027 - Why This Podcast Makes Us Uncomfortable with Dr Myriam Hadnes

In this solo episode of the Unprofessionalism podcast, host Myriam Hadnes interrogates the concept of professionalism and proposes a re‑imagined definition of "unprofessionalism" as purposeful, risk‑taking behavior that improves workplaces when adopted broadly. She argues that AI threatens to cement narrow, conformist standards by learning what is deemed professional, making work environments bland. Drawing on examples such as Donald Trump’s rule‑breaking politics and Princess Diana’s compassionate defiance of royal protocol, Myriam illustrates how authenticity without self‑regulation can be harmful, while deliberate, values‑aligned risk can be transformative. She introduces a test: if everyone in a similar role copied the behavior, would the organization be better? If not, it fails her unprofessionalism criteria. The episode explores the discomfort that arises from questioning long‑standing, often unwritten norms, the tension between seeking permission versus acting autonomously, and how hierarchy, dress codes, language, and cultural expectations shape our sense of professionalism. Myriam reflects on the lack of formal governing bodies for many professions, noting that norms are socially copied, and calls listeners to define their own professional rules, break the armor of conformity, and create more humane, creative workplaces.
Chapters
What happens if we dare to tear off the mask of professionalism and actually risk showing up for real? I'm your host, Myriam Hadnes, and this is Unprofessionalism. There is no professionalism police. And I think now with AI, and I might repeat myself, the real risk is that AI knows exactly what's professional in our domains, and it will guide us to conform and to do that because everyone is doing it. But this makes us so vanilla and so boring. So what I'm sitting with and what I invite you to sit with is What is your very personal definition of professionalism? Why do you care so much that you don't care what other people think? Each time I believe that I finally understood the concept of unprofessionalism, the universe magically reminds me that I am not there yet. And this brings me into a deeply uncomfortable situation. Because I have the ambition and the expectation of myself to guide you as a listener through this journey to learn what unprofessionally means, how to become more unprofessional yourself, so that together we can make work a better place, so that we can question outdated professional norms and ditch them if they don't support us or the organizations we work for. And today it felt as if someone pitched Donald Trump to come on my podcast. And for a moment, I was— first I was shocked. I was like, oh, how dare you? Of course, this is not my definition of unprofessionalism. And then I checked what is actually the definition that I have used. And Donald Trump definitely challenges professional norms. He does things that nobody else would dare doing, and the entire world, big majority of the world, looks at him and says, oh, you cannot do that as a politician. He's perfectly authentic. Some might say, unfortunately, I would say unfortunately, there's definitely a lack of self-regulation. Which also shows that being fully authentic is not always a good thing if we are not regulated and not self-aware. He is taking professional risks. That was my latest insight, that in order to be unprofessional, according to the definition of my little world of unprofessionalism, someone has to take a deliberate professional risk in breaking rules. But the thing that only today occurred to me that was missing in my definition was actually the bigger cause. Why are we actually doing that? It's not for our own purpose to have a better career, to make more money, or to gain more status or fame. No, and according to my understanding or the ambition of this podcast and project, Unprofessional behavior in this context must have a bigger mission. It must almost qualify as becoming something like a role model behavior. So what I realized is that there must be a test question. If everyone in an organization or in a similar position, or if everyone independent of their hierarchical position would copy that behavior, would that make the organization or the workplace or the world a better place? And if the answer is clearly no, then it's not what I understand or want to promote as unprofessionalism. And this was quite a revelation because I realized that with this podcast, I create a lot of discomfort for myself, for my guests, for the audience. Yes, for you, maybe. I receive lots of emails with comments and realized that unprofessionalism pushes us out of our comfort zone quite regularly, exactly because My aim is to share stories and to introduce professionals, people who are dedicated to their work, who really care for what they're doing, who have amazing professional careers. And I push them to share a behavior that might trigger a response sounding like, But you cannot do that, right? If there's no potential, oh, you cannot do that response, it doesn't qualify as unprofessionalism. And it's exactly that response that makes it so uncomfortable because we are questioning norms that have been there for decades, sometimes for centuries, that are so close to our heart. But then they're different kind of norms or they're different kind of reactions of, but you cannot do that. And I think this is where the discomfort starts and where it might be valuable for you as the audience, as much as for me, to sit with the discomfort for a moment longer to really inspect where it's coming from. Because I recognized in myself that sometimes when a podcast guest would share a story, I catch myself thinking, but you cannot share this on the podcast, right? Although I invited them to do that. And I'm anticipating the judgment from the audience. And maybe there's even a judgment myself. Oh, but you cannot speak about drugs. Oh, but you cannot curse on the podcast. Oh, what will people think of you if you do But you cannot speak like that to your boss. And so I think there are 2 different reasons why we might have that reaction. One is that we are still believing that we need permission to do that. And that's something worth considering. And that's what I'm so grateful for when I hear the guests speaking about it. That we actually learn that just because we thought that we cannot do that doesn't mean that we really can't. Introducing an informal way of speaking to our boss might in some circumstances be an offense. And as we heard from Emmanuel, might be worth taking the risk. Speaking about drug usage, plant medicine, Can be a huge risk, but what if it opens a conversation and brings us closer to our employees and our team members? If we haven't tried it, but then there's always a caveat where, how do we create the conditions in which we can be unprofessional? How do we test the waters? How do we decide For which employer to work. And I think through the episodes and the conversations with the different guests, I have learned a lot about the impact of these workplaces and that we always have choice. There are some guests who have left the workplaces that didn't work for them. I had actually Mariam and Gustavo who started to interview their employers or their clients to see if they're actually a match, because it's always a two-sided relationship. And who defines that there's always the party that pays that must have the final decision? So we have much more agency when it comes to accepting the norms that we are presented, and sometimes not even presented, at least not formally, but the norms that we Are exposed to. So unprofessionalism, I also learned from Benjamin that it has to be a deliberate choice. We have to know the norms that we are breaking so that it qualifies as unprofessional. Again, in under the umbrella of this microcosmos that I'm creating. So yeah, so to come back to the discomfort, there is a discomfort from the permission we are seeking or that we are not expecting to receive when we behave unprofessionally. And then there's also discomfort that might come from our values. So how do we relate to hierarchy? to dress codes, to formality in interaction, cursing, right? And I think this is the interesting part for me on a meta level, and also on a very personal level, actually, to realize or to tap into the question, why do I feel uncomfortable? Why might I feel triggered when I hear a certain story? Is it because it touches— a value of mine and something that I'm really not okay with? Or is it something that I might wanna play with or embrace? I was actually watching, I am watching the series The Crown on Netflix, and I'm in season, I don't even know which season that is, but it's about Princess Diana, and I couldn't help myself but seeing the unprofessionalism scene, uh, right there. Princess Diana breaking the professional rules, all of them, and being very authentic, trying to express herself and to show the world more humanity. There was a scene where she was, um, Touching an HIV-positive kid, um, in the '80s, I think, '90s, I guess, which was a very risky act, but also a sign of deep empathy and compassion. And still, I definitely don't have enough knowledge to judge, to say whether it was right what she did or whether it was wrong. But I can see this tension between a very strict container of professional rules, how the crown has to behave and everyone around them. And then this one individual who deliberately breaks all these rules and fights her own liberation fight. And it's not on me to judge whether it's good or bad. And I think that is something that I really Enjoy exploring on good days. On bad days, I struggle exploring on the podcast and with the guests and around the theme. Where do I sit with all of that? What are the choices I'm making? When am I just following the unwritten rules of professionalism? When am I a victim of— Everything that has been decided for me from my family, my culture, my work environment, the professional rules of conduct and ways of working on social media, on emails, on podcasting. There's so many things that are actually unwritten but are passed from one expert in air quotes to the next and that we just adopt because we think that's the way of doing. And I think this comes from the— little side note, little tangent— this coming from the fact that for the utmost professions, there is no formal body that would declare what is professional, what's not, what cannot be accepted. There are some professions where that's very clear. For lawyers, for medical doctors, for teachers, all of those professions, they have to profess a vow and they have to go through all kinds of training and assessment so that they can wear the title of their profession. But for the very most others, there is no formal body. So how do we know what professional is? We look around us and we look at those that we consider professional and then we just copy whatever they do. And now I'm wondering whether this is actually the way of doing it. What if we did it differently? In most cases, there's no professionalism police. And I think now with AI, and I might repeat myself, the risk is, the real risk is that AI knows exactly what's professional in our domains. And it will guide us to conform and to do that because everyone is doing it. But this makes us so vanilla and so boring. So what I'm sitting with and what I invite you to sit with is what is your very personal definition of professionalism? Where do you care so much that you don't care what other people think? You are an expert in your field, and that's why You can define your own rules. What is it that you're doing that actually avoids, prevents you from having deeper human connection, from being at your very best selves? And how can you break out of that? Because most probably, and that's something that I've learned from all these podcast guests, we do have choice. We can break out of this armor. That we call professionalism. And that actually prevents us from being fully ourselves and thriving, being creative, making a change, creating organizations that are actually worth working for. So yeah, the next time you think that you cannot do that, I invite you to think twice and ask the question, What if I actually could? And maybe there's an opportunity opening, or at least you learn something about your own values. Curious about what you think. This was a conversation without the script. Now it's your turn. I'm Myriam Hadnes, and this has been Unprofessionalism.
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