The Alex Hormozi Cookbook [REVEALED]

So you want to get shredded in 2024? Well, you're going to need lots of exogenous testosterone and to pick better parents. But if you're not going to do either of those things, I've got 12 protein packed recipes that require zero time, zero prep, have almost zero carbs, almost zero fat, and tons and tons of protein. This alone has over 200 grams of protein and almost none of the other macros. And I'm going to show you this recipe at the end of the video. First, let's talk about chef Bro RD to the rescue. So breakfast, the least talked about thing of the day. It was like breakfast of champions for old people. It's also great for gains. So if you're somebody who struggles to eat enough like I do, or if you're somebody who eats too much, also works for you. I'm going to show you how to make a 100 gram protein bomb for zero prep in just a minute using stuff that you have at home that actually tastes delicious. So, number one, I use this fiat yogurt. There's plenty of other brands, it doesn't really matter. I use the 0%. This puppy has 94 grams of protein in it and just under 500 calories for this whole thing. And if you have this whole thing, it is filling. And for people who struggle with dairy, yogurt tends to do a little bit better than somebody who just drinks pure milk because it's already turned, it's already has some of those metabolites and all that fancy stuff that I know nothing about. That being said, I do know that if you eat that, compared to drinking a gallon of milk, that's easier on the stomach. Now we're going to take something that's all natural and we're going to ruin it with lots of artificial flavors so that it's actually delicious. And you can use a bowl. What I usually do is I just put it in here because I don't like dishes. And I will take fruit punch. I like berry. Personally. There's different ones. There's like a berry sangria that's pretty good. And the nice thing with this is that these are always available everywhere. So if you travel and usually have your mainstays at home, you're like, shoot, what do I do? Like, almost every grocery store nowadays has Greek yogurt. And so I put about half of one of these guys in and this is like for a pitcher. So I figured this is about half a pitcher of fluid. So I put half of one of these guys in and then I I mixy, mixy, mixy. Now, if you do need a bigger bowl because it does make it easier to mix just for visuals. I'll show you guys. You put this guy in. That looks great. And then we just mix this guy. So this is my prep time. Can we start the timer? Here's my prep time. You also get a nice little forearm pump. So you get a little pre workout workout, if you know what I'm talking about. What's cool about this is it actually smells like Yokley or Dannon or any of your favorite, you know, yogurt. Yogurt brands that we know and loved. We grew up and then later found out they were made by big Pharma to kill us and all that stuff. Anyways, I like Fruity Pebbles, so this is my preferred cereal of choice. Let's take this guy out. And so here's the cool part, is that this can stretch a really long way. So a cup of this has 140 calories in it and 30 grams of carbs, pretty much nothing else. It's almost all carbs. All right, so let me show you guys a fancy trick. So leave the actual cereal scooper as one cup in there so that you always know what you're getting every time. And so for me, I pull out my cup, make sure it's even on the top. Don't give yourself a heaping scoop. All right? And then after that, I know I've got 140 calories of carbs. And so rather than mix them in because then they get soggy when what I'll do is I'll sprinkle some on top. Doesn't that look delicious? And then I'll peel off the first layer. They stay crunchy. And then I'll put the next layer on, and then I'll peel off the second layer so I can actually have this nice fruity pebble crunch all the way through it. And you can see I didn't like, I barely used a lot of my cup. And I just did two kind of coverings worth. And you can use like a cup is plenty. You could do a half cup, like if you're dieting, because I've done this when I was dieting. If you use a half cup of this, it's 70 calories, it's 15 grams of carbs. And this thing's 500 calories of protein with basically nothing else in it. Almost nothing else. Right. And so that's my choice. It's like this is a filling breakfast. All right? You put all this in here, that is a filling, filling breakfast. It looks like a massive bowl of cereal, except this has almost 100 grams of protein in it. It doesn't take any time to prep. And if you eat it out of there, which is what I normally do, you don't even have any dishes. Let's see if it's as good as I remember it. Still delicious, by the way, if you do have a beard. Beard, Nemesis. So definitely check yourself in the mirror before you leave the house. Otherwise you have pink shit all over your face. That being said, let's go to the next one. By the way, I'm making these recipes because the last video I did, so many of you guys commented saying, like, give us a part two. So this is part two. And we'll have the recipes in the link in the description. Enjoy. So this was a lunch that I had for, like a couple years because I tend to stick with the same thing for a really long time until one day I decide I'm gonna have something different. But this is an awesome lunch. So this is Ezekiel bread, which is just fancy, organic schmancy bread that has, I don't know, less preservatives, whatever. It's in the refrigerated section and it's like a dollar and a half more. Anyways, so I had this stuff because I figured if I'm gonna have it every day, I try to eat better stuff. So that being said, take two of these guys. And if you want to know per slice, each slice of this thing is only 80 calories, which is not bad for a slice of bread, especially given how, like, weighty it is. So some. Some slices of bread are, like, kind of foamy. You could, like, mash it in your hand and put into a little itty bitty ball. This has more weight to it. So it's 80 calories. It's got 5 grams of protein in it, 15 grams of carbs, and almost no fat. Now, if you like toast, which I do, there's speed toasters that can toast it in like half the time or a third of the time. And every minute is precious to me. So I have a speed toaster that I toast these guys in. But just to keep this video rolling, imagine these are toasted. All right, so once it's toasted, what I do. And I've experimented with different ways to eat this because I ate it every single day for like two years. And is, I have fat free cream cheese. All right, so this is zero fat cream cheese, which you're like, how does that Even work? Honestly, no idea. It's probably some sort of Frankenfood. It just kind of has the texture of cream cheese. I think they use milk to make it. Who honestly knows? I don't really care that much, but it tastes pretty good. The way to do this guy is usually sometimes they'll have like little measurement things on here. If you have a scale, because you want to be precise. Awesome. I have done it enough times to know kind of like what a tablespoon looks like. And so that's about what that looks like. And by the way, these are low fat locks. Again, I'm a low fat guy, which means it's pretty. If you have fish that doesn't have carbs in it and used to have fat, what's left? Protein. So this is pretty much close to the same macros as a chicken breast. Kind of cool. It is a little bit drier, just to be fair, but for me, I didn't really care that much. The taste was good enough for me and that worked different ways you can eat it. Version one is you put the cream cheese on and you layer that on top. I don't like that because the bread starts to get soggy. The next way you can do it is that you can put the salmon on here and then bite by bite, put the cream cheese on. That way does work because it doesn't like the salmon doesn't really make the bread wet. But the problem is that the salmon is really hard to bite into because then you pull the whole thing off of the bread. And so after eating this, a lot of times I have settled on the third way of doing it, which is that I actually mash this guy up into like salmon tartare. All right? So I just cut the out of this thing and I really, I'm not even trying to, like, grind it up. I just want to make it in big enough slices that if it comes, like, I'm not going to tear the whole thing off the bread when I eat it. So that I like, I still have salmon that's on there when I'm eating it. All right, tricks of the trade. Now, once I have this, now what I'll do is I'll take my cream cheese, I'll throw this guy on of some of this on, and then I just take my bite and I just do that over and over and over again. And that has been how I ate it for years and years and years. So the bread stays crunchy. I don't have to accidentally eat half my salmon in one bite. And then just eat plain ass bread the rest of the time. And the cream cheese stays cold. Because if the cream cheese is cold and then the bread is hot, they just end up being lukewarm and sucking. And so this stays crunchy and hot, this stays cold and creamy. And and then I have a biteable amount of salmon that doesn't tear off at once. And that is how I eat this thing. Now let's talk about macros real quick. So remember, this thing's all protein. This is more or less all protein. And this is low calorie. So if you didn't want to eat Ezekiel, I would just say go with low calorie bread. I just try to minimize my carb intake unless I'm trying to eat them on purpose. And so I pretty much just eat protein throughout the day. And then when I am going to eat carbs, never skip dessert, I go, any carbs for real? And I eat as many carbs as I feel like. So like I said in the beginning, I try to eat around 100 grams of protein per meal. And so I would actually do three of these guys and I eat them as open faced sandwiches. So I have fewer carbs overall. And so I'd put about 4 ounces of this protein lox on here. I'd have my bread and I'd have 2, 3, maybe 5 grams of protein that would come from the cream cheese. And so between the 20ish that comes from this, the 3 to 4 that comes from this, and the 5 that comes from this, I get about 30ish grams of protein per open faced sandwich. There's my 90. If you guys are paying attention at home, this is actually not enough salmon for what would be on one sandwich. So the salmon gets stacked up because remember, this is protein, right? So I'm going to show you this because this is aesthetically what it would look like at a fancy restaurant. But in the brotastic kitchen, this is how much salmon would actually be on your sandwich. All right, So I actually tried to eat as much as I could on these open faced puppies so that I could then get swole. All right, so there we go. Now I put it like this and I could take these massive man bites. And so I have three of these guys, but I didn't want to throw away pounds of salmon for no reason, because those salmon give their lives for us like that. Boom. Delicious. So I have three of those guys, 90 grams of protein, all in calories, 240 calories from the bread, probably 100 or two from the cream cheese and the rest is just protein coming from the salmon. And if you have a beard, once again, so you don't look like you have a facial, wipe your face. Delicious. So we just crushed lunch. Now let's talk about snacks on the go. So two of my favorite snacks that you know on the go that you can eat pretty much anywhere in the continental United States or you got jerky and you got light key point string cheese. All right, so let's dive in. So what you might not know and again, this isn't for all the healthy people. If you're going to be a healthy person then just go watch another video. But if you just want protein, this is for you. All right? Now, original jerky and I found this out later, has a lot of protein in it. All right, so this is, this little guy has six servings of 10 grams of proteins. There's 60 grams of protein in this. There's less than 500 calories. Not bad. All right, so it's 480 calories, 60 grams of protein. And so not a bad snack that you're on the way on the go. So if you don't have time to eat or something like that, but you are a bigger guy and you need more calories and if you're a smaller guy and need fewer calories, just cut it in half. All right. Now the other thing is string cheese. Now I use scoops of whey protein or pure protein sources as a good litmus test for is this a purer or less pure protein source? Alright, so like if you have a, like the purest version of this is that you have a 120 calorie scoop of protein is 24 grams ish of protein. That's about as lean as you're going to get in any kind of normal food. Now if you have four of these guys, it's 200 calories and 24 grams of protein. All right? So not, I mean really, really close. And the added amount that comes from this is fat. So there's two and a half grams of fat. There's almost no carbs in this, in the string cheese. And so if I have four string cheeses and this guy, I've got 84 grams of protein and you're like man, four string cheeses and all that, it's like, yeah, it's kind of like a meal, which is kind of the point. And so you can have this on the go. And all in all you'd be up 680 calories with 84 grams of protein and the stuff keeps great. So if you just want to like have a snack on the go and you don't eat 100 grams in one sitting, you just open it up, take a part. Fucking tough. Not all of them are good, but that one's okay. I'll bet you the string cheese goes down a little easier because that's super dry. And you can pair this with a lovely sauvignon water. And this guy, though, people are like, how do you eat six string cheeses? You gotta like bite one bite, two, eat six of them. Honestly, six string cheeses, it's just because they serve these to like 4 year olds. But like, the string cheese is just not that much cheese. It's like two bites. So it's really just having 12 bites of cheese. It's not nearly as much as you think about it. They just package it like this so they can charge you more, but it's not that much. It's this, this not a lot of cheese. All right, there we go. It's like three bites. I'm remembering now why I eat this jerky. And the cheese actually tastes delicious together. It's meat and cheese. It's actually really good. So this is for those of you who are just rich and feel like spending more money but still don't want to have anything but protein. Bring on the next one. So I used to eat this when I was cutting. So this is my cutting diet. So this is shrimp that's been peeled and cooked already. So you can get this from the freezer section or if you're really fancy, you can get from the fresh section. I prefer the freezer section because it's cheaper. So for all you fancy motherfuckers, boom. Shrimp, which all you have to do is defrost it. This came pre all whatevered. All right, so you just let it thaw. Alright. The way that I did is I just do it under the sink because it thaws it faster and then it just comes cold. Ish. And then you take this puppy. This is top cocktail sauce, which by the way, has 30 calories per quarter cup, which you're not going to have more than like a quarter of a cup anyways. All right, maybe two. All right, so this is probably, I don't know, a half cup maybe. And so I got 60 calories of tartar sauce. So all you got to do is dip one of these puppies in. This is the fancy eating instruction. Turkey butter. That's it. Very easy. You do whatever you want. The nice thing is that most People can, unless you're allergic to shrimp. Most people digest shrimp pretty well. And so the nice thing is that usually shrimp has a lot of volume, and so it's very filling. I found it filling. And so if you want to be fancy, you can do that. And if you want to be a little less fancy, you can have like 8 ounces of chicken and 8 ounces of shrimp. Or if you want to be a little bit less fancy but still feel fancy, you can have 4 ounces of shrimp and 12 ounces of other shit. Doesn't really matter. It's all just protein. But the cool thing about shrimp specifically is that shrimp has zero carbs and zero fat. The thing is pure protein. And so unless you add fat to it or you add carbs to it, there ain't going to be any. All right? And so the only thing in this meal that has anything besides protein is just the cocktail sauce. And this thing, like a little bit goes a long way. And I barely even count this stuff when I was eating it. So now that we finished our fancy, fancy shrimp shrimp dinner. Dinner. Now let's talk about beef and cauliflower. All right, so this one is one that is a classic. Also one that I eat a lot when I was dieting because I needed to really get my. My protein up and my. My calories down. But all I do is I have the leanest ground beef that I can find. So this is 93.7. Usually you can find 96.4. If you find a good place that does it, just get that. You can also do it with ground turkey. It doesn't matter if you were really poor. I used to just buy chicken breasts and then put them through a food processor, which I had for my dog at the time. And so I just feed them in and just grinds it up for you. And I would just have all this ground chicken breast. And that worked pretty good for me. So one is you've got your beef or your meat that's going to be lean. Two is you've got these microwavable packets of riced cauliflower. All right? Now, this stuff is heavy. Like, it's very filling. And the nice thing with this is that if you've ever had an Uncle Ben's or a quick or minute rice or whatever, it works the exact same way. All right? So you just crack the top, put it in the microwave, and heat it up. Now, one thing I will say is that the beef usually prep at one point during the week. So you're going to have a Few pounds of ground beef already, hopefully somewhere in your home. And then all you do is you just got to add something to it so that it makes it into a meal. And that's why this is a no prep deal. Now up to this point, you're like, okay, so you're just talking beef and cauliflower. Like, why is this a meal? Good point. Because that, on its own, would be disgusting. And so what I'm going to do is I'm going to show you how I make a sauce that is both delicious and not nutritious in terms of it's not chalk packed with macronutrients, but. But it's actually just chock full of deliciousness and not a lot of cows. All right, so let's put these puppies together, and I'll show you the secret sauce, and we'll enjoy it together. So first things first, we're gonna start with the meat. Look at that. Cooked it already. Man, we're speedy. Who said this was zero prep? Anyways, so next thing is, we gotta take our cauliflower, and we're gonna nuke this thing. Great. So now we've got these two puppies. So how are we gonna make this delicious? Because right now, this looks like dog food. And I agree with you. So we're going to enter secret ingredient number three, the sauce. So let's talk calories about mayonnaise. All right, so one first thing is that we actually accidentally bought the wrong one. This should be light mayo. Most light mayo is about 35 calories per tablespoon. This is this puppy. Now, if you want to not keep measuring shit spoon by spoon by spoon, which you can have lots of error. You just put the thing on a food scale and just see how many grams it is. It's much easier way to do that. But for the visual demonstration purpose of this video, let's rock with it. So If I've got 100 and call it 30 calories that I want to eat. All right, in terms of fat, I've got one of these guys. And the reason that the. The. The weighing it is kind of useful is because you always have some kind of, like, leftover on the spoon. And so you're kind of counting the same thing twice. And so I like just weighing it, but it is what it is. All right, here we go. Now, if you also want a little hack, use the spoon that you did the scooping with to do the mixing. Because that way you get to use some of the stuff that's on there that you had to get credit for in your calories. All right, so that's 130ish calories because each one was 35 times 4. Whatever. 140. There you go. 140 calories. All right, fantastic. Next one is Hormozi's secret special sauce, which is just Sriracha. All right, so then this guy. I've actually. I just don't count calories in hot sauce because there's not enough to really, really give a. And so I put a little bit in depending on your desired hotness levels. Now, I like a little spice to my. To my stuff, right? Then we go a little mixy mixy. Oh, you can even smell it. That smells like heartburn. Yes, it does. You're gonna feel that tomorrow. Yes, you will. Okay, fantastic. Now I take sweetness and add this in. So this is stevia, if you want to use. Splendid. That works too. All right, now again, this is, like, spicy and sweet are to flavor. All right? I like to add a couple in. You'll get a feel for it. Add one in, see if you like it, and add another if you're like, oh, I like this to be sweet. Because what ends up happening is when you put this whole thing together, this becomes this really nice, fatty, sweet, spicy mayo. All right. Look at that. It's kind of fancy, right? All right, so check this out. So we combine our forces together. Boom. We've got our rice and our beef, and then we go mixy, mixy again. Let me give you another hack. If you need to get sauce and you want to stretch it further, instead of just, like, taking this and just dumping it in what you do, take a little bit of this, dip your spoon, go on top, and then take a bite. That's it, actually is really good. So that being said, that's how it works, all right? And I do it that way because you can. You can. You'd be amazed at how many more calories you can get if you just dip your fork or dip your spoon before you do it. And if you're really clever about it, I try to put the sauce on the bottom side of the utensil so that it's, like, directly on my tongue. So it feels like there's way more sauce, but there really isn't. And so that's how you can stretch 140 calories for a pound of meat. So now that we just did a little spicy, spicy. Let's do something sweet. I'm going to show you the nastiest, ghetto fabulous way to get protein. You've possibly Ever seen. And it's so weird. You're probably going to try it. All right, this is 100 grams of protein in one serving with zero preparation of any kind. This is the only food on the market that I'm aware of that you can literally take off the shelf, get 100 grams of pure protein with no fat or carbs. And it is egg whites. Now you're like, well, how are you going to zero prep egg whites? Well, something you might not know is that egg whites are ultra pasteurized. They're not even pasteurized. They're ultra pasteurized. Which is why, if you look at expiration dates on eggs, they're like, super far in the future because there's almost no bacteria in it. All right, now you might be like, okay, what is he gonna do with the bowl? Great question. Actually only have this here so you can see it. All right, but this is how you do it. And you're like, wait, Hershey syrup, zero sugar. Yeah, now you're getting where I'm going with this. Now, if you grew up having chocolate milk as a kid, which I didn't. Cause my dad didn't want me to be fat. But if you did, good for you. I did get them at school, though. They had the little cartons of milk. You know, there's Crater. Yeah, I had some. And that was like, one of my big sources of protein growing up. Anyways, so what you do is step one, take ultra pasteurized egg whites. I call these tall boys. All right, there are 20 servings of 5 grams of protein in this puppy. That is 100 grams of protein. There are exactly 0 grams of fat and exactly 0 grams of carbs in this entire thing. It is pure protein. And then we take Pure Delicious, where there's exactly zero grams of protein and zero grams of fat in this and probably just gelatin and fucking who knows what Frankenstein's piss anyways. And so you take this, all right? And there's 32 servings in here. And so a tablespoon, if you remember what the mayo looked like. It doesn't matter because there's not that many calories in this anyways. It's 5 calories per tablespoon. All right? So we're gonna put some of this in here, all right? That's probably like three tablespoons, four tablespoons. All right? And so what we're gonna do is we're gonna go mixy, mixy either way. Keep your finger on the top. Hear that? Mixy, mixy. You can almost hear the gains loading and You. And that's. It looks like this. It's just like chocolate egg whites. That's all it is. And if you want to add more in, you can. But I will say, after having drank many, many, many of these, pro tip, drink 95%. The last five is, like, kind of gritty. So I would just, like, take 95 grams of protein, call it a W. And the thing is, is, like, if you had this entire thing for everyone at home who's like, wait, how much did he put in there? This whole thing is 150 calories. You're not going to use the whole thing. If you used a third of it, it'd be 50 calories, which I didn't even use a fucking 20th of this. All right? So, like, it's gonna be okay. But you can make this thing as chocolatey as you want. So that would be an extremely chocolatey mess of nonsense. Look at the texture here. Look how thick that is. Kind of delicious, right? Look at that. It's, like, real chocolatey. This is a great way to start the day. So you can knock out half of your protein in a single sitting doing this if you need it, 200 grams of protein. And if you just eat like a normal person the other three meals of your day, you'll probably get 200 grams. While we're on the chocolate train, let's keep it going. All right? So let's. Let's dive in. So one of the things I didn't know is that Premier Protein actually makes cereal. There's some other cereals that claim to be protein cereals, but let's be real. They're not really protein cereals. They're just like a bunch of soy crisp put together that still have shitloads of carbs and fat. But this one's actually pretty good. So this is one cup of. This guy is 180 calories and 20 grams of protein, which is basically the equivalent of of a good. It's like a little bit more than literally pure protein in the scoop and a little bit less than most protein bars. So, like, really pure version of protein. And so if we put a cup of this in. But let's be real, no one eats one cup of cereal. All right? So what we're going to do is actually have a protein breakfast of champions and have one cup. Wait for it, two cups, three cups. All right, so there we go. We got three cups of this puppy. This is 60 grams of protein. And then open up one of these guys, Make sure it's good. Oh, yeah. Well, this is from the. This is a. I think this is March of 23. Oh, it's a great vintage. Anyways, so we dump this puppy in there, which I'm really doing for visual effect because what I would actually do is actually pour this in the bowl first and then, and then put one scoop at a time in so I could keep the cereal crunchy. But it's a little bit more dramatic this way for the visual cams. All right. And so we're talking about zero PrEP protein, 90 grams of protein. Like almost the purest amount of calorie per calorie protein out there. This is all whey though. So to be fair, if you are somebody who doesn't do dairy well, this would not be for you. But if you do handle dairy well, which I do, this is just. This is a good time. So this is 700 calories, 90 grams of protein and probably cheap as shit. So if you're broke and you want some protein that takes zero time to cook and is delicious, I throw this puppy on the list. Especially if you like chocolate, you can handle milk. Enjoy. If you're riding this bro tastic voyage with me, then you will love this one too. So this is a lunch meal or a dinner meal. If you're kind of wild, you can even have a breakfast because you're just a fucking psychopath. That being said, all we do is we take this chicken of the sea, canned tuna, which I think is my favorite flavor of tuna. Just because I like saying chicken of the sea. Make sure that you have it in water rather than oil so that there's not extra cows in it. You can open this guy with one hand. Not really. Everyone uses two hands to do a can opener. Ask the disabled. Is that too soon? Anyways, that being said, this guy has 66 grams of protein and only 300 calories. Ice cold. All right, so this thing has zero carbs, basically zero fat and only protein. So one of the nice things with most seafoods, especially crustaceans. This is not crustaceans, but, but in general, tuna is a very, very lean protein. And so that's why it's lean. All right, so that's 66 grams of protein, 300 calories. That's step one in this puppy. Step two is we're gonna take this fi. Yay or phage depending on how you want to say it. Alright? Take a three quarter cup, get this guy in here. By the way, whoever invented these ones that have these little rims, well done, don't have affiliate links, don't know what brand it is, but if you find those, then awesome on you. All right, we're going to put this thing here. I actually already this, but this is the second take, so deal with it. Alright, that being said, this is now in total 300 calories of tuna and 90 calories of yogurt. So 390 calories. But here's a cool part. There's 86 grams, 84 grams of protein in this bowl and less than 400 calories. So let's fuck this up with even less calories. All right, next one is yellow mustard. Guess how many calories are in this? Zero. And this one, because it's zero calories you can add ad libitum, which is Latin for as much as you fucking want. All right, so now what we do is we go mixy mixy. You'll notice mixy mixy is a common step in our no prep or no prep fantasies. All right? Mixy mixy. Also, if you like pepper, peppered is kind of good in here. And some people like celery. But like again, I don't care about prepping that much. I want to do like as little as possible to make something good. But if you like some texture, celery and cucumbers, salt and pepper, that kind of stuff works. I usually just don't because I don't care enough. Pepper I do usually have at the table. I don't usually prep with the. I just kind of sprinkle it on top. All right, so now we've just got this delicious yellow looking mustard bowl. And remember, we only have 390 calories though. So like this is a meal. Like this is like this is 84 grams of protein, less than 400 calories. If you had three of these every day, you'd probably be pretty full. You'd also be lean as because it'd be less than 1200 calories a day. Right? So we take this said spoon, put it on said bread, make a bite, easy peasy. And if you have a beard yet again, check yourself before you leave the house. All right, you psychopaths, we're going from lunch to breakfast again because you can't go in order. Here we are. All right, so what we're gonna do is we're gonna take one of this egg whites that has all the Hershey milk stuff in it. Well, I forgot to buy two of these for this video, so. So there's only gonna be 1 milk. But we're gonna pretend like this is a cool. Even though this is going to look like Dark chocolate eggs. But you know what? It might be delicious. So we'll find out. All right, so we're going to take our egg whites, which are nice and chocolatey, all right? And remember, this whole puppy has 100 grams of protein in it. Here's why this is cool, is that if you don't drink the eggs, you can just nuke them because you don't need a pan to cook them. So a lot of people don't know this, but you can just microwave these guys, and they just fluff right up. So usually they actually have the directions on the thing, and. And if they don't, they have it on the Google. Cool. So let's go microwave these puppies over here. I just googled it, and it said 90 seconds. So we'll find out. By the way, look at this fancy cookbook that we made for you guys. Feel free. Thank the team. They put that together for you guys. So hopefully you guys can just get more jacked, because who doesn't want more Jack Mozynation? I mean, I do. All right, so 90 seconds. While the microwave is cooking, let me show you a little special edition Faye. I gave you guys the Fruity Pebbles and Crystal Light fruit version. There's also a cinnamon toast crunch version that I have, I think, done pretty good with. All right, so same original base of Faye, but here's the difference. Is that in the file, instead of squirting in Crystal Light, you're going to add in vanilla extract. Mixy. Mixy. Add in one or two packets of your fake sugar of choice or real sugar if you feel like adding calories. I don't care either way. All right, and then on top of that, instead of adding Fruity Pebbles, you go CTC like a king on top. Sprinkle it, and enjoy. And if you want to get fancy, fancy, and you're serving it for your lady, take some cinnamon, do a little dusting on top. Little Chef's kiss back in the microwave. All right, so look at this. Looks like a souffle. All right, so we got our eggs all souffle, which is French for blow, by the way, which is kind of funny. All right, so we got our egg whites here, and obviously, you know, chocolate egg. It's probably delicious in and of itself. Probably does take us, like, tastes like a souffle. But if you're less fancy than me, which maybe you are, or maybe you're more fancy than I am, I just use canned. Canned salsita. All right, and we're just going to pop this puppy. All Right. And what I do is I don't. Again, I don't count calories on hots because I just don't care. Like, this whole thing is 150 calories for this whole mamba jamba. And I'm not going to have anywhere close to, you know, anything reasonable in this. So I'm just going to put some sauce on here and like, that's it. Now imagine this is white instead of chocolate, but it's actually really good. It's really easy to do. Now, here's the thing is I made like a cup maybe of eggs. If this thing was this whole tall boy, I'd need a bowl like this. Like, egg whites blow up in terms of size. And so if you are somebody who's like, on an extreme diet or somebody has like a huge appetite and you need to be full, doing a tall boy of this and actually cooking the eggs is a mountain of food. And so that's why I drink them rather than eat them, because I don't even have the appetite to eat that much. Even. Even when I'm, like, dieting and starving, I don't have the appetite to eat that. But if you are somebody who has that salsa plus egg whites plus microwave, zero prep, zero skill, all protein, all delicious all the time. So now that we're done with the salsa and eggs, let me tell you what I actually eat for breakfast every day. The world's shortest and easiest, 84 grams of protein. That's 230 calories a pop, 460 in total. So 84 grams of protein, 460 calories, all delicious. Honestly, fair life. You guys did a gift to humanity by coming out with this. This is only recent, by the way. Until, like, not that long ago, we just had to eat chalk dust mixed with bullshit. And I was willing to do it. Hey, willing to do it for the gains. But these are actually really good. These just taste like chocolate milk. I prefer vanilla, obviously. Half chocolate. I mean, I'll drink them both. They're both very good. But vanilla tastes like melted ice cream. It's really good. And this is how easy it is to prepare and make this. I think this is a summer month. This is probably bottled in July. Just a hint, you can taste some of the floral undertones. All right, so last but not least, and the reason I'm doing this one is because I actually up one of the other 12 dishes, so I couldn't do it. But this is actually what I have for breakfast anyways. All right, so that being said, let's do La piece de resistance. The coup de grace. Right? Coup de grace if we want to get fancy on it. All right, Bro nachos. So there are three ingredients in bro nachos or Bro teen Bro tato chips. They are as follows. Number one, Quest Cool Ranch chips. Side note, this is in my opinion the best flavor they have by a long shot. I mean, the other ones are fine, but like these borderline taste like chips. The other ones are like protein chips. These are really, really good. So number one got Quest Ranch chips. Number two, Hormel chili. Delicious. Make sure that you get no beans because you want beef in there. What's cool about this is there's lots of protein. It lasts forever. You can buy them in bulk. I'll tell more about this stuff later. Number three is Le Fayer or phage, depending on how you feel like pronouncing it. Also, more protein. You've noticed it's a common theme. And number four, salsa. Alright, so let's rock and roll. Let's go over the macros real quick. So number one, this is 140 grams. Sorry, this is 140 calories. 19 grams of protein. I mean, this is leaner than most protein bars in terms of calorie content. And I think they're delicious. Like this is, this gets close to just what a chicken breast is. So like really, really pure source of protein and also delicious. This Hormel chili is, is, is 520 calories per can. 30. 30 grams of protein. So a little bit fattier. But again, we're making a meal here and I'm trying to make this protastic. All right, so there's that. So that's 520 calories. This guy we've already covered from earlier. And then salsa usually has no calories. And this is 5 calories per serving. 50 calories for the whole thing. So let's assume that I want to have a brotastic voyage and we're gonna go on it together. So number one is we're gonna try and eat a lot here. All right, so let's make 100 grams of protein per the USH. All right, so we're gonna go two, two bags of chips because why not? All right, so that gets us 40 right off the bat. Now obviously guys, you can cut it in half. And if you're a little itty bitty, little itty bitty girl, itty bitty guy, you can, you can just have half. All right, that's fine. All right, so we got 40 grams of protein so far. All Right now we're going to take our Hormel chili. So we're going to do here is we're going to this guy here. There we go. All right. And then we're going to put a little chili on there. A little spoony spoon. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. There we go. All right, so now we got 70 grams of protein and we need 30 more. And obviously, if you want to, like, have more protein, you could just have a leaner meat. This is just fun and easy because I said earlier I wanted to have no prep stuff. So that's no prep. All right. And so we need 30 grams more, which is going to be one and a half cups. This is two cups, this whole thing. So it's basically going to be most of this. All right, there's one. All right. Left about a quarter in there. All right. Now you could probably just do this and be pretty happy about it, but I like throw a little salsa on there. And just like that. Take your chips, you take your, take your sour cream. Take one of these guys go on top. Get it really good in there. There we go. There we go. Honestly, it fox is great. It's really delicious. It's actually good. And this is food. And so this is how we'll make it for camera real life. I would take a bowl, I'd start with the chili, I put the sour cream on top and have the salsa. I would take the chips and I would dip it in that way the chips stay crunchy. Doesn't look nearly as cool, but that's what I would actually do. All right, and so that is the rotastic voyage of nachos and protein. That is 12 ways that you can have zero PrEP, zero intelligence, 100% protein, as little as fat and little carbs as humanly possible while having maximum deliciousness in little time. And if you make a mosi meal, tag me on Instagram or Twitter. I'm going to be re sharing the best ones. And if you guys find something that's even more delicious than the 12 that I had, that is zero prep. That's 100 grams of protein. That takes almost no time. Tag me in that shit because I might try it myself, but I'll definitely be sharing it. So thank you guys. Keep being awesome. Hope you guys have an amazing 2024. Get as shredded as you want and one of these meals actually gets into your rotation and becomes a mainstay. And for X rated food content like this, check out my only fans.