483: How To Have The Best Sex Ever + Maintain That Spark In Long-Term Relationships with Alexa That Sex Chick

Such a huge percentage of women are just not even experiencing orgasm through sex just to begin with. And because the men, you know, are following what porn does and it's not even what women want. And the lack of communication and then women faking orgasms and just like, not exploring. But when you're able to go there and know your body, it's like every single one has a lesson for you and a softening. And for me, like, my cervical orgasms, it's like I see visions. Like, I see like hieroglyphics. I get like, downloads. Like, I got this download once that like, the real reason that the pyramids are there is because the woman would be like directly under the tip of the pyramid in this aligned sphinx position and her chakras are completely in alignment with the top of it. And she would transmute her sexual energy that would go through the top of the pyramid into the Sirius galaxy and all these downloads.

That's that good? Good?

Yes, yes.

Or it's terrifying. Some people almost avoid orgasm because they're afraid of that.

Oh, I'm like, give me all.

Oh, I know. Give me all the codes. I have a friend that is so sensitive to sensation and afraid that she'll bl. Blast off, you know, because even being around people that are on substances or whatever, she's like, I'm so sensitive and like, are you self pleasuring? She's like, I can't remember the last time I did because I'm so afraid of blasting off.

But that's the beauty of sex, because you're so in your body.

Hey, it's Sahara Rose. And welcome back to the Highest Self Podcast, a place where we discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. I have been really diving into my own sensuality and it has been such a beautiful journey of self love and spirituality, but also play and fun. So I was super excited when I met that sex chick, AKA Alexa, because she is the queen of all of these things, from the sensual side to the erotic side to the kink side and everything in between. And as soon as I met her, I knew I had to her on.

The podcast for a Valentine's Day episode.

Because, come on, let's get real. We keep it spicy up in here. And this is definitely the spiciest conversation we've ever had on the podcast. We are breaking grounds right here. And this is like the Sahara single era, so it's a whole new era of me. So get ready for an even more open and juicy and unleashed version of me on the episodes to come. So this conversation is just as spiritual as it is just like sexy and fun. We talk about tantric sex. She goes through many different sex toys with us that she actually brought. So if you're listening to this and not watching this, I highly recommend also watching it either on Spotify video or on YouTube so you can actually see the sex toys that she's sharing with us. So she goes through the jade egg, the crystal wand, various forms of vibrator, kink toys and shows us how to use it with ourselves and with partners. So it's such a beautiful episode to allow you to have the best sex ever and also maintain that spark in long relationships. Because let's be real, after a few years of a long term relationship, it's often work to keep that spark going. And it doesn't mean it's impossible. In fact, it can keep getting better. However, it does take active communication and vulnerability and trial and error on both sides. So she really speaks into that and she actually gives us the step by step ritual she does with her husband, which like, I was just like, I'm in love with you guys. Like this is amazing. Bringing that into my next partnership for sure. And also after this conversation, she gave me a private little experience with various toys. We did not have sex, but I.

Had, I had my clothes on but.

You know, she was putting the feather on my back and this like cold thing and just like various sensations. And I loved it because it's such a beautiful practice of receiving and giving to a lover or a partner that allows you to be in your body and out of your mind. So after I recorded this, I was like, I'm ordering all the different tools and things just to have more pleasure and sensation. Because we really are embodied beings, we're able to connect back into that. Especially we spend so much time on our laptops, in our heads and in our masculine. It just drops us back into the heart and back into the body in the womb. So this is a really juicy conversation that you're going to want to send some friends you're going to want to re listen to. Like it is fun. You're going to be laughing along with us. This episode is a good fucking time. So before we get into it, communication is key to not only relationships, but to living our dream lives. Because the truth is, the reason why we aren't in the relationships that we want, we aren't in the careers that we want, friendships we're not being seen and heard is because we're struggling with our communication. And your voice is your calling card. It allows people to feel into your energy. Like, I'm sure you feel so much into my energy from just hearing my voice. And the reason why the voice is like the missing link of all of these things is the voice is deeply connected to the yoni and the womb. So when you open both up, you're fully in your power. And for me, stepping into my voice has allowed me to create this podcast, which has become the number one spirituality podcast in the US it has allowed me to speak on stages at places like Google and Facebook and conferences with tens of thousands of people. But more than that, it has allowed me to really live my truth. You know, every single week, I get to come on this podcast and have my ideal conversation that I would just love to have in my life. It has allowed me to have deeply profound friendships. It has allowed me to go on IG Live and feel confident in sharing the downloads and the messages that I'm learning. It has allowed me to create two seven figure businesses, which has been such a blessing for me, allowing me to travel right now and, like, fully share my mission, sponsor many children around the world and be able to make the impact that I want to make. So for me, opening up my throat chakra has been the most important work that I have ever done in my life, and it is my gift and it is my dharma to share. And so many of you have been asking me, like, how did you become such a good speaker? How did you become so eloquent and confident? And I really sat with that of like, okay, how did I do this?

Because if you go back to my.

First episode in 2017, I did not sound like this. You can definitely feel a shift in my. In my voice and being. So I broke it down step by step into what I would do for 21 days to become a powerful speaker.

And I put it all together, and.

It took me a while. I actually created this a year ago. I've been sitting with it for a year to really create a course that in the most little amount of time possible, like 10 to 20 minutes a day for just 21 days, you will become an amazing speaker, like, going from unconfident to confident if you do each day and the practices. And I know with the economy and changes, like, it's hard to sign up for expensive courses right now. So I made it the most affordable course that I've ever done in my life. And right now, because it just launched, it's 50% off, and you're never gonna.

See this price again.

So this is my Speak with Soul course. It's a 21 day guided journey to activate your voice, whether it's for your career, your coaching practice, growing an audience or even just for yourself in work, relationships, friendships. So if you're interested in curious, you wanna snag that special discount launch rate to speak with soul course.com again that speak with soulcourse.com and you can find that link in the show notes. So now that we're getting our communication going, let's talk about our fantasies. Let's talk about our desires. Let's talk about our sex life. Let's talk about sex baby. Let's talk about you and me. Let's talk about bubs in the club. Let's talk about making love. Let's talk about cherries on top girl, it's going down girl I want to talk dirty to you baby on the hotline on the Highest Self Podcast. Let's go.

Welcome Alexa to the Highest Self podcast. It's so good to have you here.

Yes, we're going to do it.

Yes, we're doing it big today. And the first question I got to ask you is what makes you your highest self?

What makes me my highest self? So something that I'm working on now in my life as a person who has often overdone it, whatever it is, over, committed, gone, up against the edge of burnout, has just in general overdone it. What I have found, especially recently after going through grief and loss and yeah, just kind of being brought to my knees in life, it kind of sounds cheesy, but it's balance and it's by infusing more of the soft and the sweet and the tender and the graciousness in my world. So to answer the question, what leads me to my highest self is ensuring that I know that I have drive and I know that I can provide value in so many ways in my world. And a lot of that is a very push energy, a very do energy. And the way that I really access my highest is when I juxtapose that with things that slow me down, that allow for me to feel what's real, feel my sensations, feel my emotions all the way through so that I can hear myself and hear what my next step might be and actually have access to my highest self.

So funny you say that because I was writing this poem yesterday and it's like, yes, I'm strong and powerful, but I'm also soft and gentle and tender and vulnerable and romantic. And all of those are also parts of me. And you Know, I feel like in life often we encounter obstacles and situations that require us to be strong and we can't have the strength without the softness. But to really cultivate that surrender and cultivate that heart openness, for me, it's what makes everything worthwhile.

Agreed.

And sex, such a beautiful way of experiencing that. With yourself, with another, with God, and now post divorce, navigating my own journey of like, what is my, my true, like erotic energy within myself. Who am I sensually, sexually, what do I desire? And really cultivating that within myself. Becoming my own best lover has been my work. Because often when we're in romantic relationships with people, we kind of like expect that person to fill our needs or we get what we need sexually from them. And you know, when you're on your own, I feel like it's such a huge invit to be like, okay, who actually am I? Like, you know, I was like asking you about like all these like different questions and stuff that I had and it's like cute because I mean, I haven't been single since I was 23 years old. So it's like this like little girl in me, like coming out like, oh, what are all these things? Tell me more like, wow, you brought all these toys. So the first kind of topic I'd love to jam on is becoming our own best lovers. Because it's so easy for us to, you know, watch the movies and be like, I wish I had someone to sweep me off my feet and give me everything I want sexually and like take me to this higher state. But ultimately we can't even have that with someone else if we don't know how to get there on our own. So let's start with self pleasure. How do we really cultivate a self pleasure practice that connects us to our hearts and our pussies?

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I think I know so many people that get into relationships and then often when it comes to sexual dynamics, if they're really honest with themselves, they're performing the whole time, they're doing what they think is going to turn their partner on versus doing things that turn them on for the sake of their turn on. And so sometimes I find with especially women when they, when I give them maybe the practice. Cause it is a practice. Like you show up to the mat for yoga. Like the, if I haven't done yoga for a long time and then I go to the mat and then, you know, everyone around me is getting into a handstand and I'm like, I can barely hobble, you know, A foot up in the air. And like, this takes practice in order for me to get to standing on my head, you know, and that kind of example. But when it comes to sex, I position, you know, if you were to take this, maybe this practice and do it one time with yourself, what is that going to feel like? But if you only do it one time with yourself and it's challenging and you rush through it, then there's a possibility that that's happening in your sex in general and your connection with your sex in general. So sometimes I find women have a hard time even going to do it. It's almost like all the stuff that they wind up taking into the bedroom starts to peek through because they'll say things like, well, I saved that for my partner, I'd rather just do that with my partner and not do that for myself. Or I give them the assignment and they resist it and resist it and resist it. Or they go to do it and they get frustrated and they abandon it and they will leave it because it's uncomfortable. Sometimes giving that exercise to people or encouraging them to do that is harder than saying bring this into your actual partnership to do with your partner, because then it's something that they can act on versus something that they can be with. And when they're being with themselves, stuff can come up. And I think there's this idea that if I'm going to self pleasure or if I'm going to masturbate, which I like the word self pleasure versus masturbation. Because masturbation is a word that literally means to defile. So it doesn't have a good connotation. And so if we say you're going to self pleasure and you're going to bring touch and presence to your body, not maybe not just your genitals, but your whole body, and you're gonna be sweet with yourself and you're gonna turn your favorite music on and you're gonna make sure everybody's locked out and you have this private moment what's gonna come up. Because for a lot of people it's not just an orgasm. For some people it's challenge in achieving orgasm. And for some people, they've never touched themselves that way. Maybe even their lover doesn't touch them that way. And there may be, and it can be very confronting. And so I can understand that a lot of people with it. But if you were to continue showing up to the mat, so to speak, and continue being sweet with yourself and seducing yourself and touching yourself and holding yourself when you Cry. And having an orgasm that leads you to a fit of laughter, or having an orgasm that leads you to sobbing, and you are just with yourself, you're gonna learn to trust yourself a whole lot more. And that connection to your pleasure is going to just continue to become stronger. And. And when you absolutely can bring that then into your dynamic with your partner and who you are and how you show up in your sexuality is that more, much more vibrant.

So why does that happen? That the orgasmic energy causes us to laugh or cry or feel whatever the suppressed energy is?

You know, I don't know. Sexual energy moves really fast. It moves really, really fast. That's why for a lot of people, I encourage them to just move much slower. Just slow everything down so that you can really, truly feel the sensations. I mean, in the genital area, you know, the root of your body, you know, that for a lot of people is their sense of safety. And so if you move too quickly with sexual energy, then you could potentially bear down or store, and I guess I'll just use this term, but store traumas or infractions kind of in that part of the body or sometimes when someone has something happen in their lives, it's kind of too fast, too soon. There's a bearing down of the perineum. So to like brace themselves, they hold, you know, they tighten. And even as I'm saying that, you might be squeezing your butt, you know, like squeezing the pelvic floor, or it's like, let's say someone's raising their voice at you and you squeeze and you tense and where are you tensing? It's in that general area. And so orgasm and pleasure, and especially if you can remember to breathe through it, you're dispersing that energy. And I would say occasionally for some people, when they experience orgasm, they experience. Well, most people would say it's a release. And so you might be not just releasing and having pleasure, you might be releasing things that you don't even know what it's attached to. And that's why sex can be so healing. You know, it is a very creative type of energy. It is life force energy. It is behind so much of what we see in the world, of all that we see in the world. And so it's really big and powerful and it has the power to heal. And so the thing that might, you know, roll to the other side of your orgasm as a fit of laughter, and that's the way the rest of the energy wants to be dispersed. Most people, when they have the crying or the Laughing or the, you know, the crygasm or whatever. They're not thinking of anything consciously. It just is. So then that's, you know, part of the work is not trying to give it meaning. It's just letting it be and going, thank you, thank you to yourself, thank you to spirit, whatever that you want to say thank you to for moving that through you.

I feel like it just opens up your heart and your spirit so deeply that whatever the emotion that wanted to be expressed, that wasn't able to, it finally gives it that space. And it's so beautiful because you can simultaneously heal through pleasure. And it shows that healing doesn't just have to be the deep shadow work and, you know, the grief and all of that, that's definitely a part of it. But it can also be through this pleasure, like transmuting through your body and clearing any way, any, like, stored just, like, block and like, chakras and stuff that we have. So I feel like a lot of women on their own may let themselves go there. They might let themselves sound out whatever they're feeling, but then when it comes to being with a partner, then it turns into the performance again, and they're embarrassed and they're shameful. So how can we introduce a more healing version of sex with a partner?

The first tip is to slow it all down. Cause a lot of times people are kind of like, wham, bam, thank you, ma', am, like, you want this from me? Have this thing. I want you to be happy and let me do my duty and let's move on, you know, because a lot sex is not. It's a tool for many reasons. And one of them can be healing. And of course, it's connection, and it's release, and it's to diffuse conflict. There's so many reasons you can, you know, ways you can leverage sex or the act of sex or penetration and certainly pleasure above that or alongside that. But the next piece is I always ask people why, you know, why do you want that? Why is that intriguing to you? Why are you curious about that? And what do you hope it's going to lead you to? And typically underneath that desire in general, but let's just use this desire. There's something vulnerable, and it's, I want to feel safe. I want to feel a certain kind of connection. I want my partner to show up in a particular way. And so you can ask a partner, I want to have more connective, intentional sex. And they can go, okay, but how are they going to respond to that? You know, you have to Ask that question. And two, you can say, oh, well, I asked them for more intentional whatever kind of sex. But how they deliver that can look like so many different things. So unless you're specific and connected to your why and able to communicate that, you don't know where they're going to lead you. Because you ask somebody for intentional. More intentional healing sex, you can ask five more people, and they're all gonna lead you through something different and have a different idea of what that means. So what does it mean to you? And what would you like out of that? And then collaborate with your partner. You're on the same team. You're both on the journey together. So collaborate on what you'd like the experience to entail and what you're gonna try. And also understand that you might fuck it up. Like, it might not go well. And so what are your bumpers that you're gonna put in place to support you? And if this goes a little sideways, how are we gonna rein it back in and make sure that we come back to love and we show ourselves that we're safe, our bodies are safe. And so the precursor to this is a conversation. And so that's a willingness to be vulnerable. Because you could go to a partner and say, I want this type of sex. And the partner go, I don't know what mumbo jumbo that is. What are you talking about? You have to be willing to be rejected and manage and process that. Because a lot of times people will reject what they don't understand. And so that might take some time. And so you might not approach your partner and be like, I want this incredible tantric vortex, whatever kind of sex. And it's, hey, I'd like to, you know, have maybe some. Let's try this something different. How do you feel about bringing some sensual implements into the mix? And I don't know if you would say implements. I use the word implement. So, like, I want to change the lighting and I want to change the color. You know, I want to change the music. Will you meet me in this? Will you meet me in this? This is what I desire. This is important to me. Are you down? And if they're not, do your very best not to take it personally because they might not be ready yet.

Yeah, I feel like so many of us women, we desire this, like, tantric soul enriching, like, harmonious take me to God sex. But we don't know what that looks like. So you might express that desire like, you know, the dear lover. Like, I want you to take Ravish me and take me to the depths of my core. And. But then it's like, okay, like, what does that mean? And like, like you shared. Like most men, they want to satisfy us, they want to be there for us, but they just don't know what that looks like in these words. Like tantra, spiritual, like.

Or even ra. Ravish.

Ravish. It's like buzzwords and. But I think what comes up for me when I feel into it is like. And this could be like the feminine wound of like. Well, if I tell them what it is, then it's not them leading me. I want them to lead me to it. So how do we state our needs in a way that's not like then planning out what the sexual encounter is?

I often talk about my relationship with my husband Jordan, which is by far my greatest achievement in life is my relationship. I could cry even just talking about it. The way that show up for each other is I never thought that I could have a relationship like that with my background. My mom's a married, five time single mom in the military. I'm from South Louisiana. I grew up very Catholic kind of upbringing. So I had a lot going kind of stacked against me to have a life and a love like I have right now. And I've worked damn hard for that. And so some of my work is to like stop working so hard occasionally and actually be present with the work, the fruits of my labor. But when I look at my relationship, the way that I speak with Jordan about it is that I'm the vision. I'm the leader in love and I'm the leader in where our family's going to go. And he's the executor and so I have a vision for where we're going to go. And then he goes, cool, here's the. You get, you have the vision. I trust your feminine intuition. And which is. Has been a challenge for him at times, but now he's like fully on board. Now he's like, you're a witch. I'm gonna do it. You, you know, I'm gonna believe what you say.

That's what we like to hear.

Right? Right. You're a witch. Holy shit. Okay, so I'm. But then he helps my dreams to come into actuality, into fruition because you know, how we create life is, is both of us. And so I a lot of times have the vision and he goes into planting the seeds and nurturing them and all of their I go through and I nurture them and he just continues doing and if we want to use that kind of language. And so when it comes to sex, I can't be surprised if I don't want to tell someone something like they can't read my mind. And so if I don't want to tell them something because I don't want to take the sexy out of it, well, then I'm just going to wind up with lackluster dynamics where I'm upset or I'm not fulfilled. So the way that I would suggest for people to go about that is to talk about it even beyond when you're going to do it. So, you know, there are some things that my husband knows now or like conversations that we have that are over coffee. And then let's say I'm off of coffee now, so maybe I'm drinking tea in this imaginary space, but I have tea and he has coffee. And we're at the kitchen table on a Sunday morning and we're talking about things that we might be interested in. It's in a non sexual environment and it's a way that we can talk about it just like we would be talking about the hike that we're gonna go on in a couple of hours or what we're gonna be doing in the week ahead. And so I would encourage people to speak about these things, not just right before they're going to do it. That way your partner's just picking up clues. And then another thing is to get really curious about each other and to just continue asking questions. And I know some people do do that and they wish that their counterpart that back to them or take that initiation. And I'm going to be super straightforward about another thing here, especially for women. Just like I said, I am the visionary in our relationship. We have our own language in the way that we operate. But in general, women are the leaders in love. You are the leader in your connection. And so your guy, if this is, you know, we're talking about a heterosexual, male, female relationship here, he's a leader in many other ways. So a lot of times you gotta stop trying to lead in the ways that you know he's meant to lead, which can look different for each relationship. And make sure that you're leading in the connection and that you're leading in the love.

So what does that look like to be the leader in the love?

Yeah, so it's inspiring these conversations. If you're just steadily like waiting for the guy to show up at the kitchen table and start asking you about your desires, it's probably not going to happen. They're a little bit more logical than that. So set them up for success. Set you up for success. So, like, maybe you don't lay out every single thing that you'd want in a scenario in a sexual scene, but you give them the clues and they understand how to act on it. And through practice, because it is practice if you are asking them to do something they've never done before, through practice, you'll eventually get to authenticity and embodiment, because that's another piece. You might ask them to do something and they're like, checking off the box, well, she wants this and this and this and this. And then guess what you wind up having is someone who's just going through the motions because they think that's what you want, but they don't know how to embody it yet because they need to practice. So you have to lower the expectations in that regard and assumptions in that regard and make more space to fuck it up, to actually go there and kind of, like, mess it up a little bit and return to love and choose to laugh about it after. These are choices that you make. If you put this in an impossible little box of standards, that's a. You challenge, not your relationship. Your relationship has the relationship. And I could say this, like, for some people, I don't know what your relationship status is right now or what it looks like, but everything that you desire and you want, if that is two people that really want to be with each other, anything that you can imagine and you can desire is possible in that relationship. If you're good people and you are showing up for each other and maybe you're just like a little bit. That kind of your puzzle pieces aren't fitting together or the term maybe we're just not compatible. I hear that a lot. There's way more exploration that you can do. And I find that a lot of people will think that they're incompatible and really they just need more conversation, more inspired conversation. So, you know, my husband and I, we were talking a little bit about the erotic blueprints. We're completely opposite on that spectrum. He's sensual and sexual, or sexual first, then sensual. And I'm kinky and energet. I speak very different language, turn on wise than he does. And he had no idea. So some people could look at that and go. Or we could look at it and go, we're sexually incompatible. This is never gonna work. We're never gonna be able to please each other. Or we can choose to look at it as, the ceiling's really high. And I want to please you. I wanna show up. And then another piece is, I wanna be devoted to you and your happiness and your pleasure. So how do I show up if I am devoted to my pleasure and yours? It's not like a tit for tat, and I'm building credit, so to speak. And, well, I did this for you last Tuesday, so why don't you do this for me this Friday? Unless that's a playful negotiation, but it's also not holding it against each other. I was just talking about this because I have some friends that this dynamic's playing out, and it's a little bit. It's relevant, is that if I withhold my love from him, we both lose. If he's not doing the thing that I really wish that he would do. And I'm also not being communicative of it. And I stop touching him, like, even just, like, throughout my day, and I start withholding the love that I know he wants to get in the way that he wants to get it. We're both losing, and it's going to create resentment, and it's just brushing shit under the rug until we have a giant pile underneath the rug and we just can't even move around it.

Yeah. I love what you said about, it's not just about, oh, we're incompatible. We have different erotic blueprints. Like, bye. But when you love someone and you guys are honest and devoted and have great communication, it's like you want to show up for that person. You want to learn. It's like, no one's going to be your clone. Like, you're never going to find that. And it's such an expression of love. And a lot of people's blueprints shift over time, too. You know, you might think, oh, I would never be into energetic or kink or whatever. And from practicing it with your partner and, like, being in their turn on, it might actually become your turn on as well. And I feel like ultimately we're all kind of shape shifters deep down inside because we're able to play in all of them. So you've brought some fabulous toys. And I want to start with the Crystal Wand, because I feel like that is very healing. And I'd love for you to share, like, the different crystals and how they're related to different types of healing. But even before the Crystal Wand, would you recommend getting started with a jade egg? What are your thoughts on getting started on this journey?

It's really personal, and it's kind of like the crystal chooses the you Know, the wand chooses the wizard or whatever. It's like the crystal.

It's like the H. Right.

When you go into a crystal shop or something, it's kind of like what Dex wants to come home.

Naomi likes the obsidian.

Right, right. It's like, whoa, we're down for some shadow work stuff, you know, some sexual shadow work. And it's really what calling to you. So there's a practice with yoni eggs, which I almost brought. I have like five of them at home that are all different stones. So these are what I would say more spiritual or more personal practices. So my crystals that I have, that I actually work with and use are typically things that I use in my own self pleasure practice and self love practice. And I'm not saying I do this every week or certainly not every day. Occasionally I'll go through a period of time where I'm doing a self pleasure practice and I'm working with my crystals maybe once a week for a stretch of time. And then I leave them for a little while and I go back to them. And so. And that's kind of like a lot of other practices that I have have. So when it comes to the jade eggs or the three common stones are jade, rose quartz and obsidian, those are the three most common. They're also particularly good for this practice because they're not very porous, so they can't harbor bacteria, they're less likely to create infection, that kind of thing. And a couple things that I want to note on those practices that I think some people kind of brush over and they just go, oh, I want an egg. And they run it under some hot water and then they stick it in and they're just like, oh, I'll just wear it till it falls out. If you wear it until it falls out, you've exhausted your muscles and your yoni is tired, your pussy's tired. And that's not, you know, kind of like if you just continue doing a curl until your arm gives out. We don't want to do that to her. We don't want to do that to the rest of your body because then. But the way that you feel down there is different to how you would feel a muscle exhaust your biceps or your quads, your back muscles. So ideally you'd only leave a yoni again for the duration of a practice. So if you do a 15 minute meditation or a 30 minute or an hour long meditation and then you take it out.

So just 15 or 30 minutes, don't.

Sleep with it for an hour, don't sleep with it. I would say don't sleep with it in, because even though you're resting, your muscles are still holding that in place. So my encouragement would be to have a practice that goes along with it. And so let's say you choose a rose quartz, and that's connected to your heart. And so you have your hearts with the rose quartz and your yoni. So of course, I'll trade back and forth. Pussy, yoni, vagina, flower, whatever you want to call it, Right? Whatever sounds good to you. And so you place that inside of your vaginal canal. Now, the egg, right, has one. The top of it is a little more narrow because it's like an egg. So you flip it around where the large side is inserted first, and then the small side is towards the outside. Some of them are drilled where they have, like, floss, you know, coated floss.

Which I highly recommend.

Yeah, to pull it out. It's much easier.

Yeah.

So kind of like a tampon string, but so you'd place that in. And let's say you have an incredible meditation that Sahara has put out into the womb.

You have a womb meditation that I share at the end of this episode.

There you go. So you have a womb meditation. You put your crystal in, close your eyes, deep breath, you pulse, and you relax. If that's what you want to do in your practice. You listen to that meditation, you have the experience. You go take it out. You go about your day. That's how I would recommend starting to work with things like the jazz.

Do you think the yoni needs to be, like, turned on to suck it in? Because otherwise, if you stick it in, it's a trauma on the yoni. This is something I've heard.

I don't work with them enough to have an opinion on that, but I would say use lube and run it under warm water first so that it's not quite a shock to the system because they're cold. And that's my pro tip for any of the elements. So if you have. If you're working with, you know, toys that are made of metal or steel, if you're working with glass or you're working with crystal. Wood's a little bit different, though, you know? Can run those under warm water, too. But I would run it under warm water so it feels closer to body temperature. I would even run it closer to hot water. And then leave it on your heart for a little while, like, lay it on your heart or hold it on your chest and breathe with it for a little while. And So I would tell my body. I would encourage people to tell your body you're going to do something to it before you do it. And then some people, it might not bother them. You know, they just. They pop it in and they have their practice and they pop it out and they go about. Everybody's body's different. Yeah.

I mean, I've heard so many different practices from different people. So it's like in. It's so interesting because some people say sleep with it overnight, and then some people say, only do it for practice. And some people say, yeah, like, go work out with it. So I'm like, I don't know. Some people weight lift, do vaginal weightlifting. Right.

Like Kim and I mean. Right. And so I'm not trying to lift my surfboard. First off, I don't have a surfboard. I will never have a surf. Where I'm from, Louisiana, we don't know. We don't have that. So I won't be. I won't be lifting my surfboard with. With or weights or cinder block with my vagina muscles. But I want to have great orgasms and I want to be able to have a certain kind of experience in sex. And I want to be connected with her. So. Meaning my genitals. I want to stay connected. So I really look at it as a practice to stay connected.

Yes. And I feel when I use it, even for a few days, I feel so much more connected to my yoni after. However, for some women, the problem, especially when you work out a lot, you're more like muscular too tight could be tight. That's why I learned. I'm like, oh, this isn't really the practice for me because that's not what. I need to be more tight. So it's interesting because we think J. DAG is for everyone, but for some of us, we need to more learn how to soften, soften and loosen.

Yeah, yeah. So for you, even I would talk. I would work with an elixir, a yoni elixir, and massage. I would massage and breathe. And so massage the perineum, which is the space between your vaginal opening and your anus. I would massage that. I would massage all around the vaginal opening, all around the inner and outer labia. I would encourage that practice where you're inserting and kind of just like kind of mapping, where you're just like placing pressure in various parts of the vagina and relaxing. And some people have pain. You know, it's tight or there's pain or there's trauma. Or there's fear and so they kind of bear down and it hurts to even put, put a pinky or a tampon inside of their vagina. And so using dilators or using like smaller items to kind of just get used to that's a thing too. Granted, if you're working with the eggs, the smaller the egg, the tighter you're going to work the muscle, right? So the larger the egg is, the it's a bit looser from what I understand that you work from the larger egg to the smaller egg so that if your vaginal muscles can hold the smaller egg, then they're able to be really tight.

So interesting. So let's move into the Crystal Wand. How and when do you recommend introducing that?

This one is from Shock Rubs, but I have some items with me too that are from Yoni Pleasure palace, which are amazing.

I love all of their products.

Like I was telling you before we started, I was like, I know a little to a medium size amount about a lot of things. And when it comes to toys, I would say I know a decent amount about toys, when to use them, how to use them and all of that. But I'm sure that there's people that are out there that you could look up if you want, like a really in depth practice and that kind of thing when it comes especially to the crystals. But for me, it's again a solo pleasure thing. I use now I'll just describe what I have used some of my crystals for. Again, run it under warm water so that it's room temperature or body temperature rather, at least start the practice I might be laying down. I'll take the larger ends of the, you know, the wand and I'll actually kind of massage my body sometimes with it. Maybe I'll put it next to my neck. Maybe I'll put it, I'll hold it on my heart for a little while. I might roll it. I just kind of let my body get acclimated to it and you know, of course I want to tune into the frequency of the crystal, the properties of the crystal, share with my body, share with the universe, what I'm open to, what I'd like to do in that experience. And then sometimes I'll use either side of the crystal and massage again inner and outer labia, the groin muscle. And it's really just a practice for me to be again sweet with myself. And then occasionally when it comes to massaging, just like I was saying with your fingers, which is a little bit different because you can kind of stretch the muscles Out. But for here, some people use these for things like yoni de armoring, where they're putting pressure on certain points inside of the vagina. And then, you know, for some of these crystals, they're specifically shaped to massage the cervix in that area as well. So it's really, again, another self pleasure tool. I don't really pull these kinds of things out when I'm playing with my husband. This is like I've got my sacred implements, my sacred items, and then I have the ones that are more fun to leverage with him. So occasionally I will pick up one of the glass toys and he'll watch me. So it's like, he's like, I want to see how you treat yourself. I want to see where do you touch yourself first.

And the glass toy is a curved G spot wand. Yes.

This one, cervix serpent. This one's yoni pleasure palace. So this one's meant to. Because it's really long.

Okay.

So it can reach, you know, into your cervix, which for some people, their vaginal canal is not really all that long anyway. This just when I look at it, I'm like.

It's kind of like, which side are you putting in?

I mean, you could put in either side. It's glass. It's another one that I would run under warm water, but this side, and it has the ridges here. So if you want to pause where the G spot is, or as people are starting to call it now, the clitoral, urethral vaginal complex.

It's a really easy word.

Cuv. Yeah, Cuv. Because G is gravenberg, which is an old man. Oh, yeah.

Naming our yoni parts after old men. We think they've discovered them.

Right. Well, it's an area of the vagina where a lot of nerve endings and things cross. And so it's basically the other side.

Of your clitoris, right?

Yeah, the underside. But it's like the kind of the curvature of the clitoris, but then also your urethra passing right there. And then it's vaginal sponge tissue. So there's just lots of sensation out of all of the area of your vagina that's an area that has more nerve endings than some of the other area of the vagina I've heard of.

There's like three feminine archetypes, and the clitoris is the maiden. So it's like your fun little playful first orgasm, first rodeo out in town. Then your G spot is your wild woman. And that's like wet, wild, gushy, all the feels, you know, just in her shakti. And then your cervix is the crone. And that's like deep, introspective, visual, but, like, takes time to get there.

Yeah. I don't like prioritizing them necessarily, but using them as archetypes in that way is that I would say, for that, too. I mean, I found clitoral orgasm by, like, 4 or 5 years old, which, you know, some people are like, what? How?

Like, well, oh, most children are expecting their bodies at.

Absolutely.

Yeah.

For sure. So that's your. Your cervix serpent. But, yeah, it could take time, and like you said, it takes time to get there. And it'll be practice in order to figure out when you're even having that sensation. Yes. And when it feels good. Because if you. I mean, if anyone's had penetration happen too soon, or like a penis and penetration hit the cervix too soon, it's painful. Can be painful. But if you've been really properly warmed up, tended to, there's a lot of blood flow, which underscore here. If there's a lot of blood flow to that area, which is why a lot of people like spanking. It's because it encourages blood flow to the entire base of the body. So if you want to switch at some point into, like, BDSM questions, I've got you. But if you've got a lot of blood flow there in the. In just the general pubic region, and it's very wet and it's very juicy, and you've actually had something. The vagina does something called tenting, where it actually elongates and the cervix shifts its position. So until you've had that process, which takes roughly, on average, about 20 minutes of a lot of stimulation in some kind of way, it doesn't have to be direct touch stimulation. It could be mental stimulation, energetic stimulation. That's when you know you have access to being able to stand.

Even for me, it's like a cervical orgasm is like a few orgasms in.

And that too.

It's never my first. It's like the third or fourth.

Yeah. I have a friend of mine, he's dubbed himself a sex hacker. Kenneth Play. And I loved having him on my show. And he just goes, oh, you need to give her at least one orgasm before you ever think about penetrating. And I was like, it's true. Did anyone hear that? Like, can someone give him a megaphone? I know he's got a microphone, you know, to record a podcast. Like, but can someone. Where can we put this more places, you know, Totally.

Because we don't realize, I mean men and women, all non binary people, we're all multiorgasmic, right? But I think as women especially, we can really access those realms because you can have breast orgasms, clitoral orgasms, different types of clitoral orgasms, G spot, et cetera, and go back to them and deepen into them them. But I think often, I mean, such a huge percentage of women are just not even experiencing orgasm through sex just to begin with and because the men, you know, are following what porn does and it's not even what one one. And the lack of communication and then women faking orgasms and just like not exploring. But when you're able to go there and know your body, it's like every single one has a lesson for you and a softening. And for me, like my cervical orgasms, it's like I see visions. Like I see like hieroglyphics. I get like downloads, like I got download once that like the real reason that the pyramids are there is because the woman would be like directly under the tip of the pyramid in this like aligned sphinx position and her chakras are like completely in alignment with the top of it and she would transmute her sexual energy that would go through the top of the pyramid into the Sirius Galaxy and like all these downloads.

Yeah. And that's like good, good.

Yeah.

Yes. Or it's terrifying. You know, some people almost avoid orgasm because they're afraid of.

Then, oh, I'm like, give me all.

Oh, I know. I have a friend. Codes. I have a friend that is so sensitive to sensation and afraid that she'll blast off, you know, because even being around people that are on substances or whatever, she's like, I'm so sensitive and like, are you self pleasuring? She's like, I can't remember the last time I did because I'm so afraid of blasting off.

But that's the beauty of sex, because you're so in your body too that you're not gonna blast. It's not like taking much of lsd, you know, it's like you're so in your body and it's like every time I have an orgasm in general, I'm like, oh, this is why I'm alive.

Yes.

Like it's a little. This is who I am.

Yeah.

And it's like. And then I'm like, how am I not doing this all the time?

All the time? Because we'd get nothing done.

Yeah.

Or we like low key.

Why do I ever, like postpone this? Or like, think like, think of it as like, oh, I got it, it's a chore, I don't have time. Then once I have it, I'm like, what? This needs to be like a every day, all the time thing. But it's like, like, it's just like in life, the things that are good for us, we don't do. And so healing it like heals your hormones, it opens your heart and it's so beautiful. And that's why I've been so interested in sex as a path of spirituality, because I really see them as one and the same.

Yeah, I've learned more about myself. I've got a little bucket. Travel has taught me a lot. I lived and worked on cruise ships for almost six years and traveled extensively. And that taught me a lot beyond like small town, Louisiana sex and psychedelics. Those have been like the most profound experiences. And of course I would, I guess I would couple my relationship underneath the sex component as well. Or love business component. That's a fucking.

A good spanky. Spank.

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. But sex can tell you so much. I mean, think about it, how you show up in sex. How else is that showing up for you and your life? And this is kind of paraphrasing Dan Savage, who's quite a character if anyone wants to look him up. But it's. If you can ask your partner to pee on you, what can you ask your boss for? You know, it's like how you have.

Sex is how you live. And it's like, are you someone that rushes? Are you someone that tries to get to the end? Are you someone that disassociates and isn't really present? Are you someone that's performing for the other person, people pleasing for the other person? And there's no way that's not showing up in other areas of your life. And when you look at that and you even change that through sex of like going slower, being more in your body, letting go of any goal, it's naturally going to show up in everything else that you do.

Absolutely.

So I have been on the road traveling for the past few months and I can barely bring anything with me. But something that's a non negotiable are my Anima Mundi herbals. So. So not only do I feel at home anywhere I go because of their witchy, earthy packaging, but they're so grounding. They're so good for you. So my personal stash, what I'm always Ordering is the adaptogenic tonic 7 mushroom and camu camu elixir. I love the adaptogenic powder as well, which has mushrooms and cacao. I adore the mucuna which is called the dopamine bean Blue lotus, incredible flower of India intuition, especially after Egypt. I have just such respect and reverence for this plant, the rose powder which I add to coffee or really anything to give that like divine feminine heart opening energy. And it's also what I get people for gifts. Whenever I'm looking for a gift for someone, I order exactly what they're calling in, whether it's more memory and focus, more happiness, whatever it is that they're looking for, I, I get the anima mundis for them. And they're always so appreciative. So if you're curious areas, you're wanting to add more non filler, non binder, wildly harvested organic herbs in your life, then Anima Mundi herbals is for you. I'm personally friends with the founder. She's been on the podcast Adriana. She's a Costa Rican herbalist witch and she's someone I deeply trust with what I put into my body. So if you want to give it a try for 15 off, you can head over to animamundiherbals.com and use coupon coupon code SAHARA15. Again, that's anima a n I m a mundi M u N D I herbals.com with coupon code SAHARA15. And you can find all of that in the show notes.

So take us to the next toy. Where are we going next?

Oh, where do you want to go? Do you want to go to things that, that buzz or do you want to go to things that.

Let's do the. Let's finish up the non buzzing and then go into the buzz.

Okay, great. So the other here that are non buzzing, let's go into this one is a metal toy called an njoy. It's made of stainless steel. It's very heavy. I don't know if you want to give it a lift.

I mean, I don't want to touch your sacred toys.

Oh, no, this is not a sacred. This is a. This is a piece of metal.

Okay.

Yeah, we're done with the. Only the rose quartz. Would I put in that. Yeah. This is for.

What is it for?

So this could be kind of right.

It's very cold too.

Yeah. And it's so heavy that I always think of like, have you ever played the game Clue? Yes. So when people and I've done This I don't know if you've ever played, like, the weapon. Right, the weapon where I'm like, so and so, like, Colonel Mustard died in the library with an enjoy. Like, when someone's like, what would you choose as your murder weapon? I'm like, an enjoy. So it has a nice density and a weight to it. It's meant as a G spot massager, and it's also a toy. It's a fan favorite for gushing, squirting orgasms as well. So for those people that might be interested in that play, because you can kind of rock it with its weight. It pushes kind of massages kind of rhythmically. So it's.

This is also both sides.

Yeah, you can use both sides, but if the larger side is inside of the vagina and kind of nuzzled up to the G spot, then you can kind of just rock it from the outside. And if you rock it just right. This Exactly. Another thing that I know from Kenneth Plake, as you can probably gooh Google his name and this toy and watch him do it to someone. He's definitely doing the aspect of sex education that I will not do, which is, like, working with actual, like, naked people. I call it, like, kind of like sex ed porn. But you can also use the other side, too. This was originally a male anal toy, right. When it was originally going on to the, you know, out on the market. But it's been a fan favorite for. For many other uses in G spot as well. You said it was cold, so that's another thing. If you have a blindfold on and I lay this, and you're face down, and I lay this on your back, and the room is nice and toasty, and I lay this on your back. It's, you know, it's. Oof, that's cold. And it's like, I'm just gonna let that warm up right there before I use it on you. Right. And you won't if you're blindfolded.

I'll never see it coming.

You know, like, it's just a way to tease a little bit. So you can use something like this for temperature play as well. Well, again, running underwater. The other thing that I have here, speaking of the behind, is a prostate massager, which was originally a medical tool that someone who was having to go to the doctor to get his prostate milked because he was getting to a time in life where his prostate was enlarging, he was having a hard time urinating. Realized by going to the doctor was a little bit humiliating because you have to have a doctor, in order to access the prostate state, you have to put a finger in the butt and push on this gland. And so he was like, I want to figure out a way to be able to do this, and where I don't have to go to the doctor. It simultaneously felt good. So made this tool so that men could milk their own prostate and be able to, like, process the fluid.

Never heard this phrase, milk the prostate?

Yeah, like, encourage the fluid to be removed so it doesn't engorge and doesn't get inflamed. So a prostate massager has a loop for your finger. It has a piece that goes in and pushes on the prostate from the inside, and then a little nub that kind of rubs the prostate from the externally. And so with stimulation. And then also, let's say you stroke the shaft of the penis and get that succumb to orgasm while you're also putting some pressure on the prostate. It can lead to even bigger orgasms or even bigger, let's just say, ejaculations. And so this is just for men. I mean, you can stick that somewhere if you want to, but this is shaped for male use, so I didn't want to just bring all of the. Yeah.

You know, because a lot deserve some play, too.

Right. Well, a lot of. A lot of men are. They're missing out on a lot of pleasure and sensation because of shame.

Yes.

Yes. You know, it's. If I like any kind of stimulation around my anus, that I must be gay is, like, the main thing that I hear, or. Oh, no, no. I'm not into that stuff. And that was definitely my husband until we got a bunch of these prostate massagers sent to our house because we're connected with the Brandon Narrows. And I left him alone one day, and he was like, I tried one of those things. I was like, you did? He's like, it's really good. I'm like, great. And so we're working on creating environments where he might feel safe, because that's so vulnerable. And I'm like, now you know what it's like to feel to be penetrated. Right. So anyway, that's. I didn't want to only bring stuff. Yeah.

I think it's, you know, kind of. Of interesting how, like, in the Bible, they're like, God cannot, like, man cannot sleep with other man. But then it's like, God designed the male G spot in his butt. And it's like. And that doesn't make you gay. That's just, like, how your body is designed. But there's so much shame around that.

Yeah, absolutely. And so that's, you know, a part of my work is to, like, make this normal. You know, I pulled out the prostate massager, and I just spoke to you like, like, I'm talking about the weather, you know, And I. And that's what I want. You know, it is what it is. It's a tool. You can leverage it. You can either turn it into something to vilify and be upset about and just have shame about and all that, or you can just look at it and be, like, cool, maybe I'm into it and maybe I'm not, you know? And some people will buy some of these things and they'll leave them on a shelf inside of a closet for, like, a long time, and that's okay. They're serving a purpose, you know, that they're there. Eventually, you might pull them out of that closet and go, let's see what this is about. I can tell you anyone who wants to buy any kind of toy, which is. What is a toy? It's a thing you play with. Right. And so you have to have. You have to cultivate a little bit of that childlike innocence to go, what do we do with this thing? What else can we do with this thing? Curiosity, not. I'm going to wield this thing and be automatically good at wielding it. Like, I don't know. Right. And so you have to leave some space for, well, we gotta figure this out first, and let's see what happens. And I can tell you that, Njoy, we're still figuring that one out. I love it on my own, but when it comes to my partner and I working with it, we're, like, still figuring it out. And I'm like, oh, we're not quite there yet. And it's both of our job to make sure that we don't take it personally. I don't get upset with him because he still doesn't understand and he doesn't feel overly criticized by me leading him not to try anymore.

That is so imperative of, like, keep trying and not making each other wrong. Not feeling left out, not being like, well, you know what you're doing with the toy, so you don't need me. And just like, let's figure out a way to use this together.

Yeah. And this is not in place. This is not a competition. This is support. You're both the stars of the show. Let's not get it twisted. These things just add some flavor. And beyond the toys, your best resource is your mind and your Hands. Your mind and your hands can lead you to all kinds of interesting places that I guarantee you've never been before. And these things are just cool things to add into the mix sometimes.

And then what we have left are these two vibrators here.

Yeah, we've got a few. There's one by you two is the OG Magic wand, which you. The OG OG Magic Wand. If anyone remembers, like, Sex and the City, when Samantha goes to the Sharper Image and she's like, excuse me, sir, for the worker, I don't know if you've seen this, but he goes, yes. And she goes, my vibrator isn't working. And he goes, ma', am, that's a back massager. She goes, whatever. You know, it's like one of those, like, old school. It looks like a back massager, but when I was a kid, those had the cord and my mom had one on the bedside table in her, like, bedside drawer. And I thought it was a back massager that I just got clued in on. That also felt really good if you put it down there. I don't know if she knows that, but. So I have two vibrators. One is an internal vibrator with external stimulation, and the other one is kind of localized pinpoint. So there's all kinds of different vibrators now. And what I would say when it comes to choosing a vibrator, you gotta decide what kind of surface area you wanna work with. That's one of my main things. Do you want really localized sensation to, like, one little area that you know is your spot, or do. Are you one of those kinds of people? And think about, when you use your hand, does your finger go to the one little spot and then you have a specific kind of friction that you put in order to send you over the edge? Or are you one of those kinds of people that likes to use your whole hand and cup over your. All of your genitals and put pressure in that way? And so if you like total coverage where everything's being moved and stimulated, then use something with larger surface area, like a magic wand. And if you go right to that one little specific spot, then you can do something like a zumio, which has the little tiny tip on the end and will go right into that one little tiny spot. Now, I'll say, you know, if you want to add some various elements to the mix, and let's say it's. It gets a little kinky and you're blindfolded and a part of what you've agreed upon or that you're into is forced orgasm. When you use something that's really intense and has a very localized sensation and vibration. And it's. I'm gonna play, I'm gonna figure out where your spot is. Cause usually people have a concentrated little area. Like there's some concentrated area of nerve endings that like, once that one's hit, it's like toes curl, like everything starts vibrating. You know, the kind of like outer body experience. But I've seen people use the Zoomio or use. This is a Jimmy Jane on that little localized spot where they kind of go there and then back off, go there, back off and edge. Or they go there and they don't move it until they're essentially forced over into orgasm, which is really intense. And some people love being played with that way. This is a clandestine. You take it in the bathtub. Stingray. Yeah, yeah. It's a large surface area and you take that one in the bathtub with you.

That's called the what?

Clandestine.

Clandestine, yeah.

And so really there's all kinds of things that you can try. And I would say, how do you know what to do? What are you interested in? Ask yourself that question. And first and foremost get something that you can get comfortable with on your own. Give it a whirl and then potentially, you know, bring it into the. Into the relationship. Though there are some toys that are meant for partner use and there are some toys that, that like, it's kind of hard to flog yourself that you need a partner for.

Yes. So what is your perspective? I've heard this in the tantra space that if you're using vibrating toys, you're like desensitizing yourself.

Yeah. I just had a really in depth conversation with a doctor who teaches at, I believe the University of Florida. Her name is Lori Mintz. But I just had a big conversation with her, asking her about. She specializes in research and studying the orgasm gap. And she's been involved in research about the nerves and about vibrators and about all like if you name it and it has to do with orgasm and pleasure, like she studied it. So I was really kind of fangirling in her, in my conversation with her, but she like blankly just said, there's no such thing. That's desensitizing. And I got you go, oh, well, that depends on what they mean when they say desensitizing. What do you mean when you say that? That you don't feel anymore? That over a length of time you won't be able to feel. How long is that length of time. And I think, you know, if you're rubbing on an area and there's no lube in between, you know, let's say if I sit here and rub my hand, and I rub it, and I rub it, rub it. Dry fingers on dry skin, and I just keep going. At some point my hand's gonna get red, and at some point my skin's gonna get a little itchy and a little irritated. And so there's something putting friction on a very sensitive area of the body. So if you don't put lube there or you place a vibrator for an extended period of time on that area, it'll start to get tingly. It'll start to get kind of potentially itchy and. And it might have the sensation of kind of numbness, but it goes away. It goes away. Everything's restored. So if that's the question of desensitization, then I don't know if that's really what's actually happening there. If the question is, now I'm desensitized to other things, or I'm now only able to have an orgasm.

That's what, like, what I hear from some friends is like, I can only have an orgasm with the vibrator or even. Even with sex with a vibrator.

Yeah. And so you know what? Some people have a habit, right? And so they're wired for pleasure. The way that they've shown themselves that they achieve pleasure is through this thing. You know, if I were working with them, then I would say we're gonna put the vibrator away for a little while if they wanna work on this. If they don't, and they're okay with it, then you live your happy orgasmic life with your vibrator. If you want to expand and where you have your orgasms with your vibrator and other ways through other means, then let's put the vibrator away for a little while and give yourself some new, let's say, neural pathways to pleasure. So it'll be a practice you practiced in order to figure out how to make that vibrator work in that way. Like that. You figured that out and then you kept doing it. So let's figure something else out. Out.

I'm curious how much of, like, the way that you orgasm is based off of, like, how you're naturally born. Like, some people naturally are more of this, like, cup. Some people are more pinpointed versus, like, however you just started touching yourself for the first time, built that neurop pathway and that's because I, I've heard most people end up self pleasuring however they, they just first did it and that created the neuropathway. But I wonder if that was like how they're like biologically created or. It's just, that's just what happened to have they just saw the vibrator thing and it just happened to be.

Yeah. There's a really amazing book called Vagina, a new biography by a lady named Naomi Wolf. And in her book she talks about research in the nerve nerves that go from the brain down the spine and then they kind of like a root system go into the root and there's nerves that go towards the, the vagina and the vaginal canal and goes towards the clitoris. And then there's ones that go towards the perineum and there's ones that go towards the anus because you have a lot of nerve endings in the anus because you need to know when something's going in or out of that space. So there's a lot of nerve endings there, which is why a lot of people like some sort of anal play. But that, what she described in the book is that these nerve endings are like a fingerprint. They're unique in everybody body. And so where my spot. Air quotes is where my spot is that like gets me over the edge. Might be in a totally different location than yours, but there's a percentage of people studied that has this spot be in this particular quadrant or this particular area. But there's some people that if they stimulate where their perineum is, that sends them into orgasm, you know, and when it comes, when it comes to even the clitoris because there's also some, some in my space, I watch people kind of debate on so much. I'm just taking the newest information and running it through what seems and feels really real and talking to people and going. This is what I'm going to go with today because what I was talking about on podcasts several years ago, probably a little bit different to what I'm maybe even sharing with you, but there's this idea that there's all these different types of orgasms. But then there's some people that will argue they're all clitoral orgasms, but you're stimulating the clitoris from these, these different places. So even if it's a nipple, let's say a nipple or a breast orgasm, and there's, it's like the breasts are being tended to and they're being touched and they're being stimulated. But where's the orgasm building from that pressure is still happening in the clitoral area. And a lot of times it's coupled with some tension like their thighs. Your thighs are tense, or there's some kind of pressure internal, or you're bearing down down there. And then with every breath and then every. Every move across the breast and every pinch of the nipple and every mouth suck and whatever, there's that every breath in and breath out that you're pulsing your pelvic floor and putting pressure from the inside to your clitoris to then lead you to an orgasm or that the G spot is an orgasm, but you're putting pressure from the back part of the clitoris. And chances are a lot of people who are stimulated internally in the G spot, they're also being pressed onto, like the outer part is being massaged or pressed onto to and same and on and on and on.

Even the cervix, would that be.

And even the cervix. There's some, like, depending on the G spot and depending on the cervix. What I have discovered just in my own experiences and like hearing from other people is that it's an orgasm. It's. It almost is like beyond what I can find language for. It feels like it's beyond explanation. The clitoris is certainly stimulated, but when you get to the right amount of time and the right amount of blood flow and all of that, and you're putting pressure there where you're sent, and the way that you're sent there feels so unique. And so I think that's why people will say it's a this type of orgasm or that type of orgasm. And I think really what you're even possibly doing, even in the cervical stimulation, is there's still being stimulation of the clitoris, but it's completely. You're doing it in a very different way. And you're hitting the clitoris. Right.

You're always there for us.

Right.

Right underneath it all, the wind beneath our wings.

It's a real mvp. Yes. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, I've heard that perspective as well, but I do think they still feel quite differently too. But like. Like, I guess the clitoris is what brings it all together.

Yeah. And, you know, it's kind of so what. It's. It's what experience do you want to have? So, I mean, I've had an orgasm just on a plane taking off, and my seat not even touch. Like nothing happening. Just my seat's vibrating because, you know, just sitting cross lady in a seat and I'm like, oh my God, am I about to have an orgasm and have all these people around me? I just like close my eyes and pretend like this isn't happening.

I definitely have that from like breath work before.

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, I usually go into my like deep dark memories and there's usually someone over there to the right that's like having a full on orgasm. I'm like, when is my breath work going to leave me there, you know?

Totally. So a question kind of what you spoke about how like when the clitoris is receiving sensation, it pulses and our body tenses. But a lot of what Tantra speaks about is to, to soften and relax. But can we have an orgasm? Like in the sense that we experience orgasm without any form of tensing.

It's all again, a practice. It's another practice. That's a lot of work that I'm doing for myself and that I'm consistently working on clients with because a lot of people learn to bear down, you know, for me growing up. And like I mentioned the kind of. Well, not kind of the Catholic upbringing. And I went to Catholic school when I was a kid and I found pleasure. I learned it was a sin. And then I learned it was a sin. And then I panicked. I was like, how am I gonna undo this? I'm already going to hell. This is happening. Oh shit. And then I would teeter as my hormones continued to adjust, as I became a preteen and then eventually teenager. And I would teeter between I don't wanna sin and I can't help it. I gotta, I gotta touch it. I gotta, I gotta do something with it. Like it's just out of control, you know, I gotta like the edge of that mattress looks really great. That water faucet looks really great. The remote, the electric toothbrush, it all is like. People think guys wanna fuck everything. Both. Everybody. Actually we just say everybody. It's kind of absurd and it's understandable. Like our sex hormones are through the roof. And so when I was learning about this and really starting to piece it together, I learned to bear down, to be quiet, not to breathe, breathe. Not to make sounds, to close my eyes. And that's what was patterned. So like kind of to go back to the patterns, you know, and how you go into self pleasuring or just pleasure in general. And I brought that with me into relationships. And so it has been an active practice for me to in my head, have a checklist. Open your eyes. If I want to open my eyes. Breathe. Slow down, down. Like Take that localized energy and bring it everywhere, you know, and sometimes it feels good to just leave it there, and sometimes it feels good to disperse it. And so I would say for my husband and I, sometimes we're just like, we got some maintenance sex on the. On the schedule, where it's like, we just need to get it done. I'm not so concerned with it, but we have a practice that's at least every month. Occasionally we get into a cadence every week. And it's sex magic. And that's all tantric. Every part of it is very slow and intentional. Ritualistic, has a certain playlist. There's certain elements that are to it. We set intentions and we know that that sexual experience is gonna be long and we know it's gonna involve multiple orgasms. Chances are I'll cry at some point of it. There's just in and out and it's so beautiful. We create like this little portal vortex kind of thing. And then sometimes we're playing with something kind of kinky. And a lot of times the tantric exercises of like eye gazing and breathing together and slowing down, we infuse that into some of the other things. You know, if we're going to try something new, we're going to eye gaze first so we can connect. That way we can disperse the jitters of like, we're going to do something new. We eye gaze and we remind each other other that it's okay if it's a flop. We're not gonna hold it against each other, so we're not gonna take it personally to the best that we can. So we try to set ourselves up for that success. And then a lot of times with the kinky play that we do, it's very sensual. It's all about creating sensations and holding a container and a space for the other person to go on a ride.

So what does that look like for you? Do you guys just say, you know, my desires in this experience are xyz, or do you kind of just have your little bag, mystery bag, and see what happens? Because it sounds like it's a mix of sensual and kinky together.

Yeah, yeah. I mean, there's little elements of kink that kind of weave its way through a lot of our lives now, because I've introduced my husband to that and there's certainly elements of our lives that is very sensual, which is very important to him. And it's become important to me because it's important to him. The one thing that we consistently work on, on, you know, sometimes we're Better than others is the energetic component. He's getting much better at it. So in practice, we are actively trying to conceive. So that'll be the first part so that I'll say. So our intention when I'm ovulating is kind of obvious. We'd like for this to create a human if it's time. And so this past window, we actually had a hotel room in the city and we had that boat booked. And Jordan. So the previous week I led our experience. And then this time that I'm referring to, he led the experience. So we went to a hotel in the city. We brought color. Changing light bulbs, where we change the lamps in the room so that we can make them red. We bring a speaker and we have certain playlists that we like. And a lot of them, if you just type Tantric sex, we love just whatever tantric sex playlist comes up. We like music that doesn't have words and all that. We brought all kinds of sensual implements. So the pinwheel. And so if you're watching this and seeing the video, then you'll see him holding a pinwheel up a Wartenberg wheel, which looks kind of scary, but it's not really all that scary. It just feels prickly. We brought, you know, a pinwheel looks.

Like a gynecological tool.

I hope it's not a gynecological tool. It should look like a nerve tool to check and see if you've got.

So you put this on each other's backs.

Sensitive areas. Okay. Backs of arms, kind of the bend in your elbow, the backs of the thighs, the back of the knees, bottom of the foot, around the ankle, along the sides of the neck. Yeah. Kind of in the nape of the neck as well. And so we bring elements like that, Feathers, candle wax. We brought all kinds of different things with us. We started the night with. With a connection card deck just to soften it up so that we asked each other questions we've never asked before. And so we started with that and changed.

I love you guys. You're so cute. I want to do this.

Oh, my gosh. Yes. And so this kind of answers the question before, where it's like, how do you keep the passion in a long term relationship? You gotta prioritize it. Yeah.

Like booking a hotel room, bringing the feathers and the candle wax and playing a card game. I'm like, yes. Manifesting this for my future relationship.

Yes, yes, yes. And then eventually Jordan said, lay down. We also bring our waterproof blanket everywhere we go, you know? Cause it's Just, it represents sex to us. It represents. Actually, it represents intimacy, you know, and so he said, lay down, and I laid down. And we had massage oil. And so he started with just rubbing my whole body, you know, and my shoulders. I hold a lot of tension there. Work on my computer. And I don't know if you know this part, but we both work for my business. And so I'm his boss in a lot of ways, I'm his boss. And so that is, like, a power dynamic that we get to navigate. And I am actively working on. How do I surrender? How do I surrender to my self? How do I surrender to pleasure in general? How do I surrender to my husband who wants to please me? And if my dick's out too, like, we're not going anywhere. It's not getting where. It's just, like, it's not gonna happen, right? And so I gotta, like, tuck it. But he started off with just giving me touch. And that's always a great place to start because that's very grounding. Gives him something to do. Gives me something to just, like, chill the fuck out and just surrender. And then he led me through an experience. So we had our card deck. We set intentions for our time together. We always do. And then laid me down, rubbed me. And then eventually, once I felt nice and yummy and that touch was good, then he started, like, kind of stretching the touch, too, like around the curve of my back and my butt. And, you know, just the way that he started touching me had a little bit more of the elements mixed in. So it wasn't just this grounding, earthy touch. Then it started to feel more fluid. So kind of the element of water. And so just you can play with the elements here, too. Then in fires, like, when he's kind of. Of, like, working it a little bit. And so you can also, like, make some of your touches feel a little bit more. Have a little bit more heat in them, and then energetic, which I consider to be very airy in this regard. Then he started to bring in, which he knows I, like, lose it over. He started to bring, like, very. Almost. Almost not touching me, touch down my spine, and it's just like, fireworks every time. And his breath. And then he started bringing different elements. The feather and the pinwheel. And then he'd go back to touching, and then he would rub my hair a little bit. And he was whispering affirmations into my ear, telling me things that he believes in me and that he knows that I. That I. That I love you guys.

And I want Movie.

I know, I know, I know. We should do how to make a Porno. But, yeah. Then eventually it led to. I was so turned on, even though I wasn't, like, actively doing anything to turn myself. Myself on. I was open. Every part of me was open.

Did you teach him all of these things or he just knew them. Okay, you taught him.

Yes.

I'm like, where do I find one of those?

I've taught him everything he knows. Yes.

But I mean, send him to training school.

You know what? He's just watched me do it. He didn't always work for me. Slash, we didn't always work together because I very much consider it a collaborative.

Yeah. Most now dudes aren't teaching each other these things. It's like, we have to initiate them.

He's teaching it now. He's like, yo, dude. Yo, dudes, bros, listen, listen. Five Element massage.

It's where it's at.

Listen. But I think what's really great for him is that he's, like a frat guy. He looks and feels and is so, quote, unquote, quote, normal. So he's not like one of these Shivas in the gown with the long hair and the ponytail and the whatever that is just so hard for regular guys to connect with. He's like your best bro that wants to play games and crack inappropriate politically incorrect jokes and be like, I hear you when I see you, I feel you. So I love that for him. I love that certainly for us. But I think he just watched me teach it enough and then started cluing in. And then eventually I got over being critical because that was a thing. I had a mentor of mine, Omra Paul. He's Adam. He's a enormous Indian man, just, like, big in stature, very tall, and is, like, kind of awkward and is very awesome. And he's older. And one of our experiences, I went to a Tantra BDSM experience where it's where Tantra and BDSM merged together. And I was student first round going through this. I've been through it now a couple of times, and I can't remember what I asked, but it was some, like, contrarian type thing. It was something like. Something that had to do with, like, him not showing up in the way that I wanted. And, like, some. Something like that. And he basically told me, cut the shit. Like, basically very direct. And he was like, be a cheerleader or don't show up. Like, he just, like, really hit me, like, you know where he was, like, cheer him on and make him win. Make him the Winner, like, make him your winner. And I was just hit with it. Like, oh, I am in our way right now, you know, and if I don't stop with my bullshit, he's gonna stop trying. And then I'm gonna be this like cactus, like, prickly, kind of hard to surrender, hard to touch and get close to. And he's just, what's that gonna cry? Create a people pleaser, nice guy that's like, you know what if you won't let me do, then just tell me what I need to do so that.

Which is such a turn off.

And it is, but it's my fault if he does that. And I say fault. We're both at fault, so to speak. But we both have responsibility here. But that's certainly like in our world, men have been told, like, you have to listen, you have to do all these things. And it has them kind of abandon their inner masculine. That's like, hey, hey, stop. And what I loved about om, one time he had someone in the group that kind of was being bratty towards him a little bit, and like the questions she was asking. And when she asked one question, he went, are you done yet? And then he goes, I mean, I can't remember exactly what he said, but he goes, I have all the time, I have all day. Work this out. Whatever you got going on, just work it out. What else do you need to say in order to do, like, I've got time. Which basically meant I, I will be present with you, like, whatever you've got to work out of your system. And then we'll begin, like, let her kind of like finish. And she like had her moment. And then he goes, are we good to continue? And it's like, that's present a lot of times in relationships, but like, the guy that you love is not knowing what to do with it. You know, om's a master at handling those kinds of things. And I think I love for more women's like kind of aha bulb to go off in. That is like when you, when you are challenged by what's the role you are playing in it? Because to you, you think you're doing all these things consciously, to you, you think you're doing all these things and he's just not meeting you. But there's much more to this picture, you know, and there's much more areas where you can take responsibility. And it's one thing to say, okay, I take responsibility for this thing, but then what are you gonna do about it? What really hard conversation are you going to have that's going to lead you both to deeper connection and deeper love. And a lot of these things start with conversations, which is like, a lot of times very unsexy.

But you need to have those unsexy, real vulnerable, honest conversations to have these beautiful, sexy, like, customized for you, you experiences. And I think that, like, for me, as a feminine being, it's like, yes, I want a man who's like, not gonna take my shit and is, like, gonna lead and, you know, like, listen to me 100%, but not, like, give in to my drama. So there's like something really just like, sexy about that energy. But of course, there's just so much trauma in the feminine collective of people being like that who are not in integrity and not in alignment that I think for women, and it's like we have to have had our guards up because we cannot trust. And that's the beauty of truly being in a conscious relationship where you can trust him to lead. And that requires you to surrender. And that surrendering means it's not always the exact experience you want either, you know, and sometimes that surrender is him taking you on his journey and you just get to be curious and see, and maybe it's not how you would design it, but you're also, also here for him as well. And I think there's so much beauty in making sex about both of you guys coming together rather than a this one's for me and that one's for you kind of thing.

Yeah. Yeah. Okay, I'm gonna get mine. All right, flip over. Okay, you're gonna get yours. You good? You good? Okay, let's take a shower.

Right?

You know, totally. And sometimes that's cool.

Sometimes, yeah. But it's like, I think many long term relationships default to that because you know each other's bodies so well, you know their parts, so you're like, okay, we're done. And it's like, sex is not just to make each other come as fast as possible. It's to connect.

Right, Right.

And so much more you shared.

Yes, and so much more. But have you ever had a really yummy, juicy sexual experience and you didn't come for me?

No.

No.

Yeah, I. I'm.

It's pretty. Is it relatively easy? Okay, so I've had, just out of the plethora of sexual experiences, I would say, across my life, there have been. Have there been ones where maybe it was so yummy, like, the orgasm was like. I would say maybe the cherry on top, like the experience itself was so good. And I know some Women kind of wish that orgasm occasionally wasn't even on the table. Where it's like, can I just have my experience without the pressure to have an orgasm? Or actually I'm really into this and as soon as it shifts to this goal oriented, I gotta make you come, then it's like no one can make you come. Right? Yeah. And if. But can it be okay if I actually don't want to and I just want to be with you in this thing and I'm not going to get to an orgasm. But why are we prioritizing the success of this experience based on if I have an orgasm or not? Then we've just taken it away from me having pleasure and towards you achieving a thing. Yeah.

Opening up that orgasmic container. And an analogy that I once learned from a tantra teacher is that, that your orgasm is like filling up a cup and it's like, okay, if you have a little teacup, right. You just put in a little bit of water and it's very easy for it to tip over and you have the orgasm. It's a little teacup orgasm. If you have a big cup, it's a bigger one. If you have a gallon, it's gonna take a lot more time to fill that gallon up with water. So that's a lot of riding that orgasmic wave, edging, letting your body breathe, expanding into that orgasmic energy, taking breaks, pausing, filling up that cup to have that full body orgasm that you know is so much beyond the genitals, but it's like full body, but you can only get there if you're like, you know, when you're at the sink and you're waiting and you're waiting, you're getting impatient. And I think for so many of us too, we're so timestrapped in our society that we're like, I don't have time for three hour long sex. It's like, you know, and I don't.

Have time for that every week either. Right.

And it makes sense. It doesn't need to be an every week thing, but it's like if you have the time to watch a movie once a month, like you have time to have three hour long sex once a month or you know, however often you want to do it. But we need to prioritize these like.

Just like going on journeys with people.

And exploring and being curious and seeing where it takes us. Otherwise I feel what happens is you take sex for granted and you think it's supposed to just somehow magically happen in your busy schedules and it Doesn't. And then you grow apart in many ways.

Yeah. And that's. You're underscoring a really big deal, like a really big thing for people. So Jordan and I schedule most of our sex. I want to be conscientious. It's not just like, okay, at this time. Okay, then we need to just Google.

Cal, please confirm two hours ahead.

Then we show up and then we get naked and then we have sex. This is a block of time that we're both committed to not filling with something else. That we're gonna be intimate.

Yes.

We don't know necessarily. Sometimes we plan it ahead of time. Like we knew we were going to a hotel, but it was the before we were leaving. To go to the hotel is when we started choosing what we were going to do. So it wasn't like it wasn't so prescriptive, so to speak, though if he thought going to a hotel equals sex. And I thought going to a hotel means we're gonna go out to a nice dinner and we're gonna go go to a show and then I'm gonna be full and I'm gonna be tired and I don't wanna have sex after those two things. Then it's two people that are misaligned with their desires. So even then we need to talk about it. So every week Jordan and I look at our calendars and go, where are intimacy opportunities? Because we both have people in our worlds that want our attention. Lots of people, like, want calls and there's clients and there's podcasts, and there's just all these opportunities for us to stay busy and externally reacting to things. Things. And so it's definitely a practice again that we continue to leave time open for each other because it's so important. And when we don't do these check ins, we call them a check in and we do them every Sunday. And I lead because this leads us to connection. He leads, like the business of our lives, those meetings where we're talking about our finances and stuff like that. And I lead our connection. If the meeting's about our connection, the leader in love's gonna lead it. So. And that's just what works for us. And then I go, okay, what are you curious about? Like, what are you interested in? And sometimes based off of where I'm at in my cycle, I'm actually not super down for much. I kind of just wanna be held and, you know, and he's happy to oblige and respond. And so a part of our check in is him taking a look at the calendar as well and looking at the app and seeing where I'm at in my cycle. And a lot of times he's tracking. Tracking, you know, because he, he, he's tracked even before we were trying to conceive. And so we intentionally have date nights. We intentionally do deep dives where we look at how are we doing in our relationship. Like, are we achieving what we want to achieve? Are we experiencing what we want to experience? So we're like consistently evaluating so that we are actually being intentional with our relationship. And then we make it a priority to at least once a quarter go on a trip. So we're getting ready to do it. We're leaving tomorrow to go to San Diego, which he's got some family there too, so we'll wind up seeing them at some point in it. But it's our quarterly love trip, we call it, where it's a reset. We're pressing the reset button. And what we've just discovered over time is that every time we go and do it, we feel like new people. Like, we get so wrapped in the doing in our lives and the busyness and the checking things off and then having the sex and that we, like, forget that we're really interested in each other. Other.

Yeah. I feel like when you travel, it's like you're a new person, you're in a new hotel room, you're not so busy, and you end up having the best sex.

Yeah. Yeah.

So it's like bringing that into the home, but also like traveling. And I love how you guys have like making love a priority, making intimacy, making romance a priority, because ultimately that's what we want. And that's often why people cheat or, you know, break up or whatever things, because they're missing that, like romance. That's often easier in the first year of relationship, but it doesn't only have to be in the first year of relationship. By doing these things, you can keep that spark and that sexiness and actually build it even more so because you know each other so well and you can be more playful and more explorative and dive deeper into each other, but both of you need to be communicative and make it a priority.

Yeah, for sure. And there's a thing that winds up happening in long term relationships and that is in the longer term, in the first couple to a few years, it's, well, now I have assumptions. You, I've done this thing. You, it leads to you doing this thing. So that must be how you work. And so now I assume And I don't leave you any space to unfold, to transform, to show me more of you, you know, and that can be very vulnerable from both parties. I want to be with you so deeply that even at year seven, you're 17, you're 27, I'm still completely and totally enamored by how you continue to unfold for yourself and for me. And so some people just get into this assumption and they're trapped there. And so like when people come into various containers with Jordan and I were like, we're just gonna stop this assumption thing for everyone, just call it out. Because otherwise you're gonna stay where you're at, assuming on the other person and then they're going to get self critical or insecure and they're not going to want to show you what's possibly under there because then it winds up not being safe. So there's much more. If you're in a long term relationship, it's kind of wild, you know, to get across the other person and go, you know what, I'm ready, I'm ready to learn even more about you. I'm ready to check the assumptions and the expectations and I want to learn more about you. And that's very vulnerable because you might be sitting across from someone that you've been in a relationship with for 10 years and in one conversation you're going to go, holy shit, how did you have all of that inside of you and I didn't know? Or you're going to sit across from someone and they're going to be so deeply moved by the fact that they don't know what they want. And you're going to see that they're challenged by that and that they don't know the direction to go in. And that gives you an opportunity to hold them and say, you know what, let's find out together. And that's just so sweet and vulnerable and that in your teammates, you know, and sex like we were talking about, it's leveraged for so many things and in that regard it's very healing.

Absolutely. Couldn't have said it better myself. And I know now being single again, I'm like, I feel like I'm a new person sexually that I want to explore myself. And I'm like, wow, I probably always have been, but because I was in a relationship I just, just got stuck in whatever that pattern was. So it just shows we're always changing sexually. Right? But sometimes in the relationship we just stick with however we entered into it. But being in open communication and you know, just like we change our diet and our books that we're reading and all the things, like we're changing sexually all the time and inviting in these new edges and explorations and never assuming anything about that person based on how they were. So I love that. I love all the tools that you share. Thank you for sharing, sharing all of these fun toys with us. And where can people connect with you and learn from you even further?

Yeah, this was a big convo and of course it's still a drop in the bucket.

Yes.

You know, a drop in the well. So I would encourage people to just really inspire and stoke their curiosity. Listen to more podcasts, read more audiobooks, read actual books, texts that have to do with just expanding your sexual horizon and sex education recommend. Yeah. So I mentioned Vagina, a new biography by Naomi Wolf earlier. I love Wednesday Martin's Untrue, which is a great book. And it's basically, I think the tag is some something to the effect of why everything we. We think we know about women's sexuality and infidelity is untrue. Something like that. I love Sex at Dawn, which is a heady book, anthropologically based, but it's like a 22 hour audible. It's a thick one, but it's great. It changed. Changed everything for me. I love the ethical slide. If you're interested in kink, there's Playing well with Others and the Ultimate Guide to Kink, which is great because it just describes pretty much everything. Yeah. So I love books, I love audiobooks. And if you're curious about something that's in a different category, the place that you can find me, I'm full of resources and recommendations and a lot of them are on our site. So you can find me at thatsexchick across all the social media platforms. Shoot me a dm. Be like, do you have a resource for. For pegging? Do you have a resource for, you know, BDSM as a newbie? Do you have a resource for kinky dating or dating more intentionally? I've got. I've got it all. We also have a podcast as well, so. And it's called that Sex Chick, but our company is sexandlove Co. So a lot of my resources and recommendations are there on our site. And then there's also a section that's got freebies. And so like I mentioned on Sunday, Jordan and I sit down for a check in and we've done it so many times that there's a method to it that then I put into a PDF and Made it free on the website. So if you're like, I don't even know where to begin with being more intentional and, like, figuring out what kind of sex we want to have and what kind of life we want to live, there's a guide there. And so there's all kinds of different tools. There's a want, will, won't list that's going to ask you if you're like, I don't know what I want, start with that list. It's over 300 questions. Questions. Do you want it? Will you do it? Do you not want it? Won't you do it? And so those are some of my most recommended resources to get started. And we have them free. And then anytime you have questions, I'm available and accessible at that sexchick on Instagram.

Beautiful. Well, thank you so much for your generosity and your wisdom and for sharing with us today. We are so enlightened, so turned on and grateful.

Me too. Thank you. Thank you. I feel so blessed to be able to share this with you first and foremost, and of course, your audience.

Yo, that was a fucking vibe.

I loved that conversation.

It was so juicy, so fun, so rich, so playful. And after that, she actually took me into a special private room, AKA my business partner's office, and lit some candles and gave me this beautiful sensorium experience with, like, feathers and, like, sharp things. And she even tried this, like, electrical thing on me. I was actually not really into that, but it was really cool to just, like, receive different sensations. She even tried, like, kind of these, like, spanking motions with, like, her. Her hand, like, rounded versus flat versus, like, a slap. And it was really cool because I have never really been a kink person and it showed me that you actually.

Can have, you know, a lot of.

Play with different sensations. And it doesn't need to be painful either. It's just about trying new things and getting out of routine. And it's definitely something I want to incorporate into future relationships and loverships. So I'm so grateful for that experience. And the key to having the sex that you want is communication and conversation and being in your voice.

So this is why I created my.

Speak with Soul course, which is available right now for 50% off special launch price that you're never going to see again. So this course will take you from feeling unconfident in your voice, feeling like, I really want to start speaking more, whether it's on social media or just in my Life, to in 21 days feeling so confident that at the end I'm actually gonna guide you through recording your own podcast intro. Even if you don't want a podcast right now, like you're gonna get to that level, I'm gonna guide you through.

It step by step.

So head over to speakwithsoulcourse.com. you can find that link in the.

Show notes, and it's available right now.

For a special launch price, so don't sleep on it.

Boo Boo. All right.

I hope you love this episode, and I'll see you in the next one. Namaste.

It.