How To Abolish The Imposter Syndrome For Good

Hey.

Hey, super coach. So in this training video here, I'm going to be sharing with you on how to overcome and move beyond that dreaded imposter syndrome. Especially when you're moving into the coaching space or when you're having a major identity shift, or maybe when you're transitioning from your current job into full time coaching. What's going to happen is that there's going to be a disparity between who you believe you are and who you need to say you are on social media. This whole idea of becoming the authority in your space, building credibility and putting yourself out there and saying, yeah, you are the expert, it can create a lot of feelings of incongruency and feelings of, you know, like this whole fake it till I make thing, it doesn't sit right with me. And I just feel like an imposter. I feel like I don't belong. I feel like, what if I get found out? Like, what if I get caught a phony? Or what if I get caught a fake? Or what if I can't answer questions that my clients ask me and I'm portraying myself as someone different who I know that maybe I'm not really there yet. And so this feeling can really make a person.

Want to give up. And it's a really hard feeling to overcome, but it's a feeling that every single coach must overcome. And how do I know this? Because not only have I helped thousands of coaches overcome this, but I had to overcome myself. When I started out in this coaching space. I was an optometrist before I started out. And I was calling myself this coach, and I this life coach. And at the time I was 33. And I'm like, who am I to become a life coach? I'm comparing myself to people who are 40 or 50 or 60. Like, I'm thinking I don't have life experience and I had major imposter syndrome, even though I had much more life experience than most people my age. But I had it because I was thinking to myself, like, who am I to do this? Who am I to coach? I mean, I don't really actually know it all and I'm just starting out, but you got to start somewhere. And then on top of that, I was an optometrist. My friends were thinking, like, what is Richmond doing? Like, putting yourself out there. And the imposter just really plagued me and it stopped me from taking action. It stopped me from feeling confident. It stopped me from really tapping into my heart and really serving. And it really stopped me from Doing the content posting and the legion and the sales and the coaching that would really make a difference and drive the needle forward. And it made me want to hide. I felt overwhelmed, I felt stressed and I just wanted to hide in my own shell. And so I know that you'll be going through this, if you haven't already, you might be going through this right now or, or you're going to go through it very, very soon. And so this training here is going to help you overcome that. And to support you best with this training, I've got five powerful questions to help you move beyond imposter syndrome. These coaching questions, I really want you to take the time to answer it because it will really change your perception of how you're feeling so you can get better results in your business. And the best way I thought to teach this was to actually give you a live example of an intervention that, that I did with my 0.1 inner circle clients. This is my top end program that my clients pay me $33,000 US for to be inside this program. And so we did a live intervention in my 0.1 program with a really generous client of mine, Grace we, who allowed me to share this training with you. She got really, really vulnerable and she tapped into some of her deepest fears. And so please, please take this with a lot of, I guess gratitude, but also sincerity and also respect because she's really wearing her on a sleeve and she's graciously allowed me and given me permission to share this intervention with you because she goes deep into her biggest fears and the biggest fears of not feeling loved and not being accepted. And so I'm going to share with you the intervention we did during my point one coaching group call. And this is what we do when people enter point one like they join my Passion to Profits program. They may have come from a 10 day challenge and, and they joined my Passion to profit program only to realize, oh my God, there's so many people here who know their stuff better than me and I feel like a bit of an imposter. They overcome that, but they take that, they take their journey like to the next level and join my inner circle. And in my inner circle we have so many successful six and seven figure coaches in the program. And for you to be surrounded by heavy hitters like that, the imposter kicks in as well. And that's what Grace was feeling when she entered this program and I helped break it down for her. And so in this intervention here, I do it alongside my business partner, Tony Kay, who's Australia's number one NLP trainer. And so we're going to show you the intervention. You're going to have your own breakthrough as well. And at the end of the intervention, I'd rather you see it for yourself, experience for yourself. And I'm going to ask you similar coaching questions that I asked Grace for you to answer so you can have the same breakthrough yourself as well. So watch the intervention, enjoy for what it's worth as well, because it will relate to you no matter where you are. And also at the end of this, please stay back, get a pen and paper out and answer the five questions that I'm going to ask you that's going to transform you and help you move out of that dreaded imposter syndrome. So here we go to the recording of the intervention.

Someone here is going to have the opportunity to work with Rich, you have the opportunity to work with me. And we're going to coach you through that thing that, you know, you need coaching on. If you're wondering what is that thing that you need coaching on today, we're going to specifically be dialing in on imposter syndrome. This is for you. If you're somebody who, you know, you struggle a little with imposter syndrome, maybe you've done NLP practitioner, or maybe you come into the practitioner with me next week and you're like, you know what? I just, I want to get this, I want to get this dealt with today. Maybe it's something that you've felt in the past, that you have dealt with. But you know what? It keeps, it keeps showing up. This isn't for somebody who is, maybe, you know, you pass imposter syndrome. You're like, you know what? I'm good. I'm happy to go out there, I'm happy to do the work, I'm happy to make it happen. And you know what? I feel awkward in situations when I'm around high quality people. But you know what? Secretly I know I belong. So this is for somebody who is really, honestly struggling with imposter syndrome on that level. And what we'll do is we'll, we'll do a full coaching intervention with you. We're going to clear all that shit and it's only for you if, you know, you want to clear that shit. I mean, sounds, sounds fair. Like if you, if you know that this is actually some shit that I've been dealing with and I'm freaking out, I'm freaking over it, I'm done. Like, whatever it is, I'm all in. So if you're all in, that's you. And what that will mean is that you'll be able to start going out there and do those things and those things that, you know you're holding yourself back on. And so I'm going to hold you to account to that as well, because how often do I say that there's two types of people on the planet. There's people who do it and the people who want to want to do it. And some of you I see right now, people. Yes, yes, yes. Like, all in. Like, hell, yes. This is what I've been waiting for.

This is it.

And we'll do the work, but then you'll go back to that old life, or you go back to those old patterns, or you go back to those old programs. And so when the opportunity arises to do this work with Rich, to do this work with me, there's no going back. And that's going to be the first question I ask, really is, hey, do you plan on going back from here? Do you plan on invoking some of those old strategies? Do you plan on running some of those old things that have kept you stuck where you are now? Or are you all in on moving forward? So, guys, that's what we've got to look forward to today. I know. Huge. It's going to be absolutely massive.

In fact.

Sa.

The strongest force in the human personality is to stay and remain consistent with who you believe you are, how you define yourself, your identity. That is the strongest force that drives every behavior, how you define yourself and who you believe you are. The strongest force is to have every action, every behavior, every belief in alignment with. With who you believe you are. And when you feel like an imposter, then this is mismatch of who I'm portraying myself with and who I believe I am. And there's that mismatch just feels so.

It keeps you up at night, you don't feel good, and it impacts every area of your life. And there's nothing worse than feeling incongruent with who you believe you are. And so the biggest decision this person is going to make is the decision to feel congruent with who they are. And so when we pick up this person for the breakthrough, they're going to have their own breakthrough moment. And it might be a vulnerable space for them, but also know that it might be your breakthrough moment, too. I'm not. I'm not just not coaching one person here. Tony's not just coaching one person here. We're going to coach the entire room here for you. So it might be very well, your breakthrough moment as well. Who's excited for that? Cool.

Cool.

All right. I suspect there's like a billion me's in the chat. So Tony's got a very hard job, an insanely difficult job because, you know, we don't have. You don't have a favorite child. But now I'm just saying I won't even go there. Oh, I'll finish the sentence. Secretly you do. Right?

So secretly, do you got your favorite. Yeah, I see some people being like, yeah, you know, hey, at this point in my life, Noah is my favorite kid. Like, I'm going to. I'm going to be there.

Bodhi is an absolute rascal.

Still makes me love it a bit, though. All right, but if I'm going to get locked in a room with one of them, I'm taking Noah and Bodie. She'll be fine. She'll come back, she'll fend for herself. This is where it's at.

I am looking for a specific type of person. And because I know all of your situations pretty intimately, I see that most people are typing me into the chat screen. Love that. And remember, we're going to not just be coaching one person, but coaching the whole room on this. And so I allowed this moment to be your moment as well.

Particularly there's a couple people that stood out to me. One of those people is.

It is you, Ms. Grace. We. Where did Grace go on my screen or where is she at? Yeah, guys, give it up for Grace. Come on, let's do it.

Oh, Grace.

Good to see you. And congratulations on your win as well. And.

My guess is had you had not had that win, you would have felt more of an imposter. Is that. Is that like a somewhat truth to that or not? Or am I just off track?

Yeah, it would be to say that, no, I wouldn't feel more like an imposter would be a lie.

But every time I try, when I get a rejection, I try to think, well, what's the lesson that I can learn from it? And then I work it on from there and there. But every time I go into a call, there's always that little bit of feeling going, well, can I do this? Can I do this? So it's also stepping into that feeling year as well.

Cool, cool. Got it. Firstly, appreciate you, Grace, for volunteering right now as well. Just to double check a couple of clarifying questions first, how long have you been feeling imposter for? Just so I can get some lay of the land here.

Okay. So I started P2P in sometime in August and been doing the work. Then I jumped into point one around September and got all excited. And then I think it was around October, out of lockdown. Then the imposter overwhelm many, many things on top. Yeah. Became very overwhelming for me. You kind of just mapped out what happened to me last year, like, totally. And to be honest with everybody, like, I became very. I'm normally quite supportive in the group and from October onwards, and I did see it as a red flag, I became very reclusive because it's more like, you know, I didn't want to celebrate other people's wins, but I had to go inwards to try and sort out my own shit. But I was struggling at the same time, even though I was getting a lot of support from other people. But I knew. I know it was something I had to do myself. Yeah.

Yep, I gotcha. Cool. So is this something you're ready, willing to change now?

Cool. I can feel that.

Cool. All right, Grace.

Tell me about.

Well, tell me about the imposter. And when I say that, I mean, how did you come to the conclusion that you're an imposter or feeling like you're an imposter? Like what happened or what string of events or what things led to that conclusion?

Initially, it was shifting from the identity of being an optometrist to now someone who is an authority in the wealth niche.

That was the first that I faced. And when it came to chat sequencing.

The meanings that I take from the chat sequencing made me question whether I really know my stuff.

Yeah, cool, Cool. And sometimes during the coaching sessions as well, like when people ask me questions and yes, they do see me as someone of authority.

There'S some questions where I can answer very easily. But then there were other questions where they'll catch me on the spot and I may not necessarily have an answer for them. Or maybe I take on the meaning, maybe it's not the answer that they are looking for. But at the same time, what goes on in my head is that I actually really don't know this. I should be looking this up. Let me go on the side and Google and. Yeah, and that made me question my. Yeah. And that made me feel like I'm an imposter because. Yeah.

I hear you. I hear. Logically it makes sense, doesn't it? So it went from being an optometrist, which is like the best job in the world. No, it's not.

I won't do any Optometry jokes. No optometry jokes.

I might sneak in one or two. We'll see. We'll see.

Did you get the joke there? Might sneak in one or two. Anyway.

That was a bad optometry joke. But only Grace understands that, which is clear. One or two? One on two. One on two. Anyway. All right, let's go. So you've gone from optometrist to now calling yourself an authority in the wealth niche. Like calling yourself an authority. And because you're calling yourself an authority, it means that if you don't know the answer to some questions that people ask you or your clients ask you and you have to Google it, then it means you're an imposter. Is that kind of where we're at? Or have I missed the mark somewhere?

Yes.

Yes. And.

Another layer of imposter syndrome, which is why I became reclusive in point one, is I did share it with a couple of some days ago, which I reframed it myself.

Is that when people post people's wins instead of becoming happy, it will trigger something inside. And then I will question whether I deserve to be in T1.

Yeah. Yep.

Because you weren't getting results as much as you like compared to other P1s. And then you thought, maybe I don't belong here. And that ties into the whole imposter as well.

Yeah, yeah.

Cool.

So, Grace, let's dig on the first part, and I want to go a little bit deeper into.

Into your definition of, well, what if you're not an imposter? Then what are you? Like, what's the opposite in your eyes?

Like.

You're real.

Real.

Cool.

Cool. Let's use that word, real. So what would need to happen? Or what expectations, or what rules, or what beliefs or what criteria would you need to have in place in order for you to feel real and not an imposter?

Just be yourself.

When you say stuff, you say what's on your mind and what's on your heart. What's in your heart.

Tell me about that. Actually, be yourself.

When you say that. What do you mean by that? You mean the person that has to get the answers right every single time? The person that actually.

No, it's acknowledging that you know you're human and that it is okay not to know everything.

And what if you pretended to know everything?

Then you're an imposter.

Interesting paradox, isn't it?

Question, Grace. What are you most afraid of if you were to be your most authentic self and be human?

Not being able to.

Handle judgment, criticism.

I do Acknowledge that people are either going to like you or not like you. And.

I fear that I won't be able to hold myself if criticism gets a bit too much.

Cool.

Guys, I'll just pause for a second here. Is anyone resonating with what Grace is sharing right now? Just give me a show of hands. Might be you in the past or it might be you right now. Cool. So.

FYI, in case you're wondering where we're at in this whole sequence, I'm still identifying. I'm still identifying right in the whole coaching session right now. So, Grace, just kind of wondering, what if you were to be your authentic self, just being you as you know it, as you are.

And.

You did get judged and you did get criticized.

What would that mean?

That would mean I'm not accepted.

Who chose that meaning for you, Grace?

I mean, inherently, it's me who chose it. I don't know why I choose to think that way.

Of all the infinite amount of meanings you could have chosen.

Yeah.

I don't know why I subconsciously took on that meaning. Yeah. Yeah.

Is it possible that that meaning is not true?

I know it's. No, that's not true.

But I am trying. It's.

On a portion. Just a portion.

It's hard for me to find that true.

Cool.

That's okay. We don't have to find the real truth.

I guess I'm exploring the possibility that that meaning might not be true. Is that a possibility? And it might mean something else?

Yes.

And if it could mean something else, like if just entertaining. If it could mean something else, what else could it mean? That if you got criticized and you got judged, what else could it mean apart from that you're not accepted?

It could mean that these people are not for me.

Great. What else? Keep on going.

And that. I don't. If they can't accept me, I don't have to accept them either.

Great.

Keep on going.

It could mean that.

There'S other people out there that would accept me.

What else? Keep on going. Let's build a list of I don't know. I'll let you know when I'm satisfied. Maybe like 118. That number came up with me.

It could mean that.

Their fear and criticism, their judgment and criticism is not on me, it's on themselves.

And it is up to me to.

Accept or reject what they have to say.

Great.

Very cool. Very cool. All right, so we won't do 118. Those are really, really solid answers there. I think five is enough for now. Let's Pause and go back to the room.

So right now, Grace has acknowledged it could mean something else. And.

Of all the meanings, of all the infinite meanings that Grace could have chosen, she. She could have chosen that it could mean that people are not for me, that if they don't accept me, then. Then I don't have to accept them, that others are out there. And you know what? It's just a. It's. If they judge me, it's because of themselves. They're just basically judging themselves. It's a reflection on them, and it's up to me to accept that or not. Or it could mean that I'm not accepted. Like all these infinite meanings that could come up with. And so you wonder. You wonder why would. Of all the infinite meanings that Grace would come up with, this all came from her subconscious. This is all her meanings. That what would make someone choose the meaning that doesn't serve them? It's crazy. Like, what would make Grace choose a meaning that if I get criticized or judged and it means that I'm not accepted, rather than saying, hey, if I get criticized or judged, then it means, hey, that's just on them. That's their projection. That has nothing to do with me. Really interesting. On what would make Grace choose this option where it doesn't serve her, but she. She chooses it, but yet the other option would serve her 10 times more, 100 times more, infinite amount times more, but yet she'd rather choose this one here. And so I'm just going to give you my perception on that. And the reason why I believe why you're choosing this Grace is because that's what, you know, it gives you a sense of certainty and a sense of connection to yourself.

And people will strive for certainty even if it doesn't serve them, because they know at least they know what they're going to get.

Actually when. Please go ahead.

No, you go. You go.

So.

When you were explaining all that to everyone else.

I just. I had a moment where I realized that I took on that meaning.

When I was growing up.

So whenever my mom was hard on me.

And I would do everything that I can to please her, and if I didn't get that response, yeah, I took on the meaning that I won't be accepted.

Yeah.

Yeah.

And even though, you know, consciously or unconscious, that that doesn't serve you, but you. You know, people just do crazy things because at least it meets their needs. And so, for example, like, if you. For example, like if you.

I'll use a fast food metaphor. I'm just going to we know that McDonald's does not make the best burgers, but if you're a creature of habit, you go to McDonald's to order a Big Mac, knowing that there's probably a better burger out there, new burger joint opens it. Most people are creatures of habits, and even though they know that there might be a new burger joint that just opened up, it's like, oh, but what if I eat it and it's not as good? You know, I don't want to take the risk, so I just rather eat a burger that I know it's the best burger for me. Does that kind of make sense? Everyone give me a hands up.

Yeah.

And so Grace.

Grace is fulfilling her need for certainty and on a deeper level, a needle connection for this because she's done it for so long. And at least she knows that if she goes there, she knows what she's going to get from it. Now, Grace, what are you certain of? If should you continue down this path of making it mean that you're not accepted and continually making that meaning and deciding that meaning, what are you certain of that would happen to you or your business?

That I'm not going to grow.

If I continue to validate other people's views or judgments or criticism, it won't be validating mine.

Right. What else are you certain of? What else are you like a thousand percent sure of? Should you continue to decide to make it mean that when you get criticized and judged that you're not accepted, what are you certain will happen? What else?

This business is not going to work.

Because.

I'll be feeding into, I'll be accepting and feeding into other people's views rather than my own.

And a business can't grow from there.

It can only grow from what I believe in or what I choose to believe in.

And if you choose to make it mean the other five meanings that you came up with any of those, what are you certain that would happen should you choose to take that path?

That I'll find.

That I'll find my audience, I'll find my tribe.

And.

My business will grow from there.

Are you sure?

Yes.

Now, Grace, for such a long time you've unconsciously chosen the meaning of I'm not accepted. If I get criticized, judged, it means I'm not accepted for such a long time. And now you know that that you're certain that continue to choose that path is not going to serve you. And now you've got the other road which is making it mean that, you know it's on them or whatever the case, may I find my tribe. And you're certain you do that path, your business will grow. Now.

It'S. I want you to think of it like this, you know.

You know, when you.

When I don't know if you've ever mowed the lawn. Have you ever mowed the lawn before?

Right? Like, the lawn is so thick and long, right? And you've got to create this new pathway to this new meaning that, you know, that you consciously decided to do. But in order to do that, you've got to mow this pathway and you've got to keep on mowing it and mowing it and mowing. And if you mow the lawn long enough, or you keep on walking out that footpath long enough, the grass gets flat on that area and then you find a path down there. Or maybe like wearing a new pair of jeans, when you put on a new pair of jeans, it's always uncomfortable. After about five or six wears, you wear into it to become your new pair of jeans. And this is what it's going to be like for you, because for such a long time, you haven't consciously decided to make it mean something that's going to serve you your truth. And the reality is, there is no truth. I know it's.

Right. Isn't it crazy? There is no truth. It's just what. It's what you decide to make it mean.

Cool.

So, Grace, where to from here?

Onwards and upwards.

Well done, Grace. Really, really proud of you. And thank you. Thank you so much because I could see the energy in the room there, and the whole room was having their shift with you in their own personal way as well. So.

I want to thank you for this and I want to thank you for making that decision to change.

Thank you as well, Richmond. I really appreciate you. I really appreciate Tony and everybody in this room. Thank you so much.

Cool.

One more time.

All right. Welcome back. So that was our intervention with Grace. And so if you know Grace or if you see on social media, if you meet her, please send her a message of love and say thank you so much for allowing us to see that and to see that vulnerable side. Because her giving us permission to share that with you, I know it's going to help transform yourself as well. So if you see her on social media, if you catch her, if you find her, please send her a message of love and appreciation, because I know it'll really make a difference for her. And she's really doing this out of generosity to help you as well. And she doesn't Even know who you are. And so please send her a message. Now, the five questions. The five questions, I'm going to show you a slide. These are the five questions that I really need you to embrace. And it may look overwhelming. Oh my God. These five questions. But if you spend the next 10, 15 minutes, 20 minutes, even half an hour at most to really answer deeply into these questions, it might only take you five minutes because you already got your transformation through the intervention I did with Grace, right? Please answer these questions with a lot of thought because this will change the whole game for you. The consequence and the reward of doing this is you're going to break free and really feel congruent with who you are and you're going to be able to display your authentic self on social media and you will attract clients because authenticity is so rare now. And that when you can display that, you will be so different from everybody else and people will start coming to you rather than you having to chase them. And that's the real definition of authority. And so question number one is this. How did you come to the conclusion to perceive yourself as an imposter? How did you come to the conclusion to perceive yourself as an imposter? So let's pause the video. Pause right now. Answer that question. Just pause. How did you come to the conclusion to perceive yourself as an imposter? What happened, like, what happened for you to come to that conclusion? Pause. 3, 2, 1. Answer it right now and don't come back until you answer it. Alright, I trust that you've paused it, you've answered the question, you've written down notes. Now we're going to go to question number two. Is it at all possible. Is it at all possible that this perception is based on some false truth? Is it at all possible that this perception is based on some false truth? Truths? Pause the video. Answer the question. Pause the video. Please just pause it. Answer the question. Is that at all possible? Like, is there any chance, any possibility that your perception of being an imposter is based on some false truths? Just pause. Three, two, one, go. All right, welcome back. I trust you've paused it. Please pause it. Answer it for yourself. This has no benefit for me. If you don't do it, it's only going to benefit you. So pause it and do it now. We're going to go. Question 3. What would you label a person that pretends to know it all? What would you label a person that pretends to know it all? What would you call that, in Grace's opinion? She said, oh, well, that's an imposter, which is a funny paradox. A person that pretends to know it all is an imposter. That was Grace's definition. But what's your definition? It might be a fake, a fraud, or something else. I don't want to put words in your mouth, but let's pause. Pause. Question number three. Answer. What would you label a person that pretends to know it? Or answer the question right now. That should only take you a couple of seconds. Three, two, one. Go and write. All right, welcome back. Question number four. What does being real and authentic mean to you? What does being real and authentic mean? Mean to you? What needs to happen in order for you to feel real? What needs to happen in order for you to feel real? Remember, ask Grace that question as well. So what does being real and authentic mean to you? And what needs to happen in order for you to feel real? Write down a list of 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 10 things. 20 things. Like what needs to happen in order for you to feel real. Let's get real clarity on this, because my illusion is. My guess is when you write down this list, you're going to realize that. That it has nothing to do with trying to know it all. And so let's pause. Answer this question. This one here will take you a little bit more time. I want you to write as many things as possible. If you need to go away for 10 minutes, pause and answer this question. Three, two, one, go. All right, we're on our last question. I trust that you've paused it on every single question. Now we're on our final question, the most important one. What small action steps can you take right now? Right now? I don't care what it is right now. I don't care if it's 2am in the morning and you're watching this or you're watching this on the bus, or you're watching this traveling or you're watching this driving. It doesn't matter. Like, wherever you are, you need to stop. What small action steps can you take right now for you to feel more real, genuine and authentic? What small action steps can you take right now?

What are you.

Some small things that you can do right now. It might be texting that person. It might be doing that vulnerable post. It might be doing that video. It might be sending out a message of love. It might be appreciating someone. It might be something within yourself. It might be just breathing. I don't know what that is for you, but what are some small action steps that you can take right now, right this minute, where you feel more real, genuine and authentic. It might be just looking in the mirror and saying, I love you, I forgive you, I'm sorry, I love you, I forgive you, I'm sorry, I love you. And just forgiving yourself, that might be a small thing, too. If you're walking past a glass window shop or you have a little mirror and you're driving and look yourself in the eye and just say something like that. Something small that you can do right now to help you feel more real, genuine and authentic. That's the end of the questions. I trust that you're going to do this exercise for you to have your own breakthrough as well. I trust that this video has been really valuable for you. And again, thank you, Grace. I know you're going to be watching this at some point for sharing your vulnerability with us and for allowing us to share this training so other coaches can have their breakthrough as well. Guys, I look forward to seeing you grow and look forward to seeing you transform in your own coaching business. And I'm sure this is not going to be the last time that we're going to have a conversation. So remember, keep believing and never settle.