What's a Growth Attitude for Authentic Communication? | Session 4

Well, happy Monday! I am Dr. Stephanie Ardry, and welcome to another episode of Authentic AF. And with me is my partner in crime, Rene Deceuninck, for the fourth time.

I'll so look forward to our conversation.

Really, it's becoming a thing here, Rene.

It's becoming what?

I said it's becoming a thing. It's becoming a good thing.

Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely. I do hope people start applying a little bit what we are sharing, right?

Yeah. Yeah. How's it going for you today? How's the weather over there in good old chilly London?

Um, well, you said it as it is, really chilly and rainy and foggy and not really a, um, how shall I say, a holiday destination for the moment. But yeah, it's okay. You know, it's, uh, you get used to it. And a lot of work today, a lot of preparations. I looked into our, uh, retreat that we're gonna have in Jamaica too. A couple of things I had to adjust, which I'm looking forward to as well. For those who are now listening or watching, welcome to Jamaica in February.

Yeah, exactly, exactly, man. I can't wait. In fact, I'm gonna make sure that I put something in the comments, and the details are scrolling along the bottom of our screen. So as Renee mentioned, we're gonna keep mentioning our upcoming Sacred Union Couples Retreat in Jamaica in February. If you want to do something great to activate your relationship, you want to join us in Jamaica.

Yeah, absolutely. It's gonna be, it's gonna be a blast. I mean, I've been through so much, so much material. Also, the 3 decades of experience in this industry is, and you as well, I mean, you You're, you've been in this industry for so many years as well, so we have so much beautiful information that people, if they come and they apply it, life will never be the same again. I guarantee you that, really.

Oh my goodness, I was thinking myself, it's like I've been dreaming about things that I want to include. I mean, that's the thing is you have so many tools that you know are so beneficial, and it's like you want to give them everything. It's like we can't— I have to really sort out, okay, what are the main takeaways so that you're not overwhelmed. But talk about value, you will receive value. We will definitely, you know, under-promise and over-perform.

Yeah, especially in a relationship. I mean, the, the title of our streaming here is, is being authentic as F. And, and, but in relationships, if you're not authentic, you know, sooner or later explode— that explodes. And it's better to be authentic from the first day forward and say, hey, things are like this, things are like this. And, um, well, because what I see— I, I have a couple now that I know personally and they just start a relationship with each other, the first 3 months, you know, sunshine and moonrise and whatever, or sunrise and moonshine and roses and chocolates. And then, but after 3 months, you know, yeah, the real stuff hits the fans, right? So, but these are things we can, we can go through when we are in Jamaica, right?

So absolutely, absolutely, it's true. We have a great topic for today as well because we were talking about mindset resets, which I think is really important, and just kind of connecting the combination between not only our body language, but also, you know, our words, our facial expressions, but also the congruence between the two. I had a very interesting experience over the weekend. I was helping in a course that a colleague of mine was teaching, and it was interesting. I came in on like part 3 of her presentation to do my piece, and It was interesting because when I came in, she was kind of in a space of just like barking orders, whatever, whatever. And at first I kind of was a little startled by the tone and the response because she was like, well, do this, do this. And I said, it's already on the screen. Like, slow down. Look, it's already— you asked me to do it. It's already done, right? Calm down. And then it just kind of— I had to settle in myself. And then I noticed I took a very calm tone for my entire presentation. And it was a large group, and they kept repeating questions, kind of things that had been— and I would pause, same tone, and respond to everyone. And it was so interesting because at the end, several people came out and said to me, oh my gosh, I'm so impressed with your tone and your presence and just your calm, your patience. Like, it was clear, just shift in the whole room and deliver. Like, I, I calmed everyone down. Yeah, yeah, clear space, you know, to ask your question, and, and, and I'm not irritated in any way, so I'm able to answer it for you.

Yeah, and sometimes what you send out comes back, right?

Yeah.

If somebody is very loud and very active and very overactive and very over loud and you go into it and you go loud as well, the other one wants to go louder, and then that's not working. On the contrary, when what you send out, if you stay calm, you breathe in, you breathe out, and then you, you're like, huh, and people adapt, you know, they mirror you in the end. It's a part of body language as well, is the mirroring part, right? You mirror and you match. What you just mentioned is very interesting. If you send out calm signals and you're at ease, and somewhere along the line people will calm down too, for sure. Absolutely fully agree with that.

Yeah, it's so necessary. We, in our last conversation, added a couple, you know, elements uh, where we're seeing a few case studies and also some, um, topics. Uh, I thought the book by Carol Dweck, Mindset: The New Psychology of Success, was a good reference point for our conversation, uh, today. And one of the things that she really focuses on is talking about how having a growth mindset is so important because what it made me think about was, all right, if I wanted to follow up kind of post-event and have a recap with my colleague, how best bring to attention an awareness of, you know, did you realize, or, you know, Do you know that you landed in this particular manner? And it also, I realized though, is sometimes a person is not open for that type of feedback.

True, true. But then still, I would remain calm, remain calm, and ask questions and ask open questions so people can come up with a story and in fact talk themselves into it, and they will come up with the answer themselves. You don't have to bring the answer to the table. If you ask enough whys, um, for example, if there was a seminar and then the speaker asked a question and says, 'Lady, can I ask you a question? Why are you here?' And she says, 'Because 1, 2, 3, X, Y, Z.' And he says, 'That's interesting, and why are you here?' She says, 'I just told you, I mean, because there are—' 'Yeah, but can you really tell me why are you here?' And then after 4 or 5 times, the lady broke in pieces and she says, I am here tonight to listen to you and I hope I get the nuggets needed for me to rebuild my life because if I don't, I will commit suicide tonight. Wow. Yeah. So the guy handled it very well. She never committed suicide, by the way. But the thing is, if you ask enough questions, you go deeper, deeper, deeper, deeper into the context of the conversation by asking why, why, why, why, why. First of all, people will come up with the truth finally. And secondly, with the answer that they want to hear, they will come up with that answer themselves. So they are convinced of that answer because they came up with it and not you. It's a completely different story. So if you, if you know which questions to ask, people will come up with the answer that they expect you to give them, but they give it themselves by answering your questions. So this is a psychology that is, uh, super, super, super amazing. And when you do that with people who are loud and they don't understand you and they don't want to accept it, then okay, like, tell me why.

And yeah, that's, that's actually very good. Now, I don't know how successfully I executed my focusing on the eye look, but remember during our last conversation I told you I was going to be in Los Angeles for LA Tech Week, and I I tried to catch myself a couple times in conversations to see, but how did that go?

How did that go?

I'm, I'm curious. So I missed the big day where they were, uh, they had the outside booths. It took me a little bit later to get out of Vegas, and literally I, I arrived in California when it was over, so I didn't even go to, uh, the site. So I missed that day, although I did play golf. Um, I didn't have my out-of-the-park golf experience that I'd had last time, but I had fun nonetheless. We were a great foursome, and I found that there was two guys and then there were two of us ladies, and everyone else was much more experienced than myself. Um, so they were also— though they were patient, they held space with me, and I just kind of— I was a little tense, and I just kind of let— relaxed into it. And, and just— so I said, okay, I'm just being at peace, you know, with this. So I had fun.

Yeah, and breathing exercises help a lot if, if you're a bit tense and a bit nervous and a bit— do some breathing exercises and, you know, you calm down. Anyway, I saw Jay Shetty doing some, um, skydiving in Dubai with Will Smith, and before going into the plane, he separated himself in an empty room and did some breathing exercises where he explained why do you do breathing, why would you do it, Because when you're nervous, you have a way of breathing. When you're anxious, you have a way of breathing. When you're happy, you have a way of— whatever the state is, you have a different way of breathing. So if you can control your breathing, you can actually control your state. That's what he explained. Yeah, and that's what he said before jumping out of an airplane, because you never sat in an airplane with the door open, right? So before you sitting in that empty space before you do that, because when you, when you breathe very fast, like you're anxious, you're nervous, you're going to do skydive, the only thing that happens is that you get more anxious. So instead of doing that, you do breathing exercises in a certain way, you calm yourself down, you're in that airplane, and then when you jump, you just jump. And it was a very interesting interview. Now, yeah.

So Rene Deceuninck, we were talking earlier and you were mentioning that you're about to work with some gentlemen, high executives around their body language. And when we talk about— I guess if we were even comparing, comparing this to a part of my lead-in about, you know, how do you ensure that your audience has a growth mindset so that they're ready to receive the lessons and the guidance? Like, is there a preparation, a pre-prep before your presentation that you take your executives through, or you suggest they do to become in the space ready, or is there something that you do when you open the space to quickly get them ready to receive?

Well, the first thing I always have is a, a form they have to fill in, and then I ask them certain personal information, and then I ask them, hey, why would you attend? What is your goal after you attended? All kinds of questions. And then finally, when we meet— and most of the time those CEOs, those managers from big companies, there's always in between 8 to 12 people, no, not more than that, because I don't allow more, because I want to work interactive. Sometimes there's 40 of them, but then that's really— for me, that's the barrier, because I want to work with them, I want to speak to them, I want to, you know— and what I do is I ask personal questions, like professional questions. I ask all kinds of questions. The main thing is that I ask questions. Um, I will not tell them what to do, how to do it. I will ask them questions and they will answer the question and say, okay, let's do it. You know what I mean? So, and these questions are very, very basic. Sometimes it's a question about, hey, let's say you and your, your neighbor you are having a conversation and you want to sell, uh, let's sell the pen to your neighbor. Like, this, this, this is traditional one. You sell me the pen. And then how would you look at the person? What question would you ask that person? Um, what is your final goal? Will you sell 1 pen or 10 pens, etc., etc.? And they're like, oh, interesting. Okay, you got, you got 1 minute, go. And then you see them interacting with each other because they're both CEOs. I'm just a trainer. I'm a facilitator of content, right? But they have to work. They have to act. They have to— because there's nothing more boring than going to university, listening to a professor for 3 hours and falling asleep.

Oh my God. I was never that type of professor, by the way. So my students didn't know how to handle me because it was engaged. I made them work. We did exercises. It was an experiential course. And that's how I teach. That's how I develop, because how else are you going to— where else do you get to practice the new skills and tools that I'm introducing?

Yeah, exactly, exactly. So the main thing for to work with high-end customers is that we have normal conversations, but I ask questions, a lot of questions. And sometimes I say, hey Renee, you ask so many questions. I say, I want to, I want to make sure that after our time together that you go home with nuggets, with tools, with stuff you can apply immediately, with immediate results. And that's why I'm asking questions, because I want you to come up with the answer, not me. And sometimes I say, I say literally, I want you to discover, I want you to experience, I want you— I'm gonna facilitate it, but you have to do it. Because if I say you what to do and you go home and you don't do anything with it, what's the purpose of it? It's a waste of your time, waste of my time, and waste of your money. So I really want people to work. I don't know if that answers your question a little bit, but—

Well, you know what it is, is I think about communications because when I think about holding space, right, people communicate with people differently based upon what they have afforded, if you will, a value, I think.

True. True, true.

That if it is someone is in a leadership role, there is often a tendency to be a bit abusive in, in that role because I can just tell you to do this, or I'm expecting you to do this, or just jump and do this, you know what I'm saying? Rather than if it is they are in a communication with someone that they feel is a peer or even a superior to them.

But then I would say, yeah, then I would go back to cultivating a growth attitude, which is a title, but I will literally use that sentence as well. Cultivating a growth attitude. I would ask a question, for example, Dr. Stephanie, how would it make you feel if 1, 2, 3, XYZ? So I will address their emotional part of the brain. How would that make you feel if— got it. As a speaker in a room with a lot of people, I would ask you, how many of you would agree that if I would do this or do that, how does that make you feel? Would it make you feel like this? Would it make you feel like that? How many of you would like to respond to this? Please raise your hand and say yes. They go like, huh, what is this all about? But they start thinking. When people say, how are you doing? And say, I don't know. What is your— what is your second best question?

Well, you know what was interesting is because I just returned from traveling, I have a 16-year-old son, and my son is so funny because he never wants to walk with me. And I told him that on Saturday mornings, because that's when he's home, he has to go for a walk with me. He tries to grumble about it or whatever, whatever. So because I'm back on Sunday which Sunday is normally free day, is your rest day. But I made him come for a walk with me. And so he's like, oh, my legs are sore, you know, at gym, we just started our workout. And so he tried to give me the business, right? And so I told him, I said, you know what, you and I have been texting that we missed one another while I was away, loving each other while I was away. This is our opportunity to communicate, to hold space with one another. So you have to have a mindset shift. What I want you to think about is that you don't know how many times you get to have this time with me. You know how busy our schedules are. I'm traveling. I'm leaving again. I won't be able to have our Saturday walk coming. So we're going to treasure this time. And it was so amazing, Renee. Our walk is about an hour because we walk from home to the park and then around the park. And at first when he started, he was like, well, he was gonna run off once he— he says, well, can I run? I said, well, you can run when we get to the park. He stayed. I said, and turn off your earplugs. And he turned them off. What was so powerful is as we were walking, I talked through, you know, the whole week, all his classes. And then I was having a thought about needing some design work done. And he's a brilliant artist. But before we ended our walk, he's gotten a new assignment designing a brochure. Um, he, you know, it was like a complete state change. And basically what I said is that, sweetheart, this is not optional. My care for you requires this space for me to coach you. I cannot coach you without having communication with you. And so this is one of those windows that we get to have an hour of conversation, and we're gonna do that. Yeah.

Wow, that's amazing. That's an amazing story.

Oh my gosh. Yeah. Oh my gosh. But I felt so lifted, right? Because it was— that's what I said, it was just I had to shift and create a state change for myself And also it just, you know, made me advocate because I said when the teenager is grumbling, that could be a trigger. And that could be a trigger where then my reaction could match his reaction in, well, you have to, you know. And I was like, I'm not gonna go from that perspective. I'm gonna enroll him in my why and why I hope he would be enrolled in this why and what this up, you know. And I use the statement of, you know, a lot of people look at the glass as half full half empty, and we get to choose which way we look at it. How about we shift your mindset to looking at it as an opportunity of half full? You get to spend this opportunity of time with your mom. Your mom happens to be a brilliant leader who you admire. Your older brother Sterling, because of mom being able to coach him, you're getting that. You're in an elite academy.

Yeah, and this is a growth attitude too, isn't it?

Totally, totally, totally. And so that to me is why I say that it's just so important for us to really— this, this Authentic AF, it's something that the two of us are really passionate about, this conversation. But not just because we're passionate about it, but because we understand how living these truths on a daily basis. We all have points where we're triggered, and when you're triggered, what you have to do is acknowledge that you've been triggered and go back and clean up the communications. And you can clean up the communications, and you just authentically own your part. Don't gaslight other people. Own your part.

Yeah, true, true. Yeah, and it happens an awful lot, people ghosting you or whatever. But in terms of—

you know, there are some people that you can't, you know, say anything, they yell at you. And I think it was Sterling that made me very aware of that. As, you know, as he grew into young adulthood, he would say, you know, don't talk at me, talk with me. And so, you know, and he was— and that was because he was so used to he and I having conversations. He was a child actor, and so we would have to drive to audition, so we spent hours in a car together. In conversations. And that's what cemented the relationship that we have, because we really had a lot of real— we didn't just zone out, you know what I mean? We were connected and present to one another. I always made sure that I was present to him. Yeah. And, and I think that that's the other part in what we're talking about. Body language shows that. If you're talking to me but yet your arms are crossed or you're holding your phone I— you're not present to me. I don't feel like that communication away, or— yeah, yeah, exactly, exactly. And that's really the meat of what we're talking about. People are so distracted with devices, with whatever, whatever. It seems like we have a whole society of folks struggling with adult ADD, ADHD, you know.

True, true, true. So, and then as well, if, if you— like you say, We get distracted. For example, I ask people like, close your eyes for 2 minutes and try to focus on one thing. Some people say if you meditate, you think about nothing. The fact that you think you have to think about nothing, you're thinking, right? So this is BS. But this is— or I'm a philosopher, that's probably— I love it. But if you like focus on one thing and one thing only, and I guarantee you within 5 seconds you're going to think about something else. But when you— yeah, but when you finally know that you're thinking about something else, go back to that first thing you have to focus on. And if you dwell— if you go back to that, to a third thing or a fourth thing, come back to that first thing. But you'll be amazed how many, how many times you get distracted in 2 minutes, which is nothing, 2 minutes. It is crazy. And I did a test myself. When I meditate, I start to look to really focus on certain things. Before I know it, yeah, I have Zoom tonight. I have this, I have that. Guilty as hell, you know, but yeah, it, it happens.

I was sitting meditating and I was imagining myself on Seven Mile Beach in the grill. And I was imagining that I was doing my morning routine and I was just almost in that good space. And then of course my brain triggered back to, oh, what about this, what about this? And so it does, it does require, you know, that work and that patience. Um, after going for the walk, I, uh, do grounding as well in the grass. And, uh, I've, I've been hugging a tree. I have a little tree that I hug, and I'm finding that there's also an extra special peace with that. And this is kind of this idea of creating a space for yourself so that you can calm yourself down. Grounding does that. It allows you to connect back to source. And it seems that it really balances and it releases a lot of those toxins. Because I think a lot of times people don't realize that not only are you secreting cortisol, but all of those toxins that you're secreting when you're at a high stress level or when you're holding in anxiety, they begin to park themselves within your tissues. I was explaining to someone that part of their so-called weight gain would really change if they could just detox from all the tissues that are holding toxins, you know. And it's like, and that's part of what this whole mind, body, and soul transformation is about. Anyway, yeah, I'm with grounding.

What you just mentioned is so true with grounding. Um, today I, I never have any jet lags anymore. I travel quite a bit. Um, like for example, traveling to Australia from here is about 26 hours of flight. Flight— the journey is about 32 to 34 hours. But when you fly 26 hours and you, you arrive at your destination, you would say, oh, you must have a mega, um, jet lag. I said, no, I don't. And the reason why is the grounding. Wherever you arrive in the country, you take off your shoes and your socks and you go barefoot in the grass somewhere. And you stay there for 5 minutes, 10 minutes, and you get grounded with the ground where you are. I guarantee you jet lag will diminish for 80 to 85%. You'll be tired, that's normal, everybody would be tired, but your jet lag will disappear. And go like, oh really? I said yeah, and I learned it from somebody else and I do it today and I never have any jet lags anymore.

So, oh my goodness, that is a powerful one. Thank you so much. I didn't know that, but And you know what? I did it just because we did it when we flew to Dubai and then we flew to Saudi. It was just because once we got to water, it was like, ah, feet in the water. But wow, thank you. I'm going to add that to— I didn't know the importance of grounding. And you're right, some of those long flights are just— whoo. Very—

Last time I was in Bangkok, it was 15 hours. And first thing I did was getting grounded in where I was. And I guarantee you, I have no jet lag at all. On the contrary, an hour later we're having dinner, we're having this, we're having that. I mean, yeah, it's one way more. One thing I would like to add though is that earlier we were speaking about asking questions. And when somebody asks you, for example, which is also a growth attitude, is that how can you now grow when somebody says, I don't know? So if you would ask me a question and said, hey Rene, why do we have these meetings here? And I would say, well, I don't know. Your second question should be, suppose you would know, what would it be? Oh, a great follow-up.

Yeah.

And if you say suppose you would know, you are activating my brain to start thinking why. And I will never come up again with I don't know.

Oh, that's powerful.

Yeah, that is also a part of growing an attitude. And when people tell you, oh no, it's okay, they can, they can use negative words and say, no, I'm not interested, no, I have no time, no, I have no money, no. But it's up to you. Suppose you would have the money, what would you do? Suppose you would have the time, what would you do? Suppose you would know the answer, what would be the answer be? They'd be like, oh, hmm, didn't think about that. So you activate the brain, and I use it on a regular basis with people, especially when you do cold calling. And yeah, we don't have any time. I said, excuse me, kind of one more question. Suppose you would have the time, what would you do?

Oh, that's so valuable. Oh yeah, I love it, I love it, because that's usually, you know, people immediately shut you down. Oftentimes they start with no.

It's always the rejections that we get, and a lot of people who are in sales know that very well. They get a lot of rejections today, and, and it's up to you how you handle those rejections. If you say, oh, another no, um, I'm not in the right job— no, you don't know how to respond to a no. You don't know how to respond to a rejection. But once you start understanding how to respond in a very simple way You don't have to attack anybody. You don't have to be angry. Just say, oh wow, that's interesting. Suppose you would know, what would it be? Or suppose you would have the time, sir or ma'am, what would that be? And yeah, it works all the time. And then you have the very square people where it doesn't work. So then you leave those.

Let's say that's okay too. Absolutely. Everything is not for everybody, right? Sometimes it's okay. And I always say I learn with rejection as well. It's like, thank you. And I listen and sort it, and I take the nuggets that I can use and I discard the rest, you know. Yeah, absolutely.

And it's also— this is also a growth attitude, to accept the nos, to accept the rejections, to say, hey, thank you so much for that, maybe some other time, you have a great day, and then, you know, you move on.

The reality is that I think we all want to have our tribes, and it's so clear, especially when you were talking earlier in reference to, uh, the shake Sacred Union, the couples retreat, and we're just kind of talking about communications and the importance of communications and the fact that in a beginning of a relationship you seem like you're in this, you know, blissful honeymoon state, and then suddenly reality sets in, and that's when everything really shows up. But a lot of times people wear a mask for an extended period knowing that they can't sustain it. And, and that's where being authentic AF is so critical, because I was expressing to someone else is that there all kinds of people on this planet that have all types of desires and things that they like and share and whatever, whatever. If you can just present your truth, then people will have an opportunity to decide if that's something that they're interested in or not. True. You don't have to manipulate, you don't have to gaslight, you don't have to hold hostage people who are not supposed to be part of your tribe. So no is actually a gift.

But I did have— I did have a conversation, a conversation with Jack Canfield from Chicken Soup for the Soul. Yeah. And, um, he says in relationships there's like a pyramid, it's like the levels of consciousness. So, so the higher you go— I'm sorry, The higher you go, the less people there are. So the higher level of consciousness— it's a pyramid— the less people. However, the higher the quality of the conversations, the higher the quality of the person, the higher the quality of whatever. And then when you go down, you'll see these people in survival mode. And I think people who are in— and nothing wrong with people in survival mode because I've been there, it's been a long time, but everybody starts somewhere along the line. And, um, And, and, you know, you see people, they are in survival mode, say they have to survive. So whatever they can grab their hands on, you know, relationship, okay, no worries. You smoke, no worry. You drink, no worry. Let's, let's start a relationship. And then I'm like, wow, that's, that's, that's, you know, but the higher you go in relationships, the more people take action as well. Because if you go to lower levels of consciousness, people react upon things. So, and, and what I mean about that is that that in, in relationships, if, if, if you want to be authentic as AF— I have to watch my words here— if you want to be authentic AF, you will see that is for most of the people in higher levels of consciousness. Now, when you're in a lower level of consciousness and survival mode, can I get there too? Absolutely, everyone can get there. The question is are you ready or open to grow? Are you open to a growth attitude, which is a topic today? What— are you really open to that? And, and I started to open up myself many, many years ago. I mean, it's been 3 decades now to growth. And, and I mean, if it wasn't for me doing it, I would never be where I am today. The question is, if, if you look at people like all these famous people and speakers and, and having amazing relationships, and you go like, wow, but they're lucky. No, they're not lucky. They have a different attitude. They have a different level of consciousness, if that makes sense.

Absolutely, it totally does. But you know, you touched on two things, and of course, as usual, we're at the, the top of our, our time, and so we run into it. But I'm gonna say this as quickly as I can, but you made me think of two things. One, uh, you're right in terms of the levels of consciousness and that people in survival mode. But it made me think about— I told someone, uh, about a year or two ago when I was in Jamaica, I remember I was doing my morning 10,000 steps on Seven Mile Beach, and it became real clear to me about Maslow's hierarchy that for some reason I was always really intrigued and fascinated and kind of hanging on to the concept. And I would see myself at times sort of at you know, but working through basic needs met and then working up. And it hit me, uh, Renee, that the pyramid should be flipped because it's like we, we end up at the end working on self-actualization. And it hit me that if we started with self-actualization, everything else would take care of itself. Yeah.

And you know what as well is that it has nothing to do with money. Because I got people who are very poor in questions of money, in terms of money, but they have such a high level of consciousness.

Exactly. That's nothing to do with money. It's, it's— no, yeah, you, you'll always be well-resourced. All of your, um, needs will be met when you're on a clear intention. Anyway, oh my goodness, we have so much more that we want to talk about. Before I forget, I'm gonna post in the comments as well the link to our upcoming, uh, Sacred Union Couples Retreat in Jamaica, February of 2025. It's a small group. It'll be a small intimate group. I think we only have like 5 couples to join us. 5 couples, only 5. So, you know, hurry up and, uh, register for that. Yeah, it's gonna be outstanding.

I saw pictures and I saw the— where it's located. I'm like, wow, I can't wait.

I mean, oh my goodness, oh my goodness, it's going to be fabulous, uh, life-changing for sure. So I'm totally excited about that. In fact, I need to get some backup dates with you because, um, this weekend those 5 slots will more than— if 70,000 folks are really gonna be in attendance. You and I need to plan some more dates. I think we need to have some series of dates, some backup dates that, you know, are, you know, available. Maybe we should plan our next 3 or 4, especially if we're only doing 5 at a time, because that intimacy is so valuable. Yeah, it's gonna be—

I mean, again, I watched some pictures and I watched some videos from the region there where we're gonna be. It's— I, I'm pretty sure I'm going to take a week before and a week after to stay there, like 3, 4 weeks. I mean, yes, yes, you will.

Trust me. I mean, I— like I said, I had originally attended that period to be there for a month and a half. I was there for 3 months and didn't want to leave. That's why I'm so happy to be officially moving. That's what I attended. I'm moving, I'm moving, I'm moving. I'm gonna be there every day. That I choose to be. So, uh, yes, I'm over the moon, just full of bliss. It's a beautiful, beautiful region.

I mean, for those who are not watching or listening, I mean, you have to join us. And like you mentioned earlier, we're gonna look for some more dates so we can do it multiple times. For sure, it's gonna be— I mean, already people are talking to me, Renee, what is this all about? What is this Jamaican thing? I say, when you sign up, you'll find out.

I mean, oh yeah, okay, okay, okay. Okay. So absolutely. Absolutely. So any last thoughts before we conclude for this week? Any last, any last thoughts before we say bye?

Yeah. If you want to create a growth attitude, I think it's like cleaning the floor with, with clear water. That means that if you have a bucket and there's dirty water in it, empty that bucket first, clean the bucket, put fresh water in it, and then clean the floor. And I think it's with our brain as well. And in terms of a growth attitude for authentic communication is that start cleaning what's up in here. Start shifting your words, use different words, use different sentences instead of using the negative words like no or not or Use sentences like, yes, we are going to. And you know, when you start shifting from the negative to the positive— and I am not all positive all the time, don't worry, I'm a human being— but I do that on a daily basis. My conversations are positive conversations with yeses and, and growth. Once you start doing that shift, once you start throwing away the dirty water, put clean water in it to have a clear floor When you do that with your brain, I guarantee you your attitude for growth is going to be amazing. It's going to, you know, you're going to rock it. And that's for me a last thought, like a cleanup first. And I was, I was going to use a word, but clean up first and then, and then I think you're going to be— I had a dentist, a coach, he's a coach and a dentist at the same time, and he said brainwashing, just this one. And then I'm gonna, I'm gonna leave it. Brainwashing is in fact how you listen to it. You can brainwash and you can brainwash. And for a lot of people, when you say brainwashing, it's a negative something, right? But in fact, he says, let's say you have a can opener and you can open up your brain like that. You open up the skull, you take the brain, you wash it, you put it back, you put it back together, and now you're ready for success. You know, it's like cleaning, break— wash your brain with something completely different, and I guarantee your life will never be the same again. Absolutely.

Absolutely. So you put a nice bow on that. So everyone, we thank you so much for joining us for this weekly conversation. We call it Authentic AF, where we marry body language and mindset to help you present your best you. I'm Dr. Stephanie Ardrey, and with me is Rene Deceuninck. Deceuninck. I'm still working on it, guys, you know, so don't feel bad. You know, maybe we'll put a pronunciation key, Rene, next to yours to help people out. Why don't you? You know, Asian—

in certain Asian countries, they try to spell my name and I say, stop, just call me Bob.

To come up with something cute. So Rene, you know, since it's body language, so we have to think of something. So I'll come up with a cute something that they can use instead. Rene, boom! So until next time, it was great as always having this conversation with you. Enjoy the rest of your day, and I will see you again for another episode of Authentic AF. All right, bye!