Robert Cialdini explains the social rule of reciprocation — the culturally universal obligation to return favors or comparable behaviors — and applies it to leadership: to gain influence, leaders should first ask whom they can help, because people tend to support those to whom they owe favors. The clip presents the rule, concrete social examples (invitations, gifts, favors), and a direct recommendation for leaders.
One of the first that we learn as citizens of our culture. It's the principle of reciprocation, the one that says, I am obligated to give back to you the form of behavior that you first give to me. If you invite me to a party, I should invite you to one of mine. Remember my birthday with a gift. I should remember yours with a gift. And if you do me a favor, I owe you a favor. And what I learned is that, very simply, people say yes to those they owe. They just say yes to those they owe. Every member of every human culture has been trained to play by this rule. You must not take without giving in return. So the implication for a leader seems to me clear. If you wish to be more influential, let's say you go into a room and you want to be influence the people in that room to move in concert with a program or an initiative or an idea or proposal that you have, the first question you should ask is not who can help me here? The first question is, whom can I help here? Whose business circumstances can I advance? Whose outcomes, business outcomes can I elevate? Because by virtue of this rule, those people will now want to advance your circumstances and your outcomes.
