Why Mean People are Rich (And Why Kind People Are Poor)

Have you ever wondered or noticed how some of the meanest, most arrogant people on the planet seem to be the ones flying the private jets, running billion dollar companies? And yet some of the kindest, most generous people you know are the ones constantly struggling to get ahead. Now, before you think I'm saying that you need to be a jerk to get rich, I'm not. But there's a hidden reason why mean people win in business and has nothing to do with you being cruel. You. It has everything to do with boundaries, self worth and emotional control. See, most nice people confuse kindness with compliance. They say yes when they should say no and they avoid conflict and they undercharge and they over give. And then they wonder why people with the sharp elbows keep winning. So in this video here, I'm going to break down exactly why mean people are rich, why kind people are poor, and how you can stay kind but never ever be broke again. First principle I want to talk about is this. It is lead, not please. What does that mean? It means this. So in the context of your coaching business or your expert business, and when you're actually coaching your clients and helping them get a result, you need to have accountability in your coaching program. That is one of the key features that AI can never ever replace. And so why is accountability important? It may sound so boring and simple, but. But the reason is simple. When you have accountability, two things happen. I recently got a personal trainer because I was training Andy to try to get a six pack. When I was training him, I didn't want to be embarrassed. And so I've been going to the gym for over 25 years. Consistently at least two days a week, up to five days a week, every single week for the last 25 years. I know how to train at the gym, I know how to exercise, I know how to lift weights and, and I've kept my physique and maintained it for a very long amount of time. However, just recently I just got a personal trainer because I wanted to take my physique to the next level. Now, was it because I don't know how to do it myself? No, it's because when I have my personal trainer here, shout out to Andrew, my personal trainer, for example, if I'm having leg day and I'm doing squats, two things happen when I have a personal trainer there holding me accountable. If I Normally go for 10 reps, well, guess what, this round with my personal trainer there, I'm going to go for 12 reps. So the first thing that happens with accountability is that you Always do more. Now, the second thing is, with those 12 reps, I will also do them better because he's going to make me get down lower, hold it for three seconds, and then push back up. And so with personal accountability, you always do more and you always do better. So every single coaching program must have accountability. But accountability only works if the coach is bold enough and courageous enough to not be mean, but to be firm and hold them accountable to a high standard. How many times have you had a personal trainer or someone in your life where they are just there and just not really getting you to do the extra rep or pushing you to go harder, or saying, you know what? You've got three more in you when you think you don't. And they say you do, and they push, push, push, and you push and you push and you push and push. And at the end of it, you hate your personal trainer, but at the same time, you love them at the same time because they were mean. And it's those personal trainers get paid the most. And it's the one that I want to pay. Like, I'm not going to pay my personal trainer to get there to have a light session, even though I don't look forward to the session and the session. Sometimes I cannot walk for days and I'm so sore. And I remember one time he pushed me so hard that I was so sore that I had to take pain medications to go to sleep because I could not sl. But I love him for it because no one else is willing to go that far than he is. And that's why I will always pay him. And that's why he will always become more successful than every other personal trainer, because he's holding me to a higher standard. But what it means is he cannot be nice. He can be really firm with me, but come from a loving space because he wants the best for me. That's the first principle. Why mean people are rich? Because they lead. They don't please. I'll give you another example, and this is in parenting. I have three beautiful girls. Love them to bits. And there are times where you have to say no to your kids. My youngest one, Carter, she's extremely defiant. This morning she said, daddy, can I have a lolly for breakfast? A lolly for breakfast? Are you kidding me? Now I love her to bits. I'll do anything for her, but she's not having a lolly for breakfast. She was about to chuck a tantrum, and I put my foot down and I said, no. Why not? Because I'm mean. But because no means love.

You see, most people think yes means love. Quite often no is a more powerful way of showing love to the people you care about because you do not want them to do things that are not good for them. But if you keep on saying yes and becoming a yes person, then you are going to stay broken and no one's going to respect you yet alone want to pay for your services. That's principle number one. Lead not please. The second principle I want to talk about is this friend zoning. You got to stop friend zoning. This is not the trinity, keep them keen kind of thing in the dating context. I haven't dated for over 20 years. I've been married to Penny for 21 years now. What I mean is this. It means that you need to stop people pleasing and telling people what they want to hear versus what they need to hear. This is ultra important because people are not going to pay you money for coaching if you're just telling them what they want to hear because they can find out what they want to hear from their friends from ChatGPT, which always tells you what you want to hear. Don't you notice it? It's so nice and amicable and. And friendly to you. It never really challenges you that much. It tells you everything you want to hear. But you don't want that in a coach. You want to be told what you need to hear. I'll give you an example. I used to be an optometrist for 10 years before I became a coach. And when I was an optometrist, we used to test eyes, which is clearer? 102, 102, 102. And at the end of it, after we're showing them what clear vision looks like, we then prescribe glasses or contact lenses or some therapy to help them see better. The key word is we prescribe. We don't say, hey, what do you think? What do you think is best for you? We don't beg for them to tell us what to do. We prescribe. And that means that I see my patients not as friends, but as my patients. And you cannot friend zone your clients. You must prescribe. Prescribing means prescribed. You tell them what they need because the reality is they need you. They came to you with a problem, a problem that you solved, even if you're one chapter ahead. You solved the problem. You have the solution. They have the problem. Who is in control here? You are. Which means prescribe. Don't try to convince them. Don't try to seek the approval. Do not be needy Just prescribe and stop feeling friend zoning. Be courageous enough to tell them exactly what they need to hear. Let me give you another example. Sometimes, sometimes if you've got a friend and your friend is, for example, gaining a bit of weight.

Now, you might not want to tell your friend that they're getting a bit chubby or they're getting a bit fat or they're gaining a few extra pounds because you don't want to offend them. But a real friend will tell the truth. Now, the other day, the other day, like, I'm not overweight, but I'm the heaviest I've ever been in my life right now. And I had my shirt off the other day and I'm walking and my belly was hanging out a little bit. I'm being vulnerable here. And Penny just looked at me and said, oh my God, babe, you got to do something about that. And she meant it from a place of love. Because Penny's not my friend, she's my wife and she loves me and she cares for me. And when she said that, I'm like, yes, you're right, I am going to go lose weight and get fit again, even though I'm really fit already. But I just kind of just haven't been in my routine. I don't want to make any excuses, but the point is when you friend zone, you don't make money. People don't pay for friends, they pay for coaches, they pay for mentors that pay for people who prescribe them the thing that they need to do and pay for coaches that lead not. Please. That's the second principle. Third principle, why mean people are rich and why kind people stay broke is this. You need to let them hate you. You need to let people hate you. What does it mean now we're transitioning from the next level of friend zoning is this. Not everybody's going to like you and not everybody should like you. And what I mean this from a marketing context. So many brand new coaches, even experienced, they are so afraid to market themselves in a way that's congruent to their own personal message because of the fear of hate.

I have been in so many situations where I've been blessed enough to fly private jets with Myron golden, to be in very high end masterminds, speak on the world's biggest stages. And also sometimes I drive in my Porsche and I bought a very expensive watch recently and I posted about it and I post those things not to show off. I post these things because I came from nothing. I post those things because I see myself as the rocky and the people's champion who grew up in a migrant family, who grew up broke, and I really made something for myself. And as an optometrist, transition to coach and had to learn everything. And I see myself as that. That person that had to learn this and had to fight hard for my future. And when I post these things, it's. I'm just proud of myself. And I want to inspire other people that they can have that life too. But I know that there are people that hate me posting that, and they get triggered and they think I'm being all showy and they're like, well, look at him now. He's too good for us. And I get that. And I've lost friends from that saying, oh, Richmond, you're not the same anymore. Well, I am the same because I'm the same guy that loves my family, that loves my clients, that loves my life. And I am just so committed to having a better life. And I want to inspire people, but they don't see it that way. And I'm okay with that. I'm okay with the hates. I'm okay with not having everyone love my journey. And if I have to hold back because of their judgment, then I'm not being my most congruent self. But more importantly, I'm not allowing the other people who need to see the inspiration to be lifted as well. And so if you don't learn to love the hate, you are going to stay broke. I'm not saying to be mean. Polarizing does not mean being polarizing does not mean being mean. Polarizing means being clear. And that's a big difference. And too many people are afraid to be clear because they're afraid of the hate that comes with it. And they put their marketing out there. It's too nice. And. And they are no one to no one. What does that mean? It means that their message is just wishy washy and they don't want to offend anyone and everyone thinks they're okay, but no one either loves them or hates them. And your job is to create 100 raving fans. Not a thousand, not a million, but 100 raving fans. In order to create raving fans, you must also equally, by the opposite theory of that and the law, yin and yang of everything has two sides, is that you're also going to get some hate. But it's the raving fans that will make you rich and the haters that will give you more attention and so you don't even lose anyway. But if you want to be nice. If you want to be kind and not offend the boat and not offend anyone. And I'm not saying to intentionally offend people, but if you want to be like that, then, then you will stay broke because you will not get raving fans. Raving fans are the people that stay with you forever and they spend money with you and they keep on spending money with you. I'll give you one more example, okay? You need to be okay with excluding everybody else and just having one clear message. So if you've been to a restaurant before and you know already if the restaurant is good or bad, not by Google reviews, not by how many people in there. If you see the menu and there's only less than 10 things on the menu. How many times have you been to a restaurant and there's pages and pages and pages and they sell everything. For example, like in the Asian cuisine, there's Vietnamese restaurants, there's Malaysian restaurants, there's Chinese restaurants, there's Indonesian restaurants, there's Japanese restaurants, there's Korean restaurants. Have you ever been to a restaurant? I've been there where they have everything. They have Japanese food, Vietnamese food, Chinese food, Malaysian food. It's got everything. And you're like, what is this? You already know that's a terrible restaurant because they don't want to be polarizing. They don't want to exclude everyone. They want to try to be everyone for everyone and then ends up being poor quality. And that restaurant nobody loves and doesn't create raving fans. I've never seen a raving fan person love a restaurant that sells everything to everyone, but I have seen a raving fan to a restaurant that only sells one thing. How many times have you been to a restaurant that only actually sells one thing and they're the master of one thing, like an acai bowl or the Vietnamese banh mi or just pho or just burgers like that. Just still the one thing. And they're the best at it. And that's again in some people say, oh, you're being polarizing. No, you're being clear. I'll say it one more time. Polarizing does not mean polarizing does not mean being mean. It means being clear. And being clear makes you more money. Being clear makes you really rich. That's why mean people are rich and that's why kind people stay poor. And so if you want to make more money in your coaching business, lead not, please stop friend zoning and love the hate. Hope this video was useful. If it was, just catch the next video because I'm going to talk about how you can grow your coaching business and really monetize this and become full time guys. Keep believing and never settle.