A Secret I’ve Never Shared (About Shame)
Rob Moore shares two stories of shame that drove major life changes: being mocked for his weight at 12, which led him to lose three stone in eight weeks, and depending on his girlfriend financially, which motivated him to build a property business and turn £50,000 debt into millions.
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A secret I've never shared about shame. This actually happened when I was 12 years old. Now I have two stories I want to tell you about shame. If you've ever felt shame, or you're feeling stuck, or you're not where you want to be, or you're trying to figure things out, or things aren't going your way, you need to watch this. I'll keep it short, but I need to explain the role of shame in your life and how it's the greatest gift. But maybe you don't know it yet, and maybe you're trying to avoid it and you're trying to hide from it. So when I was 12 years old, I went on a skiing trip, and I wore this really large ski jacket, and I was the largest kid there, the fattest kid there, let's just say how it is. And everyone was taking the piss out of me, that Michelin Man, you know, like I'd been pumped up. And that whole week on the skiing trip away from home, away from my mum, age 12, I think it might have been the first time I ever went away without my parents, I felt a huge amount of shame and loneliness. But I've been fat for 3 or 4 years and always felt a bit like an outsider and never done anything about it. And I don't know if you can relate to having something wrong in your life and it being painful but not painful enough, and you haven't done anything about it. But the problem is 10 years can go by and nothing changes, and your life is a lot worse. So anyway, at the end of this ski trip, we had this fancy dress kind of like competition. And we all had to get up in fancy dress, have a little party dinner, and then we all had to come and stand up on the stage at the end and explain what and why we dressed up as we did. And I dressed up as a woman in kind of like lingerie. What the fuck was I thinking? The fattest kid on the ski trip. Ski trip, the fattest kid in my year, and I decided to dress up as some kind of tart. Anyway, so I went up on the stage and I had these hold-ups on and this like bra, and my belly was hanging out. I'm sorry to put that image in your head. And when I got up, everybody mocked me. They mocked me, they laughed at me, they sniggered, and I was stood there in front of anyone— everyone. and I felt the, the most— well, probably equally the most shame I've ever, ever felt in my life. At 12 years old, 1,000 miles away from my mum. And do you know what I did immediately when I landed home? I forced my mum and dad to change school so I could disown everyone I knew. And meet a new group of people, and in the school holidays I lost 3 stone in 8 weeks. I basically ate nothing, drunk Diet Coke only, and lost all my weight in 8 weeks. Why? Because the shame was so painful, I actually did something about it. And the problem for most people is you're running away from shame. You're not facing your fears and facing your demons. You're running away from them, or you're distracting your shame with alcohol, with addictions, with devices, with work. You're avoiding feeling the pain. I was talking to Andrew Tate just last weekend. I know he's not everyone's cup of tea, but he's doing pretty well. And he said when he was in prison, you could not distract yourself from your deepest, darkest thoughts. He said to me that, you know, he's addicted to his iPhone like everyone else, and when you're in the real world and you feel shame or pain, you pick up your device, you pick up some kind of vice or device, and you distract yourself. And he said when he was in prison with no devices and no distractions, only his thoughts, he had to sit in his thoughts. He couldn't run away. From his pain and his shame. And I think when you sit in your pain and shame and you really feel it, then it can create motivation for you to be, do, and have all these things in your life that you said you wanted. And my final story around this— by the way, give me a yes in the comments if you can relate to any of this. Give me a yes in the comments if maybe you're living a bit comfortably where your fear is There your task is. Are you facing your fears and demons, or are you hiding and distracting yourself away from them? Because everything you want is on the other side of the shame and the pain and the fear. But you're repeating this pattern and running away from it. Because I did too. I was fat for years before I did anything about it. I was broke for years before I did anything about it. So my final story is that, um, my ex-girlfriend— this was like nearly 20 years ago— I was broke and she was doing well in her life, and she had to pay for everything for us. Every dinner, every trip, everything she paid for. And I felt such huge shame. I hated it. I didn't feel like a man. I felt like a loser. But, you know, I wanted to be with her. I think she knew I wasn't a man. I don't think she found that attractive in me, that I, you know, I, I depended on her. I depended on my parents and I depended on her. And by the way, I'm in my 20s here, I'm not in my teens. And the shame built and built and built and built. And when we split up, I said to myself, number one, I'm going to be successful to show you what you're missing. But actually, the real driver was I wanted to pay her all the money back that she'd given me. Now, she never loaned it to me. She never said, oh, I'm keeping a check on all this money that I'm spending. You know, she came from a nice place, but I couldn't help how I felt because I felt such shame. I felt like I was a loser, that I was failing, because there was more to me. I had more to give. So anyway, I started my business. I went from 50 grand in debt, I earned 100 grand clear in the first year. I bought 20 properties in year 1 with other people's money, 30 properties in year 2 with other people's money. I became a millionaire age 31, a deca-millionaire age 35. I stopped counting after that. 340 rental units, quarter of a billion in sales. And once I'd made a bit of money, I actually wrote a check— I think it was about 6 grand— and I posted it to my ex-girlfriend. And I know it was more than she'd spent on us in our entire relationship. She bloody cashed it as well, I'm telling you. Maybe she didn't have to cash it, but it was like in that moment all my shame and my baggage had dissolved with giving her all that money back, even though I didn't have to do it. And that was a great motivator. I probably wouldn't have gone out there and hustled, um, you know, got out of debt, finally doing something with my life, finally building a career, finally getting into property Finally figuring out how to make money. Finally facing my demons and shame and not running away from them. So if you would like to make, manage, and multiply— by the way, let me know what you think of the stories and let me know what you think about shame as a motivator. And do you think most people are running away from their pain? Um, and is it maybe time to face yours? Because we all have it. Everything that you want is on the other side of pain and shame, and pain and shame are amazing motivators. And if you would like help to make, manage, and multiply more money, leverage your shame and your pain, turn your failings into your winnings, turn your stressings into your blessings, I recommend you join Rob.team. Now, before you do, if you find this content useful, please would you share this video? I want to get my message out to billions of people that you can face your demons and win. You can live a successful life. You can make, manage, and multiply more money. I want to educate as many people on the planet to get better financial knowledge. So I wonder if you wouldn't mind sharing and helping share the message, because the algorithms right now, you know, they're watching us. So, um, if you'd like to make, manage, and multiply more money, start and scale your business, get better financial education and knowledge, leverage your pain and your shame and turn it into profit and power, then join Rob.team. Rob.team is my digital financial freedom platform. It costs you less than 20 pence a day to join. You can cancel any time. There's no ongoing contract. And there, there are hundreds of hours of courses, resources, and masterclasses to make, manage, and multiply more money from whatever position you're in, whether you're a winner or a beginner or a master or a disaster. There is content to help you. There is the mindset, the skill set, the strategies and tactics of building wealth and turning your content into cash flow, getting your tax bill down and your income up. So there's the link. I've shared the link in the comments. It's rob.team. All you have to do is type in r-o-b dot t-e-a-m. Rob.team. Go join right now. There's no pain and shame in joining rob.team because it costs you less than 20 pence a day, so you've got nothing to lose. But the reality is, if you want to be rich You're gonna have to face the shame, face the pain, face the judgment, face the ridicule. Uh, and it's not just about strategies and tactics, it's about not running away from everything you've been running away from. You know, some people even say to me, oh Rob, well, I'm not ready to join Rob.team. Oh Rob, you know, I haven't got £8 a month, which they have. They're just running away all the time. Run towards, not away. I learned Krav Maga. Krav Maga is a self-defense, and whenever someone attacks you, the only way to negate and break their attack is to charge towards them, not run away from them. If you run away from them, they keep running towards you. You have to charge towards them and stop their power. Use their power against them. And this is what you have to do with your problems and your fears. You have to charge towards it. And stop running away from it and use its momentum and power, because pain and shame are the best motivator. So all the information, the content to turn your passion to your profession and your ideas into income are in Rob.team. Rob.team's been going for years. It's had 10,000 members— movers, shakers, game changers, and change makers like you. So you're not alone. And I'm doing new courses probably on a monthly basis, new content 2 to 3 times a week, so we're always updating it. I want to help you because I know what it's like to feel shame and loneliness. I know what it's like to feel broke. I've been broken, I've been rich, and people say money doesn't make you happy. It fucking does. I'm a lot happier now I'm rich than when I was broke. So see you in rob.team. Just type in rob.team. T-E-A-M. Let me know what you think about this content. Let me know what questions you've got. I'll try and engage with you in the comments depending on how many there are. I do check into my comments, can't always reply, but I'll do my best. And remember this, and this is relevant to shame and pain: if you don't risk anything, you risk everything. Where your fear is There your task is. Everything you're running away from runs you. Everything you've disowned owns you. The shame, the guilt, the envy, and the fear— these are your greatest motivators if you learn how to tap into them. And I can teach you in Rob.team. Type in R-O-B dot T-E-A-M. In fact, if you join right now I'm going to do something for you as a special gift and thank you. Um, I'm going to give you my 12-week Money Mastermind University completely for free. This is a £500 to £700 course. I'm going to give it to you completely for free if you join rob.team right now. Thanks very much, and remember, if you don't risk anything, you risk everything.
