Cialdini outlines the universal social rule of reciprocity — people feel obligated to return favors — and shows how businesses can leverage this by providing value first (information, advice, small benefits) to encourage later customer commitment.
People say yes to those who have given to them first because of a rule that exists in all human cultures that says we are obligated to give back to others who have first given to us. If you invite me to one of your parties, I have to invite you to one of mine. There's nobody twisting my arm. There's a social norm that requires it of me. If you remember my birthday with a gift, I have to remember yours with a gift. And if you do me a favor, I owe you a favor. And I'll say very simply, in the context of obligation, people say yes to those they owe. Can you see the implication of this for your business? It means that you have to invest in the people you want to invest in you. That's how the rule works. You don't have to twist any arms. There's a rule that was installed in those people from childhood that says you must not take without giving in return. So it means we have to go first. We have to provide benefits, services, and advantages to people first before they sign the contract with us. This isn't the usual exchange sequence where we say, you sign a contract, you purchase our services and products, and we promise we will give you the very best products and services available. No, this rule says that's asking them to go first. You go first. You give them information that they didn't have. You give them knowledge that helps them make a decision about their wealth, circumstance, about their retirement without any commitment to that. They sign with you first, and they will stand ready to sign with you afterwards. Let me give you an example. And by the way, there's a reason why this rule exists in every human culture. There's not a single society on Earth that fails to train its members from childhood in this rule that says you must not take without giving return to those who have benefited. You.
