441: Being The Lineage Breaker In Your Family with Sahara Rose

Namaste, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self Podcast, a place to discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement.

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I am very excited to be recording this live on video as well. So you can tune into my videos over on my YouTube channel to receive the full transmission. So I have been doing deep family work, which in my lifetime, I would say that this is my main area of focus when it comes to healing. There are always more and more layers of healing to go, especially when it comes to family. Not just our current family, but also our ancestral lineage. So I want to speak to those of you who, first of all, if you're called to this episode, you are a lineage breaker. So for those of us who are stepping into a new way of being that has never existed before in our family. So there's this massive moment of awakening that happens when you realize that you've been taking advice from your parents, who likely have never done any healing work. They may have just not had the opportunity or even the inclination to do so. And it also just wasn't a time period where people didn't have social media, people weren't reading books about spirituality and the nervous system and all the things that we now have access to. It was a very different, different time. And especially in that baby boomer generation after World War II, is very focused on survival and money and growth when it comes to your career and climbing that corporate ladder. And that is just where the collective consciousness was at at this time. So likely you were not taught about breathing into your emotions when you felt something heavy as a child, or that your nervous system may have been out of whack, causing you to respond in ways didn't even feel in alignment. Or how you may have coped with different forms of addiction, whether it is workaholism or food addiction, exercise addiction, substance addiction. We have been taught to sweep things under the rug and to put a smile on and pretend everything's okay and persevere because that is just what you did. There comes a beautiful and also painful moment in your awakening when you realize that your parents don't know what's right for you. They might not even know what's right for themselves. And as much as we can love and respect them, we don't have to follow their path and sacrifice our lives to make them happy. In fact, we are blessed to be able to stand upon our ancestors shoulders that they were able to get us to this place. That we even have the space and the capacity to think and entertain thoughts about purpose and joy and healing and all of these beautiful topics that we share about on the podcast. How blessed are we for our parents to bring us to this point? Whether it was moving to the U.S. like my parents, or bringing your family out of poverty or fleeing from war. That's another experience in my lineage. Not forcing you to be in a forced child marriage, that's another thing in my lineage. And every single family has their own story of ways that it just was. Maybe in your lineage there have been cycles of abuse that your mother and your. Your grandmother and your great grandmother. And as far back as you know, we're in abusive relationships. Or maybe there are cycles of poverty and scarcity. Maybe your family was in the Holocaust, or maybe your family was in slavery. So we can look at these horrific experiences in our lineage with profound grace and compassion. For of course our parents are exactly as they are based off of all of the experiences that they've been through. And rather than trying to change them or fix them, there's this beautiful moment of just acceptance of accepting. If I were born in their position and have walked through every single experience they have, I would be where they were as well. So when we can accept them, we stop trying to change them. And we're trying to change someone. That means we're not really loving them as they are. Just like we don't want our parents to try to be manipulating us and changing us and getting us to look the way that they think their children should look. Get this certain job, get married, do this certain thing. We want to be unconditionally accepted. How can we expect to be unconditionally accepted if we are not unconditionally accepting our families as they are? That first recognition is realizing that they are vulnerable beings who don't necessarily know what's best. That second awakening is having the compassion for them being exactly as they are and accepting them. Then the third is you having compassion for yourself exactly as you are and accepting that. Accepting that. You can't go back a few levels of consciousness below, where everything was fine and you could just work a job you hated and be in a relationship that didn't serve you. You can't do that anymore. You have expanded too much, you have grown too much, you know too much, you feel too much that it's like you realize you are a lion. You can't be in that zoo any longer. And sometimes it feels easier to just go back to the levels of consciousness you were at before, when things just didn't bother you as much. But the thing is, those things are bothering you because you are learning your own boundaries, and you are learning who you are and what you will and will not accept. Maybe every single woman in your family was expected to do everything her husband wanted to do. So, sure, it might have just been easier to, when your husband yelled and got angry, to just do what he wanted to do out of fear for your own safety, out of fear for the relationship. But when you reach a certain level of consciousness, you realize, I'm not going to just adapt to what someone wants because they are yelling and shouting and being angry over me. That's taking me back into my consciousness. I know too much. And I accept that they are angry. I cannot change that they are angry. I cannot force them to go to therapy or do healing, because that is imposing, just like they are imposing on me. And I can accept myself of how I feel in this experience. I can accept that I desire to feel heard. I can accept that I desire to feel free, that I desire to be in a relationship or a family unit where we can have open dialogue. I'm not also going to negate that desire within myself.

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I see a lot of people when they realize they can't change their family, they mean that, then they have to let go of what they want. It doesn't mean you have to let go of that. It means you have to stop expecting that from those specific people. Maybe you have the expectation of My mother should have been emotionally available to me. She should have been there for me as a child, as a teenager, she should have been able to listen to me when I want to tell her how I felt. And I'm angry at her because of that. I hate her because of that. That might be your experience and that is valid. It is valid to feel the anger. It is valid to even feel hatred come up because that is your experience. You can't lie to yourself. That is how you feel. But the work really is to look at what is this expectation I have on this person and is having this expectation just harming me? Is having the expectation going to change her? No, it's just going to make you feel unmet. So now you can know. I desire to be emotionally met. And maybe that is not by your mother. Maybe that is first of all by yourself. Are you emotionally meeting yourself? Are you mothering yourself? Are you nurturing yourself? So that final leg of that healing journey happens when we become the parent figures that we wish that we had. You become that open, empathetic father. You become that compassionate mother. You become that stable father, you become that joyful mother. You give those qualities to yourself, to your own inner child. You self mother and self father yourself. And sometimes our souls even chose family members to teach us how to be that thing for ourselves. I chose a dad who was really angry and emotionally unavailable so I could learn how to be my own father, to be emotionally available for myself. So I truly believe that within our families, we were born into the microcosm of the macrocosm that we are here to solve. So we were born with a front row seat pass to the very issue that we're here to understand inside and out. And it's not a coincidence if that is showing up for you. That is your work. Maybe it's to look at addiction dead in the eye and to really get to know what does addiction look like? What are the excuses people make? What are the patterns they have? How do they fall back? What are the dynamics around it? What are the triggers? What are the wounds? What is enabling to look at it through the eyes of profound love? Because it is your family. That doesn't mean that everything was right. But we don't have to believe that something is right in order to accept may have been wrong, but that's what it was. When we can accept that is what it was, we can begin to step into what did it teach me and how am I here to transmute it? How am I here to take my experience in that microcosm and bring it out into the macrocosm, bring it to the world, allow others to be healed from that. Those, of course, who are willing to even listen, which, by the way, there are many. So we can look and begin to have so much gratitude, even for our triggers, even for the wounds, even for our family members that really activate our nervous system. We can even find the gratitude for what that is teaching us. Again, not making what they did right, but realizing how it's shaped us and taking what we've learned from it and turning those shadows into light. That is alchemy. I invite you to really sit with what it is in your lineage that you're here to break. What is that cycle that keeps repeating what is that wound, that discord that you may have been born into? And how is that likely around in your parents childhood? How did they grow up in those conditions? Were their parents just like that as well? Maybe even worse? How have your parents even maybe created some changes that have created positive ripple effects that you got to benefit from? How are your parents lineage breakers as well? If you know anything about your grandparents and their childhood and how they grew up, how is this wound present for them? How are they also lineage breakers? We can begin to see that we really stand upon our ancestors shoulders, that though our families are far from perfect, they have likely progressed from the ways that they were raised and, and the ways that their grandparents were raised. And if you know about your great grandparents and your great great grandparents, you will likely see that we have transmuted generationally the lessons we have learned and let go of some of the conditions and the ways of being that have not served us and taken some that have, and also taken some that haven't. On an unconscious level, maybe in your family they don't even have a problem with this belief, it's just the way that it is. But now you have the awareness. And with that awareness comes that responsibility. You chose this. You chose this microcosm. You are here to understand it so deeply, to truly know how to bring about lasting change. Your children and all of the lives that you impact will learn from these lessons that you've experienced. This is how we pave a brighter future. By again being honest with ourselves of the ways we were not met and what we desired, and then having the acceptance, having the gratitude and then creating that change. Know that if you are a lineage breaker, I believe we all are. Especially if you're drawn to this and listening to this. That though it might not be easy in the time and you might feel like no one in your family understands you and that you are born into the wrong family and that you wish you had. I know for me I'm like, I wish I had some hippie granola parents who were just like, yeah, go live your dharma, girl. But I wouldn't be me if I had that. I wouldn't have found the strength. I wouldn't have learned how to believe in myself even when no one else did. So we need to learn from those experiences and see how they created the beautiful tapestry that is our consciousness. Wherever you are in your healing journey, I just want to honor you. It is courageous to look at the ways that your lineage may have been wounded and hurt so much trauma, especially for women in the womb space of all of the ways that we have been dishonored through forced marriages and sexual assaults and so many other deep grievances that we hold into the womb. Doing womb clearing and womb healing work is so important. We do a lot of that in my community Rose Gold Goddesses, which you can learn about rosegoldgoddesses.com and join our waitlist. We actually did a beautiful ancestral her story healing workshop where we shared our ancestral her stories rather than his stories. It's her stories and and just sharing it, letting the stories be heard, is so healing because it allows us to speak out what it is, what it was and is that we are feeling and give it words, which is that beginning step of the awareness to then change it. So join Rose Gold Goddesses if you love this type of work and you're wanting to dive in deeper with the community in your own ancestral healing. And there are so many great books. I did an amazing episode on family constellations, which I'll link of below with Marine Saline and she wrote an amazing book on family constellations. There's another book called It Didn't Start with you on family constellations. And the best thing is just to be present with what shows up when it shows up, to question it, to breathe into it, and to have the courage to look at where it comes from. And that's really how we heal. So I just want to give you so much gratitude, so much love for being here. Know that we chose this curriculum for a reason and is shaping us every single day to further and further embody our dharma, our soul's purposes. Thank you so much for tuning in. Namaste.

Jam.