087: Opening Wide with Melissa Ambrosini

Namaste. It's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. I am so excited to share this interview with my dear friend Melissa Ambrosini. She is an incredible author, motivational speaker, self love teacher, and most recently wrote the book Open Wide, which is an incredible insight into the Divine Feminine. In this episode we speak about the divine feminine archetypes and how to have crystal clear communication with your partner and all of the other incredible topics from cycling with the moon and getting in touch with your period and all of these things that her book Open Wide has to offer. And I'm really excited because we're going to do an event together in September, which I'll keep you posted about on my Instagram page. So if you're interested in learning more about relationships, self love, menstruation, goddesses, any of those things, I highly suggest listening to this interview. And first, a note from our sponsor, four Sigmatic. Four Sigmatic is a mushroom elixir company that makes mushrooms super easy to consume. And I'm not talking about regular mushrooms, I'm talking about medicinal mushrooms. They have all sorts of flavors from mushro coffees to different non caffeinated elixirs. My absolute favorite is their chai. It tastes incredible like a real chai latte, but doesn't have all the sugar in it. It's totally natural and it has the medicinal mushrooms in it which are really good for balancing your hormones and really goes with this episode. They also just came out with this new mushroom lemonade with activated charcoal in it which is so detoxifying and amazing. And they use monk fruit sweetener so it also has no sugar. If you're interested in giving four Sigmatic a try, you can go on four F O U R S I G M a t I c dot com and use the code Sahara and you'll receive 15% off your order. Again, four Sigmatic dot com using coupon code Sahara for 15% off. Without further ado, let's welcome Melissa Ambrosini to the Highest Self Podcast. Welcome Melissa to the Highest Self Podcast. It's so great to have you here.

Thank you gorgeous. I'm so excited to be here.

I am so excited as well and I have been diving into to your new book Open Wide, which I love so much because not only is it about the Divine feminine, but it's super just practical and real and you touch upon a lot of things that I think I've just learned throughout My own spiritual journey from the archetypes to the menstrual cycles, to soul mates and all these things. But like, I haven't seen anyone put it all in one place, so. I love how you did this.

Thank you. Yeah, I mean, for me, I was the same. There was no book that distilled everything that I'd learned over my journey so far. And so I wanted to create this guide for people to really have all of that information, you know, to be able to go somewhere to learn about the archetypes, to learn about soulmates, to learn about self love, to learn about the masculine and feminine, to learn about moon cycles. You know, I wanted one home that they could really dive deep within themselves.

Well, you definitely accomplished that. So thank you for this piece of work. And I'd love to know, in your words, what does it mean to open wide?

So open wide has become my daily guiding mantra. And what it means is to live from your heart. So I believe that there is are only two operating systems. You're closed off or you're open wide. And a lot of people are walking around with their head down, their shoulders forward, their head in their phone, scrolling Instagram. Closed off to the world around them, closed off to the Uber driver, closed off to the lady at the post office, closed off to all the beauty and magic that is everywhere. And don't get me wrong, I've been that. I've been that person. But that is not how I want to live. That is not how I want to move through my life. I want to move through my life with my shoulders back, my head up, my head out of my phone, with a wide open heart and mind. Because then when I walk around like that, I'm open to all of the beauty that is constantly around us. Whether it be in conversations with someone, or a flower that we walk past, or the sunset or the sunrise, There is beauty everywhere. And all we have to do is look up and choose to be open wide. And so when I wake up every single morning and I'm slipping from unconscious to conscious, there's a couple of things that I do. And the first thing is I do a couple of really, really, really deep breaths and I come back into my body. Like I say I'm coming back. I'm choosing to come back into this body and I do some really deep belly breaths because if I start my day breathing in my belly, I usually tend to breathe in my belly for the rest of the day and not go into fight or flight and responsive mode. And then I say everything that I'm grateful for in my mind. And then I say, I let go of anything that is no longer serving me. I let go of any stories that are holding me back. And I choose to open wide. I choose to live from my heart today. And sometimes when I feel myself, you know, closing down or shutting off to my husband or I have a 12 year old bonus son, if I feel myself closing off to him or anyone, I say to myself, open wide, Melissa. Open wide. And for a lot of us, our default setting is to shut down and close off. But as I say in the book, nothing good comes from closing. And I wrote this on my Instagram yesterday. Nothing good comes from closing. And yesterday Nick and I forgot that when we in the morning were a bit flustered with each other and we were forgetting to practice what I call ccc, Crystal clear communication, which I talk about in the book, we both forgot to practice crystal clear communication.

And.

And I shut down and he turned to me, grabbed my hand and said, nothing good comes from closing. And I was like, you're right, you're right. I wrote about this. You know, this is where I need to practice what I talk about. And so Open Wide is about living from your heart space. And it's about living an intentional heart based life. And it's my mantra.

I love that so much. And I feel like the reason why, I feel like we all were born open wide. And then something happened to us, maybe as a kid, as a teenager, that we closed off and then we took on this belief that the world is not safe for me to be open in.

Exactly, exactly. That's it. We are born into this world as the most whole, open, complete, beautiful, perfect little creatures. And then things happen that condition us. You know, whether we witness our parents getting divorced or something happens, whatever. There are so many different stories. The story is actually irrelevant. But what we need to do is remind ourselves that that's our birthright. Living open wide and living from your heart is your birthright. And although sometimes we may forget, it's always only a breath away. You know, in one breath we can come back to our heart.

I just took a breath. I think everyone listening just took a breath because we really just forget. And I think that in this day and age there's so much to do and we feel like if we're not in the state of constant doing, we're going to fall behind that. I think we're even afraid of taking that moment to breathe because we don't want to slow down because we feel like then someone else is going to catch speed and move ahead of us.

Mm, exactly. But that's not true for me. You know, the more I slow down and be really intentional and mindful, the more I get done and the better I do my work or whatever it is that I'm doing, because I'm present and I'm intentional with everything.

And you command attention. You know, when someone's speaking frantically like this, it's like, oh, my God. But when someone is speaking from this place of groundedness, you know, it's like immediately you draw in that attention they're holding, that kapha, that earth space, and you're like. It's like a breath of fresh air just to listen to.

Exactly.

So such good juiciness. So I would love to talk about the feminine archetypes. You know me, I love archetype stuff. And I love how you discussed this at the beginning of your book. So can you share with us some of the archetypes and how we kind of can tell which ones we're in embodying?

Yeah, I mean, there are so many different archetypes, and I personally love playing around with all of them. Like, I love embodying the mother, I love embodying the queen, I love embodying the goddess. You know, I love embodying all of them. And what I think is really important is, as the feminine, this isn't about dismissing our masculine energy, because we all have masculine and we all have feminine energy, whether we're male or whether we're female. And it's about rebalancing between our masculine and our feminine within ourselves. Because if we're balanced within ourselves, that will ripple out into all of our relationships. But if I'm too masculine, that's actually going to imbalance me and Nick, Nick and I. And if I am too feminine, that's also going to imbalance us. So it's my divine responsibility to make sure that I have this beautiful balance of masculine and feminine energy within myself. And I talk a lot about in the book, how to rebalance if you find yourself too masculine and in too much of your masculine, what you can do to rebalance. And then if you're too much in your feminine, what you can do to rebalance. And there's little things you can do. Like, even something like changing your outfit can really, really make that shift within yourself. But there's things that you can say, there's little things that you can do. And I talk a lot about that in the book. And then in terms of the archetypes, for Me, like two of my favorite archetypes are, I love playing the mother. You know, I have a bonus son who's 12. And I've never been a super maternal person. You know, I have friends that I went to school with and all they wanted was to get married and have a baby. And that was never. That didn't happen for me. I was so driven and so just had a mission and wanted to go for it. And I'm not saying they weren't driven or they didn't have a mission. They did their mission and their drive was to have a family. And it was just different to mine, but I didn't have that. And so when I then was put into a situation where I overnight had a child that I look after 50% of the time, I started to step into that mothering role and, and realized how innate it is and how natural that archetype sits with all of the feminine. It's so innate. And it was really interesting for me to step into that because I didn't realize that that was really within me. And I guess it's different from someone who has had that desire. Like my school friends from such a young age, they just wanted to have kids and that was what they wanted. And then, you know, they would get pregnant and they have the nine months to really embody that. But overnight I became a stepmom and I didn't realize how much I would really love embodying that archetype. So that's one that I absolutely love. I also love embodying the goddess. And this is something else that I've really had to embody over the years because I didn't have confidence and I didn't have self love and I hated my body and I loathed myself. For those that have read my first book will know that I dealt with anxiety and depression and an eating disorder and panic attacks. So I've really had to master my inner mean girl and learn what self love is all about and learn to embody it. So for me now, and I think age, you know, as you get older, you really do fall more in love with yourself and you appreciate yourself so much more than in your late teens and your early 20s into your late 20s sometimes. So for me, I have loved embodying the goddess and really playing around with that within myself and then with my husband. I just love embracing her. I'm also really driven and really intentional and purposeful and on such a mission with my work to inspire women. And so I love embodying the warrior. You Know, I really. I just love it. It's. I'm. You know, me, I'm very pitter. I'm very driven, and I'm also an Aries, and I've got that drive. So for me, I've really loved embracing that. But sometimes I hang out there a little bit too much, and I need to call on my goddess and the mothering archetype, especially, you know, if Leo comes home and I'm still in that go drive, you know, achieve. But I need to step into more of that mother and goddess role to really embody the wife and the stepmom. Then there's things that I can do to really embrace that. So they're just a couple that I love. I'm curious to hear, like, what's your favorite?

So good. Well, I see. I mean, I see the Doshas, and in all of them, when I was reading it, I was like, oh, I don't know. But I think the Priestess really resonates with me. In your book, it says, the Priestess is the domain of intuitive awareness and insight. She's intentional and reflective, having great depth to her presence and intellect. She's the connector between the material and spiritual worlds and knows how to dance elegantly between the two. She understands that the inner and outer worlds are a reflection of each other and doesn't let them rock her from her grounded presence because she knows there is something bigger at play. And, oh, first of all, just so beautifully written. But I love the Priestess archetype because it is that, like, that highest self that we all have. And, like, when you're receiving that download and you're channeling and you're just fully opening yourself up, really, to receive greater consciousness from the universe and using your body and your words and your fingers as vessels to bring the message across. I just truly feel so activated when I'm in that space.

Beautiful. Me too.

Yes. And what I love about it is you share how we are all, all of them. And I think it's important for people to realize this because people are so quick to put themselves in categories of, oh, well, I'm just the warrior. Oh, I'm just the mother. I'm just the whatever. It's like we're all, all of them. We won't be able to survive if we're not all of them.

Exactly. And we can call on different ones at different times. And that's the thing. You're not just one. And I love that you reminded us of that.

Yes. Even with the Doshas, it's like we're not just one. We're all three in different amounts, and they're going to show up in different ways. And you can have an imbalance of all three going on at the same time. And I think, you know, sometimes we're so quick, we want to take the quiz and know which one we are. And like, o, I'm only this. I'm only a goddess. I'm only a kapha. But it's a dance. So that's what this archetype work really is. It's just seeing yourself in different roles.

Exactly. Because we all wear many different hats, so we play different roles. And I think it's just about having fun between them, you know, like dancing as elegantly as you can between all of them.

Mm, yes. And this is something that I think you've said on your podcast before, but sometimes you're in work mode, and then Nick will sense this energy coming from you that's very like in your young masculine. And you say to yourself, soften. And that's something that I have. You know, especially when you work from home, there isn't that clear boundary of, like, now I'm somewhere else. It's like, you're at that same table and now this man comes home, but you're still in this like. Like, send things, get things done drive. So I think a lot of women can resonate what. What do you do to bring yourself from that masculine get things done space to that feminine receptive one.

I have a lot of different things that I do and in my toolkit that I can kind of pull out out of whenever I need it. But. And I share a lot of the tips in my book. But a couple of my favorite things that I do is I have a shower or. And I'll get out of what I was wearing that day and I will put on something a bit more goddess y. So either like a flowy skirt or just a different top or something like that. So for me, that Tony Robbins calls them pattern breaks and. Or changing your state. And if you want to go from one archetype to the other or one state to another, you need to change your state. And I love doing that by having a shower and getting changed or diving in the ocean or going for a walk along the beach or meditating or putting some lip gloss on or, you know, there's so many different things that you can do. But I think it's just really about experimenting with a whole bunch that I share in the book and just discovering what feels good in your body. For me, meditating really cracks me from one to the other. So, you know, we'll get Leo from school and before it's dinner time, we meditate, or I'll meditate. And then we have dinner and the laptops are away, the phones are always on silent and they're out of sight. And that for us, that meditation is like the bookend of our day. And then we go into a really mindful, beautiful, calm dinner. And then, you know, we'll play a game or we've got our essential oils diffusing, we've got mood lighting, you know, we've got Himalayan salt lamps going. We don't have any blue lights in our house, so we've got really beautiful amber lights to really send a signal to our nervous system and our bodies that it's time to wind down. So from around 5 o' clock onwards, it's really mindful, slow, intentional with the essential oils, with the lighting, with the meditating. We might have some beautiful music playing in the background, but that really helps me shift from one state to the other. Because it's interesting when you live and work in your home environment, which I love, by the way. Like, I've had an office before with my staff and I was there for three months and I decked it out and it was so beautiful. And I realized that that's not actually what I wanted. I thought it was the next thing to do in order for me to reach the next level in my business. But I love working from home. I am an introverted person at times. I love my own space, I love my own time. I love pottering around the house. I love being in my own environment and just being in my space. And I just. I just adore it. So much so. And I love working from home in my activewear if I want to. So it is interesting, though, if you have been home all day, sometimes in front of your laptop or your computer all day. You know, when I was writing Open Wide, I would spend hours and hours a day sitting in front of my computer. I started to go a little bit crazy as you know what it's like writing a book. You're staring at a screen and we're not designed to do that. We're really not designed to do that. So you have to find these little things that really help you and will support you to train, transition, to change your state, to break your pattern from one to the other. Just find them and experiment with them and then see what feels good for you and just make a commitment to do it at five o'. Clock. Every day or six o' clock or whenever time feels good for you. Do you have any that you do, like, any rituals?

Yeah, for me, I am naturally more of a night person. So I actually like, if I'm writing a book, I will let myself stay up late because that's just when the downloads are coming through. And before I would beat myself up about it and be like, oh my God, I'm staying up late. I'm not going with the ayurvedic times. And you know, and then I'm like, okay, well, there wasn't any electricity at that time. Things are a little bit differently. And what I'm creating right now is really like my highest work and helping so many people that I let myself stay up to do it. I just find that at nighttime I'm much more clear. I know a lot of people feel that way about the morning times before everything started. And that's their time that they you, you know, really get into the writer's flow. But I find it really hard some people can do this to like, chunk in a one hour period of time to like write your book and then like go on to the next meeting. For me, it takes like a few hours to really get into the groove.

And I think it's really important to honor yourself and your. What feels good for you.

Totally. Yes. And yeah, I mean, I think with every book also, every book has a different personality in a way that it wants to be written and depends on the topic. So, you know, with the this next book I'm working on, I'm toying with the idea of speaking it and then going back and listening and like writing down the things that I want. Because now, especially with podcasting, I'm finding like, with speaking, I can get to what I want to say so much faster than writing.

That is so interesting.

Yes. Always a good thing to try something new and see what works with you and learn more about yourself along the way.

Absolutely. I totally agree. It's all experimenting.

Yes, I'd love to know. Also, this was something that I think is a huge topic right now. People love talking about this and I do too. The cycles, the moon cycles, our menstrual cycles, how they're connected, and I love how you bring them into the archetype. So can you share a little bit about that?

I have just become fascinated with understanding not only about my personal cycle, but the moon cycles over the years because I grew up not having a beautiful relationship with my body or my period. I remember I share this story in the book but when I got my period, like, my mum didn't talk to me about it. I had no idea what was going on. I thought I was dying. I was like, why is there blood in my underwear? Like, I had no idea what was going on. And so I had to ask my older dancing friends and all of a sudden I'd just have, you know, tampons and pads in my drawer in my bathroom. But, like, I didn't know what even to do with them. Like, I was like, what do I do? Like, I literally didn't know. And it wasn't a beautiful, divine, sacred celebration with my mom and I. Like, you know, it was very much like, all of a sudden they just appeared in my drawers in my bathroom. And that was it. That was it. Like, she literally said nothing. And that's fine. But it kind of planted a seed in my mind that it wasn't really a sacred thing. It was just a thing that happened. And so I had a really distorted relationship with my period and with my body. And I went on to have an eating disorder and et cetera. So it wasn't until later in life when I realized that our body is our temple and that we have got to love it and respect it and treat it like gold, because we only have one. And it wasn't until I really understood about our own cycle and just how freaking miraculous the female body is that it can actually create a baby inside of us. And just the pure act of giving birth is just such a miracle. Like, I don't know if you've ever seen in depth like, birthing videos, but it is like, holy moly. It is the most magical thing. Like, that is real magic, real magic. And it just blows my mind. And so I've loved learning about all of the different things, different hormones in our body and how they just change in one month, you know, and then you compare them to a man's hormones and if you look at a scale like ours are going up and down, up and down, up and down throughout this month, the man's is very much more steady and just even that. Like, and then you think about the emotions that then come with that. And then you think about what your body does. Like, even the process of letting go and bleeding and shedding every month. Like, it is so magical to be a female. It is so powerful. And I'm just so grateful that I got to come into this world as a female. Like, I'm just so grateful. And the female body is just mind blowing. It's just mind blowing. So I Became fascinated with understanding about our moon cycle within ourselves. When I started to love myself and my body and I just dove headfirst into it. And then I started to learn about how our cycle was connected to the moon cycle and how that interlinks and how each month the moon goes through its own cycle and we go through our own cycle. And when you can kind of connect the two, you can go through massive days of when you're feeling super motivated and productive, then you go through days where you're letting go and you're shedding. And when you understand this, you can really work with the moon cycle and your cycle, with yourself, with your work, with your productivity. And then you can really not beat yourself up. Because I think a lot of us think that we should be in fifth gear. Go, go, go. Drive, drive, drive. Do, do, do. Achieve, achieve, achieve. Type A overachiever for the whole month. But if you actually tune in and consider what is going on for your body when bleed, and then you also incorporate the moon into it, you know, it's just magical. So I use it now to manifest, I use it to slow down, to let go of anything that I'm holding onto for that month. You know, just as I'm bleeding, I do that. And on the full moon, what do I want to let go of? What's no longer serving me. I take that time when I'm in my bleeding stage, when I'm in my winter as I call it in the book, to really go inward and to just relish this self love time. It's just been mind blowing. And I really want to encourage anyone listening who have daughters to really sit with them and educate them not only on how magical their bodies are, but just how magical the process of ovulation is and to really honor it. And if you do it, they'll do it because our children are watching and copying every single thing we do. So if you are looking in the mirror and scolding your body, then that's what they will do. So if you look in the mirror and you say I love myself, I'm so grateful. That is what they'll see. So be really mindful of that. I have, I call her my niece, but she is not my niece by blood. This is one of my best friends, 11 year old daughters and I just adore her so much. And actually she's a little bit younger than that, but we talk to her, you know, my friend and I, we, we speak about how we're going to educate her when she gets her period and how we're going to educate her on sex. And we have this conversation, like, so often because we want her to. I mean, she's read Mastering youg Mingle. She read it when she was was 7. So her mom, who's one of my best friends, read it with her. And she wants her to read Open Wide as well. Maybe when she gets a little bit older. But we have this conversation, we're like, how can we really inspire her? I mean, her mother and I are incredibly mindful of our own dialogue. So we're not the type of women that would stand in front of the mirror anymore and hate on our bodies. And so we're like, what else can we do to really inspire her? So, you know, not only are we telling her, you know, her body is miraculous already, but just thinking about ways that, you know, when she does get her period celebrating. Like, I have one friend who her mom and her older sister. I'm going off on a little bit of a tangent here, but I just want to really take home the message of how important it is, especially for our future daughters and our daughter's daughters and one of my friends, her older sister and her mom. The day that she got her period period was a celebration. She got taken out to lunch and celebrated and oh my gosh, your body is just so amazing. And you are so amazing and well done and we're so proud of you. And this is just amazing. And then she got this big, beautiful box of goodies. And in the box of goodies, there was like tampons and pads and a pink hot water bottle and some raspberry leaf organic tea and some crystals and like, just like this little, almost like a period self love box. And I just thought that was such a beautiful idea. A nice new pair of underwear and just like really beautiful things. I think there was some, like, bath salts in there as well and just essential oils. And if you're listening to this and you didn't have that sort of experience, you had more of an experience like I did, where it just wasn't spoken about, then maybe you can think about this for your nieces or your daughters or your future daughters, because it's really important that we not only only love and honor our bodies, but we love and honor this cycle that we go through and just really embrace it.

Oh my gosh, I love that so much. And I think that needs to be a product out there, like a period starter kit with like, not just pads and tampons, but just like, indulgent stuff that celebrates the feminine and to be like, ooh, yes, now you get this amazing time of the month where you get to go inwards and honor yourself and be as introspective as you want. And that's what you're supposed to be doing.

Oh, absolutely. For me, on my first day of my bleed, it's like, yes, I will spend the whole day at the beach on my own with my journal or in the park with my journal, or I'll go and just sit on the couch with a cup of tea and watch a ridiculous, hilarious rom com movie. And I just fully allow myself to do that because that's my ultimate day of rest. The first day of my bleed is like my ultimate rest day. And I just soak it up. I don't feel guilty. I don't let my inner mean girl say, oh, you should be working. Nope, I just totally embrace it.

I get so excited when I get my period because I didn't have a period for almost two years. So when I get my period, I'm like, you know, for anyone who didn't have a period or had that issue, it's like, like Christmas morning, literally.

Oh, absolutely. I was the same. I lost mine for about a year and a half when I was really unhealthy. And so when I got it back, I was like, wow, this is so sacred. And you know, my husband's like, on my first day, he'll be like, oh, I'm so proud of you. You're so beautiful. And I do have to tell him as well. Like, there's a few days leading up where I'm like, I'm about to bleed, and I'm feeling a little bit more sensitive than I usually would. And he's like, right, got it. You know, like, gives me a little wink. He's like, yeah, you know, just, I may be a little bit more emotional. Like, I may cry at a TV commercial. Not that I watch tv, but like, I may cry at the drop of a hat. And I think that communication with your partner is really important as well. And your kids, like, I'll tell Leo. I'm like, so I'm about a few days out from bleeding, and I'm feeling a little bit more sensitive than usual. I just want to let you know. And he'll be like, cool, right? Got beautiful.

How amazing to educate the men in your life about what's going on. Because the thing is, they want to help, they want to be there, and we just don't communicate with them. So that's a great example of ccc, which I want to ask you about, but before we get there, the one thing I want to ask you is, do you schedule your work schedule at all around your menstrual cycle?

I have friends that do this and, and I would like to say I do, but I don't because I have very consistent energy. And that hasn't always been the case for me. I come from having adrenal fatigue and burnout. But now, because I have been healing and done so much work on myself, I have consistent energy. Although leading up to my period, so about three or four days before my first day, I sometimes feel a little bit lower in energy. Like just a little bit, like a little bit lower. So I just make sure that I'm taking a lot more time for self love and for nurturing myself. But I have friends that totally schedule their whole launch calendars around their moon cycle.

Yeah, I mean, I've definitely seen people do that, and I personally haven't either because I also do feel like pretty good. I don't have very painful or crampy periods, but. And I don't have regular enough periods to be able to book a whole launch around it. But I do see a lot of people put their podcasts and the very yang things when they're ovulating, and then they'll go inwards and brainstorm and really plan it all around the menstrual cycle, which I think could be the way of the future. It would be an amazing way for, you know, women to really make the most out of their energy at that time.

And I intuitively know when I'm in, because in our moon cycle, we have our summer, autumn, winter, and spring. Our winter is when we're bleeding and then we go out of that and we go into spring and then et cetera. So I intuitively know where I'm in my cycle because I will just like when I'm in my summer, I'm like, I'll be at the gym and I just have so much more energy and I'm just like, whoa, like where? Like, this is amazing. And then I'll notice, okay, I'm in my autumn, so I'm going into bleeding. That's why I feel a little bit flatter than usual.

Totally. Yes. You're like, oh my God, guys feel like this all the time. What?

But like you said, it's. You said before you don't have painful periods. I mean, this is another thing, and this is another whole episode. We shouldn't be getting excruciating pain. And if you are getting excruciating pain. There is an imbalance and you do need to go and look at that. And we shouldn't have mood swings and fluctuations of energy like our period is, is meant to come and go. Sure, you can feel a little bit lower in energy and a little bit more tired, but you're not meant to be buckled over in excruciating pain with a, you know, sore lower back, fainting, vomiting, diarrhea. And I've been there, I have been on the floor in excruciating pain. I've vomited, I have fainted. I used to not be able to go to school on the first day of my period. I'd have to take all of the painkillers. That's not, not normal. So if you are experiencing that, then you definitely need to, you know, get some support with that.

Was it like endometriosis or something? Did you find out what it, what was the cause?

It wasn't that, but it was a combination of stress and the way I was living my life at that time. So I had, you know, I wasn't eating well, I was out partying, I was surrounding myself with toxic people, I was doing work that I didn't love, I was highly stressed. So it was a combination of a very unhealthy lifestyle.

Totally. Yes. And I think that's, you know, and what makes it easier for people to understand is like, it doesn't mean you have an actual disease because sometimes we have these issues and we're going to all the doctors and we're like, what's wrong with me? We're looking for them to say, oh, you have pcos, you have this. And sometimes we get frustrated when we don't find that we have a disease, but it's actually just our lifestyle and.

Stress is a huge factor.

Yes. And another, I know that you're an Ayurveda nerd also, but one interesting thing about Ayurveda is, you know, it's very much written by men. And the yogis and the Ayurvedicaryas were men. So they don't talk about the cycles. I've never seen it discussed. And the Ayurveda times a day are based off of the 24 hour cycle, which is how men's energy fluctuates. So I'm like, we need to have more of the Ayurveda stuff, stuff with the feminine cycles. And I wonder, you know, like even how our doshas are changing with the cycles.

That's a really good point.

So we can discuss more about that. But I do see, you know, your period time is very kapha, earthy grounded. And then vata is like that follicular phase where you're like, ooh, like, trying new things and like, kind of like jumpy and like, maybe a little bit confused. You just got out of this period. And then pitta is like the full on fire, which may turn into a little bit of a wrath right before your period and then back into kapha. That would be kind of how I would classify it.

Exactly, yes.

So the last thing I want to discuss, which is a very important topic, is ccc, Crystal clear communication. So can you share a little bit about us, what this is, and how we can go about it with our partners without sounding preachy? Because I feel like at least every time I try, I sound like a school teacher. So how can we do this in a way that's still fun and playful and not like, I feel like so many times we as conscious women, we turn into, like, that teacher and the mother of, like, oh, well, now we're gonna do this and now we're gonna do that. And it loses the polarity.

Exactly. Because they already have a mother and they don't need us to be their mother. And that's something that I have really had to be mindful of with my past relationships, not telling them what to do. But the only way that we can really inspire anyone else is by being the living, breathing, walking, talking example. We can only inspire them to do that. We can't fix, change, or improve anyone else. But crystal clear communication. CCC is the best relationship tool that we all need. Not just for our lovers, but for every relationship. There is only a relationship breakdown. When someone has failed to practice practice ccc, that is the only time there will be a breakdown. Okay? And so this is something that Nick and I practice every single day. And because we have this dialogue between each other, you know, he will say to me, hey, baby, you know we're not practicing CCC at the moment. And I'm like, yeah, okay, you're right. You know, let's. Let's practice it. But I think if you want to inspire your partner to practice it with you, the best thing to do is first practice it with yourself. Like the example of it within yourself. Like, when you're communicating with yourself. Be clear. Speak from your heart. When you're communicating with them, do the same. And then I would sit them down and I would have a really beautiful, open, loving conversation with them about it. I would get them to read about it in my book and say, hey, what do you think about employing this or practicing this? Like, Nick and I are so open, so open to learning and growing. We want to be the best versions of ourselves. And I am so freaking grateful that I am married to someone who is so open because I have, I know people in my life who are married or in relationships with incredibly closed partners. And it's really challenging for them. They are banging their head against a brick wall every single day. And that's tough. Like, that is really tough. And I see it, I see it so often. So I am so grateful that I am married to a conscience, open, beautiful human being who wants to grow and learn. And that is just really, that's a non negotiable for me. And you'll know in chapter four, when I talk about dive into your ocean. One of the values, when we dive into the core values of our partner that we want to call in one of mine is that they have, you know, I want them to be willing to grow and learn and evolve because that's why we're here on earth. And that is our purpose is to grow and evolve our human consciousness. We can't take anything with us to the next realm. All we take is the evolution of our soul. And it's really hard to have a conversation with someone when they're so closed off. It's so hard. You're just like, oh my God, I can't get in. They're just so shut down. They're so closed off. And it's not your job to try and crack them open. You know, it's not your job. But if it's your partner and you really want to start to employ crystal clear communication, the best thing to do would just be to sit them down and speak from your heart and say, honey, I really want to continue to grow and evolve in myself and in our relationship. And I'd love to practice this new little technique. And it'll take about a week for it to really sink in. And then it becomes so innate that you will forget to. It's not like you even have to think about it. Like, it's like brushing our teeth now. It's just part of our dialogue. We don't have to think about it. So the more you practice it every single day, it just becomes deeply ingrained within you. And it is the best relationship tool for all of your relationships.

Absolutely. And I totally know what you know that those people, like, sometimes you have a parent that way or sometimes it is your husband who just isn't open to hearing the message. And it's hard because it's like, you know, you can be that bright light, and I see it happen. The woman, or even maybe it's the man trying so hard. And when that person's really not open to. To receive, it's almost like you're not going to even affect them. They have to really go deep within themselves. And for some people, they're so not willing to go there because it's too painful.

Exactly.

So what would your advice be if you are in a relationship with someone who's like, listen, I don't want to do all this crystal clear communication. This sounds really weird to me. Like. Like, what are you talking about? Everything is fine as it is. Oh.

I mean, I talk about it in the book. I talk about deal breakers. There's only two options ever. And Eckhart Tolle talks about this. You either fully accept that person in that situation just as it is, or you leave. There's only two options. Fully accept it, never bring it up again. You have no, you can't get angry about it again because you fully accepted it. Fully accept it and that person for who they are, or change it. That's it. That's it. There's only two options. Yeah.

And I think that, you know, since we are always changing, we think, well, if I'm changing so much, so they can change so much too. But change is an inside job.

Absolutely. It all starts with you.

Yes. And you can't change for another person as much as you want to, and you love them and you care for them. But it's hard because sometimes I do see, like, you know, people being taught, taught by a teacher, and they really transformed their lives. But again, they had to have wanted to.

Exactly. And it's also the place that you speak from as well. You know, like, if I want to teach Leo something and I'm coming from a place of love and patience and kindness, he's going to be open to it. But if I want to teach him something and I'm coming from that anger or frustrated or resentful place, like, you should know how to do this or can't believe you did it this way way, then he's not going to receive it. So the place that you come from is really important as well. Are you coming from an open place or a closed place within yourself?

Totally. And I think for a lot of us, we are telling that person from. Because we're so angry because we've been hurt, and then that person is just feeling the anger and then they get Defensive about it.

Exactly.

So, yeah, I mean, it's really important that your partner is on that same page age as you and wanting to grow and want. And these things are a priority to them. And. Yeah. And, you know, I think for a lot of people, they think, oh, well, we're already married. Or they just, nothing I can do. And it's like anyone can start all over again no matter where you are in your life.

Exactly. And, you know, if your marriage is a priority, make it a priority. You don't just rest on your laurels once you're married and you don't grow and evolve like Nick and I are, are constantly, you know, talking about, okay, well, do we feel stagnant in our relationship right now? Like at the start of this year? So January this year, or was maybe December, we had a conversation. We're like, what can we do to really spice up our relationship? And we. Something I've wanted to do and we've both wanted to do is start learning ballroom dancing and Latin dancing. So we started learning dance together and we've been doing it for like five months now. And. And we absolutely love it. And it's such a beautiful thing to be able to do and share. We're both beginners. Even though I came from a dance background, you know, we're both learning a new skill together and it's really beautiful. We're growing, we want to learn, you know, we want to continue to improve. We're always reading books, we're listening to podcasts, we're attending personal development and spiritual workshops because we want to grow and evolve for ourselves and for each other.

And was Nick like this before he met you or from seeing you do the work that inspired him to also.

No, he hasn't always been like this, but he was like this before me. So both of our relationships before each other, we were both in three year relationships and they were very, very healing, spiritually growing, healing relationships. And I always knew that I was never meant to be with. With that man for the rest of my life, but I knew that he came into my life to teach me a lot of things, and he did. And that's kind of where my spiritual journey started. And same for Nick. He was in a relationship with another girl for three years, same time as me, and he. That's where his kind of spiritual doors were cracked open and his personal development doors were cracked open. And we met each other then, and it was like the universe was like, you two aren't ready to meet each other just yet. So we know. And we knew each other then. We knew each other three years before we actually got together. And then after both of our relationships dissolved pretty much around the same time. I think mine was like may and his was a few months later or something like that. And then about six months later, we all of a sudden are just in each other's life constantly. And we had never bumped into each other. We'd never been at the same events or the same parties or things like that. And then all of a sudden the universe is like putting us together all the time. But if we couldn't have got together three years pr. We weren't ready. We were. I don't think we would have been together if we had have got together then because we were doing so much work on ourselves. And I'm so grateful because it's allowed us to have the relationship that we have now because we've done a lot of work on ourselves before we got together. And he had a practice marriage, which was awesome because he got to like, stuff up a lot in that first one. And it taught him so much about being a man and it taught him so much, much about him. So he had like this epic practice marriage that just catapulted his spiritual growth.

Totally. Yes. And I love looking at that, even with that language of the practice marriage or even you said earlier the. The bonus child. And instead of. We place such negative works of oh my ex as if it's like, you know, this failure that happened, whereas it gave you. It was. Is like the best life coaching program you could have possibly have done to prepare you to fully live wide open with your true love with your soulmate. Which you talk about in the book.

Exactly. Everything is a lesson. Everything is an opportunity for growth. A nugget of wisdom in everything that happens.

Totally. Yes. And I think the moment that we see that horrible thing happening to us at the exact spiritual lesson we need to get to our next level of evolvement, it actually ends up disappearing because the soul lesson was understood and we can move on.

Yeah, exactly. And if we don't get the lesson, we'll just keep recreating it in a.

Different shape and form in person.

Exactly.

Oh, so good. So many great tidbits of knowledge and wisdom that you've shared with us. And oh my God, thank God you wrote this book on it. So where can listen find you and pick up a copy of your book?

Well, you can find me online@melissarambrosini.com and then open wide to get the book and the free video masterclass that Nick and I created that accompanies the book, but it's in all bookshops and it's online. You know, you can head to my website and find out where to get it. Amazon's a great place. And if you do get it and read it, please leave me a review and come and check out my podcast, the Melissa Ambrosini Show. I would love to meet you. Come and introduce yourself to me on Instagram. I love hanging out on Instagram. It's, you know, my favorite platform. So introduce yourself to me there. Tell me that you heard this episode and yeah, I just would love to meet you. I love connecting with like minded people. So come and introduce yourself.

Totally. And we can do a giveaway of your book over on my Instagram too, so some lucky winners can get a copy of your book because now it's in the US also.

Yes, let's do it.

Perfect. Well, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with all of us and putting this, you know, divine feminine work that is thousands of years old, but we've experienced this recent dark ages of it, I think the past few hundred years, and we're now coming back to it. So thank you for taking the time to dig deep into this work and put it in a book so young people like your niece and so many of the daughters of the people listening can give the girls this tool so they can better understand their bodies and we can change the paradigm of hating the feminine form, seeing the feminine as the weaker side, and really embrace all of the powers that are within us.

Amen, sister.

Namaste.

Thank you for having me.

Thank you. Mm. What a beautiful episode. I totally resonate with everything Melissa says and it's so refreshing that in this divine feminine era, we're going back to this inherent wisdom that's existed within us for centuries and has only recently been forgotten. But we're reawakening to our own feminine truth, both men and women. So I'm really excited that we had this interview and for our event to come in September. If you loved this interview, I would love for you to leave a review in the itunes store. And and as a free gift, I would love to share with you the first half of my unreleased book, Eat Right for your mind body type. This is a different book from Eat Feel Fresh, my cookbook that's coming out in October. This book is now part of my Eat Right for your mind body type 12 week program which you can find on my website, iamsaharose.com it infuses ancient Ayurvedic wisdom with modern nutritional science comparing vata pizza kapha to ectomorph, mesomorph and endom morph. Lots of anecdotes. Really beautiful, really colorful. And I don't have it published anywhere. Eventually I will, but I still don't. Right now the first half is just a gift from me to you for writing a review for this podcast. So all you have to do is head over to the iTunes store. You can do it on your app, the app, the podcast app on your phone, or you can do it online. Just look up itunes highest self podcast, search for it, click Write a review. Write a beautiful review. Take a screenshot before hitting Submit Submit and email it over to me@saharaatfieldfresh.com and within hours I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book, Eat Right for your mind body type. Namaste Sam.