159: Neurolinguistic Programming (NLP) 101 with Ruben Mata

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest development. Neuro Linguistic Programming Sounds like a computer software, right? Well, you may have heard this term nlp, been thrown around in conferences or business webinars or whatnot. And it is something that is really, really life changing if you get a good grasp on it. So in this episode, I sit down with Ruben to really share what NLP is all about. So Neuro Linguistic programming is essentially learning the language of your mind. So it allows you to see the pathways that your mind goes through when you make a decision. For example, if I word something in a specific way, how the way that I just word, it will actually prompt the way that you make a decision. So because of reason, it's often used in marketing in business, but it's also really useful to use on yourself and to unlock your own subconscious mind to see the patterns that you're holding onto most often from childhood and in my belief, even from past lives as well. So in this episode I sit down with Ruben to really understand how, first of all, NLP can help, you know, just everyday people, whether you're in business or not, and then also how it can be used in terms of marketing. And this is really important, guys, because if you are someone out there who wants to be a coach or you want to have your own product, brand, service, anything, it's really important for you to be able to speak the language of your customer, to be able to essentially, you know, you have something incredible to share with them. But oftentimes people have a difficult time making a decision. They make a hard, have a hard time making a purchase. And if you know that your product is an amazing thing that's going to change people's lives, you need to be able to speak the language of the mind to help them make the best decision. So we talk all about this, communicating with yourself, with others, and all the ways that NLP can help your life. So without further ado, let's welcome Ruben to the Highest Self Podcast. And before we get started, check out these brands that make Highest Self Podcast possible. This episode is brought to you by four Sigmatic. Four Sigmatic is an incredible mushroom elixir company. I proudly drink their elixirs every single day. My favorite is their chai mix. It is insanely delicious. I quit chocolate cold turkey and what helped me was drinking this chai mix every day. And best of all, they use stevia to sweeten it. And there's no sugars, like the chai lattes you'll find at Starbucks or wherever else. And the mushrooms are really good for balancing your hormones, helping heal adrenal fatigue, healing your body on an adaptogenic level. So adaptogens really kind of relate to what your body needs. So if you are high, stress will bring you down. If you need more energy, it will bring you up. And that's what's so amazing about adaptogens. They adapt to your body. And mushrooms, medicinal mushrooms, have a lot of adaptogenic properties. So you can head over to their website. 4sigmatic.com F O U R S I G M a t I c.com Sahara I have a little shop up there with my favorite four Sigmatic products, so you can try it out. And you can also get 15 off any four sigmatic product using the code Sahara Are you interested in having a career focused on health and wellness? Well, if so, then the universe is calling you to become a holistic health coach. I am offering this incredible deal, a discount of $1,500 off my Alma mater, Institute for Integrative Nutrition, which is the world's largest nutrition school. With guest teachers such as Deepak Chopra, Chris Carr, Dr. Hyman, Dr. Andrew Whale and so many others. It is split between six months of health coach programs teaching you hundreds of nutritional theories, including Ayurveda, as well as six months of business coaching. And as an additional bonus, I am offering a webinar where I will teach you how to use social media to create a thriving career as a health coach. On top of that, I have created a private Facebook community just for the highest self podcast listeners who are becoming health coaches to connect with each other, meet up with each other and support one another on this journey. So if you're interested in send an email over to Sahara S A H A R aatfeelfresh.com with subject iin again saharaetfeelfresh.com with subject IIN and I will personally send you back the email that will allow you to get a $1,500 off discount as well as my business coaching webinar and the private Facebook group. I'm so excited for you to begin your journey as a health coach. Welcome Ruben to the Highest self podcast. It's so good to have you here.

Thank you. Thank you for the invitation.

Well, the first question that I would love to ask you is what makes you your highest self?

Will be able to share the gifts that I've been given with others and to empower them and to see them have success and their breakthroughs of being successful, stuck or whatever challenges they have, that's the fulfillment.

Well, you're definitely embodying that which is always good to hear when you're embodying what makes your highest self. So I had the opportunity to hear you speak at a conference and you were amazing speaker and had such an astonishing story. So can you briefly share with us what got you to where you are now? Teaching people about neuro linguistic programming and personal development and how you definitely did not start out here.

Well, it all started when I was a little boy. No, I'm just kidding. Actually I was a mechanic for Toyota for 15 years. You know, being in the industry of automotive industry of turning wrenches and fixing cars and. And that's what I love to do, is fix things. And I got to the point in my life where it was more, you know, is there more to life? And. And I got into the real estate mortgage industry and became very successful. But then there was the downturn in 2004 where the economy went down, so did my finances and lost a lot of homes that were foreclosed on and cars were being towed away because I didn't have that mindset. I didn't have the know how I knew how to make the money but not keep it. So being overextended as the cars were being towed away, you know, so was my self esteem, the dignity, the confidence that I had that put me into a situation of distancing myself and avoiding people because of my ego, of what will they say? You know, it was that, you know, I don't want to tell people what really is going on. I'll just pretend that everything's okay. But the money ran out. And that avoidance had me into it was a hotel room where I was ready for that for five days just by myself, just wanting to fill that void with outside sources that landed me to really want to check out and start. And I was sharing this part of my life which was the turning point was when I was ready to check out. I was at that point of decision and I heard a voice that said it's not your life to take. Stand up. And I stood up. And once I did stand up, I knew it was something greater than me, that it wasn't me anymore. I had to move myself out of the way and allow the process to happen. And that's when I made the decision and moved forward and had to repair everything that was destroyed from allowing my ego to run my life. And now I allowed something higher than me to run my Life and it was a challenge and we started getting into personal development. I went to these seminars and started opening a new mindset of great information. And the most key factor if I could share was applying the knowledge that I was learning and the principles that I was learning and you know, seeing like minded people supporting and being in that environment that people love to see people succeed in the environment. It's just you know, understanding people's situation. And I was you know, lucky enough to be there and it really introduced me to this world that I didn't understand then because I was so blinded by the materialistic things of always wanting to please people. And when the true peace that I had inside was from helping others I was like oh my goodness, now I know the purpose that I've been here, put here, you know. And I was able to get back on track in business and get into the real estate and that became successful again and you know, started into this personal development and I was thinking if I could help others the way these principles help me, that's the true fulfillment. Because money, I already experienced that and it's great but there was still that void. And getting into introduced to the Neuro linguistic programming the NLP was a major part because I could see how the subconscious mind and the conscious mind work. And I started applying these principles and having great success that I started my own company which is stand development trainings training people in NLP and Neuro linguistic program based events and courses. And also I was able to create a foundation which is called Standard Stan foundation which is an NGO and we do things outside of the US where we have a branch in Ghana and what we do there is we send materials over there and we help the orphans and the people in prison to generate income by making scarves and being utilizing their talents and allow them to identify. So we send money out there. We're going to Ghana this year and to do something on a bigger scale with the youth. So we have the foundation. And with that I was invited to represent the US and Seoul, South Korea as representing the US as a world Peace Ambassador and was invited to speak at the United nations three times of what my foundation or what we're doing to bring peace to the world. And all this was getting out of my own way and taking a stand for what I believe in. And that holds strong what Les Brown has shared with me. As he says stand up for what you believe in because if not you'll fall for anything and understanding that is stand up, you know, set the boundaries, enforce them and People will want to come against you, but it's okay because when you're coming from the heart, which I realized that everything will work out exactly how it's supposed to. And I was able to write a book which is endorsed with the Senate that's in the juvenile system, in the educational system. And it's a success guide that I use in business, the companies that I go train in business development. It's a success guide that has neuro linguistic programming language patterns for individuals to have more success and gain clarity of where they're going. So that's also another thing. So, so many things happening. And like I said, you know, we shared earlier today where you said we met at a conference and it's great to see all this happening, you know, in the perfect timing. So that's in a nutshell.

I love it and that's so inspiring for people because a lot of people feel like it's too late. If I've already had a long standing career doing something else, it's too late for me to change. I'm too old. There's already people who have more experience than me. And how old were you when you shifted from working with Toyota into working in personal development?

I was 38, got into the real estate industry and. Yeah, and that was where I was, that point of transition. Where is this all I'm going to do? You know, I was like making good money, but it was that fulfillment and that purpose that I had. Like, man, there's always something else. But the limited beliefs, you know, like you were sharing, the little voice, you're too old. What are you going to do? You've been a mechanic so long, you know, the limiting beliefs totally.

And even being a mechanic is something that's very, you know, in the analytical, masculine, logical brain that to go to something that's super unknown and more in like the intuitive brain must have been an even scarier shift for you. On top of the fact that you are, you know, making good money, that there's no reason that you have to shift. You could just keep, you know, working your regular job and living your life this way, but something deeper within you knew that it wasn't right for you.

Yeah, it was the intuition, you know, the whisper, you know, that, you know, wanting to do more and being in the industry of automotive and getting, you know, into a suit and tie, you know, doing mortgage, you know, it was that big change and I understood that it was going to be challenging, but it was just fixing people's loans, you know, I had that mindset to switch it that way. And now after I knew that what really need fixing was me. And when I had that challenge, fix that, and then able to apply what was happening with other individuals and sharing the tools like the mechanic, the tools that were used to fix whatever challenge they had or to give them the opportunity to allow them to move and adjust and, you know, fix it totally.

And you're still giving people tools now in a new way. So let's talk about. Yes, the tools that you're using now. Nlp, Neuro Linguistic Programming. So this is something that I before had heard of. I heard the word around here and there and I had heard that Tony Robbins uses it, but I didn't really know what it was. So can you share with us what NLP really is?

NLP, it was, you know, invented in the early 1970s by two gentlemen, John Grinder and Richard Bandler. And what they did is they studied human behavior. They were. Fritz Perls are studying what, what they were doing as far as with their patients. You know, they had patients and they were having challenges and they were having amazing positive results with no medication. It was all the language patterns and how they identified how the conscious mind and the subconscious mind work and communicate. And they were so astounded with it that they started applying this and. And you named it Neuro Linguistic programming. Which Neuro, you know, deals with the nervous system linguistic, deals with the language of the mind, you know, nearly. And our programs, programming is just our past events because it's what we're running. It's. What program are we running? Because we do things unconsciously at times because that's how we were shown, you know, we're doing it because our parents showed us or they told us this way and we think it's right, so we'll just do it. So it's all our programming and you know, identifying that. Downloading a new program and deleting the old beliefs, deleting the old programs that are outdated, downloading new beliefs, new programs and running those boom, just like that. That's how powerful Neuro linguistic programming is. I just get so excited when we speak about it.

So how does it work that you're downloading new programs in your brain? Is it a hypnosis? Because I've heard a lot of people kind of compare it to hypnosis, but it seems like it's also not. So can you explain exactly how this is happening?

Right, because we all have our past events. It's stored in the subconscious mind. There are the files, the programs, our Filters. And everything in our past is recorded and it has energy with it because everything is energy. And when our past events are triggered by anchors like a song or a picture or smell by one of our modalities, which is see, hear, feel, taste and smell, it's triggered and it'll bring back up all those emotions tied to that event. Right. And it'll bring all that up and it'll bring up that energy. Because have you ever walked into a room and you smell this cooking? It's like, oh my gosh, that takes me right back to, you know, my mom's cooking or, you know, this event or a song, right? It's like, oh my God, that's our song. Right? And it'll bring up all these emotions and then what came with it, you know, and if there's negative emotions identifying that root cause, we could go back and guided meditation, they call it timeline therapy, which is part of the neuro linguistic programming arena, we could go back, identify the learning at that event and remove that negative charge it has and bring it back to now. Then you think back of that event that used to be negative. There's a learning there. Then it doesn't have that charge to it, that negative charge to it, so that some people even forget about it, but many carry it because they haven't got a learning from that or received the learning from it, which is the gestalt method as well. There's something that you know, an explanation. It's. Once you find the root cause of something, the other anger, sadness, fear, hurt or guilt, the emotions that are tied to that event no longer have a reference point, so they diminish as well. It's like a string of pearls. If you cut the pearl in the middle, they'll all fall out. That's how the emotions that are tied to a certain event will just dissipate.

So you can go back to previous traumas, things in your life that you may be carrying negative emotions towards and pretty much rewrite the story of what happened.

Yep. Because now there's a learning where, if I could share. We had an event and we had a lady on stage and we did, you know, she had this anger towards her mother when she was 3, 4 years old. And we brought up on stage and did went past and she went down to that event and floated, you know, went over it, looked down, got the learnings from it with the knowledge. She has now went back to that event and she understood that she had other siblings that her mother needed to care for at that time. And it Wasn't that she didn't love her. It's just the others needed more attention. So she was able to get that learning from there and come into now and everything else. She's like, oh, my goodness. I've been carrying this for over 50 years. This resentment and anger towards my mother.

Wow. And how was she able to pick up that? She had that. That was the reason why she had resentment towards her mom.

Because we're asking her, saying, what's the learnings over the event? And she said, well, she didn't love me. I said, well, who else is around? I was, you know, asking her key questions, who was around? My other brothers and sisters. And I said, so do you feel they needed more attention than you? And what would be the reason if you feel that she loved her more and that just. Yeah, she's like, yeah, because they were younger, they needed more attention. Oh, my goodness. So it's like just getting the chills right now going over it. Because it's like that. That aha moment. And she just. Because after anger, sadness will come in. So then we deal with the sadness and said, okay, release the sadness. And. And she said she was carrying it for over 50 years. Unbelievable. Just in less than five minutes on stage. It was. It was amazing.

And it is so true. We carry so many things because as kids, we're not really able to understand what's happening in the world, but we're just basing everything on how we are experiencing it. And we're experiencing just our unique version, which doesn't look at the whole picture of why mom may be busy with her other kids or why they may be stressed out about money. We just begin to take on these stories, and no one in school, they don't really work with us on what are your childhood stories. So we kind of just, you know, slip them into the back of our closet and. And keep on wearing them without even realizing.

And that's the duty of the subconscious mind, is to bring back those memories, to suppress them, to move them aside so we could continue to live. Right? But then it will remind you and say, hey, we still got to deal with this old issue. Oh, go back, go back. Because I still need to keep leaving. So it's this, like, tennis match, right? Back and forth, and it'll come up, but, you know, like you shared. We just put it in the back, you know, in the back, but it'll come back up again until it's dealt with. And there's other types of therapy that this eliminates the energetic charge that it has, because there's some where you could go in and talk about it and you feel better at that moment. It's still recorded in the subconscious mind. It still has that charge to it, the energetic charge. So it'll eventually come back. You know, you could change the dressing on, on a splinter that's, you know, on your, in your hand, and you could change the dressing and it's good for a while, but eventually it's gonna need to be changed again. So we gets like that routine. But once you change the drip, pull out the splinter, clean all the area, and then you'll no longer have that issue because you remove the root issue, root cause of that needing to be cleaned or whatever happens to it gets dirty. Right. So that's identifying what the root cause is. That's how powerful the mind is.

So true. So can you share with us how people now use NLP in business settings? Because it seems like this is a massive part of why people learn nlp, how people like Tony Robbins are using it. How can it be used in this way?

And advertising is everywhere. It's being used on tv, radio, ads, posters. You walk in and once knowing the NLP language patterns, presupposing, as far as embedding commands, using language that the mind will relate to to take action in sales, you know, you can already presuppose they're purchasing something or what you're offering. And there's something called rapport, which many understand how rapport is. When you, you really connect with somebody, you really don't know, but there's. You don't know why you really like this person. There's that rapport where there's on the same frequency, same accord, and you could get into rapport with people. There's principles and practices how to do that of mirror and matching them and identifying the words that they use. If they're visual, auditory or kinesthetic, do they see, hear, or feel what you're saying? Because some may say, I see what you're saying, I feel what you're saying, or oh, I hear what you're saying. So being able to identify that and use those language patterns, you're able to get into rapport a lot quicker. That way you're able to offer your services or, you know, whatever you're offering, or become connected more on a deeper level just by the language patterns. And if you're in front of them, you're able to stand and be able to match how they stand and just see their reaction. As far as there's something called Sensory acuity, their physiological state of how their body language is. And that's something in sales too because you start, you see some people talk to people and the other person's totally disconnected and they continue to like share information. It's like you gotta even connect it yet, you know, so that, that's a powerful way of using it on the personal level. But on marketing and all these other things, there's language patterns to use as well to. You'll see when people use the visual, auditory, kinesthetic language patterns to communicate with people's buying styles or language that they relate to most.

Okay, so can you give us an.

Example of that that gets in regards to. There's something with the real estate, you know, it's like depending on like say a real estate agent comes into how you're showing a home, right. And the person comes in and, and in real estate they put like warm cookies, like fresh cookies as soon as you walk in.

Yes.

And I can hear you smiling through the microphone. Right. And it's because it's hitting the sense of smell. It's like, oh my goodness, wow, it's home. Right. And if the husband or says wow, look at, you know, this huge backyard. You know, this is something that I always wanted. And then one could say, oh, exactly, the huge backyard. You always, whatever is positive, you say once again you reinforce that positive belief or what they're saying and you never contest and put resistance. Now also you see, imagine yourself, how would it be with your kids playing in the backyard. You know, you could just imagine, just suppose or let's pretend. Because this is a time of decision. If I can share this, this is when people are making a decision. The mind will say wait, wait, wait, wait, time out. This needs to make sense to me. So there's that resistance right off, right out the gate. So here's the powerful thing, we're going to use it as a. Just imagine you, you purchased this home. Or just imagine you took action and bought this. Whatever they're purchasing, just imagine how will you feel once you apply it? Or just suppose or just pretend. Because one is taking them outside of the break down before the breakthrough that that challenging part of the limited beliefs. And you're having them imagine where they're already, they already have it. And it's like boom. Resistance drops quickly because the mind works on picture sounds and feelings. So when you say just imagine, what would it be like? Or just suppose or just pretend. I'm not, we're not going to do it. Just pretend. That's boom. And that brings the energy down because when people are making a decision, it's like the energy is like resistance. Resistance, resistance. Because that's how the mind works. It resists change. And if we're able to understand that and identify that and use language patterns and principles to minimize that resistance. And always done with ethical influence. Ethical influence is key because it's to better the individual you're speaking with. It's to empower them, to get them into a different state for their better well being. That's key as well.

Absolutely, yes. This is not a superpower you want to use to get people to do your dishes for you or whatever.

Oh, for kids. Okay. Yeah. If you have kids. But it's true. Just imagine you finish cleaning your room now. You're going to be able to go out and play or go out and do this. Just imagine it's done. Oh, okay. See, you're providing value by them doing what they're resisting of doing. But you're already, you know, presupposing you're already showing the value and results by understanding this nlp, right? And that's the powerful thing. So you clean your room. Imagine cleaning your room after. You're going to be able to, you're going to go out and get this and I'm going to give you this or however, but you're providing value for them to take action, which minimizes resistance.

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I incorporate all three modalities of the hear see feel because we all have different representational system rep system. I'm more of a kinesthetic visual meaning the feeling, the feeling part and a visual. There's more of the auditory digital which are usually the accountants, doctors, dentists, lawyers. They're the detail oriented like the Steve Jobs and all these, they're detail oriented so they like facts, data, numbers. They like okay so you know it's going to increase your business 30% because in in 2017 and that's that's juicy to them, that's delicious type of words. So you can use facts, figures and then also just imagine see yourself because you want to touch on the three modalities and talk to their representational system of how they process information.

I love that. And I also always think about the doshas and how they're connected with business and it's what my new book's about. But the one that's about the analytical one that you mentioned sounds very, very pitta and the one that's more feeling kapha and the one that's more imaginative is more vata. So even these doshas do have to do with sort of like NLP and how you're marketing and speaking with people. Because we all connect to things in a different way.

Exactly. And it is like the language of the mind, but we have different perceptions of what's going on and how we relate. But at the end of the day, that's how the human mind works. And it's all energy and.

Absolutely.

Yeah. And being able to offer, you know, one services and providing the value, knowing what the client is looking for, what's their goal, what's their desired outcome, you know, what, what are they? And that's by the questions one asks. You know, it's. It's asking the powerful questions because that's going to get you the results you desire and being able to come from that space when you're offering your services, you know, whatever. Is it coaching? Is it, you know, training? Is it how, you know, we do things is being able to identify and allowing the client or the customer to share that by asking questions and knowing when to be quiet and allow them to say. Because they'll share exactly what they need. They'll tell you exactly what you need to know to identify where the void is or where their desired outcomes are, where the lack is. And that's where you are able to share your services if that's what you're able to fulfill for them or refer them out.

So. Very true. So can you share with us some kind of like tips and tricks that people use in nlp? Like what are some of the go to ways that you can word something to help you in your business?

I always say, when do you feel would be the time? Because a lot of people use the word now because I might daily post in my book. It's like I am empowered now. That's an action word. But it's, it's knowing when to use it. But if one does not know how to use it, people identify that it's like, oh, here we go, they're doing nlp. You know, they're. But it's identifying and using the. Just suppose allowing them to go on the trip. Keeping it general. We call it chunking up or chunking down. Keep it general so they could get their perception of what you're saying. Because we all have different filters. It's like if you put a picture up on a screen and a lot of my PowerPoints are pictures, I'll explain, I'll set the context. But a lot of PowerPoints are pictures because I want the audience to see what their perception is of what I'm projecting on the screen. See, I really know what I want, where I'm going with this. But if I tell them, then it could eliminate their filters or how they were thinking about it.

Love that. So to have something like a picture instead of having words, let people come up with their own perception. And I know a lot of, in nlp, it's about like languaging for getting people to make a purchase that maybe they're not comfortable with. So can you kind of explain how people do that? Like, let's say you are a coach and a lot of people are afraid of investing in a coach. They've never done it before. It feels really scary. But it is for their benefit. But you need to help them see why. For their benefit. So, like, what would you do from an NLP perspective if you were coached to have someone sign like a three month, like, coaching program with you?

It could be, you know, see what, what's the reason they're. They're reaching out? Or what's the reason? What, what do you feel your challenges are? I don't, I don't say problems. I always say challenges. Is it, what are your challenges? What do you feel your challenges are? Well, I get stuck. Right. Or great. Okay, so you get stuck and what else? Right? And I don't have a lot of time. You know, I'm traveling. Okay, so you get, you feel like you're stuck and you're, you don't have time. I'll say so if I could allow you to get unstuck and find a way that you create to get unstuck and that you're not going to invest a lot of time in, it's going to, you know, we'll get it done quickly. Would that be something you'd be interested in?

See, love that. Yeah. So instead of like, I feel like a lot of people when they're afraid, they almost like put in their words, like, you don't want to do it. Like, you don't have to say yes. Like you can say no. Or like they're putting that almost in their words. But instead of being like, oh, well, how would you like to proceed? It's giving that person an opportunity. Or even, I know, like, I think it's part of nlp. But giving packages, like, would you like to do package like 1, 2 or 3 instead of do you want to work with me or not? Because saying do you want to work with me or not is giving like a 50% choice of not. But if you're saying these are my three packages, you're not even saying the opportunity of not working with you. So they're more likely to say yes.

Right. Because you got the good, better bet packages and whatever they decide. Because. And that's another thing that Sahara, which you just brought up, because there are clients that they're the dabblers, the good, better, best packages. They're the dabblers. They want. We'll say Your packages are 90, $99, $2.99 and $9.99. There's the dabblers who just want to touch, they want to test it out. They're the $99 customers. Right? And then there's the ones that I'm just, you know, the average. They're in the middle. And then they're the ones, the VIPs that by the VIP, they're going to tell everybody at work they just got this top notch package for $9.99 there. They bought the best of the best. See, so these are the personalities as well, is when you're able to offer that. Because many feel that many of the coaches or I work with, they don't feel that they have enough value to offer a high end course. And it's not that, it's just there's a market out there and what one's projecting and believing in what one's selling, right? Or when one's offering and there's people out there waiting to buy your top package, even though one doesn't believe it, there is, because that's people's buying style. They want to be, you know, the Sid vip. They want a valet. They want to be on first name Basis or Mr. And Mrs. Basis. You know, they love that. That's the personality. And then that's ones in business understanding that catering to that type of client. And it's amazing.

Yeah, yeah, definitely. There's those types of clients that are gonna pay you the least and take the most amount of your time. And then there's the types of those clients who are like, no, I just want to like go all in and commit. And they're the ones who are gonna actually be the easiest to work with because they're all in and you're not forcing them. Whereas sometimes the ones who are like, I'm not sure, they're super hesitant. They're like trying to negotiate with you. They end up being a nightmare to work with.

And here's a, here's a tip as well. If you have to convince somebody to get your program, you're gonna have to convince them to stay in it. You have to convince them, oh, my goodness, yeah. And because I see some, some coaches do that and they're like, let them go already. You know, they're like, you know, you got to get my program and it sounds really needy. And then they like, they have the needy deodorant on because people could smell it, right? And it's just let it go. Because if one does get them to buy in, they're going to have to convince them to stay in the program. And like you share, those are the ones that are going to take the most of your time. Now in nlp, we call, you know, we do a process of setting boundaries and enforcing them and understanding we are the gatekeeper to our lives because who we lend in and who we keep out is our decision. And when we have enough confidence and understand our value, the need to impress others diminishes because we understand our value and we embody that. And that's part of the confidence that is instilled when we do, you know, the nlp, the training and understanding how the mind works and embodying that. And we don't have to convince anybody because there's going to be enough value projected in the way we, we speak and how, how we stand or how we project our tonality and our physiology. If it's live that people are like, oh, they really believe in what they're talking about. And that's another thing that we talk about is, is the six levels of who we are, the six layers. Because when we're aligned with our purpose and who we say we are, they feel it. Your client feels that this person is telling me the truth. And if one is not, your client will feel it too, because it's incongruent. And your physiology will do it without even one realizing it because it's misaligned and it's incongruent. And your physiology will project that by rocking back and forth or your tonality goes down. And I see that happening with certain individuals. Even on stage. If somebody is not sharing something, you can see their body language, how it may go back and forth or they'll step back and certain things, certain keys that are triggered when one is not speaking the truth.

Definitely. And I think it's really important for us to learn about those layers of ourselves because if we don't know ourselves and how we operate as individuals, it's going to be really hard for us to serve other people. And I think sometimes we try to skip that part. We're like, oh, I automatically want to go into business and have like a.

Six figure coaching leaders Microwave leaders. It's like, it's like wait a minute. Right?

Yeah. And it's a process, but a fun process, but definitely it's. Yeah. And it never ends. We're always learning more and more about ourselves.

Yeah. That's what I remember my dad told me. He says, hey kid. He says, just when you think you know it all, something will happen in life and you have to learn all over again. It's like so true. So true. And which is great. Exactly like you say, who you become on the journey of getting to where one desires to be. It's not getting that title. It's what one becomes. And if we do that organically. Organically become a leader and not be appointed just because somebody knows somebody and you're a leader now. It's not. That's title driven leaders. And we want to be a leader that's cultivated through the process through of the plant and the cultivation and then the harvest time of getting that goal and saying, yeah, this is who I became. Because that's where the learnings come from. The learning knowledge is writing stuff down. Activity knowledge is doing it. Actually going out there and messing it up and figuring it out. And then the modeling knowledge is modeling somebody else. And then the teaching knowledge is when you're able to teach somebody. So there's the four levels of knowledge as well.

So very true. And learning new tools like NLP help us understand ourselves in a deeper way. Help us with our businesses. I mean, I know for example that Tony Robbins does a lot of nlp and he's probably the one that a lot of people have heard about it from. And his whole, all his conferences are like very NLP'd from the processes they're doing. But and also like the way that they're selling to people too. And you don't ever feel like you're forced into buying a program. You're actually so excited to that people are running to the table. They're like, oh my God, how can I sign up for all of these? They are more than volunteering. They're like, you know, almost not fighting, but like they all want to sign.

Up so bad to a clipboard. It's like, give me that.

Exactly. And that's the energetic state you want to get people to that they're like, oh my God, yes. Like I will sell my car to work with you. I will do anything to work with you because that's how much you are helping me. And most of us, I feel like we have self worth issues that we do. I don't believe that we're able to get that response from people, like maybe a Tony Robbins can. But actually just the gifts that we have to share already at this point, most of us are not valuing them enough. And because we are not valuing them, other people do not value.

Correct. Because it's what we're projecting. If we're uncertain of what we're sharing, believe me, your clients are going to feel that if we're certain, we could pierce. It's like when. Once, you know, like, you know, I've seen you on stage and Amazing on stage because you're speaking your truth, you're talking your walk. You're not walking the time. You're talking your walk, meaning you're talking the truth and knowing that. And you'll. Pierce, you'll speak through people. Because everything is energy. And that's the Tony Robbins is like, when emotions are high, intelligence is low. And the emotional state, because, you know, breaking that down of how the conscious mind and subconscious mind work. The conscious mind, once the emotions are high on this, on the conscious mind, it's like intelligence is low because it's. It's like, so emotionally charged. And that's why there's. And when emotions are down, intelligence is up. So that's when that buyer's remorse, because some people are like, oh, my gosh, I want to get it. And all of a sudden, the emotions go down, and it's like, what did I just do? It's like, wait a minute. But when you're providing a value that's going to allow that person to become better in whatever their. The area they're challenged in and to grow with, you know, going through your program, then it's all that much better. Because we understand once there's that buying decision that needs to be made, it's an uncomfortable state. And you share with their client. I understand. This is the uncomfortable part. Be real with them. I understand. I was in the same boat. When I had to make a decision. I was. I was going back and forth. How am I gonna afford it? I don't know if I have time. I was going. So I understand. But that was the decision that I made that allows me to do what I do here to help others.

See, going that way, I love that. I love just going into their perspective and being like, yeah, I remember, too, when I was signing up for my first coach or my first higher investment program, I was super scared. I thought of a million reasons why it wouldn't work. I ended up doing it, and look where it brought Me. So I think instead of trying to put ourselves on this high horse, to actually be like, no, I actually am so with you, I'm only just a few steps ahead of you. I still don't have everything figured out, but in those steps that I've taken, I've been able to learn a few things that can help you where you are right now.

Right, Exactly. And as is presuppose, like, I can help you have that confidence. You can. You will help them. You know, the language patterns we use are more. More direct, you know, and like you say, the perceptual positioning. And what's the saying that people don't care how much you know until they know how much you care. And when you put yourself in their shoes, in their position, say, I totally get it as well, because when it was my time of decision, I was uncomfortable. I didn't even. I couldn't even sleep after I made them. I was like, oh, my goodness, what did I just do? But it was the best decision of my life, you know, and to share that because. Because when we share that challenging part and the success we had and say, that's why I'm so open to share with others and be quiet because they're going to. Oh, here's another thing really quick is allow them to go to that physiological shift where you'll see their eyes go up and down and they're searching, and allow them to go through that buying process. Because I see coaches sometimes want to speak really quick, and it just kills the energy of that decision. Entered that time of decision. It just cuts them off because they have to go through it. And once one shares that and let them go through it, they have to go through that process and wait for them to speak.

Okay, so if you do offering your program instead of being like. When they're silent, being like. And then there's this, and this is this.

We call that global vomiting.

Totally. I used to 100% do that because I felt like I needed to talk as much as possible to, like, give them their, like, value. But actually what they just needed is that space to think. And sometimes in that silence, like, we're so afraid of the silence. But that silence is necessary for them.

To go through the shift. There's some process, there's questions that I have that flow to get people. And it's just allow them to go through it is because of the whole process, the flow of questions, because they're made for the subconscious mind and conscious mind to communicate. And it's just, you know, when Will you stop this from being a limitation? And I just think, quiet. It is like now it's like. Or next week it's like, you know, we'd identify the limitations. Like, one of the questions is, when will you stop it from being a limitation? And I'll just stay quiet. And it's like, they're like, well, now, great. Then what action step are you going to take to stop it from being limitation? Like you just said, right? Like that, you know, very powerful.

So powerful. So you will be generously offering a webinar for us to dive deeper into nlp, into learning about how it can help shift us as well as help us in our businesses as well. Because a lot of people listening, they are entrepreneurs, they want to be entrepreneurs, they're healers, they're coaches. And sometimes the business stuff can be a little trickier. So can you share with us some of the things that you're going to be discussing in this webinar, be more.

On how the conscious mind and subconscious mind work of how many bits of information the conscious mind has compared to the subconscious mind? And we are the chief empowerment officer of our life. We are the ones who run it. And being able to identify that and knowing that we're sharing a bit earlier today as far as when it's decision time and illustrate how the mind works and what happens during that time, and being able to identify rep systems and language patterns to see what resistance is there and being able to offer value to the customer or the entrepreneur as far as for them to take action. And even if one's an employee, this doesn't have to be even in business entrepreneurship, but in life in general, when I do it with youth in juvenile hall, well, my foundation works a lot with the youth in juvenile hall here in Orange County, California. And it's amazing to see and I speak to parolees that have been incarcerated for over 5 to 50 years and to see what happens by just having questions and removing those limited beliefs. It's amazing to see how powerful it is. And I'll share some of the principles that I use for that. So it doesn't matter what arena one is in either an employee, entrepreneur, a parent, somebody younger. It's how the mind works. And I'll break that down in a practical manner where you'd be like, oh my goodness. So that's some of the things I'll be offering. So, yeah, it affects a whole range of individuals.

I am so excited for it myself. So I am going to be live on this webinar too, guys. I am so excited. We are going to be announcing exactly where it is at the end of this episode and we will also have it available for replay. If listening to this episode later on, you'll still be able to hop on the webinar. So thank you so much Ruben for being on this podcast, for sharing your wisdom with us and for inspiring us to go deeper into the subconscious mind and really programming those limiting beliefs that we're walking around with.

All right, thank you Sahara for allowing me to be on here and the privilege to share as well.

Thanks. Bye Bye. So if you want to dive further into NLP and see how it can change your life, business and mindset forever, please join us on this this free webinar over in the Show Notes. You'll be able to find it on thehighestselfpodcast.com if you just look at this episode in the Show Notes or SoundCloud wherever you're listening to this and be sure to check it out. It will be taking place on February 25th at 6pm Pacific Standard Time, 6pm New York time and if you're not available at that time still by signing up, we will email you the replay so you'll be able to watch it at any time from the comfort of your home. So again, February 25th, mark your calendars and head over to the show notes on HighestSelfPodcast.com, find this episode and you will see the link right there to register. I will be on the webinar as well. I'm really looking forward to learning more about nlp. It's something that I've been wanting to learn for a really long time and I'm so grateful to have found Ruben to really want to offer value for our highest self podcast community. So I'll see you guys on the webinar. I hope that you enjoyed this episode and if you loved this episode I would love to share with you this the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your Mind Body Type, which is different from my book Eat Feel Fresh. It is my unreleased never to be released book because it is now part of my Eat Right for your Mind Body Type program. I would love to send it to you absolutely free. All you gotta do is leave me a review in the itunes store, take a screenshot and email it over to me@saharaetfeelfresh.com Again take a screenshot of the review and email it to me@saharaatfeelfresh.com and I will send you the first half of my unreleased book. Eat right for your mind body type. Namaste.

Sam.