053: How To Complete Everything On Your Bucket List: Interview with Ben Nemtin of The Buried Life

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. I have a really serious question for you guys. What do you want to do before you die? I know it's not a question we like to ask ourselves, but after you listen to this episode, you just may so. I'm obsessed with this interview. It really inspired me and I know you guys are going to love it. Ben Nemton, he is an incredible Canadian producer. He's a writer. He created this TV series on MTV with his friends called the Buried Life, all about fulfilling your body bucket list. He's also the co author of a book called what do youo Want to Do before youe Die? Which quickly became a number one New York Times bestseller. So he's going to share with us a lot of his wisdom today. And before we get started, I want to give you a little bit of a note from my bucket list. And before we get started, I want to share with you a product that's going to make your bucket list a little bit easier to fulfill. And that is Four Sigmatic. Four Sigmatic is a mushroom coffee elixir. They've basically taken medicinal mushrooms and made them really easy to consume. They have all sorts of mushrooms from Reishi to Chaga to cordyceps to lion's mane. If you have no idea what any of those mean, listen to episode 48, I interview the founder, Taro, and he's an amazing source of information and inspiration about mushrooms. So I've been drinking the Reishi mushroom every day. It's really good for healing your body from stress, from adrenal fatigue, just chilling your whole system out, which I can just say we all need a little bit of that. They also have an amazing coffee one which is probably their most popular. It's a mushroom coffee that gives you natural energy from lion's mane and cordyceps, which actually improve the amount of oxygen you can get in your lungs, but it mixes it in with some instant coffee. So you're still getting that coffee flavor and taste, but you're not getting that energy rise and crash the same way that you would with regular coffee. So I absolutely love it. They have some new flavors too. I just tried their Matcha and it has the mushrooms, matcha, ginger, all this goodness together. So many great ones. Their Chaga is really amazing. It's actually really anti candida. I could go on for days, but if you want to try it for yourself, Four Sigmatic is offering A discount for all highest self podcast listeners. All you have to do is go on4sigmatic.com Sahara and you'll get a 15% discount. I definitely recommend getting the Reishi for sure. Get it. So again, four sigmatic F O U R S I G M a t I c.com Sahara S a h a r a and get your 15% off discount. So now let me share with you a few things on my bucket list. Well, definitely going to the Great Barrier Reef. I've always wanted to do that. The pyramids in Egypt. Yeah, like a lot of people want to go out of outer space. I mean we talk about how he literally sent like his book outer space, but I'm like more interested and going under the ocean. So definitely just like living in the deep sea. Just like seeing what goes on there. Definitely on my bucket list. What else? Meeting Oprah, winning a Nobel Peace Prize. So many things. Right. I actually wrote a list of a hundred things after listening to Ben's talk. So if you really guys want to get into it, we can share it on the Mind Body Balancers Facebook group. We can all share what our bucket lists are and compare and try to make them happen to each other. So I love this interview because he shows us how something like fulfilling your bucket list, which seems super hard and complex and over the top and never gonna happen, how actually you can make it happen through the power of voicing what you want. So if you learn one thing from this episode, it's the power of sharing your dreams and your visions with other people because it's taking that first step to making that a reality. So, you know, we hear about the secret and all of these manifestation things, but really the secret is if you share what you want, you're gonna with someone who may have that or know someone that does or something like that. And Ben explains this concept really beautifully in this episode. So it's so inspiring for all of us to just go after our dreams and make it happen and not let ourselves have any excuses. I mean, you're going to hear some of the things that him and his friends pulled off in this episode. You're going to be dying of laughter. So without further ado, welcome to Ben Nemden. So welcome Ben, to the Highest Self podcast. It's so good to have you here.

It's good to be here in sunny Santa Monica overlooking the beach.

Yes. So glad. And he just met Chubby and obviously loves him like everyone else.

Yes.

So the first question that I want to ask you, that I ask everyone is what makes you your highest self?

I think. I mean, it's sort of a simple answer, but when I'm doing what I love is definitely the time that I feel the most alive. And I sort of realized lately that not just because it makes me feel good, Great. But also because I can see the impact it has on other people. So when you do what you love, you inspire other people to do what they love just by being, you know, like, that person that you are. And so that's sort of this. I've had this cool realization of that lately that you don't know what that ripple effect is when you really just do what you love. But I'll get into my story. But, like, I started sort of what I was doing because my friend was doing something that was really, really cool that inspired me.

Right.

So. So you get triggered by these people that are doing incredible things, and for the most part, that's usually someone that's doing something that they love. So when I'm doing what I love is when I feel my highest self.

I love that. And I think a lot of people think the only way they can, like, help the world is, like, give themselves up to service and, like, suffer the whole time. It's like, no, you living up being your highest self makes everyone else rise up too.

Totally. It's the ultimate win. Win. You just get to do what you love and, you know, you will ultimately inspire other people. And I think there's that sometimes that misconception that you have to be a martyr to help other people, but you can't help other people unless you take care of yourself. You know, like, I was just talking with a bunch of nurses about this, and burnout is such a huge thing in the health industry and. And with doctors and nurses and, you know, just talking about, look like you. You have to take care of yourself if you're taking care of other people first. And that's not a selfish thing. That's the only way you can take care of other people. So that kind of translates over to just, you know, just general your life and your passions and stuff like that and doing what you love. And I think that you sort of, without knowing it, will inspire a lot of people just by doing that. And that's what's happened to me.

Yeah.

You know, so it's an interesting realization because it's great, right?

It's like, wait, this can actually work? And you actually have built that into your model of what you guys did, which I'll ask you about later. So you're at this beautiful place where you realize this, but you haven't always been here. So can you share with us a little bit about the backstory and where you started from before the whole buried life project began?

So I was graduating high school and when I was going into university, I was, I was in a really good place. Like, I had just got an academic scholarship to a great university in Canada. I grew up in Victoria, bc. Great group of friends, loving family, and I had just made the U19 national Canadian rugby team. And this was a big deal because rugby is huge in Canada. And so I was really excited. And I played fly half, which for those of you that don't know rugby is like the quarterback and the field goal kicker in one position. So life was good for me. And the downside with, you know, making this team was there was a lot of pressure, especially in my position, because of what I was doing, field goals and, you know, sort of running the plays. And we were training for the World cup in France and I started worrying about my kicks. I started getting anxiety at night thinking about the games and I wasn't able to sleep. And this kind of started this downward spiral for me where I couldn't sleep and I started to get depressed. And this depression sort of crippled me to the point where I could, couldn't go to school, I couldn't leave the house. I ultimately dropped out of school because I just physically couldn't go. I got dropped from the rugby team because I couldn't go to practice. And I was really like caged in my parents home to the point where they would just encourage me to get out for a walk every day. And I would go outside and ultimately hide in the driveway, pretend that I had gone for a walk and then come back. And it was a really terrifying time for me because I had never experienced anything like this. I had been, you know, riding high my entire life up at this point and all of a sudden everything had come crashing down and I'd lost everything. I wasn't hanging out with my friends. I didn't have rugby, I didn't have, you know, I wasn't going to school. My future, I couldn't even see it. Everything was dark. My parents were. Didn't know what to do and I was really scared, really scared. And this lasted about six months, three to six months. And that summer my friends came to the house and they were moving to a new town for the summer to work. And so they literally pulled me out of the house and they said, you're coming with us, you Know, pack my bags and brought me against my will to this new town. And I started, I got a job, I started meeting new people, and slowly but surely I started to feel something and then feel back to myself, feel some self worth. Started getting inspired by other people that I met, people that had started businesses and people that had traveled the world, you know, and I, this is coming from high school. You come from high school, your sample size of friends is small. You don't get to choose who you hang out with. So all of a sudden, I was exposed to wide breadth of people and I was getting really fired up about all the people that I met. And I, you know, at the end of that summer, started feeling back to myself. And when I came back from that summer away, I made a decision. In the, in the car ride home, I said, I'm only gonna surround myself with people that inspire me, like the people that I just met. And that decision completely changed my life. Took me down a path where I would unintentionally inspire people and also learn the greatest lessons of my life and go just down this journey where I really did not expect to be going down. I was in kinesiology at school, and so I ended up dropping out of school throughout this whole journey. So I came back and I was like, okay, who of my friends do I want to hang out with? And there was one kid that I grew up near who was a filmmaker. And I called him, I said, and I knew him because he took my sister to prom. And I said, johnny, let's make a movie. Like, how fun would that be? And he said, I just got back from Cuba with my friend Dave. And I said, I know Dave. Johnny's older brother Duncan was also in the neighborhood. So I called him. And so basically these three friends and I started talking about making a documentary. And we didn't know what it was going to be about. We just knew that we had all these things that we wanted to do and we weren't doing them. And as we were having this conversation, Johnny got assigned a poem in English class at University in McGill called the buried Life. And in that poem, there were four lines that he brought back to us. And these lines basically articulated this feeling that we were feeling that we have all these things that we want to do, but they get buried. They get buried by school, by work, by the day to day. And you have these moments of inspiration when you feel like you have everything under control and you know where you're going. And then that, like, compass gets buried by the day to day and you forget about it. And so we thought, wow, this poet, 150 years ago wrote this poem and he's talking about this feeling we're feeling. We're clearly not the first people to feel like this. Let's take this name, the buried life, and let's, you know, basically let's create something around that. And so we thought, how do we unbury ourselves?

And.

And we decided to make this list of all the things we'd ever wanted to do, this sort of the greatest bucket list of all time. And we were going to go after this bucket list. And every time we crossed something off our list, we were going to help a stranger that we met along the way do something that they wanted to do. So we crossed something off our list and helped someone else do something they want.

What did you think of that?

Well, it finally came out of this question that we asked ourselves, which is, what do you want to do before you die? Because we like, how do we unbury ourselves? And the thought of death was the only thing that shook us enough to think about what was important. So we're like, okay, we're not going to be here forever, but we forget about that. So to remind ourselves, we're going to ask, we're going to be like, okay, you're going to die. What do you want to do? And out of that question came this list of the things that we'd always wanted to do. And we just pretended that we could do anything. When we made this list, we never made it with the intention of actually doing it. We just made it, pretended we could do anything, got it, and we put it down. And you know, over the next 10 years, these things started falling off the list. And so we just kind of scraped together enough money to go on a two week road trip before we went back to school the next summer, bought an rv, bought a camera on ebay, made our list and put it online and just went for a road trip. Okay, let's cross things off, let's help people as we go. And what happened next was this mix of luck and magic and this. People started hearing about our list and they wanted to help us. And then people started sending us their dreams, like, hey, can you guys help us cross off skydive or sing a duet with Michael Buble or fly a fighter jet or whatever. And it had this sort of. It hit a nerve, I guess. And so it's, I guess it just resonated with, with people and they wanted to help us, they wanted help with their list. And so this Two week road trip. We got back from the road and we just had to keep going, you know. And so it lasted, it has lasted like 10 years, this journey continues, of crossing things off our list, helping other people and delist items continued to sort of get bigger, make a TV show, write a best selling book. And all of a sudden these things that we thought were impossible started falling off the list. But yeah, it's funny that it all started in this really dark, dark place for me. And it's funny, I was listening to one of your other podcasts and you were saying how the struggles you have make you who you are, but also kind of equip you to be empathetic, help other people, you know, in a lot of ways, they're your greatest gifts. And I think that's, I think that's really true. Not just, you know, the straightforward sort of idea that if you struggle with something, then you can really, like, you can help other people struggling with that thing. But I think just it gives you a depth that you wouldn't have otherwise where you're just empathetic.

Right.

With other people that they may not even be struggling with the same thing you're struggling with, but something or, and you're just, you've, you've been there in some way, shape or form. And you can be there for them in some way, shape or form. But you know, I think that it's, it doesn't feel like that in the moment, but when you look back, I think that's often the case.

Absolutely. Yeah. Like, I love the saying, like, make your mess your message. And like, that's exactly what you did. And going from this place of like, absolutely no purpose to like living a life and teaching others to lead lives of purposes. So I think that's just so, so beautiful. And I think there's not a single person who hasn't struggled. Like, everyone has a struggle in their own way, but sometimes it's, you know, it just shows up way more in your face than other times. And other times it's just like they think it's normal to be living lives of constant struggle. So from a spiritual perspective, they would say that this was all part of your dharma. This is, you know, that whole bout of depression and anxiety had to happen to you for you to be able to rise up from it, rest, recognize it, and be able to see, this is not how I want to live my life. So they would say your soul chose that experience so you could overcome it and now be where you are right now.

Yeah, yeah, it's interesting. And I think that now more than ever, we're really in a crisis when it comes to the mental health of our country and, you know, the world, and it's. We're at a place where it's, you know, there's shocking statistics, like someone commits suicide every 15 minutes, you know, 16 minutes in the US and that's just, like, a devastating thing to think about. And I think a lot of, you know, you start thinking, well, what do I do about that? And I think that there's a lot of power in changing the narrative around what people think mental health is and the conversations that can or cannot happen around it. And just by promoting healthy conversations around, I think breaking that stigma can really move the needle. And you say, like, everybody struggles. It's like, that's the truth. You know, almost everyone will struggle with mental illness at some point in their life. And, you know, one in five people struggle with it consistently. And I think that it's not even on the people that are struggling to help break that stigma. It's on everyone else to just make other people feel okay, that they are struggling with it and they can talk about it. And that's just like, if you see someone that looks down, just like, asking them, how you doing? Are you okay? Just a simple olive branch can, like, save someone's life totally. And just by having this conversation, I think that it. It just helps normalize a little bit enough so that people don't think. I don't want people to think I'm crazy. I don't want people to think I'm. I'm weird or I'm weak. And especially in guys, for sure. Like, guys are brought up, you know, with this idea that in order to be a man, you have to be strong. You know, you can't talk about your feelings. You can't ask for directions. You know, it's sort of. It's a stereotype, but it's really true. And so the irony is that it's not just wrong, it's backwards. You know, like, to be a man is to have the strength to talk about your vulnerabilities, and that will help other people. And that is something that has been, you know, the opposite has been ingrained in us for so long. So that's why you see guys, you know, taking their own life five times the amount as females. And it's really, really tragic. So, you know, I think that as I open up about this, more and more I see, you know, more and more people come up and sort of share what they're going through and sort of realize that, like, this is really something that is important to talk about. Absolutely. And so that's what I've been speaking about lately and just trying to get that message out there.

I love that. So what were like, what was like one of the things on your bucket list that you were like, this cannot happen. And it actually happened.

Probably play basketball with President Obama.

Yeah, this is like an amazing story.

Yeah, yeah. So we put it on the list as a joke. You know, like growing up in Canada, there was never something that we thought that we could do. Right. Like, it was just sort of felt like the most impossible thing.

Right.

And we basically just decided to drive down to D.C. and try and play basketball with him.

Right.

Which is kind of the most absurd idea. And we didn't have any connections to the White House, so we just asked people on the street if they knew the president and that obviously went nowhere. But we, we did realize that you could contact your local congressman because a lot of politicians information is listed publicly.

Right.

So we just contacted them all and we.

I'm not your citizen, but I don't.

Live in your state or your country.

Yes.

But here's what we want to do and we, we kind of like explain why we wanted to do this. We sort of were like, look, if four regular guys can play basketball with the President is a message to all youth that like, anything is possible.

Right.

And so we essentially started to campaign in D.C. to play basketball with the President. We take lower level meetings and as those meetings happen, they would pass us on to someone above and like, they would endorse us and.

But like, when you would walk in, they're like, so what do you want to talk about? You're like, I want to play basketball. Like, would they just laugh or.

A lot of people, A lot of people laugh. Yeah. A lot of people would cut the meeting short. But when we were able to explain, like, why we were the, like, the purpose behind it all, you know, some people got on board and then they would, they would either introduce us to someone else or they would give us a tip, or they would make a call to, you know, like a senator or, you know, someone like the secretary of whatever. And so we ended up getting to the Secretary of Transportation and he called the White House, like while we were in the room and just said, hey, I support these gentlemen in their mission. You know, it's very diplomatic. And then we thought we were good. We thought we would just wait for the President to give us a shout and let Us know where to meet him, bring our sneakers. But he didn't. Although we did get an email from the White House that said they denied our request. And at that point we thought, okay, we got to think of a different tact here. And we found out that this guy named Reggie Love was the President's body man, his personal aide at the time. And he actually set up all the games. So he would send a text out to special, you know, people in the administration and say, Thursday night, 7:30 at this location is the game. And we were like, we got to get on that text thread. And so we were able to find out that Reggie worked out at the Y, like in the mornings. And so I would stalk her.

Much.

Yeah, stalker. Very much. And so I would go to the gym at like, 5:30 in the morning looking for Reggie, and of course, like, didn't see him. Right. So we were able to track down his email. And we sent him a bunch of emails saying, like, hey, we've reserved this court you got you and the President should show up. And they didn't show up. And we, at that point, we were like, out of ideas. So we left D.C. and one day I got a blocked call from on my phone and I picked it up and it was Reggie. And he was like, hey, what's this I hear about you wanting to play basketball against the President?

Oh, my God.

And so I explained why we want to do it, and he's like, okay, you know what? I think I can make this happen. Like, give me a couple weeks. I'll go to the communications team because they have to sign off on it. But I think it's like, should be no problem, and I'll get back to you. And so he gets back to us and he's like, talk with the communications team. It's not going to happen. So we denied again. And he, I think he felt bad. So he was like, if you ever come to the White House or come to the D.C. area, let me know. I'll show you the basketball courts. And so we were back in D.C. and he actually, like, was true to his word, showed us the West Wing, showed us the basketball courts, and we were shooting around. And he had sort of mentioned, like, look, I can give you this tour because the President isn't in town. And we were shooting hoops, and all of a sudden the President walked on.

The court and you guys have footage of this too?

Yeah.

And we were filming so good.

And he totally surprised the crap out of us. And we shot hoops with him for like, 15, 20 minutes.

And is he as friendly as he seems?

He is so cool.

Yeah, he seems amazing.

He's like that. You know, your friend's dad in high school, that was like, the cool dad that you would just go hang out with your friend so you could really, like, just, like, hang out with his dad.

Right.

He was so disarmingly charming that you forgot he was the president after a couple minutes.

Right.

And so you just. Like, we were. We were talking trash, like, trying to hit shots that he wasn't hitting. And he was just, like, really warm and a really, really, really awesome, awesome guy.

That's so amazing.

Yeah. Yeah. And it was. It was really that moment when we kind of walked away from that, and we're like, wow, I guess you can really do anything.

Yeah.

Like, that's because when. When we first put it on the list, Johnny, who's one of the other guys, he had just read the Audacity of Hope, and he put it. He called me, and Obama had been elected. This was 2008. And he said, let's put play basketball with the president on the list. And I laughed because, 1. I knew that he was calling me from his friend's laundry room that he rented for $200 a month. And also because it just felt like the most impossible thing that we could ever. And he was like, yeah, but how awesome would it be?

Right?

And so, like, I was like, okay, I can't. Can't really argue with that. Like, we'll put it on.

Yeah.

And writing it down was. Was the first step to getting it done. And that's kind of what we found with these. You know, anything is like, there's really power in writing down your goals and your dreams because you're effectively breathing life into them for the very first time. Because this isn't just an idea.

Yes.

Before you put it down on paper, you're taking something that's intangible, and you're making it tangible. You're making it an idea real by writing it down. And that is the first step to getting it done. You know, it's like the first step to creating accountability, and it becomes something that is not just a thought. Right. So we have the same. There's like, a difference between a dream and a project. We always like to look at our dreams as projects because, like, a dream has a funny way of staying a dream, but a project, you can visualize the steps to getting it done. And I think a lot of people get stonewalled right at the beginning because they're like, I don't even know how I would ever do that. You know, like, they think about the end goal and they're like, that is so far away and unattainable, I don't even know where to start. And writing it down is the first place to start. You know, like, that's how you can really just get the things in motion. And then I think talking about it, like, sharing your goal and dream.

Totally.

Because then people can help you.

Yeah.

If you don't talk about it, no one can help you. And then you're just alone. Try to do it on your own. It's hard.

Yeah. And it's breathing it much more into life. Saying it out loud.

Exactly. That's just a deeper step of accountability. You will be guaranteed. You'll be surprised by who steps up to help you.

Totally.

That's the only way we accomplish. List items.

Yeah.

You know, or any goals now is to ask for help. And you can be strategic in how you do it. You can think about, like, okay, who has a friend that works in politics. Right. For Obama.

Right.

Let's. Let's contact them. Maybe, you know, or dad or somebody, you know, or who interned at the White House. There's. There's always someone that you can get to that will get you to where you want to be. You just have to kind of let go that fear of failure or looking, you know, like a complete crazy person by.

Right.

Voicing your audacious goal. But once you get over that, it's really, you know, comes back in spades.

And I think the fact that with that one basketball game, that 15 minutes, I mean, it was echoed millions of times. It's touched millions of people's lives. And it wasn't just a basketball game. And that's it. That was like the start of this story that's literally shown people that they can do anything. So I think from a bigger context, that was meant to be. That was part of your divine plan because you were the one who's going to go and share it. And you've probably told that story a million times, and still it, like, touches a part of you, and it touches everyone right now listening. So I think from a bigger perspective, it's like you were that perfect person to play that game.

Yeah. I think. I think it was definitely just emblematic of something much bigger for us and for me personally, you know, when you kind of come to that realization, it's one of the most powerful things you can see. You're sort of like this aha moment when you realize that your potential is really limitless. It's whatever you decide to limit yourself is how high you can go. So that translates into. Into really, like, everything that you do. And kind of the same thing with. With the book. I remember we told our publisher that we wanted to make number one on the New York Times list. And they kind of laugh. They're like, well, you know, like, you can't really do that. You know, you're not. You haven't made a. You haven't written a book before. Like, one of our friends in the Buried Life is dyslexic. Like, he failed English. So it's, you know, let's just. Let's just focus on finishing the book, you know, or maybe talk about making the list. But number one is that can't happen. Like, and that was really, like, fuel for us to just figure it out. And we put our. Everything we had into that, into the book and the launch of it. And it debuted number one and then stayed, you know, on the list for. For a couple weeks. And everyone was sort of. Just everyone else was miffed except for us, because we're like, well, yeah, like, if you want to make it happen, you can totally. And so that translates across all aspects in whatever you're doing. Like, and I think, too, like, a lot, obviously, we go after big, audacious goals almost because it's our job. But I don't want people to think that smaller goals are any less important because they're really not at all. You know, I think that as we grow, our list changes, you know, and it becomes. You add things like start a family, you know, like maybe buy a house or be a good son or things like that. You know, make sure to, like, meditate every day or, you know, take quality time with your partner. And the list for. For us, and for me especially, I speak for myself, is less about the list. The list is really a device to remind yourself that these things are important in your life. And hopefully that becomes just second nature, where you don't necessarily need the list, where you just subconsciously are prioritizing the things that you feel are the most important to you. So I think that, like, once you sort of wrap your head around what is a bucket list. A bucket list is really just a list of things that you think will bring you the most joy, purpose, happiness, whatever. That's really what a bucket list is. And the list is really that thing, that device to just remind you that it's there. It could be on a piece of paper. It could be on your Phone. It could be on 20 minutes every Friday on your calendar that you have blocked out to do writing. If you're trying to write a book or, you know, it could be going together with some friends so that you do something together. You go for a bike ride every weekend because you're training for a triathlon. You know, whatever it is that just reminds you not to get buried, I think is the goal. And the list evolves because it's really just this fluid thing where you add things to it and you hopefully just sort of start to live that way, where you're putting the things that are important first, which is so easy to forget.

So easy.

You know, the grind is so never, never ends for sure. It's just a reminder.

So for people who are like, yes, I want to do that. I'm feeling inspired, but I don't know where to start. I know when I heard your talk, me and my friend Maria went home and we wrote our, like, list, but we were just like, I'm like, swimming the Great Barrier Reef. I'm just, like, writing crazy things. But I didn't really do these, like, everyday things. So how do you think people should, like, organize their list? Maybe do, like, half little things, half, like, big things? Do you ever teach about that?

Yeah, so I like to have a list of things that I am trying to do on a daily or weekly basis.

So, like, Sunday, you do, like, your kind of goals of the week?

Yeah, I will. Well, I'll have a couple things that I'm trying to do consistently. So whether it's just, like, things that I want to prioritize. So trying to meditate realistically. Like, I'll try and meditate a couple times a week, even though I'm trying to get to twice a day, try and fit in, not even fit in. Make sure that I do go to the gym, do yoga, some sort of exercise. Then make sure that, like, I don't get swept up with everything else, that I don't have quality time with my girlfriend and friends as well. So those are kind of like, been my pillars lately. Is like, make sure I take alone time and, like, some sort of mindfulness. Make sure that I prioritize exercise, make sure I prioritize quality time with my girlfriend and the people that I love and, like, want to be around, you know, because there's just a lot of events, there's a lot of friends around, and so really like, focusing on those people that you really love. And so I guess that's like my rolling list of things that I Try and do every day or every week. And then I think the big ticket list items, like you said, Great Barrier Reef. I think those are great. Because what you want to do is, like, you. You write those down, and maybe you're not going to go to the Great Barrier Reef next week, Right. Or next month or even next year. But if that's something that you really want to do before you die, you will figure out a way to make it happen by writing it down and committing to that and be like, okay, I. This is something. I want to go diving at the Great Barrier Reef in Australia, or whatever. You commit to that. You've started that process to getting there. And what will happen is something will happen. Like, a friend will say, I just went to Australia, went diving. You're like, oh, my God, I've always wanted to do that. Tell me everything. And they will tell you everything, and they'll give you the spots you need to go, and then you've moved a micro step closer. Then someone else will say, like, oh, there's this conference in Australia, you know, this wellness conference. You should check it out and you should look at it and you'll say, oh, that's what I should do. I should go to that conference. Or you should be like, I should speak at that conference. And then you contact that conference and you say, hey, I'm Sahara. This is my podcast. It's right in line. I want to come speak. Like, I usually charge this fee, but you know what? I'm gonna come for free. Just fly me out. And then to be like, oh, okay, sure, fly you out. And my boyfriend. Fly me and my boyfriend. That's all I ask.

Okay, I don't know what conference this is.

And then, you know, but. And then. Or maybe it's just a conference that you want to go to. And you're like, yes, that's what's going to draw me there.

Yeah.

And then you're in Australia. Like, that is the way that it works like this. The whole secret thing, you know, for me is not, like, putting it out there and then waiting for it to happen.

Right.

The secret is you're talking about it. People are hearing you.

Yeah.

They're going to help you.

Right.

You are putting out what you want to do and actively looking for things that add up to where you want to go. That is what the secret is.

Yes.

And I think that, like, again, just in the first step is. Is writing it down, creating that accountability to yourself and to a community. That's why, like, I met. I did a Talk in Michigan. And a guy came up afterwards and said we. He was in his 50s or something. He said, we have a CEO bucket list group that we meet like every month or something, and we talk about our list and we tell stories about it. And he's like, we stopped doing it. I don't know why we stopped doing it, because just having that one meeting a month just fueled the whole practice of going after those things. Because you. It just keeps you accountable.

Yeah. Yeah. Another guest on the podcast, you said she does, like, a mastermind with, like, two of her friends that every two weeks they just talk on the phone. Each speaks for 20 minutes, just about, like, what's going on in their lives and, like, what their goals are. And they can ask a question, but it's mostly just for them to, like, sit, say it, and two people to hear it. So me and two of my friends started doing that last month, and I, like, love it. And it's so amazing that, like, you know, a friend's having a problem with a website. Oh, I know a lot about websites. And just, like, you don't ask these, like, simple things to your friends. You think you need to, like, hire professional or go do this. And it's like, people around you probably know the answer 100%. Yeah. And I. And I love how your message, what really I love about it is that it's all active. It's like, I think in the whole, like, spiritual community at least, it's a lot of just sitting back and waiting for it to happen. And I lead a program called Doshas and Dharma, and it's about, like, going after your Dharma, your life purpose. And what I hear a lot is people are like, well, I've been hearing a lot of no's, and it's been really hard, so maybe this isn't my purpose. And it's like, no, you're going to hear a lot of no's. You're going to hear no's to level of the strength that you need to overcome those no's. And it's like the. The harder that goal is, the more nos and blocks you're gonna feel. But for you to really, like, rise up and go to the next dream, you need to gain that strength. So I love how it wasn't just like, you wrote down the intention. Obama showed up, you heard, no, no, no. There are a million times you could have given up. You weren't even living in D.C. and you kept going back. So I think that story and just knowing that it's never going to Be an easy road. You're always going to have roadblocks, but.

It'S just passing through those 100% persistence is that's it. You look at successful entrepreneurs, they just don't take no for an answer. And I think that most people give up right before they're going to succeed. And the key, I think is when you're coming up against a consistent roadblock is to step back and get creative about how you're approaching it. Not just because you consistently are hitting the same roadblock and think about it differently as a way to get around it, but if you hear no again and again and again and you're hitting the same roadblock, if you think about a creative solution, like a really out of the box solution, generally what will happen is that will perk the ears of the other person that you're trying to get the attention of. So give me an example. So we, this is a funny example. We wanted to break into the Playboy.

Mansion, not get invited, but break in.

Yeah. So, like, we knew we couldn't get invited and we thought the best way to get in is to make a cake and hide inside and deliver that cake to the mansion, dress and decorate it like it belongs at the party. And it was a Willy Wonka themed party. And we dressed up two of my friends as Willy as Oompa Loompas, put them in the bottom of this big prop cake. So it wasn't like a baked cake, but it was like a prop cake. And hid them in the bottom of the cake, put them, delivered it in a fake Mack truck to the back door.

So you guys rented out these costumes, the truck, found the cake, like, oh, my God.

Got the big Mack truck, delivered it to the back door of the mansion at 5pm, wheeled them up into the back of the mansion with them inside, pushed it up the back of the driveway and left them there. And they were in the bottom of that cake for six hours, waiting for the party to start, not knowing where they were, no communication. And were they, like, kind of like.

Scared or very scared?

Security was coming up, knocking on the cake, like pretending that, like, is there people in here? Is this a joke?

Oh, wow.

And they hid in there. And at midnight, they jumped out and ran in the party and thought that they had maybe 10 minutes before they would get kicked out. But security thought they worked the party because they were dressed up.

Right. So they were just like dancing free reign.

Like, Snoop Dogg was performing, Got up on stage with him, cannonballs into the grotto. Like, totally absurd. Oh, my God. And got out with the footage that we shot, and this is for the show. And afterwards, we realized, like, we have to clear this venue, we have to clear the Mansion to air this.

Right.

And we called the team at, like, publicists and PR at Playboy, and they said, no. Like, no way we're allowing you to show footage of you breaking into Hugh Hefner's house. Like, it's not going to happen. And so MTV told us, you can't. You gotta shoot another episode, but you.

Can put on YouTube.

And we're like, no, this is way too good. So we wrote a handwritten letter with the episode on a DVD to Hugh Hefner. And because we knew where he lived at that time, and so he read it, and we got a message back saying, you can air the episode. Just know that I'm not too happy with you boys. And we know that the reason that he approved it was because it was so outlandish. You know, it was just. It was so out there that it was hilarious.

Yeah.

And.

And did you tell him, like, the purpose of the show, like, inspired the.

And so my long winded way of saying that when you get creative about your roadblocks, people respect them. You know, people respect it when you. When you put yourself out there, when you go outside the box, as long as you're respectful and you're not really, like, pissing people off.

Right, right.

Like, you can't just be bullheaded and just be like, let me do this. Let me do this. Let me do this. You want to, like, think about. Put yourself in their position.

Yeah.

And be okay. What would they. What would they get value out of.

Exactly.

Right. Like, what can I offer them, and how can I do that in a creative way? And for us, with the story that I just told, you know, we were offering, you know, exposure through the show also, you know, that this was a coveted place that you people want to go and that, you know, the Mansion can't lose that, like, that playful, like, spirit. Right. Like, that's what it's about. It's rebellious.

Right. It makes more people want to go.

It was, like, started as a counterculture, you know, thing and that, like, you can't lose that.

Right.

And so I think that that really is something that takes just a bit of thought, a bit of creativity, and people will respect that.

Totally. Yeah.

And I think that. Yeah, I think you. You're just gonna hear no all day.

Right, Right.

And I think that it doesn't always mean no. I think sometimes it means not now or not like this, you know, And I think you just have to think outside the box.

Yes. And I love how you differentiated, like, bringing value to that person. Because a lot of times I'm sure now in your shoes, people are like, can you do this for me? Can you do that? Like, you get out everything done for everyone. And it's like coming from maybe a place of more like, taking. And if it's like, hey, I want to help you, like, with this, that totally.

Yeah. And I think that's, like, I see that all day because not. Not just with me, but with other people as well. And it's. It's not terribly complicated. Right. Let's give another example. Like, we. We have a production company now. We're making TV shows, and people are always asking, can I get an internship or get involved? And even just managing an internship is like, it's a lot. Yeah. There's, you know, so. But if it's just, you know, someone came up to me and they said, hey, I love making videos. Like, if I would love to make something with you guys, if it's ever a possibility, let me know. Okay, cool. I could get a lot of those, but sure. And then, like, followed up, like, maybe three, two, three months later. Hey, just touching base if you guys ever need anything. And I was like, actually, oh, yeah, there is one thing, like, I've been wanting to do this little video. It's not going to be too difficult if, you know, give it a shot. And it's like, that's how you sort of get your foot in the door with people, is offer them a little bit of value.

Right.

And don't be a nuisance. But continually, like, you know, it's like, respectful persistence.

Yes.

And eventually, it's really just about making them keep you top of mind. Eventually they'll be like, oh, yeah, this person keeps hitting me up for this.

Right.

Here's like, you know, I'll record this thing with them or whatever.

Totally.

And I think that now more than ever, with just the age that we live in, I think people respond to that. You got to think, like, everybody was where you are at some point and somebody helped them. And most people will remember that. They'll be like, oh, yeah, Like, I remember I was in college, like, I. I needed someone to give me a shot, and generally they'll do it. If. If they don't, then maybe you don't want to work with them.

Totally. Yeah. And I think, like, adding ease into that person's life, like, if that person's super busy, they're an entrepreneur, actor, whatever. If you make something easier for them, they're probably more likely to say yes than you're adding more work. Like, I get people who want to be my interns and the person I ended up hiring, she just comes to all my events. Like, she's already there. It just makes sense because she's already gonna be there. Oh, why not? Why doesn't she just film it versus someone who's never really made the effort to actually, like, show up to anything?

Yeah, yeah. And yeah, it's again, it's like it's about standing out, you know, it's going that extra little bit to prove that value. And then after that, you just like continue to work hard and, you know, things will. Things will fall into place.

I think that's so amazing. So right now, what is a challenge that you're facing that you're trying to get past?

Good question. Well, we are trying to finish our Buried Life documentary, the feature film.

So excited for that.

Thank you. So we started 11 years ago, we started filming it and we thought it was supposed to be done in two weeks back in 2006, which was our first road trip. And you know, really the reason why we started Buried Life was to make a documentary film. And we've been filming the whole journey through the ups and downs of the TV show and the book and you know, the gosh, Oprah, you know, the whole. But the biggest list item is go to space, right? That's number 100. We're almost through the list, actually, but number 100 is still there. We sent our book to space, actually, which was really cool.

That's so cool. You can do that.

No, we made a promise to our fans. We said, if we make number one on New York Times, we'll send our book to space. Made number one. And we're like, oh, crap, we need to figure out.

And so you found an astronaut?

We found an aeronautical engineer that was neighbors with Duncan and Johnny who are in the Buried Life. And we said, we need you to help us get this book to space. And I don't. This wasn't totally legal, I don't think. But what we did was we got a weather balloon, right? So the weather balloon is a balloon that you release up into the atmosphere and it gets expands, expands, expands, and ultimately it'll pop. But it's how to gauge weather. So got one of those. And we built a platform with really pretty high end GPS tracking device and a platform for the book and a GoPro and we just launched it and we Knew that it's going to go up, and then eventually it's going to pop the balloon. And we had a parachute on it, and then it was going to come back. So we did it in the desert and in California, and it went up and. And then it popped. And then we saw the GPS and the parachute was, you know, deployed, and we could see it moving. We were in our cars, driving after it. Right. Like, it was this chase in the desert.

Yeah.

It was like, you know, 10,000ft, like 5,000ft. And then at, like, 1,000ft, it disappeared. Disappeared. And the GPS went off and we're like, oh. And so we combed this, like, you know, few square miles looking for it for hours, and we couldn't find it. And we're like, okay, we blew it. And the next day we got a call from our friend who's the engineer. He said the GPS just went on, and we went back and we found it. So we have this photo, a Screenshot from the GoPro of our book. And you can see the curvature of the earth.

What?

Yeah. So it was a.

So the GoPro's still working or GoPro worked?

Yeah.

Oh, my God.

Yeah.

Can you still track it with the GPS or. That's off now?

Well, it's. No. Sort of like, it came back down and so it was all there.

Okay.

Yeah. Yeah. But anyways, my.

I'll put a picture in the show notes so everyone can.

Yeah, I'll pull it up right here. You can see it. There it is.

Oh, my God. No, guys. It's like, literally outer space. That's so nuts.

Yeah. So anyway, my. My point is, it's been a really incredible 10 years. Right. Obviously, it's just sort of changed. Changed everything for us. We would love to go to space and cross off number 100 and have that be the finalist item. So what we're doing is we're putting.

That final and you're not coming back. Bye, guys.

Yeah, peace. And. But the film, I think, will be this sort of real legacy piece. I feel like that is what it will be. Right. It'll be this kind of thing that we can leave behind the. But hopefully we'll continue to inspire people for a while. Our dream is sort of like, have it be like the Endless Summer, I don't know if you've ever seen. It's a surf film that is iconic, and it's about finding the perfect wave. It's a great, timeless movie. So, yeah, so that's the real challenge, is going to space and also finishing this film. And just, you know, trying to practice what I preach. You know, it's like, there's definitely the. It's not easy to live a balanced kind of, you know, purpose driven life. Like, it's not, like, totally. I have my crap together, you know, all the time. Like, and I still go through lows, you know, depression and all that. And it's learning from that and learning what you need to stay healthy and surrounding yourself with the right people and also equipping yourself with the tools that you need to be at your best with that. I've been speaking more and trying to spread that message and try to be more vulnerable with my mental health story.

Was that a part of the story from the beginning, or is that something later on you felt, like, comfortable?

I talked about it for the first time publicly on the show briefly, because, as I mentioned, we help people do things they want to do. So the show was something on our list and helping someone every episode. And one of the people that we helped was a girl who grew up in Minnesota, Rochester, Minnesota, a small town. And she struggled with cutting self injury. She said, before I die, I want to make it okay to talk about cutting in my town because it's very stigmatized, especially in a small, you know, middle America town. So we built this event for her with a nonprofit called to write Love on Her Arms, which is an awesome nonprofit. And we had a musician, and we had, you know, a couple different people speak, and she talked openly to her community about it. And so during that episode, I said, look like I struggled with depression, and this is why I wanted to help you do this. And then I wrote in the book about it as well. But. But lately I've just been just more honest about it and also just looking back and trying to figure out how I can learn from it. And as I understand, really how much of a crisis we're in right now, it just kind of has drawn me to talk about it because I'm like, oh, crap. Stuff has to be said. I think that people. If people don't feel alone, we're talking about young, young kids. 12, 11. You're so young, you don't know up from down at that point, you know, in your life. And with cyberbullying and, you know, not being able to escape that sort of stuff, when you leave school, it's just like a mountain Sometimes that I think is too much. If people don't feel they can voice what they're. What they're going through, it's just gonna eat them alive. So I feel like, it's really lately been something that I need to talk more about. And so that's what I do.

I love it. And I think a lot of times it's much easier to talk about our successes, and we, like, focus on that, but we don't realize that when we talk about that lowest point, that's what makes our success even, like, more important for people. I think, like, for me, when I started talking about nutrition, I'm just talking about nutrition, and I never mentioned, oh, I had an eating disorder. But then once I talked about that, it's like, oh, now it makes. It's so amazing that you can have a healthy relationship with food coming from that versus I was like, I can't let anyone know about that, so they won't see me as, like, legit.

Yeah, I know. It's fun. And again, the irony is it's the opposite. Lately I've sort of realized some of those truths that are so, like, backwards. And I feel like when I find those things, I'm, okay, something needs to be done about this because it's not just wrong, it's backwards. Like, it's the opposite. And it's so simple. So, you know, when it comes, like, it's like you just said. And the other example is, like, talking, you know, guys talking about their feelings or like, you know, people not thinking that they can talk about what's going on because it's gonna make them feel, look. Look weak, you know, and that's how you actually are. Become a leader, you know, that is shows incredible strength.

Totally.

And, you know, you talk about, like, people just talking about their successes. And when you see someone open up about what they went through, you immediately connect with them. It doesn't matter if you experience anything similar to what they experience or not, you immediately connect with them as a human being. And from there, you can start to build a relationship with them whether you meet them or not, but you can actually empathize with them. You can relate to them in a way that allows you to pull things from them that you may not otherwise, because you may not relate. You may not feel like, yeah, yeah, that's a good idea, but I don't. Like, they're fucking amazing, and I'm just me. So, you know, and I'm dealing with all this other shit and blah, blah, blah. So I don't think I can do that. And, you know, the reality is everyone has that stuff they struggle with. And most of the people that have done great things have come from something that was hard, you know, not everyone, but a lot of them. So I think it's like a. One of those fundamental truths that is totally, totally backwards.

Totally. And I love that, you know, it's like your message about, like, fulfilling the things on your bucket list, these incredible things, but really it comes down to vulnerability and, like, how willing you're. You are to be authentic with yourself and others.

Totally. And even with the things that you want to do.

Yeah.

Right. Like, if it's something that everyone says you're crazy. What do you. You want to, like, be a street performer.

Yeah.

Play music.

Yeah. And you said this quote at your talk, which I love, and you said there's less competition at the top.

Yeah.

Because most people are, like, striving for the average. So can you just explain that a little bit and then we'll let you go?

Yeah, totally. So it's. The idea is actually, originally, I believe, from Tim Ferriss. Right. So it's this idea that 99% of the world doesn't believe they can do great things, so they shoot for mediocre goals, which means that the level of competition is highest for mediocre goals. So if you shoot for unrealistic goals, there's less competition.

So true.

And you have a higher chance of getting it done.

It's so true.

And again, it's. You surprise yourself. You know, we didn't think we could do any of this stuff. Not a chance.

Because how many people are actually trying to play basketball with Obama?

Not very many people.

Right.

So we didn't have much competition.

Yeah.

We weren't trying to. We were trying to, you know, jockey with other people that were trying to, you know, play ball with him in Washington.

Right. It's a fleeting thought, maybe, but, like, the number of people who actually, like, follow the pursue it. Maybe you were the first. Who knows?

Yeah.

And.

And again, like, the more audacious you go, the less and less competition, and also the more support you garner. You know, if you go out and proclaim this, you know, really audacious goal, you're gonna get people that are inspired by that.

Right.

You're gonna get people that are like, oh, man, that's so cool. Like, I. I can help you do. I can help you meet a senator, you know, or, like, I'll get you to. And then they introduce you to the senator. And the senator's like, oh, I've never heard this before. Okay, cool, Cool. I like this. I'm gonna help you get to the Secretary Transportation.

I love it.

And that's the way it works. And you Know, you look at these people that are doing incredible things, like Elon Musk, and they attract the very best talent in the world because it's a dream, right? You know, the hyperloop, like, yeah, I want to work on that. Are you kidding me? Space, you know, like, come on. All this stuff is just like, yeah. Blows your mind. You're like, I want to be. I just want to be involved with that.

Totally.

And so that's what we found with Buried Life is people just wanted to be involved. They just loved the energy of it. They loved what it stood for. And, you know, they just wanted. And in the beginning, that's what it. What's created this groundswell, and it's just sort of continued. And, you know, if we were like, we want to, you know, skydive, and we want to, you know, go to Mexico and we want to, like, ride a donkey, people just cross the border.

You can do all those things, you.

Know, it wouldn't have got the same momentum.

Right.

And so, you know, I think it's. I think it's something to consider.

I love it. So I think everyone right now is, like, already brainstorming their bucket list. So everyone go out there, start writing it, and where can they connect with you, watch your show, follow you, go to your talks, all of that.

Yeah. So the. You can watch the show on itunes or on Amazon called the Buried Life. The Buried Life. You. And then to sort of follow what's. What's going on. You can follow my. My Instagram is Bennempton. It's just my name, and I'll have all the links. Yeah, all my socials are just. Just my name. And then the Buried Life as well has a consistent. The Buried Life social. And. Yeah, we'll keep you updated on the film and on my keynotes and love to. Love to see your list. I love you. Post your list on my wall or.

Yes.

You know, dm.

Yeah, I wrote out a hundred things, so that's amazing. Yes. Well, thank you so much for spending the time and sharing your story with all of us. We all feel so, so inspired and are so grateful for you stepping up to becoming your highest self. And it really, like, plants the seed in all of us as well.

Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. It's been really fun.

Thanks, guys. How inspiring was that? Literally, I want to go fulfill everything from my bucket list now. And I just pulled up my bucket list that I wrote in September right after seeing Ben speak. So I want to share with you some of the things that I wrote the number one thing was shoot my book, Eat, Feel fresh in Jodhpur, India. So this was at that point just a thought that I had and I actually made it happen. I actually went to Jodhpur, India in December and I shot the book. So check become New York Times bestseller. Haven't gone there yet. Write a book with Deepak Chopra. That'll happen in this life. Have my own show on National Geographic. Be on Oprah Super Soul Sunday. I mentioned the spirit scuba diving when winning the Nobel Prize. Start a school in Africa. Have a healthy, happy family. Go on a pilgrimage to the Saraswati River. I did that too. Dance at the carnival in Rio and Trinidad. Give multiple TED talks. Some ones I won't mention on here. About mushrooms I'd like to take in the Amazon. Different than the mushrooms for sigmatic cells. Give birth to healthy babies. Have chubby. Have healthy puppies. Get two weekly massages. Definitely not there. Go back to Bali and Chiang Mai. Do yoga and hardware. Dance in a Bollywood movie. Become a grandmother. Host transformational workshops. So many things. Wow. Salsa dance and Havana. DJ at a festival. Go to the world's most amazing waterfalls. Go to the world's best safaris. Dance to the African drums in Ghana. Provide water to an African village. A lot of things in Africa seems like I really want to do. It's true. So I want you to write your bucket list. Share it with us in the Mind Body Balancers Facebook group. Let's compare and see. Like, hey, if anyone knows a village in Africa and can bring me over there, I'll provide the water. You know, that's how we make things happen. And if you enjoyed this episode, I would love to offer you the first half of my unreleased book. It's called Eat Right for your Mind Body Type. This is not the book that's coming out this October. This is not Idiot's Guide to Ayurveda. This is a book that I wrote myself, edited myself. Got Graphic design is so near and dear to my heart and infuses ancient Ayurvedic wisdom with modern nutritional science. So all about ectomorph, mesomorph, endomorph, how that relates to Vata Pitta kapha. It's really interesting read and I'm giving it to you for free. All you have to do is leave a review for this podcast on the iTunes store, take a screenshot and email it over to me at Sahara S A H A R aatfeelfresh.com and I will send you over the link for the first half of my unreleased book, Eat right for your mind body type. Thank you guys so much for listening. I'm so excited to hear all about your bucket lists and hopefully we can all be in each other's. Namaste, Sam.