Episode 72: You Don’t Have a Time Management Problem

Can you believe it's been a year since we started this journey? Man, it seems just like yesterday I was launching this podcast talking about burning the boats. I had just gotten doged and I started Stan Shur Coaching and the Stan Shur Coaching Podcast. Hey, I'm Rob Anderson and I'm so happy to be— continue to be On here with you. You know, most people think they have a time management problem and they don't. What they have is an energy management problem. You know, you can go out, you can buy another planner, download another productivity app, color code your calendar, stack your routines down to the minute. But y'all, if If your tank is empty, none of it works for long. Eventually, brain fog kicks in. Your patience, if it doesn't shorten, it goes to nothing. Your focus begins to slip. And the things that matter most start getting just— Pushed aside. Whatever energy is left over. And sometimes it's not a lot. You know, you've been there. I've been there. I love working with my clients who are there. But that's what we're talking about today. This episode is for the person who feels exhausted even when they're technically doing everything right. It's, it's for that person trying to stay sharp, trying to stay sharp at work. They come home, they're emotionally unavailable. They keep pushing harder. They're thinking discipline alone is going to solve the burnout. Hey, by the end of this episode, I want you to start looking at your performance Through a completely different lens. Not just how you manage your hours, but how you manage your energy. And I'm going to talk about how you can do that with me at the end. Again, I'm Rob Anderson. I'm the guy who started StandSure Coaching. For over 2 decades, I worked in leadership development and high-performance environments. And for years, I've coached people through stress, transition, burnout, rebuilding their confidence, rebuilding their focus. And one thing keeps showing up over and over again. High performers rarely crash because they ran out of time. They crash because they ignored the warning signs that their energy system Was already depleted. I want you to think about it. We've all been taught to measure productivity by output. How much did you get done? How many meetings? How many emails? How many tasks get checked off? But your nervous system, honestly, it doesn't care about your task list. And your body's keeping score. You can override exhaustion for a little bit. You can do it for a little while. And a lot of us do. And, and you find these substitutes— caffeine, adrenaline, obligation, responsibility, pressure— but eventually your brain starts operating in survival mode. Instead of executive function. Survival mode, that goes back into the older, older parts of our brain. Fight, flight, freeze. Your brain starts operating in survival mode instead of executive function. You become reactive instead of intentional. And for a lot, that's where lack of patience or you get short-tempered. Instead of being patient, you get frustrated. Instead of being patient, you become numb. Instead of being engaged— and the dangerous part, the really, really dangerous part is we normalize it. I mean, even, even as a society. And And it's kind of got its badge of courage. You know, people say things like, you know, it is what it is, or, hey, I'm adulting. I'm just in the grind. There's like a badge of courage for doing that. That's not— man, that's not healthy. It's not healthy for you physically. It's not healthy for you mentally. It's not healthy for your relationships. Chronic depletion is not a badge of honor. And you know, this is where, you know, as a coach and someone who loves studying neuroscience, this is where it really gets interesting. Your brain has limited Cognitive bandwidth. I'm going to say that again. I want you to hear me on this. Your brain and everything it encompasses, your brain has limited cognitive bandwidth. When energy drops, what begins to happen is the prefrontal cortex, that's the part that's responsible for decision-making, emotional regulation, focus. Strategic thinking. Y'all, it starts losing efficiency. Meanwhile, the brain shifts towards more reactive survival-based patterns. What that means is that, yeah, you're tired, but now you've got, you know, that, that low energy. Low energy makes you tired, but not only, not only does it make you tired, it changes the quality of your thinking. And if you're making important decisions while mentally exhausted, emotionally drained, constantly overstimulated, y'all, you're not operating at your actual At the capabilities that are possible. You're operating from depletion. You see, that's why some people feel like they've lost themselves, that they've just been running on fumes for so long that they can't access the version of themselves that's calm, that's focused, that's creative. That's fully present. So let's make it practical. I want to share with you 3 areas where energy management changes everything. First of all, your work. Most people schedule based on availability instead of performance capacity. They give their best hours away reacting to emails, sitting in meetings, Doing shallow administrative work. Then they try to tackle strategic thinking or they try to tackle hard creative work when their brain is already drained. And this goes for those of you who, maybe you're entrepreneurs, maybe you're someone who is a— maybe you're a stay-at-home wife. And the best hours get— maybe it's not emails. Maybe it's not sitting in meetings. Maybe it's not shallow work. But think about what else are you giving away your best hours to? And then try to be creative. What I want to invite you to do, and this is something that when I work with my clients, we actually look for this. Even people who don't feel like they don't have a lot of control over their schedule, But we work to find their highest energy window during the day. You know, for some people it's early morning, others it's late evening. Some people hit a strong mental stride after they get out and they walk, they take a walk or they exercise, do laps at the pool, do video yoga, whatever it happens to be, right? Sometimes it's the time of day. And wherever that— here's the hard part— wherever that window exists, protect it. I know for me, one of my most creative times is like right before the lunch hour. Now, I get up early. I'm usually working on stuff by 5:30, 6:00 AM. But I also know that my best hours, my most creative hours, hit probably around 10:30, 11:30 in the morning. I'm out here right now. I'm doing a podcast. I know my brain is in creative mode. So I turn on the recorder, I open up my journal, look at some notes. And I protect that time. That's the time I don't work with clients. That's the time that I try to stay away from doing emails. I block away that time. I go find someplace to sit down. And that's where the creative work starts. I protect that window. And I want to invite you to do the same thing. You want to use that time for deep work. Maybe that's the time where you have the hard conversations. You, you do creative thinking, you do problem solving, you do planning. I have a client that, that she does her grocery shop planning or her shopping planning right after she finishes doing a swim workout because that's when she has high energy. And then you use those lower energy periods for routine tasks. You know, things that don't require your full cognitive power. I know cognitively, man, right after a long day, somewhere around 6, 7 o'clock in the evening, that's when I'm going to go fire up the lawnmower because it doesn't take my brain a lot of time to do that. Or that's the time I'm going to go clean the pool. Maybe that's the time where if I, you know, once I have the shopping list, I'll go to the store. Use those low-energy periods for those tasks that are just routine. And what I found is in both myself and my clients is that one shift alone can completely change your effectiveness. Number two, let's talk about relationships. And y'all, this one matters more than people realize. Different interactions affect your nervous system differently. Some conversations energize you; some drain you; some create tension before they even happen. I know for my wife and I, man, I love, love, love, love sitting down with her for coffee. Or going out on a very intentional dinner, not just because we're hungry, not because there's nothing in the pantry, but actually taking time and sitting down and having those conversations because they get us going. They energize us. There's other conversations that we have, we know that they're going to drain us. And we know there's going to be conversations that create tension. And if you never give yourself time to reset after emotionally draining interactions, you carry that emotional residue into every room afterwards. It just weighs on you. It weighs you down. Even if you don't wear it on your sleeve, man, it's right there on your heart. I've had emotionally draining conversations with And I mean, I'll admit this as a coach. I have conversations that drain me. And that's okay because that's what I get paid to do. I get paid to take that on. I get paid to be that lightning rod for my clients at times or that, you know, that person is just going to listen to them. And yeah, it's draining, but that's my job. It's my job to have that relationship with them. But man, afterwards, I don't want to have— go have a heavy conversation with my wife. That's a good time for me to go mow the lawn. That's a good time for me to clean out the Jeep. Because I don't want to be in a situation where I snap at the people I love or that I disconnect from them emotionally. Or maybe I'm physically present, but I'm just completely checked out. And think about your own situations. A lot of us don't realize that we can be overstimulated. They just think that we're irritated. But underneath it, what's happening is the system is on overload. Sometimes the healthiest thing that you can do is build intentional recovery moments into your day. I've talked about this on another podcast. When I pull up to my house, I will take 5 minutes to sit outside. Not because I'm dreading going inside. I cannot wait to see my wife. That's one of the things I look forward to. I cannot wait to go see my wife. But I also want to be the best person walking through that door. Because when I walk through that door, my dog's going to come up, say hi to me. My wife's going to give me a kiss, welcoming me home. Maybe there's people at the house. I, you know, I don't want to be in a bad state when I walk through that door. So I just spend 5 minutes. If it's been an extremely tough day, there's a park I pull off at and I'll spend 15 minutes there. But just 5 minutes, maybe, maybe taking a short walk, breathing, listen to some music. No phone for 15 minutes. No TikTok, no scrolling, no checking messages. And you're not doing it because you're a weakling. But because you're recalibrating the nervous system so you can show up better for the people that are around you. Number 3, personal growth. And this is where people usually try to force discipline instead of understanding the patterns. I just finished teaching a 10-week course, a 10-week course that is all about self-development, communication transparency, creating collaborative environments. Spent 10 weeks with 8 people doing group coaching with them, doing individual coaching with them, teaching the courses. And one of the things that I talked about over and over again Is that it's not about pushing harder, and it's not about getting more motivation. It's not about more willpower. A lot of times it's about the physiological, not motivational. So all throughout This, you know, the 10 weeks, I've asked them to start tracking their energy level just for a few days. Not time, but energy. You know, when do you feel sharp? When do you feel restless? When do you crash? What foods affect you? Because, man, if, you know, if there's something that you're eating and you feel really groggy afterwards, don't eat it. If you eat something or drink something that makes you jumpy and jittery, don't drink it. What environments drain you? What habits restore you? And what happens is they started noticing patterns. And, and something one of them pointed out, one of my coachees pointed out, is that sometimes the answer isn't some massive life overhaul. It's getting better sleep, drinking more water, Being less overstimulated, getting out and moving around. You know, right now, man, it's the sun's out today and it's beautiful. I'm sitting here, I'm sitting here on a picnic bench doing the podcast, getting a little bit of sunlight. Maybe it's setting boundaries. Maybe it's less doom scrolling. Just more time for recovery. Small adjustments often outperform brute force. And I think this is especially important for those of us who are raised believing that their value comes from constant output. I talked to a lot of men that this is what their belief is. And the thing is, it's not just instilled into them as Kids and in teenagers and in young men. It stays with you throughout your corporate career, in your marriage, in your relationships, in the volunteer activities. It's all about constant, you know, what can you provide? But then eventually you realize something, and sometimes it comes harder to others. And it's that you never recover and your effectiveness declines everywhere. Man, I just went through this a few months ago because I was pushing, I was grinding, trying to get a business going, trying to run a nonprofit, trying to do all these other things. And what I found was I was losing my effectiveness. And if this is happening to you, I can tell you right now, here's things that are going to happen. Your leadership declines. And I'm not talking about being a leader at work. How about in the home? Even if, like, you're a single mom or single dad, or even if you're on your own, you're just single, but your leadership declines, your patience declines. Uh, we start, you know, getting very impatient with people and, and situations. Your creativity declines, your health, your relationships, all those decline. You can't continuously empty yourself and expect peak performance to last forever. Even elite athletes understand recovery is part of performance. Yet emotionally and mentally, there's a lot of us that never recover. We just keep pushing. And if I can leave you with one thought today, It's this: rest is not the opposite of performance. I can't tell you how many times I have felt guilty for grabbing my small day pack, getting in the Jeep, heading up to the woods, throwing out a hammock between 2 trees. I can't tell you how guilty I feel about that. When I think back at the house, man, I've got to mow the lawn. I've got a fence to repair. I got plants I need to put in. I got a pool to put up. I got a garage I need to clean out. We feel guilty about that. Rest is not the opposite of performance. Recovery is a key factor of performance. Sometimes the strongest thing that you can do is stop treating yourself like a machine and start understanding yourself like a human being with rhythms, limits, Needs recovery cycles. So just a quick reflection for you today. At what point in your day do you feel the most energized? I want you to write that down. I want you to put it in your journals. I want you to think about that. And then the second part of that is how are you currently using that time? Go straight up. If your best energy is constantly being spent on distractions, shallow tasks, managing chaos, you may not actually have a productivity problem at all. You may simply be mismanaging your energy. And that's something that you can start changing right now. Hey, if this episode resonated with you, This is exactly the kind of work that I do with my coachees. I work with them on performance, confidence, stress, burnout, transition, emotional resilience, building a healthier way to lead and live without running yourself into the ground. If you're tired of surviving on pressure and adrenaline and want to start operating with more clarity, with more focus, I want you to reach out. Just reach out once. Come out for a discovery call. Let's talk. Let's see if it's a good fit. I'd really like to have those conversations with you and see where we can move from here. Go out to www.stanshurecoaching.com. Book a discovery call. Let's get something going. Stop working on just time management. Work on energy management. All right, that's all I have for this episode. I hope to talk to you soon.