Trust Your Gut: How To Make Hard Decisions

Most people are stuck not because they don't know what to do, but because they don't trust what they already know. They overthink, they overanalyze, they over self talk. And when the time actually comes to make the decision, it's often too late. And so in this video here, I'm going to show you on how to stop overthinking, how to hear your intuition again, and most importantly, how to make the hard decisions that's really going to take your life to the next level, especially in your career. If you're watching this and you're going through a transition at the moment, because this is going to be the same process that took me from being an optometrist, safe, secure, successful job where I was unfulfilled and I decided to transition into coaching. And we've built a multiple eight figure coaching business from scratch. So if you're tired of being stuck in your head, it's time to start trusting your gut again. And by the end of this video, you'll have the clarity and the confidence and the courage to make that decision that's really going to take your life to the next level. So the three biggest decisions that you'll ever need to make in your lifetime, no matter how old you are, whether you're 20, 30, 40, 60, is number one, who you select to be your spouse. That is probably the most important decision that you ever make because who you spend time with is who you become. The second most important decision you, you need to make is what is your career selection going to be? Because that's where you spend most of your time. And then the third most important decision, arguably maybe the most important of all, is your faith selection. And in this video here, I'm going to focus mostly on your career selection because I'm not going to pretend to be an expert in the spousal space or even in the faith space. But I do know what it's like to, to transition out of your current career into coaching or being an expert or being a thought leader. And so I want to go through the process first of making a decision because this will be applicable to whatever decision you're making right now in your life that's keeping you stuck. And there's a four part process that I will go through every single time when I'm making what I feel to be a big decision. The first thing is I ask myself this question here. So I think about the decision and I'll ask myself what will be the likely consequence or what will likely happen if I Make that decision. Now, there's two sides to this. So if I make the decision, what will likely happen on a positive note? If I make the decision, what will likely happen on a negative note? So I want to write both things down. So, for example, when I transition from optometry into coaching, that's a big decision for me. So I asked myself, what will likely happen if I make that leap from optometry to coaching? What are the positive things that will happen? Well, it will likely be I'll be more fulfilled that I'm pretty certain that will happen. It will likely be that I could find my first few clients in my close circle because I know some people that would benefit from life coaching. That will likely happen. Now, what else will likely happen is that I will finally be an example to my kids. Then. Okay, what will likely happen in a negative sense? Well, we might struggle for a little bit because when you start a brand new business, things might be a little bit hard to get the cash flow going. That will probably likely happen. It's probably unreasonable to expect that my business will explode in the first month and I'll be financially free. So that's probably not going to happen. The unlikely consequence that will also happen is that I might have to learn some new skills, which will mean a lot of effort and time involved in learning new skills. So the other unlikely consequence that will happen in starting a brand new business is that I will feel a lot more uncertainty because now I'm not in a safe, secure job in optometry anymore. So I would write down all the things that will likely happen that are positive, all the things that will likely happen that are negative. Now, the key word is likely because our mind, when we overthink, when we overstress, when we overanalyze, we go to the absolute worst case scenario. I'm going to go bankrupt, I'm going to lose all my friends, I'm going to become a nobody, or all these things will unlikely happen. Now, it's possible, but it's not likely. And the other side to this coin is that you may get too optimistic. I'm going to make a million dollars in the next 30 days and retire my family financially free. Well, that's possible, but it's unlikely to happen. So you want to write down the things that are likely to happen in a positive way and are likely to happen in a negative way. That's if you were to make the decision. The second part is, now you ask yourself, if I don't make the decision, if I don't make the decision, what will likely happen, both positive, both negative. So if I still stay in optometry and I don't make the decision to jump into coaching, what will likely happen in a positive sense? Well, I'll still be safe, I'll be secure. I'll have a job for the foreseeable future because there's a lot of work in optometry. Likely will happen is my parents will be still proud of me. That'll likely happen. My finances are secure. I know how much I'm getting paid next month for sure. I don't have to learn any new skills. It's comfortable. The thing that will likely happen in a negative sense is that I'll be unfulfilled. My income is capped. It'll be hard for me to earn more than what I'm doing right now. And then I'll have this ningling, ever increasing voice in my mind that will continually say, you should do it, you should do it, you should do it, you should do it, you should do it. And that will play on me again and again and again. So that will likely happen. Now, if I go to the extreme, will I go to depression and have thoughts of maybe just giving up on my life? Well, probably unlikely because optometry isn't that bad. Now the positive thing will happen if I stay in optometry is I'll be extremely fulfilled and I'll be financially free because I'll land on this rare opportunity in optometry and I'll vent this pattern that will change the world and I'll become rich for the rest of my life. That's probably not going to happen either. So I want to write down the likely things that will happen if I stay in optometry and don't make that decision. So in your case, if you're going through a transition right now, particularly in your career, and it is scary, believe me, I know. I had to give up so much of my identity and also my cultural upbringing, who told me that in order for me to be loved, I had to become a dentist, doctor, optometrist, engineer, one of those things. And when I left, I knew not only was I risking my financial future, but I was going to get judgment from my family. I knew that was going to be the case. So I know exactly how you feel. So if you're going through a transition right now, just sit down, look at this logically and write down those four areas. If I make the decision, what's the positive things that will likely happen? What are the negative things that will likely happen if I don't make the decision. What's the positive things that will likely happen? What are the negative things that will likely happen? And write it all down. In fact, if you do write it all down, I'd love to see what it is. And if you want to drop it in the comments, that would be awesome. I read all my comments. Now once you have that clear picture there, you're going to be able to see this decision logically and then you're going to feel pulled towards one direction from your gut. When you do this exercise, everything becomes clearer and that becomes the foundation of you making that decision so that you don't overthink, you don't over self talk and you don't overanalyze. Now step number two is ultra important and it's this principle here. Once you've got the logical data and you're leaning towards one decision and you know that this is going to give you the best chance of success, not a guaranteed chance, but the best chance of success, then we want to apply this principle here. And I'll share a story to really illustrate this because this watch that I'm wearing right now is a $56,000 watch. Now before you judge me, there's a reason why I bought this watch. And it's because I broke a rule that I said I'll never break. Because I'm not a watch guy. I'm not even a fancy car guy. I'm not one of those guys. I'm a very simple person. I wear the same shirt every day, same shirt to sleep, to the gym. Yes, I have 20 of these. And I wear the same shoes. I bought the same nikes, I bought 10 pairs. I just wear the same clothes every single day. I'm a very simple person. And one day, this was a couple of years ago, I was walking in the city on a date, breakfast with my wife Penny. And we had some time to burn. And we're just walking past this shop and it happened to be Hublot Watches, which is this brand right here. And at the time, my business was going okay. I had worked a lot to get it to near seven figures. And that's pretty good. And my wife said, rich, you never spoil yourself, you never spend anything on yourself. And that's true. I don't like when I succeed in business, I don't go and buy a brand new car, I don't buy a brand new watch, I don't buy brand new clothes, I don't buy branded things. It's just not me And I said, well, why would I want to watch for? I can just check the time on my phone. I don't want to watch. It's not me. It's like, look, we've got nothing to do. Let's just have a look. And so she's kind of like pushing me to just have a look. And I thought, fine, I'll go into the shop and have a look. And I was just dressed in this clothes and shorts and just very plain outfits and walked in, and you get greeted by the door person, you get greeted by the staff, and it's a fancy bougie kind of retail store. And the first thing they say is, how can I help you, sir? Is there anything you're looking for? Would you like some sparkling water or coffee or a beverage? I'm like, wow, free beverage. That's cool. So I took a sparkling water because I don't drink coffee. And I thought, this is a pretty cool experience. And I said straight up front to the lady serving me, I said, listen, I'm here. I'm window shopping. My wife just wants me to have a look. I'm not buying anything. I just want to be clear. I don't want to waste your time. That's okay, sir. We're happy. We get a lot of window shoppers. You're more than welcome to have a look and try. And some timepieces. And I'm like, okay, cool. May as well try it on. And Penny's like, just try it on. We're here. I look around, I see some nice timepieces. I try it on and you know, and kind of look at the price. And this one here is $12,000. And I tried this other one. It's $20,000. I'm thinking in my head, this is ridiculous. Who would even pay $12,000 for a watch yet alone? $20,000 for a watch. And I'm trying on. She's like, how do you like it? Yeah, it's okay. It's good, you know, like. But again, I don't really want to buy anything. And then she's like, oh, sir, you want to try this one on? And I looked at it. She saw me looking at this watch, and I. And I. And I saw it, and it looked really, really nice. It was the one I'm wearing now. And she's like, sir, would you like to try that one on? I'm like, look, again, I'm going to try it on because it looks nice, but that's all I'm going to do. And as she's putting it on me, right? She's. She's opening it. She's putting on that nice black cloth. She's got this white glove. And she explains how the watch is made. And at the back of this watch here, you can see, like it's a skeleton watch. So you can see behind it, and you can see. You can see right through. And it's made from rose gold. And she said, this is a childhood dream. Every boy's dream is a Meccano set. They see how everything works, and everything works together in unison, in perfection. And this was made from a watchmaker in Germany and to fulfill his childhood dreams and to really understand that in your life, you can build anything you want, and life is always happening for you as it means. And I'm thinking, oh, my gosh. Number one, she's great. She's a great storyteller. Number two, that's a great story. Number three, I'm sitting there wearing the watch, and it's bringing this nostalgia back to my childhood, when I used to love playing with Lego and Mechano sets and building things from scratch. And I did something I shouldn't have done. I just asked her. I just asked. I said, okay, how much is this one? And she said, It's $56,000. And I'm like. I wanted to vomit. $56,000. All right. You got to be joking. Okay, sure, no problems. But here's the closing question that she said to me as I was taking off the watch and said, thank you. She said, sir Richmond, what would need to happen in order for you to buy that watch? And I thought, wow, what a great question. What would need to happen in order for me to buy that watch? And I thought about it, and because I did not want to buy the watch, I was very against buying the watch. I told her a rule that I knew that I could never meet, so I don't need to buy the watch. And I said to her, I said, okay, this is what would need to happen. I would need to make $200,000 cash collected in my business per month for three months straight with a 70% margin. And if that happens, I'll come back and see, and I'll buy the watch. And little did she know on where we were at right now, and she's like, okay, Richmond, so do you think that's achievable for you? And I said, yeah, it's achievable. But I didn't really believe it, because at the time, we had never done three $100,000 months in a row and let alone three 200k months and they were not at 70% margin. There were some months where I do, I might hit 100k that month or 110 and the margins was 40%. Or some months I'll hit 60,000 and it might be 70% margins and the next month I'll have a lower month hitting 40,000. So it was so inconsistent. It was like maybe 110 here, 80 here, 40 here, 60 there, 90 there, one off, 120 there. And it was very jagged, very inconsistent. And so we had a near million dollar business, but it was very up and down. It wasn't like consistently 80, 90, $100,000 a month, every month. It was so volatile and I knew that it was not going to happen. And I said, if it happens in the next three months, then I'll come back and buy the watch. And there's no way it was going to happen the next three months. And I knew it. And that's why I said that rule said, oh, okay, Richmond, that's, that's, that's a great goal. Well, just to let you know, there's only 20 of these in Australia and we hold one of the last pieces. And so in three months it might be gone. And so would you like to put a down payment or a lay by on it just to hold the watch so it's secured and it's there for you in three months time should you want to buy it? And I'm like, oh, wow, okay, it was a beautiful watch. And I thought, okay, that might be a smart thing to do. How much down payment do I need to put down? And she said, will $10,000 work for you? I thought, wow, $10,000, okay, sure, I'll put down $10,000 to hold it for three months. And so I did that. $10,000 I could do and hold it for three months. And SO I put down the deposit, put down my credit card, $10,000 down. And I went out on my way to try to make a $200,000 month that first month and do it three times in a row with a 70% margin. Now, lo and behold, the first month I only hit 80,000. The second month was 60,000. The third month was maybe 105,000. I had failed miserably. And three months went by and I got a call from the shop assistant and said, hey Richmond, it's hublot calling here. Your lay by is up. It's been almost, it's been three months now. Did you hit your goal? And I said, oh, no, now I forget her name, but let's just call her Mary. And I said, mary. I actually didn't. I didn't hit my goal. Can I have my $10,000 back? And she said, oh, Richmond, I'm. I'm so sorry. We cannot give you the $10,000 back because we held the watch for you for three months. And so you either need to forfeit the $10,000 or buy the watch. And now I had to make a decision. Do I forfeit $10,000 or do I spend an extra 46 to buy the watch? What would you do? Lose 10,000 or commit the extra 46 and buy the watch? Now, it's not like I was completely broke, but it's $46,000 that was taken out of our bank account, and we would have taken out a huge chunk of our savings. So it's not like I had a bunch of money that it meant nothing. This was a significant amount. And now I'm thinking, well, I don't want to lose $10,000. And so I said, this kind of sucks. But I paid her the remaining 46, and I bought the watch. But here's the thing. I did not wear it. Now, when you buy a fancy watch like this, I didn't know this. It comes in this big, nice box, and it was in a brilliant box. It was amazing. And had this clear glass kind of window to the box, and you can see the watch there, and you can see the watch through the window, and it's a brilliant box. And I said to myself, okay, I bought it because I committed 10,000 first, and I didn't want to waste that, but I left the watch on my table, on my office table, staring at me through the glass window. I could see the watch in there. And I said to myself, I will not wear that watch until I hit 200,000 times three with a 70% margin, because that's the rule I set for myself. And I committed to that rule. And I remember when I had that watch there on my desk, it was staring at me every single day. And I hated the fact that it was staring at me. I hated the fact that now I just blew $56,000 and I could not wear the watch because I created this rule in my mind that I had to meet to wear the watch. It just had to be justified. And the fact that it was there and I had already committed to the watch and had expense it, and I needed to be able to meet the rule to wear it, the craziest thing happened. I kid you not, that next month we did 200,000 with a 70% margin. Was it a fluke? I wasn't sure. The second month we did it again, over 200,000 with a 70% Margin. And then the third month we hit 200,000 cash collected with a 70% Margin. 200, 200, 200. And then 90 days later, I opened up that box and I put on the watch and I wore it with pride. Because I learned an important lesson that I want to impart on you. And you might want to write this down, that creativity follows commitment all the time. Creativity follows commitment all the time. What does that mean? The only way you can get what you want and create the life you want is if you commit to it first. And quite often we don't make decisions because we just don't know on how to execute that decision. How do I do it? How do I get leads? How do I get clients? What's my offer? I'm not even sure my niche. How do I market myself? How do I do a video? How do I do an event? How do I run a challenge? All these things we get caught up that we don't know how to do. And so we don't make the decision. And so we don't create a way because we haven't committed first. But what I've learned is that creativity always follows commitment. And you can only become a creator if you commit to the decision first. Really think about it this way. You've had situations in your life where you're starving, you're at home and you think you have no food, but then you open up the fridge and there's noodles from last night and there's some half eaten vegetables and you open your pantry and there's half open pack of pasta and there's this dried shrimp. And now suddenly you're like, oh my gosh, I'm starving. And you put something together because you created a way because you committed to making a meal because you were starving. Creativity always follows commitment. And the way to make that decision and commit to it in your life right now is to do two things. Number one, once you've done those four questions and now you're logically okay, what will likely happen? You know that, okay, this is where I need to steer towards publicly declare that decision. When I say publicly, you need to tell someone, whether it's online through a Facebook Live or a story, or just posting online, or just telling your spouse or your kids or your friend, tell someone. Someone needs to know. That holds external accountability, but it makes the decision Real. The second thing you want to be doing is putting your money where your mouth is, because true commitment comes from actually putting money down on that decision. Now, I'm not saying putting 1,000, 10,000, $100,000 on it. I'm saying putting something whether it is a dollar or $10 or $100, and that could be towards that first step of making that decision. Maybe buying that book, maybe getting the subscription to Audible, maybe buying that $97 course that you thought you might be buying, maybe buying that $997,000 course that you wanted to do, maybe committing to a new outfit and. But you need to put some money down to represent the actual commitment that you told to someone, because now it becomes real. Because the money is a signal to your unconscious mind that this is the decision you want to make. And the moment you do that, watch, the creativity come through. And I only created a way in my business to do 200k months, 3 months straight is because I committed to that watch and I committed to my rule. And because I committed, I figured out a way. But there was no way I could figure out a way if I wasn't committed. And when I didn't have the watch staring at me, the reason why we didn't make it is because I just wasn't committed. I just didn't figure out a way, even believe it was possible. So the moment you do that, everything changes. I want to give you the third piece of advice to help you get unstuck and help you make a decision. And it's a principle of action precedes clarity. Let me present to you another story that really will take this home, because after this story, you will feel empowered, clear, confident, and have the courage to make the decision that you need to make. So when I started my coaching business nine years ago, my very first mentor was Scott Harris. Scott Harris is the 2IC of Tony Robbins. You may know who he is. He's spoken on many big stages. He. He was my first mentor. And he said to me, rich men. So you want to become a life coach? And I said, yes. Who are you going to coach? Who are you going to coach? And I said, I want to become a life coach for everyone. And he's like, everyone? And I said, yeah, everyone, because I can help everyone. He said, richmond, that's not a niche. And I said, but I can help everyone. And he said, you need to niche down, because if you do not niche down, you're going to stay broke. And I kind of knew that logically, but emotionally, I felt so much anxiety towards it. And she said, richmond, you must niche down. And it really pushed me to niche down, niche down, niche down, niche down. To the point where I felt the pressure of having to niche down when I didn't want to. And I was very resistant to his advice. But something really strange happened. You know how sometimes in the shower or at the gym, or in the middle of the night, you wake up and you have this aha moment. You have this idea. And that happened to me in the middle of the night. I woke up because I was thinking to myself, well, who am I going to niche down to? I was so afraid to make a decision on who I wanted to serve, and I wanted to serve everyone. And in the middle of that, it came to me and I realized who I needed to serve and who I wanted to serve. I wanted to become a life coach for the elderly. Why the elderly? Because when I was an optometrist, I was an optometrist for 10 years. I had done over 20,000 eye tests in those 10 years. Now, out of the 20,000 eye tests, 15,000 of them were done with what I deem as elderly patients. So people over the age of 55, because that's where most of them had eye problems, whether it was cataracts, glaucoma, presbyopia, glasses, myopia. Most people that I saw, 75% of them were, were over the age of 55. The average patient age I saw was about 63 to 64. And after you've done 15,000 eye tests with a 63 or 64 year old, you become really good at building rapport with them. And I actually really like the elderly. I got along with them so well. They love me. I think I was really good at listening to them and hearing them and just really understanding them. And quite often we do a 30 minute eye test. And the eye test could be complete in about 12, 15 minutes. But then the other 15 minutes, they tell me about their life, they'll tell me about their kids, they tell me about their career, what they regretted, what they're doing now, giving me some life advice. And I just really love that conversation. And so I had so much data collection on the elderly as well. And so when I left optometry, I felt like it was such a big waste to leave a career that was serving me so well. And, and I felt like I was leaving a chapter that I was never coming back to. And when I had that epiphany in the middle of night that I'm meant to coach the elderly. It all made sense. On how it all tied in together. I felt like that was a sign from the universe. It was God or faith or karma giving me this direction here. And he said, wow, the last 10 years had not gone to waste. Everything you've done with the elderly has led you to this moment right now to become the life coach for the elderly. And. And it was a massive blue ocean because there was no life coach to the elderly. And I came back to Scott Harris the next day, and I said, scott, I found my niche. I'm meant to coach the elderly. And he's like, wow, how did you come with that conclusion? I said, well, because I used to be an optometrist. And I told him the story, and he's like, wow, that's amazing. I'm glad you found your niche. Now, Scott said at the time he recommended, this was nine years ago, that when you start your coaching business, you should take on 10 pro bono clients, and you should test them out, build some experience, get some testimonials. And as you do that, you kind of, you know, find your way, and it's a very smart thing to do. And I said, great, I'm going to take my first 10 pro bono clients, and they're all going to be elderly. And he said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Richmond, I don't think you should do that. And I said, what do you mean? Scott? He's pushing me to niche down. I found my niche. I found my calling. It felt so right and aligned, and. And he told me, no, no, no, hang on a sec. You should hold your horses. Don't rush into it. Maybe you should take two or three out of the ten that are elderly. And the rest, maybe you should take it. Your age, your race, your industry, people more like you. You know what I mean? And I said, no, I don't know what you mean. I found my niche. It is my calling, and this is what I want to do. And. And I pushed back a little bit, but I was also angry because he's the one that told me to niche down, and I found something perfect for me, and he's telling me to hold my horses. And so then I reluctantly listened to him because I thought to myself, okay, well, number one, why get a coach if you don't listen to a coach? Number two, why would Scott want to steer me down the wrong path? There was no benefit for him to give me advice that doesn't serve me. There's no benefit for him. And so I listened to him reluctantly, and I took on two pro bono clients, not 10 that were. One was a 63 year old, another was a 67 year old. The rest was a mix of different professions, people my age, a bit younger, my race, that kind of stuff. And after coaching pro bono, the elderly for Life Coaching for six sessions each. @ the end of it, I realized that I hated coaching the elderly. It was dreadful. Now, no offense, if you're the elderly, I'm a business coach now and I coach all spectrums and I love coaching the elderly. But as a life coach, it was different. It was like trying to move a parked car. And I just struggled to build rapport. I struggled to have connection, I struggled to make it fun. And it was a dreadful experience, probably for them as well, but especially for me. And the other eight that I coached, I loved and I enjoyed it so much and it was so much fun. And here I am thinking, my gosh, I had thought that God had gifted me this niche. And it felt so right and it felt so real and it was so aligned with me about coaching the elderly. And it felt like it was my purpose only to find out that when I actually coached them, it wasn't for me and the opposite was for me. And here's what I learned. And I want you to write this down. That action precedes clarity all the time. Here I am thinking I'm going to get clear by trying to have it feeling perfect for me without realizing that the only way for me to get clear is to take action on it first and test out the decision. Because that's where clarity is found. And why am I sharing this? It's because if you're considering on your niche or just changing careers or, or something around your profession right now, and you've done these questions here, and you understand that creativity follows commitment. Your next job is just to take action on it. Because if it feels 100% aligned to you, that's awesome. You're probably more likely to take action. But do not fall into the illusion that that's going to be the right decision that you end up with. Because the moment you take action, you may feel that actually this is not so right at all. The opposite is also true. It may not feel fully aligned. It may feel like a disconnect. It may not feel like this is your gut calling or your spiritual calling or God giving this to you. It may not feel fully connected, but you won't actually know until you take action on it. And then you realize, actually this is a thing for you. So my final advice is for you is just to take action, because action precedes clarity all the time. I trust this video was super useful for you. And if it was, I have more videos on this, particularly the one about five things to say to yourself every single morning that's going to allow you to win your day. Guys, keep believing and never.