A Father's Day message about the mental health struggles men face in silence. The speaker draws on conversations with Russell Kane about how men rarely ask for help, and shares his own family's experience with his father's bipolar depression to break the stigma around male vulnerability.
Father's Day, love and loss. So depending on where you are in the world or what time you're watching this video, it's Father's Day today, and I say happy Father's Day to all the dads in the world. Now, as men, we struggle much more with depression and mental health issues, and suicide is far higher. And I was talking to Russell Cain, who has an amazing podcast, Man Baggage, and he says that men rarely ask for help. And if men do sometimes reach out that they're struggling, other men often dismiss it and just turn to humor or banter. And I just say there are so many dads out there who are unsung heroes. There are single dads, there are dads who've lost fathers and dads who've lost sons, there are dads fighting wars who can't see their sons and daughters and fathers and mothers. And I just wanted to do a little video, a little ode to say Happy Father's Day to all the dads, to all the unsung heroes. And just to say, if you are alone on Father's Day, you're a dad without a son, or a dad without a dad, or a single dad like John has just mentioned there in the comments— John, I love you, love to you. Um, just remember, you're not alone. Always reach out and ask for help. Like Michael has just said here, often our coping mechanism for pain and loss and loneliness, um, is to banter it away. Um, we're worried about being vulnerable, we're worried about being judged. You know, we're supposed to be the strong patriarch. When in reality we struggle like everyone else. David has said he missed all of, um, his daughter growing up. David, I just want to say I'm sorry to hear that and I love you. My dear friend Ryan has missed most of his daughter's life. Big shout out to him. So, you know, just remember you're not alone. Remember, if you're a single dad, there are many single dads out there, you know, that you can connect with. If things aren't going quite so well for you like you'd like them, remember that there are others who have struggled and overcome it. You know, I read stories every day of men who struggled financially and then they've taken their own life because, you know, that male pride and that— I wouldn't say patriarchal ego, but I would just say that what's about being a man can sometimes You can feel great shame if you're not winning at life in all areas. But life has been hard with COVID and lockdowns and, you know, all this— the wars and the massive increase in costs and tax and everything else. And let's be honest, many of us in life, we're just still trying to figure it out. I haven't got this thing called life mastered. I definitely haven't got this thing called, um, fatherhood mastered for sure. So happy Father's Day, love to you. Please share your love and happy Father's Day wishes in the comments. Please share this video because if one dad can see this who's lonely or a single dad or lost their dad or lost their sons or daughters, you know, maybe, you know, we can connect with each other and support each other. Also, I would say right now I think there's a little bit of an identity crisis in the world in being a man. You know, I was talking to Russell Kane, like I said, the interview on Disruptors will be coming out with him soon. And you know, it's almost like to be a man has been somewhat confused or diluted. And so I think we could look back at this time and think, you know, there was almost a small identity crisis. Of what it is to be a man. Um, I'm certainly confused. Um, so I just want to say happy Father's Day, love to you. Please share this video if you're a dad on Father's Day and you're alone, or you don't have your wife with you, or your dad, or your son, or your daughter. Um, just wanted to say that there are people out there in a similar situation who to, you know, we're thinking of you. Do reach out for help. Never suffer alone, um, because there's a lot of support out there, but you must ask for help. And, you know, it's pretty well known, isn't it, now, which I think is a good thing that, um, Russell Cain was saying to me, if there's a WhatsApp group, um, full of ladies, and one lady says she's struggling, all the ladies say, right, let's shut this WhatsApp group down, let's go and get the Prosecco, let's meet up immediately, let's all huddle and talk and and support our lady friends. Whereas if a man says, I'm struggling a bit with depression, it either gets ignored or his mates go, shut up, don't worry about it, here's a meme, it'll be all right, and banter all gets thrown in. And, you know, we don't really know often how to deal with pain and shame and loss as well as women do. And so big shout out to Man Baggage, Russell Kane's podcast, which he's invited me to go on. You know, and all those people who do speak out openly about their struggles. You know, my dad had a huge nervous breakdown December 15th, 2005, and it's quite an embarrassing, shameful moment for him and our family. But, you know, my dad is still here. He's, um, he has— he struggled over the years, as has my mum. It's been as hard for my mum. That's another thing, you know, all the, all the, the ladies married to the men, if the men are having issues with depression and You know, my dad's got bipolar manic depression. Big shout out to you and all the support you give the men as well. Um, you're not alone. Reach out, ask for help, connect with, you know, many of the people who are going through something similar to you. And happy Father's Day, love and light and all things bright from me. Thanks for tuning in. Just a quick one. I wouldn't— I wonder if you wouldn't mind sharing this because if we can just reach out to a few people, um, and they can connect, then maybe we can make a bit of a difference together. Here's to the good men. Exactly, Brunette. Maggie has just tagged in Richard there. I wonder if you wouldn't mind tagging in, you know, a father you know that maybe has had loss, or maybe might be alone or struggling, or just anyone. But happy Father's Day, whether it's Father's Day today or not. Shout out to all the dads in the world. Hit the share button. Love you. I'm just gonna now go and see my crazy kids, 8, nearly 8, and nearly 12. Look what you've done, kids. Look at the gray. Yeah, dads are important, you know, and being a, a strong, you know, male role model. Let's not lose our masculinity in this world that is definitely having a, an identity evolution, shall we say. You don't have to shave your chest, you don't have to shave your balls, you don't have to be metrosexual, you don't have to have makeup, you don't have to filter yourself on social media. You know, men can be men, nothing wrong with that. Love you all, thanks for following my work. Hit the share button. Happy Father's Day! Let's have some stories in the chat, um, and tag a dad in. Thanks for tuning in. Remember this: if you don't risk anything, you risk everything.
