Does Connection Count? How Do Leaders Connect And Create Amazing Teams?

I'm so glad that you're all here. We're absolutely buzzing about the numbers. We just put this out, you know, a week and a bit ago. We've got lots of people here, people, lots of people that I know, some people that I don't know. You're all around the country, you're all doing different things, and it's great that you're here. Body language is relevant to, you know, to everybody, so this is going to be really beneficial, helpful. I met Rene Deceuninck just around maybe October, November time on LinkedIn. The second we started speaking, we clicked. We just got that connection. We loved what each other do, and I said, why don't we do something online? So this is what it is. Um, we both are passionate about people. We're passionate about bringing the best out in people. Body language now Some of you in here, this will be relevant for your world of work. Some of you won't be at work and you're staying at home, maybe with the children or whatever you do. Doesn't matter, this transcends everything. It's relevant for everything that we're doing. Just a few little housekeeping, um, things that might be helpful. If everybody could just stay on mute so we don't hear any background noise. If you have to go off at any point off Ama, you're on mute.

You're on mute.

Can you hear me? I can now, but you keep disappearing. One minute. Right, you got me now? Yeah. Have you not heard me the whole time? We just lost you for a couple of moments then. Okay, I said if you've got a cat or a dog or a child, don't worry, we're all winging it, and just stay on mute and it's fine. What I'm also going to say is throughout this, as Renee's speaking, if you've got any questions, just put them in the chat bar and we'll have a space to look at those and reflect upon those. Is that okay? Give me the thumbs up if you're excited about this webinar. Come on, I know it's hard when we're not in person, but I've got to get the energy up. Right, so Rene, welcome, hi.

Hi, how you doing?

Tell me a little bit about you, introduce yourself to our fabulous people here so they get to know you a little bit.

All right, should I do it with the slides, with the presentation, or just like this, or?

Do it however you like.

I'll start immediately, I'm going to jump into it, so there might be, I might be clicking, if you see me click on things it's because people coming in still, We're at 45 and we're at 75, so there's still 30 people somewhere trying to get in, I guess. Anyway, right, let's share the screen. Can I ask people to mute? Could you mute yourself, please? That would be amazing. I would be very grateful for that. And let's get started. Can you all see this? Can you see this, Hannah?

Yeah. Yeah.

All right, awesome. So welcome to a body language presentation, body language related to connection counts. Connection counts— what I mean about that is that we are all connected whether you like it or not, even on it. And I'm not, not talking about Facebook, LinkedIn, Twitter, whatever, but we're all connected, right? So welcome to body language. I'm admitting people to come in. That's amazing if it works, that is. Oh my goodness, it doesn't work now. How can I— okay, so body language. How many of you know about body language? Maybe say something in the chat. I know body language. I don't know about the language. Please let me know. Now the first thing I would like to share with— how do I change this? All right, it's a kind of magic, that's for sure. Now the first thing, I'm born in 1965. So I'm 27.5 in each leg. That was the house of my parents, and I like to joke a bit, so don't worry about it. And that was the house of my parents when I was born in Knokke in Belgium at the Belgian coast near the Hollandisch Hoorder, a border. This was the car of my dad, an old Renault Dauphine. And yeah, that was like in those days the main thing to have. However, today when you look at it, it's like, huh? So in 1991, that same city, I came back from Germany. I've been in the armed forces, and that city completely changed into a very posh city where name it, they probably have it. Lamborghinis and Ferraris, a very posh city. It's like the Monaco from the north, as they call it. In 2004, I took a decision to move to the countryside, and I lived in a city, or in a village I'd rather say, with 235 people. And most of you will say, hey, that's a party, that's not a village. But we had our own pub, believe it or not. And our own church with 335 people. It was an amazing period. And the type of cars they're driving over there is slightly different. It's on the countryside, right? Now in 2018, I take a major decision in my life and move to Hitchin, north from London in the UK. And the type of car we drive over there is slightly different as well, as you can see. Now in 2019, only a year later, I got approached by somebody and they said, hey, we would like to have you teaching at Oxford Business College, Oxford University, and Brookes University. And I said, you know what, let's have a look at it. And that actually happened. So in '19, I moved to Oxford. And yeah, cars, you don't need a car over there. It's all public transport, right? So that's a bit the story of where I'm born, where I was born and where I am today. Now, this is me, 18 years old in the Navy. And everybody said, you won't make it. And this is not about me, it's just to give you a metaphor. So if you are where you are today and you say, oh, I'm not going to make it, you know, everybody says it's not for me, I don't have the right education, listen to what I have to say. They said to me, Rene Deceuninck, this is not for you, you're not going to make it. And believe it or not, you, you're not educated enough and you're smart and not smart enough. And say, you know what, watch me, I'll show you. And I got in anyway. That was me at 18 in the Navy. Now I was in the Navy watching around me, there was people with stars and stripes, and I said, wow, that— wouldn't that be amazing to become a sergeant or a lieutenant or whatever? You know, boys and their toys. There's not really a toy, but hey, their ideas. And that actually happened. I applied and people said in the family and the friends, hey, this is not for you, you're not going to make it, you don't have the right education, and the whole inshallah that comes afterwards. And you know, we all have people like that. That pulls us down. How many of you have that? Please say something in the chat. We all have these people that pulls us down instead of pushing us up, right? And I say, you know what, watch me and I'll show you. And I applied and got in anyway. Now this is me here in Germany behind my own platoon in the back, as you can see here. One year later, I was marching behind my own platoon, and people say, wow, you got lucky. I say, yeah, kind of. After a while, you don't answer these questions or statements anymore. He said, yeah, sure. Now I was watching people around me, you know, these guys with six-packs, right? They said, wow, and they were jumping out of airplanes. I said, wouldn't that be great to do that, become a Special Forces, Navy SEAL, whatever you want to call it? And people in my family don't do that. They're going to drop you in war zone, you're going to get killed, and this is going to happen, that's going to happen. Besides that, this is not for you. 'And you just have to say something like that to me. This is not for you.' You know, it's like that trout going against the stream, right? I do that every day still today. And I said, 'You know what? Watch me. I'll show you.' And I'm here, right, before my first jump. Now, when you jump out of airplanes, you sit on your heiny in an airplane. And in that airplane, there's no doors, so you can see the pilot, you can see the co-pilot, you can see the navigator, you can see all of these people, uh, flying that plane. And I was like, hey, wouldn't that be great? Guess what? To become a pilot. And in the family, they say, oh my God, don't do that, you're not smart enough, you're not gonna make it, you're gonna get depressed because you're not gonna make it. And I said, you know what? Shut up, watch me and I'll show you. And 18 months later, I flew my own aircraft here as a student pilot. And a bit later, I flew my own helicopter. The thing is not about me, it's about you. Where are you today? Where do you want to go? That's the only thing it is. And when people pull you down, you know what, the only thing you have to say is Watch me and I'll show you. And I was very polite in my story here. Normally I add F you, right? But I want to stay polite here, right? So anyway, there's people in the waiting room. Two people enter the waiting room. Admit, admit. All right, let's continue. Now, my very first book I bought was a book from Anthony Robbins.. And Anthony Robbins has been there my whole life. Now the first book, this is a Dutch version, and the English version, the UK version or English written version is Notes from a Friend. It's a very tiny book. It's like you can read it in 2 hours and a half, 3 hours. And I said, wow, I want to meet the guy. I want to meet that guy, right? And everybody says it's not for you, you're not going to make it. And I remembered myself of something. I said, yeah, heard that before. And I did it anyway. And years later, I ended up with Tony. Today I'm collaborating with him all over the planet. So this is a few of my pictures that I would like to show you, um, joining all kinds of organizations with, uh, Jerry Roberts. We've got Jerry McKinney. We got Joseph McClendon that works with Tony, uh, Andy Harrington, Jack Canfield. This is with my journey with Tony. This is in Italy. Also here in England doing previews for Tony here in Nottingham. Here, that was Manchester— no, that was in London. You have all kinds of people, and then you start flying a little bit differently. That's funny too. That's here, got Brian Tracy. For those who know Brian Tracy, we got Tony Buzan, the mind mapper, and then we got Veronica Chu from Success Resources who runs the business, and all kinds of— here, that's the accountant of Tony Robbins, Keith Cunningham. This was in Bangkok, National Achievers Congress. Had an amazing time out there. And this is in Iran, in Tehran. And this is also in Tehran. So, admit, a lot of people, some people are coming, joining us. So Now, the latest thing I did, I flew from London to Victoria in Australia because I was asked to do some previews for Tony Robbins and went there— Brisbane, Melbourne, and Sydney. And before I knew it, there were no more airplanes and I got stuck due to our very dear friend Corona. I got stuck in Australia for 5 months and then came back. This is headquarters Sydney. This is Michael Lane, Michael Burnett, who are very close with Tony as well. So yeah, this is the website. Um, you'll find my information on Facebook, everywhere. I mean, uh, I'm on 24 different platforms, so if you don't find me, it's because you have an issue with your Wi-Fi. I always say to people. So I'm just going to connect my battery here, if that's okay. It's charging. Yep. So let's get started. Now you know who I am, I'm going to show you some stuff in terms of body language that you might say, hey, is this really true? Is, is this really true? I always apply the Law of Pareto, which is the 80/20 rule. The 80/20 rule is that 80% of what I say is completely right, 20% you have to see from a different perspective. Now we're gonna play a little bit like that one goldfish that goes from the normal— and then define normal— that comes from the normal to the next level. The next level is you're going to have some tools that you can apply in your daily life, in your business, in your relationships. And wouldn't that be great to see what's never being said with your partner? So ladies, when your husband comes in, or men, when your wife comes in, and you can read their body language and know what they're thinking, wouldn't that be great to have that tool? I mean, who wouldn't like to have that, right? So, and we're gonna have some fun too, that's for sure, like the cow and the dolphin having some fun in the ocean. So become a mindful body reader. When you think about that statement, it's You can actually read the mind by reading the body signs, and that will enhance your whole life in business and relationships and with the people you're communicating with. And you will see what's never being said. So the first thing to learn, and this is the first nugget I'm going to give you away, is that when people ask you, how are you doing, answer with unbelievable. So how are you all doing? Write in the chat box, unbelievable. All right, so unbelievable. Why unbelievable gives you that good feeling? Even if things go, things go bad or good, if you answer with unbelievable, it could be unbelievably good or unbelievably bad. But unbelievable is not a lie. It is in both ways the truth, right? Now, why would you do that? Is because if you give yourself that good feeling you will express that with your body language in a certain energy, at a certain frequency. And that's why people sometimes push other people away from them or just pull them in. It's by having that positive body language on a certain energy, a certain frequency. So if I ask you, and to this morning things went completely wrong and this went wrong and that went wrong, I would say, hey, how you doing? You should say Unbelievable. And it got maybe unbelievably bad, but hey, unbelievable. And it's that body language that will attract people towards you instead of you pushing them away from you. Does it make sense? All right, now these people know that too. And I'm not going to play the full video because we're going to be, uh, put, uh, they're going to throw us out of Zoom because there's, there's rights on that video. But this is the video I had it before that experience, so that's why I'm not gonna play it. So about the haka, the haka is from the New Zealand, the Maoris that play rugby, and they have a certain way of putting pressure on their body, right? If you want to know more about that haka, please go to Google or YouTube. YouTube is even better. Haka, the greatest haka ever, H-A-K-A. And what they do, they do certain physical movements, they put themselves under such a pressure that they— hey, we're unbeatable, we are just unbeatable, do whatever you want, we're gonna get you anyway. That is an attitude to have, is to put yourself under such a pressure and say, hey, yes. And how can you do that in life? You, right, you put your hands like this, your arms like this, right in front of you. And maybe join me in the exercise right now, very short, very quick exercise like this. Yeah, and you push your fists together and you push it so hard, so hard, so hard until it hurts. It should hurt. I mean, you should be shaking like this, right? It hurts, it hurts. And then you release it along your body like this, right? You shake it out, you shake it out, you shake it out. And what happens is you got like, wow, you know, these happy hormones that get released, which we call endorphins. And if you do that on a regular basis, you go like, wow, wow, and you get unbeatable. And then you go into your room and say, hey guys, how you all doing, right? And that's the attitude to have, is to have that energy, to have that exercise first, release endorphins, the happy hormone, and do it twice and three times and four times, as much as you need. And then go in the room and go like, hey, how you all doing? And I'm gonna say, how are you doing? Unbelievable. This is the second step, the second tip, tip, tip, tip. Yeah, I'm not going to show it, otherwise they're going to throw us out. So what's in it for you in this presentation is that I want you to make the shift from where you are to the next level, whatever that is for you. What's in it for you? Make the shift to the next level. Now, first of all, we all have a brain. If there's anybody in the room that has no brain Is there anybody? No, I think we all have a brain, right? We have a conscious brain, and you should be having fun with this, right? This is a joke. Anyway, so we all have a brain. We have a conscious brain and subconscious brain. Now, little boys, you know, and their toys— they see a car coming by, they're 14 years old, and they say, wow, I can drive that too. They see a Ferrari coming by, and I can drive, I could do that. At that very moment, they're very unconscious incompetent. Would you agree? Now they go in that car for the very first time at a legal age to start driving a car, and they go like, hmm, this is worse than playing piano. My goodness, you have to watch for this, do this, do that. I mean, maybe there's some people among you here that say, yeah, true, I can remember that. At that very moment, you're conscious incompetent. Now the next step is that you get your driver's license and you're on the road for the very first time on your own. And you go like very conscious, you know, indicator, the clutch, the this, the that, and you become conscious competent. Now, 25 years later, you're driving the car, no seatbelt, too fast, a cup of coffee, on the phone. You shouldn't do it, but you do it anyway, right? I know you, you know why? Because I've done it before myself. And what happens is that become unconscious competent. It becomes a habit, it becomes a ritual. Right now, this is the same with body language, and this is the same whatever you do in life. Make sure to go through the whole process. Be unconscious incompetent, become conscious incompetent, and then learn and do it over and over and over and over again and become so unconscious competent that it becomes a habit, a second skin, a second nature. And that's for body language, that's for business. I mean, can I have a joke? Can I make a joke about how you make kids? How many of you know how you make kids? I mean, the more you practice, the better you become, right? And all of a sudden, bang! Okay, so it's with everything, you know. I'm gonna say— I'm gonna keep my, uh, my language at the minute, but hey, it's just a metaphor anyway. Now we have two brains communicating with each other. What happens is, again, we got this conscious mind and a subconscious mind. Now what happens consciously— we have a conscious, and what is conscious, that is what we taste, what we hear, what we say, what we touch. That's conscious. Does that make sense? That is in the moment. When you do something in the conscious, you transfer 40 bits of data per second from one person to another person. Now, subconscious is the non-verbal. Non-verbal goes through the subconscious mind. And what is non-verbal? Non-verbal is body language and intonation. Can you imagine I'm sitting— I'm standing here for you and say, yeah, today we're going to have an amazing presentation, the presentation is going to be— you will fall asleep after 5 minutes. You have to have an intonation. So non-verbal is intonation and body language. Body language 55%, intonation 38%, and the conscious, the words, is only 7%. Words conscious, 7%, 40 bits of data per second. Subconscious, non-verbal, 38% intonation, 55% body language. And we transfer 40 million bits of data per second subconsciously. Can you imagine when people say body language is the most important language in communication? Would you agree now? It's 40 million bits of data per second from subconscious to subconscious. Now what happens is that that information goes from conscious and subconscious to the other person, it gets processed, and it comes back to you. That's why people say, or it is being said, that your outside world is a reflection of yourself. Does that make sense? Ever heard that quote, right? So how are you all doing? Wake up! Unbelievable, right? Now the last part I want to pay attention to is the RAS, the reticular activating system. That is the search engine of your brain, the search engine of your brain that will look for the things you are thinking about. Why is it being said in seminars to have a mind map or a vision board? It's because that reticular activating system will look at your vision board and search for the things or tools you need to get there. Let me give you an example. If you drive a Volkswagen today and the Volkswagen is 20 years old and you say, you know what, time to change the car, and you go to a BMW shop and you say, hey, I would like to have some information, and you end up buying one and you're so excited and you go on the road and you're on the motorway in your Volkswagen and you see BMWs everywhere. Ever had that experience or a similar experience? I think so, right? We all had that experience. And that's the reticular activating system looking for these tools, looking for these signals, these, these images. And, and if you have that vision board or that mind map on your wall— this isn't just another joke, this is, this is for real— if you look at it enough and you put the action to it, which is very important— knowledge is one, applied knowledge is priceless— you will get there anyway in the end. That's the same with body language. Now, what we do in the first place is we want to find out who you are. And why do I want to find out who you are? It's for you, not for me. You should find out who are you, and I'll let you know why. This is a test. I'm going to spare you the details. If you want them, just send us an email. I'll be glad to share all that information. But what I want to find out is who you are. Is— are you a team player? Are you a solo player? Are you an extrovert, an introvert? Are you an active person or a very calm and soft person? Who are you? And if you can find out who you are and you know which questions to ask to another person and find out who they are— let's say you are in the red zone and you are speaking to a green, a green person that is an introverted solo player, rational, calm, and soft person— you might step out of your red zone, get into that green zone, and start speaking green language to a green person. What do you do at that time? You are leveling. That's the third tip I want to give away. Make sure to level with people. Don't speak about your experience and I'm this and I'm the other. People are not interested in you. People are only interested in themselves. Always remember that. So if you know which questions to ask from you to another person you might find out who they are. Which color? Blue, yellow, green, red? If you know you're a red, that's okay, you already know it. But you have to find out which color you're talking to. And how do you find out? By asking open questions. The questions that start with why, where, when, which, who, and how. I'm forgetting one, there's 6 W's, but you'll find out. The 6 W's and how. If you start your questions with these words, people have to come up with a story. They have to give you nuggets, they have to give you information. That will give you the time to read their body language, to find out if they're lying to you, to prepare your next question, etc., etc., etc. Stop talking and start asking questions, ladies and gentlemen. This is so important. Millionaires and billionaires don't become millionaires and billionaires by speaking. They become millionaires and billionaires by asking questions. And if you know one, pay attention to how they speak to you. They will always ask questions. And that's because they want to level with you. And there's one particular example, Milton Erickson. Milton Erickson was a psychiatrist, psych— psychologist, and he will always level with his patients. Somebody would come in and, Mr. Erickson, I feel, I feel so bad. And he would say, I understand, take a seat. 'Let's have a chat.' And then 3 hours later, the patient would come in, 'Hey, hey,' and he would do the same thing. He would level in terms of tone of voice, volume, body language. He will copy-paste, he would mirror that patient. And then that brain of that patient, it will go like, 'Oh wow, somebody like me.' Does that make sense? Right? So level. All right, let's get on with it. Hey, do you know that your eyes are connected with your brain? And you will say, yeah, duh, that's normal. Otherwise, how can I use my eyes, right? They're connected with your brain. But do you know that your right eye is connected with your left brain and your left eye with your right brain? So we have a right brain, which is the emotional brain. We got the left brain, which is the rational brain, which is connected diagonally with the eyes. So your right eye connected with your left brain is your rational eye. Your left brain is your emotional eye. Now why do I tell you this? And this is the next step. I don't know how many tips I already gave away, but the next step is if you look with your left eye into somebody's left eye, which is connected with your right brain, your emotional brain, you might have a complete different outcome towards your question. Let me give you an example. I would turn myself a little bit to the right. I'm exaggerating now, right? A little bit to the right, look with my left eye into your left eye. What I do at that time is connecting my right brain to your right brain, and I will say, hey, how was your trip to Egypt last year? Because I connect my emotional brain with your emotional brain, the outcome of the question, the answer, will be completely different on a higher level. Now I will pay attention to your body language to define if it's true or not, and I'll explain it to you later how that works in the next slide. Now if I have a rational question, I would turn myself like this and show my right side, which is my rational side of my body. I look at my right eye into your right eye, so my left brain, my rational brain, will connect with your rational brain. The outcome of my question, your answer, will be from a completely different level. That makes sense. So how are you all doing? Unbelievable, I guess. All right, next step. Please, ladies and gentlemen, try to use that on your partner. You'll be astonished the results you're gonna get, right? But don't tell them you got it from me. I don't want to get in any trouble. Anyway, let's continue. Let's have some fun, right? Now, where is one looking and why? Where is one looking and why? When I ask you a question, and I would ask you a rational question, it would be completely normal if you would think about it that you would look up right. I don't know if that translates in the camera and on your screen, but this is my right side. So if I ask you a rational question And you look that way and think about it and then come with an answer that would really make sense. Why? Because right is your rational side, right? It's a construction. So how is your agenda for next week? And you're, oh yeah, just a minute, let me think about it. Completely normal. Now, if I would ask you an emotional question, hey, how are your kids doing? How is family? That barbecue next week is still going on? Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're like, just a minute, and you would look up left, that would be completely normal too because it's a memory, it's an emotional thing, right? Now if I would ask you, how was your trip to Egypt last year? Same question as I asked before, and you will look like, hey, yeah, that's a construction. Now watch out, if that's a construction, maybe you're very busy that day and you have to make a construction of some I think you should remember. But for me, that's a red flag. And if I ask you a second question, and a third, and a fourth, and a fifth, and a sixth, and a seventh— by the seventh question, if I have 7 red flags, you're probably lying to me. And this is how you can define a lie like this in a split second. So when somebody looks right, it's a construction, rational. Left emotional memory when they answer your question. If you have any questions about this, because I know it's a lot of content in a very short period of time, please ask the questions in the chat. If we can't answer your questions immediately, we'll come back to you anyway, but within 24 hours. But ask your question because this is very important material, very important stuff. Right now, how do you analyze body language? Anybody, any idea?

Anybody?

How are you all doing, by the way? Unbelievable.

Yeah.

All right, so how do you analyze body language? The first way to analyze body language is that you can see, you can watch somebody, you can see them. As you can see here, these eyes, right? You can't speak, right? You can only see them. You can't hear them, you can't speak to them, but you can see them.. And for me, I love it when I'm in a restaurant, I'm watching people and say, look at this one. Oh my God, look at this body language. Oh wow, that's fascinating, isn't it?

Oh my God, look at this.

So this is amazing thing to play with as well. Even in the tube in London, when you're in the tube, you watch people go like, woo. I mean, 90% is on their phone, but 10% does something else. And it's amazing to watch the body language. Now, the first thing to do is to analyze body language and you start with the feet. And why the feet? This is another tip I'm giving away to you. Why would you analyze the feet first? The feet are the body parts the further away from the brain and the less controllable. That's why you should start with the feet. The feet will tell you so much more than anything else. And there's another person that wants to get in, admit. Voilà, should be okay. And so you start with the feet. And then you go up and you go from the feet to the legs, the hands. If that point or not, it's not working, so I'm going to kind of, you know, pushing the button. So the feet, the legs, we go to the hands, the arms, the body, and then the head. Now microexpressions, you will analyze them when you— I mean, it's become— when it becomes a habit, you'll do it anyway. But it's very important to remember that microexpressions, to read microexpressions constantly. What are micro expressions? These are the little expressions in your face. If I would say, that is an amazing, an amazing thing, isn't it? You would say, wow. That's a very obvious micro expression, right? But in the meantime, you look at the feet as well. Anyway, practice makes it, you know, the more you do it, the better you become. I mentioned it already. Now, the second way to read body language is by listening to people. So again, back in that restaurant, you sit next to another table and you can hear them speaking. You shouldn't do— you shouldn't listen to them, you know, it's not done. But hey, it's too tempting, right? And you're listening to the conversation and you watch their body language in a very subtle way. Now what happens is that what you can do when you listen to somebody is to detect if they are— so racist stands for Rational, emotional. Who are they? Are they rational or emotional people? Are they active and fast or calm and soft? Who are they? Are they extrovert or introvert? Right? And the S stands for solo player, team player. Who are these people? And even if the conversation is very interesting and, you know, you would like to get in contact with them, and you might turn your chair and say, hey, sir, ma'am, sorry for interrupting, but I couldn't, I mean, I couldn't resist. I heard your conversation. I really would like to connect with you because I think we can add value to each other. Wouldn't that be great to have a conversation about this and this and this? And you already know that they're rational, they're very calm and soft, introverts and solo players, because you were listening to the conversation, you watched their body language. So it can adapt to their— you can adapt to the conversation and you can level with them, right? However, do it in a very subtle way each time. Whatever you do, do it subtle, right? Now, the third way to analyze body language is you can see, you can hear, and you can speak. You can ask questions. Always ask questions. The 6 W's and making assumptions. That's how you can speak to somebody by asking questions. Hey, where did you go on holiday last year? What are you— what car, what type of car are you driving? Why? Where? When? Which? Who? How? And assumptions. It's amazing weather today here in Southampton. What do you think? Okay, so next, this is a video, and this is the next thing, and it's about being influenced by certain situations that might change your body language, that might change your state, that might change everything. For a complete day. I'm going to let you watch the video first. It's a very short video, by the way, but hey, enjoy. Let's see if I have enough sound here. Did you get it? Did you have the sound on, or could you hear it? Okay, so what happens here is that in the morning you leave your house and the key is on the inside and the door smashes, and you go, oh no, right? That happened with that person on the moon, right? But when you have it in real life and you forget your key, the door closes and your key's on the inside. The rest of the day is set. It's the same thing when you get up in the morning and you look in that mirror and you say, hey, it's not my day today, isn't it? And you open up the window and it's raining. Oh my goodness. Oh yeah, I forgot I live in the UK, right? And you go downstairs and the coffee's not made, your shirt is not ironed, you get in your car, you get in a traffic jam, nobody lets you through, you go like, oh my God. You get in the office and everybody says, "Hey Bob, how you doing today?" And you say, "Not now, I'm not in the mood." You can change that, do you know that? You can get up in the morning and open up the window and it's raining and you say, "Yes, it's raining, I have to go to my office anyway, so no holiday, raining, no worries." You go into the bathroom and you go like, "Hey, look at you, Tiger, how are you today? Oh my God, I love you so much." You go downstairs, your coffee is on the timer, so it's made up front. Your shirt is ironed the night before. You go in a traffic jam and you put on your favorite music, your seminar, whatever you want to put on. And then you arrive at the office and they say, hey, how you doing? And you go, hey, I'm great. Come here, you. I love you. Complete different situation. Same things are happening, but it's how you handle it. It's not important what happens, it's important how you handle it. And that will set the rest of your life as well. It depends on how do you think, right? We'll project a certain body language, and that body language will be produced— will be producing a certain energy at a certain frequency. That's why you attract certain people or push them away. So many people say, it's always me, always the same people. And why? Well, change your thinking will change your state, will change your body language, will change the energy and the frequency. And you might change the people you attract towards you. Does that make sense? Right, so this is another person that I have to let in. All right, awesome. Now this is another one. I can't play the video neither. This is, uh, there's copyrights on it, but this is President Obama arriving, uh, in London with the Prime Minister. And President, I will give it a try if I Leave the music down. I'm gonna leave the music down. You'll see, I'll explain it later. Have a look. So President Obama is giving a hand to the policeman. Policeman excited. Prime Minister wants to give a hand and he says, 'Nah.' Can you imagine? I'll play it again. You see, Obama is approaching the police officer, gives him a hand, and the Prime Minister said, 'Nah.' Can you imagine this is you? Somebody, you're reaching your hand and the person, nah, and walks away. These are things that will influence you as a person. They will have an influence on you whether you like it or not. Now that police officer will remember that for the rest of his days, that's for sure. This went viral all over the planet. But let's stick to you. When that happens, that will have an influence on you whether you like it or not, and it's up to you to make that shift immediately and say, you know what, that says an awful lot about them and not about me. By the way, what people say to you or think about you is none of your freaking business. Does that make sense? You can't let people influence you about what they say or what they think about you. And that will make a shift in your life like crazy. Anyway, let's go on. Now, going into body language a little bit, and then I'm gonna wrap it up. And giving a handshake, make sure to never squeeze the hand of a person because that will say about you like you're dominant, you're arrogant, you want to control the conversation. If you give a handshake like that, please change it. Don't do that ever again. Now make sure to not give that kind of handshake, that kind of handshake, the fishy handshake. If I had somebody give you a hand and you're like, ugh, right? I mean, I have people like that. I mean, I see people on a regular basis, not now because of Corona, but before they, hey Sarah, how you doing? They give you a hand, that's shit. Oh my God, not with— ah, yucky. So make sure to not do that yourself, right? Now the next is— the next picture on the right bottom is give a handshake, a straightforward handshake, squeeze the hand but not too much, a firm handshake. Now the picture in the middle is a picture of how in the Roman Empire people gave a hand to each other, and what they actually did is that they were checking each other— I'm gonna— yeah, they were checking each other for hidden arms, hidden knives, and that's from the Roman Empire. They would give a hand like this like this, and they were just checking if there were any harm, any hidden arms, knives, etc., etc. I mean, I don't think you still use that today, you know, to check somebody for hidden arms, but that was in the Roman Empire. Now, next is a dominant handshake. So when somebody gives you a hand and they turn their hand like this, they will have the upper hand, as we call it. Now, somebody that wants to give you a hand like this and have the upper hand might be a dominant person and might be the person who wants to dominate conversation. Maybe they know about body language, maybe they don't, but this says an awful lot about the person and about the situation, what they want to do through their handshake. Now, the other person might think the same thing and put their hand on top of it, right? Like you can see, this is in a different way they do it, and this is a different way. So here, the lady, her arm is dominating my hand. And I will put my hand on top of it because I want to dominate. Politicians play that game on a daily basis. I never watch the news because I don't believe it, but if you watch the news and you watch politicians, you'll see they play that game on a daily basis when they shake hands. Maybe not today with the corona, but hey. Now, who starts dominating will dominate in the end. So what you'll see, the person here is dominating in the first place Yeah, I'm pointing at my screen, but you can't see that, right? So I have to use my thing here. So this person is dominating, they put their hand on top of it, so they got both hands busy. The one who starts dominating will dominate in the end. Have a look at this picture, the last picture. So what you see is that the one who starts dominating had one hand left and will put it— one hand left— and would put it on the shoulder of the other person. And that's how it is done, how the game is done about dominating. So when that happens, when you meet somebody— I don't know if you're ever going to meet somebody like that, maybe you don't attract that kind of people— but when you meet somebody like that, be aware of it. All right, now as I said, leveling. This is a following tip, a tip that I'll give you is a tip of leveling, the tip of mirroring, right? Ever heard about mirroring? Are you still all doing unbelievable? Unbelievable? Yeah, all right, awesome. So leveling and mirroring— what happens, I will meet somebody and I will stand like this and they will stand like this too. I will copy-paste them. They might change this way, I will copy-paste them. They might change this way, I will copy-paste them. I will copy-paste them constantly, 5, 6, 7 times And then when they don't change their posture, maybe they will be like that. I will change before they change, perhaps like this. If they copy-paste me, then there's a connection on a higher level, and it's called mirroring. So you mirror the person, and before they change, after 6-7 times, you change first. If they copy-paste you, you have a connection on a complete a higher level. Because whatever you ask afterwards, chances of getting a yes are far more higher. Because you gotta say, hey, this is an amazing day, isn't it? Look at my head. This is an amazing day, isn't it? And they go like, yeah, it's an amazing day. And how is life? All good? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Did you see my business yesterday? Oh yes, I did. Would you be interested in me? I'm exaggerating. I mean, don't do it the way I do it. But I'm exaggerating, it's just to make the point, is to make my point, to make clear that if you have enough yeses during conversations while mirroring, chances of doing deals or having a positive outcome, even in your relationship with your partner, with your kids, chances of having that positive outcome are far more higher when you mirror. Try it out. However, one very important detail: do it very subtle. Because if they find out you're mirroring, you're done. I mean, we all— I don't know how many of you have kids, but your kids used to say something and you would copy it. Hi Dad, you would say hi Dad. How are you doing? How you doing? Stop copying me, stop copying me. And they would go crazy, right? Kids do that, they have that kind of game. I did it myself. So if you copy-paste somebody please do it subtle. And if you think it's not working for you at that very moment, stop doing it, right? You can fake certain things. Like they say, you can fake it until you make it. You can fake certain things, but you can't fake everything. So very, very subtle. Watch out what you do, how you do it. All right, next. I think I have to do an investment. That clicker is— all right. So pointing out something is done in a very specific way. What I mean about that is that when you point out like this with your finger, it can be very dominant and arrogant. Now, when you are talking to somebody that did something completely wrong to you or about something, you might have to point it out like this. Hey, didn't I tell you this? Didn't I tell you that? That might be necessary. But do know, in a normal conversation, when you use this right? It might be very arrogant and dominant. Now, certain people would accentuate something like this: hey, I have a very important thing to say to you, very— listen very carefully. If you use this in certain countries, it says you're a zero, you're a nil. So if you do that— and so I'm thinking about Tunisia and France— if you do that, it's very, very, very not done. The one thing to do if you want to accentuate something when you're in a conversation is the third picture here on the bottom right, is to put your thumb and your index finger as flat as possible like this, right? And do it very subtle. Hey, I have a very important thing to say to you. So don't do this, don't do this, but like this. Hey, listen. And you will never ever do anything wrong with that. Let's continue. Time is ticking. I don't know what the time is. Oh wow, 8:40— 11:48. I want to respect your time. So this is a position of the hands that says very confident. I know what I'm talking about. I'm very well prepared. I have an answer ready for every question. Angela Merkel from Germany, the chancellor, is always like that. I found a picture on the internet and it was 20 pictures of Angela Merkel all like this, and on top of that it was written, 'Stop playing with super glue,' like this. Now I've got people copying me and they say like, 'Hey, this,' and they exaggerate because I told them, I said, 'Don't do that. Make sure it's in a natural way.' Like, 'Hey, let me tell you this. I've got something to tell you,' like this. So look, my hands, right? It's not about my words, it's about my hands. And that, that person I showed, and he went like, 'Oh yeah, I've got something very important.' I say, 'Stop doing this, this is not working.' You're exaggerating. So whatever you do, whatever you see here today and you apply it, do it in a very subtle way. All right, let's move on. Showing thumbs is a positive energy. Whatever the gesture or posture is, whenever there's thumbs involved in it, positive energy. Now, seducing— remember, the left part of your neck is connected with your right brain, which is the emotional part. And when ladies, even men sometimes, show the left part of the neck and they look over like over their glasses, and they might say, hey, what are you doing tonight, right? That is a way of seducing. Is it the way? I leave that in the middle, but it's a way of seducing. And when people do that unconsciously, right, and you see the left part of the neck and the head still a little bit forward, that might be seducing you. Now look Be very careful to, to, to be aware where you are. If this is done in an office, they might not be seducing you, right? So make sure to analyze it in a proper way. Now, this is the macho type man that grabs the belt and says, hey you, and the lady immediately crosses her arms in terms of protecting herself. Does that make sense? It's a very easy one. The next one is possession. In the left, so here in that picture, the man says, this is mine, don't even think about it. And in football magazines, the right picture here, she is putting her hand on his chest. Same thing, don't even think about it, this is mine. This is a way of showing, hey, this is— don't touch. Possessiveness, in a positive way, by the way, right? Now here is a perfect example of— have a look at the feet of the guy. One foot is pointing away and he's grabbing the arm of that lady and he says to the lady, listen, I got something very important to say to you, I don't have much time, but hey, listen. And he says what he has to say. And why is that this way? Because his foot, his foot here in the left picture is pointing in the direction where he wants to leave. The foot here in the right picture as well points out the direction the person wants to leave. Remember that when the foot is pointing away, you should wrap up the conversation. Give me an ex— I'll give you an example. I am having a conversation with you and we have that conversation and I see your foot is pointing away. One foot is pointing away in a certain direction. I would say, hey Hannah, listen, let's wrap up the conversation. We're all busy people. Um, when do we meet again? Next week, Thursday, would that be okay? 10 o'clock? Awesome, see you next Thursday, 10 o'clock. Have an amazing day, ciao. Because I saw the foot, I have to wrap up the conversation with— when that happens, people are not listening to you 100%. That makes sense because they want to leave, and they will, they will listen to you because they want to be polite. But that's all it is. So if you see things like that, wrap up your conversation and let the person go. Do it in a specific way, that is, right? All right, now this is a sign of somebody who is very, uh, lacking confidence. So when the higher the arm, the higher the lack of confidence, in the front or in the back. When you see people waiting in a hospital, doctor's office at the metro, the metro, or the tube, or whatever they're waiting, and you see them waiting like this, that might be a lack of confidence. All right, now back to life. We all got born, I guess, become a toddler, kid, teenager, a young adult, and then we get to the productive part of our life, the maximum results. And afterwards we go through midlife, aging elderly home, and finally where we all go is that we die. Would you agree? So this is the cycle of life, and the cycle of life is there for everybody. Now today I want you to get re-energizing yourself in a way that you say, hey, what I am today is amazing. However, I would like to restart all over again and go fully forward. And how does that happen? Well, the life cycle of you and your business. My question to you is, where are you now as a person, and where are you now with your business? Is your business a young adult? Is your business just got born, or is your business aging? Or are you maybe 25 years old, however ready for elderly home in your thinking? Don't get me wrong, but that's— some people think like that. Some people are aging and are still 25 in their mind. So where are you in life and where is your business in life? And re-energize yourself. Let me show you how. Go up, you get born, toddler, kid, teenager, young adult, your maximum result, midlife, aging, elderly, home, die, right? And Apple got born in 1976. I'm going to use the example of Apple. We all know Apple, right? Apple became a young adult in 1985. The zone of maximization of Apple was 1990, and in midlife, '97. That was the turning point for Steve Jobs to say, hey, this is— it's time to change. We are going through a midlife crisis. In 1998, the first iMac was born, the iPod, the iPhone, the iPad, and the list goes on and on and on. Where are you and where is your business? Where are you? Are you in that midlife period? That's, hey, I have to go back, I have to get reborn. The only thing I can say, just do it. Get re-energized and get reborn. Last slide, and then I'm gonna give the word back, the stage back to Hannah. So tips and tricks. First of all, read the feet first and go up. The second tip, I didn't mention it yet, is when you have an interview, make sure to have a glass-top table so you can read what's going on under the table. Now, if you are being interviewed and there's a glass-top table, you might be aware of the fact that the HR department knows about body language. So it's a two-way thing. If you are the interviewer or you're being interviewed, whenever there's a glass-top table, watch out what happens under the table as the interviewer or the one who is interviewed. Right, does it make sense? All right, so let's wrap it up. Are there any questions? I would like to have you to write your questions in the chat box. I would like to thank you. I'm not leaving yet, but I would like to thank you. See what's never being said, and the only thing I can say: make your life a masterpiece and go fully forward, because you know what? No one will do it for you. And I'm back here, and Hannah, I'll leave the work to you now.

I've got some questions for you, Rene. Can you hear me?

I can't hear you, is that normal?

Can you hear me? Can you hear me, Rene?

Perfect.

Okay, so there's a few questions. When I'm asking these, maybe if you think of some, guys, you can put them in the chat box. So How can I be more aware of how I'm coming across with my body language? So you've told me what I can be looking for in other people, but how do I— how could I be more aware of how I come across? If I walk into a room where there's lots of people, or my mentors, or whatever, what do I need to be aware of with how I'm coming across?

Uh, there's only one thing to be aware of, is to be yourself. Do not fake it. That's the most important thing, to never, never, ever change your body, to never ever change your thinking, the way you are, the way you feel. Don't ever do that for anybody. Be yourself. What you could do is, is get to that next level in terms of the words that you use, the vocabulary that you use. Go to a body language course, go to an NLP course, Neuro Linguistic Programming. How do you use certain words in a certain way? Go to that seminar, but don't become a seminar hopper in the first place, because I know people, they've been going to seminars for 15 years and nothing changes, right? Make sure to learn and to apply. And but the main thing is to stay who you are. Never change that. Improve yourself, but never change.

And I think sometimes people give us feedback about our body language. So I might have told you before, guys, about my resting bitch face. Have I told you about that? So, so where I'm there and, um At school, people would be like, is everything all right, Han? And I'd be like, yeah, why? Are you my friend? And I'd be like, yeah, why? You just seem really moody. I'm like, oh, and it's because I'd be like this, looking for a fight with my face, and I didn't even realize it. Then I would answer the phone and people would be like, are you okay with me? You just sound really down. And I remember in the space of a week, I'd have 4 people tell me about my face and how I answered the phone. And actually, I thought to myself, if I'm the CEO of Cherished and cherishing people and being kind, I've got to sort this out. Because actually, I was giving off this vibe of being moody and a bitch. So now hopefully I've worked on that enough so you're not seeing that resting bitch face. But sometimes it is about that feedback and working on ourselves. The second question I've got, Renee, is where is it the hardest place to read someone? And is it possible to not be able to read them?

Exactly, it's a very good question, Anna. There's 3 people it's very hard to read body language, and the first kind of people are people who are using drugs, alcohol, high levels of medicine or medication. What they do, in fact, they change their state of their body. They're changing the chemical, the chemistry in their head and body, so all of it changes, and their body language might not be congruent with what they say, right? When somebody is drunk or they use drugs and they're in a higher— I say that state— in a different state, the body language is not according to what they say. The second type of people are professional actors. They can act so well you might have a hard time reading their body language. The third type of people— there's only three of them— Uh, the third type of people is the narcissist and pathological liars. So they believe so strong in their own lies, it's— their body will adapt, and it's very hard to get it out. Um, why do I mention narcissist? Why do I mention pathological liar? Because I've been working with people like that, and it's, it's, it's nice to see when they start changing and, and finding out, like Fuck, did I do, oh, sorry for the word. Did I do that for so many years? Sorry. I'm a product of Robbins, you know. I've been working with Robbins for the last 25 years. So he's cursing. Gary Vee, Tai Lopez, Grant Cardone, I work with them on a regular basis. Just got back from Australia, was in Birmingham with them. Had an amazing time in Bangkok with Robert Kiyosaki, Richard Branson, Brian Tracy in London, Jack Canfield in London. I mean, I can go on and on and on, but when you are surrounded, that's one of the things, surround yourself with a certain amount of people and you become like them, right? So that's what's happening with me when I work with these people, is like, fuck here, fuck there. I shouldn't do it on a Zoom, but anyway. Um, so the last, the third kind of people is the narcissist and the pathological liar. So they believe so strongly in what they say that their body adapts and will produce a body language along the words they use. So these are the three people, the three kind of people, very, uh, it's very hard to read their body language. You can read their body language by asking different questions Open questions again, but then still then they might play the game with you because these people are game players, right?

So I've got another question. Can we teach children about body language?

Yep, absolutely. Um, I've got a funny story. Um, my 11-year-old, um, is in Belgium. I'm living in the UK. I've got divorced, etc., etc. But my 11-year-old, when he was 9 years, he got back from school and I had to go to the teacher. And like every parent, sometimes you have to go to teachers and then they make an evaluation of your kid. And I was there and all parents were there and we had a conversation. All the teachers said, hey, can I ask you a personal question? I said, yeah, sure, you can ask me anything. And they said, is it true, are you into body language? I said, uh, yeah, why? Well, your son said that he couldn't lie back home because my daddy is in body language. So can you, can you teach them? Of course you can. Between the age of 3, 4 till 11, 12, kids are open for information. And the most beautiful proof is that, hey, why this, why that? Kids are having millions of questions in that small period of time, and that's where you can teach them little nuggets. And then I have open conversations with a lot of people about this, and they say, wow, isn't that amazing? However, the relationship after that, when having these conversations, is a completely different relationship. An open relationship, an honest relationship, because they know what— how you think. I mean, if you watch these movies from Wayne Dyer, The Shift, for example, you'll find out how I live. Wayne Dyer, The Shift, for free on YouTube, by the way, for those who are interested. And The Shift, Wayne Dyer. This, this is— if you live a certain lifestyle, right, people will— they want to know more about you. If you teach your kids— because that's your question— if you can teach your give a little bit of nuggets about body language, the little small things, they might say, hey, this is interesting. They might even think, hey, I can use this, right? And watch out, ladies and gentlemen, if you use body language in a positive way or in a negative way, karma will come back to you. Always remember that.

I think about Abel, my son, he's 3. He's got that little sponge. So the way in which we would do it at home is with the teddies. And we would look at how the different teddies are coming across to each other or what they might be saying or how they might be feeling. And they're just very, very basic things about how we can look at how people are coming across, how that person might feel. In terms of our mentoring in children's work, that's a way in which we could, we could do that. Yeah, absolutely. Jamie's put, he's a bit of a twitcher, can't sit still. It doesn't matter what scenario he's in, he could be confident, happy or unhappy or stressed. How could this come across to others?

I'm a bit of a 20-year-old, can't sit still, calm still. It doesn't matter what scenario I'm in, I could be confident, happy, unhappy, or sad. How could I come across to others? Um, depends on who define others. I mean, if these people know about body language and they know you a little bit, or as family, they might say, yeah, hey, it's Jamie, what do you want? However, if you're in a business deal, uh, they might say, hey, is everything okay with you? Right? How do others think about you is who is others. Define others. Some people might be concerned, some people might be scared, some people might be, hey, it's Jamie, you know. Does that make sense? Jamie, if you want to unmute you and then get into the conversation, don't worry, man.

Please excuse me. Okay. I can't hear you, Jay.

Can't hear you now. If you want to add some questions to it, so it might be interesting for the other people as well, you know, because you guys get in contact with somebody who is like that, and how should I react upon, for example. Jamie, could you add something, or do you want to add something?

Yeah, he'll put his thumbs up. Also, sometimes when we're quite busy people and think a lot and have a lot going on, that can also come out in our body language as well, can't it, without us realising it. Another thing, we've got Ria. I'm just going to move to Ria a second, Renee. I have a couple of questions. What is the difference between being yourself but still being aware of your body language? For instance, my best friend can come across a bit cold to people who don't know her, but if she forces herself to be different, it doesn't make her or make her feel good. The other question is, is it good to mirror a child in the work we're doing to inspire them to become—

I can't hear you, Hannah.

Can you hear me?

Now I can hear you. I mean, the more you approach your screen, the less I hear you.

Can you read it in the chat? Rene Deceuninck.

Yeah, I have a couple of questions. What is the difference between being yourself but still being aware of your body language? If you are yourself, you don't have to be aware of your body language because you're yourself, right? And if you're honest, you never have to doubt anything. If people don't like you being honest, that's their problem. What they think about you is none of your business. Be yourself means be yourself in your body language and in you and in your language that you use, the words that you use. Always make sure that you're honest, make sure that you're straightforward, make sure that you say the things as they are, right? So then you don't have to worry about your body language. Uh, for instance, my best friend can come across a bit cold to people who don't know her, but if she forces herself to be different, it doesn't make her feel good. The other question is, good to mirror— is it good to mirror a child in the work we're doing, inspiring them? Yeah. Um, Excuse my ignorance, but no, I never, never apologize for anything. I mean, and especially not for that. I mean, now, if they don't feel well by changing their state by using certain body language, then stop doing it. People— I mean, when I'm a single, right, and if I would meet somebody in the future, right, my first thing is, if you, if you don't like me at my worst, don't— definitely don't deserve me at my best. That's the first thing. And what you see is what you get. Amen. So never apologize and be you and say the things as they are. And never, never, ever give in to anything. Every single person in this chat on this planet is unique. And if people don't like you, that's their problem, not yours, right? So that person, that friend of yours, give her the advice to be who she is. Done, right? It might enhance through the years and evolve through the years. I mean, I was not the person at 36 that I am today. We all go through evolution. But, uh, yeah, that's what it is.

Um, and Jules has said a really interesting question: how does attachment style affect body language? Well, attachment is all about safety and that relationship in the early years. So if we've got disorganized attachment or stuff that's happened in early years which has impacted that, that's then going to go on to impact how we then relate and come across to others. So it could be I haven't felt safe in my early years and people scare me and I can't trust you. So when we walk into environments, I might be showing you that with my body, what I'm doing, how I'm feeling, redneck, holding on to things. And like we know, if that child hasn't felt safe, seen, soothed, and secure, that's then going to impact them as a woman or a man in relationships, marriages, friendships, that then just transcends all the way through into everything. Yeah.

Well, for example, in relationships, I had a conversation, a very interesting conversation a couple of days ago with somebody from Belgium. I'm in a new relationship. It's only 2 months. And the guy was all over me. And if I would have believed him, we would go and get married within 6 months. And then, oh my God, he loves me so much and he wants to give me the world. You know what? Been there, done that. The first 3 months, you know, we jump into bed 3 times a day, and after 3 months, you know, shit happens. And it's the same. I mean, I've been there, done that, right? Now I said to her, listen, listen, listen, listen, because she wants to— she says that I'm texting him, he's not replying, texting him, not replying. Uh, he says, uh, he will, uh, come back to me when he's ready. I said, stop doing what you're doing. If you think about when when having— when making love and the thing is happening, there is a cell chasing an egg. I never saw the egg chasing the cell. Does that make sense? And if your man is not chasing you, get rid of him, period. Do it slow.

I'm aware of time, Rene, we're just going to finish with Jamie's if that's okay.

Yeah, okay, good.

Jamie's put, yeah, I deal with a lot of people at different levels, so it could be the MD of the business, I am clinching a deal, or it could be one of my managers and interdisciplinary, so varied. Most people know me, who I deal with, but really is it for those who don't? So for me, twitching around would make me believe that they aren't—

that they are nervous or not Okay, what, what I would like to give away as a tip, and that's for everybody, that is, I'm going to take myself as an example. When I, before I go on stage, and it might be a room with 10,000 people or 500 people, it doesn't matter, what I do always, I will separate myself in a different room where I'm on my own. I will do breathing exercises. Breathing exercises are calming you down. Breathing exercises will get you in such a state that you can think clearly. What I mean about that, if you give enough oxygen to your brain, your state of your brain will change and your whole body will change too. So you can do that in a toilet, you can do that in your car, you can do that everywhere, right? And ending up with this exercise I showed you in the beginning to release these endorphins. Endorphins are the happy hormones. So when I— when you stand like, you put a little bit apart You close your eyes, you breathe in by pushing your belly, by pushing the diaphragm, so you use the full capacity of your lungs, and you breathe in 10 times, keep it 10 times, breathe out 10 times. No, no, 10 times, 10 seconds, 10 seconds. Yeah, sorry, I'm still Belgian Flemish, you know, I'm trying to— English is my third language. So, so you breathe in 10 seconds, keep it 10 seconds, breathe out 10 seconds. Do that 10 times in a row with your eyes closed, and then you do that exercise. You open up your hands and say, universe, give me the tools I need to do whatever I have to do. It's not about me, I'm just a messenger. Thank you, universe. Let's rock and roll. And I go on stage. Your state, Jamie, will go in such a way that you say, wow, This feels good. You're like, whoa, whoa, and you will calm down. Breathing exercises are so calming down and giving so much energy and clarity in your head, because that might be the reason that you are nervous, that there's no clarity. Maybe you have a certain percentage of clarity but not the full clarity. That makes sense, right?

Any final questions? I've got one, sorry. So I work with young people that have got quite complex and traumatic backgrounds, and to try and get them to open up is obviously quite difficult. And I'm mindful of my body language, I don't want to intimidate them, and they might have had previous negative experiences with other professionals, but I'm really mindful of my body language, probably a bit too conscious. And that, that worries me sometimes, that they're not going to open up. Okay, so when we're working with vulnerable young people, children, families, adults, and that's what we do at Cherished, we create that vibe when we're going into the room. But we also need to remember that the most important thing for a child to open up is for them to feel safe. And if they don't feel safe, there's no way they're going to tell you anything. Now, as we know, and you'll know, they're sussing you out 5 seconds into seeing you. They've looked at you from head to toe, seen what seeing where you're from, and if they've got trust issues, they'll be like, "I don't know if I can trust Natalie. Where's she from? Is she the police? Is she a social worker? Is she this? Is she that?" So it actually sometimes it takes time to create that safe environment, to build that trust, and then it's like, "Do you know what, actually Natalie's all right. I might just start opening up a little bit." But as we both know, it's not that quick fix. It's creating that environment where they're feeling safe, seen, soothed, and secure. So they then start to let a little bit out. I wouldn't be thinking too much about how is my hand, where am I sitting, it's just creating that natural feel because you will then give off that energy of awkwardness without even meaning to. Yeah, that's a worry, isn't it, really? I mean, these are like over 16 but under 25. Yeah, and I think kids want to know they can trust you, that you're not going anywhere, that you've got their back, And also we've got these jumpers on that says, 'It starts with a smile,' because actually sometimes one of the most powerful things in the world can be a smile, and it doesn't cost much, but it just breaks down those barriers. But with every child, Nat, it's different, isn't it? It's different with every child, with adults as well. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But thank you, Renee. I do appreciate it.

You're welcome. I've got one thing here. Thanks so much, Rene and Hannah. Great session, and I shared with my team, and I will share with my team if I may. Listen, all of you, share this as much as you can, because I'm not going to charge anything, and I will never charge these Zooms or anything. If this can change somebody's life, please share it. That's the most important thing for me, to share, to share, to share for free. Right. And if you have questions, can I do this? Can I do it? Just make sure I'm not getting any trouble, that's all.

We get— we're recording this, aren't we, Rene? So then we can send it out.

This is gonna— this is recorded. I'm gonna edit it, put it on YouTube. There will be one link, and I'll share the link with everybody and with Johanna, and then you can share it as well with the people connected with you. Um, so this is gonna be recorded. You can watch it all over and over and over and over again. And if you want to share it with your family, with your friends, with somebody in need, whatever, just do it. Just—

we might be able to have a look at how we can specialise this into working with children. Oh, we've got someone playing some nice music. And we might be able to look at how we can specialise this with working with children that have been through trauma or struggling with their mental health, because I think that would be really apt for this group. So we've got your email now, we're going to send you everything out as the recording. Hello! Rene is on our Connection Counts page and on social media, so please have a look and follow his work. He has a YouTube as well and he's on 24 platforms, so if you're on them, follow him. So there's going to be more stuff that we're going to be doing together, so thank you very much, Rene, for your time. On a separate note, just briefly while I've got you all in front of me, it's a nice opportunity. On the Connection Counts group on Facebook, if you're part of that, if you're not, join it, especially Natalie, if you're not on it, join it, you'll love it. It's about working— oh, brill— about working with children, young people, and families. Each month I'm doing interviews with people which are in that field. Tonight at 7:30, I'm going to be interviewing an amazing guy called Darren Howie. Darren Howie, he was in children's homes growing up, a drug addict, um, been through awful stuff in his childhood, but he's now turned his life around and he is supporting addicts, children in care. He's got an amazing, um, social entrepreneur business which is about coffee and making them coffee for business. It's just amazing. But I wanted to invite you tonight at half 7. The link's in the Connection Counts group, and because it's a story of where there's trauma, there can be hope. So it's a story of post-traumatic growth. So it's free, will be an hour, but I think it's a very inspiring story, and it fits with where you are in your work and stuff. So that's free for you tonight, but I just thought I'd tell you while you're there. So Rene Deceuninck, thank you.

I would like to thank everybody for joining us. I hope you learned something. I hope you have some tips and tricks that you will use, and please do use them because knowledge is amazing, but applied knowledge is priceless. Please use these tips and tricks and you'll see, as Tony would say, life will never be the same again. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you, Hannah, for, uh, yeah, our friendship, because we're gonna do far more than that. And yeah, make your life a masterpiece. Make sure it's worldwide. As Les Brown would say, when you're in your rocket chair at 82 and look back at your life, I do hope you get a big fat smile on your face. So that being said, Hannah, thank you again. Thank you everybody. And who knows in the future?

Pleasure. Take care everybody. The link's gonna be— I'll email the link out for you tonight as well, so you've got it that way on email. Okay, bye everyone.

Take care.

Thank you.