Ray DeckAcclaimed advisor to hundreds of founders and builders. Investor, teacher, founder, advisor

Be curious, not judgemental

Name: Be curious, not judgemental
Uploaded: 2025-07-14T18:02:59+00:00
Duration: 58 s
Channel: Ray Deck
Description: In this short instructional segment, the speaker emphasizes the importance of approaching interviews—whether sales, market research, or casual…

14 Jul 2025 · 1 min

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In this short instructional segment, the speaker emphasizes the importance of approaching interviews—whether sales, market research, or casual conversations—with genuine curiosity and a caring attitude, while avoiding judgmental or point‑making questioning. He explains that many people use questions to subtly push their own agenda or to judge the interviewee, which undermines trust. The core advice is to be both caring and visibly caring, positioning curiosity at the intersection of interest in the other person and non‑judgment. During the interview, the speaker recommends staying focused on learning, postponing any internal evaluation until after the conversation, and maintaining an open, non‑critical demeanor.

Chapters

Be curious, not judgmental, in interviews. I find it's really important when I am talking with someone to, you know, whether it be a sales situation or just sort of gathering the feeling of the market or what have you, to ask good questions that care about what the other person has to say. But what I don't want to do is use questions to kind of subtly make a point, or— and this happens too— you know, give them the impression that I'm trying to make a point. Because so often people are trying to make points with questions. They're trying to figure out what my angle happens to to be. The thing is, I'm really curious. I really want to know what's going on, but what I've learned is that you have to both be caring, right, and you need to be seen to be caring. And you need to be in that— that caring is at the intersection of being curious, you're interested in what they're about, and you're not judgmental. You're not trying to communicate your own message or going tsk tsk or leaning back going, "Oh no, that's not so good." I mean, you can feel how you feel after the interview, but during it, I want you to be curious and not judgmental.