234: Sex, Doshas + Embodiment with Malaika Darville

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. I just came back from an incredible four day long conference called Attune, which I had the pleasure of emceeing. It was an incredible spiritual based conference that took place in Atlanta. So it was really the first major spiritual conference to be in the South. And it was so incredible to connect with so many of you guys, so many Rose gold goddesses who live in the south, who live in states where this type of conversation is not really the norm. And to see you creating yoga studios and ayurvedic restaurants, and teaching meditation and teaching your children about these topics in an area where a lot of this stuff is shamed and criticized meant so much to me and so deeply inspired me. Because when this movement can penetrate the parts of this country where there is less of this dialogue, we've really created the paradigm shift. So you guys out there who live in states where the church is very dominant, where people might say that you are satanic because you practice yoga, or that you don't believe in Jesus if you believe in the goddesses, I met so many people who are coming across this type of criticism, and the fact that you're able to overcome it while still remaining compassionate, dedicated, and understanding where these people come from just speaks volumes of who you are. So thank you for shining your light and bringing consciousness to the places in the world that so deeply need it. And together we will truly rise. So I had the pleasure of offering my discover your Dharma workshop, which is the workshop that I teach, live in person, to help people really discover their soul's purpose and why they're here. And not only to discover it, but how to actually do it. Because it's one thing to kind of have an idea of what you think you want to do, and it's a totally other thing to embody it and to see whether this is right for you and to grow it. So in this workshop, I help you essentially download these ideas from higher source consciousness and then take the action to get it done. So it was such an honor to be able to share that wisdom with you. And I've been teaching discover your dharma in many different states. States. So hit me up on Instagram with where you live, and I'd love to share with you guys as well. I was also on an incredible panel about female sexuality, which is a topic that I'm super passionate about and sometimes don't get to speak about as much, because so much of my work is related to Dharma and Ayurveda, but it's all interconnected. And I actually have a program on this topic called the Sex Money Magic program, which is all about using your sacral chakra energy, that second chakra which is in charge of creating creativity, abundance and pleasure. Yes, creativity, abundance and pleasure are interconnected. And when you are feeling good in your body and when you are allowing yourself to receive pleasure, that is actually how you magnetize abundance. That's how you step up into your worth, and that's actually how you really step into your most creative ideas. So I have a program on this for those of you who are not at the panel or for those of you who really just want to dive deeper into it, which is available at sex money magic program.com it is co taught with a dear friend of mine, Alexandra Roxo, who is an embodiment coach. I teach a lot more about the tantric principles of using your orgasm for manifestation and moving orgasmic energy up your chakras to heal different blocks and overcoming, you know, sexual shame and trauma. I came from a background of child marriage. You know, even my grandma, who's still alive, was married when she was 14 years old. My other grandma is 11 years old. And this trauma of a child literally being forced to marry someone much older than them, someone who may have already had wives before, is something that can really get encoded into your DNA. Now we're learning with epigenetics that trauma is passed on throughout generation to generation until we become cognizant of it and do the work. So this lifetime has really been, for me, doing that work, re clearing my sensual and sexual blocks and claiming that power within. And for a lot of us, whether we have experienced sexual trauma, assault, rape, violence in this lifetime, maybe our parents, maybe our ancestors, maybe our ancestors were slaves. A lot of sexual assault happened there. Maybe they were never taught to be connected to their sexuality. Maybe they were taught their sexuality is shameful. Maybe you've been taught that it's really important for us to clear these blocks to do this work, otherwise we're going to actually be subconsciously carrying it into all of our relationships. So we're going to keep coming across these same blocks of, you know, why aren't I interested in sex? Why can't I orgasm? Why aren't I attracted to my partner? Why do I feel like I want to be left alone? Like all of these different things are actually just those subconscious blocks that are peeking up and not until you look at them Will they disappear? So we have to go in, talk about what's our sexual history, what are the beliefs we've held on to, and then where are we storing trauma in our body? And then from there, we can have fun with it. We can move that sexual energy up our bodies. We can use it for manifestation, we can use it for ritual, and we can reclaim that our sexuality is sacred because, you know, there has never been a separation until the patriarchal era between sacredness and sexuality. When we worshiped the womb, worshiped the yoni, worshiped this portal of, you know, feminine wisdom that moved through us. We were able to come into balance because the men were able to see that the woman carried so much wisdom, and the woman were able to honor the men for also the protection that they provided. And we were able to come into balance. So reclaiming your sexuality is not about being inferior or superior. It's actually about coming back into balance with the feminine and the masculine in totality, with the doshas inside of us, and using that energy to create magic, to create love, to create alchemy, to create books, novels, music, art, bliss. These are all things we can create with our sexuality. So I will do another podcast all about this topic, but because Malaika speaks a lot about this and this episode, we're also going to be diving into sexuality. Because it's a lot of what Malaika works with, I wanted to just give you a little recap of what I've been up to and then offer you my Sex Money Magic program. If you want to dive deeper into this work. It's a five week program. You could start it at any time, do it at your time. There's incredible meditations, it's all virtual. So head over to sex money magicprogram.com for that. So Malaika Darvill, she's been on this podcast. You know, I've had her on twice, but those episodes have turned into two episodes. So really she's already had four episodes on here. Because when I speak with her, we go so deep. She is my shamanic teacher. I studied with her when I was 23 years old and moved to Bali. Did not know my path, did not know really any of the spiritual stuff. Like I felt it, but I didn't know about it. I hadn't fully stepped into it, I hadn't embodied it. So I really met her when I was on this journey of reclaiming my sovereignty and reclaiming who I was. And I began going to her different Five Elements dance classes, her African dance classes, her cacao ceremonies. I Knew I had to study with her and she had a facilitator training. I had no money and I was like, what can I do? Can I like work for you to, you know, get some sort of discount? So I did and I was like her apprentice, going around like putting her flyers up and just helping her with whatever I could. And now flash forward almost six years later. I recently taught an incredible workshop with her, my Goddess Dance activation with her 5 elements dance activation that we had here in LA. We had the rose gold goddesses come out. Hundred of you guys just dancing and sweating and connecting and breathing and flowing. And I have an AW video of this on my Instagram. So head over to my Instagram am sahararose. Just scroll down a little bit, you'll see it says what happens when spiritual sisters get together. That's the name of the video and it's on my IG tv, I think. And you'll be able to see really what it looks like. It's also on my YouTube channel, YouTube.comsahararose but she's taught me so much and really she's taught me the way of the feminine, which is something that I deeply needed. At that time, my spiritual practice was very yogic. I was an Ashtanga yogi. I was disciplined. I was practice. I would do my three hour day Mysore style practice, read my spiritual text fast, like totally in it. But I was missing that feminine, I was missing that juiciness, I was missing that flow. And it was something that I loved as a kid, you know, dancing. But it was something that I later thought was, you know, wrong. Like, oh, you're either spiritual or you're slutty. Like those are the two options that they give women. Like you're whole or you're a whore. And it actually goes back to the Madonna whore complex where we put women into the Madonna, the angel who cannot be fucked and then the whore who is dirty and cannot be loved. And it's coming back into why. Why are you putting us into two categories? We can be loved and fucked. We are all. And that's so much of what we talk about in this podcast. We talk a lot about embodiment. We talk about knowing your dharma, your purpose. We talk about her, her background. We just really go in. It's like a conversation. She was here with me in person right after we taught our, our collaborative workshop. So we talk about her background with her partner. We talk about sex and the doshas, which was really funny because it's something I've thought about before but never Got to have a conversation which did inspire me to do a whole episode on sex and the doshas. And that's at the end of the episode, so be sure to tune in until then. Like, this episode is just like, you're gonna feel like you're sitting next to us and just hanging, because that's essentially what it is. There's no objective. It's the way of the feminine. It's just flowing. It's chann. It's letting the wisdom come through. And what I love about learning from Malaika is it's grandmother wisdom. You know, she's a grandmother, and we don't learn that much from the older generation in our society. A lot of it is because the older generation doesn't really like. Oftentimes our parents or our personal grandparents don't have this kind of wisdom. We are often the ones teaching it to them. I know in my personal family, that has been the case. So it's very hard for us to find the grandmothers who are, like, teaching us about sexuality and yoni wisdom and embodiment and goddess worship because our own families have been strayed away from their own ancestral knowledge. So it is so powerful to be able to learn from the grandmothers and to carry on this tradition. So you're going to feel like you're sitting with your grandmother, your spiritual grandmother in this conversation, and I'm so excited to share it with you. So further ado, let's welcome Malaika Darvill to the Highest Self Podcast. And before we get started, check out these brands that make Highest Self podcast possible. Okay, Real Talk, the product I'm about to tell you about is literally the best thing I've ever put into my mouth, and that is saying a lot. And this is Organifi's Gold. 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Uvada is a modernized ayurvedic supplement company that takes certain issues that we have, such as mood joints, immunity, digestion, and creates these custom little packets exactly for us, infusing ancient ayurvedic herbs with modern vitamins and minerals. I take the mood formula daily. It is great if you work a stressful job, had adrenal fatigue, ever suffer from anxiety or even depression, and it really heals you from a fundamental and holistic level. So if you want to try it out, head over to UVA. Y o u v d a.com use the code Sahara and you'll receive 35% off your first order. And they now ship to almost every country globally. So check it out. If you live internationally, they may be shipping to your country too. And they just added India. Guys. Welcome, Malika, to the Highest Health podcast. It's so good to have you back.

Yeah, my goodness me, it's so good to be here and to be in LA and your beautiful home and wow, what a journey. We've done a workshop together and yes.

Oh, gosh, it's just been so amazing. Just so many up levelings and so many ways and to just be able to do that workshop with you. So we just did a workshop last week that was Goddess dance activation with five elements dance. We had like 80 people in LA come and it was just such a beautiful experience. But what was most incredible for me was to be able to teach alongside my teacher. It was just such an incredible experience because I remember just five years ago, I so needed the work myself. Like, even when we did the introductions, I just started to cry that first time at your facilitator training and just to see how much it actually works, how much one person can change in this lifetime. And it doesn't have to take a lifetime of healing. You can just change your mindset and everything shifts in such exponential speed that you find yourself like a totally different person. I feel like no cell of me is even that same person as it was five years ago, except for the same desire, but it was just like coated in so much fear.

Yeah. I'm extremely proud of, you know, like, seeing you and seeing where you. Where you've come from and to follow your dreams and we Were just having a little conversation about parenting and families and, you know, how we have to bust through that conditioning. And I think everybody has to do that. If you want to follow your dream, you have to really be able to, first of all, know what that dream is. And sometimes when we're young, like really young children, they actually know more what they want to be and who they are than we do when we're gone through a whole school system that conditions us to think otherwise and believe otherwise and coats us in so much fear that, you know, the. You can't. And I think we're coming into a new time now where there's a lot of positivity and a lot of new paradigm shifts that are happening to give people the inspiration that you can follow your dreams. And there's so many things online now to help people and support people to get to that state where you can follow your dreams. But nonetheless, there's still this work that is just part of the human conditioning of deconditioning ourselves from society, from our parents, you know?

Absolutely. And I think what I love about your work is that it really all starts in the body. And you're not going to be able to actualize your dharma when you're holding onto that trauma and that tension and that fear physically, because it's gonna show up in your life physically, emotionally, spiritually, in all areas.

Yeah, it's like the traumas gets held in the tissues, not in the event. And what happens is the mind, you know, because we. We are a mammal just the same as all the other animals on the planet. And if you see a traumatized animal, I mean, it's. It's like you have to heal the body so that the animal can come back to health again. So it's the same for human beings. We have to heal the body and work with the mind to bring the mind back into the present moment. Because the traumas, you know, we can loop and loop and loop in the mind of the events that happened and never get to that place of radical forgiveness of what happened in the past. And that was shifting our perspective to say that whatever did happen in the past was absolutely perfect. Because if we appreciate where we are in the present, it's like we wouldn't be where we are in the present if anything had been any different in the past. And if we don't, if we're not where we want to be in the present, then we can find that place inside of ourselves using the consciousness of the mind that we can shift that through creating, you know, we are creators. We create with our mind, with our thoughts. And so making this correlation between the mind and the body spirit relationship, healing the body using the mind, focusing the mind, the body, the spirit, so that we can actually create what we want to create. And we're not looping in these traumas that are so prevalent now in our human society. You know, like if you look at the earth, I was talking to my, my grandson this morning, just telling him, talking about some stories of Siddhartha and the Buddha and how, you know, he was sheltered from all suffering in his castle. And then when he came out and saw suffering, it was like, oh, my God, how I can't sit there in that castle anymore. I have to do something about the suffering of the world. And, you know, went on his spiritual journey, which took him to all the teachings, the Buddhist teachings around, you know, that this earth is suffering when we are giving in to our cravings and our desires. And we were talking about addiction and, you know, because when he craves, like, wanting to use the screen time, I was trying to teach him these words. You know, he's just turning 6. So it was, it was quite fascinating to see him like, grasping these concepts. And I said, you know, and he's like, well, what does the word craving mean? And I'm like, craving is when you're having a desire for something, you know, and he goes like when my mom takes away the phone and says, I've had enough screen time. And then I go crazy. And I, you know, and his whole body and everything. And I said, yep, that's, you know, or when you want sugar or, you know, we're explaining like all these things. And so the Buddha talks about these things of like, the cravings, you know, all suffering is we're either running towards something or running away from something. And when we actually face it head on and stay in it, then that's when we can actually be present with the body and be present with the present moment. So we were talking about family and, you know, the trig that we get from our family and everything. And I've just recently been home to my parents who are now, you know, much older.

And can you tell us a little bit about your childhood and the traumas you faced?

Yeah, well, so I, you know, I had a great family that were doing their best and everything else, but my mom's father was an alcoholic. And so I think that that anger came through her even though she wasn't an alcoholic. It was like. But that anger, sometimes that explosive anger for like, you hadn't made your bed or something. And suddenly there was just like. So there was a lot of constant fear of this anger. And there was four of us, and I'm the youngest, so, you know, screaming at the older ones, but just being in that vibration, there was a lot of tension and a lot of fear. And then they left home early. And so I was just kind of like doing my thing. And then when we went away to Australia for one year, when we came back to Canada, and suddenly I was the only one in the house and I was just doing what I'd always been doing and I thought they knew what I was doing. But then suddenly, when there wasn't the other three children to focus on, it was like, what the heck? So there was all this targeted attention and that year was just.

What were you doing that they didn't.

Like, oh, you know, just like going out with your friends or, you know, I had boyfriends or whatever, like being late or going out dancing. I always loved dancing still, even back then, you know, I was 16 and still wanting to go out dancing and, you know, but it was like that fear from them of what are you doing? You know, like. And also I had a very strong attraction to black men. And my, you know, my mother being Jamaican, there was like this whole fear that it took me years to understand, like what that fear, where that fear was coming from of me, you know, ending up with a Jamaican man or whatever, you know. But she didn't communicate in a very. Was nothing was explained. It was just a big lot of projections. And so there was a lot of fear and fighting and, you know, trauma going on in that way and, you know, and just recently going back and just again, little things that just trigger the explosion. And I took a moment, luckily there was enough self awareness to stand there and not take the bait, not engage with whatever was happening from her end, but to feel what was happening inside my body. That's why I really encourage people and part of my work is helping people to develop that felt sense of, you know, because sensation is constantly changing in the body. So we can like observe a sensation. Like when someone's screaming at you, it's like the solar plexus feels tight, maybe feel butterflies in the stomach, maybe feel like throwing up or all these kind of bodily sensations rather than placing the. I feel angry too, or I feel upset or I feel emotional. And then you're engaged into their emotional field. Whereas it's just like, whoa, this is what's happening to my body right now. My body is tensing up, my solar plexus is tensing up, my, my whole being is feeling tight. And you know, so then bringing that awareness in it means that you can then take yourself into another space, which is what I did, where I can sit down and meditate or lay down, put my hands on my own body, calm my own nervous system down, tell myself that I'm safe. Nothing's going to happen like it did when you're 3 years old or 5 years old or 7 years old and we still have that little person inside of us. And remind myself that I am safe, I'm the one who protects myself now and that that's not gonna happen and I don't need to engage. And then also making those choices of like. And it's okay for me to take space, you know. And I think in all relationships that's a really, really healthy way of being, you know, rather than this like engaging with, you know. Cause we create these patterns and dynamics and it's so obvious in families and you know, raising children and it's a lot to deal with. But it's, we can bring this back into like by taking self responsibility and by removing ourselves from harm's way or from a negative projection that's coming at us. We don't need to like sit there and engage in it. We can just simply remove ourselves from that situation. And quite often when we're heated like that, when the body is going through all these sensations, you know, we have the fight or flight mechanism has been triggered. So we either want to fight, you know, for our life or we want to run away, like you know, collapse and run away or we want to freeze and go into numbness. And so catching ourselves with any of those things and then when we can bring them back. Like I studied a little bit of the non violent communication and so nonviolent communication is like when you express what's going on from your bodily sense, what can the other person say? And you're not making them wrong, you're just saying right now I'm feeling really tight in my solar plexus. Plexus or right now I'm feeling like all this heat inside my head. And so I'm choosing to remove myself from this situation right now until I can feel like a calmer sensation inside my body and then we can communicate, you know.

Yeah. I think what's hard for people is to know when do I express my truth and stay with that pain and that sensation versus when do I take myself out of the situation. And it's like I Feel like at a certain time you need to have that conversation and through the tears and the anger and all of it, just say your truth. But then sometimes we keep re explaining ourselves over and over and over again. And it's like, once you've said it, it's done. And now you have to respect yourself enough to walk away. If that person's not changing now, that's up to you.

Yeah. Yeah. And that's the thing too, is realizing, you know, we can never, ever, ever change our exterior environments. You know, we can never change anybody else. And, you know, as many human beings as there are on the planet right now, we're what, like 7.7 billion people? Well, there's 7.7 billion points of view of opinions. And, you know, everyone's perceiving the world through their lens. And so to remember that, you know, because quite often in relationship, we always want the other person to get us and to get our point of view and, you know, can end in these struggles where we.

Especially with parents.

Yeah, and with parents, too, we want them to, you know, change. Well, come on, now you gotta be vegetarian, because that's gonna be healthy for you. And, you know, so you're doing the same thing as what they did to us, you know, when we're saying, okay, you know, whereas if we can just like, have that perspective of just going, okay, that's their choice. That's where they're at. And acceptance, you know, just accept other people and then bring all the change. Because the only thing that we ever can change is our own response to life. And so how do we react? How do we respond? How are we going to be in each situation? That's the only thing that we can deal with is changing ourselves. And so finding the things that, like, anytime we see something outside of ourselves that we don't like, you know, and another person, maybe you have a friend, and every time you're with that friend, you feel triggered or whatever. It's like, well, turn it around and look at that person and see that person as yourself. And there's usually a shadow aspect of yourself that you don't like that you haven't been honest with. And then when it's being reflected to you, it's like, oh, I hate that aspect. And it really bugs me. And, you know, or whatever, it really triggers me. And, you know, we project it all on the other person. But actually, when we can own it and just say, okay, that's because this person is reflecting an aspect of myself that I hate of myself that I haven't owned yet. So then the work is, how do I love those aspects of myself? Because it's not about being right or wrong. It's about cultivating a culture of self love and cultivating practices of self love. And when that's in place, it's like you tend to not get triggered as much because, you know, it's like whatever that's happening outside there, there's not really much I can do about that. And then at the same time, acknowledging that we're all human beings, I have wounds and they get triggered and they need to be nurtured. And that's okay, you know, that we're not the Buddha yet, you know, or we are. And in that, you know, there's just the self nurturing that needs peace, that needs to come in.

Yeah. So there's two things I really want to talk about with you on this topic. One is when do you know when like that toxic family member to walk away from? Because I think we all have an energy vampire in our life, but a lot of times it's your own parent or a sibling, and it's like, what are you gonna do? Just never talk to them again? That would really hurt you. That was what my situation was too. It's like, what am I gonna do? Never talk to my parents again? That's gonna make me feel really sad. But every interaction I had with them would take me to such a dark, low place that it would set me back like 10 steps. So how do you know when to separate yourself and when to just. Just try to be around them but not be triggered?

Well, you know, I can only just talk from my. My perspective. Like when I chose to leave home very early, early on in life as well, because it was a toxic situation. And, you know, I'd even been to see a psychologist and therapist and everything because my mom was reading my diary and, you know, just all that kind of same. Yeah. And it was. And he actually, you know, she said, you need to go see a psychological psychiatrist or you can't stay.

I know I needed to go to a mental asylum.

Mine was either, you know, the mental asylum or you see this, this psychiatrist. And I thought, okay, fine, I'll go see the psych. And can you imagine at that young age, you know, walking into a psychiatrist's office where you've written everything about your, like, little love affairs or where you're falling in love with some boy that in school and, you know, all that kind of stuff.

It's such an invasion of privacy, like.

On the desk of Some strange man that you're then, you know, is going to add, who's Jamal? Yeah. No, he actually said to me, you know what? Because he had to read it, right? Because my mom gave it to. Yeah, she said, you are, you are right on track. But I'm just warning you that your mother is a volcano and she's like ready to erupt and you know, she listens to your phone calls, she reads your diaries, you know, all these kind of things. And I was just like mortified. I was like, oh my God. And I can remember like being so defiant at that age. Like I think I went out and got drunk that night and like didn't come home and all the kind of self fulfilling prophecy stuff, you know. And so it wasn't until, you know, much later on in my life and you know, had a very big, long and huge life living in Australia. I moved to Australia. So it was kind of like Canada, Australia, you know, there are the opposite sides of the planet. So I was removed myself completely from the situation where I would still send loving letters, I would still send photos of my children. Once I had children, they didn't really, you know, they didn't even meet my kids and everything.

So how long were you not in contact with your mom?

I was about. Well, once the children were like. Because my, my son was born, there was a lot of drama around, you know, his mixed race and you know, and I just really understood it from the perspective of my mother carrying that wound of, you know, not owning like again what I was saying of her hating that part of herself that was mixed race. She couldn't own that. So to see it full blown in her grandson, it was just like, oh, you know, too triggering for her. So I could understand it. But at the same time, of course there was then the own grief, my own grief and sadness around dealing with that, you know. So it was six years before I came back to Canada and that's the first time that they met my kids, you know. And of course, you know, I mean I was a pretty far out there hippie, you know, girl, like lived on a deserted island with a baby and you know, birthed in a teepee and like doing all these radical things and my mom's way of like showing that she had come to sort of approve of anything, you know. Like I had a water birth like almost 30 years ago. I had a water birth way before water birth was like popular or common or whatever. And my mother literally thought I was insane. Like this girl needs to be locked up. This is just. She has completely flipped out. Now she's talking about birthing in the water. What is the matter with our child? Like, you know, because my concepts, I guess, you know, was so far ahead of the time, you know, and so far out of their paradigm that it was like they just, just the only label they could give me was crazy. And then her way, like, many years later, there was a big article in the Toronto Star, in the newspaper about the positive benefits of water birth. Because now it's very, of course, positive. And you know, it's like water birth is like the birthing way of the 21st century. It's the easiest, most gentlest way of birth. So she cut the article out and she sent me the article so she would never say, like to me, wow, amazing. You actually were doing this and all these other things way before it was popular. She'll just send me little articles out of the newspaper.

That, that's so funny because my dad did the same with like an Ayurveda article. Like, huh, Wall street wrote about Ayurveda. It's like, does this mean you approve.

Or what is this? Yeah, the approval.

They don't know how to say it.

Yeah, yeah. Because it's so out of their realms, you know, they don't relate to any of these things. And what I also realized is that, you know, people of that generation, you know, they had a pretty hard time. Like your parents were immigrants coming here to America as well. Mine were immigrants coming to Canada as well. They just wanted to fit in. So you don't go doing like crazy things, stick feathers in your hair or like do something to stand out, you know, or wear your, you know, Jamaicanness or your Britishness or whatever on your sleeve. You were like, you know, did look around, see what the status quo was doing and fit in with the status quo. You see it here in America with people who have a parent that spoke a different language and they get to America and they're just like, okay, let's just talk English because we don't want our kid to have an accent or doesn't speak English properly or whatever. And unfortunately, because of course they're going to learn English anyways. But to learn the second language is more difficult later on in life. But they did that because they just wanted them to fit in. So I can go back and forgive my parents for absence of absolutely everything because I can see where it was coming from. Like, even my mom one time expressed like, with me having a mixed race child, you know, she was like, it's Hard enough in this world, let alone, you know, being mixed race, because she was growing up in Jamaica, where people of color were having a very difficult time. So, you know, it was coming out of fear, you know, whereas meanwhile, because my son was colored and then because we were living in Australia, you know, and they were trying to paint a picture in Australia of being very open with, you know, not as racism as Australia has been labeled. You know, he would easily get roles for everything that he applied for because there isn't very many people that. Especially actors, you know, of color in Australia. So he was getting many, many roles, you know, because of the fact and because he's beautiful and because he's extremely talented, naturally talented, and he's, like, got this, you know, he's beautiful. So it doesn't resonate with reality, but I could see her fear was coming, right?

It was the reality of her time that if you were mixed race, you were inferior to white people. Whereas now it's like. It's almost like Beyonce, like, we were all, like, making ourselves more tan, and it's like almost like this opposite of us wanting to become more exotic, though it could also be considered cultural appropriation. But. But that's. It's. It's you choosing someone that you naturally were attracted to, and you had a child, and it was your child and your choice.

Yeah, exactly. You know, and he's my ancestor child. You know, it was like he came back to bring that pride back into our family. And I knew that right from the moment I conceived him, like, at 24, I knew who he was, whom I. I had a very strong. I still do have a very strong soul connection with my eldest son on that level of, you know, like, the roots and healing, that ancestry that wound from the ancestry and, you know, so many incredible synchronistic things, like, because I guess I was living my life much more just in flow, you know, now we talk about, like, getting into our flow and just living in that flow where you meet the right people, you get taken to the right place, everything, just like. It's like the universe is just providing for you all the opportunities. Well, my whole life has kind of been like that. To heal my spirituality and to flow and move along those lines, you know. So before I left Australia to go to Africa, we had this woman, Louisa Taish, and she wrote the book Jambalaya. And she channels one of her ancestors who gives her, like, recipes and all kinds of things and healing different healing modalities and everything else. And she's one of her ancestors who comes through. And so she came to Australia and just before we left for Africa and I put on a workshop for her and she gave us a whole ritual to do where if you have been somewhere where your ancestors have been persecuted, then there's kind of like a tear in the field that is like a leakage of energy that comes down through the DNA. And then, you know, I went to school and I studied transgenerational trauma to understand this whole, you know, transgenerational trauma that something that happened two generations ago and then it's affecting the person in this generation. They maybe didn't have that trauma, but it's actually passed on where through the DNA, through the bones. So it's like if they didn't do their work, that's why it's very important for all of us to do our work and to know, to have love and compassion for yourself. Sometimes when you're going through something that it's not just your stuff. You might be dealing with your grandmother's grief, you might be dealing with your, you know, your grandfather's suicide. My grandfather committed suicide on my father's side, the family, you know, and I've gone into that. There's so many things. We are, we are multi dimensional beings and we're. When we put our hands up and we embark on our spiritual path and it's not just like a straight line, it's a very, very windy path that spirit starts. It's like jumping in a river that's flowing and you just have to trust, you know, that current and riding on that current because we've opened ourselves up to this. The more spiritual realms, which aren't so black and white, you know, it's going to take us on a journey like you did when you trusted your intuition to go to Bali. And you know, one thing led to the next, led to the next, led to the next. You trusted yourself with the book, you trusted yourself, you know, it's just that constant, like putting one foot in front of the other and trusting these processes. So, you know, to get back to Louisa Tay, she gave us this ritual to close this portal of suffering that had happened to any of your ancestry. So like for example, if someone had Jewish ancestry, if they go to the place, you know, like going to Auschwitz or somewhere where the Jewish people were persecuted, there's like a tear in the field, in the Auric field of the earth and in the Auric field of their, their ancestry. So this ritual to close that portal so that your next generation doesn't have to suffer from that suffering that happened to your ancestors.

And could this be with past lives, too? Because sometimes I go places that I like. Europe. I don't resonate with Europe. Like, I don't know something about it. Just the architecture. And I grew up in Boston, which was very European, and I always felt like I had been a slave there. And I. And just seeing that colonialist attitude, it always invoked fear in me. Whereas, like, my ancestors weren't slaves in Europe, you know, so I'm wondering where that came from.

Yeah, for sure, for sure, for sure. You know, I had a beautiful massage yesterday from Jenny and advise anyone to keep getting body work, because bodywork is so healing to move things out. And, you know, she picked up, like, a past life trauma in the back of my heart, you know, of like a tomahawk, you know, coming. I was born in Canada, and I. I swear I just came in there to be in the vibration of the place where I had died in a past life, you know, and to absorb the vibration, you know, kind of pick up where I left off.

Do our souls always maybe choose to be born somewhere we previously died?

I don't know. You know, I mean, who knows the great mystery, right? We really, really, really never know. But I definitely know that I have experienced many, many, many different past lives. And, you know, just the way things have been orchestrated and shown, you know, it's. What's the word? When things are just so uncanny and so synchronistic and so you cannot. You couldn't have possibly orchestrated this, you know, like, with this story. So we end up in Africa. We end up in Gambia. Gambia is a very, very, very tiny country. One, because I wanted to learn African dance. Two, my partner wanted to learn African drumming and how to make Africa. And three, I wanted my children to have the experience of a village. You know, I didn't want to have them, like, locked up in a house. I wanted them to be able to run free. They're little boys. I wanted them to just be able to express themselves. And four, I wanted my black son to have an experience of being in the majority instead of in the minority. Because growing up in white Australia, it was like all white kids and then him. And so I wanted him to have that experience of all black kids and then us. You know, it was like you sort of had this white family, and it was an amazing experience. And we taken to this slave house. You know, it's very funny. You have to take a boat to get over there. If anyone's ever read the book Roots, remember the book Roots by Adolesceci well, Kunta Kinte's great grandmother, great, great, great, great great grandmother is like, you know, there's a sign that's like still there in that village, which is on the other side of the island. And then you take a little boat to get over to this island and the building, the slave house is all dilapidated. Like saw big stones. But of course the roofs would have been made out of thatching or whatever, so they've all fallen away. And it's just like these stones that are there and tons of baobab trees. It reminded me of the Little Prince with all these baobob trees on this little tiny island, like knocking the stones over. And you could see where they would have put people inside and then treated them like so badly. They poured the food in, they had to shit in there. They had to do everything in there and just pour the food in, like in a trough, you know, and tons of people crowded in there and then a boat pulling and then load the people onto the boats and then they were sailed off to the new world. So I sat there on that wall with my son, you know, he was five and a half. And I explained to him why his skin was darker brown than mine. I'm light brown, he's dark brown. And to always be proud of the color of his skin because this is what his ancestors went through to come to that side of the world. And you know, and we had just shaved his hair because he had very long hair, had never cut his baby hair. He had long hair down here, kind of like my grandson son does at the moment. And everybody thought he was a girl being in Africa because the African boys always have shaved heads. So he, you know, came one day and said he wanted to shave his head. So we had just shaved his head and I had all his baby hair there with me. And I, you know, and he, without, you know, knowing it, walked out into the water and he did the ritual that Louisa Teiche had taught me. And he started throwing his hair in the four directions, like closing the portal and screaming out, you know, top of his lungs, that this should never happen people again. And you know, he was just like, he did the ritual. I was just sitting there with tears in my eyes, just watching this like amazing being, you know, that he has even a five year old. But he was a strong being and he's so proud. And he's really come back to like owning that part of himself, that mixed part of himself, like coming here now to America and experiencing racism here in America. For the first time in his life really, because he didn't really have that in Australia. So like the whole biracial tendencies that are, you know, part of the fabric of American culture, you know, still. So he, you know, had that strong experience in Africa and that was just like, you know, that was all just like in praying to my ancestors because there was no way that anyone was telling me what who was who in our family or what. It was just prayers, it was just communication with those other realms. Just show me, show me what I need to know. Guide me. I'm open to be guided, you know, Guide me to where I need to be and what I need to see and what, you know. And at that stage, I mean, I wasn't planning on teaching or doing anything with it. It was just my life. I just wanted to understand my DNA and heal it, you know. And I know that I was doing this work for myself and for all of my lineage behind me and for my children in front of me, you know, doing it for my sons and for my grandsons and for all the, you know, the next generation that comes out of my DNA in front of me as well as behind me. So, you know, on that note of when we're doing our spiritual work, to really have lots and lots and lots of love and compassion for yourself to not, you know, we all need to put down the whips of self flagellation of beating ourselves for or not being good enough or, you know, when we slip and we fall back into old patterns again. We're all doing and processing so much, you know, and so much of it is not even our own. It is coming from these lineages, collective consciousness, past lives. There's so much that we are processing and going through and sometimes so for me, the process of coming back again and again and again and again to the sensations in the body is how I can then go, relax, relax, relax, you know, because it can just be like tension that builds up in the body and, you know, maybe it's not yours. You know, you hear a loud sound and it triggers some memory. Maybe you died in a war, you know, or maybe you're someone in your family, you know, maybe like a mother's going through war torn Europe, you know, there was bombs going off, they might have been pregnant with you, you know, and so every time they heard that sound, you know, their whole nervous system tensing up and you're flooded with all that adrenaline and all those chemicals as a little fetus growing inside your mother. And so then you're born in America and there's no bombs going off, but every time you hear a helicopter, your whole nervous system flips out and you're like, oh my God, I don't know why, you know, and then someone labels you as oh well, you've got some this thing or the other or your, you know, child is autistic or your child is this addh or whatever. No, it's just all stuff that's going on in the nervous system. And so how to create those spaces where we can calm the nervous system down, bring ourselves back into the present moment, use the mind and the consciousness to communicate to when fear comes up in the body to either get someone else to lay their hands on your body or have ourselves learning that self care to put our hands on our body and say, take care of yourself. It's okay. It's okay. Okay. It's okay, you know, cuz it's a, it's a crazy world out there sometimes.

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I guess it's, you know, from doing it so much with myself. Like everything that I teach is coming from that place of work that I've done myself. I can't teach anything that I haven't already embodied. So because I have that deep understanding within my own body, I can scan someone else's and sort of see where that energy is blocked or where that Energy is really tight, or, you know, where that fear is, where that heart is closed down, you know, where that mask is hiding a shadow piece of themselves because they're too afraid to share their authentic self for being judged or whatever. You know, like I was. So it's just like recognizing that and then coming into, like, a love and compassion and creating a space where they can feel safe enough that they can relax. And usually then when the body relaxes, you know, tears can come, because that's the way our body naturally releases. You know, it's like if we look at the. The spectrum of how the body is, it's like we'll go through the tension, we'll go through the anger or whatever, and then underneath that, there's the hurt, so there's the sadness and the grief and everything. Then once that's relieved, and then it's like we'll come to these deeper places of stillness where we can go, wow, I haven't felt that in a long time. Just to come back to this deep place of quiet and stillness and go, it's all going to be okay. But we need to go through those places because we can get stuck in just the pattern of the automatic reaction, the nervous system. When this happens, this is how I react. When that happens, this is how I react. And so then the more we can kind of feel our bodies and go, okay, well, this is happening. I'm going to try and choose to respond differently by tuning in with what's going on with my body. Body.

So we were talking a lot about root chakra, because with twerking, obviously you're opening up that root chakra, and a lot of people can't move their bodies in that way at all. Especially in the Western world, we're totally blocked off because even in yoga practice, you're not moving your hips. In ballet, like the activities we do, nothing's moving your hips. Whereas in Africa, in the Middle east and other parts of the world, it's all about the hips. So if someone's feeling like, you know, I can't move my body in that kind of way, what is this? That say that the blockage could be. And how do they open up the root chakra?

Well, we only need to take one close look at what's going on in our society as far as, like, sex right now to sort of see that, you know, it is the most powerful center. It's like, it's the most powerful energy that we have is our sexual energy. And where does it lie? You know, it's right There in the root chakra. And. And so much of our guilt and shame is right there in our root chakra. You know, our family, our abuse, our survival is all part of the root chakra. So when there's an imbalance and also our connection to the earth. So most of us, we've all been disconnected from the earth. So there's a kind of a disconnect with, like, well, where's my connection to the earth? Where's my connection to that. That primal root, root energy? And if you can't move it, you know, because there's like, shame is locked up in there. It's like so much shame or guilt around having this sexual energy that it goes into the shadows, you know, and it's. It goes numb. That's the fight. Fight or freeze, you know, it goes into the numbness, you know, where it's like frozen, actually. Frozen pelvis, you know, and we see this a lot, you know, and a lot of guys especially as well, they can't even move. Their. Their pelvis doesn't rock anymore, and the pelvis should rock. Whereas, yeah, when you're down, you see, like, all these crazy movements that can happen where they're, you know, a lot more comfortable with their sexuality. And, you know, there's a lot more playfulness with their sexuality than there is in the. In the west, where it's like, you know, you can't destroy energy, especially not, you know, that powerful energy. So if it can't be destroyed, which, you know, church and religion and everything try to destroy it. Like, the whole thing of making that you're more spiritual if you're celibate, you know, and all these kinds of things, it's like sending a message that there's something wrong with this part of our body. And so that's kind of made a lot of people shut down. And we're still, like, coming. We're thawing out of 2,000 years of that programming that there's something wrong with our sexuality. And so now, as people are thawing out from that, it's like we are seeing these dance modalities, which, you know, thank God they've come from Africa being brought over. The thing we need to be careful of, though, is because of, like, that shadow piece still being there, of it being that we have to do it to give away our sexuality or women need to do it to feel sexy or whatever. But. Whereas it's just like, this is a dance, you know, this is fun. This is like. It's an expression of my sexuality. It's like owning my sexuality in this way that's like super fun, super expressive. At the same time, we don't need to sell ourselves out or, you know, like. Cause a lot of times the music that goes with it is like talking about hoes and bitches and, you know, and all this kind of stuff. And it's like, no, you know, and.

Then we associate, you know, like even twerking. It's like twerking like cardi b. Like that's what we think of. It's an ancient dance and it's always existed. Even in the tantric lineage. It's always existed, but we're just associating it with the shadow aspect of our sexual culture that has turned it into a commercialistic thing.

Yeah. And also, you know, when we look at all that stuff, you know, like how many people are addicted to pornography now and stuff, and the addiction to pornography and the prevalence of pornography and the prevalence of the child sex trade, you know, that's going on is just horrific on this planet, really. It's just. And that is to me just showing exactly where our consciousness is at with our sexuality when all these things are happening. You couldn't get further away from normal, healthy, normalized sexual practices. So twerking, like the way, you know, they move in Africa actually comes from a dance that they used to do to teach the girls, like, how to be a better lover. You know, when they were going through their girls initiation ceremony, once a girl would start to bleed, they would learn these dances and they have so much fun with these dances. You know, there's that beautiful book on the tribes of now. Have you ever seen that? It's an amazing book where the girls go out and the men, they're all naked, this tribe. And this incredible photographer from Germany went there and she filmed this tribe and one of their fetish dances that they would do once the girls became of age and they were looking for a husband or not a husband, looking for someone to have children with, they would do these dances and the guys had to just sit there, you know, just sit there tapping their legs on the ground and tapping this stick on the ground and kind of look down while the girls are shaking and they're all naked, you know, dancing, like so wild, twerking, moving. And then she comes over and like puts her leg, like one leg over top of his shoulder, you know, and twerks and does this whole like thing like that.

The original lap dance.

Yeah, the original dancing, you know, and it's just like incredible. But you know, there was also like, this whole other side of the men used to fight with these, you know, things as well. And, like, the strongest man would go into the body scarification. I mean, it was very, very tribal. You know, it's a very, very ancient tribe in Africa that this woman just was able to capture this, you know, long before. It kind of probably doesn't exist anymore, but. But the dances, you know, you see them everywhere. And one of my African dance teachers from Mozambique, and she was teaching us some of these dances that, I mean, she could make one cheek go one way and one go the other way. And I was like, oh, my God. Like, I can. I can move my hips, but I can't do that. You know, that was just like, incredible. Super fast one going.

Because they're so connected to that part of them that they can notice the subtleties and really just. Just like, accentuate the little things. Whereas for us, it's just like this big hip or butt. You know, it's like. Like our hands. We can do so many hand movements, but if we had never used our hands, it would just be like this. Like a dog's hand. It's just like this floppy thing. So the more we're aware of that part of the body, the more, like, the subtleties happen. I notice in myself, if I'm not dancing, I feel like I can't move anymore. And then once I do, I can move in such subtle and different ways because just that brain body connection restores again.

And belly dancing originally was the birthing dance. It was the, you know, women did it for women, and women did it when they were bringing their babies down so that they didn't have painful childbirth. You know, they moved, you know, through the intelligence of the body, and then somehow, you know, through the whole transitioning from matrilineal systems to patrilineal patriarchy. You know, the dance became something that women did for men, and the whole dance form changed. But the original belly dancing was a birthing dance for sure for women. And so, you know, that whole thing of, like, moving the body, undulating the body, you know, what are you doing? You're unwinding the fascia. You're unwinding the tension in the body so that the pelvis could open more, so that the baby could come out easier. So another reason why so many people getting caesareans, you know. Cause they can't, like, just relax in the pelvis and relax to open. Open to allow that the cervix and the whole body to just open. A lot of. A lot of People are just, you know, we spend way too much time sitting. So look at the. You know, the direction of the hips when we're sitting. Whereas in the correct way of sitting is more like, you know, how you are sitting like that with your legs up and sitting in a squat.

I'm not comfortable in chairs. I'm like, I'm on an airplane, squatting on the chair. I can't do it.

Me too. I cannot sit for all those hours. And I'm like, well, they can say whatever they want, you know, but I'm not getting off this plane with swollen ankles like everybody else, you know, and it's like, see, it's all that disconnected.

From our bodies and we don't even know. We're just so used to our bodies feeling so stiff and sore. Whereas for me, I don't do yoga. One day I'm like, how do people live like this?

I know exactly. I'm, like, doing it. I got the. I've been looking after my grandkids. I have them, like, climbing all over me. I'm just, like, making games so I can, like. Cause I just have to stretch, you know. They just climb all over me while I'm doing in my yoga practice today, like, you know, waiting to come up to see you. And I went down to the ocean and heard a great track. And I was just like, I just have to dance, you know, I just have to dance because I haven't danced since our workshop, you know, And I'm normally dancing every day and so staying in, you know, being here and I've been with family and stuff. I haven't danced every day. And I really notice it. And just that 10 minutes of dancing. I had this, like, amazing track that I'm gonna play this Sunday and was just like, down at the ocean. And I thought, there's so many crazy people here in la, and normally they're angry. Normally you see, like, a crazy person, like, walking across the street or shouting at you, or there was a lady in the park with the kids the other day who started screaming just all kinds of stuff, obscenities out of the bathroom. And, you know, it's kind of like normal to see a lot of mental health patients out on the streets in California, you know, like, I was shocked the first time I came here, but now I kind of like, okay, is this. This is just how it is. But you don't really see a lot of crazy people that are crazy happy. You know what I mean? So I thought, what happens if I just start busting out as if no one's watching. And it was just like down here dancing like crazy. I just couldn't hold back. And it was amazing to see how many people then smile and how many people just laugh and how many people wave at you or beep the horn or. It's like it has that contagious effect. It does.

And we're so afraid of being the ones that start it when we're just doing such a benefit to society.

Even when I go in the airport, if I've got an 18 hour flight or something I've got to do, my body is trained because I've been for seven years. Every Sunday we have ecstatic dance and I pretty much don't miss it unless I'm working on Sunday. It's like my body almost, it's like jogging or any of those things that you do regularly. My body wakes up and goes, it's Sunday. And sometimes I have to catch a flight on a Sunday, Sunday. And so my body will just, you know, I'm listening to music and one time I just like went down, I was listening to music and as soon as I got to the airport, I was like, oh, I guess I got to turn the music off, down. It's like, do I. I'm gonna just keep it on and I'm just gonna keep grooving. You know, I'm just like the sterile environment of the airport and everything else. And it was hilarious. When I got on my flight, so many people I didn't even notice, noticed me. And you know, they all did like a crazy little funny dance. Every, every person when they saw me get on the flight and had a big.

So you were just dancing at the airport?

Yeah, I was just dancing at the airport, like doing everything I was doing, but I had my music in and I just didn't stop my booty from shaking the whole time that I was going through the airport. And it was like so funny because I got on that flight and everybody was like, you know, people were doing little, little moves. You know, they'd all do like a funny little move and take them out of their comfort zone.

So you're going through security, dancing, getting your bag, still in the groove. I, I love it. And, and it's like, why don't we do that? We're waiting for someone to give us permission. You know, I catch myself all the time, like, oh, I can dance if I'm in an ecstatic dance or if I'm in a dance class. When I'm alone at home, I have the same floor and the same body. Why aren't I dancing? And it's like we almost feel like we have to be around other people who are dancing to let us. And it's like you can choose at any moment.

Yep, yep. It's one of those, you know, even with the grandkids, like I put the music on and I'm like, abuelita needs to have her dance now. And you know, and when no one's home and it's just me and the kids, you know, and getting them dancing because, you know, the children need it as well. And you know, every two year old has. It's like the two year old dance move, you know, they all. Doesn't matter. In China, Africa, Western kids, you know, they all do the same kind of like weird little. Yeah, one leg, you know, jump hop thing that they, they all do. You know, like universal two year old dance.

Kids twerk too.

And kids twerk. I mean in the Aboriginal kids. Which it's not part of the. Their dances, their traditional dances, the aboriginal kids. But I was teaching, this is years ago, I was teaching hip hop in the Aboriginal dance communities. And the kids, they were so cute. They would put their shirt over their head and then twerk. Like they could just grind all the way up and down and all over the place like these really little kids. And one time I was teaching at this festival and it was teenager and these kids were really hard, the hard basket, you know, and I was kind of like, oh boy, here we go. Like, okay. You know, I had all really good. Like I was, I had teenagers at the time, you know, So I was like, they were. I would get all their music. So I was playing all the updated music for them and I'm okay, okay, you know, who do you like? And all this kind of stuff and everything with the kids hype music. I. And I was like, oh boy, this is gonna be fun. You know, no one asking them. They'd all just like sit down and like this. And then finally I would get them like dancing by, you know, playing music and get the kid because they had these dance performances at night that were phenomenal that these aboriginal kids were doing. I'd say, who choreographed that last night? And finally the one kid, you know, where all their friends would tell me that kid choreographed it. And I'd say, okay, let's do the math. You can either get a job in McDonald's and work for $2 an hour or, you know, in all these towns I just drove through, I didn't see one dance class. I didn't see one hill hip hop dance class, you know, and if you want to do this for life, you can do this for your life. You know, it's like, again, helping kids, like, to think outside of the box. Then they were all coming to my dance class, you know, and they had this I want to be tent where they had like a. The kid got its photo taken, and then it had like all these little boys were running around with a picture of them with a machine gun because they had the army there, so they had the kid's face. And then it was like a soldier outfit with a machine gun. So I grabbed one of these boys and I pulled them out and I was like, what is this? And it's like, oh, I've been to the I wanna be tent. So if they wanna be a soldier, it was like. But it was like a very clever idea. But the only alternative thing that they could do was dance. So, you know, I just was like, really plugging these kids of, like, with dance, you know. And then I went back and saw the people later on the afternoon, they said, oh, my God, we were inundated by kids wanting to be dancers, you know, and they all had these cards of. And then on the back of the card, it had what level of high school they needed, what other schools they could go to to study, you know, and it just inspired them. So again, it's like you. You know, it's just that planting that seed of inspiration into a child of like, hey, you want to do this? You can do this. You can go as far. Like, the ones who were choreographing, they were amazing dancers. And I worked out that anytime because a common saying that kids say is shame job in Australia, you know, so the reason they put their shirt over their head is because, you know, they're ashamed.

So it's a bad job.

Yeah, they say shame job. It's like a slang, Australian slang. Like, oh, shame job. So moving the hips and moving the pelvis, which they all can do, and they do like twerking, like, amazing. When they're just like mucking around the kids together. But, you know, like, oh, you know. And so I would stop the music every time I'd hear the word shame. And I gave them a lecture on shame. I was like, look, you can be shy, you can be. You can use the word feel embarrassed or whatever, but you cannot use the word shame. Shame came to them from the colonial, you know, you should be ashamed of yourself, you know, because they were running around naked when they. When the white People first came to there and they, it's such a deep wound and you can't move forward when you're holding shame. So the same for anyone with this hips thing, you know, the root chakra, it's like moving the energy up to the higher chakra. You have to claim, like, that's the path of tantra. That's the beauty of tantra. It's got the three down and the three up. And the meeting place is the heart and it owns. And there's practices for claiming and healing and purifying the three lower chakras as much as purifying the three upper chakras in the heart chakra. So whereas like a lot of the other paths, they're all about let's take the energy up, up, up, you know, to God. But denying that we actually are in an animal body and we have to purify and, and heal these wounds that have happened to our lower three chakras.

Absolutely. And so much of just the modern spiritual like yoga meditation community is so third eye. Third eye. How do we open up the third eye? And it's not going to happen if you don't address the other chakras. But the chakras have too much shame and you're going to get the wrong kind of attention and people won't take you seriously. And you know, the same things that I was so afraid of, I still see everyone else is dealing the same. I'm like, wait, you guys, like are dealing with these things? I thought it was just me coming from, you know, my Middle Eastern background. But it's like a universal thing that if you show that you're a sensual or sexual woman, you'll attract the wrong kind of people. You're not going to get the kind of jobs that you want. You're going to be considered a whore. And we're so afraid of being put into that category that we ignore our physical bodies and try to transcend into the cosmic cosmos, forgetting that we're in these costumes for a reason. We were meant to actualize in them.

Exactly. And enjoy and celebrate. And like I was saying at the workshop, you know, we as women need to reclaim that womb space, you know, the second chakra moving up from the root chakra and reclaiming this is. This is the portal that life comes through. All life. Life comes through the female bodies.

Yes. You know, I'm seeing more and more women. I mean, cycling with the moon cycles is becoming more and more popular. People are addressing it. But today, actually I heard in a rap song which I don't even remember the rapper, but he's like, sex on your period. I like that. I was like, that's great that they're saying that in rap now. Because even before it was like, sex on your period. Like, periods are disgusting. And it's like, okay. I mean, now it's kind of getting into the culture that, like, periods are a beautiful thing and we can honor them. And today, also on my social media, I saw this girl who had sex on her period, and those stains were. All the sheets were all bloody. And she was saying how she had just seen her partner after so long, but she was afraid of having sex with him because she didn't want to get the sheets bloody and, like, get the hotel mat or have to pay for new sheets or whatever it was. But she went for it and she decided to share. And it's like, that would not have happened even, like five, 10 years ago. So it's like. It's these conversations that are opening up this portal of like, your period is beautiful.

Yeah. And also, you know, a woman is in her most powerful point when she's bleeding, you know, because that is an opening straight to God. So it's an incredibly powerful time to make love, you know, but with someone who really, really, really loves you. And because it's also. Can be detrimental energetically because you're so incredibly open at that time. If it's the wrong kind of energy, you know, coming in, you're incredibly open during that time when you're mental demonstrating. So. But learning to reclaim it, you know, as the temple, you know, it's the really sacred, sacred, sacred time that you're bringing the man into the point where he can tap into the goddess.

Yeah. You're blessing him.

Yeah. And he can tap into the inner goddess and he receives all those minerals, you know, I mean, well, if you're. If you're not using a condom. If he's using a condom, then, you know, you're not gonna. He's not going to receive that, but he's received that bodily transmission, a huge bodily transmission from your body if you're making love with someone during that time. So it really, really, really should be someone who loves you deeply, you know?

And I think this is so important because a lot of people think, oh, tantra is free sex. Everyone just has sex with each other. And it's not at all. It's actually being even more choosy about who you let into your temple because, you know, the energy exchange that it really is like, do you want to trade DNA with just any random person because he's hot.

And you.

Do you want all his past lives and trauma and all these things coming into your.

Every womb that he's been in for the last, you know, like, seven years and messed up with, all entangled into your womb space? Yeah.

And it's interesting because I feel like now, like, the feminist movement, where you've, like, shifted the pendulum of, like, well, as a female, I can have sex with whoever I want and whenever I want because we're, like, fighting back from the repression. But it's not about just fucking everyone either.

No, no, it's definitely not. And I think women really, you know, it's almost like there's an agenda that's pushing. Pushing women. Yeah. Which is still part of the patriarchy, you know, and it's still like the sacred feminine. When she really reclaims her body as.

A temple, it's like, you better honor me.

Yeah, you better honor me. It's like, you know, think of a temple. When we use the word temple, you don't just let someone, you know, in Bali, you take off your shoes, you dress appropriately, you come in there with offerings. That's when you enter the temple.

You better bring me offerings.

Yes. You know, so if you're going to be letting somebody into your body, you know, letting someone into your body, that's the most intimate space of your being. It's like they better be coming in with some honoring. It doesn't. And it has nothing to do with, you know, whether you're going to marry that person or stay with that person forever or whatever, or if you're in a committed relationship with that person. But still, there should be an energetic honoring and those tantric practices that are, you know, to help bringing the energy back to the heart where you're honoring the feminine, you're both honoring the. The feminine. The feminine as the feminine in everything. You know, the feminine in the. In the man, the feminine in the woman. Honoring the femininity of life. You know, the life force energy. Shakti, life force energy. She is the feminine. And, you know, I think this push of women, like, thinking that they can just, like, have sex all over the place is actually kind of gets detrimental to their womb space. And it was interesting. I was teaching a tantra week retreat over in Portugal, and it was near the. The retreat center, Tamara, which started the whole polyamorous, I think the term. It's a polyamorous community in Portugal. And there was three women who had been staying there, living there in that community that came to My workshop. And when I separated the men and the women and we had like a men and women's circle separate, it was really interesting that three of the women actually really broke down and cried saying that they were in this whole thing. What they really wanted was a man to treat them like a queen. They wanted to be the queen, but there was a deep wound inside of them that didn't think that they could have a man treat them just as a queen. So they were going along with this whole polyamorous thing, but it wasn't actually serving them at all. That's what I saw. You know, they were actually suffering a lot in that whole thing. And there was a lot of drama and there was of a lot, A lot of. I'm not saying, you know, monogamy is the only way or whatever, but just in this way of like constantly changing partners and everything I saw the radiance of their own womb space was not as radiant as it should be when it's being fully 100% honored. And first and foremost, women need to honor that for themselves. All life comes through that. You know, it's like, if you can carry life in there, that's a pretty big honor. So you have to honor what, you know, what. What our body does and what our body is in order to attract men that also are honoring. Wow. You know, honoring women and what we are, you know, in our physicality and in our bodies. And so, yeah, these ceremonies and rituals that we've lost and are starting to come back again to help women to own that part of themselves.

So I would love to know more like your take on polyamory because it really is such a buzzy topic in especially the millennial generation. And. And we've done podcasts with people who are like, very pro open relationship and people who are very for monogamy. So I'd love to hear your perspective on it.

Well, I guess I was pretty polyamorous when I was younger and then once I was pregnant and I got with my partner and I stayed in a relationship for 21 years, we had a few open moments and things that happened that it was long before there was like, healthy ways of knowing how to communicate and navigate around, you know, what used to get termed cheating, you know, in a relationship or whatever, and was definitely detrimental and hard in the relationship to navigate those moments. When I got out of that relationship, I was, you know, in. I didn't want to be in a full time relationship. And so I was like very much in the polyamorous scene. And I Just for me, after being in a committed 21 years relationship with ups and downs, of course, and everything else, what I noticed for myself that in there was parts of myself that I would not open in a polyamorous relationship because the trust factor wasn't there. And again, it was just an observation of what was going on in my body. It's like watching a flower, you know, whether it can open all the way or it's just going to remain a little bit closed, you know. And because of that, he's going to be with me and I'm going to open my heart and expose everything. And then when I really maybe need him, you know, when something else is maybe coming up, he might be with the other woman. So I better just like keep that stuff to myself, you know. So those deeper parts of myself I didn't really open. That's just me personally then. I was in all these different kind of communities and sort of watching what was happening and sort of going, oh my gosh, it's like so much drama. And I could also see how, you know, we are as human beings. You know, addiction is just such a big thing. And because I've really been looking at this whole addiction in my own addictions and afflictions and studying them, I can see that in polyamory, you know, if it's not done correctly, we can create so many dramas that we can get addicted to the drama.

Drama, yes.

You know, to have a constant drama, to have your nervous system like you can't relax.

Yeah.

You know, it's like I find that just constantly being in process is a really highly stressful situation.

And so it's definitely not the easy way out. In fact, there's a lot more work, I think there's a lot more work around it.

And you can't just, you know, kind of relax into it. And I think the feminine really needs that deep, deep, deep relaxation. Tantra is actually all about like deep relaxation in the body, you know. Coming.

So what does tantra say about monogamy, polyamory?

Well, tantra, actually traditional tantra has very little about sexuality in it. Very, very little about it, you know, and it's like crazy, you know, like one of this Aghori tantras that I studied with in India, you know, and he's like completely naked, kid, he's covered in human ash, dreadlocks down to the ground. He's got this like basket full of human skulls.

He was in Varanasi.

In Varanasi, you know, and comes out and like plonks like three human skulls on my. On my legs and one on my head says, this. This guy was a. Was a bad guy, but now he works for me, you know. Now I want you to meditate on the law of impermanence, you know, And, I mean, it was one of the deepest meditations I've ever had, is sit there holding like three human skulls and a human skull sitting on top of my skin skull, you know, and meditate on the law of impermanence. All of those, you know, crazy practices that came out of tantra, they were all to get to the same end as all the other yoga practices of stilling the mind, you know, but they just did it through the body, you know. So of course it included some sexual practices. Mithuna. But some of the adepts, like that would do that in some of the sacred temples and things. They would take like 10 years of training and 10 years of doing these practices and rituals and yantra and mantra and, you know, yoga and Ayurveda, they weren't separate things. It was diet. You know, there was restrictions in the diet. Nothing was just like, oh, open, free, open, slathered. Like our Western mind, we just grasp onto what we like.

So.

So tantra comes along. You know, it first came when the British went over there. They looked at these, you know, temples with all these carvings with sex in every different position and was like, whoa, this is amazing. You know, and from so repressed.

You should so do like a tantra retreat in India where we're like, tantric dancing and going to these temples. I would so do that.

Oh, I have. I have done that actually over there up in. Yeah, at. A few years ago, we did that. It was amazing. And going down to all the temples and. Yeah, it was really, really, really incredible. And the misunderstanding because one of my other teachers, you know, I say, well, what did, you know, what does it mean? Or whatever. And he was like, yeah, who made.

It become more sexual? Is it Osho?

No. Well, you know, Osho took tantra, you know, because he was trying, I think he was trying to like, heal the Western mind, you know, it was like. And because there was so much repression, it was. Was like, go for it.

Because the opposite of like, it's like Burning Man.

Yeah. And opposite of like the Samkhya path, which is like, you sit there. Samkhya path is, you know, you sit there and you observe and you observe and you observe and you observe. And eventually, you know, if you got a pain in your knee and you don't move for long enough, that pain actually moves, and it moves somewhere else in your body.

Right. Which is very. The vipassana.

Yeah, yeah, that. Which is also a tantric path, you know, like, that is also the part of tantra. Was that. So then there's the other extreme of like, you feel a desire and you go into it and into it and into it and into it to liberate the desire not to get stuck there.

Right.

So Westerners, you know, we think, oh, we go there without. Of all the other practices, without the honoring of the goddess. When we're penetrating, you know, a man is penetrating into a woman's body without the honoring of the Great Mother, without the yantra. You're going to sit there and do your 50, you know, 108 yantras together, you know, staring into each other's eyes before you even come into some kind of, you know, sexual union, you know, as an offering back to source and a way of like clearing and clearing your temple. No, we have alcohol and things and everything mixed in with it all and say, oh, I'm doing tantra. Well, it's not. Neo Tantra has zero to do with real tantra. And a lot of what the images. What my teacher was saying was that a lot of the images are to do with how to balance the sacred masculine, sacred feminine, the ida and the pingala nadis inside so that we can actually have the sacred marriage in the heart. And we do that with another. In the tantric practices, we're doing it with another of like circulating this energy because we have this energy of the masculine and the feminine. And it was also a path that came of. How do someone who is a household older, so they're having sex still, and they have children and they have work, how do they reach, you know, these paths where the Rishis were sitting in caves and given up everything? Yes. You know, how can the average everyday householder also have a spiritual path that can still lead to enlightenment? Nobody really knows when the, you know, when tantra came about, but the more I kind of look into the practices and everything, everything else, it feels like it's also very much mixed in with their ancient animistic shamanic practices that every culture had before religion came. And then it got mixed in with Hinduism. So it's got the whole pantheon of all the goddesses mixed in with all these animistic practices. You know, I mean, if you said to. If you said to someone, you know, yeah, you want to come practice some tantra? Okay, we're going to go sit in the graveyard yard we're going to dig up a dead body, and you're going to sit and meditate on that stinking corpse about the law of impermanence. And that's a tantric practice. They go, what are you crazy? I'm not doing that. You know, like, where's the sex guru?

I don't have sex with the Siguri Baba. Yeah, no, but that's absolutely right. And there was some, like, funny movie called like, the Love Grew or something.

Actors recently with my cameras. Can you imagine? I didn't, like. I didn't read.

Is this what you do?

Yeah, I didn't read what it was about. I just picked up a movie and.

I rewatched the worst movie you can pick up.

I was like, oh, well, at least there's Bollywood dancing in it. My mom likes that.

So funny.

But it's.

It's so true. And I mean, I think a lot of us just in Western society, and I don't think it's all, like, bad. Nothing's bad. But it's like, we pick and choose, and that can serve us in a lot of ways. Because a lot of the Vedic path is like, you. You do what your guru says, and if your guru did not say it, you can't do it. And it's almost this, like, you don't have any sovereignty. So I think the Western path is saying, I don't need a guru to tell me I'm gonna just go do it. But then it's taking the sacredness out of it and all of the things that actually need to come with the practice. So then you're just like, I'll have an orgasm for 10 minutes without doing any of the spiritual component. And it just doesn't work. So it's like, how do we keep that sacredness without, like, Indian style? Like, okay, Guruji, whatever you say, like, without having that. That being bounded by someone else.

Well, that's where I think, you know, the days of the guru are, you know, kind of over. And that we. We are. We do need to tap into the inner guru. But at the same time, the reason there was a guru. Guru just means teacher, was because the teacher helped us to stay with a discipline, you know, and.

Which is not a sexy word. We don't like that word.

No, we don't like that word. And, you know, so like, even, you know, one of the first 101 ones of Neo Tantra, you know, of, like, men learning how to save their seeds. So they're not ejaculating, they're injaculating. You know, it requires discipline to learn how to do that. You know, and a lot of people, they don't want to take the time or practice to do those things. So like you said, we pick and choose of, you know, even yoga. I mean, look at all the branches of yoga. And yet, you know, the one practice, just asana, which is the physicality of just doing asana practice. And we call that yoga yoga. But we're missing all the other practices that are in Ayurveda that didn't used to be separated. So we like to separate things and only take the bit that we want. And if you look at it as a tree and you had one branch that was like five miles long, and the other branch is cut off completely, the tree's gonna fall over. It's not a balanced path. And so the whole purpose of Ayurveda was to restore and maintain balance in the human body between the diet, whether your dosha, you know, all these things. It was all about balance. Right. You know, your guru knowing how, you know, because it would take 12 years to become an Ayurvedic doctor of really studying all these things. The pulse that so much that they would have to study. Then they would assign to you a practice that would be specific for that dosha to keep you in practice. And that might include, like, the way that you're going to have sex. That might include what foods you can and can't eat. It might include what kind of yoga practice, because you'll see, right, like people that are pitta. Right. People that are, like, out of balance with their fire, what are they going to be drawn to? They're going to be drawn to hot yoga, to bikram yoga.

I want to talk about sex. I've never talked about this. What kind of sex do the doshas want to have?

Oh, yeah. Well, the sex.

This is really what the conversation should have been around a lot. How each dosha.

I mean, I'm not the guru on that by any stretch of the mind.

I feel like pitta would be really, like, animalistic. Yeah, like.

Like fire. Like.

Like quickie fast go. And it's like, okay, I'm done by.

And they sweat, you know, like, they'll be sweating a lot and it'll be like a sweaty, hot.

Yeah.

And, you know, super like. Like that pitta. You know, they have to. To have it. It's almost like a, you know, craving desire. They.

They really want the orgasm.

They want it. They want sex. They want it. Like, it's.

Yeah, it's like hunger. They get very hungry.

They need and they.

They eat to have sex. It's urges.

Yeah, it's like, yeah, yeah. And vta.

What do you think that sex is like?

They probably, like, want to talk about it first and, you know, have a little conversation in the middle.

Do the yantras to each other.

They would have, like, you know, like, they probably dissociate a lot, you know, dissociation and go into fantasy mind. So they would need a practice that would be like a practice to slow it down, stay present with sensation in the body. The pitta people also slow it down and vata actually. And then there's the kappas, who will probably, like, you know, hey, honey, why don't we just, like, use the vibrators tonight? Because.

They'Re like, why don't you move? And I lie down.

Exactly.

Do you have any snacks? Yeah. I feel like. Well, Kof is also very loving.

Like, I feel like they're just like.

The cuddling and they're like, spooning each other and like, like the barely moving, spooning sex like that scapa. I feel like vata's like, let's explore. Like, they're probably the most likely to be like, let's bring this tantric practice in. But it's like, so heady.

Heady. Yeah. Stuck in their head and not in their body.

It's like, did you do it right? Did you inhale?

And it's like, yeah, yeah.

Wait, wait, wait. Turn off here.

Now you got to know, you gotta exhale. And they're not like, in their body or feeling what's going on. So, you know, like, for them just to have no words and just be present with the breath and present with their eyes so that they can drop into their body would be really, really, really, like, a good practice. And, you know, for pitta people, it would be like, slow it right down. You know, they would be the ones that cuddle more, cuddle more to let the softer parts of themselves come. And. And then the cup of people would be like, okay, let's, you know, let's try.

Let's try something out today.

Try something a little more energetic today and see where that leads us.

And it's so true. And I feel like in relationships, often we sometimes attract the opposite, but sometimes the same. And, like, looking at what your relationship dynamic is, because if it's like, okay, we're always kapha in the bedroom and in this, like, what we need. So looking at what your partner's tendencies are and how you. You can. Because a Lot of times why people don't relate sexually is just this exact reason that the doshas are different. So it's like how to know. To cater to that person while still honoring what you want.

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

So good. Well, so many topics. Oh, my gosh. This just flew by. So final words of. For just that person out there who wants to begin their embodiment journey. You know, they've. They've done the yoga, they've done some meditation, but they know there's something about coming home to the body. Like, how can they get started with this?

Come to a retreat with me in Bali.

Yeah, exactly. Tell about your vision. The Womb Center.

Yeah, it's the Gaia Center. I have this vision for this Gaia center of, you know, like a living community, you know, because I think again, people need to not just like, the retreats are great, and we do need these points, these pauses, you know, these full stops at the end of a sentence to go, okay, I need. Need to like, stop and re. Evaluate. You know, it's like a cycle. Like, here we are, it's full moon, so we cut. Where were you last full moon? You know, and to reflect from month to month. Oh, wow. The seasons are changing. It's starting to get cooler. We're at the end of summer and, you know, so reflecting on these cycles of life. So a retreat is a really beautiful point where you go, okay, you know what? I'm just going to take some time off. I'm going to not pick up my Instagram. I'm not going to be on it. I have digital detox, so I'm not filling my head with a bunch of stuff. So I'm. I can actually feel my body. That's why I love working with the elements, because they're so powerful. It's like you stand underneath the pounding waterfall. It's like you're in your body, you know, you can't be thinking about what you're going to post later on. It's like the water will bring you into the present moment. You know, standing around a fire, feeling these elements like, you know, and where they then are in our bodies helps us to then listen to those subtle little voices that sound, say, go left, go right, do this, do that, you know, Whereas when life is just on a constant roller coaster and we're going so fast, it's like we don't even have time to do that. So then, you know, we have our cultivated practice of doing our yoga in the morning. And, you know, it's good to go to Yoga classes, it's good to go to dance, you know, ecstatic dance practices. But like you said, you've got your dance floor right here. It's also good. You know, all of those things were once you like, look at your yoga, the routine of it. I mean now we're making up all kinds of new asanas and everything else and a class can be very varied. But generally the yoga asanas, it's like you could learn all those asanas and then it's self practice and discipline requires discipline. So just picking that one thing that you can be disciplined with to help bring you back in your body, it might be, you know, for the vata person it might be every night have a hot bath, you know, get into that warm water, calm the mind down, get into that water and breathe and reflect on your day and slow everything down. You know, for the pitta person it might be go jump in the ocean after you've had a hot day at work and you're like all hot headed and you're all fired up and you're ready to conquer the world and you're ready to do the next project and you're going to stay awake all night working on the next project. Go jump in the cold ocean and cool the hell down. You know, just like bring yourself down a notch. You know, for the cup of person it might be go for that walk, go for that run, you know, and get into your body, go to that dance class that you've always been wanting to go to but too afraid to go to or whatever, start, you know, just start something. And these self practices are the way that it becomes like a way of life, not just like oh, fad, you know, I was doing this for a little while and then I was doing that. No, it's your life and you know, health is life and taking care of this on a regular daily basis is the way that you're going to live a long, healthy life.

Absolutely. Well, thank you so much for sharing your wisdom. Can you tell us where your retreats are around the world?

Just getting back from Turkey and I'm heading back to Bali and my next teacher training is starting on November 12th for Elemental Awakening Immersion, which that is the prerequisite for my teacher training because I realize that a lot of people need to do some embodiment work before they can actually become a facility facilitator. And then the facilitator Training starts on 22nd November in Bali and they're both retreat centers are right on the water or on the ocean Two different retreat centers. You can do the Elemental Awakening Immersion just as a standalone retreat, or it's best if you want to do both. And there's a few days off in between for integration, and then the training starts. And then I do that again in May. In 2020. May 1st to the 7th is Elemental Awakening Immersion, and then is the teacher training straight after that. And in April, I have a beautiful retreat called Rise, which is for men and women and is absolutely amazing. We do African dance. We do a lot of different dance modalities. We do storytelling with John De Cat, who's a professional amazing musician and storyteller. And we help people because your story, that part in your mind is also part of your fabric of who you are. So by dancing your story and telling your story through your body, you start to turn around those traumas of the past into the gifts, the pearls of the future. So by doing it in the present moment. So Rise is a really. We did it last year for the first time, and we're doing it again this year because it was so phenomenal. So that's happening in April, just after Bali Spirit Festival, and I. And I'll be teaching at Valley Spirit Festival again. And hopefully you're gonna be there.

Yes, for sure. And I think you should definitely do this Indian poncha retreat. Yeah.

Who knows? I've been thinking about it. I've been thinking about taking people there. I'd love people to come and meet my teacher there. He actually went to school with Osho. You know, he's like, in his 80s, and he's just amazing. Beautiful being. And it's right at the. At the temples there. And, you know, so it's. You know, I always feel like, wow, these. These subjects are so vast and so huge. Like, I would never call myself a guru in any of it. You know, yoga. I've been doing yoga for 18 years, but I don't call myself a guru of any of it because it's so vast, you know, it's so huge. How could you possibly do that? But I, you know, practice them. And I actually have a yoga and dance retreat in Sri Lanka.

Yeah, I've been really feeling called to go to Sri Lanka.

Oh, well, this place is like, you want a digital detox. It's like super nature. Like, there's monkeys flying through the trees. Sometimes you have elephants come. There's a big giant lake. There's eagles flying by. It's so pristine and quiet. Just nature sounds. There's. It's. You know, it's built on a Traditional Ayurvedic. Sri Lankan village. Yeah.

Because there's so much Ayurveda.

This a. This is all traditional Ayurveda. We have, like, the steam that. You know, my favorite thing there, there is the. The human basket. It's like a steamer. And they put all the Ayurvedic herbs underneath you and light the fire. Yeah. And you get inside of it and it's like you're like a steamed.

Yes. I love it. It's like you're in a box with your head out. Yeah.

They just close you in there and steam you and. Oh, my God, that's my favorite thing in the whole world. So that's. That's coming up in June 2020 as well, in Sri Lanka. And all of it's on my website, www.in my elements with an S on the end on.

Yay.

You can put a little. Put a little thing there. And it's so wonderful to see you again here in la. Thank you so much for having me on Higher Self podcast. And I'm going to start a podcast too.

Yes, yes. You gotta share your wisdom and all your amazing stories.

Yeah.

Thank you so much for being here.

Yeah. Namaste. Namaste.

Oh, yes. Yes, yes, yes. Queen. It is always just a time warp when I'm speaking with Malaika because there's just, like, so much to say and so many topics to dive into. I'm like, well, what do you think about this? And what do you think about that? And I just love hearing her wisdom. So I'm so glad we got to just record that conversation because sometimes I have a conversation with her, I'm like, oh, I should have recorded that because we talked about so much. So I'm glad that we were able to record that and you were able to be a part of it. Sitting with us on my couch, hearing the grandmother wisdom. So juicy, so sacred, so beautiful. So be sure to head over to her website in my elements.com to do one of her reviews, retreats, teacher trainings. Highly recommend it. Tell her I sent you. I just love her and I want to support what she's doing in the world. And if you want to learn more about using sexual energy to tap into your abundance, your pleasure, your juiciness, head over to my program, sex money magic program.com, and I will be able to share these gifts with you. If you loved this episode, I would love if you could leave me a review in the itunes store. And as a free gift, I will share with you the first half of my unreleased release book Eat Right for your Mind body type, simply email a screenshot of your review over to Saharaetfieldfresh.com again Sahara S A H A R aatfeelfresh.com and I will send you over the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your mind body type. Thank you and Namaste Ra.