In this solo episode of the Stan Sher Podcast, host Rob Anderson introduces the concept of “buddy checks,” a habit rooted in military practice that involves regularly checking on others’ physical and emotional well‑being. He frames the practice using Maslow’s hierarchy, emphasizing that love and belonging are fundamental needs that support resilience and self‑worth. Anderson cites positive‑psychology research showing that performing empathetic acts of kindness improves the mood and emotional regulation of the giver as well as the receiver. He provides concrete steps: scrolling through contacts, selecting a coworker, neighbor, or friend, sending a brief, genuine message or call, and scheduling recurring check‑ins in a calendar (Outlook, Google Calendar). He warns against treating these as tasks and instead views them as personal connections. A TikTok anecdote illustrates the real‑world impact—an elderly neighbor was found after a listener’s buddy check prompted a rescue. Anderson urges listeners to normalize checking in not only during crises but also to celebrate wins or simply show care, urging an action plan before the weekend. He promotes a forthcoming downloadable checklist on StanSureCoaching.com, invites listeners to like, subscribe, share, and follow his TikTok channel, and closes with a hopeful wish for a wonderful day.
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Hey, welcome back to the Stan Sher Podcast, where we talk about resilience, growth, And the small actions that make a big difference. My name is Rob Anderson, and today I want to talk about something very simple, but yet it's powerful, and it's called the buddy check. Now, you may have heard that term in the military world, and if you've listened to my other podcast, One Dive at a Time, which is focused on scuba diving for veterans, we talk about buddy checks all the time. But in the military, it's a core habit. Before, after, during each mission, after every patrol, and even just throughout the day. One of the core habits is we check on each other. And it's not just physically, but it's also mentally. It's, it's emotionally. It's about never letting someone drift too far without someone noticing. But here's the truth: you don't need to wear a uniform to do a buddy check. And in today's world, where we have things like loneliness, disconnection, and silent struggles, those things are at an all-time high. So buddy checks are something that we really need to be doing. Psychologically, humans are wired for connection. You look at things like Maslow's hierarchy of needs. And, you know, Maslow places love and belonging right above the basics of survival. Now, the basics of survival— food, fire, water, shelter. Maslow places love and belonging right above those basics. You see, belonging isn't a luxury. It's a requirement for emotional health. When someone feels seen and valued, their sense of self-worth increases. They become more resilient, more engaged. They're more likely to reach out for help when they need it. But here's where it gets really interesting. Buddy checks don't just help the person on the receiving end. They also help the person Who is instigating the buddy check? So you go out and you do a buddy check, and I've got a I've got a formula that I do with these. I'm going to create a downloadable buddy check checklist that I'll wind up putting out on my website, StanSureCoaching.com. I'll do that here in the next couple of weeks. But check this out. Research in positive psychology shows that performing acts of kindness, especially when they're driven by empathy, they boost our own mood and our own emotional regulation. When we check in on someone, we feel more connected. We feel more powerful. It reinforces that we also matter. It also reinforces that we have value to offer. And when we make it a habit, whether it's weekly, biweekly, whatever works, we are rewiring our brains to live in a more community-driven, emotionally intelligent way. So what does a buddy check look like? In your world. It's really simple. Scroll through your contacts. Think about a coworker. Maybe they've been a little bit quieter than usual. Think about a neighbor. Maybe you haven't seen them as much recently. An old friend who suddenly stopped posting online or texting you. Shoot them a message. Give them a call. Just send out something, you know, hey, I'm thinking about you. Hey, how are you holding up? It doesn't have to be deep. It just has to be real. Something that I do, just because my schedule gets so busy and I don't want important people to fall off that, is I schedule it. So you can go into Outlook or or Google Calendar, whatever tool that you happen to use, and you can schedule it. Put 1 or 2 names on your calendar for every week. Here's the key: don't think of them as a project. Don't think of them as a to-do list that you have to check off. They're not tasks, they're a person. Sometimes that simple act of reaching out Is the spark that pulls them out of the dark. Now, what's interesting is over on my TikTok page, Stan Sher Coaching, I posted up a very quick monologue on buddy checks, and one of the individuals that looks at those TikToks responded and said that he hadn't seen a neighbor out in quite a while. Come to find out, and she was an elderly neighbor, come to find out she had actually fallen over and had been there for a couple of days. So you never know that by going up and knocking on a door or texting someone or reaching out, giving them a quick call, you never know what you're going to find. And on that note, while we're at it, I don't want you to wait Until there's a crisis. Buddy checks aren't just for bad days, they're for any day. Check in to celebrate a win, check in to say thanks, check in just because you haven't heard from them in a while. Let's stop living like we're alone in this. Going back to Maslow, you know, we were not designed to be alone. And if we can normalize checking in, Not just for support, but for building community, we build something much stronger than ourselves. And honestly, it doesn't have to be perfect words. You just need the courage to take a moment and care out loud. So right now, or maybe even by the weekend, Set yourself an action plan. Go find someone to reach out to, whether it's a message, it's a voice note, it's a walk around the block together. Just check in. And who knows? I mean, you might brighten their day, or in some cases, you could save their life. And don't be surprised that. After you've done that, that you feel better as well. I'm hoping that this episode hit home for you, and I really want to encourage you, before the weekend, set up at least one buddy check. Put them on your calendar. Start checking in on them every week, every 2 weeks, Whatever that cadence looks like. Reach out, let other people know that you care. And again, I guarantee it's going to make you feel so much better. Hey, if this podcast hits home, do me a couple of favors. Make sure you like it. Make sure that you subscribe and make sure that you share. You can also look at resources that I'm putting together over on stanshurecoaching.com, as well as come check me out over on TikTok under Stan Shure Coaching. That's all I've got for this episode. I hope that you have an incredibly wonderful day.
