"Trump BUILT Their Careers" - And This One Shift Will Build Yours...

Not if at some point he has triggered you or rolled up some emotions inside of you, then he still has power and control over you. And what that means is he's had an influence on your life, whether you like it or not. And what that really means is that he's built you to the person you are today. And the only way to relinquish control that someone has over you is to be truly grateful for the impact they've had on you, whether you like them or not. That's the only way to relieve power that someone else has over you is to be truly grateful. And so why am I sharing this and what's it got to do with you growing your coaching business? Because in this coaching space, unfortunately, it's a very saturated market and it's a very skeptical market because there's a lot of people out there scamming other people and doing unethical things and. And making promises they don't deliver on. And that leaves you with a sour taste in your mouth. And you may be triggered or be resentful to hiring a new coach because of your past experiences. And so now your past experience of other coaches have had power over you and still control you because you got current resentment. So I want to talk about three things today that's going to allow you to. To let go of all the power that other people have over you, including past coaches, so you can move forward and grow your coaching business. And I'm going to go through a framework that's going to be really powerful for you so you can get your power back. Because the moment you get your power back, no one can control you, not even Trump, not even the economy, not even who the new world leader is. No one can control you when you get your power back. And this is how you get your power back. So I want to talk about the first thing that's destroying you right now, and it's this concept here. So past resentment, past resentment will prevent future success. What do I mean by that? So if you, if you've been burnt by coaches ball and don't worry, I have to. And you carry that onto the next coach that you want to hire, or you carry that onto the next program you're going to. Or you carry on that to the next webinar you train and you're so skeptical that's going to impact your future success because you're going to be reserved and you're going to trap yourself into what I call the trauma loop. So what is the trauma loop? The trauma loop looks something like this. So you got burnt and that led you and that's. That happens to everyone. But what you made this mean will cause you to go into trauma. So you got burnt and then you decided to pull back, you became extra cautious. And so even though the person may be trustworthy that you're looking to get mentorship from, you take everything to say with a grain of salt and you start to pull back. And pulling back, what that does to you is that then you stopped trusting. For example, if you in the dating scene and you had three bad dates with some men and suddenly all men are bad or all women, insert that label or whatever the case may be and then you stop trusting because you got burnt, you pulled back, you stopped trusting. And what that led you to do was to stop taking action and that stopped momentum. And because you lost momentum, you start to lose results and you start to start to wonder whether or not this is actually for you or whether or not this coaching thing is actually for you and you should go back to your full time job and that becomes reality of the situation. Or because you got burnt, you pulled back, you stopped trusting and you stop momentum. And then that then leads you to blame the industry, too many cowboys, too many untrustworthy coaches or whatever the case may be. And once you blame the industry, here's what happens. Your whole filter of the game becomes distorted. And so then you start to believe that everyone's dodgy, everybody's sneaky, everybody can't be trusted. And so you start looking for those traits in people. And guess what happens when you start looking for those traits in people? You get burnt because it becomes a self fulfilling prophecy. Seek and you shall find. I'll give you an example. So for example, if you had a person in the workplace and let's just say her name was Mary and you believe that Mary was a bitch and you just didn't like Mary at all, you just got bad vibes for Mary and then she went up to you and gave you a compliment. Now if you believe that Mary is a insert that word and she gave you a compliment, the moment she does that, you're going to be thinking, what does she want from me? What is she trying to get from me? Is she trying to. You get suspicious because you believe she's a bitch. Now if you believe that Mary was an amazing person, a really good heart, heart centered person and she came up to you and gave you a compliment, you'd be like, oh well, because she's a good person. Now if you also believe that Mary's a good person. And she came up to you and she said something nasty. You say, oh well, Mary's just having a bad day. But if you believe that Mary wasn't a nice person and she says something nasty, you'd be like, oh well that, that, that, yeah, that's normal. Because she's just bitch anyway. And so your beliefs around that person or that event or that industry always becomes self fulfilling because you always look for ways to justify your belief. And so if you have past resentment on someone or on an industry or your past experiences with another coach where you got burnt and you don't let that go, you are going to put yourself into the trauma loop where you got burnt. You pull back, you stop trusting, you stop momentum and then you blame the industry and that allows you to get burnt again. And then you never get out of that vicious cycle. So how do we get out of this vicious cycle? Is what I said at the beginning. You must be grateful for every past experience that you've had, even if it wasn't a pleasant one because that helped you shape you to the person you are today. And you can only get stronger if you had to endure pain. You can only get bigger muscles if you had to tear the muscles from working out. You can only grow spiritually if you had to go through deep trauma. That can only happen if you do that. And so please be grateful for where you're at. And we all know that person who grows up to adulthood and didn't suffer any trauma growing up and they become spoiled. And that's not a good place to be in. So be grateful for your past resentments. That's number one. That's going to allow you to get future success. And if you have past resentments, it's going to prevent you from future success. That's step number one. The second thing that will stop you is this. It's called past judgment. What do I mean by that? So there's this thing out here called the fear of failure. And we've all failed in the past. We've all tried things that didn't work. We've all done that webinar or that masterclass or that challenge and it completely flopped or nobody showed up or one person showed up or everyone showed up but no one bought. We've all posted content that only got one view and maybe it was your mother in law that liked it. We all posted a real or a story or something that just did not work. We've all found our past, we've all done discovery calls, we've all done those things and no one bored. We've all tried to put ourselves out there and we completely failed. And because of that past failure, we judge ourselves saying that I failed instead of saying this, it failed. There's a big difference. The difference between saying I failed and it failed is attached to your identity. You are not a failure. It's very possible that that thing failed. But when you say I failed as opposed to it failed, you will lose power. And that's where your power is lost when you say I failed. And so your past judgments of your successes in the past or failures in the past will dictate whether or not you become successful in the future and how much you try moving forward. And so if you've had a bad meal and it didn't taste good, does it mean you should never eat again? No, it means that you just had a bad meal and it was a bad meal. You are not a bad meal. And that's a key difference. And so why am I sharing this? And what's it related to all this thing around having power and releasing control and having total control in your life? It means this. It means that the moment you can be truly grateful for every failure that you've had in the past, that's when you can truly move forward and continue to actually build on the next thing. Because if you aren't grateful for the values you had in the past, that means you're not seeking a lesson, you're seeking perfection. I'll say that again. If you are not grateful and you're not looking, if you're not grateful the failures that you had in the past, that means you're not seeking for a lesson, you're seeking for perfection. And if you seek for perfection, you always lose. And it's a self destructing cycle. And then you'll never progress forward because you can never achieve perfection. And you'll never try harder because you're always going to fail and you'll never meet the goal that you set for yourself. Seek the lesson, do not seek perfection. And once you seek the lesson, you will always grow and you're always going to fail anyway. But I would rather you fail now than failing later. And be grateful for everything that life is giving you. Because you don't have to do this, you get to do this. You get to do the webinar, you get to do the challenge, you get to do the vsl, you get to do the launch, you get to do the posting, you get to do the content, you get to do the YouTube channel, you get to do the podcast, you get to do all of these. That is a gift and that is a sign of grace or God or whatever you want to call it, but you get to do that. And the moment you relieve all your past judgments, you will relieve self failure and you will know that you are not a failure, that it just failed. And it's a sign that you just need to keep on going. I'm a father of three girls and there's two words that are banned in our household. Number one is I can't, or two phrases rather. And the number two is I give up. They can never say I can't and they can never say I give up. And I know that when they do that, that means it's always going to be allowing them to fail forward. And so I want to talk about the third thing that's going to give you your power back. And it's this. It's future judgments. The reason why you will self sabotage is because of future judgments. What I mean by future judgments, future judgments will self sabotage future success because future judgments are judgments that you perceive will happen or may happen if you were to put yourself out there and become successful. So we call this the future. We call this the fear of success or the fear of being seen. Oh my gosh. If I post this and it goes viral, what are my friends going to think of me? What? What's my mom going to think of me? What's my spouse going to think of it? Oh my gosh, is people going to think, oh my gosh, look at you, snooty two shoe. Look at you doing so well now? What are people going to think of me when I start doing well? What are people going to think of me when I go viral? What if people are going to think of me when I start having money and I drive a nicer car now? People are going to think, oh my gosh, you're too good for me now. What are my friends going to think? Are you going to think they're going to. You're going to leave them, they're going to start to feel insecure, Are they going to reject you? And so because of those fears of future judgments that hasn't even happened yet, you will self sabotage because the moment you be seen or become successful, you will start to pull back because you're scared that you're going to lose the thing that you currently have, in which case it's all an illusion anyway because if you don't have it now, you're not going to have it Later. And what I mean by that, I mean your relationships. I'll give you a quick story. You know, I really, truly believe that the best way to know who's really there for you is to go through adversity. But you probably already know that. And so when you go through adversity and you go through a really rough time, you find out who your true friends are. You find out who's actually there for you. You find out who's really understanding. Now, about 10 years ago, I was facing real bankruptcy where I had lost everything, my entire net worth, everything due to the property market. It was my fault for reckless investing. And I was in my early 30s, I was down to zero or negative equity actually, and I had nothing to show for it. And I remember that was the hardest time of my life. Because in the Asian culture, it's all about face and status and being successful on the outside. That's how you give your family a sense of pride. And I was a golden child in my family. I thought the first thing that would happen was that my brothers would banish me and they would reject me. In actual fact, they came with open arms and offered help. But what I was most afraid about was because I had been in a long term relationship with my wife Penny for 10 years. At that point in time, we had a one year old child and I thought I had let her down. And the moment I had lost everything and had that conversation with her, you know what she said to me? That's okay, we don't need money because we got each other. That's the moment when I knew she was truly there for me. On the flip side, when I had lost everything, I had had a couple of friends that had left me and that was really hard. But it was a gift in surprise because I didn't want to have those friends moving on later on in life when I'm 50 or 60 or 70. Anyway, why would you want those people in your life who are just there for you for material reasons or only there for you because you're successful? They're not there for you because you're actually you. And so the greatest gift I had in my life was having past adversity because I found out who my true friends were, my true relations were. But then I've also learned this. When I became, quote, unquote, successful in the world's eyes as successful, I also realized that achievement is the greatest gift that can ever happen to you as well, because you also find out who your true friends are as well. And so now on paper now that we're successful, I also know that has triggered a lot of some people that have been on the journey with me. They haven't been able to handle it. And then they're trying to pull me down saying, oh, look at you, look at you, look you. And I'm okay with that. I'm at peace with that. I'm actually very grateful that they reacted that way because then it showed me who they really were because I didn't want to get to the end and realize that they were my friends because I was a projection of where they were stuck. And so adversity. I'm so grateful for adversity because they allow me to find out who my true friends really were. But I'm also so grateful for achievement because it's also allowed me to find out who my true friends really are as well. And there'll be some people who champion you when you achieve and be there with you all the way, and they're all in with you. And there's some people that get triggered by that and they don't like it. They try to pull back or try to make you the enemy. And so either way, it's a win. And so the moment you can become grateful for future judgments and say, thank you. Thank you for judging me. Thank you for reacting that way. Thank you for behaving that way. Now I know who my true friends are and I'm true to myself. Thank you for that. Thank you for doing it now rather than later when I really needed someone and I would have been a worse situation. Thank you. You need to thank your past judgment, thank your future judgment. And most importantly, when it comes to current resentments or past resentments, be thankful for that as well. And the moment you can be truly grateful for current resentments, past resentments, past judgments, future judgments, that's when you have true total power and you claim your power back and nobody has control of you anymore. And that's when you can start living your true life and your true dreams. I trust this was valuable. If this has been useful for you, I'd love you to hit the subscribe button and watch the next video, because the next video, I'm going to go through some more things like this and subscribe to the channel. And I'm always going to be super valuable for you as well. Guys, keep believing and never settle.