In this self‑help monologue, the speaker first issues a clear disclaimer that severe abuse such as rape, torture, or extreme physical/emotional trauma requires professional, qualified help and that seeking such help is a sign of strength. For milder forms of abuse—criticism, trolling, narcissistic behavior, bullying, or self‑directed negativity—the speaker proposes a single, empowering strategy: treat each stressful incident as a hidden blessing. He encourages listeners to ask themselves what the situation is trying to teach, what lesson remains unlearned, and what new level of personal growth it is preparing them for. Drawing on personal anecdotes of being bullied for his weight and of self‑inflicted mental abuse, he illustrates how internal self‑hate can amplify external harm. He argues that increasing self‑love diminishes the power of others’ opinions, while a lack of self‑acceptance makes one dependent on external validation and more vulnerable to criticism. The speaker also introduces the idea of “levels”: transcending one level of abuse builds resilience, but then a new, higher‑level challenge appears (“new level, new devil”). Throughout, he repeatedly invites viewers to comment, share, and seek help when needed, emphasizing that everyone needs support at some point and that turning pain into lessons can foster personal mastery.
Chapters
How to deal with abuse. I believe there's one main way that you can deal with abuse you may have had that is productive and empowering and will help you get over it the quickest. Before I go into this, caveat, warning, disclaimer: if you've experienced rape, torture, physical abuse, extreme emotional abuse, you should of course consult someone who's highly qualified and specialized in this area. I am not highly qualified and specialized in extreme cases of abuse, so please do yourself a favor if you've had extreme abuse and go and seek out professional help. It is not a weakness to ask for help, it is a strength. Many people in my community who I've mentored and coached have thanked me for helping them to ask and reach out for help when they've experienced extreme abuse, you know, things that I'm not professionally qualified to deal with. However, anything a level down from rape and torture and extreme physical abuse, I believe there's one best way to deal with this. And it reminds me of a saying that one of my mentors taught me, which is: in every stressing hides a blessing, and in every downside is an equal upside. So If you've had mild to strong abuse— criticism, troll hating, narcissism, bullying, etc.— then I believe the single best way to deal with it is to ask yourself, what is this trying to teach me? What is the lesson I've yet to learn? What is the blessing in this stressing? What new level is this preparing me for? I believe these questions will help you overcome external and internal abuse, because sometimes the abuse is worse in what we do to ourselves as much as it is what others do to us. Now, of course, remember, caveat disclaimer, sometimes extreme physical abuse needs extreme professional help. You know, I was bullied as the fattest kid in my year at school when I was younger. However, I'm just gonna say it straight, and I challenge you to open your mind to think the same thing, and I say this because I care. I abused myself far more than anyone could ever abuse me. I gave myself more mental and emotional abuse and torture than any bully could ever give me. I hated myself more than anyone could ever hate me. And so in that regard, I abused myself more than I was abused. Now, I remember seeing an old school friend. So he was in that year group where, um, I felt really bullied and abused. And I met him 25 years later, and we had some nice exchanges of chat. And, you know, he seemed a really nice, relaxed, level guy. And we got in on the subject of me being overweight, and he was like, "I didn't really notice." And I explained how I felt such abuse and hurt and bullying, and he's like, "I didn't know any of that went on." And he wasn't really aware of any of it. And so we beat ourselves up often as much as anyone could ever beat us up. And so I would say to you the following: If you've experienced abuse, hate, criticism, trolling, defamation, legal issues, people, you know, saying extremely hurtful, horrible things about you, especially publicly defaming and degrading your character, your physical appearance, your personality, I would say in every stressing hides a blessing. I would say don't beat yourself up like they're trying to beat yourself up. While they beat youself up, yourself up, you lift yourself up. I would say there is something to learn in this. So here's the thing I learned, and let me know what you think of this in the comments. By the way, something weird's going on with Facebook. Something has happened. I've tried 3 lives anyway, so really appreciate if you share this, but something weird is going on today. Um, so I realized I was beating myself up more than anyone else could beat me up. I also realised that the less I liked myself, the easier it was for other people to hurt me. So I then realised if I started to like and love myself, the opinions of other people didn't matter to me as much. Get your words out, Rob. Put your teeth in. There you go. So the more you love yourself, the less you care about what other people think about you. The less you love yourself, the more you need others to love you. When you go into a naive fantasy that you want other people to love you, you set yourself up for criticism and hate. So anyone who's had abuse to the limit of extreme where you should go and get professional help I would simply say, in every stressing hides a blessing. What is this trying to teach you? What next level is this trying to prepare you for? What do you not love and own about yourself that means that this gets to you? How did you attract it and even maybe cause it? And how can you repel it and overcome it next time? I believe this is the single best way to deal with abuse. So I would love your thoughts in the comments. Let me know what you think. It is a strength to ask for help. So I just say to you, if you've had extreme abuse that goes beyond what I've said and you need professional help, then get professional help. Ask for professional help. We all need help. Every winner was once a beginner. Every master was once a disaster. None of us have mastered everything. We all need help and support of people who've been there and done it. But if there's one thing I can give you that I believe is a real gift, it is that anytime something happens that you don't like, that hurts, that's hard, that's painful, that even feels like it's abuse, see the gift in it. Learn the lesson in it. Ask yourself the wisdom in it that is trying to teach you. And I believe you will transcend it, and I believe you will grow as a person, and I believe that there's just simply new levels in life. And as the saying goes, new level, new devil. So you transcend a level of abuse, minor abuse. Some people see criticism on social media as abuse. Some people would need to be punched in the face to see abuse. It depends on who you are. But once you transcend a level of abuse, it disappears because it doesn't affect you anymore, because you built a resilience to it. But then what happens is you open yourself up to the next level. New level, new devil. But in every stressing hides a blessing, and there's just new levels of mastery to achieve. So I'd love your thoughts. Hit the share button. Don't know what's going on about Facebook, rather weird, but might just be something random today. And remember this: if you don't risk anything, you risk everything.
