316: How To Be Spiritually Sassy with Sah D’Simone

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. How are you feeling in this shift? This is the time to take your dharma seriously, to go out there and co create your reality. This is the time to notice where the pings, these subtleties, these whispers are taking you and take action towards that direction because the person that you are becoming right now is the person that you are meant to be in the new paradigm. I can't express this enough. I've been sharing it in Rose Gold Goddesses and this month's Goddess Ichel Circle. But this is the rising of the divine feminine. This is the time that we are connecting to our internal womb wisdom and realizing that our house of intuition for the feminine body is in our wombs. This our powerhouse. And when we can connect to our womb magic and listen to the guidance that she is giving us, then we become unstoppable. We, we are able to create things that we never would have imagined possible. And this is all of our birthrights. So I am feeling it. I am feeling so many changes. I am feeling so many new beginnings. I spent most of this month in August in Mexico, in Tulum in the Yucatan Peninsula, in. It was so healing for my heart. I realized just how much time I was spending on social media and my email and working and, you know, while that's great for nurturing my masculine side and my business and all of the things, it caused me to ignore this, like, other side of me that just wants to swim and play and, you know, I took this beautiful flower petal bath. I stayed at this incredible hotel called Banyan Tree Mayakoba. And you literally have your own villa there. Everyone has their own villa with a pool, jacuzzi. So you. We didn't even see anyone that entire week. So it's super Covid safe. Everything they delivered to the room. But one of the highlights for me was I did this flower bath and I was playing with the flower petals, like the same way that I would play with like my toys, like my rubber ducks when I was taking a bath as a child and I stayed in there forever hours and I came out with these flowers at my feet. And this came to me of living your life like there are flowers at your feet. Like, what would your life look like if each step you took there were flowers at your feet? Just the divinity and the sacredness of that, of living your life like an offering to the divine, living each day with purpose. You Know, it allows us to see everything with such greater intentionality from, you know, why am I sending this email, why am I listening to this podcast, why am I eating this meal, why am I doing this and setting an intention for it. It just creates such a beautiful, energetic container and living your life like you were walking on flowers. So that has been something I've been really sitting with and you know, for myself and this transition, I am really stepping into my inner Dakini, my temple dancer, my shakti, the part of me that, you know, just wants to dance and let my body be the mudra, let my body be the work of art and without any purpose for it, then the simple pleasure and offering of being. So that is something that I am playing with right now. And I invite you to step into whatever archetype that is coming forth and also take that time off social media, off the news, off all of the externalities that are keeping us extremely in a fear based state right now and take that time for yourself. Whether it's an at home retreat, whether you go to Mexico, whether you go camping or you know, just hang out at home and give yourself like a full day. Maybe do an ayurvedic retreat for yourself at home. I have a whole kitchery cleanse on how to do that. But giving yourself the oil massages and making yourself delicious meals is treating yourself like you have flowers at your feet, living your life from that state. So that is my little offering for you and I'm super excited for today's episode because it is with one of my dearest friends, Sa De Simone, who I have known for four years now, though I feel like I've known him for many lifetimes because I have and you may have seen him on my Instagram. We're always doing funny TikTok videos together and having so much fun. He's like a soul brother of mine and I'm super excited because his new book Spiritually Sassy, which I helped him name, just came out this week and he really is an embodiment of someone who has deep awareness and study on specifically Tantric Buddhism. He's been on this podcast before. He's an expert guest in Rose Gold Goddesses and, you know, so aware of the human mind and the human condition and why we have these thoughts and where do these shadow aspects such as, you know, depression, anxiety, sadness, where does that come from? And looking at it from the mind. But also he is extremely, you know, flamboyant and full of energy and light and love and you know, he is a gay man and really lets that be a part of his identity. And in this episode he shares how that was not always the case. How he actually came from a background of drug addiction and suicidal ideation and complete loss of touch with his sense of purpose. And then coming into spirituality and then feeling like, okay, I have to be really strict, I have to only wear white, I have to do this, I have to do that. That's what being spiritual looks like. And losing his sassiness, losing his spunk, losing his zest of life and then coming back and integrating it all together and realizing that he can be loud and fashionable and dance and just his bold Brazilian self and be very spiritual, very disciplined in his meditation and very knowledgeable. So he really just embodies both being it all. And that's what we're all about. That's what the path of the Goddess is all about. Embodying the different aspects of ourselves. And that's not just for women, that is for men, that is for non gender people. It's for everyone. We all have different aspects of ourselves. So when we let our whether you call it spiritually sassy or your highest self, or your goddess, your divine feminine or whoever it is, let it come out and don't stop shining your light because the world needs it. So this episode is going to spice up your life. It's going to make you want to rock your diverse uniqueness, the things that make you stand out. It's going to make you want to lead with them. So without further ado, let's welcome Sada Simone to the Highest Self Podcast. And before we get started, I have an announcement for you. Are you that person that all your friends and family members come to when they need wellness advice? Are you constantly looking up new ways to heal and balance your mind, body and spirit, including listening to this podcast? Well, have you ever considered having a career becoming a holistic health coach where you get to decide your own hours, work with people, tackling the subjects that you are the most passionate about and having financial freedom along the way? Well, I'm so excited to be teaming up with my very own alma mater Institute for Integrative Nutrition to offer their biggest discount yet. You'll receive $2,250 off tuition, an extra bonus that they're offering just with my high self podcast listeners on how to launch your dream book. This course is going to get you super clear on what your book is about and how to bring it out into the world. I've created a webinar for you on how to have a thriving business as a health coach so using social media, creating passive income, how to have a wait list of clients and become the best known coach in your niche with raving testimonials, Tickets to a live upcoming IIN conference where I will be meeting you over there. Super excited to connect and a bundle of all digital wellness guides like Ayurveda self Love, whole food, eating, etc. So all you have to do is head over to my show notes. You'll see the link over there. It's a little bitly link. It'll take you right there. You'll be able to receive a sample class, check out the curriculum, get all your questions answered and I'm sorry. So excited to have you on this mission. Raising the vibration of the planet together as a health coach. Again, head over to my show notes. You'll see the link right there and I'll see you inside. Are you ready to reconnect with your joy? That vibration of living in alignment with your heart where you are fueled with passion to fulfill your dharma, your soul's purpose? Well, if so that I invite you to join us in Rose Gold Goddesses because this month we are diving deep into the energy of Lemuria, the ancient civilization based off of living a life of alignment with your true joy. In this two hour workshop we dive deep into what the Lemurian frequency is all about. Connecting with the mermaid and dolphin energy. Why we need community more than ever and plenty of practices, rituals, journal prompts and so much more so you can feel finally make 2020 the year that you feel vibrant, radiant and full of passion to actually create what you were meant to do here on this planet and live your truth. Well. If this is resonating with you, then come join us in Rose Gold Goddesses. You are going to love this Lemuria Circle and the eleven other goddess circles we have done. You have access to all of them as soon as you join us in Rose Gold Goddesses. On top of that you you will be able to do my healing and embodiment through dance workshop. This is a three and a half hour workshop with spoken and actual follow along dance prompts you could do to connect to the healing energy of dance, to embody yourself, to release trauma and step into your most embodied authentic version. We also have my Awaken your powers masterclass with Shaman Durick, my Sex Money Magic program with Alexandra Roxo and dozens of other workshops available for you as soon as soon as you join us in this community with 2000 other spiritual soul sisters all committed to living the life of joy, truth, fun, radiance and dharma. This is all available for you in Rose Gold Goddesses, my membership community, and I am so excited to invite you inside. You can find more information atrosegold goddesses.com the link is in the show notes. And I can't wait to meet you. Welcome, Saad, to the Highest Self podcast. It's so great to have you back.

Oh, my goodness.

Hi.

So good to be back.

Yes. So the first question I'd love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?

What makes me my highest self? Good question. Good way to land a variety of things. Dance, meditation, breath, mantra, community, good food, Anything that nourishes the mind, you know, that helps me to, like, drop into the heart space, to the spiritual heart, to the awakened heart. And in the Buddhist philosophy called the Buddha nature, the highest self would be. The translation will be like the Buddha nature. So anything that helps me to activate that part of me that's already fully.

Awakened, I love that and agree with all the things. And I consider you like my soul twin brother from a past life because we, we have so much in common. And I have been so loving just witnessing the evolution of spiritually sassy into what it is today, this movement that is really being birthed. And I just so resonate with it. So can you tell us what does it mean to be spiritually sassy?

Yes, thank you for that question. So it's twofold, right? So first, the movement in itself, it started with me being tired of having to, like, drag my throne into all these tables. And I'm talking about, you know, these spiritual tables where in these communities, ashrams, monasteries, dharma centers, even high up in the Himalayas. And really, you know, dragging my throne to these tables and then feeling like I didn't have. I didn't have room at that table. I wasn't welcomed, I wasn't accepted, celebrated, or cared for, you know? So the spiritually sassy movement started with me saying this. I'm going to create my own table. In this table, everyone is being told, you're too much, you're too queer, too flamboyant, too black, too brown, too, too anything. This is your table. You're not only this is your table, but here you're celebrated. Here you're adored. Here you are literally the path forward. And then, of course, the spiritually sassy table and community and movement that we're creating, it's not only for these people being called too, too, too, too much, but it's for everybody who's always wanted to be self expressed, who've never been. You know, I had really loving parents. Regardless. My parents didn't accept my queerness. They always helped me to, you know, be expressed, you know, with creativity, with how I dressed, with places I went. They were always like supporting me to be at my edge, learn something new. Right? So the spiritually sassy movement is a, is a home for everybody who hasn't had a home in a spiritual place. And you know, I trace back the story, many stories in regards to this. Like being at a Dharma center in Bodh Gaya, which is like the city where the historical Buddha became enlightened. It's the Bodhi tree is there. And then bringing four friends from New York with me, including my sister, to this teaching where the Dalai Lama was giving this initiation, this manjustri initiation. It's the wisdom archetype initiation. And just the way we were received because two of us are outwardly, you know, expressed as queer people. And we are, you know, fashionable and loud and, and you know, we're just recognizing that the spiritual path is about play, is about light heartedness, it's about laughing more, you know, playing more. So we are, we were experiencing this really outwardly humiliation from people at this place, you know, so that happened. That was a big one. It's in the book. And then another. I mean, I've had, I have multiple experiences like that. Being at a retreat center at a monastery with 250 people and being one out of five people who are, I can count on my fingers the amount of black, brown or queer bodies there, you know, so the, the spiritually sassy movement is a home for all those who never felt like they belonged in a spiritual path, in the wellness spaces that have been so, you know, prevalent white and CIS and heteronormative. So this is a place where we're saying, if that's what spirituality is all about, you know, this spirituality is for everybody else, also welcoming everybody. You know, it's a place for all people, but it really is a home for those who were in the fringe, who were the misfits and the weirdos and the freaks. Like, this is your home. You know, when we are celebrating your freak nature and your fringiness and your queerness and your extraness as a path to freedom. You know, we're using that for you to become free. We're, you know, reflecting back to you that that is your super sauce, that is your secret sauce, that's your unique, you know, that will support you to go to the next level. And it happened between, you know, living between India, Nepal, and then having these, these trips down to Bali and then looking at some of the vows that I had to take while living at monasteries in ashrams. And one of the vows is, no dancing, no listening to music, no this, no that, no this, no that. And I lived by them and it worked for a while. But then I noticed that what spiritually sassy is, is it aff you to this zombie Zen, to this forced seriousness that people have imposed on you, saying that this is what spirituality looks like, look like this, do this, walk like that, eat this, don't do too much of that. Don't you do this, girl. Don't you go there. And I said, you know what? If my intention is aligned with my heart to use, if my intention is aligned with my highest self, within my language, with our Buddha nature, with the spiritual heart, then I am to dance, then I am to laugh, then I am to go to this place, then I am to be at a bamboo tree house, you know, at the yoga barn in Bali, dance with another 200 strangers and sweating and turning ourselves in, these beautiful, you know, sensual creatures where we are dancing for our freedom, where we are pouring our anger into the dance floor. So the spiritually sassy movement, it's come from me, like having had this, you know, conditioned view that spirituality, being someone on a spiritual path had to look like this. And then traversing my going my way down to Bali and then coming back to India and then finding new teachers and then sitting with these high, high, high lamas, these big, big, big radical awakened saints, and noticing the foundation of the talk, the baseline of the talk. If you stripped away the words, what was left was joy, what was left was a smile. It wasn't a forced seriousness. It wasn't this like zombie Zen. It wasn't this push down spirituality. It was like the field was equalized. It was like we're all like humor and joy and giggle is like a foundation that equalize the playing field for us all to learn equally. So that's kind of like the direction of it that like a spiritually sassy as a movement. And then being spiritually sassy is recognizing that we all have a unique way of conveying the Brahma Viharas. The Brahma Viharas, the four qualities that live in our heart according to historical Buddha, which is love, compassion, wisdom and joy. And if you're a spiritual nerd and you look it up, the Brahmaviharas, a few of these Words are a little changed. Because I'm not gonna say equanimity. I rather call it wisdom. You know, I'm not gonna say sympathetic joy. I'm gonna call it joy. I'm not gonna say loving kindness. I'm gonna say love, and I'm not gonna say great compassion. It's gonna call it compassion. So that's what the literature says. But essentially, it's like being spiritually sassed is you recognize that you have these innate qualities. They're not circumstantial, they're unconditional. And then being spiritually sassy is you finding your own unique way of conveying these four qualities into the world in your own unique, creative way, which for me is. And same for you is teaching is guidance, delivering these big concepts and these, you know, this map to healing through a sassy, relatable, playful way. So everybody has their own way, you know, of. But we are so conditioned to look at how Sahar is doing, look how Sa's doing, look how this person's doing. And instead of looking, looking at what we're doing and thinking, oh, they're taking away from my path. They're taking away from my potential. It's not. We're just reminding you what you already know that you can do. So being spiritually sassy is like, oh, look at this pathway that they're walking towards the peak of Everest. But I don't need to walk the same path. I can carve my own way. But the goal, you know, the landing point will be the same. It would just be this joyful, playful experience where your purpose is awakening these four qualities, but it's helping to support the awakening of others. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. And so resonant. I would definitely come sit at that table. And I think that so many listeners, you know, resonate with. I think a lot of us before we got into quote, unquote, spirituality, we were a bit more playful and expressed. You know, it's interesting how we come to spirituality to become more ourselves, but we oftentimes associate, especially at the beginning, lose ourselves, right? Like, why were so many people attracted to going to the club or going to the rave or going somewhere? Because that was the place that you could be your most full self. However, maybe you were taking ecstasy pills to do it or, or. Or cocaine or whatever else. I know you have your own story around all of that, around all of that, but it was you looking for that same thing, but because you didn't know how to directly access it in yourself, you thought it requires A substance, substance, etc, and then everything gets misconstrued in that it also requires me acting a certain way, being a certain way, but really it's just looking for joy, it's looking for embodiment, it's looking for presence. And then when we become spiritual, we're like, oh my God, I was so messed up those days. I would go out and I would dance until the middle of night and I would just like laugh and eat pizza all night. What was wrong with me? It was so trashy. I was so stupid. But there was actually a purity in them that, you know, there was purity in the. In the release and letting go and the play. However, if we can just take out all of the. The substances that didn't need to be there, from the pizza to the drugs to the alcohol, and leave that purity still there. That's what spiritually is really all about. And I feel like that's what spiritually sassy is really bringing to the world. You don't have to be so serious. In our TikTok videos, we that are coming out soon are definitely going to be talking about that. So what do you suggest for someone who's maybe like newer to spirituality and they are, they're trying to get out of their shadows. They're trying to get out of their triggers so they feel like if they're still like as flamboyant or going out, they'll fall back into those old patterns. When. When can they get to the point where they can like live that spiritually sassy life and not fall back into them?

That's a really good question, I think. First things first, when you're starting your. Your spiritual path is to take a step spiritual inventory. What are the habits that you have? They're developing your neurosis. What are the habits that you have? They're developing your best qualities, you know, if you have the habit of dancing, you know, because, you know, let's develop your best qualities now. You have the habit of dancing while intoxicated, drunk and high. Then you know that that habit could be pieced apart. You could keep the dance without the drugs and the alcohol. It goes back to what you're saying. So it really is about looking at every single thing, you know, that what are the things that you. And looking at people placed in things like really treating your wanting to be free, your spiritual path, why you're joining the spiritual path. Because we have to recognize that us as humans, we are addicted to suffering, you know, and this addiction to suffering. Why? It's because we are so familiar with negative emotions, with destructive emotion, with destructive thinking patterns. So the spiritually sassy path is recognize that, oh shit, I might be addicted to suffering. I call the misery blanket. You know, we're under the misery blank because it's comfortable. And a lot of people are afraid of taking the leap to doing something totally unknown, which is to be in their joys, to be in their love, and to, you know, develop their wisdom, develop their compassion and do things that will set them free. So it requires you to take inventory. Recognize that we're addicted to suffering. That's just like a baseline because, you know, negative emotions are as seductive and as intoxicating as alcohol, as drugs, as a cigarette, you know, so we always have to like take this stance, say I'm going to join, I'm going to go on a spiritually assassin. I'm just going to go on a spiritual journey, period. You have to take inventory, you know, of what are the people placing things that are supporting neurosis, that are supporting your addiction to suffering. You have to take a step back. You know, the only time you ever hear me say the word protection is at the very beginning of your journey. You do need to take a step back. You know, it was me living in India, it was you living in India, it was us removing ourselves from the place that we had sort of co created trauma and you know, regurgitated our traumas over and over again. So it's taking ourselves out of there. And the protection comes just from the very, very beginning where you're, you're just rebuilding yourself and then everything outside of that. If you're trying to protect yourself once you've already taken inventory and once you're ready to start your spiritual journey, then you are spiritually bypassing the transformation.

So I want to talk more about that because protection is such a big word everyone's talking about. I need energetic protection, psychic protection. I'm an empath. I hold on to things. I need to protect myself. Spill the tea.

Oh my God. I mean, look, I feel like when people say I'm an empath, it's literally saying I'm half of a human, I'm only half whole. You know, it's big for people to hear that because empath, it's only taking one step towards compassion. And so it's only like you walk halfway to heaven, you know, because the other half, it's too scary. It's not for me. I'm not capable. But the end goal of being an empath is for you to have genuine compassion. So if you're being empathetic but not compassionate, you've missed the plot of the spiritual path, you know, so if you're just going around saying, I'm an empath, I can't go to this space. I can't go around these people. I can't do this. You're using this word protection, and you're using this word empath to bypass your growth, to spiritually bypass your potential. Does that make sense?

Absolutely.

So it's you saying, I'm an empath. It's. It's you. And I know this is very edgy and, and to hear for a lot of people, but I stand full force with that. Because the end of the day, being hypersensitive, it's only. We're using our sensitivity. To do what? To awaken our best qualities. We're not using our sensitivities to stay closed off and stay in contraction, stay in protection, stay in our. No, we have to use our ability to be hypersensitive to be able to support our freedoms and the freedom of others. And then there's another side to that, too, which is even more edgy. It's like if you are picking up on somebody else's thoughts, feelings, and emotions how an empath would. And it lingers. If there's a psychological residue after you've picked up on somebody, then that lingering, that residue, it means that you have stuff to work out. Don't you go saying, that's Kevin's stuff, that's their stuff. I've just, you know, it's like, don't stop putting the blame out there. Turn all blame into one. Look inside. You know, if you go into a room in a place and you've picked up on negative energy and that's kind of lingering around for you, it's because you have guilt to work out, because you have shame to work out, because you have, you know, all the textures of suffering to work out. And that's okay, but stop putting your blame out there. You know, look inside. So don't use the label empath because you're limiting. If you're saying I'm an empath, you're saying my essence is limited, and that's difficult for people to hear. Does that make sense, though?

Absolutely. And I think when people call themselves an empath, what they're realizing is how interconnected we all are. They're realizing for the first time that when I do go to this bar, I feel heavy after, when I do meet with this friend, I don't feel super lit up. After the conversation, which is great to become more cognizant of, like how subtleties affect you. However, it's not the friend and it's not the bar. It's the first of all, it's the fact that you keep going back there. I think that's, that's the first thing to look at. And then how do I build up my own, you know, energetic body to be able to handle these different environments in these different places? Because the goal is not. So you're in a box, you're in a vacuum, as you say in your book, by yourself.

That's right.

The goal is to be so immersed in you that you can be in any condition, any situation. You know, people ask me all the time, how do you go to these music festivals with Stephen? So low energy, the people are all on drugs. Like, how do you do it? And I'm not on any drug. I drink green juice and I'm like, I love it. Because we're all singing and dancing. It doesn't matter to me what they're on because I'm doing it too. And I'm in mine. And there's no trigger of like, oh my God, should I take drugs? Because they're training it. Because that's, that's completely not fair for me. However, if maybe I was at the beginning when I would still drink or something and there was temptation. If you're an alcoholic or something like that, then that's when that, you know, protection is needed. So I think it's like a beautiful maybe phrase to hold on to for a moment in time and then you grow past it.

That's right. And that grow past it is the most important thing. You know, if anything is sticking around, it's. You have work to do. Because the, the awakened mind, the awakened heart, it's. The mind becomes non sticky, it just slides by, you know what I mean? And what arises if you are working towards your, your, your spiritual development, when you pick up on somebody else's, when you see somebody else suffering and you feel their suffering, instead of you dwelling on their suffering, closing off and being in a state of confusion, what arises is wisdom. What arises is compassion. What arises depends on perfect antidote. But we are so often so unaware of how crumbly and crunchy we are inside that someone else is suffering. We turn our blind eye on. I don't want to be around that person. I don't want this thing. Because it's going to trigger your confusion, it's going to trigger your anger. But guess what? Boo. It's all stuff that you got to work on, honey. So that's. At the end of the day, it comes out to that. But you notice that you are awakening. Once you can be with somebody else's pain and suffering, and then what arises in you is a deep. A deep sense of suffering and pain for their experience. But the next. The very next breath, it's the antidote. You know exactly how to support them. It might just be with presence. It might be the perfect words. It might be the perfect gesture. You just know. It's that. That knowing that arises. So when you are progressing on that path and in a spiritually sassy book, it's, you know, the. Nothing is linear on the spiritual path. But in the spiritual sassy, my new book, there's eight steps that are going to guide you on this journey where you're gonna release these fixed identities that you have for yourself, that you're gonna let go of these limiting beliefs. And you're gonna recognize that every time you. You overly identify with the label, you're limiting your essence. You're limiting. Every time you say, I am depressed, I am anxious, I am angry, I am this, I am that, you're limiting your ability to recognize that your essence is unlimited, that your Buddha nature is. We're talking about something that has no words for, you know.

So I want to talk to you about mental health, because I know that is a big issue that you talk about, but it's a different philosophy and it's a different way of seeing the world. Very different than Tantric Buddhism, you know. So what we are seeing happening a lot with this rise of awareness of mental health is this awareness. What is anxiety? What is depression? What is this? What is that? But also the labeling.

That's right.

I'm an anxious person, I'm a depressed person, or I've had this trauma and not realizing that depression, anxiety, and trauma exist in every single person. We all have it to some level.

That's right.

So how do we. Especially with your, like, deep studying of, like, psychology and that more clinical path, but also your deep spiritual awareness. How do we address these things without then labeling ourselves as, I'm a depressant person, I'm an anxious person, I'm a person with trauma.

Incredible question is such a necessary question. Thank you for that. I think it's, you know, I say this often. Awareness is only the first step. You know, if you're aware that you're crunchy, that's great. If you're aware that your mental tendencies are to be more Depressed, more anxious, more this, more that. It's awareness is only the first step, but what do you do with it? You know? And oftentimes we have to pay attention. If we're just talking to our support system. And is this support system, it could be a variety of different things. Could be your best friend, could be your sister, could be your mom, could be your therapist, could be your coach, could be your. Your spiritual teacher, whatever. If the sounding board that you're working with, are they just showing you what you already know? I'm in pain, I am depressed, I am crunchy, I am anxious. If they're just helping you to say, see what you already innately know, intuitively know, then find somebody else, honey, okay? Because what they have to help you do is help you see what you already know, and then they have to help you out of that place. In a variety of different practices, I work with a small group of private students. These people have come to me who've had multiple suicidal attempts, who have been on multiple different kinds of medications for depression, anxiety, a variety of different things. And doing our work together sometimes takes a year and a half, sometimes takes six months. But it's. If you're relying on somebody else to unlock your healing, you've missed the plot, you know? So when we are working with the sounding board, when you're working with a support system, they have to say, honey, you know what the key looks like, and the key lives inside of you. Now go unlock it. I can only point you in the direction of that, you know. So when we're looking at mental health and spirituality and like, how these two fields are one of the same, it's like looking at mental health and psychology. It's like awareness. But then what, what do I do next? And you have to have a support team who's supporting you to telling you to. To drink more water, to dance more, to laugh more. They're asking you, when was the last time you were dancing? Last time you're laughing, Last time you read a novel, the last time you meditated, or guiding you on these concentration practices where you're not overly identified with the pain and suffering that's passing your internal life and your external life and guiding you towards the path of freedom. So that's one way of looking at it. Holistic healing towards mental health is one, one thing to talk about. Second, the other side of that, which is super important, is overly identification. I'm seeing a lot of young people posting on their bios saying, I'm depressed, anxious, this, and this and this and that. And I'm like, my love, honey, like, whoa, girl, take a breath, baby. That's a passing wave. That's a part of you. So one thing I speak to in the book, it's like, instead of you saying, I am this, say, a part of me is depressed, A part of me is anxious. A part of me is experiencing this guilt or this remorse or this rejection. A part of me is this. It's not the whole of who I am, you know. Does that answer your question?

Yes, and I think that it is. I'm. I'm sure a lot of people listening are like, I don't have that person to go to who's my reflection. I don't have someone who's like, you know, they might have a friend. But I. I see. What often happens is, let's say you are in a depression, depressive or anxious state. Maybe you're not able to hold space for other people. So it's very hard for you to have a friendship because, you know, we've all had friends, friends that maybe it felt like you were their coach, but it didn't feel like an equal friendship. And then eventually that person who's playing the more space holder role, if it's like that forever, that's no longer a friendship anymore. So I'm seeing what is hard for these people is because they're often not in a space to be able to get, offer that support to someone else, they're not able to maintain the friendships. And now when it comes to hiring a coach, I'm seeing a lot of scarcity stuff around, well, I can't hire someone or I can't, like, pay for a membership. I can't do this. I can't. So let's say you are in that place that you're like, I feel like I have no one, nothing. Who do I go to for support?

Your breath. Your breath. The breath is a pathway to freedom. The breath is your pathway to the present moment. The present moment is the only place that you are able to make peace with your past and not catastrophize the future. It's the only place where you're going to be able to notice the depression creeping in and you notice the anxiety, saying, hey, girl. And it's only in the now that you're going to be able to greet these extremes with ease, with harmony, without stickiness, without the tight grip. So relearning how to breathe is your way forward. You know, if you don't have the financial support to hire somebody, start by relearning how to breathe. Every single chapter in this new book, there's a breathing technique for a reason. Because relearning how to breathe was how I healed my suicidal ideation. The suicidal ideation was visiting me. Literally every few thoughts was like, what's the point? Just go do this jump. It was like a very, like the texture of it was so, oh my God. Just feeling into it, It's a terrible feeling. It was breath work, you know, it's intentional breathing. And a simple thing you can do is, is you know, take a deep breath in and then have a super long exhale, deep, really long exhale. That's the foundation of you, an ordinary person who's breathing an anxious breath or depressed breath. It's clavicular, it's shallow, it's very much up here. So what we're, what we're doing with this healing breath is guiding people to turn on the parasympathetic division of the nervous system, the self healing mechanisms, you know, so the breath is your way out. Then go dance, literally. Put on some music, put on a sexy look, you know, something that makes you feel sexy. And dance. Sit down to meditate after you've breathed, after you've danced. Don't you sit down to meditate. And this is, I'm, you know, I'm telling you as someone who teaches this all over the world, you know, don't you sit down to meditate when you are in a state of depression, when you are in a completely anxious place? Move your body, breathe the body, then concentrate the mind. So breathe, dance, activate the fire, the sweat. And then you sit down to concentrate the mind. Rest all the energy of the mind on a mantra. And the mantra might be, you know, here and then now I am safe here and then now I am safe breathing in here and then now out. I am safe breathing. You know, you could just like attach a mantra to the rhythm of the breath, you know, whatever variation of that, or just rest all the energy of the mind on the feeling of the breath itself. And then your job is to just notice if your attention has been pulled away into far, far away stories, into the future of the past, and just come back to the mantra. And every time you come back to the breath or the mantra or variation of that or one or the other, preferably you are. Miracles are taking place inside of you. You're decreasing the parts of your brain that are stimulating you to react to stress instead of respond to stress. So stuff like that. And then stop eating cracked sugar. I can't Say this enough. You know, this, I mean, you speak to this. You've been a guiding force for me to learn how to eat in a way that healing. So turn your relationship to food as a spiritual practice. There's no difference. There's no mundane world or professional world or personal world. And the spiritual world, it's not everything is spiritual, you know, so if you spiritualize your relationship to your body, to the way you eat, you look at your friends and look at everything you're ingesting. If you're watching movies, they're constantly horror movies, or people are killing each other and it's really terrible stuff. What do you think your mind is being built on, honey? If you're listening to really shitty music all day, every day, what do you think your mind is being built on? We take things for granted. We believe that the mind is not documenting everything. Sorry, but the mind is documenting everything. Nothing goes unseen, you know, so stuff like that foundation.

Because I see so many people right now who are in such a fear based place with all these theories that we like to, you know, talk about and joke about. But then it's like, how does that affect you in your day to day life and your decisions? And it takes you away from your dharma, it takes you away from your joy, it takes you away from your breath, it takes you. You know, I noticed in myself of trying to keep up with all of these theories in the news and what's true and what's not. My breath was going crazy and I was like, this feels like a panic attack about to happen. And I am just, I'm in my home, I am completely safe. But my mind thinks I'm not because it's in other people's projections. So that's why I think that getting off social media sometimes is just the best thing that you can do. Because it's like we have enough of our own stuff to heal. But then on social media, if you're not in that place, you're getting exposed to everyone else's. Because when someone is scared, they have this feeling that they need to tell everyone, you know, there might be a werewolf over there. So you start screaming. So it's a lot of like the man who cried Wolf. And then if you're in this place of like a little bit of unease and then you pick up, oh my God, there might be a wolf. And then it's like, that's just social media in 2020 right now.

All of a sudden there's a shadow and the shadow has become a wolf. You know, like literally our mind, under fear, catastrophizes and sees the worst when it's just like a little young kid playing in the corner and their. Their shadow has shown you a werewolf. You know, it's really bizarre how far out we fabricate when we create our own nightmares, you know, for everyone listening, always remember these. These few things about your thoughts. Thoughts can't hurt you. Thoughts think themselves without any help from you. And stop giving a reaction to every thought. If you keep these three things as foundational truth for you to hear, your. Your relationship to your mind. Honey, you're good. You're gonna recognize that when those depressive thoughts, you know, creep in. Hagar, you know, like wanting to take over your mind, you're able to take a deep breath in and recognize thoughts can't hurt me. I don't need to give a reaction to those thoughts. You know, not every single thought requires a reaction. And these thoughts, I think, themselves without any help from me. If you're able to approach with this awareness and all the things we're doing with the spiritual work and all the things we're doing, it really, it's helping us to step out of the theater into the beautiful couch that we're sitting here on. And we're looking at what I call it in the book, the reactivity circus, right? We're looking at. Because Buddhist psychology says the feelings arise first and then thoughts populate the feeling, claim the feeling, give the feeling, solid nature and essential nature, and then we react. When we are doing these spiritual practices, we're stepping out of the play and we're looking at all this feeling, this buzzing feeling in my stomach. Ooh. It doesn't mean that I'm. It doesn't mean that it's this kind of thought. And that kind of thought requires this kind of reaction, no witness for what it is. It's a thought, It's a feeling. Okay? Stop attaching solid meaning to every single thing. It's this. This essentialist view that we have. The only thing that has essential nature is your heart, is your higher self, is the God that lives within you. Honey, everything else is a projection of your mind. Stop attaching meaning to things that don't require any meaning. You know, it's just a transient empty in nature, you know, and it's far out for people to recognize this. But scientific research also shows what the mystics have been talking about for thousands of years. Emotions, good or bad, last in the body for 90 seconds. Everything outside of that, past that 90 seconds is a story that you're telling yourself either to hold on to that feeling or to run away from it. All this stuff only lands where we can be. You know, you can be intellectualizing everything we're telling you, but it's only gonna make sense once you are applying the work and you're actualizing this into the heart field. Next time you have a negative emotion arising in your body, be with the feeling. Drop the story. Be with the feeling. Laser, focus your attention on where the feeling lives in the body and do your best effort to disassociate from the story. Because oftentimes we have certain kinds of feelings and we have hardwired stores attached to them. So drop the story. Be with the feeling. With the gentle breath in and out, you're gonna be able to hold that feeling. And slowly, slowly, it's gonna move out of your system. Boom, you're free. What happened? Oh, shit. Okay. That is where he lives. Stuff like that.

So beautiful. And I think that where we get caught, I know for myself, is when you go into negative or anxious thoughts, you think, well, if I don't think this through, there could be a potential threat, so I need to think it through to find the solution to prevent myself from, you know, getting hurt. So do you recommend having a time or place to go into, like, this worst case scenario that you're thinking of to, like, have your potential, like, way through it or just not even entertaining it at all?

We have to look at like, you know, in the book I speak about the four tracks of karma. You have to recognize that if you're and the four tracks are karma, I'll share them later. But if you. One of the tracks, one of the ways that the consequence of your past actions manifest as who you are right now. If your overarching mental tendencies is to always go to worst case scenarios, then you know that that's not your pathway. And you know that you're just repeating the old patterns of catastrophizing, then that's not your way out. Another way to think about this is if you think that there's only one way of doing something, that's when you've lost the plot. Because we have visionary tendencies, we have a creative genius at the base of our being. Creative genius. What is that? It's looking at life, looking at problems, looking at challenges. Not as bad, but as an opportunity to exercise our best qualities and for you to exercise your best qualities. You have this holistic view of everything. It's a bird's eye view of your challenges. You're not, you Know immediately front facing with like, oh, this challenge is bad because it's bad. Then it's this and this and that. You have to just notice your tendencies, you know, if your mental tendency is to go to that place, pause, breathe, that's not where solutions live, you know, so that's one way to think about it. I'm a firm believer that, like this, thinking through things is never the way. You know, I think that connecting to the breath in the present, being in the now, you know, because when you're engaging with the thinking mind, oftentimes it will guide you. Unless your mind is very, already completely like, unless you've, what we say is, unless you've cultivated a lot of merit, a lot of good deeds with your, with your body, speech and mind. It's a little bit of Buddhist jargon here, so stay with me for a second. Unless you've cultivated enough good deeds, unless you've done enough good things in your life, your mind will naturally go to the negative. Because we have this negativity bias. Science shows that we have this wired to seek threats, wired to seek out negativity. So unless you have done a lot of work to retrain your mind, if you're going a direction, you're, you're thinking, you can think your way out of your problems. That's not the way out. And I say this, I'm about to post a video. Later today, a lot of people are replaying the past in their mind, hoping to find a different outcome. Boo. Stop. Stop playing the future in your mind, hoping for the way you're thinking your way through. This is gonna happen. It's not that. If you want to call in what you want, you need an intentional practice writing or a conceptual meditation where you first connect to the present moment, then you dream up the best case scenario.

We'll take a quick break so I can give a shout out to our sponsors. So a couple years ago, I had the worst digestive issues, adrenal fatigue. I felt so tired during the day and then wired at night. And it wasn't until someone recommended me to take magnesium that my entire life shifted. I could sleep better, I felt better, and I was able to actually digest food. So since then, I have gone totally geeked out on understanding the best types of magnesium. And I actually found out that it's important to get all seven forms of magnesium for your body to truly function. And most of us just from getting it in our diet are getting one to max two forms. This is why I recommend buy optimizers Magnesium breakthrough Taking this magnesium before sleep helps you relax and wake up feeling refreshed and energized. I've really noticed the deep sleep benefits on my aura ring. I also love that Buy Optimizers offers free shipping on select orders plus a 365 day money back guarantee on all of their products. You can get 10% off magnesium breakthrough, the best aid I know for sleep@buyoptimizers.com Sahara that's B I O P T I m I z s.com Sahara and you can find that link in the show notes. A lot of us, us don't feel comfortable going to supermarkets right now and cafes are closed, which means we aren't picking up green juices or even buying fresh produce as often. But right now it is more important than ever before to keep our immune systems high, especially with greens and superfoods. I've been drinking organifi green every single day and it's been a goddess send. It contains immune boosting ingredients like moringa, chlorella, spirulina, wheatgrass, ashwagandha, turmeric, lemon, mint and so much more. It takes only one minute to add into my water. And I feel so good knowing that at least I got my greens in for that day, which frankly I may not have had otherwise. I've also sent it to my family members to keep them healthy at this time too. You can receive 20 off your Organifi at organ organifi.com using coupon code SAHARA. Again, that's Organifi O R G A n I f I.com using coupon code SAHARA. And that link is in the show notes. Like for example, in therapy, modern day therapy, right? You talk about this, this trauma happened in my life and you keep going back to it and you do have like a different understanding of it. But what you're saying is you're not going to have that different understanding when you're, when your body, when your, your energetic self is the same. Because you're just going to keep coming up to the same conclusions and the same blame and the same thing. You have to change the fabric of who you are. And then when you go back to it, you're coming with this like higher lens perspective.

That's right. And we have to. I'm so glad you brought this up because this is iconic and legendary, such a necessary topic because a lot of people are working on their trauma, on their, on that specific pain point with this way, like they're laser focused on that one specific thing. Yes, do that. And if you're not treating the woman at the supermarket with compassion and kindness and tenderness. If you're not treating your uber drive with compassion, tenderness and care. If you're not treating your partner, your mother, your friend, your doorman, the person who's cleaning your house, whoever, every single person who's in the tapestry of your life, if you're not treating them with tenderness and care and sweetness, and you're not exercising your best qualities in every single aspect of your life, but you're being super tender and careful and then sweet and kind to that when you are in the therapy session and only your partner gets the kindness, everybody else gets the residue of that pain, the over spill of that pain. Right. Does that make sense?

Absolutely.

So unless you are completely recognizing that we are connected, this big tapestry, that your states of mind matter, that your words matter, do your actions matter, your relationship to that pain always be limited because of how limiting you are in developing your best qualities in every area of your life. I hope this lends for you. Because the only way for you to transform your internal world is by you. And there's a saying, and this is in the more, in the more Zen tradition, the way do one thing is how you do everything, you know. And for me, how I got into the spiritual path is because I had no idea how to forgive. The lack of forgiveness led me into low lows of depression, led me into addiction, led me into the highs of anxiety, and led me into contemplated suicide. So I'm not saying I mastered forgiveness by no means, but I've mastered a way of being kinder to myself, a way of being kinder to other people. You know, even when I am flared up and my system's crunchy and I want to like punch in the face or punch my stuff like that, there is the natural next thing that arises. It's like kindness. Breathe, you know, it's the antidote. Arises in my mind more fully now because I'm applying, I was actively bringing forgiveness to every area of my life. So if you are struggling with your inability to forgive this one person, think about all the other people in your life that you're still holding grudges. Think about you doing the mini work of all the mini grudges and thinking about all the mini work, how it's going to start, support that, you know. So you have to think about like that everything is interdependent. Nothing is, is one thing on, on its own, that if you are wanting to hear your trauma, bring tender care to this other person, to the strangers, to the homeless, person. Oftentimes you see people running over a homeless person on the street because they're trying to get to their yoga class. It's like, boo, you've missed the plot. The purpose of the yoga class is that you can be a better human to that person on the street, you know, so it's just the spiritually sassy path. It will feel uncomfortable sometimes because I'm asking you to walk on the edge. Because I know of your potential. Because I know of what lives at the base of our being. You know, it's everyone listening, like, honey, it's like you have incredible potential. So thinking about it like that, you know, like working in this direction towards your trauma, towards your healing and that one specific thing. But think about how every other area of your life, how are you? Who are you? What are you doing? You know? And the, the key word is to always hold. Always hold in the forefront of your mind. This person experiences suffering just like I do. This person has the potential to be free of suffering and to be happy just like I do. Wow. That will help you to enter the world as a completely new person and everyone on a spiritual path. Stop being intoxicated with your self care practices. If you're being intoxicated with your self care practice, you're not showing up as a better human out in the world with your eyes open. Then you miss the plot. Then you just found another addiction. Sorry, honey. You know, that's the truth. The purpose of the spiritual path is that we're better global citizens. Boom. It's that symbol. Being spiritually sassy is being a better global citizen, you know, while looking amazing, while smelling amazing, while doing amazing things, you know, serving in the most fabulous way. I always think of that, that oftentimes it's like that Naomi Campbell where she's doing like work and she's doing service, community service. But she's showing up in this like silver gown and high heels, you know, and she's like cleaning the streets. It's not literally, but metaphorically. I want you to think like that. I want you to think of yourself as, you know, how could I match my internal awakening with my external? How I feel, match how I look? And how could that be how I show up in the world? Does that make sense?

Absolutely. I know for myself, I used to, when I was in my 18, 19, I would dress up and wear the heels and all of these things. And then I got spiritual and it became the baggy pants. Baggy pants and a braid for years. And like, no, like, you know, and I typically still don't really wear makeup, but it was just a very staunch difference. And now I do notice, like, energetically, even before you came over, I was just wearing my like, you know, whatever, like, very at home thing. I'm like, I'm gonna put on a little black dress instead because I just knew you always show up in such a beautiful, embodied way of a walking piece of art. And it's inspiring for me to be around, and I'm sure it's inspiring for you to embody, but you're also speaking about such, like, deep subject matters. And I think we've never really held that duality in our minds of like, being able to be both being able to look good and be of service. And I think also we're so fear of judgment of others that people won't take me seriously. People won't think I really care if I like, show up trying to look good. And then the other thing with that, such and the other thing with that, on the topic of like, haters too, I know a lot of people are feeling fearful of showing up fully, you know, embodied spiritually sassy. Saying what they, they really want to say because they're so nervous about people saying, you're doing it wrong. You're not following tradition. You're, this is not the way that it's supposed to be done. How can we, how can we move past that?

Well, I think the question is, is multifold in regards to tradition? I have to be honest with everybody listening. Writing this book and being published with like my dream publisher was a big deal because not a lot, but some of my teachers that I went out to be like, hey, I internalized this concept in this way. What do you think about that? I think it's very applicable to the modern world. Oh, no, you have to follow tradition. It has to be X, Y and Z X, Y, la la, like that. It's like, no, that doesn't fit the world that I'm living in. So following tradition to a degree. Following tradition, paying homage to the radical saints, the Mahasiddhas, the radical saints who've come before us, paying homage to them constantly and actualizing the wisdom in the world that we live in today, you know, so it's important to think about it like that. In regards to haters, honey, somebody else's hate is a complete reflection of their mind. And that's just what it is. Someone's mind is built on their past actions. So if someone has hate, it's because they've done hateful things. They've experienced hate and, or they've done hateful things. It's kind of that black and white, you know, like if someone is spilling out really hateful things onto you, it really has to do with the quality of their own mind, you know. That doesn't mean that you can't receive criticism. That doesn't mean that you can't be reflective about how you're showing up in the world. Your presence communicates louder than words. You know, Remember that scientific research shows that our presence, that communication is 90% non verbal. So can your presence communicate beauty? Can your presence communicate compassion, ease, relaxation? Most importantly of all, can your presence communicate safety? You always communicate safety to me. That's why every time I come over, every time we're talking, we can always go from hey girl and we immediately there, there is never this like fluff between you and I. It's always like boom. Because you communicate safety. The way you look at me, literally non verbally, it's just like hey girl, you're safe immediately. And that's what you bring. That's how I bring. So think about like your, the quality of your presence work and everyone who's working on becoming a mental health activist, anyone in the mental health field, people ask me all the time, what should I bring to my patients, to my clients? Your presence, your presence. You can help them intellectualize their healing, but you're going to help them to actualize their healing with the quality of your presence, you know, so it's very radical. Think about it like that. And then on the other side of it is like when you are an embodied safety zone, when you're an embodied creative zone, what happens? And you're walking down the street, you are a permission slip for everybody else. You're literally walking around sliding permission slips into everyone's mind beautifully just by how you walk. There's a dream. It's so contradicting and funny in a way because. Because we're doing everything we can to wake up. But once you are awake, the way you carry yourself in the world, there's a dreamlike quality to you. So spiritually sassy is going to guide you into becoming an embodied permission slip where you are walking to anywhere and everybody feels safe to let their hair down to be who they are really at the base of their being. Does that make sense?

Yes. And it's having that it's factor to you, right? That the energy is felt and you walk into the room in that person's presence. It doesn't mean that they're overbearing doesn't mean that they're the loudest or even the best dressed or anything like that. But it's a. It's a subtle presence. And I think that that's what a lot of people are struggling to find within themselves. They might listen. Oh, Saw, you're so special. You know, you just have this energy to you. I wasn't born with that thing. So what do you recommend for someone? Yeah, for someone who feels like there's nothing special or different or unique about them.

But first things first, what you see in me or in Sahara, the joy, the inspiration, whatever, what you're able to see is because you have in you first things first. Right? So. Oh, sa. You. You're. You're so inspiring. You're so happy. Oh, my God. Guess what, my love, what you're seeing in me, it's the seeds of inspiration, of creativity, of happiness that lives at the base of your being. I am only a little bit of a fertilizer. I'm just a little bit of sunlight, a little bit of water to the seed that lives at the base of your being. But what you do need to become is a spiritual gardener, a master spiritual garden of your own mind. It goes back to what I said at the beginning of the podcast. What are you doing every day to develop your best qualities? What are you doing every day to get rid of your neurosis? What are you doing every day to free yourself from our relationship to pain? What are you doing every single day? You know, that's putting you on that path and then recognizing that. The whole purpose of the game, honey, in my view, is for you to recognize that we have these four qualities at the base of our being. And then recognizing, like, what is my own unique way of conveying love, compassion, wisdom and joy back into the world? It doesn't need to be as loud as me. It doesn't need to be as powerfully twerking Sahara version of it. You have your own secret sauce. It's about you doing a practice of self reflection and figuring out what it is for you. Where does your joy live and what brings you joy and what brings you joy that helps other people. Once you figure these two things out, that is where the communication between where your joy lives and with that joy helps other people. That thread is what's going to point you in the direction of your purpose. That thread is going to point you in the direction of your superpowers. That is what's going to point you in a direction of your secret sauce. It's not going to look as loud as flamboyant like me or twerking epic ceremonial queen goddess like Sahara, it's going to look different. And it might be, as I've said before, and I say it in the book, you might be, you know, making food, you might be making jewelry, you might be making Excel sheets, you might be whatever. It's just if you're doing from that place of, you know, that awake filled nature, when you're doing from the higher self to use your language, and you're doing from that place that's, you know, connecting to that depth that lives at the base of your being, whatever you do from that place, it will help other people. Whoever's seeing that, it's gonna be like, oh, boom. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. And I know what some people are thinking is like, well, what if I want mine to be more louder, flamboyant? Or what if I want mine to be like goddess twerkalicious or whatever else? And it's like, like even that desire to want, it means it's in you because you don't want something that is outside of you. Otherwise it wouldn't call to you. It's just like, you know, a race car driver, like, that's so great that they're race car drivers. No part of me wants to do that, you know, but if there was a part of me of like, I wish I was born with that dharma, well, then it is part of my dharma because that desire is there. So I think it's like, we spend so much time and what we talked about on our last podcast is like, we often think that spirituality or especially Buddhism is about not listening to your desires, not having in your desires, detaching yourself from your desires. But we're inviting you to look at your desires as like breadcrumbs that are taking you towards your dharma, taking you towards your truth. And the fact that even the desire to be happier, to be more creative, express bold, the fact that that desire is there, that's that first step, you know, and then once you keep following that, it guides itself. And the other thing that I want to share is like, for someone like me who my whole life was about being of service, being of. Of service, I would take anything and be like, how can I be of service? Okay, I'll go do that. And I wasn't really asking myself the joy. It was about the service, you know, and now, you know, even the way that I'm of service is in such a way that was not even in my periphery because I see it as such joy, even like dance. Right? Like, I would probably. I always like to dance. But I saw that as a very just like, self thing. Right. But it's like when you're on a dance floor and you see someone, like, breaking it down, they're not even actively being of service. They're not like teaching you a direct teaching at that moment. But in a way they are because you're seeing them in their joy, and that is service. So, so many.

Say it loud for the people in the back, honey.

Yeah. So it's like how it can help others doesn't have to be in such a direct way. You know, Picasso wasn't waking up in the morning, how can I help the most number of people? But in a way, he. He actually did help the most number of people that he could have by focusing on his joy.

That's right. That's right. It really comes down to that. It's like, I love that you brought this up because the way we all serve the world doesn't need to be the same way. You know, it's the most important thing.

Is for a way of suffering.

Exactly.

I used to think, oh, if I suffer the most, and that's me being the most of service. Because I would read, you know, Mother Teresa and Gandhi and oh, they died for it. Oh, that's the ultimate being of service.

You know, we're living in a very different world. You know, there's so many ways that people are so, you know, wrapped up in suffering mindsets and states of mind that are so deteriorating, so destructive that you showing up in a supermarket, like a vision in full presence, you know, deeply present is you. You already impacting the tapestry that we're all connected to. And this leads me to another thing. When I was talking about, you know, helping with healing trauma, mental health, anything, it's like, stop multitasking. Stop it. I know you. You maybe even listen to this podcast. Why are you, like, eating your food or taking a shower or driving? Try to for once listen to this podcast while you're sitting or you're laying down, doing one thing only, or if every single thing else that you're doing in your life is with presence, you're brushing your teeth, you're cooking, you're cleaning, you're doing all these things with, like, combination complete intentionality and complete grace. And then you are driving to work and listening to this podcast. But multitasking in itself is creating imbalance in the mind and disease in the body. So what happens is you're re triggering a sense of not being safe. And when you don't feel safe, what comes climbing into your mind? All of the past worries, all the fearful thoughts of all the fears about the future. So if you are doing, focus on feeling safe. Focus on doing things that are gonna bring you safety, internal safety, not external safety. Because the work of the spiritual path is for you to feel safe in the face of danger, in the face of chaos. It's the radical shift that happens, you know, where problems are no longer bad. You know, that's when you know they're progressing. So it's that stop multitasking. Multitasking is creating this wobbly crunchiness inside of you. And this wobbly crunchiness is re. Triggering your traumas. It's, you know, painting more layers of, you know, trauma on top of the trauma. So landing at this place of safety within you requires presence. And when you. I'm speaking about this because a lot of people go grocery shopping, and I'm guilty of that, too, of going grocery shopping, facetiming somebody, or listening to a phone call or talk. You know, like, try to do as many things in your life with this, like, fierce attention. And then, you know, maybe do need to be cooking a meal while looking over your kids. Maybe you do need to be looking at eating a sandwich while you're on a work call, whatever. But try to do as much in your life of one thing with complete intentionality and grace. Does that make sense?

Absolutely. And, yeah, I think a lot of people then have that fear of, like, well, then I won't be able to do everything that I want to do.

That's the biggest. That's like such a big fluff. You know, I think I can say this to you. And you. You've said this to me already as soon as I came in. You have such a work ethics, big work ethics. And I say this back to you, honey. The reason why people are like, how do you accomplish so much? It's because of the quality of my presence. It's not because I'm multitasking. You know, you may think that I'm working 40, 50, 60 hours a week, but I'm not. You know, it's those glimpses of really deep focus, few hours every single day that most people will accomplish what I'm doing a few hours in a week. That's really what it is. It's because the quality of the mind, the quality of my concentration, the quality of my presence is helping me to do what a lot of people are going to be doing in a much longer period of time. Because they are so distracted. They're going on Instagram, they're going on TikTok, they're going Snapchat, and they're talking to this person. Then they're eating, they're smoking. It's like, girl, that's why you're not getting anything done, you know? But focused attention is the most luxurious thing.

Honey, I 100 agree. And I always am like, I'm talking to Steven, my husband, about this, and I'm like, sometimes I just go into this, like one hour or two hour work thing, and I like, come up with all of these solutions and all of these things, and I'm like, how do I, like, duplicate myself? You know? And it's like. Because there's just such presence there. And I think a lot of people, they just don't show up to life that way. They're. They're just kind of half in, half out and everything. And they wonder, why am I not not happy? Why don't I know my Dharma? Why aren't I getting the same results? Because you're never fully in it. It's like if you want to burn the most amount of calories in your workout, you can't also be FaceTiming your friend or checking your text while you're doing it. You just got to be in it. And all it might take is 20 minutes. It might not take the two hours you're using right now, but are you fully being in it? And I think most of us. And I want to talk to you actually about TikTok and social media because, you know, you got me on TikTok and I love it. But what I notice is it deeply affects the quality of my mind because I'm so. I'm seeing so many short little clips, one after the other, 8 seconds, 10 seconds, all these sounds repeating the same sounds over and over and over again that I get off. And my mind is like. Especially when I first started, it was like chaotic. I couldn't even sleep. It was like I'm a savage. It's like all of the songs just playing and playing and playing. And I'm like, you know, I'm almost 30 year old person. I can't imagine being 14 years old when I'm still formulating my mind on this app though, you know, I'm sure they said that about us because we were on MySpace or whatever. So. And you are very present on social media and on TikTok specifically. So how do we like, balance being on social media and any practices you recommend when you get off social Media to come back to clarity of mind.

It's the same thing I say it's like you brush your teeth every day. You know, it's like, what is your. That's your oral hygiene, but what is your mental health hygiene? What's in your toolkit? You know, in the book, I call it the spiritual fanny pack. What's in your spiritual fanny pack? Is it dance? Is it running? Is it cooking? Is it meditating? You know, is it just laying down on this, on this beautiful rug? Is it just looking at the stars? Like, what do you do? You know, that's, you know, what we say, all the things that will help you to, you know, be comfortable with the silence. You know, that listening to the silence within, like, what are the things that you're doing? They're supporting you to, like, realign, you know, mind, body, heart, what are you doing? And it's like the biggest problem that I see is we're going from one thing to the next. And a lot of people are just not taking time to process things in the. In a skillful way. You know, it's from sitting down to dinner with your partner or your friends, and then to TikTok and then to Netflix and then to the bathroom while you're on the toilet. You're still scrolling. And then you go take a shower and you brush your teeth, and then you're on bed, in bed, and you're still scrolling. If you don't have a time. A mental health hygiene weaved into every single single thing. And that the only way for you to know about mental health hygiene is for you to have mindfulness of your internal world. Like, I say this too. I talk about this in a book so much. It's like, if you don't know what's happening inside of you, you're never going to be able to, like, catch a glimpse of how you can be of service, of your dharma, of anything. Because if you don't have understanding of your internal world, if you don't know, like, what's flaring you up and what's, you know, making wobbly or crunchy or lighting you up and creating internal silence, and, you know, if you don't have this ability to look inside and like, it's observational without evaluation, you know, it's. It's look without the added layers, what's going on inside? Oh, it's unpleasant. Okay. Breathing, breathing, you know, so that's what it takes. It's like looking at how it's impacting you. Does that make sense?

Yeah.

You know, and the biggest problem is that, like, the moment that we feel a little bit of a flare up inside, we go for the ice cream, we go for the drugs, we go for the alcohol. We call a friend and we put on Netflix. We're doing everything we can to distract ourselves from our internal world. That should be the priority. You know, I think a big problem that we have, and I speak to this on chapter, the last chapter, which is the fear of being amazing. And the chapter before that, being your own guru. It's like, prioritize getting to know and developing your internal world. Imagine if you put as much effort into accumulation of external things. Imagine if you put all that effort or as much of. As much as into developing your internal world and to develop your best qualities. What would happen? What would happen? You know, like, legit. It would be insane.

I think it's just we don't see the immediate reward from doing that. Right. Like, we do know, like, mentally. Oh, of course. The more aligned you are with your spiritual soul self, the better your life will be. But what does that look like in practice? Well, that might look like not checking your emails right now, which might look like falling behind in work, which is taking you to the opposite outcome that you want. So instead you're constantly glitching to your emails or. For me, I stay on social media because I have this, like, desire to understand what's happening in culture. So I'm like, I want to know what's happening in culture. I want to know what the Generation Z is saying. I want to know what's happening politically. I want to know what's happening this. But my desire to know is detracting me from actually being of service. If all I'm doing is being so plugged into and spiraling with it. It's like, you can't solve the knot by being in the knot. And you. It takes you being away from it. But then what I see happens is then people just say, I'm off social media for good. I'm off this thing. It's distorted, it's polluted, it's. And then just looking at the negative of it and then. And then missing out on all of the gems and how beautiful it is that we're in this globalized world where we're spreading information and spreading knowledge. So it's like finding your own stance in the storm. And then, like you said, maybe you get off TikTok. Yeah, for me, sometimes I'll lie down or I'll go on a walk. And like, I think, what. Where we get stuck is we just never really get off.

That's the biggest thing. It's like it's looking at all. It's looking at what, like, what's spiking. These, like, feel good neurochemicals constantly, like, what is it? That's like hiking up, you know, all the few good neurochemicals that require something outside of yourself. You know, thinking about it like that, that will help you to ease off your hook and your addiction.

And it's like becoming okay with the fact that you'll never know. You'll never know everything. There's always going to be someone else's opinion you're not going to be aware of or another trend, another movement, another political thing, another spiritual thing, another thing that you're not going to know about. You could devote your entire life to trying to figure it all out, and you never will. So why don't you just decide? I'll let what comes to me comes to me, and that will be what I need to know. Like, I know for you, you just are never checking the news and you're like, sorry, you're my source. Like, whatever you tell me is like, I know that's what I need to know. So in a way, how beautiful, you know? And it's like, even now, I'm not even checking in anymore because I'm like, I will. If I need to know about something, it will find its way to me.

And trusting that, that is a really big thing. I mean, I am getting. Because one of my. One of my teachers, she's spent six years in retreat. She's like one of the people that I check in regularly. She told me to receive a newsletter that gives me like, five things you need to know kind of thing. And outside of her, it's you, you know, feeding me is stuff that. Like this. This important things. But it's trusting, right? It's having. It's having faith that, like, we all have our own unique way of helping the world. And someone asked me the other day, how come you never talk about the movement that's happening? How come you're never talking about the. About any other stuff? I was like, my love, because everyone has a piece of the puzzle. I'm not telling people to go, you know, this is a little. A little bit of a pivot. But I think it's important to talk about spiritually sassy people, you know, creating the movement. In the movement, like, living embodiments of truth and embodiments of radical authenticity. It's like there are people who are telling you to go sign petitions, to go vote, to go protest. And all these things are beautiful and necessary. And my work is to tell you to go inside. You know, I'm a tour guide of the internal world. That's really what I'm here to do. It's like I'm just here to, you know, go inside, honey. Look at your homophobic tendencies, look at your racist thoughts. Look at the ways you're limiting yourself and you're limiting other people. Look in your mind. You know, use your mind to get to know your mind and then pierce all the way through. When you reach that awaken, most awakened state in your case will be this, the higher self in my case will be the Buddha nature or the. The awakened heart. And that is the path. Look inside if you are having homophobic thoughts, if you're having racist thoughts, you're part of the problem, honey. Like, you could be protesting, but you're still seeing black and brown bodies around you. And there's a glimpse of it in the background of your mind that they are not as worthy of you, that they can't be as successful as you. You're part of the problem. You know, stuff like that. If you're seeing a queer body walking by you at the supermarket and there is a layer of judgment that plays out in your mind, you perhaps are not reacting from it. You know, you're not wearing out that dress and you're speaking to it. You know, metaphorically speaking. You know, the old. The dress is the homophobic thought, perhaps, you know, don't get caught up in the metaphor, but just think about it. When the thought passes your mind and do you react to it? If you're not applying an antidote right away, and if you're not, you know, exercise your best qualities in that very moment, then you're being part of the problem. You know, you gotta. You gotta look inside.

And I would say that that's really where the most work is needed. Because the rest of it doesn't mean anything if the thought, if the trigger, if the belief system is still there. Because guess what? You can destroy the system, but another one will be created to repeat that. Because that's all we're doing. We're. You know, it's like thoughts create actions create our reality. And it's like. Like if we don't get to the base root of that, and that base root of that is the hardest place to go because there hasn't been support, there hasn't been access. I mean, we have the most of it. That has been for the past couple thousand of years right now. And already so many people feel unsupported. Imagine when this was like a hundred, a hundred years ago. No one's talking about this in mainstream world 50 years ago, 20 years ago. So we can imagine that if this is so radical today, of course your parents aren't going to understand it, of course your grandparents, it wasn't in their vocabulary. But we right now get to stand bold enough in that this is enough. This is enough for, for me to do. And when more and more of us can see the worthiness of that, that, oh my gosh, thank you for your work in healing, thank you for your work in counseling in plant medicine and whatever it is that you're doing. And then they feel safe enough to continue doing that, then we can have like, like equal amounts of people in all different schools life. But I feel like right now, actually especially so many people listening to this, if you're feeling called to help people with their thoughts, their healing, their inner work, and you feel like it's not enough and you feel like you're not really helping people, like this is the, the work that's actually needed more than ever right now.

I agree, because you can have these incredible laws. But if the people they're living with, these institutional changes, if their minds are sick, it literally, it will, it will erupt all over again. It will play out all over again, you know, and then you're gonna have this like. And remember that the quality of your presence is communicating. So if you're not tending to your mind, if you're not weeding out these races, these homophobic thoughts from your mind, if you're not weeding them out as they arise, you know, then you are again creating, you know, planting the field for more of this to happen in your external life. You know, we have to think about it like that.

Yeah, yeah. Fear of the other will just keep translating to another other.

That's right.

Is it gay people? Is it black people, Is it Middle Eastern people, Is it Hispanic people? You'll keep finding something else to be afraid of until you undergo what that fear is.

That's right.

So this is why we need to be doing this work right now and then also being living embodiments of it too. You know, like someone being friends with somebody who triggers a former belief system of them that was maybe an institutionalized race racism, et cetera. That person just being, you know, like we talk about RuPaul all the time. It's like him just being him is so Radical and transformatory and in a way is like an ultimate act of activism. Because he's saying, here I am as a black, you know, cross dressing, you know, man, who's creating this movement around drag and what it means in our culture today. You could say, oh, he's selfish, but in fact, he's actually creating more change than most people ever will.

That's right. It's such a good way to say. Such a good way to put it. Thank you for that. Beautiful.

Well, so much good stuff. So I would love any final words that you have for someone right now who's maybe struggling with imposter syndrome, of feeling like, you know, who am I to really go out there and live this, like, sassy, embodied life? What words do you have for them?

Stop being selfish. Here's why, honey. And if people are sort of like, taken by when I, when I give this teaching, it's like you holding back from stepping to your purpose, living out your Dharma, because you got caught up in imposter syndrome. You got caught up in your fears, you got caught up in your insecurities. You are doing yourself a disservice, and you're doing a disservice to the world because we need your gifts. We need you to live your Dharma. The more people living their dharma, what's happening, more light is shining in the world. You know, imagine a room that's dark, one person walks into with a candle, another person walks in with a candle. Imagine you have this big auditorium, right? And then, you know, only five people walk in with a candle. How are you going to light up this entire fucking auditorium? You need, if the auditorium fits, 15,000 people, you need all 15,000 people to have a fucking candle on. You know, it's a metaphor to just think about it. But like, when you live in your Dharma, you're lighting is. Is lit, honey. And you know how to stoke that fire. You know how to keep that fire going. But you not living out your Dharma, it's you keeping the light to yourself. It's you saying, no, honey, this light is for me. I'm keeping this to myself. I'm not bringing it out to the world. So imposter syndrome is utterly, extremely selfish, you know, so it's. I know it's edgy to hear, but it's like, please, if you're listening to this, recognize that you are valued and your dreams matter and your voice is needed and you can upcycle your story and turn it into your fierce Dharma.

I love that so much. It just reminds me of this Little light of mine. I'm gonna let it shine. Oh, yeah. And it's like so beautiful and it's really. And I love that, you know that analogy of the auditorium. And also what came to mind is the more and more people light their candles, the more flame there is to share, you know, and then the more those people who haven't let their candle, that there's. There's probably someone right next to them who could light it for them. Where if there's only three out of 1500, it's going to be very hard to even find that person to even get access. It's all these people. Oh my God. How did you get the light? How did you get the light? Or people trying to put down the light? Oh, my God. You're not allowed to have light in here. This is a light free room. But the more you ignite that light in someone else, then they become their own lighthouse and they become their own lighthouse and they become. And then it's unstoppable.

Unstoppable. Literally unstoppable. And I love that. Yes, honey. Unstoppable.

Unstoppable, yes. So where can listeners connect with you, get your book and learn more from you?

Spiritually tested on Amazon and ever books are sold, but we are in a pandemic right now. So I don't know if you're gonna get to your bookstore but support the independent bookstores or go to Amazon, buy the book, leave a review and you can join the spiritually sassy membership or you can connect with me on Instagram or TikTok adesimone.

Yay. Well, thank you so much for being here, boo.

Honey, always so fun.

So cracked out.

This is that good, good crack, honey.

Good, good. Love, love you too.

Thank you.

Mm, mm, mm. I hope you are feeling spiritually sassy. Your highest, fullest, most embodied self. Let it out. Let the world feel you. Let the world see you. Let the world celebrate you. Because you were born with gifts that you were meant to share on this planet. So don't lock them up in the attic of your mind. Let the world see them because that is why you are here and that is how you will be your happiest, most ecstatic self. It is when you share them with the world. So if you loved this episode, come join us in Rose Gold Goddesses because Sa is an expert guest in Rose Gold Goddesses. He led an incredible circle on stepping into our green Tara energy. And what is the difference between white Tara and green Tara? And looking at the goddess from a tantric Buddhist perspective, so be sure to check him out there. And of course, if you get his new book Spiritually Sassy if you loved this episode, I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your Mind Body Type. This is a different book than Eat Feel Fresh, my first book ever which is not released anywhere and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my podcast in the itunes store. So all you gotta do is head over to itunes where you may be listening to this podcast and leave a review, take a screenshot that you've left it and email it over to me@saharaetfeelfresh.com again that's Sahara S A H A R aattfeelfresh.com and I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your Mind Body Type which goes all into Ayurveda, doshas, plant based nutrition, body types, all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for free for supporting the podcast. Every single review I personally read. It really helps the podcast be listened to by more people so we can raise the vibration of the planet together and I am so grateful to have you on this journey. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you on the next episode. Namaste. Touching.