What I really think about Mindset
Matt Ryder talks about how mindset actually works in sales, leadership, and high-stress situations. He argues it's not one-size-fits-all and shares what he's learned from military and sales experience about what actually moves people.
Put that coffee down. Well, it's the mindset coach, is what I always think of whenever. Whenever I'm talking about, like, a couple of people are teaching this stuff is the mindset. People who, like, observably have never done anything hard, and it's. It's like, I don't understand.
I haven't met many life coaches that have a life then, which I want to emulate.
Yeah, yeah, that's this totally.
Yeah.
So.
But I think people put the wrong emphasis on that anyway.
What do you mean?
Well, like, I did that. We did that video the other day.
Yeah.
I just don't. And, like, the. The. It's funny, right? Because it's such a circular argument. It's like, well, you only think that mindset doesn't play an issue because you have a rock solid mindset. It's like, all right, cool, man. Or just, like, Just do my thing.
Yeah.
Like, I, like, I don't see why it raining would affect me. You know what I mean? And so people can go, that's a great mindset. But it's just like, well. Or is it just having a clear target and then just going like, okay, this makes sense that I would do the things required.
Yeah, yeah. Like, I have. I have an understanding of where I want to be, and I have war game the steps that will get me there, and I'm just ticking those off one at a time as I climb the stairs.
Like, and. And I get that, like, people have different tolerances, but I don't think that's mindset. I think it's a tolerance.
Okay.
You know, like, people will tolerate different levels of uncomfortable discomfort and pain to achieve what they want. And I think that that's more from, like, maybe they've thought more deeply about what they want or they're just built that way.
Yeah.
You know, like, I know that I'm willing to. To do way worse things than most people to get what I want. Like, but that's not a mindset thing. It's like, I was born that way.
But I think it's worth exploring a little bit on the mindset thing. Right. Because, you know, in the video we made, we can link it. Yeah, yeah. Right there you talked about people who haven't done anything hard and meditating and aligning your chakras and all that kind of stuff. And I think for some people, that maybe is super important to have the right mindset for certain things, but for others, it's absolutely not.
Yeah.
And I think that's one of the.
Things that Mindset, people don't get it. Yeah.
Well, this is what's crazy about it.
Right.
Like I see a lot of these coaches talking about mindset, that kind of stuff. And it's like, you know, I have friends that are clinical psychs that will tell you about like how the mindset is relevant to the person and the task that they're going to achieve. And I'll bet you're the same. Like I'm actually at rest. I'm quite uncomfortable. Like to me, and this is an exaggeration, but to me everything is shaking and uncomfortable to be in all the time. But when things go to high stress and I'm talking like life or death, everything just levels out. And I've never been more comfortable in my whole life as when things are high stress and I didn't understand that. Took me a long time to get that. I used to think that I was a procrastinator, you know, like I was the kid that did my homework. Like, like, you know the six week project they give you and you do it on the bus on the way to school.
Five weeks and six days to get that bitch done.
Yeah. I'm riding it on the bus on the way to school and I thought I was a piece of shit.
A B plus, no big deal.
Yeah. Well, you think you're a piece of shit or you told you're a piece of shit because you left it to the last minute. But what I learned about myself as an ad, and it takes you took me 35 years to understand this, is that I will produce a better product under that level of stress than I will just chipping away at it for six weeks. Yeah.
And I've tried the chipping away. It's always garbage.
Yeah.
Just redo it at last minute.
Exactly. Yeah. So. But, but that's not true of everyone. You and I, we got similar personality. That's the case. But then when I see people. Yeah, but when I see people like, oh, this is the way to do it and this is the right mindset, it's like hang on. The right mindset for who? And what personality type and what training do you have? But that's identify. Exactly.
That's why I can see he's young.
Yeah. Right.
You know, like he's a really smart dude.
Yeah.
And I'm probably meet him at clickfunnels, you know what I mean? But like I can see his youth.
Okay.
And I can see his lack of having children.
Yeah, yeah.
Because like he talks in definitives a lot of the time. This is. Now that may just be for content. This is the way you should do it. This is the way you should think about it. It's just not how it is.
Okay.
And like the older that I get, and I'm like 38, like I'm old or anything like that, the older I get. I've had a relatively experienced life. I've lived in many countries, have done lots of things. I've had businesses that have worked and ones that have failed and all that kind of stuff in different industries. And so I kind of have the benefit of experience and I can see it's like, it's just not how. There's like every box is different and you have to treat every box as different. And that's one of the reasons why I was good at sales, I think, is because I didn't come in with a set of assumptions about a person, you know, so it's just kind of like look at the situation, then look at all the variables and then from there you make a decision. And yes, you use your past references as, like, as a key point. But you have to, you know, like, how I deal with the news, how I deal with is going to be different than how I deal with another. Like, you know, he's coming on.
Oh really?
Yeah, yeah. I spoke to him the other day. Right. And it's like he's going to come on. He's a very different beast.
Yeah, yeah.
He's a 38 year old former special forces sniper who's going to come in and be a B sales guy. He's going to require very different sets of motivation and very different management techniques and all kinds of stuff. And you know, like, it's just a different human.
Yeah.
So for me, going like, this is how you get the most out of a sales team. That's not the case. Yeah, it is in that particular case, but not in every case.
Yeah, exactly. And that's lessons learned from having done it, man. Like, you know, I've been at a. When we're in the army, I've been an assault team commander.
Yeah.
And I've been a sniper team leader or the sniper platoon sergeant. They're different things, different human beings. You cannot treat them as the same. Assault is like, we're a clique, we're a team. We don't do anything without each other. Snipers, like, don't tell me what to do. I'll be over there, you'll be over here.
Yeah.
Like, and if you try and lead or manage those people in the same way, you this is why you get so much bad leadership. Because it's like, I pick up the template and I put it over here, and everybody does exactly what I expect them to do. It's like, yeah, it's just not how it goes. And so, like, I just don't understand how people can do that with, like, your mindset's incorrect for the sales process. It's like, what is my mindset? Yeah, like, you tell me about it. Like, what? You unpack me right here. If you're going to tell me what my mindset is, right or wrong. Told me all about my mindset. Put that coffee down. Coffee's for closers only.
