How To Write Throat Grabbing Facebook Ad Copy (Real-life Scenario)

Former NFL player reveals cutthroat fitness program to get men shredded. Which is the best performing headline that you're running right now.

So this is the headline with the most amount of leads.

Cool. And I would have assumed that because that's the one also that is the most direct in terms of the big end benefit that they want an ex NFL player. So we're clout chasing on that. We're leveraging all of that credibility, which is fantastic. And then he goes under oath. Wow. What? Like why would he go under oath? Like there's a lot of intrigue around there. So you've got credibility, intrigue and specific benefit. There's not really a surprise why it doesn't work. Whereas you go back to the ads library again, right. My initial concern with these ones had was that like if you scroll up the top is that like for instance, unleash your inner superhuman. Right. That is, it's more like I can kind of see that it's not just information. Like we are trying to sell something. Like if you imagine the front of a newspaper, they're gonna have something that like ex NFL pro, like getting men in crazy shape. Right. Something like that. They're probably not going to run a headline like Unleash your superhuman because it's not advertorial, it's selling whatever the brand that they'd be featuring. And they don't like to cross those lines. Just making it more in line with like this is a viral news story that I'm going to be reading that still has the end benefit. So by having Fight Club ready and then also having CEOs and A listers, it's not as good as your best performing headline from a creative that's speaking to like all men that want to get shredded. And it's also specific. It's not, we're not being cute around like Fight club ready. Right. And you probably have done that because you don't want to use the word shredded. Right? Because it is risky. I'm with you on that. So that's the first thing I would try to make something I would probably, I probably wouldn't do the 90 days. I'd probably put incredibly fast or something like that and then allow the VSL to talk about the specific terms or getting shredded faster than anything because that's also a not a very specific thing. Or even ex NFL player goes under oath about brand new shredding system. Right. Again, it's just like it's not as strong as the 90 days, but it's.

More compliant still has the intrigue and benefit as well.

Yeah, it does. And then let's look at your lead in copy.

Yeah, so this is the one that.

Is best performing and I wouldn't have guessed that. I really think that we can outperform that. This is the daily reminder that kids don't care about the CEO status. Like for me that doesn't have any relevance to the claim that we're making. Like I know his whole thing is that like you know, building yourself into the better man that your wife loves and that your kids respect, that's the secondary thing that they probably, that's a justifying selling argument rather than the main thing that they want. And look, the numbers are going to tell us, but I would run one that's more along the lines of like, you know, if you've done intermittent fasting, if you've done cardio, if you've done paleo, if you've done like the classic bodybuilding three day split, if you've done F45 in this, but no matter what you've tried, you've never been able to get into the best shape of your life. Well, I can tell you that, that it's not like your fault and I would, I would have the primary selling argument about getting into the best shape and I would split test that against this whole like, you know, chasing your wife around the bedroom and the kids looking up to you and all of that kind of stuff.

So like with a lead in such as if you've done intermittent fasting, cardio, paleo, that sort of stuff.

Yeah.

Is that like we don't even need.

To say if you've done, we can just go paleo, keto, intermittent fasting.

Because they're all stuff that will like.

Capture that attention, you know, high protein, three day bodybuilding split, like that's gonna be like. Yeah, it's getting everything that everybody's talking about.

I think it's just like that first attention grabbing, like couple of lines that really draws in the prospect and it's.

Way more important than the body copy is the lead. So we spend a disproportionate amount of time on it.

Yeah, okay.

Right. And then just thinking about like what kind of offers is this market that I'm going to be targeting? What are they getting hammered with, what they're getting saturated with? Right. What works the best in, in this space. The ex NFL angle is phenomenal. Right. Goes under oath is also incredible. So all of that stuff is really, really good. And then just yeah, the lead ins. No way. Near gripping enough.

So what do you think about when you think about that first line?

I just think about grabbing them by the throat and sucking them in. So, like one way is going to be through, like having the identity triggers of Paleo, intermittent fasting, keto and stuff. And another one might be like, I hear it every day, right? You know, it's my genetics or I, no matter what I do, I've got this stubborn ex that I can't lose weight. You can't say fat, of course, but I'm just rifting. I would make it compliant. I worry about making compliant after I've actually gotten the copy out, right. I hear it every day. You know, basically people saying like, I tried this and it didn't work. Da, da da, da, da da. And it's just like a gripping thing. Like, what is that conversation that is going on inside the mind of my prospect? I know that this isn't the first exercise or fitness program that they've started. So to me, to pretend like it is would be stupid, right? So I know that they are already going to come up with excuses in their mind of why this is like something that they've seen or heard about before. And it's my job to convince them that this is a new Eve offer. It is new, unique, easy, exciting, predictable and huge. And I start off by the dialogue that's going on in their head. This, that's what the, you know, the 600 men that I've helped transform their lives also told me. What I learned from being on the front lines working with like the leading athletes in the country is that da, da, da, da da. And then go into your big system and how is it unique from all the other fitness stuff that's out there right now? How is it different? That's the major thing that you're going to need to address because you've got a huge, big, dominant, big benefit that that market wants, which is to get shredded, right? So it's a huge mass market offer that, that you do have. Naturally, the biggest problem that we're going to have is people actually believing us. They're not going to. It's not going to be a problem. Is, is there a desire for this? There is a proven. It's the biggest, one of the biggest markets you can ever have something in. So we're all sorted on that front. You know, it comes down to reading like news sites and seeing copy that grabs you and sentences and little things that wink at you and get you intrigued and, and like, just be like curious about like the stuff that people are sharing with you and what gets your attention. The reason that like the people say, oh this is clickbaity. It's like, well what, like what is the opposite of clickbait? It's having something that no one would want to click on. So that's the last thing that I would want on my shit. It's like I want my shit to have a bait that's going to get someone to click. Like that's what we're actually trying to do. So that's why when you look at the reason that when you're looking at clickbait that works, it's like, well it works is because it gets people to click it. So it gets people to click it. That's what I'm trying to do. So how do I put that in there and make it look less spammy and use our whole like King Kong format of like big benefit plus clickbait, right? To have that, that really good hook that we need it to. They don't tell you the whole story and that's the whole goal just to get you on that grease slope to read the rest of the body copy. So one of the ones that I'm running right now as an identity trigger on one of the free reports is like I would give anything to finally find out how to rank at the top of Google because I know that people do and they Google it all the time and they're googling their brand name and they wonder why their competitors above them. So there's like a big huge amount of intrigue. So whatever that is for my market, you have to obviously think about what that is for what you're doing. Well, the guys that you're speaking to, they're out of shape. They've tried multiple different things before. They've put on weight with lockdowns. These are all the things they think that this doesn't work or they might think, yeah, it's all good for this dude, he's a frickin ex NFL athlete. Like what about me? Like I'm an IT manager. So like you know, talking, addressing all of those concerns, but it's just about finding ways to grip them in. And you only know that by, you know, when you write all the body copy, like what we just did with Sophie's and we found that the second, the second line was way better than the first. So we just chop out the first line and you'll find like those points within your body copy that are really great. And usually the lead is this hits hidden in the body copy and then you just move it up. Yeah. Spending a lot of time on that. But I think that just making these more. More intriguing and definitely more specific. Like, there's this. We've got, we're sending two different messages. One message on the lead in is talking about how their children is looking at them or how their wife is looking at them. And then on the other one, we're talking about, like, getting shredded and there's like a superhuman. Have it all aligned on one and see how that performs for you.

Okay. Amazing. Thank you so much.

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