180: Overcoming Rejection with Matthew Del Negro

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. How are you guys? I hope this month is treating you well. Well, I am really excited to bring on this week's guest, Matthew Del Negro. So if you've ever watched some TV shows like the Sopran Scandal, the West Wing, United States of Tara, Teen Wolf, Goliath, and an upcoming show which we'll be talking about in this episode, then you've seen this guy's face on the screen. His name is Matthew Del Negro. So he's been in, you know, tons of the top shows, but his dream of really being that star hadn't yet come true and he was tired of, you know, just waiting and waiting and waiting to be chosen, which is the case. And in a lot of entertainment based businesses you can have everything set, but it's this almost element of not knowing, you know, and that's really hard. And we talk a lot about that in this conversation. He also has an incredible podcast called 10,000 no's, which is really just based on his career of being told no for a living. And he really gets up close and personal with a lot of people to discuss how all of us have been told no many, many times and we still had to pave our own path to eventually get those yeses or moreover, create those y inside ourselves. And I was recently on his podcast as well, so I really recommend checking it out. So really, this conversation is all about overcoming the no's. What happens when your dream is on the other end of this person who's telling you that you're not going to get there. So he has a really brave story about how he went from an athlete to becoming an actor and the path that it has taken him to get to where he is. And his upcoming show, which I'm really excited to share with you and he'll be sharing with us more detail on which is a Netflix comedy series called Huge in France. And that is an eight episode show available for streaming April 12th. So I'm really excited to bring on Matthew Del Negro and I hope this conversation inspires you to never take no for an answer. And before we get started, check out these brands that make highest self podcast possible. This episode is brought to you by uva. UVA is a modernized ayurvedic supplement company that take certain issues that we have such as mood joints, immunity, digestion, and creates these custom little packets exactly for us infusing ancient Ayurvedic herbs with modern vitamins and minerals. I take the mood formula daily. It is great if you work a stressful job, had adrenal fatigue, ever suffer from anxiety or even depression and it really heals you from a fundamental and holistic level. So if you want to try it out, head over to Uva Y O U V Use the code Sahara and you'll receive 35% off your first order. And they now ship to almost every country globally, so check it out. If you live internationally, they may be shipping to your country too. And they just added India. Guys, I'd love to introduce you to the tea brand I've been loving recently, Vadam Teas. The tea starts in the mountains of the Himalayas and within hours of harvest are packed at their tea facility and shipped all around the world. I'm personally indulging in their master tea Assorted pack which contains 15 loose leaf blends, black, oolong, green and white. They pack their teas in single serve premium pyramid tea bags so you can have the convenience of loose leaf tea anywhere. Not just this, but they've managed to eliminate all middlemen from the sourcing process, thereby retaining all earnings in the source region for the farmers. These teas are fair trade, organic and pesticide free and they benefit the farmers directly, which I deeply care about. Additionally, every time you pick up a pack of Vadum Tees, a part of the revenue goes towards educating the tea growers children, which makes it all even more worthwhile. Oprah just listed as one of her top favorite things, so I take Oprah's word for it. If you want to try this out, head over to vadumteas.com V A H-A-M teas.com and use coupon code Sahara for 20% off. Again, head over to vadomteas.com and use coupon code SAHARA for 20% off. Welcome Matthew to the Highest Self podcast. It's so good to have you here.

So nice to be here.

So the first question that I would love to ask you is what makes you your highest self?

Wow, you're just coming right out of the gates, huh? I would say when I am not thinking of myself first, really thinking about my podcast which you and I were just discussing. It's all to help other people and I love doing it. When I think about my acting, when my focus is on my character and not on what I'm going to get out of it, that's when I'm best. When I'm with my family and I'm Thinking about them and not my own selfish needs. That's when I'm best. So that would. I think that might kind of COVID it totally.

Being of service and getting out of your own way.

Yeah.

Yeah. So you've been in so many different shows and West Wing and Sopranos and Goliath and your new show, which we're gonna talk about, but it hasn't always been easy. And you even have a podcast called 10,000 no's. So I would love to hear just kind of about your journey into acting and how really what you took out of it. Finding your own self worth despite other people reflecting. No.

Yeah. Well, I was late to the game compared to a lot of people that I've now known who were acting as children. I was not a child actor by any means. I don't even think I realized that it was. I don't think I ever thought about it. I just, you know, I told people that I used to see. You know, it's like you watch Raiders of Lost, Arkansas. And I'm like, yeah, that's just. That's Indiana Jones. Like, I'm not thinking that that's a guy who shows up for work and is like on a set shooting a movie. Like, that didn't really compute. When I was a kid, I just was very far from this whole world. So I played sports my whole life. I played lacrosse in college. Boston College. I know you're from outside of Boston. And I was. You know, in retrospect, it makes more sense. Growing up, I played a little piano and sang, but never. It wasn't like I did it officially. Like I was. Wasn't a part of anything, but I just kind of did it. I dabbled with guitar a little bit in college, so there was an artistic side. I was. I was a. I wrote a little bit, but it was kind of more just for school. But I took creative writing classes, so it makes sense now. But at the time I was playing lacrosse. I went abroad. I went to Italy between sophomore and junior year because, ironically, I didn't want to go. When most people go spring of junior year, they would go abroad and I would have missed the lacrosse season. So I went. Prior to that was going out with a girl. We broke up. My sister had given me a journal. Luckily, really, the journal saved my life. I mean, I was having kind of full blown panic attacks. I just didn't realize that's what they were at the time. But a lot of stuff came up and I just poured it into this journal. And that journal was the first of many journals. But that's the first signs of me going, maybe I want to write, maybe I want to act. And it was scary because I had no path whatsoever to it, or at least I didn't see it at the time. And I was like, what is this voice in me that's coming out? I went back to school. I fell right back into playing lacrosse. And at the end of fall ball, which is kind of the off season, we were running around the field at practice and I had the thought of, like, you know, I wish I'd just roll my ankle. And I thought, this is crazy. Like I'm. I'm wishing that I would get hurt so I don't have to play. Like, just stop playing. And I went in and I told the coach and he said, think about it. I said, I have. And that was very scary. But then I went out for a play, didn't get anything. Went out for another play a month later, and I got the lead. But it was like a tiny, tiny little play in a lecture hall at Boston College. It wasn't. It wasn't even in a real theater, but I just, I did it. Two night performance and I told everybody, I'm going to be an actor. And I think people probably thought I was, you know, certifiably insane, But I just started taking film studies classes. I was an English major, already got a film studies minor, and. And kind of that was the beginning of the awesome but brutal path to where I am right now.

I love that. And I think a lot of people feel like if they didn't do something from the time they were a kid, it's too late, especially with acting, as so many people that we know were child actors. And I think it's really brave of you to be from this sports people would probably label you as a jock. And then you're like, I want to be an artist. And even that, I mean, with masculinity, it's such a big thing to step into wanting to be a creative. And maybe like, did you get response from your peers being like, actor?

What I had, yeah. I mean, I think people. There's not much more of a journey. It's like 180 degrees from lacrosse player to theater, you know. And so I do think people are like, what. What are you doing, man? Like, what. What is this? But, but the interesting thing, and I found this funny, I figured it out very quickly, was how people want to define all of us in the simplest terms. And prior to saying I was going to be an actor, I would Be at a party and I'd be, you know, just an idiot who would grab a, you know, an ironing board and pretend it's a surfboard and do something dumb or whatever to make people laugh at that point. You're just like a jackass at a party when you say you're going to be an actor and you do the same thing or something similar, they're like, oh, you're such an actor. And people want to define you by just the smallest possible box they can put you in. They will do it. And so people started to do that. And then all of a sudden I was an actor. And then as an actor, I found that just in casting, when you start and you get cast in one thing and they're like, oh, that's what you do. That's what you do. That's what you do. And I constantly, and I'm proud of this, especially in the last couple of years, have been trying to reinvent and go, yes, I can do that, but there's a whole other host of things that I can do that you just don't know yet. So don't just put me in that box. And, and that's, I would think if you asked most actors, their biggest frustration, that's one of them, is that everybody, someone has a box office hit or they become famous for a particular role, everybody wants to cast them in the same thing. And you're like, okay, that's cool, but I want to explore some other. Some other things.

Yeah. You know, and with acting especially, I feel like it's a lot of you almost become really self aware because people label you so quickly. You're like, wait, is that what everyone is seeing in me? And then it maybe will create a false idea of who you are based off of what other people see in you.

Right, right. And you have to, you know, you talk about being self aware. That is, that's kind of one of the biggest jobs, is constantly mining yourself for who you are. And all of us are so many people, you know, we have so many sides to us. And it's kind of the beautiful thing about acting is that you're given this role and you have to figure out what your jumping off point with that role is. You know, where. Where am I like this character? Where am I not like this character? And you can start there and start to build, build the character, and then eventually you're representing this person's life, this character to the world. But you have to bring yourself to it. And if you don't know yourself how can you really bring yourself to it? So it's a constant digging and digging and digging. That's kind of the beauty of it.

It is, yeah. It's, you know, it's such a different field, I think, like acting, music, because it's almost like you can know how amazing you are, but it's until that you're chosen by someone else. So it's like you have to do a lot of personal work, but then also you're at the risk of someone else's mercy, which is like a really, really difficult balance. Because in other, like an entrepreneurship, you can almost just like, keep pushing and then eventually you'll get somewhere. But with acting, there's like, that other person involved too.

Right, right.

So how do you deal with this level of uncertainty?

Well, full disclosure, sometimes I deal with it well and sometimes I don't. You know, depends when you catch me. But really, that. That's the job. I mean, it's like, how do you keep your head right when you literally don't know what's next? You don't know what tomorrow might bring, you don't know what next week. And, you know, you certainly don't know what six months from now is going to bring. And I have. I have a brother who's in finance, and his life is so different. And, you know, whenever there's like a family trip, it's like, what are you doing June 30th? I'm like, dude, I don't know what I'm doing tomorrow. So there's a. There you. Sometimes I think when I've been most successful in dealing with the uncertainty, there's a trust that I work really hard, I really care about what I do. I have a bit of a track record and just reminding myself, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming, it's coming. And I don't know when, I don't know how, I don't know where, but all I can control is my habits, my work ethic, my attitude, and that gives me a better chance of that thing to come sooner. I also, you know, you talk about that you're reliant on someone else to hire you as an actor. That is the bane of my existence. And that's what led me to start my podcast, which was just this idle time. It's never idle time because you're working harder when you're not working. I think when you're working, it's a joy. Like, here's your assignment. This is what you're doing. You show up, you get Paid. It's incredible. When you're not working, you're searching for work, you're working on your craft. It's so much more work, you know, so the podcast is something where I could say, this is what I'm doing. And it's still reliant on, you know, you have to have people listening. But there's much more control, let's say, in creating a podcast than there is in acting in terms of, you know, let's set up this interview. Here we are. We do it. You put it out. You know, you're in the driver's seat. It's. It's. It is entrepreneurial, and acting is also entrepreneurial. There. There are a lot of things that actors don't realize they can do to have more control. But, yeah, ultimately, from audition to audition, from role to role, there are so many things out of your control that you need to take a long lens view of it, which is, how can I be really great? Every opportunity I get, every time I get into a room, I'm going to be great, and I'm still most likely not going to get the gig. I mean, that's just the deal. And then once in a while, you go in and you're great and you get the gig. And there are even sometimes when you go in and you're not great and you get the gig and you're like, what? And it all seems to work out, like, in retrospect, you look back and you're like, oh, I got this. Maybe this is my way of justifying it or stringing it together, but it works for me, is to go, oh, I got that one. Because I was supposed to meet that person. I got this one perfect example. I told you, I'm writing a script right now. The original inception of this character, that's my lead character in the script, was from a role that I played on a kind of cheesy procedural show in 2012. I have traces in my computer from 2012 grappling with this idea of this character. And then I wrote, like, three or four shitty versions of this movie. And I'm now into a few drafts of what I think will eventually be close to what the movie will end up being. But it's like, I never would have thought from that particular gig that I would have this artistic, you know, this thing is very much taking all of me. But at the time, it's like, I didn't know that, you know, I could just got this, literally a guest spot on a, like, a procedural network TV show that you know, could have come and went, but there's always something, you know, Totally.

Maybe that show was, like, gifted to you by the universe to implant that idea within you that you would later run with and would become like your biggest movie.

Right. Oh, and you, you know, you will love this. So I have an acting coach here, Kim Gillingham, who's amazing, and she does a lot of Jungian work, dream work, but the way she describes it is she says, why did this script and this character hurtle through the universe and land on your lap right now? What are you dealing with right now that you're working through that this character, this script, this show, this film can help you learn? And it's. I just. I love that view of it because it's like, it's not just a profession. I mean, on one hand, yes, this is a way you make a living, but it's. It really is. I mean, to your point of highest self podcast, it's how do I figure out one more thing? Even if it's a tiny thing, how do I figure out one more thing for myself that kind of makes this whole existence make a little more sense?

So true.

You know, it just. It makes it. It gives it some weight that it might not otherwise have.

Yeah. And how different characters, different movies resonate with you. At different times of your life, you go through a phase that you're like, obsessed, you know, a certain kind of person or a certain kind of film. And then a month later, something happens and you're just like, not about it and how it's just such a reflection of what your soul is going through at this time.

Yeah.

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Yes, with a few exceptions. And there are also some times where I felt really, you can go in and feel like, oh, my God, I really felt connected. And you never hear and you're like, what is going on? That's the frustrating thing. Yes. Most of the time when you get something, you feel like, ah, I was riding that wave and they saw it, something extra was happening and I got the job. But on the other hand, I heard. I also remember, this is a long time ago. I got something. I didn't even live here yet. My wife and I were out here. This is a long time ago. We had just been married and we were out here and I got an audition and I hated it. It was for another one. It was like a network show that I wasn't really digging. And I was like, this is ridiculous and so stupid. And I'm like, just irate. And then I was like, you know what? You need a job. So put the work in. So I tried to find a connection with the character. The next day, for some reason, my wife was with me. Like, she was like, in the car when I went in. She's not an actress at all. She hates this business. So she was in the car, though. I went in for the audition, I came out and like, well, that's not happening. And I get a call like an hour or two later, like, you got the job. And I was like, what? I'm like, I was almost mad, like, they couldn't find somebody better than the shit that I just did in there. I'm like, God, people must really be terrible. But even that one. There ended up being something redeeming in the job. But it was. Sometimes that happens, and you're like, oh, my God. I don't know how to make any sense. But for the most part, yes, I would say when I have gone in and just really leapt into it, and I just. I do the preparation, but then go in and let it rip, there's a better chance of success. That said, plenty of times when you do that and nothing comes back. So again, like I say, a lot of it is a mental game. And I had a friend from Boston College who was in finance as well, and we were talking at one point, this is a while ago, and he's like, it's so interesting that you chose this profession. I'm like, what do you mean? He goes, well, you're so, like, you're kind of logical about things. Like, you know, but you're in this Crazy business that there's like, no. Who knows which way is up? And I was like, I don't. I don't think I agree. I said, yeah, maybe day to day, it's like up and down like this. But if you look. If you look at a wide shot, I feel like if you put in the work and you're constantly getting better, there's a little bit of a chart that goes up like this, you know, and your. Your lows are a little bit higher than they used to be, but you still have lows. And he's like, is that true, or is that just you putting your positive spin on it? I'm like, I don't know, but that's what I choose to believe.

And I think it's something bigger than you. It's your. It's your dharma. Like, you couldn't imagine life another way. So it's like you're. You're gonna make it work because this is why your soul is here. And it's so. Do you know Abraham Hicks? Have you heard of Abraham Hicks?

You know what? I've been. There's somebody on Inst. Instagram, I think it's called, like, Law of Attraction something. And. And somehow they got on my fee. Somebody must have. I don't know what it was, but they're always quoting Abraham Hicks. And I love the stuff.

Yeah. So I was at Abraham Hicks last week, and three of the people who asked questions were actors, and they were pretty much saying, why aren't I getting the roles that I want? Et cetera. And for one of the people, Esther, who is channeling Abraham, said, it's because you've lost the joy in the acting, and you're just doing it out of this, like, desperate need of, oh, I need the rule. I need the rule. I need the role. But it's not coming from that place of joy anymore. And then for another person, she said that it was because they were too attached to the outcome. So to. And as you were saying, like, that role that you got that you didn't even want, you kind of just went in there, showed up, you were not attached to the outcome at all, that it just landed to you. And a lot of the trick of manifestation is to want something, but to also not like being. Feel like you're gonna die without it.

Yeah. And that's the funny thing is. Very funny, actually. What happens in this business is there is a dynamic that's created that is not good for the actor. If you're not careful, you think you start to go like, there can be an audition that comes in, and you don't even really love the material. But as you go closer to it, you're like, I gotta have it. You get into this, whether it's competitive or it's desperate, whatever it is, and then it goes further, and then you're like, oh, now I'm testing for the thing on this. And the stakes go up, and maybe you're even signing a contract before you go in. So there's like, oh, my God, this could change my life financially for this amount of time. And if you really think back to the first time you saw the material, you didn't even love it. But now you're in this dynamic where you're like, I've got to have it. I've got to have it. And if you don't get it, you're like, it's a gut punch. And the funny thing is, I've looked back through my email sometimes, and it could be like a week prior, and I see an appointment, an email about an appointment that I was really, like, hot and heavy on, and I didn't get it. And I'm like, wait, what was that? Like, I don't even. It's almost like you don't even remember it. It's like all of these things are a dime a dozen. It's almost like you need to let go a little bit and just again, do the work, do the stuff that you can control, go in, put your best foot forward, and if it's the right one, it's the right one. If it's not, it's not now easy to say that in an interview. Not easy to do that when you have bills and a family and all of the things that the real world comes with. And I think that, again, is part of the work. How do you maintain this kind of looseness and this. This kind of joy for the actual art when you also need, logistically, to get a job? And that's tough. The thing is, and what my podcast is all about, 10,000 no's, you know, and not only actors and writers, directors, producers, but entrepreneurs, anybody, athletes, is knowing, yes, it's really tough right now. Everybody goes through it. Everybody goes through it. I told you. That's what I love about your podcast is like, you're in a good spot, but you don't lie to the people that are listening to you and make it sound like every day is just like, you know, easy breezy. There's a lot of work, there's a lot of disappointment, there's a Lot of valleys along with the peaks. And that's just kind of the deal. That's it. I mean, like, that's life, you know, Deal with it. You know, I. I think that's. Sometimes people forget that and they think they're owed this. Like, they're owed for it to be amazing every second of every day. I think you're setting yourself up for disappointment, and I think you're probably going to serve yourself better if you realize, like, there will be dips, but those dips are actually, you know, to be honest, those dips are the places where you learn the most. They just. They just suck to get through.

And there wouldn't be that polarity if you hadn't gone through the dips. If you're always like, you wouldn't appreciate.

Yeah, you wouldn't appreciate.

And then you see people who maybe they were brought up with all the wealth, everything. They still have dips, even from that place, because it's just humanity. We need that contrast.

Right.

So I'd love to hear about the dip that you went through after your role in Goliath, that period of uncertainty for you.

Yeah. So Goliath was the Amazon show with Billy Bob Thornton, and actually a lot of it shot right around here, right down Santa Monica, near the pier, and great show. First season was amazing, and I did the second season and loved it. Loved the experience. Worked with the showrunner, was a director I had worked with before, Very collaborative. Loved my role. Just love the material. It's just an incredible experience. So that ended in December, and it didn't air until June. And in the interim was pilot season, which is kind of new, mostly network shows, casting for the following year and whatever. So it's a busy period of time. I was feeling really great about my work, really great about where I was in my head and just going into the room, and it was like crickets. You know, for whatever reason, I was not in favor at that particular time. And this happens. P.S. this is not. What happened to me is not extraordinary for an actor. It's kind of just the deal. Like, you can go chunks of time without working, and luckily I have some voiceover work that brings in some money, but it's kind of like, you know, it's sparse. And in the middle of that, I was just so frustrated. And not even. I don't know if it was frustrated. Like, I was down on myself because it was different this time. There have been times in the past where I was down on myself. This was more like I felt like, God, I just did this work that I'm really proud of. I'm going into rooms, like, don't they see what I have? It's just this frustration, this frustration. And we were out one night and my wife and I, with friends and, you know, not a good thing. I had some drinks and our kids were out and they were both at sleepovers. And we came back and I was just so fired up talking to my wife and I was like, I'm just coming. And I just started like hitting a wall. And I mean, embarrassed to say that, you know, not like I'm 19 years old, you know, and I'm literally punching a wall. I broke my hand. I got a boxer's fracture right here, the fourth metacarpal. Totally embarrassing. Had to go to go to urgent care that Monday. And you know, they're asking questions like, you know, do you have kids? And I'm like, yeah. And then I'm like, wait a second, are they asking? You know, it was like that kind of thing where you're like, oh my God, like what a bonehead I am. And I can't believe that I did this. But it's just frustration. And the further that I went on, you know, like auditioning, feeling good about the auditions, making tapes, feeling great about them and nothing, nothing, nothing, nothing. And this role comes up and I read it and it's like for a 30 year old, blond, buff dude. And I'm like, it's on the other side of town. I'm like, I'm never gonna get this thing. Like, it's just not, you know, I'm too old for it. I'm not the right type for it. It's just not. But I read the material and I really liked the material. I thought it was really funny and it was, I thought, dark, funny, but dark and grounded and real. And it was a guy who was an actor who was kind of down on his luck and nobody really was giving him. It was like exactly what I was going through. And I went in and they were very kind in the room and they had known me from Scandals, so they kind of gave. It was a warm room they gave me, you know, which helps. It's like, everything helps. You can't do it on your own. If you go in a room and they're like, yeah, what do you got? It's hard to be loose. They were very kind, gave me a lot of love and it went really well. Called back for. The producers went in. They were kind. It went really well. I since have found out I ended up getting the job huge in France. And I have since found out from the star that it was based on his. He's a big comedian. Gad Elmille, big comedian in France. He's like the Seinfeld of France. And this character, he said, was based on a character that he has had in his standup routine for like 10 years. And it was like a Brad Pit looking, blonde haired, 30 year old, buff guy. He goes, I. He goes, the guy said, this is the guy. And he's like, I looked at your, at your photo and I said, I don't want this Italian tall guy in the show with me. He's like, I refuse to look at your tape. And they kept saying, this is the guy. He's like, he's not the guy. And they're like, no, he brought something to it that nobody else brought. And he's like, it's not the guy. So they kind of tricked him into reading with me. And they had another guy that was very similar to what was written on the page. And I don't think it. It crackled. And then I went in and he was like, that's the guy. And I ended up getting it. And it was this incredible experience. And I really don't think I would have gotten that role if I hadn't gone through the hell I had been through. Because I think other actors were looking at the material and just going, oh, it's a comedy. And they played it on a certain level and I saw it and I was like, like, it's really funny, but it's also really sad and pathetic. And I saw myself in this, by the way. You know, it was this desperate, it was very exposing. But the way that their tone, it's, I think, hysterical. I mean, I just saw footage, I feel really excited about it coming out. It'll be on Netflix in April and hopefully it connects with an audience again. You never know. But I really feel like that was, it was a great example of like, you need to go sometimes, go through the pain to get to the pleasure. And it was a gift. I just couldn't see it at the time. I was going through it.

Absolutely. And it added that level of depth to really play this character. I'm assuming Huge in France is about a guy who's here. He's like, oh, no, don't worry about it. I'm huge in France. Right?

Totally. It's really funny. Yeah, because he really is like. We shot mostly in la, but the last couple of weeks of August we went to Paris and we shot and he, he is literally mobbed there. It's like you're with.

He's American.

No, he's French.

Okay.

Well, he's actually Moroccan, but he was in Paris for a long time and he like. It's like being with Michael Jordan. You're there and it's like mobs of people taking pictures with him and getting his autograph. And then when we were here, some people. Because he actually has now done the rounds on all the late night shows. And Seinfeld did a couple of guest spots on the series and Seinfeld has kind of taken him under his win. And John Stamos does something and Tyrese Beckford. So there's all these people have come on, but he's not what he is in France yet. And he basically reinvented himself a couple of years ago. He decided when he was at the height of it, he said, I'm gonna move to New York and I wanna see if I can work in English. Which is a really tough. Cause his comedy was all in French and now he has to do it in a language that's not his own. So he kind of went into like basement comedy clubs in New York and worked his way up and now there's this. So he hasn't. It was actually the most watched Netflix comedy series last year, I think was his. It's called American Dreams. God, Almelay. So it's. That was good. I'm hoping that helps the exposure of this as well. But yeah, it's very. I think it's very funny.

That's amazing. And. And I think especially with actors too, it's like you have to go through some shit. Oh. You know, it's like in a. In a certain way, your soul was like, maybe like, I really need a tough experience to prepare me for this role.

Yeah.

And. And then having that and being able to see, like, oh, yeah, I'm huge in France, but, like, it kind of sucks that I'm not huge here. And like, you can totally relate with that. Is what prepared you for this.

Yeah. Yeah. And he's the one who. Who's that? And then I'm here. It's. It's very funny. Yeah. My character, Jason Allen Ross, he's like. He kind of thinks his career is better than it really is. He's really like on the bottom rungs, but he's very. Taking it very serious. And there's something so really, he's so likable. He's not the sharpest knife in the drawer and he's very emotional. So to play it, it was just so much fun to play because I got to do all kinds of crazy things. And, and it was. I haven't done a ton of comedy. I have done comedy, but I've done more drama. So it was interesting to have this, this experience. And yet on this, you know, comedy in quotes, I probably cry more in this than I ever did in any drama. Like, the character's just all over the place. It's a lot of fun. Yeah.

That's so beautiful. So what advice do you have for anyone out there who's listening that maybe wants to get involved into acting or anything that's audition related and you know, maybe of them feels like, oh, I don't have the spirit to hear all these no's so many times. What advice do you have for them?

I would say it comes back to your why. If you want to do it for the right reasons, you will be able to handle all the blows. And that goes for any field, I think, because what I've learned talking to people in all different fields is that everybody has it. If you're human, you're gonna get some swipes at you. And if you have a purpose, I think you can deal with the pain of the moment to get to where it is you're going. And there's not really an easy answer. I don't think, I don't think any of us can bypass that. You know, like maybe somebody bypasses it professionally, but then something in their personal life comes up, or they bypass it financially, but they don't love their job and they feel like they're not. You know, there's always something. And I think if you enter whatever it is that you're looking to enter, if you enter it with open eyes, knowing that's the deal, you know, 10,000 no's. Oh, okay, I'm gonna get 10,000. Well, I've only had 150 so far, so I still have a bunch more to go. Then it's not. Then it's like not as bad. It's still hard. But people have already gone down the path and dealt with it already, so you can too.

I love that so much. And it's so true. If you think about, I have 10,000 no's in my life, so I've only had 150. It's actually not that many. So you can keep going.

Yeah. What's funny, I recently there was an article on the podcast and they misquoted it as they said Del Negro, you know, calculated that he gets 10,000 no's a year. I don't think I get that many nos.

Just all day. No, no, no.

That sounds a little impossible, but yeah, yeah.

And I think, you know, but all of these nos are just redirections towards the yes. So if you stop seeing them as no's and rather see them as like, oh, that wasn't the right path. This wasn't. It's actually protection from the universe to take you to the path that was meant for you.

Yeah. We don't always have the perspective on things that we think we have. And so sometimes I think allowing God or the universe, whatever it is that you believe in, that, that's bigger than you allowing that to kind of you just knowing that you're not fully. You do everything you can do, but then there are a lot of forces helping you and if you can just kind of be okay with letting them help you, that helps you go down the river a little bit.

So where can listeners connect with you, listen to your podcasts and watch the shows that you've been on?

The podcast is called 10,000 no's. It's on itunes and Spotify. It's going to be on Google Play, but it's not yet. The website is 10000no's.com. it's 10000nos.com I'm on all the social media platforms but most active these days on Instagram, which is Attydell M A T T Y D E L Twitter's MatthewDelNegro. Facebook, Matthew Del Negro. Don't go there. I'm terrible with that. And LinkedIn I am now on. But that's again, it's a new venture and then you can just IMDb me and you could see whatever I'm in and a lot of stuff is on Netflix and you know, the, the old shows and you could see my work.

Well, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us.

Ah, wisdom. Thank you. It's nice to be told that I have wisdom.

You do.

Thank you so much. Thank you for having me.

You gotta love Matthew's energy. He is someone who really just tells it as it is, is very authentic. He's not gonna pretend that everything has been perfect and easy when it hasn. And I really appreciate that from him. He's just very grounded and he's gonna tell it to you that life can be hard sometimes and sometimes things don't go your way. But that doesn't mean that you should ever, ever give up on your dreams. So be sure to check out his new Netflix comedy series, huge in France. I'm really excited to check it out and support him. He's doing amazing things in the world and truly is a beautiful soul. So if you love this episode, I would love to share with you the first half of my unreleased book, Eat Right for your Mind Body Type, which is different from my book Eat Feel Fresh. It is my unreleased, never to be released book because it is now part of my Eat Right for your Mind Body Type program. I would love to send it to you absolutely free. All you gotta do is leave me a review in the itunes store, take a screenshot and email it over to me@saharaetfeelfresh.com Again, take a screenshot of the review and email it to me@saharaetfeelfresh.com and I will send you the first half of my unreleased book and eat right for your mind Body type. Namaste.