400: How To Choose The Path of Ease While Still Growing and Evolving with Susie Moore

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self Podcast, a place to discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. I'm so excited to share this episode with you because it's about a topic I feel so passionately about, which is the energy of ease. So ease is definitely not a word that was always my core value. In fact, so many of us, when we're in the personal development space, it's all about hard work and growth and sacrifice and keep getting there. And there is some validity to that, that sometimes life doesn't feel easy and sometimes we do have to face our deepest challenges and obstacles in order to grow. However, a mindset shift that I've made over the past few years is to overcome those obstacles through the path of EAs. So in this conversation with my friend and author, Susie Moore, we discuss what it actually looks like to take the path of ease while still growing. So taking the path of ease does not mean you're opting out of life, does not mean you're opting out of difficult conversations, living your soul's purpose, speaking your truth. But it's actually doing those things from a place of joy without having the drama and the stress and all of the hardships that we often add on to things because we're so used to carrying that energy. So many of us, we've lived our entire lives stressed out that we actually don't know what it's like. I mean, see, most people, even when they're on vacation, they're still extremely tense, and it's because that energy of tension is within. So this is such a feel good conversation. We speak about how to overcome adversity and grow while letting it be easy. We talk about our relationships with ease. Why most of us have been told everything must be hard and letting go of our addiction to struggles. So if you're new to this podcast or you've listened to many episodes, I know you're going to love this episode. So without further ado, let's welcome Susie Moore to the Highest Self podcast. And before we get started, I have an announcement for you. Are you ready to finally discover your soul's purpose? The big reason why you are here? Well, I've created a free, free masterclass experience for you where you will discover what your dharma is and how it may be different from your career. How to navigate through having multiple passions, different ways to transition into your dharma, ways to overcome people pleasing and caring what other people think. My number one tool, whether knowing a decision is right for you and journal prompts on the different types of resistance and how they show up for us. All of this is available for you for free in my discover your soul's purpose masterclass. You can can head over to I am Saharrose.com masterclass to join today. Again, that's I am Saharrose.com Masterclass and you can find that link in the show notes. I'm super excited to see you in there.

Welcome, Susie, to the Highest self podcast. It's so great to have you here, Sahara Rose.

Lucky me spending an hour or so with you.

Oh my God, I'm so happy to have you here, especially because we're real life friends and I love getting to know you and I honestly think you're like literally enlightened and I've told you this before and they'll feel the energy. I'm just like, wow, you really have just this natural Buddha nature to you that you have such a profound way of looking through any obstacles and seeing the best and truly letting it be easy. So I'm so excited to chat with you today and the first question I want to ask you is, what, what makes you your highest self?

Oh, wow. What a great question. What a great name for your podcast. No wonder it's so successful. I think that, well, my answer today that comes through for me is I don't lie to myself. That's what makes me my higher self. And I don't believe the lies that come up as thoughts every day. I like to question what comes into my mind, especially if it makes me feel bad. And I really think that's what self help is, stopping lying to ourselves, essentially.

I love that so much. And you are the person who introduced me to this woman we work with who does Byron, Katie, the work. And that was so helpful for me. And it's like, if you just question the thought instead of running away from it, instead of like even overanalyzing it, it's just question it. And then oftentimes it's just you actually can live a life where there's no pestering thoughts. And I didn't know that was possible. And through doing this practice, I'm at this place that I'm like, I don't even need to do more sessions with her because any thought that comes up, I just question it. It's gone, you know, so it's the freedom on the other side of questioning your thoughts.

And I think that most people don't realize that that's available ever. Like, we go through life and we think stress is assumed. It's everything's difficult. Obstacle and look. Obstacles will always be part of life, but obstacles are to be expected constantly. We're meant to suffer. This is just what life is. We never ever think whether or not that's actually real or if there can other way. So even just making that statement, saying, you know, hey, I don't have to believe my thinking, I don't have to believe what's causing me stress, like, that's it. We could end now. Sahara, this was fun. Thanks. But really that there's so much, so much power that we have that we give away because we just take on other people's stress or we see how other people live and we think that this is the only way.

So someone may be listening to this. Like, yeah, I really want to believe that. But easy for you guys to see. You guys are already successful. You guys have books. Like, you guys have it all figured out. I have money problems. I have family problems. I have relationship problems. Like, I have a lot that's really real for me, and I'm worrying about it. So can you share a little bit about your personal background and how you got to where you are?

Yes. And this is actually really the driver for writing this book. Let it be easy. Because I grew up living in domestic abuse shelters. So for anyone who doesn't know what that is. If you are in a family where there's domestic violence, the country that you live in has housing that's shared with other families like yours. If you've been in a shelter, you kind of are familiar with how it all works. It's very different to a regular home. You live with other families, and often you move between shelters based on who can accommodate you, who can't. My family, we grew up on welfare. I went to over. I can't even remember 25 or 30 schools. My sister keeps count. My father died of addiction when I was 19. And I remember when I was kind of in those shelters with the kind of chaos and the constant moving and so much change and everything, really feeling something quite scary, you know, going to myself. Oh, when I grow up and I have, like, a job and I have, you know, a husband and I have my own apartment or home that I live in, everything's going to be just really good, right? Like, it's just going to be so good, and I'm going to, like, I'm going to be able to take care of my mom, and I'm just going to, like, be happy and cool and easy. Right? And then, you know, I worked hard age 30, I had a great career in tech, earning $500,000 a year, got a great husband. And it still wasn't easy. There was other stress. It was hard back then. It was then hard when I kind of got what I thought, everything I needed for my life to be easy. And then I'm like, there has to be something missing here. This can't just be life. Suffering and stress, others suffering different. Stress just looks a little different now. And this is when I just became obsessed with figuring out what is it? What is it that some people have? What is it that some of the great spiritual leaders or whoever you even look up to or admire, what are they doing? What's their secret? And it just really became obvious to me that ease is a skill like any other skill. And you learn it, you practice it, and then it's almost like you can never go back. You can never go back to who you were before. And that's how I feel. I feel like I've really seen life from two very different points of view. And no matter what happens in my life, I'm going to be okay. Because I know this. I know that I can allow ease in wherever I am, whatever my obstacles are. And your life will always have challenges, things that come up for you. But when you have almost like this, let it be easy wisdom or another way of looking at it, you're just significantly better off and you allow a whole lot more to flow to you as well.

Thank you so much for sharing that. And I think someone could, like, look at you from the outside and be like, oh, Susie, she's must have always had it so easy. Like, look at her, she lives in Miami. She's like British and she's so beautiful and blonde and it just must have been so easy. And another thing I'd love for you to share about is your. Your mother's challenges with mental health and how that helped formulate this ease mindset that you have today.

Oh, yes. If anyone has in their family someone who's very erratic, unpredictable, constantly changing. My mum, you know, she grew up in communist Poland. It was Nazi occupied. She had nothing, there was no bathroom. When she was a child, there was a fire because she was not being supervised near their small oven. The fire burnt her face and her arm. She had so much real trauma. We talk about trauma a lot, right? But like the trauma that she experienced having no parental supervision, really having to fend for herself, having to leave communist country to go to England. I look at her with so much compassion. And when I Used to think that she was wrong. I needed to change her. She needed to be normal. She needed to be stable. When I began, like, began to really understand, you know, where she, like, what happened to her and accept her exact. Meet her exactly where she is, it's almost like a new woman came in as my mother, and she didn't change, right? She was exactly as she is. But instead of, like, fighting with her, arguing with her, saying how, you know, out of her mind, she is, and da, da, da, da, you need to be different. When I began to just accept her exactly as she is, and she is, you know, very unique lady, everything just became easier for me. And we have a good relationship. We have a really good relationship. And that's not true necessarily for everyone in my family. I've got, for all four older sisters. But I can tell you that even in a situation where you want more, like, you want more from a parent, you want more stability, you want more safety, you want them to kind of be like other parents, it can actually still be good. Not for everybody, but there is a. There is always an opportunity. There's always an option, if that's what you want. And realizing this, realizing, you know, making peace with my past, even my father, who's passed on, I just feel as if there's so much power that we have. Sahara, like, truly, I feel like my power of my mind is my only thing, like, the only thing that's really important, because then everything else becomes simpler, and I'm not in this place of suffering. So I feel as if, no matter what, like, your situation with your family, your upbringing, there can be another way. And I still think now, even though, you know, I like to let life be easy, I'm open to a whole other new level of ease that I haven't even discovered yet. I feel like this is, like, this is Earth school, right? It's what we're here to do. And what happened in the past also doesn't even create the present. The present moment is always what we're deciding right now.

So beautifully said. And I remember I was chatting with you about families and how sometimes it can be really triggering to go visit your family. And, you know, they might want to watch the news all the time or have these really divisive political conversations. And you shared with me when you visited your mom in England, how she didn't even want to put up the curtains, so you just, like, sat with her in her home with her curtains down and, like, re. Watched the same show. And, like, I think she only eats Cake or sweets or something. Can you share a little bit that. And I was like, wow, like you have. It inspired me the level of just acceptance and your ability to just go with the flow. Whereas. Whereas for me and so many people were like, that's not conscious. Don't watch the news. We try to change and we try to fix. And I really admire your ability to just accept people.

Oh, yes. So it was soon after I moved to Miami. I was actually really excited to wear clothes that I can't wear here because it's so hot. As you know. I remember I just packed a coat packs and pants and I was like, oh, when I go to England, it's going to be nice and cool. That was kind of my, my idea. Then I got to the UK and it was this record breaking heat wave like, and if, if anyone's lived in the uk, you'll know that it's not set up for warm weather, so there's no air conditioning. There is like maybe one fan in one out of ten people's house. So my mom, because, you know, she's older and she refuses to be uncomfortable in the heat. We were at home, curtains drawn. She even put paper in the windows where there was gaps. She stayed home watching television with this tiny little rusty fan like juddering its face between us. I was showing her duolingo on my phone. We just kept drinking tea, putting the kettle on. It was in her apartment. Dark, small, hot. We had a great time. It was not what I expected, but what can you do? What do you have control over in any moment, right? Often not a lot of things, especially in a situation like that, which is unexpected. But isn't it funny how fun is still always an option?

I love that because that can trigger so many people of like, I don't want to be at home and now I'm at home, like doing. I feel like especially when we become more conscious, we become so aware of our time and how important our time is, that for so many of us it's hard to spend our time doing something that we don't want to do. But, you know, I'm assuming you did not want to stay at home in the heat wave with all the curtains down during your trip to England for the week. But. But when you wanted to have a relationship with mom, you know, and that desire was stronger than the desire of it needs to look the way that I want it to look.

Right. And what do you think about it? Isn't fun, joy, happiness the goal of all other goals? Right. When you think I want to go wear my pants and stuff and go to a nice lunch and sit outside, you know, Da da da da da. Why? Because it'll be fun, right? Why do I want to have that relationship or that boat or, like, that dress, Whatever it is, it's because I feel happy. I'll have fun in it. And it's like, what if you just chose that? Like, what if you just skip the middleman requirement and you just go, okay, there's something that I can't change. I'm also with a person who I can't change or convince or persuade. That's true for a lot of parents I know too. So what am I going to do? Like, resist the moment and reject everything. Like, everything that's still available. I love in A Course in Miracles, it says the only thing lacking in any situation is what you're not giving. The only thing lacking is what you're not giving in any situation. I mean, what am I not giving? I'm like, my goal is to see my mom and have fun. So we'll do that. That is what we'll do. It doesn't look like I planned, but, I mean, this even happens. If you go on vacation and it's raining, great. Like, what can you do instead? Make out with your partner? Play Scrabble? Do, like, read a book? Don't you always say you don't have time to read? It's always an option. We just love to abdicate our power all the time and be in this place of, like, things aren't working out. But maybe things are working out just fine. Like, what if it's all just fine?

I feel like so many of us, we want to feel like that so badly. But where, like, I'm lying to myself. If I'm telling myself that I'm having fun, I'm honestly so triggered. Everything that my family or whoever is saying is annoying me. How can we go through this process to actually get to this place where we're enjoying our time doing something that we didn't think we wanted to do?

Yes. So I would just think, okay, the way that the mind works is instantly, like, within, like a millisecond, there's an external situation. We can sometimes call it a stimuli, and then there's an emotion. Right. So it's like someone said something. Something mean, immediate response. I feel bad, I feel hurt, I feel rejected. Right. So that happens so instantly. We always believe that the stimuli is the reason we feel bad. Right. But if that were true, if the stimuli were the reason that we Feel bad. That would mean that every single person in the whole world, in any situation, if they receive that same comment, for example, they would feel the exact same way you do. And that's simply not true, right? So just say someone said to me, hey, you're stupid, right? Or they said to you, hey, you're stupid. Or like, to 300 people, hey, you're stupid. Would mean nothing to me if that person didn't know me, right? That would mean nothing. It could ruin someone else's life. It could make them question how stupid they might be without realizing. So if the comment, if we give the power to the comment or anything external, we're always going to be at the mercy of feeling like any way the wind blows, this very unsteady ground of, I hope things go right for me. I hope things are exactly what I need so I can feel okay. And when you realize that that's just not true, like, the stimuli and your emotion are not connected. It's just what you're making every single thing mean. You become like this dangerously free person where you're like, who cares? This happens. It happens. Really, who cares? It's almost like you bring this sense of humor, lightness, and this is kind of. I know this is somehow why people think, oh, wow, it must be so easy for you, because I laugh a lot, right? And if something happens where someone else would be like, this is terrible. I'd be like, oh, that's a relief. I don't have to do that then. Or, oh, whoops, I broke that. Oh, well, I needed an upgrade of wine glasses anyway, whatever it may be, just knowing, like, knowing that nothing. And it's tricky, right, because with our eyes, we see the world like we see everything on the outside, but everything's happening inside. So I would just say, you know, when something happens or if someone's struggling in a place of, you know, there's this relationship problem I have, and this is causing me pain. A really great question to ask is, you know, okay, this is what I. What I believe about this situation. Someone should treat me better. For example, you can say, what am I making it mean that they're not treating me better? And then it becomes our personal story, right? It's like, I'm not good enough, not interesting enough. I. I don't get any respect because I'm not bright enough, whatever it may be. So often I think if something's causing me stress, pain, suffering, what am I making it mean? What something is happening and what is the facts? Like the stimuli. Easy, right? That's often just something that's really tangible. But what am I making it mean? And then just saying, you know, like, is this necessarily real? I mean, Socrates said an unexamined life isn't worth living. And, and isn't it great to examine then, like, we're not animals. We're not. Like, like, my dog will bark if there's someone at the door. No matter what, I can't say to her, darling, let's think about this. We're on the 74th floor. You can't get up here without security. Like, my dog can't reason with me, right? But as human beings, we're this evolved species. We're so intelligent, we can question everything. And that is where our power lies. And a whole lot of fun and freedom lie too, which for me is definitely the best bond.

So as an example of that, like, walking through it, let's say, you know, we all have these certain triggers that we don't want to hear. For some people, it's like you're fake or you're unconventional or you're toxic positive or whatever the things are. I feel like we all have our certain things that, like, maybe stupid. That one doesn't land for me because I, I know I'm not stupid, but maybe toxic positive is like a big one for me or for someone. I, I don't believe in that term. I did a whole podcast on it. We can, we can talk about it. But. Right, yeah, yeah, let's say that that is one for you. So it obviously means something. There's a deeper story behind that. So let's say my thing was I don't like when people call me fake. So let's say someone's like, I hate Sahara. She's so fake. How can I now question this? Look at this. Maybe look at, is there some truth in this? Like, how much should we be looking at? Is there some truth and how much should we be. No, that's their own projection.

So someone could say, Sahara is a caterpillar. Does that make it real? Like, Sahara is actually a four year old elephant in India. I know, Me too. Words. Woman says words. I mean, this is how I think about it. Just say someone says something mean about me and people have called me toxic positive fake all of the above. Yes. The way that I think about it is, okay, what is happening here? If we slow it down between the comment and my negative, like the negative charge in my body, right? So the feeling of stress or pain, I'll just think, okay. Woman says words. Right? This is a disassociation technique, which I love, right? It's like whenever something happens, we see it in the first person. This is a really interesting thing, right? When something bad happens, we see it in the first person. Meaning we experience it again. If we're reliving a painful memory, we'll experience it in our body like it's happening again. But if something good happens, we'll see it in a disassociated state, meaning we'll see ourselves from a distance. So what I love to do is flip it consciously. And if someone says, you know, hey, you're fake, right? So heard it a million times, right? Okay, I'm fake. Like, if I disassociate. So it's not me, my story. Am I fake because I cheated once in an exam, or I copied some girl's makeup look when I was a teenager to be like her? Or I used to say things to please my dad so, you know, he would love me. Like those parts of me that weren't real. Like, maybe there's a connection there that I'm making, but what's actually happening in the moment? There is a woman somewhere. There's a human being. There is a homo sapien on Earth. We get so basic. There is someone on earth who says words, right? And words. Are man made to language. Is man made to another human? Like, that's what's happened. Like, if we look at it factually. Right. Again, question this. If you don't believe it, like, what is actually happening? Woman says words. What's it got to do with me? It's not like someone says that I'm fake. And this is touching my wound of what I used to do or what I had to do to survive at a difficult time or whatever. Whatever. Like that whole story is internal only, right? And frankly, the person who maybe says that, you know, someone's fake, they don't even realize what they. They didn't even. They'll never know. They'd be thrilled if they knew that you took all of that on and had a story about it. But if I. If you disassociate, you say, okay, what's going on right now? Woman says words. This is what happens. Even if there's. I was even speaking to somebody about this about divorce because it was so painful. I'm like, what's actually happening now? Matrimonial paperwork is being dissolved. Person, person, new paper, dissolution of marriage. This is what's happening. Why do we have to make it failure? Life over. God doesn't love me. Like all of these. Like all this extra, like, we can just. We can go, hmm, I don't know about that. Like, I don't know if all that extra is required here. So when something happens and it feels troubling or it feels, like, shocking or sad, you just feel that charge. I just feel like, really, what is happening in this situation? Because I'm believing that something is dangerous or that I'm under threat. This is what we do, right? This is what the brain does. It's our number one job to perceive threats, and it's doing a really good job. But we can also just help calm it down by introducing the truth.

I love that. Of the stories that we're creating around it. And I think, too, it's like, it depends on that person and the feedback that you're getting. Like, if it's a stranger on the Internet who heard you on a podcast and they're like, I don't know, you're fake, it's like, they don't know you. There's no rapport. There's no trust. Why would you take advice from a complete stranger who doesn't even know you? You. Now, in different relationships, let's say it's a romantic relationship or a close friendship. Let's say someone gives you feedback in a situation like that of, like, hey, Susie, I feel like you don't really listen to my needs. Or I feel like you always put yourself first or whatever it is. How can we take feedback? Like, without. Because I. Without, like, doing, like, the wall of, like, it's all your projection. How do we take that feedback while not creating a story around it? Because I feel like what happens is we either, like. Like, feel like we're wrong and create all. All of the things of, like, I'm a bad friend, I'm this. They hate me, our friendship is over. Like, thinking about ourselves, or we're like, it's your thing. I'm out. Here's my boundary. Because we don't want to get close. So it's like, how can we be in difficult conversation with. With ease?

Oh, I love. I love you. Oh, my gosh. I just love this so much. It's so helpful. So loving feedback from someone you care about is so generous. Someone puts themselves on the line when they give you feedback because there's always that risk that you'll shut it down. You won't like it. You won't like them. And I've had feedback in the past. Like, someone said to me that I speak too fast, right? I speak too fast, and it just doesn't sound good. I don't sound confident, right? And what's some other feedback that I've had? Oh, I've had feedback that I just diminish people's emotions when they want to rant. Because I'm like, I'll let them rant, but not too long. And so someone said to me, you don't give me the space to. Right? And so it's when someone. And our body knows when someone's telling us something out of love, right? Versus just, like, spite. I'm out to get you, and I want you to feel bad, you know, I think that when we open our hearts a bit, we know when we're getting some loving feedback. I always think it's really generous of the person who's doing it, whether or not you agree. And it's a vulnerable thing, right? To be like, hey, this is how I feel, or this is one piece of information I just feel like could be helpful for you. Someone's putting their neck out, right? It's easier to say nothing. So if someone's giving some loving feedback or even just giving some advice that you haven't asked for, I already feel, like, some appreciation there, even if I'm not in agreeance. And then I think, wow, isn't this a really delicious invitation to have to become closer? There's an intimate moment that happens when someone tells you a truth and you listen. And without judging yourself or them, you just kind of hold it and you're like, oh, oh, you know, I didn't think about that. Or I just. I need a moment to think about that. Like, I find that when we have feedback, or, I mean, even this word conflict isn't required here, but when there's, like, a conversation that happens, right, where there's maybe something that feels uncomfortable for someone to share, isn't that when our relationships can become good, like, can become even deeper? Like. Or if someone says, hey, that thing that you said, like, I hope. I don't know if you're making it about me. It's so. I just think most people don't do that. This right? They'll just go skip over. It's fine. Da, da, da. Don't worry. Live with, like, a secret resentment for 50 years. But if someone says something, I feel like it's. There's a gift there. And it can be a blessing. A good thing can happen. And maybe it doesn't. Doesn't have to. But if someone's willing to give you something, I feel like that's something that you can appreciate. And either Go a little deeper or just lovingly move on. Like, it also doesn't have to be so big.

Yeah. And I feel like, you know, when you are at ease within yourself, you don't get defensively with feedback. You're like, you know, I'll look at that and see if there's any truth and feel into it. And maybe I'm like, thanks so much for the feedback. I acknowledge that you put yourself out there. I still disagree with that, but thank you so much. And there's an acknowledgement or maybe there's a blind spot that that person was like, on edge of. Should I tell them? Should I not? I, you know, when we give someone feedback, I think, I really think it's out of love. Right. If you don't give a shit about someone, you're going to be like, ugh, I don't like that person. You're not going to explain to them why necessarily. So I feel like there's a lot. When you're truly at ease with yourself, it doesn't matter what people say about you or to you, because it's not as, as sharp of a firewall around your ego.

Yes, yes. And I feel like I have this policy. I'm not perfect with it, but I have this policy that I never defend myself. Like, think about that. Like, just never defending yourself ever. If someone says you're this, you're that, whatever, you did something bad, what if you just, like, just didn't defend yourself? You can go, okay. I mean, there is so much strength in that. We don't. It doesn't seem obvious, right? Because we're like, no armor on. You show them, you set them straight. Even my mum did this once. She read a mean comment about me on the Huffington Post and she was like, I set them straight. And I was like, that's very sweet. You know, it's not necessary that. What if there's nothing to defend? In the book, in Let It Easy, I reference, you know, the movie eight Mile. You've seen it, remember? At the end, I mean, it's an old movie, so there are no spoilers here. But. But this is an Oscar winning movie, right? And at the end when he wins this, like, rap battle, he just puts it all out there. Everything about him that's undesirable. I do live in a trailer with my mom. Da, da da da. It's like, put it out there like that. It's almost like in your course in miracles, it says, in my defenselessness, my safety lies. So, like, think about that. What is there to defend. I mean, defense is. It feels like a battle, right, that we're going in. Like, it feels. It's gearing up. What if there's nothing to defend? And if you're defenseless in a way, choosing it, like, from a place of strength, then nothing can really happen. Like, there's no next step. Because if you want to spar with someone, you need to have a partner. Right. And if you're not the partner, then, I don't know, I guess I have to go somewhere else.

Yeah. Every single time I've received a comment from someone online and I responded to it, I've always regretted it.

Yeah.

I always. It never. That person is in a place that they're not even willing to. And also when there's no face to face, it's like you can't really even have a conversation. It's just words against words without human connection. And that heart to heart is missing. And I feel like that's really what's happening on social media is like projection upon projection and this need to defend yourself. But I know so many people, they get a comment and they need to be like, okay, I need to address this and this and that. And it almost creates this sense of entitlement I'm finding online of like, I don't like this thing about you. So now you need to defend it publicly. And it's like, no, you actually, like, you can just read something you disagree with and move on with your life, believe it or not.

Oh.

Oh, it's so. It's okay. This is so freeing. This is one of my mantras. I don't owe anybody anything. Anything. You can come at me, right? You can. You can say, hey, oh, the only. There's one exception to this. If we're talking about social media, the one time I will. And this isn't to defend is I will clarify. Like, for example, there was this funny thing that happened where this girl who's. She's like a sober coach in Australia, she was like, oh, my God, I love bears. She was like, traveling. And someone's like, you said, you don't drink beer. And she's like, no, I said bears, not beers. Right, like that, like, for clarification. Sure, right. That's. That's one area. But that's not being defensive.

She doesn't drink Bears, like the animal people.

She was like, I love bears. And someone said bears, the animal.

Okay, the animal.

Yes. Accents, it can mean, you know. But someone thought she said beers. And they're like, oh, so you actually aren't and she's like, no, I said bears, not bears.

Funny. The accent. Beer bear. It sounds so similar.

Yeah, yeah. Who the hell knows, you know? But like, that. I mean, that I can understand. It's kind of funny. But if someone says anything, if I need to clarify, fine, like, you know, oh, there was a mistake or that was a typo, sure. But anything else you don't, like, 20 people can say, defend that, or, hey, how dare you. You don't have to respond at all, ever. Like, you can do whatever you want. You could just be swimming in the ocean instead, or eating a key lime pie or like, whatever the heck it is. Like, it's not you. You're not in that. That whole. That whole thing that's going on.

It's.

People say words, people type words onto an Internet platform towards someone, and that person's in the ocean. So it's really. It's really wonderful.

I know. Sometimes I look at, like, Joe Rogan, for example, and he's the example in my mind because he's a podcaster too. But, like, he'll say anything, like, and he'll offend a lot of people, and they'll be like, coming at him, and he just. I feel, doesn't give a fuck. And I'm like, wow, like, part of me, like, like, wants that level of, like, say what you want. Like, doesn't reply to comments. I think as women, we've been so conditioned to be like, is everyone okay? Like, did I hurt your feelings? Like, I need to explain myself. And we've been conditioned to be so apologetic, whereas the. The masculine and men haven't been trained to be like that. So there's also, like, less of this feeling of. You owe me an explanation that I see happens with women. Between. What woman?

Oh, and it's so. And you. You see it happen in so many areas that we do get. There can just be this, like, this feeling of owing. And even this very common statement you hear now, like, holding people accountable. I don't hold anyone accountable to anything. It's just trying to control another person. Like, you can be free of that. Like, worry about yourself. Are you. Are you feeling good with yourself? Are you in your conscience, in your energy? Are you good? Like, that's it. That's your only job. Job. Right. Everyone else is their accountability and so forth. Someone else can do that. Like, someone else can do that. Because I don't know, Sahar, I. It's. It's too big a job for me. I'll just mind my own business over here.

Exactly. Especially, too. It's like, you know, if someone's putting someone in danger. Yes. If it's like a personal relationship. Yes. But I think what we're really talking about is us not liking the choices of strangers online and how we really have of, like, who are we to think that our opinion about their decisions matters? And we see this happening. Like, we've had conversations about this happening. Different public figures and how, you know, I think what happens with, you know, public figures or social media influencers, et cetera, it's like they put themselves out there so much that people feel like, I've bought into your story, so now you owe me an explanation about everything. And if I don't like where this story is heading now, I want the show to change. And it's like, we almost, like, look at it like media, whereas that's like a human being who, you know, I could decide tomorrow, like, hey, this podcast is now going to be about, like, kittens. And people might be like, fuck this podcast. I don't want to hear about kittens. And I could be like, well, this isn't the direction I'm going. And I'm allowed to do that because I'm a person.

And this is kind of where we really show respect to other people, you know, where we. Because even if we give a loving judgment, any. Any judgment, good or bad, it's still like, you know, a judgment like, this should happen, or this is good, this is bad, and this is whatever someone decides to do their life. Like, the highest gift we can give them is just seeing them in their strength. Right. I feel like, Sara, I don't know if the kitten idea is really going to be great, but, you know, if I even say. I mean, I could say whatever I wanted to you, but I actually wouldn't. I'd be like, and who's to say? What do we know? Like, kittens are a big business as far as I understand with YouTube. So, so quick to judge, so quick to say, you know, you kind of owe me. You make it about little dinosaurs, little kittens, like, what? Whatever. The best thing I can do is just honor and respect your decision and by letting you be you and just, like, letting that be. I mean, look, the first words, like, let it be easy, like, let it be. So much of it is just that. Not getting involved in stuff that has nothing to do with you. Right. We love to stick our nose into everyone else's business.

Let it be. Let it be love that it's wise.

You know, it's wise. And if you're sticking your nose in everyone else's like life, their problems there and you know, there may be some intention there to help. But you know, the way that I see it is how I look in the world is that everyone is strong and capable and whole and resourceful. If I come in to say save them or if I've got, you know, I've got, I've got to like really step in here, it would just mean that I see myself as stronger and, or with better judgment and that they need my help. And that's, that's just not true.

Yeah, I think coming face to face with our inner savior and so many of us as, as kids we have to save our parents, save our siblings, save people around us and we've gotten gratification from saving people. So that's like the Persona that we, we may carry as an adult to be over responsible for other people's decision experiences. And you know, you got you to worry about and that's enough. You know, like if you have kids, you got them to worry about too. But it's like random, random people like no, like let them let it be. And you know, everyone has their own internal guidance and karma is a real thing too. So it's like we don't need to be the one who controls.

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Another thing I love to talk about you with is I noticed in my own questioning of my thoughts, what I came face to face with was I had this belief of, well, if I don't worry about something, then I'm not going to find the solution for it. So me worrying about it and thinking about it a lot is going to help me find the solution. And I could have evidence of that being true, you know, of things I've worried about a lot or thought about a lot that through thinking about I made my decision. And in my heart I know that the mind cannot solve the mind's problems. And me worrying about it, ruminating over it, it may just prolong what my intuition originally guided me towards or make me even like blow the thing out of proportion. So I would love for you to share about how our mind causes us to believe that we need to overthink about something to find the solution for it.

Yeah, I used to think similarly to you, that unless I worried about something ahead of time, I wasn't prepared for it. Like, oh my worrying is like my what I have to like, I pay my dues so the thing will go well, like whatever it is, you know, like this is required here. Like this is required. And it's so interesting how it's the opposite and it's when we feel stress the creative center of the brain shuts down. Like we can, you know what happens when the body's under stress? Because it's, again, it feels like a perceived physical threat. It's like tunnel vision, heart beating, like dry mouth. We have these somatic symptoms. They're very real. When stress enters our body, we aren't receiving, like, we're not connected to ourselves, the highest self. Right to mention the podcast, perfect name here. But we're, we're not ourselves. In moments of stress, we shut down. And so we think, like, we need the stress because it feels like we're doing something or there's some, like, momentum with it and like, also the punishment. Suffering can sometimes even feel good in a way because it's like, look at me sweating it out over here about the problem. I'm suffering. And there's something good about that because look at me, I'm suffering, you know, versus, if we look at a problem, whatever it may be, and it's the same, say two people, one person stressed out about a problem, one person is just handling the problem from a very calm place and measured place. The person who's calm is going to be so much more receptive to ideas, Ideas. And then instead of asking, you know, what's wrong? How do I fix it? They'll have questions like, you know, what's missing? What could be added here? How could we simplify this? What could be simple? And we've seen it's easy to observe in others more easily than ourselves often. But the problem that we're perceiving, like the problem itself is never the problem, right? The parking ticket, the can't make dinner, the got a big decision to make. That's never it, right? It's always like, what are we making that problem mean? What's the story here? Like, what is all the nonsense that's going through our mind about it, it? And if you ever observe, like, say, two people who've gone through similar circumstances say it's a challenge or obstacle, and one does it with stress and one does it from more of a calm, trusting place. And interestingly, the word confidence comes from the Latin origin word confida, meaning to trust. So coming from a trusting place, the outcome is meant to be good. It's a friendly universe. You'll just see how far more swiftly they work through the problem, how they're, you know, they don't have any physical kind of fallout, they're not exhausted or they're not feeling stress in their body, and they get to a solution with, of course, more Speed, but also a curiosity. Like, I'm in my life. I'm not like observing my life as a stressed, you know, person who has to get through something, but I'm in it. And also, this is part of the human experience, right? So whatever it is, like, like looking at it, being a bit more curious about it. And there are three questions that I love to. To ask. This is practical. So if ever there's a problem, and I say problem, like with inverted commas, because there are so many perceived problems of it, just life. But my favorite three questions are, first of all, especially if it feels very stressful, how serious is this really? Already? That's like a real interrupt, right? Because we'll believe that some email or some, something, whatever, or someone pulling out of a collaboration, whatever it may be, is like, it can feel like death in the moment. It can feel like this imminent, gloomy, like something terrible has happened. How serious is this really? Like, breathe, three breaths, pause, interrupt. Secondly, what's essential here? So, I mean, this can really be anything, you know, A friend of mine recently said, you know, I was even just feeling so stressed out after a busy day, I have to cook for my family. And she was like, how important is it that I cook tonight? What's essential here? The only essential thing is that the kids have something in their bodies to go to sleep with. You know, they're fed, right? So, you know, what's essential here? Even one time, I remember someone asked me to do a presentation and I completely forgot. And they asked me for my slides the day before, and I was like, I've completely forgotten, I don't have slides. So I asked instead, could we just do a Q and A? Could we do a Q and A instead? I've got no slides. I didn't even say I didn't have any slides. I just said, you know, I was thinking, could we make this a Q and A format instead? So there's nothing for me to prepare, essentially. And. And that's what's essential. Just that I was present. Showing up, loving, that was the only essential thing. How serious is it, cooking for your kids, not being prepared? Not serious, right? What's essential here? The kids have to eat. You have to show up for an hour, right? You have to be present. And then the third question is always my favorite. How can I let it be easy? And because the mind is so obedient to prompts, whenever we ask the right questions, we get good answers. We just ask that questions, how am I going to survive this? Am I going to be okay, what's wrong with me? What's wrong with other people? People. Bad questions. Like, how serious is it? What's essential here? Often there's not much that's required. Not much more than you need, ever. And then, you know, how can I let it be easy? The mind gives you solutions when you ask really good questions.

I love that so much. Can you repeat those three questions again so people can write them down?

Yes. How serious is this, really? And this requires a pause because you're like, oh, this serious. I need. It's serious tomorrow. Like. Like three breaths. Really? How serious is this, really? Because just say all of a sudden you were sick, right? You were just sick today and you couldn't do the thing tomorrow. Or you couldn't even order food for your kids, you were so sick. I mean, how serious is it really? Someone else will help. They'll find a replacement. There'll be a pizza. There'll be something, right? How serious is it? It's not life and death. Even though that's how the brain perceives, that's how it's always just trying to protect us. It's number one job, survival. Right? So how serious is this really? Again, we examine the thinking. Secondly, what's essential here? Not much, right? Like, truly, a lot of the time, what's. Essentially, it's just you, your presence. And then, you know, how can I let it be easy? And there's always an easier way. I'm obsessed now, Sahara, with allowing even more ease in. I'm like, I've got a nice amount of ease. There has to be a new level, right? So how can I let it be easy? I mean, I even joke that my next book will be how can it be? Let it be easier. There's always more. There's always more for us.

I love that. And I think, honestly, a lot of us have a block against that word. We feel like easy is not worthwhile. Easy means, you know, if you're taking the easy route, you're not pushing your boundaries and facing your fears and going through the challenges and obstacles and going through the shadows. And, you know, there are benefits of all of those things. So how can we go through, let's say it is like the level of seriousness is like, I'm choosing what to do with my career, or I'm choosing whether to continue this relationship with parent or something like that. That does feel like it's bringing up maybe our deepest fears. How can we choose ease even through these tremendous obstacles?

Well, I say that ease needs a good lawyer, right? Because no one's defending it, right? It's just like, I mean, Sahara, tell me, what in life is meant to be easy, right? Starting a business is hard. Working for someone else is hard. Not having a job, hard. Making money is hard. Not making money is hard. Being married is hard. Being single is hard. Having kids is hard. Oh, not having kids. Oh, that's hard.

Like, so true.

It's like it's, it's absurd. It's insanity, absurdity. Like, what is the truth here? Like, how can we catch our breath? Like, where's the break? Like where. When does the good part begin? Like, when does the easy bit kick in? Because I'm waiting, you know, like, what is easy, right? Like truly, like what, what are we allowed to perceive is easy? And when you let your life be easier or you questions around ease, how can I let this be easy? You give yourself that grace, that love, that permission which is always available to you. It's like you're going for a walk without a ton of bricks on your back, right? The walk will be the same. You want to get to the same destination, like finding your career or getting hired, but you do it. You just walk as yourself or you walk with bricks. And when we're believing that everything has to be hard and like getting a job is hard and the economy is so unstable and you should be so grateful that you even have an interview and da, da, da, da, da. Look, those things may be true, right? Those things may be true, but what has to come in. There's this old analogy that I love. It's like a boat doesn't sink because of the water around it. It sinks because of the water that gets inside of it. So all the perceived stress, what everyone will tell you, you're supposed to be scared about and worried about and nervous about that isn't your stress. And if you have a destination in mind and you have a goal and there's something that you want to achieve and there will be some obstacles, life will always have obstacles. Even with let it be easy wisdom, it just means you're going to be a lot better off and a lot more creative. And frankly, you'll be faster. You'll get to the end, resolution faster because you're actually tapping into higher resources. Like you're tapping into what's available to you versus shutting it out and figuring it out and white knuckling it and suffering and like even feeling slightly smug that you're suffering because look, look at poor you, you know, versus seeing, you know, really there is another way here. And I also, I don't have to act like everybody else. I can tell you, walking through life having a good time is an unusual thing to do. Sahara.

Right?

Like, walking through life, putting pleasure first, doing what feels good, not killing yourself in so many different ways. Like, I mean, it's funny, but I say, like, I'm not hating my body. I love my body. I have a curvy body. I love it. Right? I love my work. Yes. I have challenges and things to do and there are deadlines. I love that. I've chosen it. Remember, Like, I've chosen it. I'm annoyed at my husband. Husband. We shout at each other sometimes, right? With intense moments. So, like, that's marriage. Sometimes, like, I'm also not going to suffer between the moments of the obstacles. So there's just a lot of stuff that you don't have to buy into. You don't have to be like everybody else. And it's almost like when you kind of let this in a little and you play with it, try it on, allow small things to be easier, Allow some bigger things to be easier. Say there's even just a gossiping situation where you'd normally jump in and even defend someone else or yourself. And you just, you didn't. You just sipped your latte, observed it all, let it be. It's. People kind of start to want to know your secret. They're like, why? Why are you happy? Oh, you must have a really easy life. Like, oh. And it's like, no, I just, you know, I'm. I'm not believing all of those things anymore.

Yeah, ease is a choice. It's not something that people aren't born into a life of ease. Sometimes we think, oh, if only I was born into a rich and easy life. Then it's like, no, actually look at some of the richest people in the world. Definitely they are not living with the most ease. Oftentimes they're living with the most amount of stress and conflict and fear. So it truly is like a choice I feel like one day we make of, like, I'm going to choose the path of ease. And that doesn't mean my ambition is going to stop. No, that doesn't mean I'm going to stop working. I think a lot of us are afraid of. If I choose ease, then I'm choosing unworthy path. Path, right? So how can we rewire this relationship we have with ease of, like, doing the easy thing doesn't mean we're like, taking the basic average road. It's like, you know, for example, you're here in a. In a book launch, right? Like, most people would be like, oh, my God, Susie, are you okay? Book launches, they're so tough. Like, are you.

Are you good?

Like, they're so crazy. And it's like, you could have taken that on of, like, book launches are tough right now. Book books are being delayed and, like, you know, all of the chaos and stress that comes with it, but you're choosing to step to it and just, like, laugh at the challenges that are showing up. So how can we make this vow to the path of ease?

Oh, I love that question. So, you know, it's interesting because I've had this question a few times where people have asked me, don't you lose your edge if you become, like, too chill? Like, you need to be stressed out to succeed? Like, it's so interesting, isn't it? Right? Like, it's so. I think the question behind the question is, is you're allowed? Like, you're loved? Like, sometimes we think, if something good has to happen, I have to suffer first because I have to earn every good thing that happens to me. Oh, my gosh. If we knew how loved we were and how safe we actually are and how intended for good things. If you look at nature right, nothing's hurried, nothing's anxious, but everything gets done. Done. There's so much harmony. Like, if we allow that in for ourselves. Like, if almost like, if. If there was never this idea that life has to be hard and we have to suffer and struggle, and there's a reward in that. And like, some aliens came to Earth where they never had that doctrine. They're like, what are all these people? Why are these people so miserable? Like, why are they working so much? Why are they sweating so much? Like, there is a. There is a rhythm to life. Like, we're meant to receive blessings, like joy is our natural state. I expected things to happen to me with me doing nothing. Nothing. I expect good things to flow to me. I expect to meet people. Look how. How easy and lovely it was that we met. Sahara, a friend connected us. Kathy, who we love, had a lovely time. What a blessing. Imagine if I was like, you can't make friends in new cities as an adult. It's too hard, you know? And, like, poor me, I've moved around so much in my life. It's like, my constant, like, struggle. I never have friends. Like, huh. I expect to meet people all the time. And it's because of that feeling of safety and also love that I have for myself. So I don't Feel like it's necessary. And you can see this in others, right? You can see people who like really live big dreams. I say like even a big musical artist or someone like maybe who creates movies, they're not doing it. Their best work comes from a very joyful. I remember seeing this interview with Taylor Swift years ago and one of her big songs is of course all her ex boyfriends. She's like, me and my best friend were eating Cheerios in bed and I came up with this line like I knew you were trouble when you walked in in, right? And. And I'm like, see, that's it. She's. It's not what. Look what she's accomplished. It's like, look what she's just allowed. She's allowed those lyrics to come. She's put them in her song. She's not questioning it, saying how hard the music industry is and how impossible it is and how as a new female artist you can't break through. It's just like, I trust, like, this is for me, this is all for me. And I didn't ask, like we didn't ask to be here on earth at this time. We're here, there's a reason. And I believe in a loving universe and I believe that good things happen to us for us so we can be do and have what we want when we stop resisting so much.

I so agree with you. And I think, yeah, like to me that question behind the question is what motivates you? Right? I think so many of us are motivated by pain. We're motivated by. I'm suffering so much, so I want to suffer less. So if that suffering is gone, then I won't make any change changes. If I'm good with my life, then I'll just become complacent. So I need to find more things that are bothering me that are so uncomfortable so I can keep moving forward. And it's really shifting. What are. You know, I don't even like the word motivation. I don't resonate with it because I'm not motivated by anything. It's all a natural internal orgasm of expression that is flowing through me. It's like, you know, let's look at an orgasm orgasm. When you try to force it, when you try to be like, okay, I need to have the orgasm right now in this way I don't have much time left. I have a meeting. Like it doesn't happen. It doesn't happen. Even if you get it to happen, it's not going to be very good, right? So it's like, we are here to orgasm. Like creation is an orgasm. We're all orgasms, right. We're all our father's orgasms.

Yeah.

To our mother, like that's what we are, right?

Yes.

We're walking orgasms. And. Yeah. So if we can just live that way of like, let me orgasm through my creations and innovations and the lyrics of my song, the next expressions and adapting that mindset, it just shifts and it's like I do think sometimes around that, like, let's say Taylor Swift, that moment of genius. I knew you were in trouble when you walked in. Like, that is like her biggest song. Right. It orgasms through her and around it. Sometimes she has to show up for a really early rehearsal that she doesn't want to and that doesn't really feel easy. And sometimes she has to do these things that don't really feel easy, that go around it. But what makes her her and what makes her so successful and expressed in her highest self is not those moments. It's not those moments of struggle. It's the ease, the orgasm that flowed through her.

Yes. And you know, going back to your question of like, well, don't you lose your edge or isn't there the. You know, don't you have to. It's like, yeah, the girl works. I mean, she's going to stadiums, working, doing all of her things. But I would say if we're talking about ease here, isn't it. Wouldn't it be harder for her and we're just using her as a random example, right. For her to not do that. The ease is actually following through the. On the truth, on what you want. Like when I had my a nice paying job in tech and you know, everything was like pretty sweet there, it felt hard being there because it wasn't right for me. Like, it was not the journey of my purpose in this life. And so I'm like, yeah, I have all these benefits and yeah, this expense account and da da da da da. But that was actually hard. It's harder to not do the thing, right. So ease is actually again, you'll have early mornings like you said, they'll the requirements. You won't always feel like it and you'll be tired. But when you remember, like, what is it? What is it you're choosing? What is it that you're following? It's not because you've got this desire that's random and it's just kind of weird. It's because there's something there and following that is always going to be easier than resisting it. And if you feel like, oh, everything has to be earned and stressed and da, da, da. You're just missing also 99% of what happens in life, because, I mean, even as a small example. So we got a car. Finally, after being in America for 12 years, in Miami for two years, we got a car. My Heath was so excited, my husband, about getting this car. He was watching all the videos. The car, car, car, da, da, da, da, da. And then you go to get the car, and that's five minutes you get the car, right? That's the euphoria moment. Like, that's the moment that you wait for. And then I'm just like, I'm hungry. What we're going to eat. Where we're going to take this car so I can eat. You know, it's like, if you're only living for those peak moments or the moments, you know, that's. That's less than 1% of your life. So unless you're allowing some joy in, or even just not. Not even necessarily joy, but nonsense in your mind, just allowing something to be neutral, yep, gonna get through it today. That's all I can ask of myself if I'm tired. That's easy. That's easier than resisting it. Causing problems, causing fights, building up in your mind. Everything you then have to do tomorrow. There's always, like. There's Like. Like a dance that we can play, like, with ourselves, with life, where we're not getting in the way and not changing the music all the time. We're just kind of allowing things to be.

Yeah, I love that so much. And it reminds me of living your dharma, living your purpose, right? Like, for table Taylor Swift, purpose is to be the singer and show up in this massive way. It would have been so much harder for her to swallow that dream and spend the rest of her life wondering what if? Which is what most people do. They carry that resistance. They carry that, like, inner knowing that they're not really living their potential. That's not ease. You know, for her, it would be so much harder to be like, I'm not going to show up for rehearsal, and I'm not going to perform at the Grammys, and I'm not going to do all of this stuff because my sleep is more important. That's not being authentic to her. Whereas for someone else, they may genuinely be happy being a fisherman, you know, someone might come up to them and be like, you know, it's like that. I don't know if you ever heard that story of the Mexican fisherman Yeah, so it's like that beautiful story of I'll just briefly sort of share it. Like the Mexican fisherman who this American came and was like, why don't you get a bigger boat so you can get more fish? And the Mexican fisherman was like, well, and then what? And he's like, well, then you'll have more money and then you can hire other boats. And then he's like, well, then what? And he's like, then you can have a whole fleet of boats and, you know, you have more money and provide for your family. And he's like, and then what? He's like, then you could buy a vacation home and you could travel and, you know, live this big life. And he's like, and then what? He's like, then you can just like go on vacation whenever you want and hang out at the beach. And he's like, but I'm already doing that. And it's like, here we are thinking I need to do all that, all of these things to maybe get to where you already are. So again, it comes back to your authenticity, your truth, your. Your dharma, your purpose. Some people, I think, are forcing themselves into this big vision that's not authentic. For them, they may have genuinely been happier in a small home in the countryside, you know, drinking their latte, going to the Sunday grocery with like whatever the median salary is there. That may be be their ideal definition of success. Whereas for other people, it may be to be a Tony Robbins or a Taylor Swift, et cetera. But that's ease for them, that's truth for them. So it's honoring who you are and letting that expression be easy with all of the choices that it comes with.

Oh, yes, and this is our only job, right? Isn't this our only job? In Hamlet, Shakespeare says, to thine own self be true. Best words ever said. I can tell you my sister is a stay home mom. Two boys she's happy about than all of us. She's just like, oh, I love my la. Oh. She's like, I got a new fridge. Like, she. I'm telling you, she's like, oh. She's like, oh, I don't know how you do it with all those things that you do. And I'm like, I don't know how you do it. Like, I don't know how you do like to manage your very rambunctious boys. You know, like, always a mess, always wanting attention. This is why we just. It's easy to listen to yourself, right? Well, not whenever, when you're listening to everyone else. That's hard. It's like, you should, you should, you should. Don't you want, you need to. For example, my sister always gets these offers to sell MLM products. Nothing wrong with that. I like MLMs, right? But it's like she's like, I don't want to do that. I don't want to do that. I want to read my books and be with my boys. Great, like, ease. But that's her being true for like her vision, like what she wants of her life. I'm doing what I want, you're doing what you want. It's when we're not necessarily doing that because we're believing something else is better, something else is superior, something else maybe is more impressive. And they're all just judgments, right? Nothing is real here. It's just how it feels for you. And that's what, again, we just throw up more and more as this innocence and let, let stuff be hard versus just naturally following our instincts. Like, that's why we have them. That's why intuition's so loud when we listen.

I wonder, you know, I look back on my own journey and I definitely didn't always choose the path of ease. You know, like a lot of times it was like my relationship with my family and it was like so hard. And you know, I'm writing this book and it's hard and I, you know, so I can't say I've always chosen the path of ease and that's why I'm here. I can't say that. However. However, I made a switch and I noticed that the thing that was motivating me before is not going to motivate me or inspire me now to where I want to go. So sometimes it's like when you're in the shitty relationship, when you're in the dead end job, when you're in the place that it's just like, this is so uncomfortable that the only thing that's maybe slightly less uncomfortable is to go through the discomfort of changing. And it's like that is when you, you do often feel a lot of resistance. You do feel like you're swimming upstream. You may have no friends, you may not even know where you're heading. It may feel really overwhelming and really confusing. But that pain of changing is less than the pain of remaining exactly where you are. So you make those shifts and you go through the waves. And then I found, at least for myself, that then I got to this place that I'm like, I really. The book, I did it, I created it, I did the thing I have, the business I have, you know, the things that I've been waiting for. But then I was noticing my. My old self was like, well, fill up your schedule with more. What's next? Where's the next place to go? Like, look at these people. They're writing a book every single year. You should be writing a book every single year. You should be doing a podcast every single day. Like, you should be doing this. You should. And then I have to question, like, is because I was so wanting to change that. I was like, I'm going to devote any amount of free time I have have to making my dream come true. But now my dream is to have space. It's not to be the most, quote unquote, successful author or podcaster or any of that. My goal is to have conversations I love, you know, have time to dance. And that may not look like, you know, the climbing the ladder, but I had to be honest with myself of what do I want my life to look like? And I feel like so many people are missing that question and missing that different stages of your life are going to require different levels of energy to get there.

Oh, I mean, this is so gorgeous. Listening to this. Time to dance, having space, time to have good comfort, like, good, deep conversations. I mean, at the end of it all, right? And we never know when the end is coming, right? And I actually really love thinking about death often because I feel like it's just so. Keeps us so real at the end of it all. Like, what will it be? Be? Like, like, what will be the question? It will be, you know, did I like, did I have a good time? Like, do I love? Did I use what I was given? And did I like, was I like, white knuckling it? Or was I. Did I let myself be happy? It takes courage to be happy. It's really easy to not be happy and to be suffering and to get attention. But, like, looking back, hey, I danced. Or I had really great. Like, I had so many deep conversations that felt like heaven to me. You know, I went on spontaneous trips. It just made me feel alive. Like that, like, that will be the final. Like, did I. Did I do those things? Or was or was I listening to what everyone else said I should be doing? Filling up my. Going to shitty meetings that don't even mean anything. But hey, you know, did three meetings today. It's like, we can. Like, what you said to me feels like just a demonstration of loving yourself, of, like, I know what's right for me and that's allowed oh, it's allowed. How about that? Like, as if someone could even allow it. Like, of course, like, that's. That, to me, is bliss. Complete bliss.

So if someone's listening to this and they're like, I love everything you're saying. I'm all about it. But I haven't gotten to the part yet where I get to think about my bliss, where I even get to think about making space in my schedule. I haven't, quote, unquote, made it yet. Like, this was my belief. I was like, people can have it easy once they made it. So how can we, even if we're still in. In, like, the. I call it the shitty part of her memoirs, where everything is still falling apart. How can we. In that place where there are really big and scary decisions that may have to be made, how can we move through those with ease?

Can I just say that the shitty part never ends? It only ends with your decision. I want to tell you what Cristiano Ronaldo said, and I don't relate to this guy at all. He's a male footballer. I think it's football, right? But he's. I think I. I mean, from what I understand, he's, like, the most successful footballer in the world, right? So he said this. At the bottom, no one respects you when you're at the bottom, right? In the middle, you're ignored. Everyone ignores you. When you're at the top, everyone comes after you. And when you're at the top, top, you're terrified of losing it. So you tell me, where is the good part, right? Like, the shitty part of the memoir. I look back at my shitty parts, I'm like, damn, I did have a good time. Like going out in the snow in New York when I moved from Sydney. Not having a proper coat, having ballet flats, silk ballet snow boots. Like, I had a good time. You know, I could have let myself enjoy it more. I certainly had a lot more anxiety and stress then. But that wasn't a shitty part, you know? Look, I had no money. I remember I wanted to join Soho House, and the under 27 rate was 700 a year. And I'm like, it's. I don't have it. It's too much. I can't. I can't join for $700 a year. It's too. It's way too expensive, right? Like, that shitty part of my life, which I could call a look back at it, is that I'm like, it wasn't. It isn't. You know? And I'm sure sorry you've had these thoughts too. Or you've. You've realized this. You have have a big podcast, you reach revenue goals, there's always more, right? You couldn't feel like, depending on who we're comparing ourselves to now, like, compared to, I mean, I don't know, this is ridiculous. But compared to Michelle Obama, right? Or compared to, I don't know, whoever, Lady Gaga. Like, surely we're still in the shitty part, right? So you. I mean, like, seriously, when is the ease level? It's whenever you decide. So. I even love to talk about how often you see people who, like, you know, Steve Jobs in his Google garage, Amazon in the, like, the shitty back room. It's like the pride that people have looking back. It's like, why, why wait? Like, why not have that now and just go, look, we're always on our way somewhere. Like, we're always on our way somewhere. Desires never end. Right? Life just ends. And so like to always think, like, I want to enjoy the good old days while I'm in them.

Yes, I love it. Just reminded me, you know, Recently I went to Costa Rica with Stephen. We stayed at this beautiful hotel and it was in amazing. And there were tons of crazy bugs, like cockroaches and huge spiders. And, you know, there was like no mosquito net. And he was like. He was like freaking out. He was like, dude, how are you gonna sleep? There's like ants all over the wall. And I was like, started laughing and sharing with him. I'm like, I used to live in this hut in India that was $2 a night. I lived in there for about six months. $2 a night. Because that's all I had. I couldn't afford the One that was $5 a night, that hut. I was laughing, telling him the story. Story. I. I had a padlock to it, so only I could get inside. It was. It was. I'm kidding you not. It's a hut. And I noticed one day that my underwear was halfway through the wall. And I was like, how is my underwear halfway through the wall? Like, literally no one has a key to this except for me. So one night I was. And I would always hear rats on the roof. Like, there were lots of rats around, big ones. I had no choice. Like, that was the money I had. And there was just rats, you know, And I always hear them like it was a tin roof. So I don't always hear them in there. So one night I wake up because I'm hearing them moving a lot and my mosquito net is like six inches from my Face with this giant rat that was on the mosquito net, that the net came down, and the rat was scrambling and was stuck inches from my face. Yeah. And I was realizing that the rats were coming into the hut in the middle of the night, taking my underwear from my one suitcase of clothes that I had and trying to build a house with it. So they were trying to get it through the wall, and it wouldn't go. So I'm, like, trying to, like, throw, like, my pillow, like, up to, like, get the rat to, like, fly away. And I'm, like, laughing, telling Steven the story. He's like, wait, what the fuck? And I'm like, yeah, luckily, I didn't get rat fever. Like, my friend got rat fever. She got bit by one of them. But I had a mosquito net. And I'm like, honestly, looking at those days with fondness. It's. It's, like, funny to me. And it's. It's like, wow. Like, I was. I was in that experience, and I was still so hopeful. I was like, I'm here. Like, I'm finally free. I have my own place. I'm in.

I'm in India.

Like, I'm loving life right now. Yes. I had nothing figured out. Zero income, no relationship with my family, no friends. Lived by myself. Like, it was. Looking back, you could definitely say a shitty part of a memoir. But I also could dance whenever I wanted. And I would walk around and just talk to someone for an hour and then do yoga over here. Like, I actually had this huge level of freedom that I actually don't even have today. So I share this because it's like, you know, you might look back on. On your college days of having no money, but, like, the ways that you and your friends would take those $3 to, like, get the best pizza or you. You know, even days that we would drink and, like, mix all these alcohols together in one bottle to, like, steal it from our parents, like, we look back on those days with fondness. So why can't we, in this experience be like, this is so funny, that this is my life right now. Like, let me just enjoy this trip.

Chapter I. I completely agree. And when you think about, like, when you think about, like, any past moments where you're like, oh, my gosh, you know, I've really come a long way. It's like, are you actually happier? I mean, I don't know. I don't know. I mean, I feel like I've learned a lot to allow stress to be, like, not so much of a part of my life now. But I don't know. In my happy moments that are now, it's the same, right? It's all just the same. When my girlfriends used to come over when I got. I was divorced in my early 20s, I would get Red Bull and the cheapest Prosecco, which is like 9 bu. And I'd mix them and we would have one packet of Cool Ranch Doritos. That was my budget. And I'd be like, everyone gets at least one Cool Ranch. And we thought it was so. And I was so happy then, you know, so for me to even like, look back, I'd be dishonoring like a whole excellent time, you know. And if something goes wrong now and you know, just say I have. There's a real struggle and there's something unexpected that happens. I will bring my perspective. Like, that'll be the gift in any situation. Like, and everything too is temporary. Like every life stage, every home, every. All the relationships too are temporary. Not all of them, but you just think like, this is like this is it. Like, like this is it. And to honor it, allow it to be and to like treat it as if it was like that was it. Like to know that it's all special, all of it, the shitty parts, whatever that means. Like, it's. It's all just like the tapestry of your life.

I love that so much. So good. You made me laugh and really rethink and I hope everyone listening to this, you know, it just really is a mindset that we can always step into and it doesn't again, it really doesn't mean taking the easy route is taking the less worthy route. It's oftentimes even taking the path of courage, but dropping the story and letting it be from a place of the heart and joy. And I genuinely even think I could have done everything I could have done even faster if I had an ease mindset. It's not that the pain was motivating me. I think if I even and adapted this sooner, it would have been even better. But of course, everything happens for a reason. And if someone's listening to this and they're like, oh my God, I really have realized I've been addicted to struggling this right now. This is your initiation into the path of ease.

Yes, yes. I mean like really think about like wow, like, and like what. What can be available when we like drop the armor. Like, I agree things do speed up because we're not creating so many problems. And our energy, energy is really goes to creativity. Like creativity, different solutions. What else is possible and it's really unlimited. What's available for us as human beings on Earth and to be alive right now, like, what a blessing. I mean, having a podcast. This wasn't even available 10 years ago. Right. Look at how many. Like, there are so many blessings. They just surround us. And I just feel like ease is clarity. It's putting on glasses. It's like actually seeing the truth. And we're worthy of that. Like, we're worthy of that in our very strong lifetime.

Well, thank you so much for sharing so much great wisdom with us today. And where can people get your new book? I love it so much. It's like the perfect book. You could just flip to in any page. And it's like these little stories and little tidbits that you could just, like, read it, take that in and go on with your day with that lesson. So where can people get the new book and connect with you?

Yeah, so it's available wherever books are sold. There's also, if you head to letitbeasybook.com There are a couple of extra goodies that I'm giving you too. So lovely and easy for you.

Well, thank you again for sharing with us today. We're so grateful.

Thank you, Sahara, you know I love you. What a wonderful conversation. Let's do it again tomorrow.

Yes.

Love it.

And it's right now. It's exactly one hour and 11 minutes, so. Wow. Very divine.

So much love.

What a reminder that episode was. Let's just take a deep breath together and really fill our beings up with ease. Ease. Doesn't that feel easy? Choosing. What would ease do in this moment of time? What would the path of ease guide me to? How can I make it easier? What a beautiful affirmation to bring throughout our lives. And again, I hope this episode helped you see that. That does not mean you're opting out of growth, but rather, you're stepping into growth from a more expansive place where you aren't holding on to the baggages and weight of the past. Rather, you're moving forward in presence, joy, and harmony. These are qualities that the world deeply needs right now. And we cannot create them in the outer world without first creating them within. So thank you, Susie Moore. Be sure to check out her book. And if you're interested in joining me in my divine Feminine mystery school, head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com we have all types of workshops from relationships, sacred sexuality, your soul's purpose, opening your throat, chakra, chakra, dance, breath, work, yoga. So much more. It truly is beyond just an incredible divine feminine mystery school, but a community. So head over to rosegoldgoddesses.com if you'd like to join. If you loved this episode, I would love to send you a free gift which is the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your mind body type. This is a different book than Eat Feel Fresh, my first book ever which is not released anywhere and I am gifting it exclusively to those who leave a review of my podcast in the itunes. So all you gotta do is head over to itunes where you may be listening to this podcast and leave a review. Take a screenshot that you've left it and email it over to me@saharaetfeelfresh.com again that's Sahara S A H A R A@eatfeelfresh.com and I will send you back the first half of my unreleased book Eat Right for your mind body type which goes all into Ayurveda, doshas, plant based nutrition, body types, all of the things in a really fun and engaging way. So this is my gift to you for free for supporting the podcast. Every single review I personally read. It really helps the podcast be listened to by more people so we can raise the vibration of the planet together and I am so grateful to have you on this journey. Thank you so much for listening and I'll see you on the next episode. Namaste.

Sam.