Empowering Women - CIFC Episode 149

Hey, guys, what's up? Welcome to the episode of Coffee is Foreclosures. We have Kayla here. Today we're going to be talking about NEPQ Red and female sales training and all things lady sales. Lady. Lady sales. Yeah. Ex special forces sniper turned entrepreneur. I've scaled numerous businesses to eight figures. My name is Matt Ryder. This is my podcast and I'm telling you to put that coffee down. So how are you, Kelly?

I'm doing amazing, Matt. Thank you for having me on. I appreciate you, man.

Awesome. Awesome. All right, so we started this thing NEPQ Red. We don't want to go too far into it because, like, the specifics, because the mystery is also part of the fun. But, like, tell me your journey. When did you get into sales? Why did you get into sales? Why aren't you working in some corporate office somewhere, being a high flying corporate lady, breaking through glass ceilings and whatnot?

Oh, my gosh. Even though I would absolutely, you know, maybe like the experience of that, I don't definitely think that's not my realm. I think that.

Why is that?

Because I. I really, really get joy whenever I am working with a woman and she's starting to learn how to make money for herself. I think that that, like, feeling of her being able to do that is something that I get high off of.

Yeah. Why did you say for herself?

Because I feel like so many times as women, we're built to be nurturers and we're not built to hunt. And I feel like a lot of ladies perceive sales as hunting and so can learn a different way. Right. That feels like an alignment with us. And we start making money in a way that feels really good. We feel really good about it. Right. And we want to do it over and over again. Versus me being in sales. Earlier in my life when I was producing, I started producing, you know, from going from like a waitress to doing like at least 15k a month in sales. Before I was at like 30, 40k. 15k. I still felt good. Like, yes, I'm bringing in money, but I was doing it. That was really like hard closing. And it felt so out of my body that I didn't want to do it.

Okay, does that make sense when you say it? Like, describe to me hard closing. I come from a similar background.

Yeah, yeah. Hi, sir. This is so and so. Oh, I'm not interested. Sir. If you were interested, you'd be calling me versus me calling you now. Help me solve your problem. What is the biggest issue in your business today? And I was like, Talk to me. You know, like, those kind of people are like, f. You hang up and you're like, okay, do it again.

Sales is a numbers game.

Sales is a numbers game. Yeah. And I felt like when you learn a quality game, you don't have to work as hard, and you get to produce better results, and your prospect feels good. You feel good. And so I want women to learn how to earn their own money in a way that feels an alignment for them so they can produce for their families, you know?

Okay. Like, I guess. What do you see as. I guess some of the main. Let's go with struggles first, and then we'll go with kind of benefits. Because I think there are probably pros and cons to being a woman. Pros and cons to being a man in sales.

Yeah.

Right. Like, what are some of, I guess the cons that you see that you kind of have to try and counteract or work with as being a woman in sales?

Yeah. Not being taken seriously.

Okay.

Number two, I feel like it's really easy to get a meeting, but sometimes it's hard to close the deal. Okay, right. Yeah. Number three, being hit on in sales and not knowing how to, like, navigate that. If you're put in a situation and somebody's, like, being extra nice to you, and you're being nice because you're trying to get the deal, but for some reason, you don't close, and they're still taking you on a bunch of lunch outings.

Yeah, just some. Yeah. So, like, you know, like, I guess there's that old, like, traditional farmer girls. Right. You know, there's that kind of old trope of, like, a bunch of hot women walking around, you know, trying to convince doctors to give him money by taking them out to lunch and touching them on the knee. Right. So there's that old trope, you know, and so. Okay, cool. So when you say, like, them on the knee, jerk, it's just cringy shit. Right. So. Okay, so it's like when you. Okay, so not being taken seriously, a little bit easier to get an appointment, but then, like, kind of maybe because people don't want to say no, but they also don't want to say yes.

Well, I think that when it comes to negotiations, also, ladies, like, when a negotiation starts happening.

Yeah.

Somewhere in your body, we start to tense up a little bit, especially if we don't know how to overcome the right thing. Because I feel like training teaches you when they say this, you say this versus trying to understand where it's coming from. And so if you don't have the right flashcard of what you memorized because of bad sales training, you know, you don't know how to overcome the object because you don't know how to be curious enough to really figure out what's coming up for them. So I just feel like it's a lot of it, you know, when somebody's saying no and you're feeling uncomfortable in your body because you don't have the right skills in place or you don't have the know how you're at a lose, lose there. You're like, I did all this work, I got this meeting, I got all the way to the end. The conversation was so good. Then they have an objection. I'm like, oh, mentally shut down.

That makes sense.

I see that a lot.

Okay, what do you think are some of the, I guess, the benefits of being a female in sales? Like, what is a little. What are the things that, like the little tools you have in your toolbox that men potentially don't?

I think that women listen to. Try to understand.

Okay. Break down what that means. I don't understand. So ironically. What do you mean? Listen? My wife says that word a lot, but I don't understand what she means.

Oh, my gosh. Well, whenever you're going through problem finding, Right. When everyone is talking to you and telling you their current situation and you're asking the right questions and you're going deeper. Whenever somebody says something a woman, our mind is like natural nurtures. Right. And so we're trying to understand, like someone's concern. We're also super intuitive. So if you make a weird facial expression, I'm going to look at that and I'm going to be like, what was that? I'm just super curious with my natural ability to try to understand what was that? And now I'm going deeper and deeper and deeper. Have you ever had the experience where, you know, you and your wife were talking and you were saying something and she was like, no, no, no, no. Like, what is that? And she goes deeper? Yeah, yeah. We just naturally have that. And so if we can transfer that to be able to use appropriately in a sales space with a loving way, you'll get deeper into a sales conversation. It's easier to find the problem and it's easier to get somebody to make a change today because they feel really internally disturbed.

Yeah. I've read that, like, statistically, women sell better to men than what men settlement?

Yeah, I think it's like 11% higher.

Yeah. Like my. My initial thought to that was that, like, probably incorrectly. So to be honest, is probably that, like, men feel uncomfortable saying they don't have the money to women. That was sort of. That was. That was like. That was my initial. But that's probably 100. An ego projection. I would. I have doubt about that. That was my initial thing because for me personally, it would be harder to tell a woman, I can't afford that. Then it would be a man. Like, that's for me personally. So I think. I think I would try and squirrel my way out of that one in a more interesting way. But that could be. Anyway, I'm not really sure. I'm not really sure why. I have a feeling also it's because maybe, you know, do you think that it's harder to sell to a woman as a woman, or do you think there's, like, more of a binder?

I think it depends on your experience with other women.

Okay.

Like, right now in my career, so easy for me to sell to women. When I was in early 20s. No. Because I would feel uncomfortable talking to other women because I used to get bullied by women in, like, high school and stuff.

Okay.

So I feel like a lot of, like, opposition towards another lady. I just wanted her to feel good. I didn't want her to feel like I was overpowering the conversation or so you just overthrow, you know, making her. I just. Yeah, I was too much in my head. With guys, it was easier because I'm like, hey, we can just like, have a conversation. And just now when it comes to being tapped into, like, the emotional side of me and understanding her needs. Right. It's easier for me to have a conversation with a woman now.

Okay, cool. What do you think are the things that, like, I guess, drew you to sales? Like, what is it? Because sales is not easy. Sales is obviously. It's an interesting game where you.

Yeah.

Essentially you referenced hunting. Like, you eat what you kill, you know?

Yes.

In the most worst possible way. You could say that. But, like, what is it that attracts you to sales? Because I think, like, women are just overall, like, from an industry standpoint, they're a minority of the industry. Not as much as people think. People think it's like 5% women. It's definitely not. It's in the 20s. But like, like, like, what is it that you think attracted you specifically to it?

So I got a really big opportunity beforehand. I was a waitress for 10 years and fine. Dieting at night, single mom, working super hard. I also went back to school, dropped out like, three times. But at this Moment in my life. I was in school. Biochem, molecular biology, Pre Med, 4.0. Also being a single mom. Yeah, I was great. I was working my ass off. Woke up every morning at 4am and I was personal training at the time. I did bodybuilding as well. So personal training in the morning and study.

And most good salespeople that I know come from a fitness background.

I think it's a discipline for sure. I absolutely agree with you on that. But I was doing so much during my day and then I was going to school and working at night and doing it every day, feeling like I was on a hamster wheel, like kind of not going anywhere. And from there I wrote a blog called embracing your inner badass. And one of my clients picked it up. That was personal training at the time. And she gave it to her friend who was on the board of the Lamborghini festival for Houston. And so they looked at my stuff and they asked me if I would be the spokesmodel for the event. And when I got there, a guy, I found out that he knew Tony Robbins personally. I was super intrigued because I love Tony Robbins. He did a lot for me, mindset wise. And so I asked him like, how do you know this guy? And he said that his mentor was Jim Rohn. And Jim Rohn mentored Tony. Right, okay. So I'm like, how do I get a mentor like that? And he asked me if I was serious. I said yes. And he told me to go home and listen to the challenge to succeed 10 times and he would have a conversation with me. So I did. It was like a nine hour long seminar and I was in a coffee shop with him on a Friday again, telling him I'm working super hard and like not going anywhere. And he's like, I want you to come work for me. And it was a Friday. By that Monday, I quit school, I quit my job, I quit my business and I started working in sales. The B2B space for smart home automation technology. Walking onto job sites, convincing builders to like give me their blueprints. Stuttering, sweating, being like super awkward. Uh, you know, that was the beginning. You know, two years later I was running the sales teams there. And then I went entrepreneurial space. But yeah, it was just like the right time, the right place, and a willingness to get really uncomfortable to figure it out, you know.

Yeah, I think right time, right place is, is, is a, is a very, I don't know, I don't believe in that. I think like, you just, you just did a series of difficult Things that, that ended up putting you in a position and then you, you saw an opportunity and you took it, you know, like. So I think like, well done to you for doing that. It's an uncomfortable, difficult situation. I don't have a dissimilar story. Like I was like fucking flat broke with a 2 year old and my wife was 8 months pregnant and I got booted out of a company for whatever reasons, it's not really important, but I had like four grand in the bank and we had a $6,000 a month rent, you know.

Yeah.

And that was in 2019, 2018. Sorry. So it wasn't very long ago. It was five years ago, four and a half years ago. And yeah, like I think when people are faced with difficult situations, they either fucking crumble or they figure it out, you know. So well done for figuring it out.

Thanks, man.

You have a daughter, right?

I have a 10 year old little girl. She's awesome.

Yes, awesome. You guys are a little power team.

We are, we are. We, we are definitely like take on the world together also. She listens to me. So she now negotiates extremely well. It's very difficult. Yeah, she's a really great negotiator.

Have you found like, have you found sales and parenting? Like, have you, have you sort of adapted some of the things that you've learned in sales to your parenting style?

Because I know I definitely have 1000%. I feel like I'm more calm. I used to like get angry. I feel like the only person can get me to yell is like that little girl. She knows they're infuriated on purpose. Right. And so being in a state of curiosity and trying to understand what's coming up for her because she can't think emotionally, like, yeah, her prefrontal cortex is not formulated. Like she can't process emotions well. And so if I can have that understanding and try to understand what's coming up for her and being that curiosity, curious state, I feel like it's been able to help me like go so much deeper with her to deepen our relationship because I actually care to understand. I don't feel like my parents did that, but they just didn't have the tools to do so.

Yeah, no, I feel like, like every generation becomes a bit more in tune. Like, I know for me, like emotions were not spoken about, not that they were taken badly in any way. My parents are great, but it wasn't like, like with my kid, I sit down if he's like, you know, scared because they don't know the difference between anxious and scared, right? They don't. I feel scared. It's like, okay, are you scared for a reason or do you just feel scared but you don't know why? It's like, okay, that's called anxiety. That's anxious. So let's talk about that. Why are you feeling that? You know, then you kind of talk through it. So, like, that definitely wasn't done, I think, in anyone in our generation, like beforehand. But also I think for me, for sales, it's allowed me just to kind of ask a few more questions, you know, like, I'm angry. Why? Or like, if I want them to do something, I'll say, is it reasonable for me to ask that? And they go, yes. And I go, why is it reasonable?

And they go, oh, that's interesting. I would use that. That's reason.

Because like, in sales, like, I think one of the main things that I learned is that everything I say is kind of just relatively unimportant. I call it garbage, right? But everything the prospect says is gospel. So in order to kind of get a sale a consistent amount of the time. And when I was selling seventh level, like I had an over 90 close rate for six months. So I close at 94 for a six month period. And like, it changed my life from an income standpoint. But I just figured out how to get salespeople to do what I want them to do. But a lot of it was like, everything what they say is so important. So if they say something that is detracting from the sale, then we need to either combat it there and then or mentally know that that's going to be a problem later. And if they say something that's really productive for the sale, we need to stop and explore that, get them to solidify why and then move on, you know, because like, we're building like a scaffolding of conversation. So. Okay, cool. All right. So like elite saleswoman Nep Q Red. Why? Why not just keep doing the sales thing?

So when I started going into online space and I was calling the people 200 calls a day, and I hated it, I had a few of my girlfriends reach out to me and they're like, hey, one was a fitness coach and one had a product. So the fitness coach reached out to me and she's like, hey, I can't sell. And then the girl with the product, she's like, hey, I have 5,000 units in my house of this product that I created and I don't know what to do with it. Please help. Right and so I sat down with both of them, and I created, like, this process and this plan, right, of what we were going to do. And I think each of them paid me, like, 500 bucks. You have to pay me something. Like, we have to have an energy exchange here. And I sat down with them, built out their whole process, and the girl started producing for fitness. And then the other girl, months later, I was in one of my girlfriend's houses. I had no idea about the situation. And the product, it was like a beauty product was on her bathroom counter, which was, like, the coolest freaking thing.

Amazing, right?

I was like, oh, look, I did. It's here. You know, it's so great. But I feel like from that moment, I was like, I'm going to start teaching these girls how to do this. And that was when I first started sales coaching. I had. It was me and it was like, 11 women and a group program. And we were calling it, like, badass, like, selling like a badass or something like that. And I was helping them, and they were coming. It was just time for money, time for money, time for money. And I was exhausted, but I was making a lot of cash. I would sell, like, $25,000 a week. And then I went to work for three weeks. I'm like, oh. Like, you know. But from there, I didn't feel like I could grow anymore because I didn't understand, like, really how to run a business or anything like that. I was just completely blind. And I got an opportunity to go into event sales. So I did event sales for a long time and, like, sold Back of the room. We had a big event for, like, Alex Hormozi, Patrick David, Gary Vaynerchuk. Our team was doing, like, back of the room tomorrow.

It's a lot of fun.

Oh, it's so fun. Especially we had, like, this thing where I would message people, and I was like, hey, if you find the redhead and you give her a secret code word, I'll give him a code word. Like, you'll be entered into a chance to win a prize. So I would have all these inner circle, like, prospects come find me. Specifically, like, oh, I can only talk to her. And so we were just raking it great. Like, just find the red hat and just give her the secret world. You'll be injured.

We'll do that at Funnel hacking life.

Yeah, exactly. Buying the redhead. Tell her this. But it was really awesome because I was learning how to negotiate in a way that I didn't know how to do before. Because you're on your feet. Right? And so just doing a lot of negotiating and running teams and came up with another opportunity to help like coaches in the online space and went through that for a few months and I was like, I'm building something. Like, I was in the state of I wanted to build something really special. And when we came up with this idea for sales training, I didn't know it was going to be women because I did the women before and I was like, ah, it didn't really work right. I was like, oh, it was just me and the women. I'm like, no, I like, I understand business a little bit differently now and like the structure of how to run it because I went through a little bit of like coaching space. Okay. I kind of saw their foundation and so we started, we started with the team instead of like me by myself. I started with a team of like 10 people that all had the same vision of what we were going to create. We did a challenge. We bring in two sales.

Marketing is hard.

Yeah, it was hard. Two sales. And then the first two sales, we didn't even keep those sales. They went somewhere else. And so now I'm in this state, I'm like, oh God, what I'm going to do. And we just figured it out. I really felt like this was the moment in my life of surrender. Like, I was like, all right, God, like if you want me to do this, help me here because I'm trying to serve. And over the next few months we had, you know, more and more clients come in. More and more clients. I think right now within like four months we brought in like now we're at like 26 people within four months or so, which was really cool. And the women started getting crazy results. Like one lady coming in, making only 30 came up now at 100k month. One lady come in, she was making $25 a deal selling her marketing services. Now she's charging over $5,000 for marketing services. She's now getting a tutor for a son. And she like completely changed her life. One woman was fighting with her husband and now they're in like a better relationship. And that's a big one.

Actually that I think happens when people learn to sell in a more non combative way is they get better at.

Negotiating their relationship 1,000%. Yeah, because you're not trying to fight because you're in opposition. So you're like agreeing and like. Yeah, but it was just, it was really cool. And I feel like that moment, it was just something burning on the inside of me. Of like, I have to do this. That I felt like every single opposition was coming up against me, but we were, like, thriving, and people were getting results, and the women were having crazy breakthroughs. And so we just kept growing, and now we're kind of like here and now. This cool opportunity of being able to grow it even bigger and. And being able to help as many women as possible has been really, really epic. So I'm really excited about this.

All right, well, where do they go and find you? Where do we find more about.

Yeah, we have a women in sale Facebook group. Women in sale. We have trainees in there twice a week. And then also my Instagram is Kayla living boldly.

Now, be very careful, children with 1L. Right? Living boldly spelled correctly, not the. The O is not a zero. There's all kinds of fake spam accounts out there. But. But yeah. So Kayla living boldly is what it is. If it gets updated at all, then we'll update the link in the comments link in the description. All right, well, that's awesome. Thanks very much. If you're out there and you know any ladies who are in sales who want to get. Become more savage while be. While staying nice and feminine, right? Some feminine. Some female lines. Actually, it gets a good analogy because the women, the female lions do all the heavy lifting, right? They do all the. They do all the hunting. You know, the guy kind of sit back and take the. Just take it the house. Husband style. I like that. I might try that.

Let me know how that works out for you, man.

I don't think it'll work. I don't think it'll go well, but yeah. No. Okay. All right, awesome. Thanks so much, Kayla. And if you guys, like, subscribe notification bell, all that kind of good stuff. And we'll see you on the next episode. Put that coffee down.