Why being yourself is a myth in life and business

Hey, everyone, I'm Sam Ovens. And I'm Nick Fisher, and we're from consulting.com and we wanted to start a new YouTube channel called Consulting TV. And on this channel, we're going to talk about things to do with business and also things to do with mindset and philosophy. Because I've observed that people who just want business advice but aren't willing to improve themselves often end up stuck because they're not willing to improve themselves. And then people who want to improve themselves but don't think they need any business advice, they end up stuck as well. It's been my observation that over a period of time, the people who really break through and achieve business success, they work on both areas. They work on themselves and their philosophy and their habits and everything, and they also work on the business side. So on this YouTube channel, we're going to discuss both and we're really going to bring them together and mesh them together and show you how you can make massive improvements in your life and in your business. So that's what we really want to do on this channel. And in this first video is the very first one we're releasing. And the topic is being yourself a myth. And so that's what we're going to discuss in this. On this one episode. And we'll jump into it now, and I hope you enjoy it.

Sam, you said something to me that was really interesting a few days ago, that it kind of made me take a double take. And when you said it, I had never really heard anyone say it before, and you said, being yourself is a myth or something to that effect. It was probably the first time I've ever heard that in my life. And it really made me think, okay, I've never been told that my whole entire life, but on a surface level, now it makes sense. I realized that I've probably given that advice to other people and not knowing that it was to their detriment. So tell me a little bit about what got you to that place where you realize that for yourself.

Sure. Well, answer me this. Like, who are you really?

I'm Nick Fisher. That's the first thing that would come to mind.

But who's that?

It's a name that I was assigned to a person when I was born.

But, like, who are you now?

So if someone says, who, who am I?

See, this is the question which is very hard to answer. Right?

Very hard to answer. Most people would answer with, I do this, I like this, or a combination of the both.

So it's like, who are you like people. People have kind of. People have been asking the wrong question their whole life, really. It's like, especially in Western civilization, like, the whole world has. Has grown up trying to define the question or trying to find the answer to the question, like, who am I? So you spend your whole life growing up and you're thinking, like, who am I? You're walking around and you're like, are these people like me? Do I like these things? Do I not like these things? Do I agree with these people? Do I disagree with these people? And over time, like, you build up this sense of self and this sense of character, and you're like, okay, this is me. It's kind of like building an avatar in, like, a computer game or on a. You know, on, like a simulation game like Sims or something. You get the character, you change the hair and you change their clothes and whatever. And then they've got their friends that do this. They've got their hobbies, and they do that. And over time, this character gets defined. It's like, well, Nick Fisher likes doing these things. Nick Fisher doesn't like doing these things. These are his favorite restaurants. These are his favorite sports. He's not good at math, but he's very good at spelling. And he's. He does this. He makes this much money. He does this job and this whole. A self. Like, people have come to believe that a self is like this actual physical body. Like, it's you, like it's your flesh, and that your flesh is somehow assigned to these choices of all of these things which you like. But the flesh has nothing to do with these things that you like. Those are just things which you chose. And so, you know, it's not really you like. And people have really been. People have been growing up asking or trying to define the question, who am I? And they've built up this really strong sense of self. And there's nothing wrong with that at all, unless the sense of self is, like, limiting. And so what happens is when you start growing up and you define this really. This really crystal clear character of who you are, it's just natural for you to desire to be someone who you are not. Because, like, whatever you. Whatever side of yourself you like, bring out and show in the light, which is the one who you. Which is how you define Nick Fisher right now, the things you would say, well, that's the side in the light, and whatever is the polar opposite of that, that's the side in the dark. But what happens is that over time, the side in the dark starts to get itchy, and it starts to want to show itself. And so you naturally will start to desire to be someone who you are not. And this is what's happening throughout civilization. I mean, people who grow up poor, like me, like, I grew up poor, and I grew up, like, if I wanted a PlayStation or if I even wanted a Game Boy or something, you know, I had asked my parents, and they said, no, we don't have any money. And they were telling the truth. And so. And I was annoyed because my friends would always have them. And then if we had sleepovers, we'd always go to, like, their houses instead of mine. And they all had pools. I didn't. It was like that. And so. Because that's. Because I grew up like that. That was the side that was in the light, right? That was the Sam Ovens, like, growing up. It was poor. He didn't get what he wanted. So then come, like, you know, however many years of that. I don't know, 20 years or something of that. I am just, like, very hungry to make some money and to actually have options and to be able to have some sort of control because I'd been. Because my side in the dark, which was having things, was. It just couldn't take it anymore. And so that's just naturally what happens. Whatever self you define yourself as, then whatever self is the opposite of that, it's going to start to get itchy. And this is what's happening throughout Western civilization. And then the way people are responding to it is fascinating. People are saying when people get itchy and they're like, I don't want to be shy anymore. I don't want to be an introvert anymore, or, I don't want to be poor anymore, or, I don't want to be dumb anymore. I want to be smart. Or like, when really successful, wealthy people, like, I've just had enough of working. I just want to go to the beach. Well, it's like everyone in Western civilization just reacts. They're like, no, don't do that. Like, you be yourself. Like, you're trying to be someone who you're not. Like, stick. And we have all of these sayings, like, stick to your roots. Be yourself. And don't forget where you come from. Be authentic. Be yourself. And it's like if you do a post on Facebook or on Instagram or whatever, and it's you doing something which isn't in alignment with this self, which you've defined yourself as. It's like everyone gets all up in arms and they're like, what are you doing? You're an imposter. Like, you're a fraud. You're trying to. You're trying to be someone who you're not.

Where do you think that stems from? Where does that come from?

Well, it comes from people defining the question, who am I? So we've done it, and so is everyone else. So then when we try and be someone who we're not, in order for them to validate them as themselves, who they've defined, they have to attack when we try change. Because if we change, that means that they should change or there's a possibility they could change.

And.

And so their character attacks. Because the sense of self, it's like, it controls things. Once you build it strong enough, then it really. It has full control of you. Like, its thoughts, its feelings, its emotions. It has control. It runs you as, like, a system. And then when you try and do something which you're not, when the self observes someone do something which they're not, it wants to defend itself because it doesn't want to go away. It doesn't want to die, and it doesn't want to, like, disappear. And we're not talking about, like, a physical body dying here. We're talking about a character dying. Like this character, which you've defined yourself as. And it really operates the same way. Like, when you really push this thing, it starts screaming at you. It doesn't want you to do it because it's scared of it, like, getting wiped out. And so that's why everyone gets so up in arms.

And when was the first time you really realized that in yourself? And what was that character? What did that character look like that you wanted to kill? And how did you go about killing it?

Okay, it was a funny word. I didn't. I was nowhere near as. Well, I was nowhere near as, like, my. I didn't know this when I was experiencing it. Right. It's only in hindsight that I have this clarity about this thing. But when it first happened to me, I thought it was me. And so. And that's what everyone does. So I grew up being. I grew up extremely shy and extremely anxious and, like, reserved. So, like, since I was a little kid, I would always be, like, very quiet. And so, you know, I didn't say. I didn't say much at school. Like, if we went out, I didn't really say much. I always kept to myself, kept, you know, at home. And I was what people call an introvert. And so that was me. And I wasn't very outgoing. I wasn't very good at school. I wasn't very smart. I wasn't. I wasn't anything really. Like, I really. If you had asked anyone back then, like, who is Sam? They'd be like, well, he's just a quiet guy, does kind of average, below average, and probably won't amount to anything, probably won't do much. He's kind of a bit like lost and quiet. And so that's who I thought I was, because my teachers told me that other people told me that my parents and my siblings kind of knew me as that. And when other people know you as that, and when you've built up a track record of, like, failing math, failing different exams, and teachers saying things to you, you start to think that's you because you've got a track record of it and others are validating you as that. But then, you know, that was the side of me that was in the light growing up until I was about 21 years old. And at that age, I went out to an island, like this private island. My girlfriend at the time, her best friend's dad, invited us to this island. And I had. You know, when I was growing up, I was in a poor family, and I didn't even know anyone that worked in a corporate, like, building, let alone own their own business or let alone make. I thought if you made 100 grand a year, you. You had, like, super yachts and things like that. That's just how I. That's how I thought. I thought 100 grand a year was. You were as rich as you could possibly be. And so I went to this island, and this island was worth. It was worth a lot more than that. I don't actually know how much it was worth, but it would have been worth more than, like, definitely more than 30 million or more. And I was just walking around on this island looking at everything, and I was like, oh, my God. Like, how is this all possible? And what's funny is, like, I would always, when I was walking around the house, I'd turn the lights off, like, when I walked out of the room, because, you know, that's what I'd been told. That's how you save power. And then everyone was like, why you turn the lights off? Like, what's wrong with you? And I was like, no one's in here. And they're like, yeah, but the owner of this place likes it lit up like a Christmas tree. And I was like, what? But then, you know, I really thought about that, and I was like, well, that makes sense. I mean, if this Island's worth like 30 million, why would somebody be trying to save some electricity? And this was the first time ever that my character was kind of proven wrong. Like I went to like. Cause I lived and I was. Because I was brought up with a family that thought like me and because my friends thought like me too. And I surrounded myself with people who were like me and validated me as their character. As soon as I went to a different environment where people were so different, like all of a sudden I was just like, whoa, what else have I got wrong other than turning this lights off thing? And you know, they would buy like Pellegrino sparkling water and they wouldn't drink tap water. And I was like, what is, like what's wrong with these people? Why don't they just drink water out of the tap? It's free. And then, you know, they would drink like sparkling water which cost like $5 a bottle or something. Then I was. But then I was like, well, of course they do, because they can and it does taste better. So I was like all of these things which I'd been told like growing up and all of these things which I believed when I went to that environment, everything got like, I was just going into chaos really, because everything I did, it was like wrong. But in my previous environment, everything I did there was right. And so that was really the starting point where I just started to think, well, like, what else have I got wrong? And then I returned home from that island to my corporate job in New Zealand, which was at this company called Vodafone. And I was still finishing my degree and I was in my last year doing a business degree. And then I just started an internship and it was like an internshipfull time job. I was there full time and I got back to that cubicle and I was sitting in there and I'd loved it before. I was like, you know, I thought I'd made it, I got to wear it, I got to wear a suit. I was working in an air conditioned office. I was making like 45 or something. 40 or 45 grand a year. And I thought I'd made it. I thought I was like the man. But then I came back after that island experience and I was like, it wasn't the same. Was like I would, I'd just been on an island which had a helicopter and things. And now I was back at this cubicle and I also noticed that everyone who worked in there was also not the same as these, like other people there. They, they, they didn't think very big. They were more, like, pessimistic. There was. I'm not saying there's anything wrong with these people, but it was a different, like, energy to be around. Like, the other one made me feel like I could kind of do. Do big things in that. Like, I was. I was, like, amped up. And the other one kind of made me feel kind of brought back down. And I. It was really surprising. After about a week, I was like, what if I got this wrong? What if I. What if I shouldn't have a job? Because my whole life I thought what you did was you go to school, you go to college, and then you get a job. And that's what I did. And I listened to everyone. I listened to everyone my whole life, but it got me really nowhere. I mean, it didn't end me up in, like, a gutter or anything, but it ended me up in a mediocre situation. And so I started to think, like, well, what other options are there? And so I started looking. I'd never even looked, you know, because when everyone tells you a certain thing, especially people of authority, like teachers, career advisors, your parents, other people's parents, you tend to listen to figures of authority. And so I listened to them, and I was obedient. I took their advice. And then I was like, but this other guy doesn't have a job, and he seems to be living life quite a lot better than the people who have jobs. So I was like, maybe they're wrong, and maybe he got it right. And I just started doing my research. I, like, Googled what is an entrepreneur? I didn't even know. Like, I wanted to know the definition. I knew what an entrepreneur was, but I had never looked at the definition. And then I started thinking, well, what if I started my own company? And that was just the first question that struck everything. What if I did this? Not what if I could. What if. How would I do it? Or what would it be? Just, what if I did do that? And then I started thinking. I was like, what could I start? I thought of all these different things, and then I decided to start, like, a job board website. And the only reason why is because my dad at the time was unemployed. And I thought that's how I got the idea. I was like, he's unemployed. He can't get a job. So if I build a job board website, you know, I kind of knew that. I knew his pains and things. So I was like, you found some sort of pain? Yeah, yeah. And so I. And then I was Just like, all right, well, I'm gonna quit my job and start. And start this business. And I did. I quit my job and I dropped out of college, and I moved back home with my parents into their garage and decided, I'm gonna start my own business. I had no idea what I was doing. I had no money. I had no confidence, and I was completely just blind. But I was excited, and it was way better. Even though I was in a garage, it was way better than being in a cubicle. And that's where it all began. But then that's where the war between my selfs really began. And so the first thing I had to do was, like, talk to people. I had to. There's no way in business to achieve anything without talking to no one. Because it's like I always say in business, it's like, you've got to find out what Suzy wants for lunch. So you imagine if you're just sitting at a park, and there's a park bench here, a park bench here, and Suzy's sitting on this park bench or here, and your job is to figure out what Susie wants for lunch so that you can give it to her and charge her money for it, and you could sit there on that park bench looking at her, analyzing her. You could own Google, you could read every book there is on earth, and you could have $20 trillion, but you still don't really know what Susie wants for lunch. However, if you just got up, walked over, and just asked her, hey, Susie, what do you want for lunch? Should tell you. Then you could give it to her. But really, what a lot of entrepreneurs do is they sit in their rooms and they sit on the Internet looking around at blogs and things, trying to figure out what Suzy wants for lunch without talking to Susie. And it's pretty insane, really, when you really reduce it down to the first principles like that, and you talk about it like that, it's obvious. But people don't think like that when it's inside their situation, because they're in the first person then. And so the first thing I had to do was figure out, like, what people wanted so I could build it and then give it to them. But because I was too afraid to talk to anyone, all I could talk to was my dad because I was comfortable talking to my dad. Right? Yeah. Yeah. And so I talked to him, and I found out what he wanted, and then I assumed everyone else would want what he wanted. And then so I built up this job board website, and I sold my car to fund the site. It cost like six grand to build it all up. I spent one year, full 12 months working on this. And I put everything I had into it. I worked like 12, 13 hour days. And then I had this thing, like fully built everything. And I was so secretive about it that I'd like, close the windows in my house when I'd talk to people about it because I thought my neighbors might steal my idea. This is kind of how messed up entrepreneurs are when they start things. And then I finally had it. I had this website and then I launched it, and then nothing happened. And I was like, what then? So I thought, okay, well, maybe they just don't know about it yet. So then I called up the news channels, all of them. And in New Zealand there's only like three, so it's pretty easy to call all the news channels. And then they didn't do anything either. And then I was like, what is wrong with everyone? I've built this thing. Where is everyone? And I was like, why? I launched my site. Why isn't it blown up? I called the news. Why haven't they covered it? Then I called all these other bloggers or I emailed them, and no one covered anything that I was doing. And I was just like, what is going on? What's wrong with people? And that's when I really, I went along like that. I even went to university, where I used to go to university, and I would like, hand out like brochures and stuff to people. And I was like, here's this thing and here's what I've got and do you want to use it? And everyone just said the same thing to me. They were like, hey, this is really cool, but I don't need this. And that's when I realized that this thing I'd built, it wasn't what. It was what one person wanted, but not everyone else. And I really realized that I'd spent a year in every dollar I had building something no one wanted. And it was hard to come to grips with that. But when I did, things became a lot clearer to me. And then the obstacle was, okay, well, I've got to figure out what Suzy wants for lunch. Because what I had done is I'd sat on this park bench here. Suzy was over here, and I asked my dad, who was sitting next to me on the park bench, what do you think Suzy wants for lunch? And he told me, but we got it wrong. And so now I had to go and talk to Susie, which is the market. Suzy's the metaphor. I'm using for the market. But I couldn't because I was introverted. I was so shy. I was so anxious. I couldn't talk to strangers. So I was like, I couldn't do it. And this was the conflict. Inside myself, I had my character, who I had defined was some. Like, Sam Ovens is. He's shy. He doesn't talk to people. He's awkward when he talks to people. He puts his head down like this, and he doesn't look people in the eye. He, like, looks like this. And other people, like, probably, like, laugh at him and make fun of him behind his back and all of these things. And so I define this. And now whenever I tried to go out and talk to people, like, I woke up in the morning and I was like, okay, today's the day. I'm gonna call some people. Sounds funny, but it's hard to do if you're an introvert. And then I didn't do it. And it's because whatever happened, like, what happened is I'd get to the phone, I'd try to call someone, and then all of these feelings and thoughts inside my body were just, like, screaming at me, don't do it. And the conversation inside myself was, don't do that. That's not you. And it was just, like, digging its claws in, trying to pull me back to who I was because it didn't want me to become someone else, because then it no longer existed. And it sounds quite weird to talk about it like this, as if it's a different thing inside you, but this is really how humans are. Who they are isn't anything. It's just programming. And whatever way you've been programmed, you're an introvert, you're an extrovert, you're good at sports, you're not good at sports. I mean, everyone's born the same way. It's just whatever they've. Whatever they've taught themselves to be, that's who they are, but that doesn't mean that they can't be someone else. And truthfully, the big issue that I see in the world is that everyone's kind of defined their characters, and these things are quite set. And society has gotten people to really. To really define their characters. Everywhere you go, you've got to fill out these forms, you know, like, male, female, like, age, like weight, all of this eye color here. Like, you've got to get ID photos taken. Like, every website you go to, you got to sign up for it. You got to have a Facebook profile at LinkedIn. And so your Character gets really defined. I mean, it's defined down to the pixel, right? And then everyone else validates you as that. So then now it's gotten extremely hard for anyone to not be that. Because every time they try to, it's like that character is screaming at them. But not just the character, everyone else in society. Because in order for them to validate themselves as who they think they are, they have to attack people who try and be someone who they are not. And so that's how it works. But it's like, I've got no problem with people who want to be just who they are. There's nothing wrong with that. The only thing I have a problem with is people who don't think that they can change if they want to. Because some people like me, I defined myself as shy, anxious, introverted, like, didn't talk to people, was not outgoing. And I also thought I was dumb. And I failed, like, a lot of stuff. I was bad at math, I was bad at spelling, I was bad at lots of things, and that's who I was. And I was also broke, and I wasn't like, very happy. I wanted to do something bigger with my life and that's who I was. But, like, that's a pretty shitty situation. Like, why do I have to stay like that? Why can't I be someone else? And so I think a lot of people are in this situation, they might be poor, a lot of people might have said that they're stupid. And a lot of people might say that they would have never amounted to anything. And they might. They might actually feel like they themselves are this person. And it's not like that. You can completely change yourself. You can be whoever you want to be. And I mean, right now, at this point in time in society, it's extremely hard to change. And if you try and be someone who you're not, your character steps in and it starts to attack. But not only that, everyone else in the entire system starts jumping in and starts attacking because they want to validate themselves as well. And if they see someone change character, it's like, that's risk that they might change character. And so it was the biggest mission for me in business, wasn't learning all the skills. That's quite easy to do, especially as an introvert, because you don't talk to anyone. So you just stay inside. You just read a lot of books and read a lot of stuff. And I did a lot of that. And I knew a shitload. Like, I got really knowledgeable on a lot of things. But I wasn't making any money. And so the obstacle wasn't what to know, it was about how to apply it and how to actually take action. And that was more of, you know, people could say, why don't you just do it? It's like, sam, why don't you just do it? It's so easy. Why don't you just go and do it? But I was like, that wasn't as easy as everyone said because I had an internal conflict between my character, who I defined myself as, and the character who I wanted to be. There was like my current self and my desired future self. And these two things were at each other's throats with knives. The. They were like trying to fight each other. And the end result was me in a lot of pain and a lot of agony. And so that went on for years. Like, I would try to do things, I'd promise myself things, and then I'd just, I wouldn't do it. Or I'd get kind of halfway to doing it and then just break it down. Or I might get on a roll for one day and then I'd mess it up for five, the next five days. And it was tormenting to go through this roller coaster of like this. It's like you build it up, you smash it down. You build it up, you smash it down. And what I realized is the really, the sum average of those highs and lows was where my character was. So it's like you've got this regulator inside yourself and it's like if you climb up too far, it pulls you down and it pulls you down that same depth below as high as you went up, so that it creates you as this average right there. And I was like, what is going on with my life? How, how can I not beat this thing? And that's when I really started to dig into human psychology, consciousness and how your brain works and philosophy and paradigms and all of this stuff. And that took me on a six year journey of things. And that's when I realized that there is no such thing as who you think you are. Like, you are not anything really. I mean, you are just whatever you think you are. And if you are what you think you are, then you can think that you're something else. And then you could be that. But the only problem is that that character steps in and it starts fighting and society steps in and it starts fighting. And that's the big issue in civilization right now. And I figured out how to completely reprogram myself to become someone who I was not. And it was. It was difficult because I was trying to navigate uncharted waters doing this thing. And I made a lot of mistakes, but I figured out how to do it. And it really was just down to programming. Like, I had programmed myself that I was anxious, I was introverted, I was all of these things. So I decided to start programming myself. Well, what if I wasn't like, what if I was outgoing? What if I was. What if instead of behind my back, I used to think behind my back, people would say that I was shy and that I was stupid and stuff. I started to think, well, what if behind my back people are saying, like, have you heard of this guy? He's outrageously smart. He's the smartest guy I think I've ever met in my life. And I don't know if people were saying that or not, but I didn't either know if people were saying bad things behind my back or not. And I was like, if I'm going to choose to believe one thing, I'm going to choose to believe that one.

Right? Assume the best.

Yeah. And so I started to do that. I started to work on all of my thoughts and all of my beliefs and all of these things, and eventually it all just changed. And I went from being broke and everything to making quite a lot of money. And I went from being not very smart to being, you know, knowing some stuff, like knowing enough to be able to. To be able to make money in business and. And. And do a lot of things. And really that's like. That's why I think the whole term, like being yourself is a myth. Like people. People can be themselves if they want to. But don't go and start attacking people who want to be someone who they're not, because there's nothing wrong with that. If someone's poor, broke, depressed, down, and they feel like they're dumb, they don't have to be that. They can choose to be smart, successful, rich, and outgoing, and no one is to judge if they want to start doing that.

So let's say someone does want to be. Instead of dumb, poor, unsuccessful, they want to be rich, successful, have a great life where they do what they want. What's the first step for someone that does that?

The first step is to decide what you actually want. So this is really the first problem. It's like most people don't even know what they want. And when you don't know what you want, you're going to default to what you've got, and then you really need to know that. And so it takes time. It's actually quite hard if you sit down with a pen and paper and you try and write it all down, like, what do you want to do in one year and three years and five years? That's where it all starts. You have to know what you want first before you can make any change. And I'd never set a goal before in my life, but at this point, I started to write some goals down. Then I really like. That's the first step.

Got it. And let's say they have figured it out. Let's say you decide. I want to make $10,000 in the next month. But I have really poor habits. I sleep in too long. I eat junk food. I know I'm not going to get there. Doing what I'm doing is that the first step is realizing that there's.

Well, I don't think people are that sophisticated to know that they themselves is responsible for the $10,000 in the next month. Because what I observe most of the time is people think they can remain exactly who they are and start making more money, but who they are right now doesn't have any money. So if they remain that person in 30 days, that person doesn't have any money either. The person who has $10,000 in 30 days is a different person than who they are now. And so people don't understand this. They just think, all right, I can sleep in all day. I cannot do any. Any reading or any sort of learning. And I can just be lazy and just in, like, you know, hungover all the time and have like, $10,000 or a million dollars. That's never going to happen unless you win lottery. And the odds and that are like one in, I don't know, hundreds of millions, right? So, like, that's it. The only way you can make money is to become someone who makes money. And that means that you have to change yourself. And I always say people don't have, like, financial problems or people don't have business problems. They have personal problems which reflect in their finances or personal problems which reflect in their business. So if someone is broke, that doesn't mean that same someone can become a millionaire. It means they've got to become the person who is a millionaire. And so people think it all happens on the side of business and finance. And it is. You need to learn some things about business and finance, but it more happens on the character, on the sense of self that somebody has defined who they are. You have to change that, and you have to learn a bit about that. And then the two go whoop. And then it ends up making that.

So you said something a little earlier that I wanted to dig in on, because I think you said you were introverted, but you wanted to become extroverted because you knew that if you were sitting there and trying to make sales for your business, you couldn't do it by not talking to people, Right? But for some people, they might be thinking, I'm extroverted and I'm still not doing good at business. I don't have any problems talking to people. What do I need to do in order to be successful in business if I'm an extrovert and not.

Yeah, well, this is the funny thing, right, because introverts often are quite. They have. Introverts have. They're very quiet, but they have the loudest minds. They often are very good analysts, they're often very good at solving problems and they're often very sophisticated and quite intelligent, but they just can't get it out. And then extroverts, on the other hand, are extremely outgoing and everything, but they have quite quiet minds. And so they often are talking without even thinking and they are uncomfortable in silence and alone. And introverts are uncomfortable in crowds and they're comfortable alone. So if you're an extrovert and you're broke, it probably means you need to become a little bit more of an introvert and actually have some alone time and some silence and think, like, what do people want? Or like, you need to do some analysis and you need to become a bit more introverted. And for introverts, they need to become a bit more extroverted. There isn't a wrong and a right. It's not like no one can say extrovert is the way to be and no one can say introvert is the way to be. If you're just one on its binary pole, you get it wrong. And so I had to learn how to be both. And so I had to learn how to be an introvert and like, analyze things and, you know, observe things and be very quiet and do very thorough analysis. But then when the analysis was over and I knew what to do, I had to change into a character who could get it out there and actually put it into action. And it's like you, the best people in life at everything. They're like Carmelians, kind of. They can change and they're not hard jammed on these binary poles of introvert, extrovert or any of these things. They can flick between the two characters.

Got it? Now, if you were to. Is that something you're still working on? Do you feel like you can switch between the two? Or do you think that if you were not to work on it, you would revert back to your. Your tendency that you had when you were a kid and that people said you were too shy and all of that sort of thing?

Well, I've taken it to both extremes. Like, once I figured out that I didn't have to be introverted, I went quite extroverted. And then I was always talking to people. I was always. This evolution happened over the course of two, three years. And then I went. Started partying a lot, started being quite outgoing, and then my business kind of suffered again. And I was like, oh, what, I need to take more time to be introverted? And then recently I became really introverted again. And I didn't really talk to anyone. I barely left the house and I started making a lot more money. But then it hit its limit again. And then I needed a team and I needed to hire a company, but I didn't like speaking to people, so I had to change again. And I like to think that I conflict between the characters. And lots of times I can, but I still make mistakes. And if I'm not careful, I'll jam myself on a side. It takes a lot of practice.

Yeah, yeah. No. And what kind of first step. Right. Is self awareness that you even have to change. Right. And most people don't even have that because they don't have.

Yeah. I mean, the first thing to do is understand that you are not who you think you are. It's. You can be whoever you want to be. The big thing that I've always said is it's the, you know, people have got it wrong. You shouldn't be asked answering the question, who am I? You should be answering the question, who am I becoming? Because life isn't static. Like, you're not someone. And that's it. Like, that's. That's you frozen in a snapshot in time, but time is moving and that's already gone. Right? So now it's like if you freeze yourself as someone, then you're just going to remain as that person throughout the evolution of time. But you want to kind of forecast ahead and be like, who do I want to become? Think out five, ten years, choose something. And then when you're living through life each day, like you want to align more with the person you're becoming rather than the person who you are. Because that was really the breakthrough moment for me. I Was like, hey, wait a minute. What if I'm not who I think I am? What if I can become someone? And so I created a character of who I wanted to be. Like, I designed it. I wrote it all down. It felt really awkward at the time. I was like, I wrote the Sam Ovens identity, and I designed this thing like a movie character. And I started to try and become that, and, man, did I have people on my back. Like, I had my whole family being like, this is weird. This isn't you. No, I didn't tell them that, but they noticed me. I was like. Started dressing differently. I started talking differently. I started thinking that I was smart. And then all my smart friends were like, you're not smart because, you know, because you're not supposed to. A lot of people think you're not supposed to change, but I was changing in front of everyone, and a lot of people didn't like that. And a lot of people called me, like, a fake and a fraud and a imposter. And a lot of people called me that. And I called myself that, too, because I was having an internal war while society was trying to battle me, too, because if I did it, that kind of threatened them, and they could possibly do it too. And it was hard, but it. It happened. And I've done it many times. Probably five, six times. I've evolved my character, and each time I do it, I get better at doing it.

Got it. Yeah. I mean, I've heard people, too, because I think you're always growing throughout life, right? Like you said, there's never a point where you're done. It's a snapshot. But some people do think they're done. You ask them and they go, no, this is who I want to be. This is who I want to be, and I love who I am.

There's nothing wrong with that, provided they're actually telling they're giving you an accurate picture. Because a lot of the time people say that, but what they're thinking in their mind is like, who am I kidding? I hate my life.

But provide, they could get to a point where they're completely satisfied.

Dude, if someone likes surfing and they're broke and they just want to surf all day and they truly love it, there's nothing wrong with that. Like, no one can say, oh, you should do this or you should do that. Like, they should do whatever they want to do. And if someone likes being broke and like. Like, let's say someone likes living on the streets, like, genuinely, then no one should say that they Shouldn't.

Yeah, I would. But I would venture to guess that at some point, it may be right at that moment in time that is exactly what they want to be, and they're very satisfied. But can that continue forever? Can someone feasibly go through their whole entire course of life and still be satisfied at the person they've. The person that they've chosen and not.

Grow only in one circumstance? And that's if they somehow deal with their dark side somehow. So if someone chooses to put this character in the light and say, I am this. Like, I am a surfer, and I love just surfing, and I love just being broke and doing this thing, and I'm gonna do it for my whole life. Well, the side they're putting in the dark is the opposite of that. The someone who wants to do something else. And that is gonna bubble up, like, that's gonna try and, like, come through in the consciousness. It's gonna try and come out of the subconscious and get into the conscious. And you'll find that most people have a way of unleashing that. So they'll often do themselves, like, for a while. And then they'll need to go out and do this thing, which is kind of like where they go a bit crazy. It gets out of their system, and then they kind of come back. They need a way to regulate it. And so, you know, you often find people who are very sophisticated, very, very, like, sensible people, but then they'll go out every now and then and just get, like, blind drunk and just go crazy. Like, oh, my God, where did this person come from? It's because that's the character that's been in the dark, just bottled up for so long that every now and then it has to just come out. And then it's kind of good. They can put it back. If you keep doing that, you can kind of remain as the same person for a very long time. But there's no way to bottle that thing up and just leave it there and never show it. It'll find ways. And if it doesn't find a way to come through, it'll terrorize you internally. Like, that's. That's. I think, like, how people become depressed, anxious and everything. Because they've got these voices in their head that are like, do I want to do this? But the other ones, no, you shouldn't. And they're not. They're not acting on any of them. And they end up just in pain and in agony and depressed or anxious or, like, you have to. You. It has to. It has to come out some way. And if you don't, then you get into a lot of pain.

And then you kind of have to reset at a certain point, because then they're going to hit rock bottom. And there's only two ways you can go is you keep going down that path, or you have to realize. I've heard something you've talked about is pain threshold. Right. It's like some people will get. They'll have that dark side, but at some point, they reach a point where they snap out of it. Right. It's just a point that they're the most. The pain threshold that they can handle in their life before they want to make a change. Yeah. So talk to me a little bit about, like, what. What was that for you? Like, what was that pain threshold that you remember the most that really changed everything?

Well, really, for me, it's just like noticing patterns repeat certain time. Like, if I notice that, I start saving up to, say, like, $1,000. And then when I get to 1,000, I do something stupid and I break it back down to, like, 100. Then I get depressed at myself again. So I kick into gear, I start working in. I save it up to 1000, I do it again. Like, after I do that, like, 10 times, I'm getting pretty furious because I can see the pattern. And I'm just like, I've had enough. You know, I want to. I'm angry at myself. And so for me, it's like, if it. Once it's repeated so many times, I can't handle it anymore, and I have to do something about it. Got it.

No, that makes sense. Yeah. I remember you telling me that story about how I forget where you were working, but you saved up enough money, but you can never get over 5,000.

I've had many numbers, but you could.

Never get under a thousand.

Yeah, that was the bottom of my thermostat. If I went down below a grand, I kicked into gear. If I got up above five grand, I became lazy and started spending money on stupid things. There was a regulator in there to hold me at this point, and that was where my character was. That's why Shakespeare said, like, the world is a stage. You know, all the world's a stage, and we are merely actors. And he said, to be or not to be. That is the question. And what he really meant. We've kind of mixed it all up with our crazy society and everything. But what he was really trying to do back then is teach people that you aren't who you think you Are you can be someone else. And it's just, it's a question really. It's like you can be whoever you want to be and you're not stuck as who you are. And the world is really a stage for you to show off this character and create whatever you want. It's really just like a play. It's like designing a, it's like a play. You like, get to write out the play, you design your character, then you grow into it and then you live life as that. And that's what he was getting at. But we kind of messed it all up.

What do you think people take it as?

I think people think it's like some question which has no answer. Like the school and everything has gone and made it. Yeah. Like they don't even understand the language. They're like, what was he trying to think? What was he trying to say to us? And everything. The academic community go and complicate a lot of stuff. But also Western civilization doesn't know that we can be someone else. We think someone is something. And that's it. And that's why I said the real question isn't who am I? The real question is who am I becoming? And so for everyone listening right now, the first thing I would encourage people to do is just stop for a moment and think, like, what do you want? Like what do you really want? Take a day, like plan if the next weekend, the next day have off. Just be like, I'm not going to go out, I'm not going to talk to anyone. I'm just going to sit like on the couch or I'm going to go up a mountain or sit on the beach and take a pad and I'm just going to be like what I want and start writing it down and design it. Be like, okay then to achieve that, who would, what sort of person would I have to be? And write it down, like design it, like design it like it's your dream character. And then throughout your day to day actions start trying to become that. And at the point where you become that person, you will achieve the goals which are associated to that person. So I always say, like, you're not the highest version of yourself which you can imagine or dream about. You're the lowest person which you can possibly accept and tolerate. So you're not your highest standard, you're not your highest dreams, you're your lowest standards. And so right now your character, whatever its standards are, you're probably hovering on those. And so you can dream as high as you want. But you're not going to achieve it with your character. And so how you achieve your dreams is to transcend yourself and turn into a character who has your dreams as its standards. And that's the hack. Design a character who has your dreams as its standards, become that character, you achieve those dreams, and how do you.

Go about forming that character? I know there's a few different ways. Some people look at certain people they aspire to be, Some people look at certain lifestyles. Some people look at a combination of both. When people sit down and think about what they want, is the next step finding someone that they can model?

Yeah, absolutely. You have to take inspiration from other people, because that's all humans are, just lots of different people mimicking little pieces from each other over a very long amount of time. We've all evolved from Greek mythology, and Shakespeare's had a massive influence on civilization. And so we've all evolved from past thoughts and theories and all of this. So there's no way to design a character without looking at other characters. The thing is, you don't have to just pick one and become that, because that's not a good idea, because you want to design a hybrid. So you want to look at this character, and it's like, well, if you want to be outgoing, well, you might have this trait. I had a low pain threshold. I was weak and soft. When I was anxious back then, I was extremely soft. I couldn't take anything. If it was just hot outside, I was like, oh, it's hot outside. Like, I was that weak. And if I woke up and I felt a little bit tired, I was like, oh, I need to go back to sleep. Right? I was soft. And as that person, I would have never achieved anything because I couldn't take any blows. And so I would. I chose, like, Muhammad Ali as, like, because he had a pain threshold. That guy. You know, that guy would get smacked in the face in the boxing ring, and he'd whisper in people's ears. He was like, is that all you've got? That's what he'd say to them. And they were just giving him all he had. And then when they were done, he'd just punch them in the face and they'd just knocked out. And so I was like, whoa, this guy's got a pain threshold like no one else. So I decided to take that characteristic from him. I was like, I want to have a pain threshold like Muhammad Ali. I was really bad with finances, so I looked at Warren Buffet, who was very good at finances, and I Was like, when it comes to financial knowledge and information, I'm going to be like Buffett. When it comes to pain threshold, I'm going to be like Muhammad Ali. And then when it comes to, like, philosophy, I want to be, like, this person. When it comes to how I dress, I want to be like this person. When it comes to, like, the lifestyle I want to lead, I want to take this from this person. And I chose a few different people, and I borrowed characteristics from them, and I designed a character who was a hybrid of all of these things together, and then I grew into that and became it.

And when you reach that next iteration, or maybe you felt like, maybe you feel like you have right now, then.

I've never arrived at anything, because by the time you arrive at something, that's just your standards, so now you've got desires again, so you've never arrived. So each time I've evolved probably, like, six, seven times, and each time I grow into the character I want to become, I want something else, and I have to evolve it again. And it's never ending. And you've got to be okay with that. Otherwise you'll forever be. You won't understand life. Like, things change, the world changes, situations change. And you've got to learn to evolve and move with the times.

So do you think that the characters that you've chosen, do you think in a year you're gonna have the same characters? Do you think you. Every year that you'll revisit the people that every year?

Yeah, and I. Some of them I keep for. Some of them I've kept for three years at the moment because they're very big characters, and whatever skill they've got, they're, like, the best in the world at it.

So I could see, like, Muhammad Ali. It's, like, who you're gonna find that's better?

Pain tolerance. I haven't found someone better.

Right. So that makes sense. So it's just revisited, but every year it becomes slightly. A little bit different.

Yeah. If I become weak in an area, I choose a character who's strong in that area, and I might build it in. If I've gotten really strong in one area, I might remove that character. So I kind of evolve it based on what I need on an ongoing basis.

Got it. Is this something you do that's, like, formal, or you just decide one day. You know what? I think it's about time that I kind of revisit this. Is it a formal process?

I re. Look at my character, which I've designed every Single day, first thing in the morning and before I go to bed at night. Because it's kind of like, you know, human beings are like that movie 50 First Dates with Drew Barrymore. How she. Every morning she wakes up, she forgets who she is. And in the end, the way they solve it is her husband gets a TV and plays a little videotape. And it's like, this is who you are. These are your children. This is your life. And she watches it, and she smiles and she remembers, and then she knows how to go about her day. Well, that's what we're like. Not that extreme, but very similar. And I think that was the hidden meaning in that movie. We just thought it was kind of funny and silly, but we like that. And so what I do is, instead of this movie, I design this book, which is all about me and my journey, what I'm trying to achieve and everything, and who I'm becoming. And I remind myself every morning, and I'm like, oh, that's right. Why am I sad again? I'm doing. I'm, like, doing what I want to do. Okay, now I'm happy again. It sounds comical, but it really is like this.

Yeah, no, it does, but I totally see the benefit of doing that, because you do. You lose grip of where you're going, you lose grip of who you are. And I think the biggest thing is the perspective you get between those two things. And I know you do this as well, right? If you're constantly reminding yourself of where you're going, it's easy to get caught up in the journey of getting there as opposed to remembering where you're going. But what is. It has to be a balance. Right? You can't focus too much on the past, too much on the future, and then not enough in the present. How do you deal with.

You should pretty much let go of the past completely. I don't think there's really any way in which the past serves you. I mean, I would think the balance would be like 5% past, and then probably only, like. Probably only like 10% future. And then the rest is right now executing on whatever needs to be done to achieve this vision in the future. You have to. You have to kind of cascade between, like, past, future, present in your mind. But you have to live most of life right now, because if you live in the future, you won't ever get there because you'll do nothing now. And if you live in the past, you'll only recreate that. That what you had there now and in the Future. So it's like that quote in 1984. It's like, he who controls the present controls the past. He who controls the past controls the future. And all of civilization right now thinks that that is the government. Everyone's like, oh, it's the government. And they're doing it. They're like, it's 1984, it's happening. And I'm like, man, what's wrong with everyone? That's you. You control the present. Then that means that you control the past and that means that you control the future. It's just wherever you choose to live and how you forecast yourself into the future and into the past. So you have to really just let go of the past. It doesn't mean anything. And you have to think into the future. What do I want? And then you have to think, okay, in order to achieve that in the future, what do I need to do now? And then do it. And then constantly revisit these areas. Time. And you will evolve into this person, this character who you want to be.

How do you feel about nostalgia in general?

I think it has a time and a place. Like, I like old cars. Like, I think some old cars are cool. I think some old movies are cool. But I don't live in my past at all. Like, I got zero time for it because what's the point? But I think some classic things are cool. I like Led Zeppelin, I like Rolling Stones, I like Pink Floyd. I like Testarossa Ferraris and the old air cooled 911 Porsches. I love a lot of old classic stuff. I like mid century furniture. My whole house is mid century. But me, I don't give a shit about who I was in the past.

But you did say 5% of the past, right? So is that the perspective? So that you can.

It's just catching mistakes. Because if you did something in the past and you've made a mistake now, you've got to look back and be like, is this something which I keep repeating.

Got it. That makes sense. So it's not so much about celebrating your wins and seeing like how far you've come.

It's more, you shouldn't celebrate the past even if you won in the past. I don't like I call it, you've got to clear out trophies of your past. Because if you keep celebrating your trophies of the past, you think you're good and you don't need anything more. And so you might, you might make a million dollars. And you're like, I made a million dollars. I'm awesome. But then all of it, like, now you're stuck, and so you've got to clear it out. You've got to be like, all right, back to zero again. You've still got a million, but you've got to act like you've got to believe like you've got nothing again.

That reminds me of the story. The NFL football team, the Miami Dolphins, they were like, the last undefeated team for a while. And every year that the current NFL team who was undefeated, the last undefeated team who lost, they all got together and so celebrate, because they were the last ones and they're clinging onto the past, right? And you always hear people say, well, back in my day, you know, this happened, this happened, this happened. And that's kind of their only source of.

It's the danger of winning. That's the really. The biggest danger of winning is that you think that you've won forever, but tomorrow is another day, and you. It's a battle again, you know? And so you want to be positive, but you don't want to be stupid to the. The point where you think you're invincible. Because people who believe they're invincible because they've won in the past often get their ass kicked by someone who's lost in the past. And it's because the person who's lost in the past is hungry to win. The person who won in the past thinks that they don't need to train as hard. And this is what, like, Mike Tyson said, like the time where he got knocked out, he was like. He was watching the guy of, like, a couple months before on the tv, and he was like, I don't even need to train for this guy, but I am the best. I don't even need to train. This guy will just walk in, knock him out with one punch, and I'm out. He walked into that ring with no training. That guy knocked him out. And that's when he learned. He was like, it doesn't matter how awesome you are, you can't think you're invincible. And so it's quite a balance. You want to think that you're good, and you want to think you're awesome, but you don't want to trick yourself that you don't need to do any practice or any training. You want to think you're awesome, but at the same time know that you. You can lose that.

Yeah.

Yeah, that's tough.

Some people would say that's a contradiction.

It is a contradiction, but that's what life is.

Sure. So how. I guess what. What is the balance then in that where. Because one side is like arrogance. Right. You're venturing into some sort of arrogance and then the other side.

But who's to say that, like, arrogance is besides perceived as negative? But who's to say that being selfless isn't the wrong way?

Not me.

Well, we don't know. Like, we, like, who's to say being an introverts wrong and being an extrovert's right? Who's to like, you know, we've got all of these divided poles, like darkness, light, hot, cold, beauty, ugly. But like, how do we know that? And we've got sane and insane. If someone goes insane, we all, like, look at them and we're like, that person's insane. Well, how do we know they're not sane and we're insane?

Because everyone judges from the majority.

Yeah. And that's what life is. It's an extremely popular delusion. We're all probably delusional, but there's just a lot of us. So we believe that that's right. But in my understanding of it, like, the more people that are doing something, the more likely they are to be wrong. So I think we're living in a massive delusion right now. The way that we think that we should be who we are and be authentic and attack other people when they want to be someone who they're not. I think we're delusional. I think the people who want to be someone else, they're more sane than us.

Is there issues, though, that you feel like you would attack? That would be in the minority. Say, let's take like flat Earth, for instance, because that's been the rage in the last few years. People think the earth's flat again.

I think people can believe whatever they want to believe. The only thing that's wrong is when you think the other person is wrong. So I could believe the earth's flat and there's no one to say I'm not allowed to believe that. Maybe, like, we don't really know if it is or isn't because I mean that, like, whatever we believe it is, we make it like that because that's how you know the. Your hypothesis affects your outcome and. And whatever you have as a belief becomes your reality. So if everyone in the world thinks it's round, then we're all probably going to create a lot of evidence that it's round. However, in past, they've thought it was flat and they had a lot of evidence to prove it was flat. I mean, the pendulum will keep swinging between these two things. But I don't think we really know what it is really. And I think the only wrong answer is to think that it's one thing and then think everyone else is wrong. Because that's where society gets it wrong. They think that guy is just lying on the beach and he isn't making any money and he isn't working. He doesn't understand. I'm going to go over there and teach him. I'm going to teach him how to make money. What if he doesn't want to make money? And what if someone who's lying on the beach is like, this person's making money and they're locked up in this office all day. I'm going to teach them how to come and live at the beach. What if he doesn't want to live at the beach? The only wrong thing is when you think that your way is the only way and when you attack other people for being in another belief which opposes yours. I think you can believe whatever you want to believe so long as you just leave the other people alone.

Right? I would say so too. Although certain people have always, just from the beginning of time, got offended at beliefs that don't affect them in the slightest in the quality of their own life.

That's because it still starts attacking their character.

Yeah, because they see it. Yeah. No, that makes sense.

It all stems from like Western civilization. Think, like defining the question, who am I? You're like, I am. I'm introverted, I am shy, I'm bad at math. I'm not. I'm, you know, I am, I am like all of these things. And so then every day they wake up, they're like, oh, okay, well, I'm going to just stick inside my circle of confidence and my circle of who I am. And they live out every day of their life like that.

Right. So for people who come to you and ask and they have those, they lead with who they are, what does that tell you?

Typically it doesn't tell me anything unless they think that the other person is wrong or that they think they're better than the other person. Like, if someone can be really confident and arrogant and everything, that's totally fine, provided they don't feel like they're better than someone who isn't. Yeah.

I guess what I was getting at more so is if someone comes to you and Sundays, as a 50 year.

Old, so that's a very strong defined self. If someone introduces themself with their story, then that's a strong character, but they.

Think it AIDS their argument. Right? Because you get people who, even on the other side who, let's say we're debating whether or not we should go to war with another country and someone says, like as a 50 year old war veteran, I think this.

So then in my experience, anyone who brings a story to a conversation should pretty much not be allowed to speak. Because anyone who brings a story to a conversation brings a bias. And it doesn't matter about the past and it doesn't matter about what happened to one individual person. You have to analyze the situation as it exists now without any biases. And stories bring biases, self images bring biases. And if I brung the like I arrived at a point in time in my life where I was like, I want to be, I want to do something with my life, I want to do something important, I want to make some money. But as a 20 year old, like shy, anxious, like person who never has achieved anything in his whole life, I know that that's not going to happen, you see? So that's a bias and it was not true. And so you've got to remove the bias, you've got to cut the story out and you've just got to analyze it. And I analyzed it, I got rid of the story and I was like, well, who's to say I can't? No one could bring a good argument to that. So I thought, well, I'm going to try it. And then I became, became it. And I've became who I've wanted to be eight times over. And any story I've tried to bring to those arguments has been invalid. So that's my answer to that question. I think no one should be allowed to arrive at any sort of analysis with as a. And I'm just like, I've had enough. I'm angry at myself. And so for me it's like once it's repeated so many times, I can't handle it anymore and I have to do something about it.

Got it. No, that makes sense. Yeah. I remember you telling me that story about how I forget where you were working but you saved up enough money but you can never get over 5,000.

I've had many numbers.

You could never get under 1,000.

Yeah, that was the bottom of my thermostat. If I went down below a grand, I kicked into gear. If I got up above five grand, I became lazy and started spending money on stupid things. There was a regulator in there to hold me at this point. And that was where my character was. And that's why Shakespeare Said, like, the world is a stage, all the world's a stage, and we are merely actors. And he said, to be or not to be. That is the question. And what he really meant. We've kind of mixed it all up with our crazy society and everything. But what he was really trying to do back then is teach people that you aren't who you think you are. You can be someone else. And it's just. It's a question, really. It's like, you can be whoever you want to be, and you're not stuck as who you are. And the world is really a stage for you to show off this character and create whatever you want. It's really just like a play. It's like designing a. It's like a play. You get to write out the play, you design your character, then you grow into it, and then you live life as that. And that's what he was getting at. But we kind of messed it all up.

What do you think people take it as?

I think people think it's like some question which has no answer. Like, the school and everything is gone and made it. Yeah, like, they don't even understand that. And that's what he was getting at, but we kind of messed it all up.

What do you think people take it as?

I think people think it's like some question which has no answer. Like the school and everything has gone and made it. Yeah. Like, they don't even understand the language. They're like, what was he trying to think? What was he trying to say to us and everything? Like, you know, the academic community go and complicate a lot of stuff, but also Westerner language. They're like, what was he trying to think? What was he trying to say to us and everything? Like, you know, the academic community go and complicate a lot of stuff, but also Western civilization doesn't know that we can be someone else. We think someone is something, and that's it. And that's why I said, the real question isn't who am I? The real question is, who am I becoming? And so forth. Like, everyone listening, right? Civilization doesn't know that we can be someone else. We think someone is something, and that's it. And that's why I said the real question isn't who am I? The real question is, who am I becoming? And so for, like, everyone listening right now, like, the. The first thing I would encourage people to do is just stop for a moment and think, like, what do you want? Like, what do you really want? Take now, like, the. The first thing I would encourage people to do is just stock a day. Like plan. If the next weekend, the next day you have off, just be like, I'm not gonna go out, I'm not gonna talk to anyone. I'm just going to sit like on the couch or I'm going to go up and hop for a moment and think like, what do you want? Like what do you really want? Take mountain or sit on the beach and take a pad. And I'm just going to be like what I want and start writing it down and design it. Be like, okay then to achieve that, what sort of person would I have to be? And write it down, like design it, like design it like it's your dream character. And then throughout your day to day actions start trying to become that. And at the point where you become that person, you will achieve the goals which are associated to that person. So I always say, like, you're not the highest version of yourself which you can imagine or dream about. You're the lowest person which you can possibly accept and tolerate. So you're not your highest standard, you're not your highest dreams, you're your lowest standards. And so right now, your character, whatever its standards are, you're probably hovering on those. And so you can dream as high as you want, but you're not going to achieve it with your character. And so how you achieve your dreams is to transcend yourself and turn into a character who has your dreams as its standards. And that's the hack. Design a character who has your dreams as its standards, become that character, you achieve those dreams.

And how do you go about forming that character? I know there's a few different ways. Some people look at certain people they aspire to be, some people look at certain lifestyles, some people look at a combination of both. When people sit down and think about what they want, is the next step finding someone that they can model?

Yeah, absolutely. You have to take inspiration from other people because that's all humans are, is just lots of different people, like mimicking little pieces from each other over a very long amount of time. We've all evolved from Greek mythology and Shakespeare's had a massive influence on civilization. And so we've all evolved from past thoughts and theories and all of this. So there's no way to design a character without looking at other characters. The thing is, you don't have to just pick one and become that, because that's not a good idea, because you want to design a hybrid. So you want to look at this character and it's like, well, if you want to be outgoing, well, you might have this trait. I had a low pain threshold. I was weak and soft. When I was anxious back then, I was extremely soft. I couldn't take anything if it was just hot outside. I was like, oh, it's hot outside. I was that weak. And if I woke up and I felt a little bit tired, I was like, oh, I need to go back to sleep. I was soft. And as that person, I would have never achieved anything because I couldn't take any blows. And so I would. I chose, like, Muhammad Ali as, like, because he had a pain threshold. That guy, you know, that guy would get smacked in the face on in the boxing ring, and he'd whisper in people's ears. He was like, is that all you've got? Like, that's what he'd say to them. And they were just giving him all he had. And then when they were done, he'd just punch them in the face and they're just knocked out. And so I was like, whoa, this guy's got a pain threshold like no one else. So I decided to take that characteristic from him. I was like, I want to have a pain threshold. Like Muhammad Ali. I was really bad with finances. So I looked at Warren Buffett, who was very good at finances, and I was like, when it comes to financial knowledge and information, I'm going to be like Buffett. When it comes to pain threshold, I'm going to be like Muhammad Ali. And then when it comes to, like, philosophy, I want to be like this person. When it comes to how I dress, I want to be like this person. When it comes to, like, the lifestyle I want to lead, I want to take this from this person. And I chose a few different people, and I borrowed characteristics from them, and I designed a character who was a hybrid of all of these things together. And then I grew into that and became it.

And when you reach that next iteration, or maybe you felt like, maybe you feel like you have right now, then.

I've never arrived at anything, because by the time you arrive at something, that's just your standards. So now you've got desires again, so you've never arrived. So each time I've evolved probably, like, six, seven times, and each time I grow into the character I want to become, I want something else, and I have to evolve it again. And it's never ending. And you've got to be okay with that. Otherwise you'll forever be. You won't understand life. Like, things change, the world changes, situations change, and you've got to learn to evolve and move with the times.

So do you think that the characters that you've chosen, do you think in a year you're gonna have the same characters? Do you think every year that you'll revisit the people that you choose to?

Every year? Yeah. And some of them I keep for. Some of them I've kept for three years at the moment because they're very big characters, and whatever skill they've got, they're, like, the best in the world at it.

So I could see, like, Muhammad Ali. It's like, who you're going to find that's better.

Pain tolerance. I haven't found someone better.

So that makes sense. So it's just revisited, but every year it becomes slightly. A little bit different.

Yeah. If I become weak in an area, I choose a character who's strong in that area, and I might build it in. If I've gotten really strong in one area, I might remove that character. So I kind of evolve it based on what I need on an ongoing basis.

Got it. Is this something you do that's, like, formal, or you just decide one day. You know what? I think it's about time that I kind of revisit this. Is it a formal process?

I re look at my character, which I've designed every single day. First thing in the morning and before I go to bed at night. Because it's kind of like, you know, human beings are like that movie 50 First Dates with Drew Barrymore. How she. Every morning she wakes up, she forgets who she is. And in the end, the way they solve it is her husband gets a TV and plays a little videotape. And it's like, this is who you are. These are your children. This is your life. And she watches it, and she smiles and she remembers. And then she knows how to go about her day. Well, that's what we're like. Not that extreme, but very similar. And I think that was the hidden meaning in that movie. We just thought it was kind of funny and silly, but we like that. And so what I do is, instead of this movie, I design this book, which is all about me and my journey, what I'm trying to achieve and everything, and who I'm becoming. And I remind myself every morning, and I'm like, oh, that's right. Why am I sad again? I'm doing what I want to do. Okay, now I'm happy again. It sounds comical, but it really is like this.

Yeah, no, it does, but I totally, totally see the benefit of doing that. Because you do. You lose grip of where you're going. You lose grip of who you are. And I think the biggest thing is the perspective you get between those two things. And I know you do this as well, right? If you're constantly reminding yourself of where you're going, it's easy to get caught up in the journey of getting there as opposed to remembering where you're going. But what is. It has to be a balance, right? You can. You can't focus too much on the past, too much on the future, and then not enough in the present. How do you deal with.

You should pretty much let go of the past completely. I don't think there's really any way in which the past serves you. I mean, I would think the balance would be like 5% past and then probably only like 10% future. And then the rest is right now executing on whatever needs to be done to achieve this vision in the future. You have to kind of cascade between, like, past, future, present in your mind. But you have to live most of life right now because if you live in the future, you won't ever get there because you'll do nothing now. And if you live in the past, you'll only recreate that, what you had there now and in the future. So it's like that quote in 1984. It's like, he who controls the present controls the past. He who controls the past controls the future, future. And all of civilization right now thinks that that is the government. Everyone's like, oh, it's the government. And they're doing it. They're like, It's 1984. It's happening. And I'm like, man, what's wrong with everyone? That's you. You control the present. Then that means that you control the past, and that means that you control the future. It's just wherever you choose to live and how you forecast yourself into the future and into the past. So you have to really just let go of the past. It doesn't mean anything. And you have to think into the future. What do I want? And then you have to think, okay, in order to achieve that in the future, what do I need to do now? And then do it? And then constantly revisit these areas of time, and you will evolve into this person, this character, who you want to be.

How do you feel about nostalgia in general?

I think it has a time and a place. Like, I like old cars. Like, I think some old cars are cool. I think some old movies are cool. But I don't live in my past at all. Like I got zero time for it because what's the point? But I think some classic things are cool. I like Led Zeppelin, I like Rolling Stones, I like Pink Floyd, I like Testarossa Ferraris and the old air cooled 911 Porsches. I love a lot of old classic stuff. I like mid century furniture. My whole house is mid century. But me, I don't give a shit about who I was in the past.

But you did say 5% of the past, right? So is that the perspective? So that you can.

It's just catching mistakes. Because if you did something in the past and you've made a mistake now, you've got to look back and be like, is this something which I keep repeating.

Got it. That makes sense. So it's not so much about self celebrating your wins and seeing like how far you've come.

It's more you shouldn't celebrate the past even if you won in the past. I don't like I call it, you've got to clear out trophies of your past. Because if you keep celebrating your trophies of the past, you think you're good and you don't need anything more. And so you might, you might make a million dollars and you're like, I made a million dollars, I'm awesome. But then all of it, like now you're stuck.

Yeah.

And so you've got to clear it out. You've got to be like, alright, back to zero again. You've still got a million, but you've got to act like you've got to believe like you've got nothing again.

That reminds me of the story. The NFL football team, the Miami Dolphins, they were like the last undefeated team for a while. And every year, the current NFL team who was undefeated, the last undefeated team who lost, they all got together and celebrate because they were the last ones and they're clinging onto the past. Right. And you always hear people say, well back in my day, this happened, this happened, this happened. And that's kind of their only source of habit.

There's the danger of winning. That's really the biggest danger of winning is that you think that you've won forever. But tomorrow is another day and it's a battle again. And so you want to be positive, but you don't want to be stupid to the point where you think you're invincible. Because people who believe they're invincible because they've won in the past often get their ass kicked by someone who's lost in the past. And it's because the person who's lost in the past is hungry to win. The person who won in the past thinks that they don't need to train as hard. And this is what, like, Mike Tyson said, like, the time where he got knocked out. He was like. He was watching the guy of, like, a couple months before on the tv, and he was like, I don't even need to train for this guy, but I'm the best. I don't even need to train. This guy will just walk in, knock him out with one punch, and I'm out. He walked into that ring with no training. That guy knocked him out. And that's when he learned. He was like, it doesn't matter how awesome you are. You can't think you're invincible. And so it's quite a balance. You want to think that you're good and you want to think you're awesome, but you don't want to trick yourself that you don't need to do any practice or any training. You want to think you're awesome, but at the same time know that you. You can lose that. Yeah, that's tough.

Some people would say that's a contradiction.

It is a contradiction, but that's what life is.

Sure. So how. I guess what. What is the balance then, in that where. Because one side is like arrogance, right. You're venturing into some sort of arrogance, and then the other side.

But who's to say that, like, arrogance is perceived as negative. But who's to say that being selfless isn't the wrong way?

Not me.

Well, we don't know. Like, we, like, who's to say being an introverts wrong and being an extrovert's right. Who's to, like, you know, we've got all of these divided poles, like darkness, light, hot, cold, beauty, ugly. But, like, how do we know that? And we've got sane and insane. If someone goes insane, we all, like, look at them and we're like, that person's insane. Well, how do we know they're not sane and we're insane?

Because everyone judges from the majority.

Yeah. And that's what life is. It's an extremely popular delusion. We're all probably delusional, but there's just a lot of us. So we believe that that's right. But in my understanding of it, like, the more people that are doing something, the more likely they are to be wrong. So I think we're living in a massive delusion right now. The way that we think that we should be who we are and be authentic and attack other People, when they want to be someone who they're not, I think we're delusional. I think the people who want to be someone else, they're more sane than us.

Is there issues, though, that you feel like you would attack, that would be in the minority. Say, let's take like flat earth, for instance, because that's been the rage in the last few years. People think the earth's flat again, I.

Think people can believe whatever they want to believe. The only thing that's wrong is when you think the other person is wrong. So I could believe the earth's flat and there's no one to say I'm not allowed to believe that maybe, like, we don't really know if it is or isn't because, I mean, whatever we believe it is, we make it like that because that's how your hypothesis affects your outcome. And whatever you have as a belief becomes your reality. So if everyone in the world thinks it's real round, then we're all. And there's no one to say, I'm not allowed to believe that maybe, like, we don't really know if it is or isn't. Because I mean that, like, whatever we believe it is, we make it like that because that's how you know your hypothesis affects your outcome. And whatever you have as a belief becomes your reality. So if everyone in the world thinks it's round, then we're all probably going to create a lot of evidence that it's round. However, in past, they've thought it was flat and they had a lot of evidence to prove it was flat. Probably going to create a lot of evidence that it's round. However, in past, they've thought it was flat and they had a lot of evidence to prove it was flat. I mean, the pendulum will keep swinging between these two things, but I don't think, I mean, the pendulum will keep swinging between these two things, but I don't think we really know what it is really. And I think the only wrong answer is to think that it's one thing and then think everyone else is wrong. Because that's where society gets. We really know what it is really. And I think the only wrong answer is to think wrong. They think that guy is just lying on the beach and he isn't making any money and he isn't working. He doesn't understand. I'm gonna go over there and teach him. I'm gonna teach him how to make money. What if he doesn't want to make money? And like, what if someone who's Lying on the beach is like, this person's making money and they're locked up in this office all day. I'm gonna teach them how to come and live at the beach. What if he doesn't want to live at the beach? The only wrong thing is when you think that your way is the only way. And when you attack other people for being in another. In another belief which opposes yours. I think you can believe whatever you want to believe, so long as you just leave the other people alone.

Right. I would say so too. Although certain people have always, just from the beginning of time, got offended it. Beliefs that don't affect them in the slightest in the quality of their own.

Life just because it starts attacking their character.

Yeah, because they see it. Yeah. No, that makes sense.

It all stems from like Western civilization, like defining the question, who am I? You're like, I am. I'm introverted, I am shy, I'm bad at math. I'm not. I'm, you know, I am, I am like all of these things. And so then every day they wake up, they're like, okay, well, I'm gonna just stick inside my, you know, my, my circle of confidence and my circle of who I am, and that's there. They live out every day of their life like that.

Right. So for people who come, who come to you and ask, and they have those, they lead with who they are, what does that tell you?

Typically it doesn't tell me anything unless they think that the other person is wrong or that they think they're better than the other person. Like, if someone can be really confident and arrogant and everything, that's totally fine, provided they don't feel like they're better than someone who isn't. Yeah.

I guess what I was getting at more so is if someone comes to you and Sundays, as a 50 year.

Old, so that's a very strong defined self. If someone introduces themselves with their story, then that's a strong character, but they.

Think it aids their argument. Right. Because you get people who, who even on the other side, who, let's say we're debating whether or not we should go to war with another country. And someone says, like, as a 50 year old war veteran, I think this.

So then in my experience, anyone who brings a story to a conversation should pretty much not be allowed to speak. Because anyone who brings a story to a conversation brings a bias. And it doesn't matter about the past and doesn't matter about what happened to one individual person. You have to analyze the situation as it exists now without Any biases. And stories bring biases, self images bring biases. And if I brung the like, I arrived at a point in time in my life where I was like, I want to be, I want to do something with my life, I want to do something important, I want to make some money. But as a 20 year old, shy, anxious person who never has achieved anything in his whole life, I know that that's not going to happen, you see, so that's a bias and it was not true. And so you've got to remove the bias, you've got to cut the story out and you've just got to analyze it. And I analyzed it, I got rid of the story and I was like, well, who's to say I can't? No one could bring a good argument to that. So I thought, well, I'm gonna try it. And then I became it. And I've became who I've wanted to be eight times over. And any story I've tried to bring to those arguments has been invalid. So it's, that's my answer to that question. I think no one should be allowed to arrive at any sort of analysis with, as a, or like with a long story or convictions about past, because that's who I am, not who am I becoming. And society has a who are we? So if an individual has built their self image on who am I? Society builds its self image on who are we as a collective of the eyes. And so who they are not is their enemy, right? Like he who is not me is against me and he is, he who is not like me is my enemy. And so it's just, it's like it's a lot of selfs with a lot of other selves who aren't like them. And so it's just, we can't say this person's right, that person's wrong. The only thing we can say is someone's wrong when they try and say that someone else is wrong. And you've just like, people have just got to let it be and just leave each other alone. And like, if people, if these people want to become like this people, these people, fine, let it happen. If these people want to become like these people, fine, let it happen. But if they just want to be who they are, leave it now.

Do you think for people to accelerate that faster that a change in their environment is needed? Or can they do it simply by changing their habits, their routines in the environment they're in?

Environment helps if you move countries or you move house or you move apartment or you get into a different circle of friends. It helps. It probably is 10 times more likely to happen if you change the environment.

So what would you say to someone? They're like, well, that's easy for you to say, Sam. Even though you were in a place where you didn't want to be, at least you had the money to get up and move and change your environment.

I didn't. I moved from an apartment back into a garage with my parents. I downgraded the apartment and I downgraded my environment and made it worse.

So do you believe then that anyone who is in an environment can change and get out of.

Absolutely. You don't need to change your environment to change yourself. It helps. You don't need it.

Yeah, I would agree with that.

You've just got to break your character. You've got to define who your character is. You've got to define the character who you want to become. And then you've got to catch yourself playing out the traits and characteristics of this one and replace them with the traits and characteristics of this one. It's like Shakespeare said, all the world's a stage, and we are merely actors. To be or not to be, that is the question. And you've just got to think, not who am I? But who am I becoming? Take a day out of your life to just sit down with a pad and define it. Be like, who do I want to become? What are my dreams? Who do I want to be? Write it down, define it. Draw a picture of this person, design the life, and then grow into that character. And it's the most fun in the world being whoever you want to be, living your life as if it's a play. That's the most fun I can think. It's like everyone these days sits and watches pro athletes on the tv, and they're like, yeah, they're cheering on other people. Then they're watching movies of someone who makes a lot of money, and they're like, yeah, that guy's the man. Like, is everyone mad? Why don't you? Like, if I'm watching a movie and someone's killing it in life, I'm like, screw that guy. I want to be him. And not in a movie in real life. And so everyone else celebrates everyone else. I'm like, people need to start celebrating themselves and making themselves winners instead of celebrating other people as winners now.

Do you think there is a physical limit to what someone can become? If I said. If I said I wanted to, you know, be a professional boxer, for instance.

There'S there's no physical limits. Your cells in your body completely regenerate. There'll be no cells in your body the same today as they are in seven years.

So with enough time, with enough time.

And enough effort, you can change anything about yourself.

It's crazy. Most people would say that's. They would. They would be very hard to believe something like that.

But like I said, most people are often wrong.

Most people are often wrong. It's true. When on the side of the majority, it's time to pause and reflect. I think Mark Twain said something like that.

Yeah, Well, I always say it's like an extraordinary popular delusion in the madness of crowds. Like, if we've got a crowd of people and they're just running down the street, like in Manhattan, like on Fifth Ave. Or something, there's just like 100 people running down the street. If you see 100 people running down Manhattan in Fifth Ave, you're going to start running down.

I'm definitely running.

You're never going to ask why. And so this is what happens with crowds. We see a whole bunch of people doing something. We start doing it because we're like, they can't be wrong, but they might have just started running for no reason. And so that's quite often what happens. Individuals are quite often more likely to make a thorough analysis than a crowd because no one questions what started the crowd. They just assume it's right because it's moving that way. And so, like, you know, madness is more common in crowds.

Because people are easily swayed to whatever the.

Because people think if everyone's doing it, it can't be wrong. Just like if everyone's buying houses and if the market's going up and everyone thinks it's going up, it must be going up. That's how a bubble bursts. Yeah, you want to be you. It's like Buffett says, you want to zig when people zag. And like, when people are greedy, be fearful. When people are fearful, be greedy. Like, if everyone's buying houses, you want to be selling houses. If everyone's selling houses, you want to be buying houses. Like, quite often when you go against the crowd, you. You're not always likely to. You can. You can be wrong, not say, this isn't a hard rule, but a lot of the time the crowd is wrong. And so, really, to bring this whole conversation to a conclusion, so we had the question, is being yourself a myth? And I think it absolutely is. Because who is a self? If someone can produce me a self, I will. I will take My argument, which I've said in this video, and I'll re evaluate it, but no one can produce me a self. So in my understanding of it, a self is nothing. It's just a collection of characteristics and beliefs and all of these things which you think you are and you can change it. And I've done it myself. I've taught a lot of other people how to do it. And I believe that's really the main quest of all humans in civilization for all time is to learn how to transcend themselves, to learn how to become whoever they want to be. And transcending yourself, I believe, is the biggest quest of man on earth. And I've been able to do it. It's been the most fun I've ever had in my life. And I have taught a lot of other people how to do it, and it's been the most fun they've ever had. And I encourage anyone watching this, take some time to just stop doing what you're doing. Go to a beach or just go outside, grab a pad and just design. Ask the question, what do I want? Who do I want to become? What do I want? What sort of life do I want to live? Write it down, define it, make it clear, make it colorful, add some detail to it, and then grow into that character. And. And don't ask the question, who am I? Just cut that out and just ask the question, who am I becoming? And then write it down. And every morning when you wake up, read this thing. Every night before you go to bed, read this thing. And every day, live it to the fullest trying to become this person. And don't listen to anyone who says that you can't do it because they're wrong. And we know why they're attacking us, because we're threatening these, their character. And when we try and be someone who we're not, it threatens everyone who wants to be who they are. And so, you know, you've just got to drown out all that noise and just go for it. And it's the most fun in the world. And I think that's the greatest search and the greatest like, mission of man on earth is to transcend himself and to become whoever he wants to be in life. And if you do that, you'll have the most fun in the world ever.