you know, before 5:00am okay, and the last one is that most people fail because they just don't try very hard. So what I would do is ask you to be introspective and not call me a fuckwood in the comments. I mean, you can if you want to, it's fine. But if you think about this, so if you are trying to get better at sales or you're trying to get better at business and people come to me all the time asking for consulting. Some of them pay a lot of money. And I go, okay, where are your projections? And they go, I don't have any. I go, okay, well why not right. If you come to and you want to get better at sales, I go, okay, where are you going to be and when and what's the plan to get there if you haven't done that, like, if you want to lose weight and you haven't said, okay, well this is my schedule, this is what I'm going to train, this is exactly how I'm doing it. This is my diet, this is when I'm going to do my weigh ins. Then like, that is literally the bare minimum. And if you haven't done that, then you're not trying very hard. But without that, you also are very unlikely to succeed. And so most of the people that I speak to when they want to get better, they will spend enormous amounts of money to get better at sales. And I go, okay, so like, what is success? How did you get there? What's your plan? They never have one. And to me that is just means you have an actual literally tried because you haven't put any thought into it whatsoever. None. And so most people fail because they just don't try very hard. But all right, guys, on that note, I'll see you in the next video.