047: Unveiling the Truth about Tantra with Chandresh Bharwaj

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. How are you guys? We are eight days today into 2018, and I am feeling really pumped. I'm loving the energy of this year. I'm seeing so many people just really step up, get their game together, and get the ball moving towards their dharma, and it makes me so excited to be alive at this time. Last night, Oprah did her beautiful speech all about the MeToo movement and how so many women have been just sexually assaulted and not been. Been able to speak their truth for too many years and how this needs to come to an end this year right now with us. And it was so inspir. I just posted on my Instagram, Oprah 2020 for President, because you all know the world needs her so badly right now. And I did a hashtag saying, buy pitta imbalance Trump. And everyone's like, that's like the best thing I've ever seen. But seriously, Trump is the most pitta imbalanced person you will ever see. He has all of the indicators. I mean, his prakriti is already very pitta. He has the naturally red hair, very red face, a lot of heat coming out of his body. When he spots beaks, you can tell he definitely needs the air conditioning on when he goes to bed. He has a lot of inflammation in his system. Definitely has some. Some skin disorders going on. Lot of, lot of fire, but not channeled in a good way. He really needs some leafy greens, like all the mint leaves in the world. Like, I don't think the world could even cultivate enough mint leaves for the amount he would need to cure this imbalance.

He.

He needs to practice a lot of yin yoga, spend the rest of his life in, again, yoga with all the bolsters and all the blocks, and he still probably won't get there. But let's send him love. Let's send you support, Trump. We, we hope you can make it to a Panchakarma facility and really work on your pita imbalance so the rest of the world doesn't have to suffer because of it. So we need some more Oprah. She's so kapha. She's so loving. She's so motherly, Oprah. She's actually the example I always give when I talk about a kapha person. Just attentive, calm, loving, warm. Just the type of person you could just spill your guts out to and, you know, is not going to judge you and just be there for you and just give you a hug and truly, truly make you feel like the world is such a great place to be in. So we need some kapha, some earth to rebalance the heat going on right now. So check it out. And also, if you have not listened to my last High Self podcast episode, Financial Self Care. Why Abundance is a mindset we need to pay attention to episode 46. This is probably my most fasted, fastest, fastest shared podcast episode yet. It's been crazy just how many of you guys are sharing it on your Instagram stories. I'm reposting everyone who's sharing it. So thank you so much. I'll share you on my story. But just so many people being like, this is exactly what I need to hear. So many people telling me afterwards, like, wow, abundance was my word of 2018. Like, it's just the energy. You know, so many of us, we've done the work, we've got gotten in there. We're, you know, we've taken the first steps to follow our dharma. But there's still this like level of fear of how am I going to support myself financially? How am I really going to be able to make a life doing what I love? Is this even possible? And I know for me that was a really big doubt and fear that I had. I also did a webinar last last week, which you can also check out. I'll post the link on my website iamsaharrose.com In a blog post, but it was about my experience doing Institute for Integrative Nutrition. I graduated from there probably about five years ago. So I was in college. It was no 2012, so six years ago now. And at first I thought, how can I ever, you know, at first I was like, oh, I just want, want to go to IIN to learn about health and learn about wellness for myself. But I don't think I could ever be a health. And then it was really inspiring me. And they teach you just everything it is you need to know from how to set up a health history consultation, how to create a six month program, all the legal documents you need, how to guide someone through transformation, what to say, how primary foods and lifestyle and spirituality are just as important, if not more important than food. And you know, all these things that I had never even thought about before. So it really opened up a whole new world of possibilities for me. But I still have this fear in the back of my mind that how will I ever make it as a health coach who's going to pay me for this advice. No, no one's ever going to pay for this. You know, everyone wants it for free and I'm never going to be able to make money this way. Only one in a million people will end up being successful bloggers. And this was just a, you know, belief that I carried in my head, which I'm sure a lot of you guys carry right now too. And it was really holding me back. And I share this more in the webinar, but it even got to the point I put up twenty dollar consultations on, on my blog. I was like, hey, anyone, whatever your issue is, I will help you out. 20 bucks, I'm yours. And of course no one's going to book with someone who is so desperate they're not going to take health advice from some college girl saying, hey, pay me 20 bucks, I'll tell you what to do with your health. Of course not. Was I crazy? But you don't realize this when you're in it, right? So it just truly transformed me. And through the program I learned how to actually set up health history consultations, how to get my first six month paying client. I started making more money and college than I ever dreamed about making years after in any of the jobs that I was doing before. And I started my health coaching practice before I graduated and now write books. And my whole life and is is revolved around health and I'm truly doing what I love. I wrote a book, the Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda. I have this podcast. I get so many emails from people every single day who want consultations, which I no longer even do because now I do group programs and, and other things. So I share this because one, it's related to today's podcast episode, but two, because a lot of you guys are in that same place of really wanting to do something and the fear of finances is what's holding you back. And I totally get it, but you need to start doing that. You need to start believing in yourself. Because if you have this limitation that no one's going to pay me for my services, I'm not good enough, then that's what people are going to receive from your energy. They're going to say, oh, she doesn't even trust herself. Why should I trust her? So you really need to begin trusting yourself. Trust comes with delivery. You know, start coaching people for free. Start doing whatever you can, whether whatever you're doing, even if it's not coaching, just start getting your work out there. Just start doing it. And we, and we talk about this a lot. In the episode I share how I wrote my book, my Ayurveda book. At that point I had called it E write for your mind body type. I wrote the entire book and got it edited and graphic design and everything before I had had ever met a literary agent or even met someone who ever had a book before. I just went and did it on my own and I thought, you know, even if I never find someone, I'll self publish it. But this is my dharma. I want to write this book. So it really just takes believing in yourself and doing it and walking your truth. And the universe will respond to you in time. So I just want to share that I am doing a great amazing promotion with Institute for Integrative Nutrition right now, which is the health coaching alma mater that I went to that I was just speaking about. So it's fifteen hundred dollars off tuition and you'll also get VIP tickets to their live conference next year. This year their speaker is Deepak Chopra. Like literally he's just everywhere in my life. But they've had speakers. Gabby Bernstein, Mark Hyman, Dr. Whale, they're all guest teachers in the program. It is a one year totally online health coach program. And at the end of the year you become a certified holistic health coach. You can get certified by the American association of Drugless Practitioners. You can even use those credits to go on and get your masters at, you know, Maryland University of Integrative Health. A few, a few others. So I highly, highly, highly recommend checking it out. You can contact them Institute for Integrative Nutrition and find out more about it. Just mentioned Sahara Roses discount and they will give you the fifteen hundred dollars off discount. If you're interested in checking out a sample class or looking at the curriculum or anything else, just hop over to my website. You'll see it all right there. And I really hope that this opens up doors of possibilities for you guys because the world needs more health coaches right now. We need more people who are working with, you know, patients and seeing them as individuals and not just, you know, paychecks or sick people that, you know, they can't, don't even have time to really address the root of the issue. And that's unfortunately how it's become in the health world. And even if you don't want to be a health coach, it still was truly transformational for me to just gain confidence to be in this world, to do my blogging full time, to, to speak, to do all these things. I really thought that it wasn't Even a possibility. And having this certification was exactly the fire behind my butt that I needed to really go out there, follow my dreams. So check it out. Go on my website. You can find more information and tell them about the Sahara's discount. You'll get fifteen hundred dollars scholarship off tuition, which is pretty rad. So now let's get to today's episode. So I'm so excited to share this episode with you. It's with Chandrash Bhardwaj. He is an incredible seventh generation tantra expert and spiritual advisor. He's the author of the book break the norms, Questioning everything you think you know about God. God and truth, life and death, love and sex. And his forward, guys, was written by his Holiness, the Dalai Lama. So if you thought I was cool, he's like, way cooler. And in this episode, we really go deep into so many different things, but unveiling the truth of what tantra is. And most of us, when we've heard of Tantra, Tantra, we think of it as a sexual practice. I know, I thought it was like the Kama Sutra, but it turns out that's just one drop in an ocean of what tantra truly is. So tantra is an ancient Vedic science based on experiencing all spectrums of human emotions. Whether it's joy or anger or sexuality or sadness or creativity or wisdom or sovereignty or whatever it is, it's just accepting it all. Nothing is inherently good or bad. Everything is just accepted as part of us that can be channeled into source energy. So I loved learning about this with him because his family's been doing this for seven generations. He's born and raised in India and is truly so knowledgeable about this topic. So he actually came to my home. This is the first time that we met when we had this conversation. And we recorded this a few months ago actually, and it's the perfect time to put it up now. And since then, we've become super good friends. So I'm so excited to share this with you. We talk about his journey from growing up in India to becoming a Wall Street Journal in New York and everything in between. We talk about the goddess and what she trul and our ancestors and how we take on their strengths and their weaknesses and our shadows and doing the shadow work and what it's like to have a guru for a dad and how the Dalai Lama wrote the forward to his book. Like, he gives us the step by step on how that happened. So we have so much in common, him and I. So if you like hearing from me, you're gonna love hearing from Chandra, so I'll let you guys get to it. I hope you enjoy this episode and I can't wait to hear your feedback in the Mind Body Balancers Facebook group. Namaste. And if you enjoyed this episode, please, please, please leave a review in the itunes store because that's how we can get seen by more people and make it on Spotify. So you guys can download this and just listen to it wherever. So please leave a review, share your love and I love you guys so much. Namaste. So I'm sitting here with Chandrash. We've already been talking so much. I feel like I have known you already for a million years. And I am just so excited to have you here on the highest self podcast, sharing your message, your book, and everything that you've been working on. So, wel.

Thank you, Sara. My pleasure.

Yes. And the first question that I'm going to ask you, that I ask everyone is what makes you your highest self?

Oh, wow. What makes me my highest self? I think my love for breaking my norms, that definitely connected me to my higher self. And also I think that's part of breaking my norm. It's. It's self acceptance. I think the more I accepted myself, the more I experience my higher self.

So, yeah, I love that. And I love how your book is called break the norms, because when you think of a spiritual book, I don't think break the norms. And I love how you're literally breaking boundaries. The subtitle is questioning everything you think you know about God and truth, life and death, love and sex. Just so much juiciness. And by the way, his foreword is by his holiness, the Dalai Lama. So if you thought I was cool, he's way cooler. This is amazing. So our friend Rosie, who is just on this podcast, put us in touch and she was like, oh, my God. Your forwards by Deepak. His is my Dalai Lama. You guys just need to connect. So I'm really excited to finally have you here. And there's just so many amazing. Oh, my gosh. And you have Deepak on the back too, right? Amazing. So there are just so many things that I want to discuss with you, from the process of writing your book to your view on. On love and sex and tantra and all of these things. So let's start at the beginning and you discuss this in your book. How did you come to be an author? You didn't start this way. You were working in Wall Street, Right. What was your journey?

So writing was part of my journey since I Was a little kid, but I used to write in Hindi. That was my mother tongue. I didn't know English, didn't know how to write it, speak it, nothing. I grew up in a very small town in India. So I used to write movie scripts in Hindi and mail to Bombay so that someone could make a movie on my script. And I was in second grade.

Wow.

I'm so glad no one made a movie on those scripts. I never got a rep. That was not an inspiring journey that people were actually responding me. No, nothing happened. But I still continued to, you know, write those stories. Then poetry took on. I still write poetry, but that was my writing journey. You know, from movie scripts to write to writing poetry. Spiritual writing happened when I was in college in New York. So I did my high school in India, went to New York City, did my bachelor's in finance and accounting double major in New York City. And I was work side by side. I was working in a CPA firm. Then I joined Wall Street. Also the spiritual part happened. I mean, I was always learning about spirituality, you know, from my teacher, you know, my father, and I was constantly traveling with him in India. I grew up.

And was your father a spiritual teacher or he just was interested in spirituality?

He is a very, you know, authentic traditional spiritual teacher. He practices in New York. Yeah, he still goes to India every month.

Wow. So you just decided you want to do finance, even having this certificate.

Because, you know, my father, he's very interesting teacher. He never ever tells any of his students that you should be doing should is not part of that equation.

He very not Indian.

Right, right. He would inspire you to find your own answer. And I used to find this a little annoying also at times that my father is guru to so many people. He should be telling me, this is what your path is. Just go for it. Because I had my struggles with finding my pat. And I would complain to my mom that why dad is not telling me what I need to be doing. And she said, you know, your grandfather was also like that. He never ever told people, you should be doing this. And she said, you should be happy. All your cousins and friends, they're like upset because their fathers are telling them, you should be doing this. That's all. But it was very, I think, powerful experience that he never told me to even meditate. It was just my. It was my first love. Because I think if you grew up in a family of dancers, you would love dancing any or you would hate it either way. Right, Right. So I grew up watching him in meditation, watching him you know, surrounded by monks and masters. So it was a very natural love within me toward spirituality. And I grew up in Punjab, and I was an hour away from Dalai Lama's monastery, two hours away from the Sikh temple, the Golden Temple. And I went to Catholic school in India, 12 years there, growing up in Hindu family. So there was a lot of religious, spiritual, you know, energies surrounding me. And these experiences were building up side by side. But also, growing up in India, I saw a lot of poverty around me. We were all right. We were not super up there. Not super. We were, you know, in the middle. But my father always had a lot of respect. So I always thought, he's special. You know, even though we don't have the Rolls Royce, but he. He's. You know, people who have Rolls Royce, they come to see him for guidance. So he's definitely special. But I also, you know, realized I don't want to be someone who doesn't have money. I wanted to do something for spirituality. Break the norms was very much part of my journey since seventh or eighth grade. I wanted to create something like this, and I didn't want spirituality to look like a very poor version of what spirituality should be. I wanted it to be on a nice global scale. So that journey started. Wall street happened because I wanted to make money for spirituality, that I'll create a Break the Norm center or some spiritual center in few years. But I also realized that if I, you know, stay in Wall street for a few years, I'll use all that money for my own therapy because Wall street will damage me. So the reason for getting in Wall street was, you know, I loved numbers and I loved the inspiration for making money and having that glamour and also using that money for a spiritual center. But very soon, I realized it's not me. Very quickly, I realized that. And also I would come across people who would actually stop me on street in cafes, and they would tell me, you're not supposed to be here. You're supposed to be somewhere else. My first boss, her name is Maureen. She's a cp, and she told me the same thing. You're not supposed to be here. And she said, you can work with me for as long as you want, but this is not your path. She's the CPA of, by the way, all of my work now. She handles all my stuff.

Wow.

I went back to her after a few years and said, you were right. I'm not part of that equation anymore, and I'm out of there.

Wow. So here you are thinking that you're following your dharma. Your dharma is to work on Wall street, have that financial wealth so you can spend it doing what you love. But as you get into that, you realize, if I continue this path, I'm going to be burned out. And I think a lot of people, they start to work this job so they can make money to do what they love, and they never end up getting to do that thing that you love. So what was that like? Like quitting and taking that leap to become a spiritual advisor. You know, there's no job you can apply for that.

Oh, I know. It's been so complicated, for sure, right? And, and I, I, I'm not a fan of labels, but this advisor label, it. It started happening way too early in my journey. When I was in college, I got this opportunity to write article, spiritual articles for a business, you know, college. And they had this business newspaper which only talked about stock market and stuff. And the editor liked one of my. I submitted. It was about positive thinking and stuff. And she said, if you could write something like this, we'll give you your own column for every week. It was a big opportunity. But I didn't know how to write in English. Honestly, that article, I got edited by 10 friends, you know, and I didn't have the confidence to write. But my father suggested you should be writing because he saw that path. He always encouraged writing, by the way. He always said you should be, you know, writing because your grandfather was a writer. He was a poet. And my dad likes writing. He doesn't write books, but he likes. He enjoys writing as a healing process. So he encouraged me, and only because of him, I said yes to the college newspaper. But that began a very powerful experience for me in college. I did not enjoy the whole grading experience, going to classes, studying and getting good grades. But I loved my writing journey in college. I would write the articles. Students, professors, they would reach out to me. You spoke about this. Can we chat? Chat after, you know, class or students would come to me with their problems. So that's when the advisor, things started happening, right? And the Newsday newspaper of New York, they. They saw the column and they wrote a story on me, which was titled, at the age of 20, giving advice to Grownups. So that story became viral. There was no social media then, but it became viral through newspapers. I was interviewed from, you know, newspapers in Australia, Hong Kong, India, everywhere. And that gave me a very strong energy to continue with this journey. Because I never thought my advice or my words make a difference. I mean, I was just enjoying this process. I loved Talking about all of these taboos and I guess something must have clicked with people that they liked. And that's how the journey as a writer started in us.

That's so beautiful. And I think, you know, for everyone listening, if you don't know what your dharma is, look at what people come to you for.

Right.

Coming to you for a specific thing, for spiritual advice or for how to start a business plan or for how to be more creative. That's probably related to what you need.

To be doing and what comes effortlessly to you. That's so important also. Right?

Exactly. I totally agree. So people started coming to you, you have this column and then you graduate college. Then what do you do?

I graduated college and I was in a wealth management, you know, firm. It was very big firm, my dream, you know, place to work in. And none of my friends got in there. I got in. It was a great, it looked great. But so what used to happen there? Every morning I would go to office and I would say good morning to my boss. He would say, prove it. And that was a very frequent thing to happen. I'll say good morning and he'll say, prove it. And he was the most unhappy person that I saw, you know, in those, those days. Never smiled, always in stress, always complaining about. And these guys were making tons of money.

Right.

And that's when I first realized that this is probably not me, but I still didn't have the courage to leave, to leave the whole thing because that's what I worked for. And you know, that whole leaving India, coming here, getting a secure job, fulfilling your parents expectations.

Sure. Especially with visa stuff too.

Right?

Yeah.

And you know, I always used to tell myself, I shouldn't be taking this for granted. I know people around me, students around me, they're not getting the visa, they're not getting to stay here. I have this opportunity and looks like I'm just complaining, you know, about. So I continued going to office every day. I remember I hurt my foot in one of the winters and it was snowing very bad and I took days off because of the foot. And I emailed them and they would make me work from 8am to like 9pm on the days I wouldn't go to office. And one day I emailed them, it's very bad snow, I can't walk. So can I, you know, not come today and tomorrow? And they said, you already took three days off and if this continues, we just can't have you. So you have to come. And from Long Island, I'll go to Manhattan. Slimping, you know, it was that those days were such painful. And that's when I realized, do I need to do this limp through my way? And people would tell me in trains, in office, chandrash, you're limping. I said, oh, thank you. I didn't know that, right? I mean, every day this was happening. And because it was already hurting, it was swelling. And by dragging myself everywhere every day, you can't take cab from door to door. You still have to walk in city. I mean, there's no way you can avoid that. So it was getting very painful. And that's one day I couldn't take off my shoe for half an hour. It was just so painful. And that's when I realized I probably don't need to be here. Not getting any happier physically. Now the troubles are starting, which never happened before. And the environment was so aggressive and so objectified toward women also because it's a man's club there, right? And I didn't like, because in tantra, you literally worship the feminine energy, right? And it was a very tough decision to quit Wall Street. And after I did that, I worked there for a few months, but I quit Wall street and I, I didn't know what to do. Now that was done. So I asked my father that I want to assist you in your organization because they still operated through some old school systems. And he, he didn't have a business card, didn't have a good website. And he's like, I don't need, need, I don't need any of this. So I had to convince him that you need this. So I joined in and I introduced, you know, the whole website, the whole CRM system. Because what I learned in corporate, I was like, let me just, you know, use that. And in return I can learn how to use my, you know, spiritual training to help people. Because, you know, meditating is one thing and how you could help people through that, that's a different thing is. So I used that time to travel with him, translate his talks in English, and also, you know, assist his team, has, you know, trained them spiritually. And also it was a very good spiritual training. And it was around that time I realized that I think I need to start my version of spirituality. What do I see at what, what do I see spirituality as? So that's when Break the norms started happening.

I love it. And, and for a lot of people listening, we talk a lot about how your physical body speaks to you when something mentally. So I think your foot was the universe saying, like, you're not Supposed to be going to that office. So I'm going to injure your foot so you can't walk, that you're literally limping there. And that was the message that you needed the karma, that you needed to be like, I can't go here.

I'm so glad you pointed that. Because something else also happened physically, which again, never happened before or after, only only during that Wall Street. One was the foot. Other was my face started to have allergy and it would swell. I would have pimples around my lips. I wouldn't be able to talk. I'll feel feverish. It went very bad. I spoke to few doctors. They were recommending creams I didn't, didn't want to use that some people were recommending. Or maybe you're having mangoes. Mangoes are, you know, I'm like, I'm sure I'm not having, like 50 mangoes a day.

Yeah.

You know, maybe one mango a day.

Yeah.

And some somebody said, oh, you're using a wrong shaving cream. Wrong.

You're like, no, I'm really stressed out. They don't ask you about that. It must be the mangoes, right?

It must be the mangoes. So maybe that should be the title of one of our books. It should be. It Must be the mangoes.

I love that.

So that didn't stop. And I spoke to ayurvedic doctor. You know, he, he, he, you know, he was in India and I was here, and. But he was still able to diagnose the whole thing. He asked me, what's your daily routine, what you're eating? And, And I mentioned coffee and Mentos somewhere, those candies, right. So he said, okay, what's Mentos? I said, it's a minty thing and all that. He said, try stopping that and try, you know, doing. Having this drink instead, you know, with honey, lemon. Very simple stuff. In two days, the allergy was gone. And the funny thing was, it went so bad, I wouldn't be able to talk sometimes if I couldn't open my mouth. But that was happening again only in Wall street, because I became part of that blind rat race there. Everybody had a coffee and a bagel and they would run every day.

So pitta, you know, the lifestyle is.

My pitta got so high during those days.

Hives are a sign of too much heat in the body.

Exactly. And he said the same thing. He said, your pitta is too high right now. You got to, you know, take control of it. But it. I learned so much about my body during those Days for sure. And my body was the first, I think big sign that I shouldn't be here.

Yeah, I think our body is always speaking to us and it takes like noticing the little cues and the better you get at noticing the cues and you can switch directions, but when we don't know, it takes like hives or an injury or even worse. Who knows? If you had stuck, stuck there, you might be handicapped by now.

That's why I was thinking that, you know, I think all the money I'll be saving, I'll be spending in gurus, therapists, physical therapists, doctors that fix me now.

No, and, and that happens with so many of these people. They keep making more money and then, you know, you get got a bigger place and a bigger TV and where.

Does the money go Exactly. Like, my boss had an apartment in Manhattan, a big house in New Jersey, and he would just drink after office. That's what everybody was doing there, by the way. All the big bosses, they used to drink, you know, after the office is over because they need to take out that stress.

Right.

So I clearly, you know, realized this is not me. But what, what's me then that took few years to realize. Honestly.

Definitely. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I really commend you for taking that leap. And it was obvious that your spirit guides or whoever looking out for you place your father in your life because you had an example of someone who is leading a spiritual life. And that's something that you could look to and say, well, there is an alternative way. And I think a lot of people haven't even seen that alternative. I think of my brother, he worked in like finance for real estate companies. But my dad does the same thing. So for him, thinking of another way is like, there can't be. It's not a coincidence that your father grew up in that lineage and you and you have now seventh generation, right.

And you know, I've never shared this openly or with. Very few people have shared this. So when my mother was pregnant, my grandpa, by the way, I call my grand. So my grandpa's brother, I call him grandpa also. He was my dad's guru and he never got married. He was the authentic traditional Indian tantra teacher and he was very intuitive. He was looked upon by people as, you know, almost like a godly figure. Very, very, you know, much respected. He told my mother when she was pregnant everything that I'm doing now. And he wrote a little booklet in Hindi, you know, he. And he wrote everything about Akashic Record. Exactly. And he mentioned that he will Study accounting, but never force him to. To do a job in that field. It didn't make sense to me. When I was little, I was obsess that book, right. And I had to stop reading it.

So your parents let you read that book?

They did and they realized they made a mistake because I was, I got obsessed with that book and my father had to tell me, you got to stop reading it. Because I was feeling just so happy about the good things and I was getting stressed out, stressed about the not good things and that wasn't turning out well. So they had to tell me that you got to stop it. And it's still with me. It's in New York. But I don't read it now.

Have you read what's going to happen to you next?

It's not like a daily day to.

Day, like do you know your future or, or did you just read it to now?

I mean I've read the whole thing like hundred times.

Okay, so you like know when you're gonna die? Everything.

The funny thing is it mentions my age also there. Yeah, okay, I'm not gonna say that, but it mentions the age, it mentions some crazy things, but it also mentions at every other page that this is the record at this moment based on this state of consciousness. If he evolves through meditation, good can turn into bad, right? Or the bad could be worse if he doesn't change. So it didn't tell me that this is what's your life now going to be.

Right?

It's a rough blueprint, like Akashic record right now.

Exactly.

But you have the power to change it. For example, it mentioned you'll be short tempered. It takes a lot to piss me off. Now I don't get angry at all. But when I was a little kid in India, I would get angry in a major way with authorities, my school principal, the local cops. If I see anything wrong, break the norms. Right. That happened again out of anger toward, you know, the, the conditioning, the society and all of that stuff. So. But I channeled my anger to, you know, write a book, right. So I learned a lot from that booklet grandpa wrote. And he told my mom that never ever force him to, you know, do the work that you want him to do. He'll not go that way. It. A lot of his things didn't make sense to me for many years.

Was it based on like your astrological chart?

It was based on astrology chart. And he was, was also super intuitive. I mean he was the, the, the gurus that we talk about and he Wrote that within one hour of after I was born.

Wow.

And he. He all. He told everyone, I'm going to be writing that. And he. He was. He was sick around, you know, those days, and he wasn't very active. But he. He made my aunt to write the whole thing. So he was just, you know, dictating the whole thing, and she was writing.

Wow.

And, yeah, I read that. But good thing is, I understand the responsibility also of being in this lineage. It's like this, you know, people ask me why you wear this thread all the time. It's tied by my guru, and it's such a good, powerful reminder for me that I cannot take this path for granted.

For sure.

Especially the way now things are turning out with the whole spiritual teacher zone. You know, like, you hear about something, you know, wrong happening with spiritual teachers every other month. So it's a very responsible path. And I think being in this family, having him as the. As the guru, as grandfather, it. I find it a huge blessing. But it also taught me how to consciously evolve your journey and not just blindly accept what's written for you.

Right, Right. Yeah. I mean, I think a lot of us, we think we go to an astrologer or a psychic or something, and they tell us something, and then we're like. We throw our hands in the air. We're like, well, this is what it is. I can't do anything about it. And it's giving up your power and free will is always. Is always working. And, you know, I wonder. I'm not. I mean, I guess you've read the book so many times if, like, the book changes as you change, you know, because with your akashic records, it's actually changing.

Yeah, it has already changed after I started evolving so many things.

The words in the book have changed.

No, no, not the words. I'm like, wow, that would be powerful. I think the words didn't change, but the readings, the predictions, the way that you evolved.

Yeah. You know, he could say something and you perceive it in such a different way.

Exactly. Because I really. I mean, there were a few points in the book. I clearly realized I don't want to be this person. What if this comes out to be true?

Right.

So, for example, if it says in the age of, you know, 19 to 21, he'll be sick. So I became very conscious of what I'm eating, how I'm responding to every little sign in the body so that I don't fall sick. So many things started making sense to me.

Right.

Yeah. And it did Mention that he may do a job in Wall street in finance, but he may not stay there for too long. And it also mentioned he will have interest in astrology, but he will never, ever pick up astrology. Because my father is a genius astrologer, grandfather was a genius astrologer. I never, ever opened a book of astrology because it just never spoke to me.

Yeah. And it's a very advaitic. Astrology is very in depth.

It's very powerful. Right. And I realized if I have to pick one, you know, art of teaching in Indian, you know, traditions, it has to be something that really, really excites me, not simply because it exists in the powerful way. So it was tantra, I think, that spoke to me, and I had to just keep Ayurveda and astrology on the side because I realized tantra is the one that. That's really calling to me in a strong way.

Yes. So let's talk a little bit about tantra. Tantra. For you guys who are like, what Tantra? You might have heard about it, it's not just the sex system. It's a lot more. I remember when I first heard about it, I thought tantric sex, the Kama Sutra, like, I don't want anything to do with that. Gross. And then when I went to India, I saw there were all these tantra festivals. I'm like, what, do they just have sex with each other in there? Like, what goes on? And I saw they're all, like, clothed and, like, looking each other in the eyes. And I was really creeped out because I grew up in the United. United States, where it's like, you have your personal space and your boundaries, and, like, no one gets within three feet of you without you feeling weird. So, like, staring into a stranger's eyes for, like, 30 minutes sounded like torture. And the first time I. The first month that I would do anything related to that, I hated it. And then I realized, like, what is this saying about myself about not letting people in, about feeling like, you know, because a lot of times if someone's staring you in the eye, you think you're either gonna attack you or they're, like, trying to seduce you, but just seeing that they're just seeing you for who you are. And most. Most of us, we don't look at each other in the eye. So can you talk a little bit about what tantra is and what your version of it is as well?

So I grew up among the most, I would say, traditional tantra teachers. I had no idea about its. Its connection to sex until I came to us. Right. And I remember when in college, I, you know, they would ask me, what kind of meditations do you do? What's your background in spirituality? I would say Tantra. I used to get two strong reactions. Some reactions were like, they would just keep a reasonable distance and some would get too close. I'm like, that's just. Both are plain creepy. I mean, why would they go away? Why would they try to jump on me?

I've heard of that. You're from India.

And I was surprised why this is happening. And I googled tantra one day, and I never googled it before, you know, and when I googled it, I mean, we come from, know that dial up Internet generation, so we would google only things that really, really matter because your.

Parents are going to see. Yeah, exactly.

So I never googled Tantra. But then, you know, I was in New York, I didn't have to depend on dial up anymore.

Yeah.

So I googled Tantra and I realized, oh, tantra is soft porn here. Nothing more than that.

Right.

And I asked my father that, dad, did you train me to be a sex therapist? Because if you did, this is the time. I'm studying finance. Do you want me to switch majors in college from a business school to, I don't know, sexual studies? Sexual studies in Colorado? I don't know. And he, he said, you know, tantra picks every single element that a human being goes through. Sex is part of that, and so is anger, ego, greed, other emotions. And Tantra picks everything. Yes, but the marketing gurus only picked sex because sex sells.

Right.

And that's how tantra became super popular in the western world with sex. My version of. It's not my version, I would say how I've understood and learned tantra in India. So Tantra, the name means technique, and Tantra literally means techniques of self realization. And there are so many techniques. Sara, you'll be surprised. If you're a writer, there's a meditation technique for you to improve your writing skills through meditation. That there are mantras.

What's the technique?

Technique, Right. I'm. That's a secret. I'm not going to reveal that.

Okay.

Podcast for you. But there are like, literally mantras who are writer, actor, doctor, accountant. You could be any profession in the world. And Tantra has a system for you.

Wow.

That this is what you should be doing to polish that energy. And I was fascinated by this whole, you know, techniques. There are more than hundred meditations. There are more than thousand mantras.

Is there like A book of all of these or how do you find them?

I wish I there was a book because that used to be my major complaint in, in my training days that I would constantly ask for the book.

From can you write the Idiot's Guide to Tantra? Does that exist?

You know, honestly, your book did inspire me to write. Write a guidebook on Tantra, Idiot's Guide. That's what get you in touch with the publishers.

Do it.

I was like, this is so important, it's so needed. And there's not even, I think a week goes by when people don't ask me about the, the book, right? It used to be my complaint to my mother that dad is not giving me the book. He has a book, I know, and why he's giving me hard time and my mom is my complaint box. You know, like, I would come, right, and she would tell him that why you're not giving him the book? And he said, have you seen me with a book ever? Have you seen, you know, his, you know, guru with the book? He said, there is no book. It's a lean. That's why it has to be like, it's per. I think it's, it's, it's done for a purpose because it then it goes from lineage to lineage. And the teachers do not give out this to just anyone randomly.

Got it?

Even the books that are out there, they're not doing a good job with it. And I can already see why the ancient teachers restricted this and they gave it out in a very revered, respected form, right? So there's no book, but there are Sanskrit scriptures, you know, that one could decode. But those scriptures are so abstract, you cannot just read. And you're like, oh, so this is what technique is you've got to go through. I actually hired a Sanskrit teacher in India for more than two years to decode one text of Sanskrit. And all we, I mean, all we got to know was, you know, the, the praise of universe, the praise of Goddess Kali. There was no technique in it, but you have to really read between the lines and meditate through, you know your way through through it. So tantra is 80% practical science, it's 20% theory, but it's majority of it is simply practical. Like Ayurveda is nothing if you don't practically use it, right? I mean, we can talk about the herbs, the, all the medicines in it, but what's the use of, you're not actually doing it. So Tantra is the same way. It has mantras, it has, you know, Meditation techniques, but they perform just a normal part of it. But once you start doing it, then tantra is like as limitless as sky. And there are many different schools of tantra. There's Buddhist tantra, there's, you know, Hindu tantra, Shiva tantra. I do not subscribe to any religious form of tantra. There is no religious form of it, but religious teachers have made their own version of it. What I practice is mainly my personal practice consists of mantras. I do meditate on Goddess Kali. You know, there are tantra.

So is Goddess Kali, who's the goddess of destruction? Is she the main goddess in tantra?

She's, I would say she's the, the highest authority in tantra. There are 10 goddesses. You know, that tantra?

Because I feel like in like the yogic path, it's like you're kind of scared of her.

Exactly. A lot of people are scared of her. And I remember when I used to meditate as a kid, you know, on her or when I would go to the Kali temples, my friends get scared. Why you're going there, right? And so many of my clients ask this question.

And people who don't know who Kali is, Google her. She has like skulls in her hand and her hair is crazy and. But she's fierce.

She's fierce. And I. So what I want to, you know, share about Kali is she's not just the Goddess of destruction. This, that's just one of her many forms that people see on Google or in books. She's formless. Like she is a feminine energy. So as an energy, she has many forms. And there are days you want to channel the fierce form. There are days you want to, you know, channel her sensual form. There are days you want to channel her poetic form. On some days you want to channel the motherly form. There are many forms of her. There's not one form. Because it's like, you know, if I'm an artist, if I'm a painter, and if my view of Kali is just a destruction view, I would paint her as a goddess of destruction. And it's like seeing the tantra is only six, right? And that's how people. People have. Have been seeing Kali as only Goddess of destruction. But in reality, even Goddess Durga, who's the beautiful goddess on a loin, she's also form of Kali, right? Goddess Saraswati, the Goddess of wisdom.

She's my goddess, right?

She's also. She also comes from there. So Kali is the umbrella. And all the other forms fall under that umbrella. So in reality, you could meditate on just Kali and you could absorb the wisdom, the strength, the tantric energy and all of that stuff.

It's so interesting because in modern Hinduism, it's all about, like, the trifecta. It's like Durga, Saraswati, Lakshmi. And Kali is like, yeah, you come to her for like, Shiva. It's like destruction, chaos, but also rebirth. But I would have never thought, like, motherly energy, Kali. I would be like, no.

My father never ever calls her. I've never heard him calling her as Kali or Goddess. He always calls her as mat of mother, right? Like, I would get confused. Is he talking about his mom or Goddess Kali? Because he. He. For him, it's so natural to call her Ma. He never ever called her a goddess or. And I remember when I started meditating on her, I had this challenge. How could I meditate on Goddess Kali? I'm this, you know, young kid. I used to find her very powerful, very attractive. So I was like, how do I meditate on this? Larger than life kind of figure out, right? And I used to be very confused and scared. And he said. He said, you know, when you communicate with your mother, most of the times you don't even need to say the words. She just gets you. She's like, I know what you need. I know why you are not happy. And he said, you've got to build a relationship with these energies. You cannot see them as gods and goddesses. And then you will create a distance. So treat her as a friend, as a mother. Treat her as, as. As someone who you could access, you know? And that's how I started seeing her as this motherly form. And trust me, these are energies. These are conscious energies. They would channel what you, you know, meditate. So you could meditate on Kali for wisdom. You'll get the wisdom. You can meditate on her for poetry. You will find poetry through her. And it's fascinating. That's what tantra is, that it's not about one energy. It's about chanting, channeling all of who you are.

Exactly. Yeah. I just probably close. Before this episode, I did an episode all about, like, the shadows and going into your anger and your fear and your insecurity. And I discussed the OSHO dynamic meditation and how, you know, a lot of what spirituality has turned into is like, be positive all the time. Be the light, light worker. Light, light, light. And it's like, no, in order to step into that light, you have to step into your shadows. And I think that's what tantra is all about, right?

It is best part of t. You do not repress anything. You do not suppress any part of who you are, but channel. Accept everything in your personality, your anger, ego, greed, desires, but channel those into higher consciousness totally. Meditations are focused, customized based on that way. So when you asked about knowing your technique for the writer, it's such, it's such customized way of, you know, channeling that technique. Like, I cannot say, oh, for a writer, just do this every day. There's so much depth that it's like if I say I have allergy, you can't say, just start taking this herb.

Right, right.

It's just so much depth into it. And what I learned about my own journey through Tantra was I should not be suppressing any part of me. I should be channeling my anger, my ego, my greed. Because these are, these are very much parts of me. They don't come from outside, you know, I mean, I haven't come across a human being who doesn't have a desire, who doesn't have greed, who doesn't have ang. Anger. Right. So Tantra says if you fight with it, it's going to fight back. But if you channel it nicely, then it's going to be your friend. And you can only transform your friends. You cannot transform an enemy.

So when you say like, I feel like we have so much to talk about. So when you say channel your anger, would you recommend someone who's in the heat of their anger that they go and start writing that book at that time? Or would you recommend breathing and calming it down? Like, what is the time? One trick way, the tantric way.

So Tantra says, anger is not the problem. The, it's a symptom. Anger is telling you something deep about yourself. So if you could, in that moment of anger, of course, take few deep breaths and go deeper into the root cause of anger. Why you are angry because you know what happens with, you know, most people. We get angry on something, then we calm down, then we feel guilty and regret about that anger.

Right.

Then we promise ourselves I'm never ever going to be angry again. But the same situation happens and then you're angry again. Then same cycle happens because we are not going to the root problem. So let's take example. You make food for me and I get angry. Why did you make this food? I don't like the nuts in my food. I get allergy, I'm angry at. It looks like I'm angry at the food, but deep down I'm scared of my health. And that's why I'm getting angry. So the problem is not you or the food. The problem is my fear about my health, which probably is the fear of my death.

Right.

Or my sickness.

Exactly.

So there's a different story, you know, playing in the background, but what's being shown outside is a different story. So Tantra says, go deep into that story. Go deep into the roots of your awareness, because what you're seeing is not what. What that's actually happening.

Totally.

It's a very shallow version of what's the reality. Does that make sense?

Yeah. No, totally. And in Tantra, I wonder, do they have this theory of ancestral baggage, of that you might be angry about something that happened to your ancestors or even something in your past life that you've just been born with? Do they have that concept?

They do, because I think the whole Indian tradition, they have a big belief in reincarnation and all that stuff. So, yeah, if you are picking up the good part of your ancestors, of your forefathers, then you're also picking their bad parts, for sure. Right. So, for example, I inherited so many much from my grandpa. The. He loved poetry. I love poetry. He was into writing. I'm into writing. And there's so many good things that I picked. And there's another thing that I do. So I'm not a very socializing person. And my parents never forced me to. I mean, my father maybe sometime because he's a very socializing person, but my mom never did. And, you know, for example, if there are guests in my home, I could sit in this room, never walk to that room, and I wouldn't even think, there are, like, 50 people in that room, and I need to see them. I would just do my thing. It wouldn't bother me that I need to see them.

Right.

And I asked my mom once that, you know, I'm so glad you never, you know, forced me to.

That's amazing.

And she said, I've seen your grandfather doing this, like, for his entire life. He would only come out if he really feels he would mingle with only selective people. And even as a guru, he wouldn't be out there talking and giving lectures every day. He would come out only on selective days, and he would meet people and then again go back into his zone. And he wasn't a very outgoing person, but he gave his wisdom, his knowledge, his blessings, his readings to everyone who needed.

Right.

But in his own way.

Right.

And she said, we have seen you this when. Even when you were a little kid. When I was in first grade. So it's very, you know, inside joke in my family. I was in first grade and I, I was sitting outside my home and someone came and they said, why you're sitting outside? I said, there's, you know, crazy amount of people in my house. There's no space for me. And there were two guests in the home. So she said, my mom said, I knew then this guy is going to be a copy of his grandfather.

Wow.

So I know if I picked his spirituality, if I picked his love of poetry, also picked his introversion. Exactly.

And that's so beautiful. And for anyone who's a parent, just to accept your kid as they are, like, I wish my parents, I'm sure many of you listening are like, I wish my parents did that. But it was like they sculpt you into what they want you to be. So I think that's for any parent listening, notice the child's nature and maybe is it related to someone you know, your, your own parents?

I think for me, that played a huge role. Unconditional acceptance from my grandma, my mother, that, you know, shaped a lot of my journey. I, I, I, I'll admit I did have, and I still do. There's a little pressure of being my father's son because he has such a strong following. And even though my father doesn't follow, put that pressure on me, right. His students, his people, they put that on me or his son for sure. And when I started, right, talking about this kind of stuff, you're talking about love, sex, death, they would ask me, does, does Guruji know? Does uncle know you're talking about this stuff?

So your dad, even with the tantric tradition, doesn't talk about this stuff.

He does, but in his own gentle way.

Got it.

And he tells me many times that I may not be able to talk about a particular topic, but you can, can, because he knows, you know, if.

He talks, is he in India?

He divides his time in India and New York. So he's definitely one of the teachers that still talks very openly about these things. But many, many other teachers, they do not talk about the reality of, you know, the sex and death through tantra because they feel it may rub people off in wrong ways.

For sure. And I mean, in India, there's still so much of this, like you can't talk about things.

And he, I mean, for example, Navaratri, starting from Tomor tomorrow, which is the nine nights of meditation and enlightenment, you know, practice in tantra and people fast in India for these nine days. And I make sure I record a video Or I write a blog post every year for last five years that do not fast for nine days. And a lot of my friends who are in India or who know my father and me, they always, like, uncle is always saying you should be fasting, or you are saying you don't need to fast. But I'm not simply saying, saying it. I, I, you know, explain the whole thing about it. Because fasting, my, my perspective on fasting is you should not stop eating food and hope that you'll be enlightened in these nine days.

Do they eat at night or they just don't eat?

They eat. They don't. It's not that eating at the night thing. It's. I think you can eat once a day and you have fruits all day. It's like that kind of fasting. But my view is you, if you stop eating with the hope that it's going to change, it's going to have some shift in your consciousness that's not going to happen. If you want to make a shift through the food, then it has to be a daily discipline. Not for nine days. You'll fall sick if you do that in nine days.

Right.

Number two, if you meditate consistently every day, you will not be tempted for all kinds of aggressive foods anyway.

Right.

So focus on meditation more and then start eating mindfully. Right. Switching yourself for these nine days, that's not going to help at all.

Yeah. I mean, I would see a lot in India, people have like, oh, Tuesdays, I fast for Ganesh. Like, I do that. Then they're drinking alcohol on all the other days. Ganesh doesn't care. He just wants you to be good all the time.

And that, that used to annoy me. It still annoys me. It's Tuesday, so I'm not eating meat. But Wednesday, I'm going to just kill the whole goat and eat.

Exactly.

It's, it doesn't make sense. If you like eating meat, go for every day. If you, if you don't like it, if you. Then Tuesdays or Wednesday shouldn't make a difference. I mean.

Right, right. It should just come from within. So what I'm curious about is, you know the Dalai Lama, who I think of as the most, like, gentle, like, never talk about sex person. And he wrote the forward of your book. Had he read your book? Like, what is his whole view on tantra?

I mean, obviously he surprised me with the forward. I wasn't even planning for the forward.

How did that whole. Can you tell us the story of how that happened?

Yeah. I mean, you Know, my editor, the publisher, they said, you know, make it. This is the time I got an email one day. This is the time, Chandrash, that you start making a dream list about whom we want for endorsement. And the word was dream list. So my first, you know, reaction was Hollywood. I live in Hollywood. I have clients in Hollywood. So, yeah, I'll get someone, right? So I had this, you know, very close friend who was, you know, friends with someone really huge. You know, he's not a celebrity, he's not in Hollywood, but he's a huge guy in his. In his journey. Everybody knows him. I was like. And that person, the common friend, was very close to me. She was very close to him also. And I mentioned that I'm thinking he's spiritual and he's just so influential, so big that his endorsement will help.

I feel like I know who it is, but I won't say it.

So. And she. She had a smile on her face. It was a smile. Oh, that's very cute, Chandrash. It's your first book, and you. You want that big guy, right? And I, the. The Leo in me, you know, I'm a Leo. So Leo people take these things very personally. I. I don't do it now as much, but that was like, three years ago, four years ago.

What do you mean?

My first book. Like, what do you mean? And I see that smile. I know you're laughing that, oh, he's already thinking, or he could get that person as endorsement. So. But that was my huge. I was depending on that endorsement in a big way. So when I saw that reaction, I was like, oh, I'm sure she's not going to make it happen. She's not going to work for it. So I need to work on my own onto this. But I still won't compromise. It's a dream list, so that dream will still come true. And I remember I meditated that night. Next early morning, I called my father. I said, you know, this is the email I got, and I honestly want Dalai Lama and Deepak Chopra for the book. And I said, deepak Ji is here, you know, so I. I'll reach out to him when the time comes. But Dalai Lama is far away in India, and I don't even know the protocol. I mean, I knew Deepak Ji and Malika already. So I was like, I'll approach them. But Dalai Lama seems like a way more complicated task.

And had you met him ever before?

Yeah, because I grew up in Punjab, in Pathankot, which was an hour away from Dharamshala. So I used to play in his monastery as a kid. We never thought he's the Holiness. His Holiness Dalai Lama.

Right.

I got to know about his power way later. But as a kid in India, we all thought, he's just. He's just a cute uncle who wears this, you know, red robes because he, he would always smile. And when I, you know, met him, he would. He would be just normal, humble guy. And I remember I was in India, this was around 12th grade, and we were coming back from school, and there was a entourage of cars, like, 15 cars just passed with security and all. And we were like, who just, who just went from here? And then we got.

That uncle, like.

Dalai Lama is like, Dalai Lama, that Dharamsala guy, he has this, this kind of security. And then I started seeing on airports, on traffic signals, that he's exempted from all security checks. He's on the level of president security in India. Like, oh, my God, that's. That's awful.

He's like the reincarnation of the Buddha.

And that just, you know, shifted my. And, you know, funny thing is, if I knew him as that uncle, I would have reached out to him anytime. But I got. I mean, when I got to know his power, I was obviously very conscious of this, but I still made this. I reached out to his office. I, you know, wrote this letter to his office. And I wasn't expecting any response, but after a month or so, I got response. We need your whole background, like, your writing background. And I sent them the. I used to write for Times of India in a column called Speaking Tree. And Dalai Lama also used to write for Speaking Tree. So I sent that cuttings and I sent the whole book outline. Another two months later, they responded that they got to know about my lineage. My grandfather is very known in the traditional Indian, you know, parts. So they got to know about my grandfather, and then they got to know about my dad. You know, he's practicing. So that I think made. Made them a little more. That added more trust in the whole thing. And also then after the outline, they asked for the, the whole manuscript.

Right.

And I felt something is moving. For sure.

For sure.

Right. And. Yeah, and amazing.

You had all these, like, months to.

Oh, I, I was, I, I was willing to delay the book for his, for his forward. I, I, When I started getting the response, I got greedy that now I want him, you know, for sure. I wasn't expecting. But once, you know, you have a taste of it, I was like, I.

Need to make this happen.

I was willing to do anything that it takes.

Yeah.

And I was also, in my head, I was prepared. If I need to travel for one day to India, I'll do that for sure. So it just happened very organically. It took almost a year. And I was surprised. The forward he wrote, I thought he probably. I don't know if he wrote it or he read the book or not, but what he wrote in the forward, I mean, he has to read the book to write that kind of forward. So I was very touched. My reaction was very numb. Honestly, when I got to know, I got email from, you know, his. His, you know, student who was in touch with me said, you know, he has written the forward. So I was numb. And he said, how do we deliver it to you? I said, do not courier it. Do not FedEx it. I'm going to have a person travel to you to pick it up.

Oh, he wrote it by hand.

It was a full stamped with his signature and all. So I had someone who traveled from New Delhi to Dharamsala who picked it up. And I met him after that. I mean, it was unbelievable. And I didn't believe it until I held the paper in my hand. I was numb for months. I think I didn't express in laughing or crying. I was just numb.

You know, it's this amazing feeling of when something that, like, you almost feel like your whole life you were waiting for and it happens, right? And, like, you're excited. You're excited, but part of you is like, I knew this would happen. And I think that creates this feeling of numbness of, like, now what?

Exactly.

I know exactly how you feel.

It changed the whole journey of my book, you know, like, I'm sure you feel that with Deepak Ji's endorsement, it changed everything about. About, you know, your book's journey and.

And your. And your life's journey.

Exactly. It made me feel more responsible toward what I'm doing. I mean, already I had the responsibility from my lineage that I come from this lineage. I got to, you know, do my best, put my heart and soul into this journey. And then he shows up, and I was like, you know, and he hasn't written a forward in more than seven years. So that's what surprised me.

Not alone for someone so young, like, who knows if he's ever written one for someone as young.

Yeah, he didn't.

And how old were you when the book came out?

I was, I think, 27 or 28.

Yeah.

But when I reached out to him, I was even younger.

Right.

So.

Well, I'm 26.

So you're 26. Right. So I was probably around 26 when I reached out to him. So I had my, my shares of, you know, concern that he wouldn't even entertain. Probably my letter will go into trash.

Exactly. Yeah.

But it took, you know, almost a year of patience. A lot of people supported me in this experience, you know, because I was in la, I wasn't in the Himshala, so I had to, you know, just rely on a lot of people to make the communication easier, better. So many people. I thanked everybody in the book because there were many people who supported this, for sure.

Well, I think, you know, the universe provides you with that exact person that you needed to get the book out there.

Right.

And, you know, having, having His Holiness, the Dalai Lama is just immediately, people are gonna be like, okay, this isn't just some guy's thoughts. Like, this is something that really must make sense if, if he's supporting it. And, and what I think is so amazing is that Dalai Lama read this book about something that's so different from Buddhist tradition. I mean, he's a celibate guy, and the book's about, like, say yes to your. Your desires.

Exactly. But, you know, I, I, I had this one belief that because I'm not blindly encouraging, you know, a casual sex or of tantra, I had this belief that if he reads the book, he would respect what I've written.

Right.

Because only an authentic monk can understand this. And the forward he wrote, he mentioned all of that. That he said, Buddha talked about these things, that acceptance of these things is so important. And that impressed me about Dalai Lama because the whole world sees him as this celibate monk, and he's, like, super traditional and all, but he surprised me.

Yeah. And even in Buddhist tradition, you know, you have the monk path, but you have the householder.

Exactly.

And the household. Their path is not to be celibate, not to shave your head, not to go into the mountains. And he's not telling everyone to be a monk. That's what he is as the, as the teacher.

Exactly. And I thank Dalai Lama literally every day in my meditations, because I remember before the book came out, I would be holding a gathering or if I'm a guest, for someone's meditation, and they would say, oh, he has a book coming out. And they all smile and they have a good reaction, but then they say, oh, he has a forward by Dalai Lama. There's a in the crowd, like, oh, my God, this is Rockstar. Dalai Lama's energy. You know, I have so Much gratitude for him. He could have rejected me. I wouldn't have taken even 1% of.

Offense, because I feel the exact same way with Deepak every single day. I'm like, deepak, wherever you are, I just love you. But what's awesome is I can text him, Right. Dalai Lama is even more. Way more hard to get.

I know. It's. That was my fear after I got him. Then I had so much, you know, gratitude for him. And then I approached Deepak. But he was very kind, very, very receptive to this. And he. He's a very emotional energy for me. You know, Deepak's energy for me is a very fatherly emotional energy. I feel that with him for sure. So I'm glad we live in the times where Deepak Chopra and Dalai Lama kind of teachers live.

Definitely. I mean, it's so amazing. And just both of them, like, though they're these esteemed. We'll do another podcast episode about that. But, like, you know, Deepak is almost 70 years old. And how old is Dalai Lama?

I guess it's in 80s for sure, right. 86 or something.

They grew up in. In such a different time than we did.

Right.

And things have changed so much. And I think, you know, what you're doing, breaking the norms is helping, you know, rewrite that story of spirituality. Doesn't have to look like a certain way that we thought of, you know, that it had to look like 50 years ago when they were our age.

Right.

It's going to be different. So I think it's a really important conversation to be having right now.

Exactly.

Yeah. Okay. Amazing. I think it's, like, almost been an hour, and I feel like I can keep on talking so many things. So for people out there who are listening and, you know, they have an idea of a book, they want to take this more spiritual path. They don't know where to start. What do you recommend for them to.

Start the spiritual path.

And they have an idea. I get so many emails from people. I want to write a book. I don't know where to start the book. Yeah.

I would say, you know, first thing is never write a book because you. You want to write a book because it's part of your resume.

Right.

Right. Write a book because you really want to express something, because then the book will be effortless.

Right.

You know, it will come out very effortlessly, I would say, which, you know, I. I didn't know that before. I was thinking of writing the book first, but I got to know you got to plan the outline the proposal. First. Right, right. I'm sure you went through the same route. Right. So who, who want to plan the book? Number one thing is you, you have to be super clear about what kind of book it is, what problem it is going to solve for people and how it relates to your story. And then create a very, you know, then create an outline that speaks to you. You shouldn't be forcing yourself to write it. Once the outline is done, then you could nowadays Google a full template of a book proposal, create the whole book proposal. And I think that's more than half of the battle won totally. And once the proposal is prepared, then you could just seek out a good book agent, which are not complicated nowadays.

Right.

I mean, there were days when people had to buy books to find emails of book agents. You know, nowadays you could just actually Google them, connect with them on LinkedIn or Facebook. Yeah, there's so many ways. And also now we have a self publishing industry which is, you know, thriving in its own big way. So if you really, you know, feel the need to bring out your book. A lot of people I know, they have published their first book on their own.

And that's what I was planning on doing with my first book too, because I didn't, I didn't, you know, it's very hard to get a literary agent to respond to it.

And you got such a, such a, you know, big publisher.

Right. So. Yeah, but it's. Exactly. It's pretending you have that book deal and writing, writing that outline, doing the market research, pretending you have that book deal. And I had a finished book when I started talking to publishers.

Oh really?

Yeah, it ended up I wrote a different book for that. But just the fact that they can see, like, wow, you can actually bring something to fruition, not have an idea.

Exactly. And my belief is, Sahara, that if you, if you have a, if you have your heart poured out in the book, it doesn't matter what publisher you have or if you don't have a publisher, your book will reach out to people. Yes, good. Nobody can stop a good content.

Exactly.

So focus on the content. Do not focus on anything else when you start the journey.

Yeah, I totally agree. People are often caught up. I don't have a big enough social media following. I think of so many books like you are a badass by Jen Sincero. Do you know that book? It's huge. It's like a spiritual book, but it's like more kind of modern. And the book was out for three years and then through word of mouth, like suddenly it became now it's been a New York Times bestseller for the. The past like 90 or 100 weeks. Number one, three years after it came out.

Wow.

So it goes to show that if you have amazing content, eventually people are going to find it and it will rise.

Your vibe attracts your tribe. Once you bring it out, you just start getting people who gel with your message.

Totally. Yay. Well, we have to write a book, right?

It must be the mangoes.

Yes, it must be the mango. Is why everything you're doing, you're blaming on something else. You're not looking at the real problem. I love that. So how can people connect to you and find you?

People could log on to my website, cbmeditates.com or CP CB. My initials, cbmeditates.com and if they can, you know, be brave enough to spell my name, find me on social media on Instagram and. And Facebook, and I'll have all those.

Links in the show notes, too.

Okay. So they don't have to be brave enough to spell the name anyway. Okay. So, yeah, social media is a great way to connect. Connect. My website has my speaking schedule, my retreat schedule.

And you teach weekly at the Den.

I teach weekly in LA and I do talks elsewhere. So I'm. I'm going to Florida next. Next month is Florida. Then I'm launching my Spanish edition in Barcelona.

Amazing.

Yeah. And then I'm going to India for a retreat, then Mexico, then Italy for a retreat. So I'm traveling every month.

Wonderful.

So for next six months. So, yeah, jump onto my website. It has all the information.

Perfect. And people can find a meditation from you on your website as well. Right? Amazing. Well, thank you so much for taking the courage to leave, you know, a high paying, corporate, cushy job that people, especially in India, work their asses off to get. Leaving that and saying, you know what? I'm gonna step into the unknown and follow my Dharma. Which led you to Dalai Lama's endorsement and so many other thousands of people all around the world. So I just want to acknowledge you for. Yeah, for listening to that call and the work that you're doing in the world and just teaching all of us.

Thank you. I'm grateful. And thank you for the great podcast.

Oh, of course. I'm sure people have tons of questions after listening. And for Those watching on YouTube, Namaste.

Sam.