315: Why You Shouldn't Always Think Positively with Sahara Rose

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. And before we get started, I'd love to share with you this special offer. Are you that person that all your friends and family members come to when they need wellness advice? Are you constantly looking up new ways to heal and balance your mind, body and spirit, including listening to this podcast? Well, have you ever considered having a career becoming a holistic health coach where you get to decide your own hours, work with people, tackling the subjects that you are the most passionate about and having financial freedom along the way? Well, I am so excited to be teaming up with my very own alma mater, Institute for Integration Creative Nutrition to offer their biggest discount yet. You'll receive $2,250 off tuition, an extra bonus that they're offering just with my Highest Self Podcast listeners on how to launch your dream book. This course is going to get you super clear on what your book is about and how to bring it out into the world. I've created a webinar for you on how to have a thriving business as a health coach. So using social media, creating passive income, how to have a wait list of clients and become the best known coach in your niche with raving testimonials, tick to a live upcoming IIN conference where I will be meeting you over there. Super excited to connect and a bundle of all digital wellness guides like Ayurveda Self Love, Whole Food Eating etc so all you have to do is head over to my show notes. You'll see the link over there. It's a little bitly link. It'll take you right there. You'll be able to receive a sample class, check out the curriculum, get all your questions answered and I'm so excited to have you on this mission with raising the vibration of the planet together as a health coach. Again. Head over to my show notes. You'll see the link right there and I'll see you inside. I invite you to just stop for one second right now and breathe. Let's together just take a deep breath in and exhale it out. Sighing anything you're holding on to, shaking it off. And one more time, deep breath in and exhale it all out. And last time just releasing anything you're holding onto inside out. The energy has been big. I feel like I've been saying this all of 2020, but that's because it has been. So I'm giving you full permission right now to just feel it all. If it feels like you've been putting out one fire after the next, maybe that is because you have been. Breathe. So we've all been moving through many decisions right now. Huge decisions that we're making. Decision about where we're going to live, about our careers, about our relationships, about our identities, how we're going to move forward. These are big decisions that will change the entire trajectory of our lives. And it's normal to feel overwhelmed by the immensity of it all. And it's normal to have fears, concerns and anxieties that come up. So I want to give you full permission to know that you don't always have to think positively. We see this so much in the quote, unquote manifestation space. Think positive. So positive things show up in your life. And while I do agree that when you think positively, you see better outcomes and make better decisions, I also believe that sometimes our fears, concerns and anxieties are warning signs for us of something that is underlying it. So what I have found is that there are two useful threads that you can actually find if you go into whatever it is that you were fearful, anxious or concerned about. Now, those two threads are one, something that it is healing, and two, something that you can take action on. So I'll share two examples from my own life that have showed up for me this year. So the first one, which is something that ended up being healing, was when coronavirus kicked off. As I've shared on this podcast, my mom and my brother had it early March when we didn't really know much about it. And I was very afraid for my dad, who is 69 years old, diabetic, kidney stones, all sorts of health issues. Right? So he seemed to be that target demographic that if he were to get coronavirus, based off what the media was telling me, that he would potentially die. So I was very scared of losing him. And I would try to not think about it. You know, it's going to be fine. He's going to live. It's going to be fine. But do I really know that? No. So I'm just kind of telling myself, putting on this band aid of everything's going to be fine. Even though truly, even if I try to think as positively as possible, would that affect him and his life and his karma and his decisions? No. So I had to get honest with myself of what is underneath this fear. You know, the fear of death, which I did a podcast on called Overcoming the Fear of Coronavirus. So when I went into this fear, why am I afraid of losing Him? Well, it's attachment to his physical body. Why am I attached to his physical body? Well, it's because deep down inside, I feel like we didn't have the relationship that I wish we would have had. Okay, well, why is that? Had to do with the fact that he wasn't totally there in my childhood, which, underneath that, had to do with the fact that he never had a father to be there for him. Underneath that, it's the fact that in the entire lineage in Middle Eastern culture, it's not that fathers are, like, driving you to soccer practice. Like, this is a very new Western thing that I grew up with, but no one else in my lineage did. I'm the first person born in the US So I was setting an expectation for this relationship with my father that was not the cultural norm, especially at that time. So when I saw that, I ended up having compassion for it and understanding where it came from. And then my anger towards him dissolved. And then my sadness of, well, if he were to die, then I would have left with this, you know, a bit of anger there that dissolved too. So by going into my fear, my fear of losing my father, I ended up doing all of this deep healing that was from my childhood, from my ancestry, from my lineage. And now that fear is no longer there, but also our relationship is so much better. So from going into that fear, rather than ignoring it, rather than try to positively think about it and put a band aid on it, I was able to do some deep, deep, deep healing. That way more impacted the trajectory of my life than if I just tried to think positive and ignore it and ignored the underlying issue of why I was so fearful. So the second example I want to share with you is the awareness of something you could take action on. So many people right now are, especially in. In my community, are moving. People are getting hits to kind of set the grid in different locations on the planet. And it is very overwhelming of, you know, all of these ideas that we have of what we want this new place to look like. We want to grow our own food, we want to be close to water. We want spiritual conscious community near us and all of these different concerns. And on top of that, you know, I'm married and some other people are in relationships, and sometimes you and your partner don't want the same thing. So you might be super down to move to Bali tomorrow, but your partner might not be. And then on top of that, the border's not even open, so that's not even a possibility. So there has been a lot of of scattering of that. So for me, of trying to understand, okay, where am I going to live? And also the awareness of. In my ancestral lineage from the healing, immigration created a bit of a scar there. The fear of not being safe where you're going to live, fear of having to migrate because something bad is going to happen to your country. That's the reason both. Why both of my parents left and my mom as a refugee. So that fear was inside of me. It was. It was in my ancestry, which creates, you know, a bit of a. A shift in your DNA. So instead of ignoring, okay, I'm super afraid of my safety right now, Instead of ignoring that and being like, everything's gonna be fine. I'm all good. I'll just stay right here, exactly where I am, and keep doing my life and like, kind of ignore the fires around me, ignore what's happening in the news, ignore what's happening with. With everything I'm gonna actually go into. What is it that would make me feel safe? So for me, it was the ability to grow my own food, the ability to swim in the ocean. That's to me, like such a big stress reliever in my life somewhere that I would, you know, let's say we all have to stay put for the next year and we can't travel at all. Somewhere that I would like the climate, I would like the winter there, you know, I had all of these things of things that I would really need. So by being able to go into that, I was able to take action. Action on choosing where I would live and then action on things that might not even happen. For example, you know, I don't know what's going to happen, but I'm choosing to grow my own food just because that makes me feel, you know, that makes me feel safe in any ways. I like to grow my own food. So by going into the fear, I was able to actually set up all of these things in my life that make me feel more safe and supportive, more so than if I just said the mantra, I am safe, I am safe, and ignored the underlying fear that was present. So instead of negative emotions or negative thoughts, I want you to think of them as uncomfortable, unmet, or potential needs. Okay, so they are unmet or potential needs. So an unmet need might be. For example, let's say you are feeling a lot of anxiety around, I don't know how I'm going to homeschool my kids this year. Like, this is crazy. I can't work. They're needing me on Zoom. I feel like I'm a tutor all the time. This is too much. So there's, instead of ignoring that and being like, you know what, I should just be grateful that I have my kids here. Yes, you should definitely be grateful. And there's an unmet need. The need is to be feel more supported. So maybe you have a group of moms that take turns that one day the mom is the tutor for a couple of the kids or you set up something with your partner or your mother or your mother in law or something to help you feel more supported in this area of your life. Because if you ignore it, well, that, that unmet need is not going to go away. In fact, it's going to continue to grow and grow and grow. And then the resentment will build. The fear of not being supported and not being met will be there. And these are how our shadow shadows indefinitely grow. And this is why this is, you know, called shadow work. Because these shadows are these emotions and these thoughts that we have in the shadows and the corners of our minds that are unmet. So that's an unmet need. And then a potential need is for example, this idea that I want to grow my own food. You know, again, I don't know if I'm gonna ever have to live off of this food. I certainly hope not because I really am not don't have the best green thumb. But it's a potential need that for some people that helps us feel like if anything were to happen at least I got my tomatoes, I got my cucumbers, I got some herbs, I got to make a salad and live off of that, you know. So it's a potential need and for some people that helps them feel safe. For some people, they want to know that they have cash on hand. For some people, they like to know that they have a passport from another country. It's going to look very different for every single person. Some people like to have earthquake kits. That doesn't mean that you're manifesting an earthquake happening. That doesn't mean that you're hoping an earthquake happens. But that means that there's a potential need that could be there. And you knowing that that earthquake kit is there helps you feel more safe. So therefore those negative thoughts are no longer present because even in the worst case scenario, you know that you will be the best prepared possible. So this, by the way, can go into many different trajectories too. This is not saying think about all of the worst case scenarios and plan for those. Because at the end of the day, we can't we can't control everything and we just don't know. And that could take us into, you know, the doomsday prepping and all of that, which is just an unhealthy way to live. However, if there's something that's continuing to show up for you, the invitation is to look into what that is rather than to bypass and ignore it. So sometimes it leads to change, it leads to taking action, it leads to healing. And sometimes you actually find yourself exactly back at the decision that you already made. But this time you have more clarity towards it. So both are extremely helpful for understanding that the path that you are on is optimal for you. So, for example, example, let's say you are thinking of moving to Colorado. And you know, you're, you're thinking about it, you found a place, you're excited for it, but you're, you're kind of having these, these thoughts of maybe this is not the right place. Maybe I want to be closer to my family, maybe this, maybe that. So instead of ignoring it and being like, you know what, I should just, I should just go. I don't know how long I have. I should just go. I should just go. Well, that's going to make you make a hasty decision and then eventually that fear that's causing you to even question it in the first place is going to show up for you in a, in a larger way. So you might go into, okay, what are all my fears? Okay, I'm not close to my mom, I'm not close to the ocean. Whatever it is for you with that decision. And you might go through it and still realize that it still is the best decision based off of the options and circumstances that you are in. You know, maybe you, you find a way of like, okay, well, I know that I'm probably going to feel far away from my family when I'm there. So I'm going to make sure that twice year we meet up in Arizona, or I'm going to make sure that we from the very beginning have like really great communication or whatever it is. Instead of ignoring that fear, you're finding a solution for it. So maybe that decision is still the same, but you're able to help, you know, kind of coat around it to make it feel in your highest alignment. So if we ignore these concerns, they're gonna keep showing up for us and when we go into them, they actually help us. We actually find our way through them and then they're no longer issues for us. So in my examples, that issue I had around, around my dad the issue I had around moving, it's no longer an issue for me because I've thought my way through it. Now, this does require you to have clarity of mind. This is extremely important. If you are in an anxious, you know, overwhelmed, chaotic state, you're not going to be able to think your way through it and see it clearly and see the options and possibilities for you because you're so emotionally overcharged at this time. So this is why. Practices meditation, breath work, exercising, walks, listening to podcasts like this, reading spiritual books, just lying down on the floor, plants, animals, all of these things are essential because they give you more clarity of mind. Even just taking a pause, like we did at the beginning of this podcast, to sit down and breathe and exhale. You know, I. I love the practice of shaking, just to shake your body and to release any stagnant energy that you're holding on to. I know for me, I've been doing more intense cardio exercises, jumping jacks, burpees, because I felt like I've had this, like a bit of. Of anxious, extra fire energy on me that hasn't been needed to be released. And then once I'm able to put out that fire within, I'm able to put out the fire without which are the fires, perceived fires in my life and surroundings. So this is your invitation to first get into that place of clarity and then to, in a safe way, go into what that fear, that negative thought is and see your way through. And then, of course, if you're seeing that this is actually a big mountain, a big mountain of healing, etc, find a professional. I did Family Constellation. I did some sessions to do some work around my dad, which was extremely helpful. Maybe you see a therapist, maybe you see a shaman, a breathwork teacher, whatever that might look like for you. But sometimes these, these underlying fears are really the tip of the iceberg and there's this bigger issue underneath it. And that doesn't mean that you should run away from it, but that means that, thank God that it's showing up for you in this way so you can do that healing work, see your way through. And then that iceberg really just becomes ice cream. Just thought of that right now. That's funny. But let that iceberg become ice cream, you know, like, because then it's. It's no longer this big scary thing that's gonna, like, sink your Titanic. It's. It's delicious, it's part of you. And then it's not intimidating anymore. The cold and the frigidity of it is actually Your own sense of. Of taste. It's your own sense of. Of yumminess. And you see, oh, yeah, I was. I was born into that. I did have that childhood. I did have that fear, and I've overcome it. And now it's. Now it's ice cream. So I really feel like we're all moving through so much right now. And if we're able to really find clarity of mind, see our way through it, not bypass, not run away, we're going to be able to really make these shifts in our lives that are going to bring us to more truth, more clarity, more dharma, more purpose, more joy, more fun, more freedom, more expression. All the things that our soul is seeking are really just on the other side of the things that we are the most afraid of. So this is your invitation. This week, right now, right after this, write down, maybe it's one thing, like, one thing that has been showing up for you recently. A fear, a concern and anxiety. And, like, look at it as if you were looking at a friend's issue or you were a. A psychologist or a therapist or something for someone else. And, like, kind of try to take out the emotionality of it all and just sort of list out, okay, here's the fear. Okay, Maybe under it you're like, where does this come from? And then under it, you write a couple other categories. Okay, it comes from here. And it comes from here. And comes from here. And then you're right, okay, here are some pot. Potential solutions. Sometimes it does take looking at things from a bit of this, like, more analytical perspective, because from there, we're able to see things a bit more clearly. And then our heart can look at the options available for us and be like, this feels like home. So it's always this balance. It's this balance between the heart and the third eye, of. Of using your intuition, but also feeling through it. So right now, a lot of us are in that, like, shadow of the emotions, of just like. Like the. The complete overwhelm. So let yourself have that balance of. Okay, bring it into the third eye. Be a little bit more seeing it from this higher bird's eye perspective. And then feel into it. Bring in that kapha energy of, okay, this. Now that I know everything, I know everything is out on the table. All my fears and concerns. Just like, if you were to get married or something, you would write down, okay, well, here are some of my concerns in this relationship. And then once you're able to see your way through it, you can step forward, forward and say, even though I know everything that I'm afraid of. I'm stepping forward. Whereas if you ignored it and like, oh my God, I love you and everything's perfect, well, those marriages end up not working because you didn't look at what was. You know, those fears that you have, even if you're in denial of it. It's those pings, it's those little things that you're like, oh, but what about this? What about that? And that doesn't mean that you're not grateful. You're a bad person. That means there's something there. And sometimes, like I said, going through that something there might lead you to the same decision that you originally made. However, you must go through it so you can feel clear, you can feel sure, you can feel authentic. I know everything that's on the table and I'm still moving forward. So I hope this is helpful for you at this time. Let me know if these, like, solo casts of me just sort of like channeling what the collective needs is helpful for you. Share this on your Instagram I'm going to be doing some giveaways of my new journal, a Yogic path reflective journal, which I'm super excited about. It has all of my personal morning and nightly practices from scheduling your days with the Doshas, menstrual cycle tracking and how it's related to the Doshas moon cycles, Intentions, Gratitude affirmations. Each month is themed with a different card from my my Oracle card deck, a yoga path. So we got Goddesses, Karma, Dharma, Kriya, like so many beautiful topics with with journal prompts and Oracle spreads. And it's super easy. Like, it just takes five minutes a day to fill everything out. And trust me, when you start start checking in with yourself on a morning and nightly basis, everything like this becomes so much more clear to you. So I'm going to be giving away three copies. All you got to do is share this podcast, share maybe three takeaways or what you took out of this episode, how it's helped you. This is how we spread the word. I really believe that right now, this is the time that we are each becoming our own. Our own TV stations, our own media, our own everything. And we get to share more positive media out there in the world than negative because there's enough of the people sharing the negative and we need more people. Okay, here's how you can take what's happening in the world and see your way through. So you never know who it can help. So please share it on your Instagram stories. Tag me at I am Sahara Rose to Win a Journal and I'm so excited to meet you in my membership Community Rose Gold Goddesses. The link for that is in the show notes. Thank you for incarnating on the planet at the same time as me. It's a wild ride but we chose this time for a reason and I trust that we will see the new Earth in this lifetime. If you loved this episode I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of released book Eat Right for your Mind Body type. This is a different book than Eat Feel Fresh, my first book ever which is not released anywhere and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my podcast in the itunes store. So all you got to do is head over to itunes where you may be listening to this podcast and leave a review. Take a screenshot that you've left it and email it over to me@saharaatfieldfresh.com again that's Sahara S A H A R A@eatfeelfresh.com and I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your mind body type which goes all into Ayurveda, doshas, plant based nutrition, body types, all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for free for supporting the podcast. Every single review I personally read, it really helps the podcast be listened to by more people so we can raise the vibration of the planet together and I am soul grateful grateful to have you on this journey. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you on the next episode. Namaste.