Episode 89: Discovering Your Calling in Life
29 Aug 2026 · 24 min
In this solo coaching podcast, Rob Anderson shares a three‑word framework—affinity, ability, opportunity—to help listeners uncover their life calling. He opens by contrasting success in a role that isn’t a true calling with the feeling of an inner pull, then outlines his own three life chapters (military service, 25 years of corporate leadership development, and current full‑time coaching). Anderson explains each component of the framework, using his founding of Neptune Warrior (a veteran‑focused scuba program) as a concrete example of how affinity (a problem that won’t let go), ability (scuba instruction expertise), and opportunity (a need in Idaho) intersected. He stresses that calling often evolves, may be small‑scale, and is best discovered with external perspective, positioning coaching as the catalyst for clarity and action. Listeners are guided to a journaling exercise—three columns for affinity, ability, and opportunity—to surface patterns, and are invited to book a discovery call via his website. The episode ends with a call to rate, share, and explore his coaching services.
Chapters
Hey, you can spend your entire life being successful at something that you were never called to do in the first place. You can make the money, build a career, take care of responsibilities, become that person that everybody counts on, and still have that nagging thought that there has to be more than this. And that doesn't necessarily mean that you need to quit your job, It doesn't mean that you need to blow up your entire life and start over. It just might mean that you spent so much time doing what you can do that you stopped asking yourself what you've been called to do. I'm gonna say it one more time. It just might mean that you spent so much time doing what you can do That you stopped asking what you're called to do. And there is a huge difference. And today I want to give you a framework for figuring that out. And it's 3 words: affinity, ability, opportunity. And those 3, when put together and when they intersect and where they intersect, You might begin to discover your calling. Hey, welcome to the Stand Sure Coaching Podcast. I'm Rob Anderson, and I think of my life in 3 chapters. The first one, my service in the military and some of the most challenging environments of my entire life. The second chapter, 25 years of designing and delivering leadership development in both Fortune 500 and mid-sized companies. And now Now, I'm in my 3rd chapter as a full-time life and leadership coach where I help people who feel stuck to rediscover who they are, transform how they live, and move forward with purpose. And that's what this podcast is all about. Welcome to Stan Schur Coaching. You know, around here, not really interested in Having you simply collect more information, but really the purpose of this podcast is about transformation. Because knowing doesn't automatically change your life. Doing something with that and doing something with that, you know, doing something with that information is all part of that transformation process. You know, following your calling in life. Isn't necessarily about discovering the one perfect job, the one perfect career, or the one giant mission that suddenly makes everything— it just, everything just comes together. It just makes sense. Calling is often something that unfolds over time. It develops you. And it begins to develop itself as you better understand who you are, what matters to you, what you're capable of, and where you can make a meaningful contribution. And sometimes your calling changes as you move through different seasons of life. I know for me, it, you know, one chapter would open up, another chapter would close, or maybe a chapter would close, another chapter would open up. Right? And you might be going through that too. You know, what, what you were called to do 10 years ago may have prepared you for what you're being called to today. I know that I see that in evidence of my life from Adventure IQ. And as I continue the mission with Neptune Warrior and I move into this other chapter, as I look at my career with the organizations I worked with, they all prepared me for where I'm today. And that's why discovering your calling requires more than just asking, what should I do? It requires asking deeper questions. Who am I becoming? What matters enough to me that I'm willing to pursue it, that I'm willing to invest in it? What strengths have I been given or developed? What experiences have helped shape me? All that, all that comes together, you know, where, you know, a big part is where can all of that make a difference? Your calling isn't necessarily somewhere out there waiting to be found. There may already be evidence of it all throughout your life. And the challenge is slowing down long enough to recognize the patterns, understand what they mean. And to slow down and decide whether you're willing to follow where they lead. Before we really get into this, here's what I want you to do. I don't— please, if there's a podcast that you are dialed into, this is the one. Don't, don't listen to this episode passively. As we walk through those 3 areas of affinity, ability, and opportunity, start thinking about your own life. Where are you at right now? What keeps pulling you? What are you uniquely equipped to do? And where's there, where's there an opportunity that maybe you've been overlooking? And then I want you to stay with me until the end, because I'm going to explain why discovering your calling can be difficult to do by yourself, how coaching can help you to uncover what's already there, and how you and I can work together if you're ready to pursue your calling. So let's get started. That very first part, affinity. You see, affinity is what draws you. It's what you naturally care about. It's It's the problem you can't seem to ignore. I know that when I was starting Neptune Warrior, mine was I was tired of having people that I know take themselves out, commit suicide— veterans. And it was more than just the suicide component of it. It was the just not living from their heart component of it. That's why I founded Neptune Warrior. For you, That problem that you can't seem to ignore is, it's going to look different. It's the conversation that makes you sit forward in your chair. It's what you could easily talk about for an hour and suddenly realize that maybe 2, 3, 4 hours have passed. Affinity isn't necessarily something you're good at yet. And that's important because sometimes we're attracted to something long before we've developed the ability to do it and to do it well. You know, if you've got your journal with you, and I encourage that a lot when you're listening to this podcast, a few things that you may just want to write down: what is consistently getting your attention? What kind of work gives you energy? Maybe throw this in there. What problems bother you enough? Maybe they piss you off enough. Maybe they— maybe there's a cringe in your heart. It's a thing you can't get out of your mind. But what bothers you enough that you want to do something about it? I know when I was looking at Neptune, it's like, would I even care about doing it if nobody applauded, you know, if nobody gave me praise for it? You know, those questions start uncovering affinity because calling often leaves clues. And one of those clues Is what is consistently pulling you, what's tugging at your heart, what's on your mind, what draws your attention. But just having affinity alone isn't calling, and that's where ability comes in. What are you actually equipped to do? Where's your skills, your talents, your knowledge? Your strengths. Man, I'm a big believer in CliftonStrengths. That's one of the things I like about the One Year Transformation is that you take a CliftonStrengths assessment with that. But your knowledge, your experience, your education, relationships that you have out there already, resources. And the one that people, for some reason, I don't know, when I coach with my clients around calling, They forget about their life experience. What, what is it that they've lived through? What have they had to learn through the school of hard knocks, doing things the hard way? Whether— what have they had to overcome? What have they had to do that they spent years figuring out that maybe somebody else is just now starting to face? Your ability isn't limited to what's written on your resume, by the way. Some of your greatest abilities may have been developed through experiences that you never would have voluntarily chosen. I mean, think about it. When people are like, man, I would never want to live that part of my life again, man, you just might be helping somebody else out. I mean, look backward for a moment. Look at the different chapters of your life. The wins, the losses, the victories, the failures, the jobs, the relationships, the mistakes, the transitions. Think about what you've built. Think about what you've tried to build. Think about what you've lost. Think about what you've had to rebuild. And there just might be a pattern there. And sometimes somebody outside of us can see that pattern much more clearly than what we can. And we're going to come back to that, by the way, because we need to move on to affinity. What pulls you? Ability. I said, so we're going to move on to affinity. We're going to move on to opportunity. But looking back, we have affinity, the thing that pulls you, the thing that draws you. Ability, what you're equipped to do. And then that third piece, it's It's opportunity. This is where calling gets practical, because you can love doing something, you can be incredibly good at doing it, but is there somewhere for you to actually use it? Just very quickly, when I was, when I was putting Neptune Warrior together— Neptune Warrior is an organization here in Idaho That helps veterans with PTSD, with both seen and unseen wounds, grow through, through scuba diving. I would tell you straight up, had to go create the opportunity because it is not here in Idaho. This is not the world's diving destination, but I was drawn to it. I had the ability. I've been a scuba instructor for about 25 years at the— or 20 years when I formed it. But I had to look for the opportunities and the opportunities actually, they actually came, which was really cool. Again, because if you're called to it, those opportunities are going to be there. It's where those 3 things intersect. And it's not so much because of our geographical location, it's because there was a need. Again, you can be incredibly good at doing something. But is there somewhere for you to actually use it? Is there a need? Is there a person you could serve? Is there an organization that needs you and needs what you bring? Maybe you create the organization like I did in my case, because there wasn't anything. Is there a problem that you can help solve? Maybe a business that you could create, a nonprofit you could create. A community that you could create or a community that you could serve. Maybe it's someone or a family that could be strengthened, a team that could be led. Opportunity is where what is inside of you needs something outside of you. I'm gonna say that again. Write this down. Opportunity is where what is inside of you Meets something outside of you. And this is where I think people sometimes misunderstand calling. They think their calling has to be huge, has to be enormous, has to be a big splash. It has to become a nonprofit or a movement or a company, a ministry, a completely different career. And it doesn't. Your calling might show up in a way that you lead your family. It might show up in how you mentor someone. It could be a side gig or a side business, side hustle. It might change how you lead at work. It might eventually become a completely different career. Calling isn't defined by its size. It's defined by its alignment. Now, when we put those 3 together, again, affinity— what draws me— ability— what am I equipped to do— and opportunity— where can I put it to work? And somewhere in that intersection, you may begin to see your calling. But here's where things start to get difficult. We are not always the best people to evaluate our own lives because we're just too close to this stuff. We carry assumptions about ourselves. We carry doubts about ourselves. We discount the things that come naturally to us because we assume they're easy for everybody, and they're not. We carry expectations from our parents, our employers, our spouses, our friends, the culture, the people we hang out with. And sometimes our own outdated definition of success. And we can become so accustomed to playing a particular role that we stop questioning whether that role still fits in who we're becoming. Man, I see this in people who are trying to start side gigs or entrepreneurship, and they've been in the corporate world so long, or a lot of cases they've been in the military so long that there's a structure that they can't start to think like entrepreneurs. I see this with people who want to start nonprofits because it's been so structured. We get so used to playing that role that we just stop asking whether that role even still fits us. And that's one of the reasons coaching can be so valuable. So as a coach, if you work with me, I'll tell you straight up, I'm not there to hand you your calling. I can't tell you what your calling is, and I shouldn't. That's not coaching. My job is to create the environment and to create that space, to create those conversations where you can discover it through questions, reflection, Challenges, awareness, accountability, and sometimes simply having a conversation with somebody who's not emotionally attached to the answer. Straight up, when you work with me, one of the things that we're going to explore is your strengths. Not simply what you're good at, but the patterns of thinking, feeling, behaving, how they naturally show up when you're operating at your best. We're going to look at those strengths and where those strengths have already shown up throughout your life. We'll look at how you've used them and used them successfully. We'll look at where you may be underusing them, maybe even overusing them, or simply not even recognizing them at all. Because understanding your strengths can give you another important piece of the calling puzzle. Your strengths help answer that question of how you're uniquely wired to pursue what matters to you. And would be when you start connecting those strengths with your affinity And your abilities and the opportunities around you, you can start developing a much clearer picture of where you may be called to go next. As a coach, I'm straight up, I'm, I'm going to ask you the questions that you've been avoiding, and I'm going to help you notice the pattern that you keep overlooking. and challenge the assumption that you treat it like a fact for 5, 10, 15, 20 years, maybe more. And once you begin identifying your direction, coaching becomes equally important in helping you to pursue it. Because clarity without action doesn't create transformation. Once you know where you want to go, you still got to move. And that means decisions. It means creating or changing habits, creating or setting boundaries, having accountability, doing some small experiments. Sometimes it means failure. And honestly, failure isn't failure. Failure is just more data. I'll say it again, failure is more data. Making adjustments, then another step forward. You, you don't have to have your entire life figured out before you move. You just need enough clarity to take the next right step. So here's something I want you to do after this episode, and I hate giving assignments on the episodes, right? But sometimes it's good. Just take a piece of paper or go in your journal and create 3 columns. Write affinity over the first, ability over the second, and opportunity over the third. Then start writing. Don't try to make it perfect. I don't even care if this— I don't care if what you put in those columns is the right definition. Don't try to make it perfect. Just get it out of your head and onto paper. What draws you? What are you equipped to do? Where's there a need or an opportunity for you? Then look across those 3 columns. Look at the intersections. Look for the patterns. Look at the possibilities. If it doesn't come to you right away, that's why I'm here, is I help you with that. By the way, this is an exercise you and I would do together. I'm not expecting you to walk away with a perfectly written purpose statement. But what I, what I would do is if you get to that point and you're really starting to think about it, and if you're sitting there thinking, I know that there's something more, but I can't quite put my finger on it, that's exactly the kind of conversation that coaching is designed for. You don't need me to tell you what to do with your life. You need a place where you can think it out loud, challenge some assumptions, uncover what's important, and discover your strengths. And then you get to decide what you're going to do next. Because when we work together, we're going to explore affinity. We're going to identify your abilities and experiences that you've developed. We're going to uncover your strengths and look how you're naturally wired to operate. And we're going to look at the opportunities that may already exist or how you create those opportunities. And then we're going to begin connecting all those pieces so you can move from simply wondering about your calling to actually pursuing it. That's the work I do. And I'm excited. I mean, I would be totally excited. You know, we go through a discovery call, we talk about it. If it's a good alignment, let's move forward. If it's not, hey, I'll tell you it's not a good alignment, or maybe even make a recommendation for another coach. But if you're ready to explore those 3 areas, book a discovery call with me and we'll have a conversation about where you are, where you believe that you may be headed, and whether working together even makes sense. Because your calling probably isn't going to arrive one morning with a flashing sign, big neon letters. Telling you exactly what to do. Sometimes you discover it by paying attention to what's already been there all along, what draws you, what you're equipped to do, what you're actually wired for, and where you're needed. Affinity, ability, opportunity. Give me a call. Go out to the website, stanstewartcoaching.com. Book a discovery call. Let's have a chat and find out where they intersect and talk through gaining that courage to move. Hey, if today's episode helped you think differently, do me a quick favor. Give it A 5-star rating on Apple Podcasts or whatever app that you are using to listen to the show. Share this episode with a friend. And if you're ready to go beyond listening and it's a real transformation, visit me out on stansherwoodcoaching.com to explore my current offerings. Would love to just book a discovery call with you and see how we can work together.
