209: Your Core Desired Feelings with Danielle LaPorte
24 Jul 2019 · 53 min
Danielle LaPorte talks about core desired feelings, the emotional states you want to experience rather than external goals. She explains how aligning your choices with these feelings creates clarity and self-agency, and shares practical approaches to meditation, writing, and planning your life around what you actually want to feel.
Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where discuss what makes.
You your soul's highest evolvement.
So I have a question for you. How do you want to feel? I know it sounds like a really simple question, right?
Like, I want to feel good, I.
Want to feel happy, right? But how do you really want to feel? And if we can feel into that question, then we're going to get clarity on everything in our life. So the person who really has helped ingrain that belief in me is Danielle laporte. If you are not familiar with this incredible powerhouse of a woman, she is the author of the Desire Map and she shares this incredible terminology called your core desired feelings, which helps you tap into how you really want to feel and actually architect your entire life around that. So in this episode, I had the opportunity to sit down with her and talk to her about how we can actually make this work in our everyday lives. I talk about what my core desired feelings are, what to do when you're not sure what to do if they're changing, and how we can actually make this work when we have obligations and busy schedules and responsibilities. How can we keep tapping back into those feelings? And for me, I actually saw Danielle speak years ago. I read her other book, White Hot Truth, which is a phenomenal one, especially if you're in the spiritual community, but a little like burnt out from the spiritual community because she talks about how a lot of times we bypass things, we bypass real emotions, we bypass things that come up to be conscious. And she really hits the nail on the head in that book. And again, it relates back to what your core desired feelings are. Because I think some people, when we really start the spiritual path, we're like, okay, these are the things spiritual people are supposed to do. They're supposed to be meditative and calm and only wear white and quiet and stare into each other's eyes for seven minutes and change their name to Rainbow. And like, these are the things spiritual people are. Therefore I must be like that in order to be spiritual. And it's not the case because first of all, everyone is spiritual. No one is not spiritual because we all have spirits. That's why we're here. But to be a higher consciousness level person, I don't even like to say that it's higher, but a more aware person than you previously were because the only comparison is to yourself is to just tap deeper into your truth. So that's when seeing, well, how do I really want to feel? What makes me feel in my power and sometimes in your life, that's going to change. So in this episode, Danielle talks about how we have some core desired feelings that are lifelong feelings for us and some that change with the season. So for me, at this moment, right now, I'm in between homes. I don't have a place to stay. All my stuff's in storage. I'm almost in this in between period of my life. I just got married. I have a book to write. Like, it's like, ooh, it's a lot. So my core desired feeling of what I want to feel right now is grounded. It's embodied, it's at peace. Whereas when I'm at home and I have, you know, the basic stability, I have my house, I have my routine, then I crave more freedom, more excitement, more uncertainty, because I'm craving the opposite of what I have. So those are the kind of desires that always change, but we also have the words that always stay with us. So for me, one of them is expansive. And expansive is. I always want to feel that way because expansive to me feels like stretching out. It feels like reaching. It feels like stretching like you were just on an airplane for too long. It feels like becoming something greater than you are. And in this episode, Danielle's like, well, what's the opposite feeling of that? And to me, it's contracted, it's stuck. It's the feeling that you've been on an airplane for too long, and that's the opposite. So using that as my roadmap now has been really helpful of, okay, is this situation making me feel more stuck, or is it making me feel more expansive? And you see, the thing is, sometimes the things that make you feel more expansive can be scary. They can trigger your other feelings of you. But you're moving towards expansion because expansion comes through uncertainty. Right now, I'm for sure 100% expanding, but it's kind of uncomfortable because I don't know what's going to happen next, but I'm expanding. So I love working with these feelings, really naming what that feeling is that you want, because then you can always check in with yourself. Am I feeling shakti? Am I feeling at peace? Am I feeling creative? Am I feeling at one, whatever it is that you want to feel? And there are infinite words out there too, and you can make up your own too, but it just allows you to anchor back into your truth. So Danielle is an incredible author, speaker, a woman I dearly look up to, and I am so excited to have her here on the Highest Self podcast. To share her wisdom with you. Without further ado, let's welcome Danielle Laporte. 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Welcome, Danielle, to the Highest Self podcast. It's so great to have you here.
Hi. Hi everybody.
So the first question I would love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?
Yeah, I feel my highest self, my wholest self, my most lit up self when I'm in my heart. And for me, that's all about. I mean, I really have come to know and believe that my genius is in my heart. And that's intuition. That's inclusivity. That's where the feminine loves to hang out. Yeah. And I have my. My ways of getting there, but it's all heart for me now.
So beautiful, and. And you remind me so much. Do you know about the ayurvedic doshas?
Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm a pit of kapha.
Yeah. I could feel the kapha energy in your writing. And that's so heart.
What makes you say, oh, it's the emotion in it.
It's the emotion. So kapha is the earth, and it just has this ability to just hold space, hold space for emotions, for chaos, for whatever it is. And so much of your messaging is just about, you know, being that witness and feeling it all and not judging yourself for it and just the way that you speak. I mean, your voice is, like, musical when you just spe. And that's such a kapha thing. And your mannerisms, it's so soft and loving. And I find a lot of spiritual teachers have that kapha energy because it's so grounded. So your answer is like, exactly. Illustrating the kapha dosha.
Come on.
I love it. Well, you've written so many incredible books, including the Desire Map, which we'll talk about. And many listeners have practiced and, you know, is a staple of their intention, setting, morning routines, New Year's, all of it. So I'd love to know a little bit about your WR process. What does that look like for you?
Well, I don't write every day. I don't journal. I don't journal for myself. Any writing that I do, like, in a notebook are usually notes from therapy sessions. And I feel like I just have to capture those and, like, revisit them or business ideas in terms of, like, the really practical stuff. I voice to text notes in, the notes function on my iPhone, and a lot of my stuff, like, that's the seed of a lot of things. And then I park things in Evernote, and I, you know, and I build on them and build on them. And then I usually write in concentrated blocks. So, like, I haven't been writing for a while, fresh stuff for my website. But this week, I just spent two days. I finished four posts. I outlined about six. And I just go in, like, no distractions, no meetings. One phone call can blow the whole day. And that's. Yeah, I'm a real chunker when it comes to time. And then when it comes to books, I just disappear. So, yeah, I Become really bad at remembering birthdays and I order in a lot and I basically just like, I leave the house for fresh air and yoga and I just come home and I, and I just plow. I'm a plower. And then I'll go weeks, like many weeks without writing anything. With the exception of I love writing on Instagram. I really, that sort of like those nuggets, that bite sized stuff really works for me.
Totally. And yeah, I feel the same way. When you're in that flow, that process, whether it's in a couple hours or weeks or months, it's so much easier to just stay there than change your energy to that external networking, go, going out, making things happen in the world. Energy which just requires such a different part of your brain and your soul.
Yeah, and I'm always, I mean for anybody who's creative and writing stuff, I'm always very clear on, on my what and my why. And that helps me. Like I'm so about word economy. I do not want to waste your time. I do not want to put in any filler. I mean my stuff tends to be like more poetic and feminine and nuanced. But I just want to get my fucking point across. And when I'm really clear, sometimes I'll sit down and write and another nugget, another teaching. I don't think of myself as a teacher, but another teaching will come up and I just set it aside. That's the second post. I just really for me with posts is just make one point at a time. And I've also learned that when I, because I'm so sensitive to quality and not wanting to waste people's time, I don't write really long posts. But sometimes I give myself permission to just go much deeper and to get in more layers and just know like it's what I need to say, it's how I need to express myself. Hopefully it's helpful. And then how we treat those longer version posts, we have a different approach for those on social media. I turn them into like three part series.
So I love that and I think that speaks so much because it's so hard for us to even in social media comprehend one message, let alone if it captions like and this and that and head to my link in bio and go to my blog and this and like so many different things. And people just need it simple and laid out and just as you said, to hit their heart. So I'd love to know, does it kind of come through you in these nuggets or do you edit it to get there.
I don't edit heavily. It comes through in the nuggets. Yeah.
Beautiful. And are you involved in your editing process or are you the kind that's just like you do the editing? I just don't want to see it.
No. Everything I deliver to my team to be posted is complete and finished. Everything is. It's only checked for typos. That's it. There's anything philosophical that comes out. I've written and blessed 100% and there isn't one sentence that comes out in all the stuff we do, promotional, marketing, social, what it says on a button on a website to click. I approve. I either write or I approve everything because it's all I have. I mean, this is my voice, this is my stand, this is my truth. This is it. It's gotta be me.
Absolutely. Yes. And yeah, I think people often expect that, oh writers, at a certain point they must be ghost ridden or. And it's like, well, if you're not actually doing your own writing, then what. What are you doing? You know? So I love that you're really honoring that and, and taking a stand that we should all be involved in using our own voice and our messaging.
Well, and. But some people speak different languages, so my language is words, the written word. Some people, their flow and their genius is more verbal. And if they can just be on camera, be on audio, be doing the podcast and then have all that stuff repurposed, as long as it's their original sentiment, like, I think that's totally cool. Yeah. And also there's a cost to this.
Right?
There's a cost of being so controlling, but it's. I'm happy to pay that price, so.
Yeah, definitely. And it's so worth it. So I'd love to know, when you're going into a book writing process, do you do any rituals or specific practices? Is it first thing in the morning? What does that look like for you or.
Well, I have a regular practice that I do to just to be alive, to have clear intentions. And everything has to come out of that clarity. So, you know, in my mornings, there's a kriya that I do. There's a meditation, there's a prayer practice. I've created this, my own practice called heart centering. And I do one of those things or all of those things, at least five days, if not seven days a week. I eat clean and I do yoga. Those are the basics. Those are primal. There's a reason they've been around for 2,000 years. And everybody's Talking about them. So if you want to be a better writer, if you want to be more lit up, if you want to be of service, you need to have those anchor practices. They're almost non negotiable. You know what's shifted for me over the years is a more loving, fluid, self compassionate approach to those practices. So I'm no longer doing them to be good, to get points from some cosmic committee. I'm doing them because I feel closer to life, because they work. When I get into actual like pedal to the metal mode, like I just, I just. Two weeks ago I was in LA shooting a big video program. And you know, those are mornings where you're up at 7am and the crew is there and there's all sorts of stuff going on. And I had to do something every morning, something just to anchor me in. So it's my breath work. If I didn't have time to. You know, sometimes you're just like, you're tired, you're cold, you ate something shitty the night before. Then it would just be a prayer. Or I just really read like two paragraphs of the course of miracles. I always, if I'm working with a team or if I'm sitting down by myself to write, I always set an intention before we go. And you might, you know, if you're doing something over a period of time, you might just only have that block of time to set that intention. At the beginning of the project, like with the commune team that I've been working with, one commune, we all said a prayer before we went into the studio and we set the intention to be of service, to be clear conduits and to have a good time. I just want to have, you know, at the end of it, like I'm in integrity, I've done my work, I'm here for love. Let's just have a good fucking time while we do this now. Right. So yeah, that's what it looks like.
Oh, totally agree with that. That's why we are here. So that's a perfect segue into manifestation. I'd love to know more about your manifestation techniques. And recently you wrote a post about the common problems with manifestation techniques. So can you explore that for a little bit?
Well, I feel like it's still something that I struggle with. There's still lots that I want in my life that I haven't manifested yet. And when I get into that place, which is really like this self critical place and this place of doubt, then I have to just go into like the medicine of gratitude. It's like, just hold on a second. There's lots of stuff that you have manifested. There's lots of stuff that, you know, like there's a meme going around. It's like, you know, notice all the things that you prayed for. Now that came true. So something like that is much more succinct. So it's like, hey, there's things that I prayed for and I visualized and I felt the sensations and I use the affirmations and I have them now. So there's just other things I just have to continue doing. That practice with how I feel about manifestation now is, you know, what I used to talk about was that I really thought that you needed to feel worthy of what you were asking for in order to manifest it. I no longer believe that. I don't believe for a couple reasons. I've come to a new conclusion. One, I think there are plenty of people out there who are, you know, have serious amounts of self loathing and lack of self love. And they are excellent manifesters because they're focused and they're visualizing and they're believing and they're matching that belief and that intention with action. They're working for it, they're pulling it off. They know the techniques, right. I also think that life, God is merciful. That life is really designed to grant our wishes to fulfill us if we show up and meet it halfway. So those are new layers. My actual manifestation practices now have everything to do with visualizing. That visualizing process has to be sensual. So you've got to see it, you got to smell it. You have to note like what's happening when you're there, what's happening with the earth elements. Like is the sun shining on your face, like really centrally engaged? And you have to feel it in your heart. You need to feel the feelings that you want to feel when you get where it is that you want to go. And I think really that's the difference. And I mean that's really what sort of the climax of desire mapping. And then you have to practice. It has to be steady. It's like that vision is something you have to water on a regular basis. I mean a really esoteric terms, you'd be sitting with that vision 21 minutes at least a day until it happens. You know, even any like a Christian mystical priest will tell you, you keep praying until the prayer is answered. Like you just, you know, you keep. It's not like a vitamin B shot. You stay steady with it and don't change the vision. I think Changing the vision is sort of like messing with your wellness plan. Like, just stick to these supplements and let them work. Just feed this vision and let it work. If you're tweaking it all along, you change the person and you change the amount of money you want and you change the car you're bringing in. No, that's why, like, take some time. Get clear on how you want to feel. What's the vision? That is the expression of that feeling, what I call your core desired feeling. Keep it really simple. Keep it simple. I just come up with vignettes of the vision, right? Like, if you're. If your desire is to win a race, let's say like a physical, you know, an athletic context, you don't envision all the work it takes to get there. In all your training, you envision yourself crossing the finish line. That's it. It's a really simple vignette with all sorts of sensual layers. Feed it every day. See what happens.
I love that. So beautiful. And yeah, I think the biggest problem that I, and many people listening experience is when you're manifesting something, you're changing it because you're like, oh, well, I don't really know if that's what I want in this and that. So how specific are your manifestations? Are you like, okay, I'm looking for this house on this street, like, down to the point, or do you just work more with universe? Give me what you think is best. I'm fully open to receiving that.
I don't feel inclined to do the super specific stuff. I feel like it. I just always feel like I'm going to mess it up somehow. Like, I just, I don't know, I just feel like I'm setting myself up for disappointment and that I want to be open to how things show up. So that's why more of my emphasis is on the feelings, really. For me, it really is about the core desired feelings. It's like, I want to feel graceful. I want to feel turned on. I want to feel this. Okay, and what's the one? Give me one. Well, it's not a give me. It's. I'm going to create one visual scenario that encapsulates all of that. Whether it's like, meet my person or how much I want to earn that year, or my wellness plan, what I, you know, how I want to feel in my body. Just really simple. Yeah. And then, you know, the person is who shows up, who matches that feeling, and it's so much more fluid and I'm so much more Open to life, having an even better plan, better than I imagined. But I get to feel the way I want to feel. Yeah. So, no, I don't envision the house on the street because, you know, I used to. I did try that. It's tried and failed for me. And I just like so much disappointment. It's still the same in business, you know, like we used to set metric. We want to sell this many on by this date, make that money and this be the profit margin. And there just would always be disappointment for me. There's so many goals I didn't hit. And even when I like super exceeded those goals, I would think I should have asked for more. Maybe I could have made even more. I wasn't thinking big enough. Like, it just. All that specificity I felt really was just. Just messing me up.
So.
Yeah. And you know, one of my core desired feelings right now is in the flow. I just really. I think that for me, that specificity with desire was taking me out of the flow. And I wasn't. There were so many layers in that. Like, I wasn't trusting God. I wasn't trusting what life wanted to give me. I think underneath it all, I wasn't really feeling worthy of my desires or things being easy. The less I plan, the better things are. Yeah.
So good. And yeah, I think so many different people manifest in different ways. And I know in human design, oftentimes your design can inform how you best manifest. And some people are naturally more specific manifesters, and some are more just the emotion around it. So I'd love to know. Have you doved into human design at all?
No, I keep hearing about it. I feel like it's on my list of things to research.
Yeah. I'm curious what your human design is because it may tell you that this is exactly how you were meant to manifest.
Well, I can tell you this is how I was meant to manifest so that.
I don't need to affirm it. Exactly. And that's a lot what you talked about in your book White Hot Truth of just owning it yourself and not needing a psychic or a healer or someone else to tell you what is so moving through your veins at this moment. But we're oblivious to it until we pay money and someone else says it for us. So can you tell us a little bit about your journey of just reclaiming your power and your spiritual detox?
A lot of psychics, a lot of astrologers, a lot of energy workers, a lot of workshops, a lot of gurus, a lot of sitting and finally Came to the conclusion and so happy. I did all those things, like zero regrets, all initiations, all great research. Finally realized, wow, this is just another performance mechanism. This is just. I'm just trying to be good. And so much of the self help, not all of it, but a lot of it was coming from a place of self criticism and just trying to be better all the time. And it is fucking exhausting. And I went on, well, yeah, you mentioned the word detox. I just decided, you know, it was gradual, but I definitely. There were some lines in the sand where I was like, okay, I am not going to refer to any psychics. At least not right now. No astrology readings. I'm really okay. Don't need a shaman right now. I'm all right. I might even knock off tarot and any kind of like divination oracle thing. And I still have, you know, I have an advisor. I have like a. A spiritual advisor, energy worker. And there's people I call on. But I'm pretty much going it right now without any outside input. So it's been. You feel like an alcoholic sometimes saying, it's been two years since I've been into a bar. It's been two years since I've had any kind of intuitive external input. Yeah. And I'm thriving. I'm still good. My life did not fall apart. I've signed lots of contracts in the last two years and they're all working out. I'm making some good decisions. Yeah. And I just feel more peaceful. Just. Not to mention I've saved a ton of money. But yeah, just peace. I got more time on my calendar without all the readings.
I think it's really important to talk about that because, I mean, most people are on the spectrum of never having done any of that stuff at all. But there are, there is a subgroup of people that is. Can become almost dependent on it. And sometimes we think we're doing such a good job that makes us more advanced. Like, what an incredible thing to be addicted to you. Right. Spiritual development. But everything can have its, its shadow side.
Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes that lack of self referencing shows up in. I mean, we just care way too much what everybody around us thinks. So maybe, you know, you're not turned into a psychic, but you won't bust a move without input from your mom or your girlfriends. And like, input is one thing and I think so many times it really is our friends who know what's best for us if we would only really listen to them, have deeper levels of intimacy with our friends. But end of the day, your call. And you will keep getting initiated into this. There's no escape from it. Like, you're going to have to disappoint somebody and you're gonna make decisions that you maybe feel guilty for because you're hurting other people. You are gonna let other people down on the way to your fullness. And that's the way it goes.
So true. And, and just to know that those people can only respond from their own human point of reference. And I see so many times, especially, you know, women think it's part of friendship to ask other people's opinion about every decision that they make. And sometimes that friend may feel left out that you didn't consult with them about it, but it's just creating this, like, friendship codependency and not serving neither.
Yep, you got it.
Yes.
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So one incredible tool that you've created and made available for so many people is the desire map and having people check in with their core desired feelings. And you have this incredible new online course about it. So for people who are not familiar with the desire map at all, can you share a little bit about what that is?
Yeah, I love, love, love it. You know, it's been out for five, six years now and I feel like I finally just got what it is. And part of that is because like over 200,000 people now have been through the desire map process and we get it like, wow, this, it works. The idea is that, that we're turning our ambition inside out. So most of us come up with goals and bucket lists and to dos. And it's very externally driven. This is what I want. But we are not really making the connection to why we want it. We just assume it's going to feel good when we get it, if we get it. We hope we're going to feel good when, if and when we get it. The theory is that everything you're doing, you're doing because you want to feel a certain way. The stuff you eat, the clothes you buy, the people you hang out with, the significant other you choose, the job, all of it is because you're going for a feeling. So why don't you get clear, why don't you get conscious about what I call your core desired feelings and then everything is in service to that. And so, you know, really, really what it's about is about returning to your heart, which is where all feeling resides, and then engaging your self agency. Like, I can die happy if I can get a few more people, ideally a few million people, to just realize. You get to choose how you feel and move out of. I don't love this phrase, but it just, it does kind of say it. Move out of victim mentality into total self agency. You have the power no matter what's going on, the breakup, the job, the weight, whatever. You can choose gratitude, you can choose resiliency. You can find the grace in the shit. You do that on a daily basis, you create more opportunities to feel that way. So I mean, you know, we were talking about manifestation earlier. Manifestation, the seed of it happens in the heart and it's the mind that executes it. I think, you know, everybody who's listening to this is probably down with the idea that your thoughts are going to have a huge contribution to creating your reality. Everybody knows about thinking positive. I have a whole theory on positive thinking, but. And how it can actually lead us astray.
However, let us know that after.
Okay.
Choose the thoughts that are going to get you back to feeling the way you want to feel. That's what desire Map is about. And yeah, you come up with your four, your five core desired feelings. More than that, I think it's too much for the brain to hold. And you make choices every day. Like, you know, right now, the core desired feelings I'm working with are sacred, feminine. Embracing is another one in the flow and a couple others. And so when I plan my week, you know, I have a whole day planning system that it's built around this. When I plan my week, the question is, what am I going to do to feel this way? And my daily mantra are those words. I bring those words into my heart. I meditate on those words. I ask those core desired feelings if they have a message for me that day, if there's something I should do that day, if there's a symbol that day. That's meditation. That's a manifestation practice. Yeah.
That is so beautiful. And I love how much you work with the words in your meditation in other ways too. And I think a lot of us, sometimes we come up with, oh, I want to, you know, be more free. But we're not actually taking action on how to implement that. So what does that look like, the action steps you take to have more of those desired feelings in your life?
Well, sometimes it just stays on the mental realm, right? It's like, okay, I'm, you know, one. One layer to Desire mapping is gratitude. It's gratitude's medicine. There's a reason why everybody in the personal development space is on about it works. It changes your brain chemistry. This is scientifically proven. Thoughts of appreciation change how you think you change how you think you make different choices. So gratitude is a daily practice. Self affirmation and encouragement is also part of the practice. So it's like you're using your own capacity to encourage yourself. You choose beliefs that make you feel better, anything you want. It's like, I'm loved, I'm a child of God, my friends have got me. I've gotten through stuff before. The sun rose yesterday is gonna rise tomorrow. Like whatever it is that just calms your nervous system. Another layer of it is, I'm a big fan of stop doing lists. And every week or every day if you want, you get really clear on what's not working. This is one of the, you know, I think the shortcomings of the new age sometimes is we don't face and confront the things that are so called negative. We spiritually bypass them. We try and you know, this is my point about where positive thinking leads us astray. You have to feel it to heal it. You gotta get real about what's causing you pain and suffering. Now first of all that pain and suffering is trying to get your attention just needs to be acknowledged, not ignored. And when you give it attention, then you can make choices that heal it. So yeah, we work a lot with breath too. So you know, breathing cleanses the mind. It brings you back into your body and it brings you back into your heart. So specifically if you, it's about heart centered breathing, it's not fill your belly and let it fill. You know, if you, it's knowing. You focus on your heart and you bring that prana, you bring that life force back to your heart center physically. Your heart chakra, your fourth chakra is the center of your whole physical being. You know, you've got a number of energy centers that are above your head. Your heart is really, it's the lever of everything. Focus there. That's where the genius is so beautiful.
And it's absolutely true that all of us, if we can just connect to our hearts, it's going to give us that subtlety. And how often are you changing your core desired feelings?
Well, it varies. I desire map twice a year. I desire map in the spring for my birthday and I desire map in September because I want to get a head start on the new year. And I have some core desire feelings that stay with me all the time. Like, I've had them for a couple years, but, you know, I think if you're changing them more than every six months, you're not really giving them a chance to, you know, bake into your system and really have an effect on your psyche. So, yeah, for me, it's. I revisit them every six months.
I love them and I absolutely love the book. So mine are expansive and I feel like that's always kind of been mine. Just the feeling of like a backbend and your heart being open or stretching your arms out. Like the opposite of the feeling of being in an airplane for too long, you know, that's like, that's what I want.
That's a great application of it because I got to tell that story because it's so great when you get clear on a core desired feeling to kind of know, like, just have a little nugget visual of what it is, what's the expression of it. So, like for you, it's the back bend, the heart opener. And what's the opposite? Like, what's the. You just like, do not want to go there, which is like, you know, dirty, pent up feeling of being on a plane for too long. Yeah, that's great. I love it. Expansive. Okay, what else have we got?
Shakti.
Yeah, Shakti.
So love the feminine, but the Shakti has really been coming through because I. I find it a little bit like that juicy, feminine, that, that belly dance, that, that kind of vibe flow just to, you know, let the creativity come as it does and never force it. And fun, fun was never one of mine before, but I've made it one for 2019 because I've always expected fun, as does just, you know, something that happens along the way, not something you plan for. But now I'm planning for fun. Like, I am looking actively for fun. Concerts, ecstatic dances, just bringing friends together to laugh. Because I realized if, you know, as adults, it's so hard to fit that into our schedules if we don't, you know, try to create the container for it.
Those are great. I mean, they're all anybody's core desired feelings are great. But yeah, yeah, that's inspiring.
Yeah. Do you find that people's. Because I feel like mine are kind of connected. Do you find that they're sort of like on that one wavelength often?
Well, it's more that I see patterns. Like, I think I just wrote about this in the new. I talk about it in the video program. Is that after all this time, I think there's really about six or seven types of core desired feelings. Like there's always something. Well, for a lot of people, not everybody, that has to do with courage or bravery or expansion. There's that. There's usually something that has to do with femininity, sexuality, softness, shakti. You know, there's often something to do with light. I want to feel lighter, I want to feel luminous, I want to feel illuminated, I want to feel in the inspired. And then I think there's like another cluster of something around inspiration and creativity and self expression. And then I think there's something around beauty and elegance and. Yeah, yeah, I love it.
And do you find that most women put something related to femininity on theirs?
No, but I think, I mean this is just like a bigger paradigm, right. I mean I think think it's all feminine. So like if you want to be in the flow, that is a principle of the divine feminine energy. Right. That is life force. That is something that's generative. Just the feminine is always flowing. Doesn't. I mean we all know it's not a gender specific thing. Yeah, I think it shows up. It shows up in one way or another for sure.
And even, you know, the courage and the strength is another spectrum of the feminine too.
Or the masculine. I mean it depend. It depends. Right? Like yeah, some of us just need that. We want direction, we want laser, we want bravery, we want structure, we want. Yeah, that's another side.
So tell us a little bit about planning your days with these core desired feelings. And what does that look like?
Well, honestly, I don't so much plan my day with it. Like I plan my week and then I kind of let it go. For me it's like bird's eye view, it's daily meditation. So it's just seeping into my psyche and I know it influences my choices and then it's big choices. Like, you know, the day to day stuff can be. I want to be in the flow. I got to make sure I'm going to get to yoga this week. And then so practically what I do is I will schedule my yoga, like there's a 4 o' clock class here, et cetera, et cetera. So there is something really practical and granular about it.
It.
But where I really experience it is in my big decisions, you know, like I'm about to back away from a deal. Because I'm really clear this is not aligned with my core desired feelings. This is, this relationship is not helping me feel the way I want to feel. It's not embracing I do not feel in the flow this has been so protracted and difficult. I'm.
Yeah, I love that. And often, you know, we're all faced with these opportunities that present themselves that sound really good. Looks like quote unquote progress, but it's not aligned with how we want to feel. And it takes a massive amount of both courage and self awareness to make that decision.
Yeah, exactly.
Well, thank you for providing tools for us to be able to access that inside of ourselves. So can you tell us a little bit more about your upcoming online desire map course?
Well, I produced it with Commune, so it's. It lives in two places. It'll live on my site, danielleport.com and one commune, O N E Commune. And basically what I've done is I've taken the book and the years of all the people who have done it. I built in a bunch of new practices, the heart centering practice, a lot of which I just described. And you get this gorgeous printed workbook because for me things have to be sensual. You need a hard copy of something to write in to fully experience it. And then I wrote basically another book to go with it. So there's like 20 practices from how to reframe negative situations into gratitude situations. A word blessing where you work with your core desired feelings. I give you a meditation to power up those feelings, like to essentially almost like create your own mantra. It's like, like you imbibe, you energize those feelings. I walk you through this whole kind of visualization so that when you call on them, they have some energy. It's like, it's kind of like writing your own prayer for yourself. Yeah. And lots of other beautiful things. Yeah, that's it.
That's so beautiful. I absolutely love that. And I love how you're just encouraging us to be more involved in our spiritual practices. I think a lot of us are, you know, we hear, oh well, this mantra worked for someone else. Or this is the prayer that we, that this community says and we just, you know, take it as our own. But there's something so beautiful and powerful and you know, personal of being able to make it catered to what you need at this moment.
That's a great noticing. Yeah, it's great to hear that. Thank you. Because I really think while this gets back to what you were saying about the point about being your own guru and then me bringing in self agency, you really do have the power to bless your life and to energize things yourself and to bless other people. And so many of us are coming to, will come to the realization, like, everything's energy, everything really is vibration and frequency. So why don't we use it? Why don't we really, with intention, choose our thoughts, create, you know, to generate the feelings to be in our preferred states of being. Yeah. Like when you pray, really pray. When you wish, really wish. When you tell someone, I hope you're well. When you, you know, like, this is one of my, one of the noticings I had for myself. You know, we all have experiences throughout the week when someone tells us they're suffering. Like, you know, you're somebody, you not love is dying or you didn't get the gig or you. Whatever it is, it's the challenges of life, you know, and we just sign off and we say, oh, sending love, sending light. And my question, my question of accountability to everybody right now is, are you really? Because, like, I noticed so many times with myself, it. I was like, it was a lot of lip service. Wait, do it, you know, back up your love with intention. Just take 30 seconds, take 4 minutes and close your eyes. Bring that person into your vision and send them light from your heart. Really love on them, and then back it up, Write the note, text them the next day. Just be, be the loving person that you say you are. Yeah.
Such beautiful advice. And I think sometimes the reason why we do the sending love is because we are so afraid of taking that energy on and, and it just creates this, like, almost barrier of, oh, that's your problem. Good luck. But I think really just giving what you just mentioned, that practice of sending them love. I just, Mini did that for a second to my grandmother. And it makes you feel better too. You know, blessing others is blessing yourself.
That's another great point is, you know, what you're saying about people taking it on. I think part of it is because it's almost like we don't want to be infected by that pain.
Yes.
Part of it is we don't want to look at our own suffering. And you know what? You can't go wrong by being in someone's pain with them. You can't go wrong. Like, look, yes, you need to have boundaries. Yes, you need to cut some energy cords. You know, every day, every day I cut cords, I ask that all energy return to its source. You take responsibility for your stuff. Because I believe in your, your power. I'm going to take responsibility for my stuff. I believe in my power to heal. If I can't feel your suffering, I'm not going to feel my suffering. I'm not Going to feel my joy. And, you know, somebody asked me last week what I think the big problem is in the world right now in society is like a big question. And I think it's loneliness. I think we are all aching for connection. I think it's a big existential thing. I think we all want to get home. Whether it's. It's, you know, to put this in the crassus way, like, you know, some teachers of, you know, extreme relationship will tell you, like, you know, the masculine just wants to crawl back in the pussy and get back into the mother's womb. It's like, you know, that's one way of putting it. I think it's kind of true. It's like, I think all beings just want to get back to God. They want to get back to love. But here we are just, like, avoiding each other, avoiding our own suffering and avoiding each other. So. So, yeah, get in there. Get in. Get into the pain. Send love.
So beautifully said. Well, thank you so much for sharing your incredible words, wisdom, and just resonance with all of us. We really appreciate it. And I'm so excited for so many listeners right now to begin their desire map journey. It's something I've been doing for a number of years and has changed my life. So where can listeners connect with you, find you on Instagram, find your books and your course?
Well, first of all, thanks for the great question and for really listening. That's so cool. In an interview. And I'm everywhere. Just Danielle laporte. The center of my universe really is Instagram. And, yeah, all the cool stuff. The other cool stuff's happening@DaniellePorte.com. thanks for asking.
Well, thank you so much again and looking forward to seeing you again soon.
Thanks.
Oh, my God.
For real?
I was fangirling the whole episode because I love Daniel laporte so much. She reminds me of myself or, you know, my highest self and the way that she's just so real, but also channeling. I went to one of her workshops, and she was just. It was a Q and A the whole time.
She just showed up.
She's like, what questions do you guys have? And she was just giving the answer that was coming through her. And I'm like, that's how I want to give my talks in the future. I just want to show up and see what comes through. So she's amazing. Please check out her desire map, her core desired feelings, all of the incredible work she does. Hit her up on Instagram, tell her you heard of her on this podcast and send her. So much love. If you loved this episode, I would love if you could leave me a review in the iTunes store and as a free gift I will share with you the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your mind body type. Simply email a screenshot of your review over to SaharaAtFieldFresh.com again Sahara S A H A R AatFeelFresh.com and I will send you over the first half of my unreleased video book Eat Right for your mind body type. Thank you and namaste.
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