How To Get Your Partner On The Same Page (Can You Really Have It All?)

Amanda Sabri Subhi joins me now in the studio. I really look at business as an incredible vehicle to really make good and make change in the world.

How do you do it all? You've got two girls, you got a great marriage, you've got a massive business, you've got the best selling book, you're doing the shows like this one. How do you do it?

Sacrifice is definitely key, but it's also having a partner that's on the same page as you. Right. So that's just absolutely crucial. And a key to have everything is making sure that you and your partner are clear. You're on the same page with what it is that you're fighting for and where you're trying to get to and what are the roles that each person is going to take in order for you to get there. Right. And it's, you know, you know, one of the things that I see, you know, in society so like so much today is that like, you know, everyone wanting to kind of be equal and doing the same things. Right. And I think I'm obviously 100% on the whole equality piece. But that doesn't mean that there aren't different roles just as there's different roles on a sports team. Centers and shooting guards and linebackers and all of the different things you need to be understand of. Like, okay, this is what our life is going to look like. This is what our family unit's going to look like. This is how much money that we're going to need to be bringing in in order to support this lifestyle and to try and get to where we want to go. Now let's have a look at what are those roles look like. Right. What, how can we have it all? How can we still have a great relationship? How can we have a really good relationship with our children and be present but still have the financial wherewithal to be able to provide that life.

Yeah, absolutely. And I love this conversation and I would love to know then what's the rhythm in communication that you and your partner have? Is there annual planning? Is there weekly meetings? What do you do? Because I think it's so valuable for the couples listening to hear your perspective on that and your plan.

Yeah. The very first meeting that you have is a very confronting one for most people because there's a lot of things that aren't talked about in relationships and like expectations and things that, that are kind of, they just go unsaid but they're never really addressed. So when you bring them to the service and have that really Hairy conversation. And you put it out on a one pager. It looks like this is where we're going. This is where let's both row the ship in the right one direction. Then you've kind of got the hardest part done, which is getting on the same page. And then, you know, me and my partner will typically talk about these things, you know, once a. A year. And we'll plan it once a year. We'll be talking about it all the time. Right. And be talking about, okay, this is what I did. This is the win for us to do what we want to do. Because I tend to plan my year in a year in advance and then I break it down into quarters. So they're really intensive sprints for 90 days. And then we will have some time off or a holiday or whatever that looks like. So there's very clear goals of what's going to happen in the first quarter. We're going to be doing a trip to here. We're going to do this. We want to do this with the girls. This is something that we need to get in order. So we're planning it 90 days, you know, in advance on the execution. But the big picture happens once a year. To expand on that, it's like, it's the sacrifice right there is like, you know, successful people pay the price. They do all the things that unsuccessful people aren't willing to do, and they want success to dawn on them. That does. That's a myth. It doesn't happen. Right. You need to become somebody that is worthy of success and then it will flow to you. So that involves, like, discipline. Like, I know that you're big on waking up early. I have a thing where it's like for every daughter that I've had, I've had to wake up an hour earlier. For each child that I have another child, I'll be waking up an hour earlier because I just don't want to fall victim to. I don't have enough time. I will create time. Right. I'll do what I need to do.

And I really love that in your book because you, you know, one thing obviously here at Early Arise, where we're very much about the morning rout routine, and I definitely want to ask you about that because you have a very similar philosophy about the morning as I do. So I'll let you go on and then we'll ask you about that.

Yeah, it's just basically, that's the thing. That's the way that you can. You can have it all. But there are sacrifices that need to be made right. So, like, I'm not one of those people that say you can't have it all. Like, if your business is doing well, then your relationship is going to be a shambles or the relationship with your parents or your health and your wealth, wellness. Like, no, you can have it all, but you really do need to make sacrifices about, you know, what it is that you're willing to tolerate and, you know, what are those ships that you're willing to burn in order to get you to be balanced. Right. I don't like, I look at success as being like a polymath. I want to be well balanced in all different areas. I don't just want to be like a really good marketer, be a horrible father, right? So I try and look at ways that you can balance those things and by cutting out ruthlessly the things that aren't important to you and that don't support you in getting excellence in those different areas of your life. And there's so much fluff and filler and fat that can be chopped out if you're disciplined enough.

Do you communicate parameters to an assistant or do you kind of have your own set of mental rules that allow you to say, you know, go or no go on an opportunity that comes your way?

Yeah, definitely. You know, I ruthlessly look at my calendar and my time and have everything scheduled out and try and architect a life where I don't have a lot of that nonsense. Like, you'll see me, I only wear black T shirts. Like, I don't want to have the decision fatigue. I don't want to be waking up and wondering what I'm going to be wearing. Like, I'm very simplistic in that approach. And I look at the debt that I accumulate from adding things to my life and the complexity that that involves. If you add other layers in, right. If you add even just different types of clothing is a level of complexity that you're adding. Right? So I try and just engineer a life that's very streamlined. So I am disciplined and I don't need to wait for motivation to dawn on me. I have a life that is like. It's like a kind of. These are the things that are important to me. Let me sit down. Take the 10,000 foot view of what it would look like if I had all the important big blocks in there because the unimportant stuff moves into white space on the calendar. But if there's important stuff blocked out, then it's impossible to fill that calendar that time up with things that aren't important because all the important things are planned. So I do have, I call them a professional fixer who obviously manages all the life admin tasks and all the things that aren't the big needle movers for me, but then also just having very, very disciplined of like, you know, when I'm going to be doing things, when I'm going to be executing things. And for some people, that might sound boring. That doesn't. That's not. My life isn't full of spice and fun. I do, but it's like I know I can maximize those times because I know that I'm going hard when I'm away from my family and my kids. I'm not just shooting the shit in my inbox, not really doing anything like I'm violently executing. And then when it isn't time to violently execute, I can unplug. Switch off. If you enjoyed this video, please like and subscribe. We're dropping a video like this almost every single day on YouTube and if you've got any questions, leave them in the comments box below with heysubrey and I'll do my best to get in there and get that answered.

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