496: Noticing Signs? The Science Behind Synchronicities and How It's All Connected with Robert Grant

Imagine there's sort of like a veil between the conscious and the subconscious mind. And that veil is this veil of forgetfulness. And there's no way to pass notes through that veil or communicate through that veil. You have to learn the Morse code of communication between those two realms. And synchronicities are that Morse code.

Hi, I'm Sahara Rose, and this is the Highest Self podcast, a place where you discuss what makes you your soul's highest evolvement. One thing I have been fascinated about my entire life are synchronicities. So these are when you experience these coincidences, and I'm making little quote marks with them, but little signs that feel like the universe is talking to you. So maybe you notice different angel numbers or you have a specific number that anywhere you go, you notice a license plate or it's on the clock or it's on someone's shirt, or maybe, like myself, you just feel like you're in constant conversation with the universe. So I know for myself, oftentimes when I'm writing and I'm listening to music, the lyrics will tell me exactly what I meant to write upon next. Especially if I'm stuck on a word, it, like, gives me the words through the music. Oftentimes I will have conversations with people that I, at that moment, don't realize how significant they are until later. Like, I'll have a conversation with someone about relationships, and then a few days later, be in that exact same situation that that conversation preparing me for. Or sometimes it's even something catastrophic that needed to happen. I always talk about how when you are living in alignment with your dharma, your soul's purpose, you experience flow, kriya. So that's when you meet the right person at the right time and you feel these synchronicities. But when you're out of alignment with your dharma, your soul's purpose, you experience karma, which is bounded action by the universe. So those are the barricades and blocks that are actually the universe telling you that something is out of alignment and that you need to make a shift to come back into alignment. So oftentimes at the beginning, it's a tap, tap, tap. You feel a little anxious. Something feels off. We still don't listen because most people in the world feel that way all the time. And then it turns into a punch, punch, punch, something bigger. You know, maybe you're having panic attacks or you really don't want to go to work, or you're experiencing fights with this person or whatever else. And oftentimes we still don't listen because we're stubborn little humans. And then it can be an on your knees moment, an accident, a catastrophe, a divorce, something really big that it's like, okay, you need to look at this area of your life. And that doesn't mean that the universe was out to get you. No, it's actually its way of protecting you. It's telling you that something is off. And that's why there's that pain. That's why there's that resistance. It's the barricades on the end of the highway. It's to get you back on track. And then when you get back on track towards your dharma, your soul's purpose, your fullest expression, the big reason why you, you are here. And that's exactly what I teach in Dharma Coaching Institute. When you're living in alignment with that, you start to notice that the universe is propelling you in the direction of your purpose. Because you are living in alignment with your unique design. You're sharing the gifts that you are here to share. You are literally operating at your fullest potential. And that's what Source, God, universal consciousness wants. It wants us all to be living our highest timelines. Because that's what's going to create the best world for all of us. We need the singers, we need the poets, we need the builders. We need everything. And you were designed with your own unique archetypes, your own unique experiences. Even the obstacles you've overcome were your training ground to prepare you for embodying your soul's purpose. Because you may have been born with this purpose, but it doesn't mean you were born embodying it. You need to go through those life challenging lessons to give you the tools, the grit, the resilience, the confidence, the strength, the voice. We experience contrast to help us see, okay, this doesn't feel right. And now how can I come into an alignment again? So in my own experience, it has been through my greatest life tragedies. In fact, going through health challenges in my early 20s, doctors telling me that I was going through perimenopause when I was 21 years old, then learning how to heal my body, studying Ayurveda, which led to me writing my first and second book on Ayurveda, then dealing with issues with my family, which caused me to go down this healing journey and looking at the ancestral patterns and all of the ways the feminine was oppressed. And being the first woman in my family to really go out there and work and share her gifts. And then experiencing my divorce and that heartbreak and looking deeper into myself and the ways I wasn't fully meeting and showing up for myself. So all of these initiations are preparing us for what is to come. So I share all about how you can actually turn your pain into your purpose, turn your mess into your message, turn that bronze into gold, which is alchemy. In my new Pain to Purpose series, I share with you my story of my recent dark night of the soul and how it led to even higher levels of expression, freedom, joy, even being a headline DJ at Envision Festival to 1500 people in the jungle, all coming through, really looking at what was underneath the hood of my car because it's a constant journey, it's a constant spiral and then there are higher initiations required. So head over to the Show Notes to sign up for the Pain to Purpose series. It is absolutely free. It's going to give you that little judge that you might need right now of looking at maybe some of the obstacles in your life and seeing how you can alchemize them into gold. And doors are open right now to become a certified sole purpose and spiritual life coach with me at the Dharma Coaching Institute. So this is our ICF recognized school that trains sole purpose and spiritual life coaches. Through our six month tried and true method, we've graduated over 1500 coaches and have had incredible transformational experiences of many people. Now full time coaching, being paid by corporations, hosting their own retreats, having their one on one private practices and so much more. So again, head over to the Show Notes. You're going to be able to join the Pain for Purpose series and learn more about the Dharma Coaching Institute. So now let's get into this episode. Today I am sitting with Robert Grant. You may recognize him from the Gaia Show Codex. He is a man of the mysteries who has actually discovered one of the biggest discoveries in ancient Egyptian mythology. And in today's conversation, he's going to be merging metaphysics, math and science with spirituality to help us actually see how many of these claims that we talk about, such as synchronicities, are actually scientifically and mathematically proven. So this is a great conversation, especially if you're someone that's maybe a little bit more skeptical or you tend to just be a little bit more on that left brain side that you need more math and research to believe something or to share it with your partner who may be more like that. I love seeing the way that math and music, spirituality and science can go hand in hand. And this is a conversation that's going to help you see that these aren't actually different sides of ourselves, but they're actually interrelated. So without further ado, let's welcome Robert Grant on the Highest Self podcast. All right, well, welcome, Robert, to the Highest Self podcast. It's so great to have you here.

Great to be here.

The first question I would love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?

What makes me my highest self? I think my authentic self. So I think I spent the first half of my life probably trying to be my ideal in every single way. And I think the second half of my life has been spent realizing that I was already ideal. And it's like we. From the moment we're born, we experience separation. We start carving off parts of ourselves that we think are not really what we want to be, because those parts bring us shame and guilt. So we sort of just cut it. I think of it like a block of cheese. You start off with this big block of cheese, and then by the end, you've got this thin pillar and you've separated yourself from all the rest of it, when actually the great lesson is to learn to bring and integrate all those aspects of yourself that you've cut away from yourself. In my case, I'd been a musician who gave up music. I was an artist who gave up art because it was something I didn't want to associate with. I was a serious business guy and into my left brain, very much into mathematics and logic. And I thought my whole job here on earth was to learn to be a better judge. And what I've realized over time was actually that what I thought was black and white was actually more gray than black or white. And a lot of the ors that I was living and experiencing actually became ands. And then I started realizing that I am what I've been looking for. So my highest self is realizing the beauty of the uniqueness of what I am and just integrating that and accepting it fully and loving it fully. And as I experience that more and more, then the world around me starts to become more like that, too, and.

You start to experience the synchronicities that are guiding you there, that want you there. So I really want to dive into this, because I heard you on another podcast, and I was like. Because I've been really devoted to synchronicities and being in conversation with the universe in that way. But, you know, sometimes we even question ourselves. Like, even when we had a zoom call, I'm like, you know, sometimes I even question, like, am I making this up in my head? Am I? When you say red car, you start noticing red cars everywhere. So is it like my own bias in my mind? So I'm curious, first of all, how do you see asynchronicity? What is your definition and your understanding of it? Let's start there. And I got some more layers I want to get into.

I see it as a moment. Carl Jung says that you can actually track your progression through the individuation process by the degree and number of synchronicities you experience in register. And I believe that wholeheartedly. And so what I realized is that all along a lot of these synchronicities were around, but I wasn't necessarily tracking them and noticing them. You know, I'd wake up every morning at like 1:11 or 4:32 or 1:37, and I was like, how is it always one of these three numbers? I mean, it's kind of bizarre. I mean, obviously I have some sort of clock inside my body that is running all the time and somehow telling me to wake up at this time, because that's time I have to go to the bathroom. But wait a minute. Is it really that way all day long, too? How is it that I'm seeing the same cycle of numbers through my life all over and over and over again? And is it really that these things are something separate from me? Or is it really that what I'm experiencing is the outside world around me is really just my you inverse. And this is the way that the higher self and your subconscious mind can communicate with your conscious mind through synchronicities. It's like imagine there's sort of like a veil between the conscious and the subconscious mind. And that veil is this veil of forgetfulness. And there's no way to pass notes through that veil or communicate through that veil. You have to learn the Morse code of communication between those two realms. And synchronicities are that Morse code. It allows you to communicate with your higher self. It allows you to connect. And when you finally do communicate with the subconscious mind or the you inverse, that's when you're starting to integrate the superconscious mind. And every moment can be a beautiful synchronicity if we just start to notice what's happening around us. But we have to be present and we have to be aware and realize that we're not disconnected from the world around us, but actually we're just a part of that larger consciousness that is us.

I love that universe. You inverse. That the universe is you inverse. It's a reflection of you.

It's an inverted you.

Yes, so my question is, then, who is behind these synchronicities? What is the energy behind it and what does it want?

So I think what it wants is, as I kind of gave the analogy when we start off, I remember in 2017, I started drawing out what I was seeing in my mind as musical notes because I was a musician also, and I was noticing all these correspondences in mathematics to music. Most people that bring in a lot of new mathematical discovery happen to also be musicians. And we know Bernard Riemann because he gives us something that's called the prime number conjecture, right? It's prime number distribution, how prime numbers are distributed out into infinity. And he wrote this conjecture that's never been proven yet, still unproven. But most people know Riemann for being a musician. He wrote Neo Riemannian tuning. So he was a very brilliant musician who also happened to be a number theorist. And so what you find is that math and music are just opposites of each other in a way. You could say that music is the way that we enjoy music, but we do it through the abstract concept of it. The center point of those two things is geometry. So geometry definitely is the music that we enjoy with our eyes, and music is the geometry that we enjoy with our ears. So when you start thinking in those terms and the math is the abstract notion of it all, the language beneath it, the source code beneath it all, then you start realizing that what is really happening here is I've been separating out as a higher self. Imagine you're a higher consciousness. That higher consciousness wants to experience itself through your eyes, through your unique perspective, your unique way of viewing the world is the highest value you can bring to the Akashic Record. The Akashic Record wants to expand with more and more details.

What is Akashic Record? For someone that.

The Akashic Record is a field, right? It's a data bank. You could think of it like a blockchain. It's like a blockchain of everything that has happened through time. And what are those things? Well, it's a blockchain of all of our emotional experiences. It's literally a blockchain of our emotions.

That has ever happened and will ever happen.

That has ever happened and will ever happen. And in India, I know we have a mutual friend in Deepak. So Deepak asked me to come with him once to Kerala. And I wasn't able to go with him on that trip. But he told me that when he goes to Kerala, he gets this banana leaf reading, right? That gives you your whole naughty Leaf. Yes, exactly. The Nadi leaf. And I was so excited to do this, I went and did it anyway. But I didn't go with him because I couldn't make it. I had a board conflict that same week. But basically the idea is that there's a record of all of the experiences that we have, all of the incarnations of you that are happening actually simultaneous to this moment of now. And that record is basically this blockchain storage of all of the emotions. Now, we can't track time without motion. So if we think about dimension for just a moment, right? Remember in school, a single line would be the first dimension, right? If we then put another axis on that line. So we have an X axis. Now we have a Y axis. Now we can have two dimensions, and we measure that in units squared, right? So we can measure area because you could take, you know, going up the Y axis and to the right on the X axis, you could basically have five and five. So then the area would be 25 for that. And so that's how we measure it. In the third dimension, we add a Z axis, right? So now there's a depth dimension. It's not just flat anymore. And that depth dimension allows us to measure things in volume, right? So then you would just take each one of those sides if it was all equal, and you'd be S to the third power, right? So the side to the third power. Well, the fourth dimension is time. And what that requires is motion, right? So motion. So you could say that time itself is a recording of all motion. But I find it interesting and analogous that actually what we experience through every moment of time that we experience is really the sum of all of our perceptions that then lead to emotional results. And emotion and motion are closely related to each other. Because if you wanted to experience yourself through someone else's eyes, right? So the one divides itself into the many simply for the joy of observing itself through the eyes of this other number, this other person, and then also having that group or the many come back into the number one again eventually. So the one divides itself in the many simply for the joy, ultimately, of becoming one again. So each of these perceptions that we have are not actually related to the things that happen to us, because what actually happens to us is not necessarily what truly happened to us. What do I mean by that? Everybody has their own lens of perception. So if we walked out onto your street outside here and we witnessed and we were eyewitness to a crime, and then we ended up having to go to court to testify about that crime and there were 30 other witnesses that saw the same crime. Let's say there was an old woman who got robbed on the street. How many different accounts would there be of what happened? At least 30. Right. And would they all be the same? You would think that they would be the same. They're not the same very often. That's one of the biggest challenges when you go to court, because many eyewitnesses to what happened all have entirely different accounts of what happened. It's because we cannot separate ourselves from our own observation bias, from our experience. And so if we're living every single moment, we think that, oh, this happened to me, or that happened to me, that's not actually what happened to you necessarily. We see the world not as it is, but as we are. So what happens is we then say, this happened to me, and we make an interpolation. We interpret what occurred. And that interpretation is an observation that comes from our conditioning biases, ultimately. So therefore, we then cannot differentiate between what actually happened to us. Right. And what we perceive happened to us. So what we say happened to us is actually just the sum of our perceptions. And that perception leads to emotional states, right? So it's like an inducement of an emotional state. And you can go through life not having any control over your emotions and just letting external stimuli stimulate you into one feeling or another. And you could be all over the map until you find your center and you realize that this is actually happening to you. You can actually grasp it and get control of it and say, I'm not going to perceive it this way. I'm going to perceive it a different way altogether. And when we do that, it keeps a record in the akashic field because it's a sum of all the motion states and emotion states that we experience. So we can tap into those emotional states in that moment and we can revisit those places. And when you actually raise your consciousness to a high enough level, you can access that akashic field of information, which is all information in it, all the emotional states and all the stimuli that basically led to those emotional outcomes.

So what I struggle with understanding is then what's the difference between an emotion or emotion that you actually did versus didn't do?

If it's all being recorded, it's how you remember it. First of all, because there is something called retrocausality, which you can go back. Have you ever had a situation where you said, gosh, that was terrible, and then like a year later came back.

To that and said, oh, in one yes.

That was the best thing. I dodged a bullet, right? Oh, my gosh. That was like, the best thing that ever happened to me. Right? We've all had that experience. Time has this way of flipping polarity of circumstance and perception, right? So there becomes a retro causal nature of it, because then that is also incredibly healing. Because once you finally have that realization that what happened to you actually happened for your highest benefit, then you no longer feel the victim and you can let go of that trauma. I don't even like to use the term trauma, to be honest, because trauma implies I had nothing to do with.

Implies something negative that's taking away from you.

It implies something negative and that you don't ultimately have control. You're not the captain of your soul. You're not the master of your fate. I believe that we are the master of our fate and we are the captive of our soul. And that we do have a tremendous amount of power over how we choose to perceive what happens around us. And what often happens to us is that we go into these modes where we've become the hammer that's always searching for a nail, and we don't even realize it. So if we think we're a victim, we will be victimized over and over and over again. If instead you feel, like, empowered, you don't feel the victim, you're not victimized anymore. And even the circumstances you might have said from one angle could have looked like you got victimized. It can become an incredible source of empowerment towards you. Right? And I know you went through similar. A very challenging circumstance that you told me about in our last conversation and now. But it's so incredible how quickly you've already gone into that new polarity of.

Perception by seeing it as an ultimate gift of transmutation and knowing that that's what life gives us. It's to turn that bronze into gold and to continue to have these deeper initiations to take us to deeper levels of embodiment that we would not have been able to reach had it not been through those transformative periods. And I've noticed so many more synchronicities since, going through this journey of just, like, constant, constant confirmation of being in and out of alignment through flow, and then also through that, you know, bounded energy. So coming back to my question of, like, who's behind these synchronicities? What does this you inverse, what does this God source consciousness want?

So imagine if you could multiply yourself by your U inverse. So if you have a number, and let's call that number really a Light signature, because we can convert a spectrum of light into a numerical representation. Right? So that means that the world around you would simply be one over your number. Let's say that your number happened to be your birthday, was your birthday combined with your name in Gematria, which is assigning a numerical value to the letters of your name. It's also your birth location, your birth time. And what I've just described to you now is the gene keys. It's effectively the gene keys. That's the information you have to put into the gene keys. And it's remarkably accurate if you haven't done it before. Yeah, it's very accurate. Just as numerology is very accurate, incredibly accurate, and so is astrology. But really, gene keys to me is like a higher order, higher dimensional astrology in a way. And so when you realize that you have a light signature and the world.

Around you, consciousness you believe, chose your birthday and your name and your birthplace to give you this certain number spectrum to experience life through.

Which then means I will have an entire. Because there's never anyone else that's had my exact same number spectrum. No one else ever has ever had my exact same number. So therefore my experience in my outside world will be another number pattern that will be the inverse of that value. So one over that number will give me a repetition rate. So what do I mean by that? So certain numbers, when you take their inverse values, you take the number seven, for example, one over seven. So the number one divided seven times is 0.142857. And then those same six digits repeat infinitely. Okay. It's called a period or periodicity. It's almost like a time tracker. Or you could say it's like a 1-428-57. 1-428-57. 1:428-57. Like a sine cosine wave on that number. Now, as you get to larger and larger numbers, that length of period becomes gigantic, becomes huge. So huge sometimes that you cannot zoom out enough to see the pattern.

But let's say it's patterns in your life repeating.

Bingo. It's exactly right. The patterns in your life are repeating. They're set so that everything was actually predetermined. You just didn't realize it, and it took you your whole life until you realize, wait, what are the patterns that are in my life that are repeating that are specifically related to my unique light signature? I used to think that I was good in business, and that's why I could succeed in business. And I worked really hard and I Was always like, oh, luck isn't really this thing. It's just chance and opportunity meet in the right place. Preparation and opportunity is what I basically represent. And so therefore I'm successful. But one day I realized maybe it could just be that I was born Taurus.

Just have a propensity towards material grounded Taurus.

Every Taurus I know has the same thing. They like nice things, right? They manifest luxury, they're like of this earth, they can literally ground anything, right? And I don't think I know any Tauruses that aren't like that, right? And they're just good with it. And they just do it like a fish swims, right? If we try to judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, right? This is a quote from Einstein. You know, obviously we're all going to be disappointed in it not being a genius, but actually judge it on what it's built to do. And that's understanding what our own gene key is when we finally understand what we're here to do. That's what I meant when you asked me the question, what is your highest self? And I said it's my highest authenticity. It's recognizing and owning who I am and realizing that that is good enough and that I exist for a reason. My existence is here to provide another expansion to the akashic field of information. So that the universe, the one, the universal one, or God if you want to call it that, not some old guy who's like reaching out to Adam. But actually the entire universe itself is alive and wanting to expand and grow. I gave you a copy of my book Philomath. Philomath means lover. Philo means lover, just like from philosophy. Sophia means wisdom. So Philo, Sophia is lover of wisdom. Philomath doesn't mean lover of math. The ancient word for mathematics never meant until the time of Aristotle. It always meant the seed of all learning. It was the language of all learning. So this idea of Philo Sophia and Philomath is actually not a lover of mathematics, it's a lover of learning. The universe is a lover of learning. The universe wants to expand its consciousness just as we want to expand our consciousness. And through each of us going through this process of ascension and then returning back to one, it adds more and more value to the expansion of overall consciousness.

So do you think that the universe is benevolent or just neutral? Do you think it wants the highest good for humanity? Or it just wants to experience the full spectrum with no agenda of what's benevolent or evil?

I think we all have these notions of what we think God should be. And I kind of use the example of Michelangelo's God and Adam reaching out to each other like this mirror reflection of each other. Most people don't realize, though, that that as God is reaching out to Adam, there's something around God. It looks like a curtain around him. He's got some angels and cherubs around him and a woman right across from him. Making shape of an X as well. Well, that is all a representation of the brain, the human brain. The X is representing the optic chiasm, which is the right eye connects through its optic nerve to the occipital lobe on the left side of the brain. And the left eye connects to the right side of the brain. So it creates a chi shape, an X right over the pituitary gland. The pituitary gland is the feminine of the brain. The pineal gland is the masculine of the brain. It's actually shaped like a penis. And the pituitary gland is also shaped like the sex organ of a woman. Right, the vagina. And those two things actually can work together. They're apart from each other in the brain. But through breathing exercises, you can actually lift the pituitary gland so that it will be on the same plane. When you breathe in and out, it actually does move up and down. And actually, what's funny is we all see CNA fluoroscopy, echocardiograms of heart tissue, right? We'll see somebody's heart pumping, and we'll be able to look at something like a CNA fluoroscopy, where we can actually see blood going through the heart. But it's very seldom that we get to see something where the brain is actually moving with each one of our breaths. But if we could see it, right, if we did have that kind of an ACCU scan or an MRI or whatever running in real time, you would see the brain pumps in and out just as our heart does. It goes up and down with each of our breaths, just as our heart is pumping all the time and moving as well. So what this does is when you can actually bring together the pineal and the pituitary glands, then you balance the masculine and feminine, and in particular with the breathing. The feminine must rise. The pituitary gland is lower on the plane. So this optic chiasm is representing the left side of the brain merging with the right side of the brain. The left side of the brain being the seed of all rational thought, the right side of the brain being the seat of irrational thought, creativity, the masculine or Linear side of the brain is the left side. And you could say that would be represented by the letter A. And then the feminine side of the brain brings in the curve. It's not just straight lines, it's the omega. So you have now alpha chi, omega chi, bringing the balance between the two. So we've been living in this existence of duality. Now, I raised the concept of duality. Why? Well, because we all have this concept of God being only good. So then we have to come up with a name like set in Egypt, which became Satan, right? Satan just means he that opposes. Is Satan just an actor as part of this, to create this separation somehow from God. Because we can't associate the bad things that happen in the world with a God figure because we think they're only good. You know, it's only kind of Western philosophy that has led to these concepts of divinity being only good. If you look through history, the Greek pantheon, the Sumerian pantheon, which had seven gods, the Egyptian pantheon had nine gods, the Greek pantheon has 12. And if you look at each one of the personalities of Zeus and Poseidon and Athena, et cetera, they all have these incredible strengths and these abilities. They've got kind of special powers, but they also have very, very high degree of fault tolerance, right? So what I mean by that, well, Zeus was this crazy player, right? He had all these women, he was married to Hera, but he had all these affairs with all these other women. And he was well known for that. It wasn't like he was this just perfectly good guy. If you look into Indian and Hindu belief systems, right, we've got concepts of Kali, which is kind of like destructive. Shiva, right? Brahman, they all have these different kind of personality types. And we don't look at it as like, that's Satan, but actually it is creating cycles of destruction. So instead of looking at it through the lens of duality of good and evil, we can transcend above that concept and just realize that it is and that everything must remain in balance. So that that means that God himself or herself must be both light and dark. Because that's what's happening in this world. And we're just a reflection in totality of just all of the different divisions that could be possible of that number one. The number one is neither evil nor good. It's balanced. So I believe that, you know, and I know this is hard for people sometimes, I'll say, I don't believe that anyone's any better than anyone else. What I believe is that the people that I'm Most concerned about are the ones who don't believe they have any darkness within them, because usually those are the ones that will then do the things that society has the hardest time integrating. Because they believe fully that they are completely above and beyond, and they're only good. This is how you get the Catholic priest who ends up molesting the altar boy. And this is what life is here to teach us. That Shakespeare says, whether good or bad thinking makes it so. Whether good or bad thinking makes it so. It's kind of in that same concept of as we make judgments, we don't realize often that the things we judge are the things we attract until we no longer judge the things we attracted. So we're not here to learn more judgment. After 40, 50 years of life, you start realizing, I'm not here to be more of a judge. I'm here to be a. A lover. I'm here to accept. I'm here to love and to be loved and to learn how to receive that love, both from myself and from others. When I keep judging that it's not there, I'm only recreating more cycles of Samsara, which is that periodicity of that number that relates to my inverse, right? So every single person, when you start realizing this and that you can communicate with your higher self. All the experiences, all the people that come across you as you walk down the street, they can be divine emanations, bringing you messages, confirming your path. And then when things that are going to happen to you that are not so great happen, then you can actually look at it from a different perspective and say, the universe didn't happen to me. It's happening for me. I just need to see it in the light that it is. We get triggered by things. And now in that context, we have to say, well, if I'm triggered by this thing, what is it that I'm trying to teach myself through this triggering? And that is really when the world changes. When you start realizing that, wait a minute, this is all happening for me, then you start realizing you're in a game and the game is of your own making. And then it's beautiful and it changes everything because the context is now totally changed, everything has changed. And you start realizing, oh, I'm getting less and less triggered by things. That means you're literally dissolving a lot of these issues that you had judged in yourself. Your life gets lighter, your relationships get better. And then you start to ask yourself, not why did that happen to me? But why did I choose this?

And then everything becomes medicine, and then everything becomes medicine.

And then your whole life just becomes more fun. You're not toiling anymore. In the same way, things just start happening for you kind of automatically. You don't have to worry about what's going to happen in your life because you already realize you're there. One of my favorite Chinese proverbs is, the man who blames others has a long way in his journey to go. The man who blames himself is halfway there, and the man who blames no one has already arrived.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. One of the things that has allowed me to show up a lot more fearlessly in my life, online, in my work, is going into my shadows. Yes, the things that I'm ashamed about, the things that I'm afraid will happen, those scenarios that you make up in your head. But then sometimes they're just too scary to fully go into. Well, by going into them with a therapist, it has allowed me to be so much more fully expressed, and that has led to me dancing and DJing and living my best life. So I'm super grateful for therapists at Better Help because they are really on point. You get matched with the perfect therapist for you. It's convenient, it's flexible, it's totally online. You just fill out a questionnaire, and they help pair you up with the right one for you. And you can also change them at any time. So to get started on your therapy journey, visit betterhelp.com Sahara to get 10% off your first month, that's BetterHelp. H E-L-P.com Sahara and you can find that link in the show notes. And I see this happening a lot with the Western psychology model. You know, it's like we go from unawareness. This is happening in the news. I'm a victim. And then we go into a lot of the psychology work, and it's like, it's because of my childhood, it's because of this, it's because of that. And then it's like, I'm a traumatized person, and, you know, I need all these labels and all these ways that we give up our power. We do become victims of our own situations and thought patterns and all of that. And I think it's our way of negating responsibility. And then when we're able to move past that, it's like, okay, how did. Why did my soul choose this? What lessons did it teach me? What medicine did it give me? And then anything that's showing up for you, it's perfect. Exactly as it is. And then when you release preferences, that's really been my practice of, like, I don't know. I don't know where I'm supposed to live. I don't know where I'm supposed to go. How could I know? Because I couldn't have never known the direction my life has gone. I would have very much limited my full potential had I decided, you know, at what age do you decide? Because it's constantly changing, right? You would put a cap at your potential at whatever age you decided how your life was meant to go. So instead, just stepping into this. Show me, show me by hearing the right thing at the right time and meeting the right people, that guides me to the next step. And then you're, like, on the edge of your seat of life, you know, and you're just like, ooh, every moment is going to take me in that. And. And, like, I noticed within myself of the ego trying to grasp to certainty, because I do think it helps, like before, earlier on the journey of, like, goal setting, you know, like, okay, this is my goal. I'm gonna work hard towards it. I'm gonna be disciplined and practice. And it can help us go from maybe, like, unawareness, apathy to a sense of control and empowerment, which gets our fire going. But then to go beyond that, it's. How can my little human mind know?

It's like, yeah, you know, certainty is, I think, something that everybody falls into the trap of, and there's really no such thing. I mean, literally, I could walk outside right now and just make a mistake because I'm looking at my phone and get hit by a car.

And then we hold onto these certainties of, I have this job and I'm in this relationship, and this is where I live, and this is how I do things. And when it's gone, it's like, that was taken away from me as if it was ever yours.

Yeah. Have you ever seen that movie? Have you ever seen that movie Office Space? It's absolutely hysterical. And these guys are like these total Silicon Valley nerds. And one of the guys is from Syria or somewhere in the Middle east, and the other guys are figuring out how to rob the bank that they're working at or the company they're working at. They're going to take one fraction of one penny off of everybody's bank accounts. It's actually a really funny comedy. And of course, they. You know, it becomes this whole thing. But in the. In one of the scenes, one of the guys, the guy that's from the Middle East. One of the guys makes the comment. The guy that was from Silicon Valley originally says, he goes, what do you want? You want to just be in this job for the rest of your life sitting in that cubicle? And then the guy from, like, the Middle east says, I can only dream of such job security, which is the funniest thing, because everyone's like, oh, that would be like the worst existence ever, right? To be stuck in some, like, cubicle for the rest of your days, right? Grinding it out for some lame company you have no purpose working for, right? All you're doing is shuffling papers from one desk to another type of thing. And then the other guy's total different perspective was, I could only dream of such amazing job security.

And it's like Maslow's hierarchy. Because it's like, when you don't have your survival needs met, then, yes, job security sounds like the most grounding thing ever. I really want that. But when you have that, a lot of people in the, in the US and Western world, they're like, okay, what's next? But then often we go into the material goods thinking that that's what's going to give us liberation. I know that's been a part of your journey. And then we realize the emptiness and the yearning and the longing for something greater is still there. And then we let go. But how can we let go without having to get all of the things first?

I think it's already predetermined by the light signature in your number. I don't think it's something that you can just.

So you don't believe there's free will?

I believe that what we call free will and destiny is actually related in a different way. I believe that what we call destiny is the free will of our higher selves.

Because, yeah, sometimes I think if there's free will, doesn't our highest self already know what we're going to decide based off of ourselves?

It's working independent of time already. So it knows better than we can know. Because it's got the perspective of being able to see all past and all future for it, it's just now.

So do you think then by doing practices like, well, let's just start by healing your inner child and things like that, do you think you can change your destiny?

I believe that the destiny is already predetermined and the path of what we wanted to learn, right? And maybe not in our lower context, in our conscious minds, but let's say the overarching lesson. So let's just say that there's selected where the higher self, which is the entire universe, says, here's what I want to experience. Here's what I want to learn. It's like a menu. I'm going to go down the menu, list of things. And based on this light signature, which we can basically embed in each person by determining their time of birth, their location of their birth and all that stuff, right? It's like built into you. So then the arc of your life is already set. Your hero's journey is already predetermined. The fact that you're gonna come back and move forward.

And would you say the life's work in Gene Keys is the closest thing you found to explaining that?

Yeah, I would.

It's funny, mine says you're here to teach about spirituality.

Well, there you go. See, you found your place.

But then maybe it's the mediums that is the free will of like, okay, how am I going to do this? But then what about people who never reach their siddhi, their dharma, their purpose?

Well, I mean, sometimes you go through multiple lifetimes, right? But I think that's actually part of their purpose too. They're just going through their long cycle of this massive repetition cycle. And at some point, once they finally raise their consciousness and be able to see the patterns of their lives, and then once we expand beyond duality, that's when you start experiencing time differently. The moment you start letting go of judgment is literally, that is the encryption layer. Time is the encryption layer between the fourth dimension and the fifth dimension. The fifth dimension is a dimension of love and acceptance. And the way we transcend time is by turning to love rather than judgment.

I experienced this firsthand because I was very much operating at the frequency of truth. And I was sharing with you before I went to Egypt, I was very much my whole life. Truth seeker. Share the truth, be the truth. Truth, truth, truth. And truth is a very important virtue. But just the initiation, the portal that I've been in and going to Egypt, it shifted my frequency to love, that it was less about truth because truth has this element of justice to it. It has this element of this is right and this is wrong. And I need to balance the scales through my actions, which means I ultimately know what's. I am the judge of what's right or wrong. And it showed me just first of all, that we as humans are not in charge of that at all. We have Ma', at, the deity and many other deities and all these different cycles and all of these different layers that we're just not even consciously aware of in the grand scheme of lifetimes where this is all being played out in truth. A judge panel is not on one specific situation. And beyond that, it's like, truth, ultimately, if it's not being received, what's the point? Right. If I'm like, this is the truth. I'm gonna tell you the truth, and you're closed off to it because I'm not coming from a place of love, then it's just hitting a wall. And then I'm just actually lowering my vi. Because now you're not feeling heard, you're not feeling met.

And for the other person, their truth is their truth. It could be the same as looking outside and say, no, no, no. One person could say, oh, the guy ran up and stole the bag from behind. And the other one would say, no, that's not true. Came from the other direction and stole it from the front. Right. And both of them may be right. How is that possible? That both are right? So this is so difficult because people are like, wait a minute. There has to be an objective truth. Truth. No. What we all have to realize is that what we've been telling us ourselves is the truth is what we subconsciously and unconsciously believe was benefiting us.

Yeah. Because also truth changes with time. Different levels of consciousness, different awareness, different pieces of the puzzle. You might have seen that accident happen on the street, but now I realize the car behind them was actually pushing this car to go faster. So it wasn't this car, it was that car. And it's like my field of awareness is expands. So then the truth changes again. Meanwhile, your field of awareness is changing. We might actually switch sides of what is true.

Oh, completely. By the way, that's what political parties are doing right now, Right?

Exactly.

No, that's exactly what's happened. I mean, we can look back in history. So, you know, we tend to think of the party that's an advocate for, you know, NAACP and sort of for minority issues, et cetera, is going to be the Democratic Party generally. Right. And then we tend to think about the Republican Party as old, rich white guys. Right. And that's kind of the way they're both portrayed. And to a certain extent, both kind of accept that as well. But what's more interesting about it is going back in time because the Emancipation Proclamation was made by Abraham Lincoln, who was a Republican. The Democrats were actually the party of slavery. So how did that flip 180 degrees?

Because we could say it is true that Democrats stand for freedom, and it is true that Republicans stand for their. They're all conservative white dudes. But that actually just wasn't true because Abraham Lincoln's time, it was the polar opposite.

Well, I'll give you another example of it. Since we're on politics and I'm neither Republican nor Democrat, I refuse to participate. Now I'm done. I'm like over this.

I'm non preference.

I'm so over it. I'm like, please. The Republican Party touts itself as the party of conservatism. And that also extends to how they spend their money. Right. And yet. Yet every Republican presidency has run a much larger budget deficit than their Democrat counterparts. What gives? It's almost like you want to basically fool everybody if you want to be a successful president. I've heard this before. Either be a Democrat or Republican who ends up running on those two platforms, but then after he goes into office, flips to the other side, whatever that is, because you'll get way more things done. So if you're a conservative and you actually want to get something done, what you got to do it is you got to basically run as a Democrat and then have conservative policies because that will turn the tide. Right. And so this is what's been happening. I realized probably 2010 that what I considered was dualistic humility and arrogance. I started looking at people that were arrogant and they're the ones that were calling out other people for being arrogant. So they're the ones that would say, oh, I can't stand that person because he's so arrogant.

Yeah, we see what we are.

If you spot it, that means you got it. And so that's what I started realizing that, okay, what we call fascist actually always starts off as communist. You look throughout history, I mean, is Kim Jong Un and Kim Il Sung, his grandfather, and all the people that basically have set up what is North Korea today. I mean, you go there, you know, it's fascism because there's giant pictures of people's faces everywhere. But the thing is, is that they always start running on platforms of social democracy. Hitler was a social Democrat.

Yeah. What we resist persists, and we become that thing.

Exactly. So all of it is a circle or a sphere. It's, you know, you take one more step to the right and you've got, you know, you think that you're right wing. You keep going, you end up at communism.

Yeah. And even just on a, like a little micro example, my uncle is very clean, like OCD clean, wants everything to be clean and always ends up with the stains on everything, you know, the stains on the shirt, the stains on the couch. And it's like, the one thing that annoys him the most.

What does he do that?

He's an oral surgeon.

Okay. I knew he was a doctor. Sort of like the doctors that had the pin pockets here, and then there's always, like, ink stain in the pocket.

Exactly, exactly.

And they're super meticulous and everything else.

And it's almost like we joke because his wife, my aunt, she could be eating, like, pomegranate, which is, like, super messy, and, like, bring it from the table to her mouth and, like, totally fine. And he, like, touches a little bit, and it's, like, ruined his perfectly white stained shirt. So that's the funny thing of, like, whatever you don't want to happen has to happen for you to get rid of that preference. But then I wonder. I'm like, okay, let's say I commit to a lifetime of having no preference. I'm just floating. I'm just, like, accepting what is. It's like, well, then how would I have beauty? How would I have expression? How would I have individuation if I just become this blob of no preference?

Well, I don't know that it has to be no preference. I think you can, because I'm a Taurus. I used to not want people to know that I was like, I like nice things. So I remember I used to have an Aston Martin, and I had several Aston Martins. And when I worked at Allergan, I remember thinking, oh, I probably shouldn't drive my Aston Martin to work because I don't want people to think of me as being obsessed with this material stuff. Right. Which is kind of stupid because people all figure it out anyway. It's better just to own it. Just own your shit. Instead of trying to tell somebody, oh, I don't like this, or I'm not like that, or judge everyone else for doing the thing that you're trying to avoid. Being yourself. Just be at one with it and accept and own it. I like nice things. There's nothing wrong with that. It's us that assigns guilt, shame, blame to whatever the things are in our life that we're not yet fully comfortable with and at peace with.

Yes. It's when you're wobbling that you're questioned.

It's always the case, right? And so what happens is, like, it reminds me sometimes. I had one circumstance like this back in high school that really bothered me. And then it happened again later in life. So it was in my second marriage. You know, people Ask me the math equation all the time. You know, what's half of a half of a half? And I say three marriages, right? That's kind of the way it works. But. But I remember in my second marriage, there was someone that was a friend of mine who. His wife was very, very attractive, beautiful woman. I'd never really talked to her before, and he and I were close friends. And she was in the forum with my ex wife. And she went to this forum with my ex wife. And this forum is like. It's like a YPO type forum, if you know what YPO is. It's a CEO club, basically. And she said, you know, I. In this forum with the women, she told my ex wife, and I'd never even talked to this woman. She told my ex wife, I think that your husband might be attracted to me. Which caused me a lot of pain. It was very difficult. It was super painful. The thing is, I'd never even talked to her, so how she could come to that, Right? We tend to. And, you know, we all do this. We all project sometimes things. I've done it myself. So I had to learn that experience. We learn through opposites. So, for example, I had to go through this terrible, terrible experience when I was in 2016, where I felt I experienced mass betrayal from several of my friends, which was horrible. I was in a battle with a VC partner that was trying to get control of a company that I'd founded that became a unicorn company, like, overnight. And I ended up winning the battle, but I felt like I lost the war. And it took me a long time to realize why it had to happen that way, because I realized later that one of the things I came here to learn that was part of my dharma was to learn unconditional love. So if my choice at a higher self level is to learn unconditional love, that means I'm going to learn that through the opposite of unconditional love, which is conditional love. And the extreme form of conditional love is betrayal. I had to keep experiencing that betrayal until I learned to accept it, because if I kept judging it, I would just be on the same hamster trail of repetition. There's just another number cycle that's coming forward. So once we transmute it, we can actually turn ourselves into a golden light relationship.

So do you think then when we transmute it, we accept that thing, we no longer have judgment around it. Then this number wave shifts?

Yes, it does. And that I just discovered. So one of the things I promised you I wasn't going to talk about Math. But here I am talking about math. One of the things that I'll try to do as easily as I possibly can.

Yes, give us the fourth grade.

I'll give you the fourth grade version. Have you ever heard of the Fibonacci number series? Okay, so you know that Fibonacci number series determines the number of leaves on that plant, right?

Oh, no, I didn't know that.

Yeah. Or the number of petals of a rose. So the way it works is or the branches on a tree. Every tree will follow this. So you'll have one branch will show up close to the base of the tree, then there'll be another branch, and then there's going to be two branches, and then there's going to be two plus one. So you just add the last two numbers, three branches, no more than that, the plants. And then there's going to be five branches under the next rung, because you're just adding it up. One plus one equals two, and then two plus one equals three, and then three plus two equals five, and then five plus three equals eight. So the number series goes 1, 1, 2, 3, 5, 8, 13, 21, 34, 55, 89, 144. And then if I take those numbers at 144 and I divide it by 89, the immediately preceding number, it gives me a ratio of 1.618. Now, this is a very important ratio, and it's a ratio that shows up up everywhere in nature. In fact, it's often referred to as God's signature.

1.618.

1.618. So I'll tell you where it matters for your viewers. I'll tell you where it matters. I launched a product called Juvederm, right? Which became a huge product for dermal fillers and everything, and the doctors that would inject Juvederm. Have you heard of Juvederm before? Yeah. When they would inject Juvederm, they'd put it in lips. They would inject it in both lips. Right? But actually, technically, the way they should inject it is they should inject 1.618 times the volume that they inject in the top lip. The larger amount should go in the bottom lip. Do you know why?

That's the natural ratio of the lips.

That's the natural ratio of the lips. By the same token, if you wanted to look at the feminine form, which is. We love the curve, right? We. Who would want to live in a world of only straight lines? The feminine form, the hip to waist ratio is 1.618. A DNA strand. So you've seen how a DNA strand looks, right? So if I took a strand of DNA, the length of that strand would be 1.618 times the width. Did you know this? Everything is this.

I only learned about PI. That was, like, the big number in High School. 3.14159-26256. There's, like, a competition of, like, how much you can memorize.

But I did a competition at Pacific High School in Newport beach, and they had me speak to their whole student body about mathematics. And I did this competition. I'm like, okay, who could do PI out to X number of digits? And there was one kid there that actually just kept going. Everyone else gave up after, like, 40 digits.

Wow, that's a lot.

And this kid went to, like, 2,000 digits. I was like, okay, that's a lot. But I think the world record, something like 20,000 digits. Someone actually can remember. It's kind of crazy. Tells you what the human mind can do. But what's interesting about this number 1.618, there's something that makes it golden you can understand. I tend to refer to this like.

The pyramids, I'm sure connected to this.

The pyramids are definitely connected to it. No doubt about it. But the thing that is absolutely connected to it is a mirroring property. So what do I mean by a mirroring property? Well, I call the universe the U inverse. Right. And another way to look at that would be like a mirror between our two consciousness types. The conscious mind, which is what I call me, and the subconscious mind, which is everything else around me, my experience. And it's unique to me because my light signature is unique. And my 1x is that mirror reflection. So the mirror of consciousness, the number 1.618, is unique because it's the only number that, when I take its inverse, the string of numbers, the 0.618 into infinity, remains identical. So it's literally the perfect mirrored number. Only number that does this. And we call this the golden ratio because all artwork has it embedded within it, whether we know it or not. I'm a sculptor. I'm sculpting. I don't take calipers to measure to see if I'm doing the hip to waist ratio. If I'm doing the face ratio, the distance between my pupils should be exactly versus my temple to temple, pupil to pupil, temple to temple, temple to temple versus pupil to pupil is 1.618. It's perfect. My lips are supposed to be that everything's supposed to be this signature of God. The reason is because it has this string of decimal extension that's identical even when you take one over that value. So how does that even matter? What it matters is that no other number can do that. So I used to think this is a property that only the golden ratio has. That's the only magic number where it takes its inverse and it's perfectly the same number infinitely. No other number can do that. So you could say it'd be like the God of all numbers, right? But then I learned and discovered the method to apply that and have it work for all numbers. And it's totally possible to have it work for all numbers. What you have to do is you take whatever number it is, you square it, you add one to it, take its square root, and then you take half of its value on the left side of the decimal extension, and then you add back half that value back to it. And then that will create a number. Now that will be a perfect mantissa or decimal extension of equivalence in its 1x value. So now you could say that the number itself on the left of the decimal is your conscious mind and the number on the right of the decimal is your subconscious mind. They can now be joined into one number. We take the 1 over X of that value and it's the same decimal extension, identical. Every number can now be made golden. So you just asked me the question, so if I'm stuck to this repetition pattern, how do I become golden? How do I become divine? How do I break out of this cycle of samsara? Mathematically, you can. You become perfectly infinitely irrational. No repeating patterns. You're infinite. It's your spirit aspect. You could think of yourself like, if I could take the square root of Sahara, the square root of U would give me an infinite irrational number. Right? That's perfect. It's beautiful. There's no repetition patterns in it. It's perfectly infinite. It's entropic. It's also syntropic. We just don't know the pattern.

What's entropic? Syntropic.

Entropic means chaos. There's a chaos aspect to the entire universe. Right? Chaos has to be balanced and then there's pattern. But maybe what we call entropy is really just pattern. We don't understand at the level of our consciousness because the pattern's too big for us to see.

So you're saying that if you see everything in your reality as you inverse and you transcend having preferences, then you will end up on this code that never repeats and you never go through patterns again. Is that correct?

The caveat is love.

That's how we get it.

It's not just learning to transcend your preferences. It's learning to love and accept the world exactly as it is.

Where my mind goes to, well, what about injustices?

So then you start asking yourself the question, why do these injustices keep showing up? In my field, it's very difficult for us sometimes to be able to look at these kinds of travesties that happen in the world and just say, I accept that the world is a difficult place. I accept that the world's a difficult place without trying to do something and cause the fight for it, right? Or fight against that thing. And I'm not saying that you just sit back and do nothing. I'm not saying that. But realizing that everything happens in this unverse for a reason. Everything. And everything can loop back on itself in many ways that now we cannot see. And with time, most things, there are some exceptions, but most things we look back on and say, gosh, that was the worst thing that ever happened. But I'm actually grateful that it did happen because it did lead to this. And this is the human condition. So I'm not saying that we look at the injustices of the world and we just simply accept the injustice of the world. I'm definitely not saying that. But what I am saying is we should not let those things become the nail that we then simply become the vigilante trying to stamp out every single injustice. Because what will happen when we do that? I can tell you this for certain. And it's no different than your father, right? Or your uncle who's the oral surgeon who doesn't want to get stuff on his shirt. We create the outcomes from our fears. We create the outcomes from our judgments. So if when something like that happens, the learning can be okay, how do I not propagate this same experience and have it continue over and over and over again? It doesn't mean you don't get involved, but there's an attachment that we need to avoid. The attachment is what we often get so into that we get attached to. I'm going to be the one who saves the world from this one pernicious or nefarious act or whatever it is. And so that becomes egoic. And then by that egoic transition happening, we tend to create more and more of it in our field. When, if we can exchange that with more of the teachings that we would have had from whether it'. Sand. I'm not Christian per se. I believe Jesus was a Buddhist who went to Tibet and who basically learned there. And I met the Dalai Lama. The Dalai Lama told me, oh, we have all the records of Jesus visit to Tibet in my house back in Tibet, out of his exiled palace in Dharamsala. But basically the idea was this. Love your enemy. Love the triggers. People think that this world could be a terrible place. I don't believe this world's a terribly difficult place because people hate each other. I believe the world can be a very difficult place because people hate themselves. And when we hate ourselves, we will propagate around us all of that projection and that will show up in our experiences. It's very difficult for any one of us to judge the position of anyone else. And it's very difficult for us to not look at the world and say, I'm better than you. Like I said before, I don't believe the people we should be afraid of are the people that are at balance with their darkness. The people we should probably be afraid of are the people that think they're entirely righteous. I don't think I can ever think of anyone who was a villain, who didn't think they were a hero. And this is what I mean. That's the attachment I'm talking about. We start to create things, we start to create circumstances to make things better. We start cutting corners. We start being inauthentic with who we actually choose to be so that we can push our agenda forward. We see this in politics and we see it in all types of division that exists in the world.

I think it comes from a deep sense of guilt, of, oh, I am so lucky to be blessed, so I should do something good to repent for myself almost. I think a lot of these altruistic acts are coming from this sense of keep good things coming to me. So that's why. But then it begs the question of does it matter if it's doing good in the world? If I'm donating money to make myself feel better, is there an energetic shift in who's receiving that money versus I'm just donating out of the open goodness of my heart.

You know, it's such an interesting. Because I think you nailed it just now. That place of guilt and shame is what actually creates a lot of the reflections. Right Again, I don't believe the world's a difficult place because people hate each other. It's because they hate themselves. And also, so it's not the sin, it's the shame that accumulates and creates the density Lots of people I know are like, gosh, this place. Especially during COVID it's like, how do we escape planet Earth? This place is like a frickin. And then I saw the memes where, like, there are aliens in the memes and they're like, sitting down with popcorn. Like, have you seen the last episode of Earth, Man? This shit's getting crazy. Right? Type of thing. And everyone was talking to me. It's like, how do we escape this place? I'm like, newsflash. I think that there's no escape. I think the only way we transcend is by falling in love with it and realizing that it's all divine purpose. Yeah.

And the only way we can ascend is to descend is to actually go deeper into it.

And that's shadow integration. And realize that that shadow is us. And we start seeing everyone around us with a different degree of empathy.

And I think it's easier for us to get this in our own personal lives, where it's hard as, like, these global issues of, like, what's happening in Iran, deforestation, that we're like, well, how did I create that reality? But it's like, actually a lot of people's shared karma has created these things.

Yes, I think that's exactly right. The guilt that people have at a generational level for success, I think that's what the United States is going through a lot of right now. Right. It's like, I've been to dinners with people and they're like, how can you eat this food right now? Like, how can you literally sit here and realize that there are people dying all over the world? Right. And that's what I mean by that attachment. You still need to be able to realize that this world and this life can be a blissful experience. But if you're carrying a lot of shame and guilt for your life, for your success, for your abundance, for all these things, you're likely only going to end up reflecting more of that negativity in that world around you.

Because your suffering doesn't help the cause.

Not at all. And you being what I would call a closet narcissist. Right. So people tend to think narcissism is this terrible thing. I actually think narcissism is the doorway to higher spirituality. What do I mean by that? Because things become so extreme that you look in the mirror and you're like, what is going on? You finally see the highlight of all the patterns.

As a narcissist.

As a narcissist. A narcissist will actually go and notice that, wait a minute, I thought I was so good. But actually they'll start seeing just like the arrogant becomes the humble or the humble becomes arrogant. I know people that claim to be so humble, they become arrogant in their humility. It happens. It happens through this cycle. At the tail end of narcissism is when a lot of people go through their spiritual awakenings. They realize they hit rock bottom and they're like, wait a minute, I've.

Like, so how narcissist do they have to get? No, right.

I know, it's like, okay, it's like.

Like, I'm pretty sure my daddy still hasn't hit it yet.

When's this gonna happen now, finally, right? Like, I've been waiting a long time. But no, I found that a lot of people that go through their spiritual awakenings have gone through this pathway of narcissism. They get to the end of it and they're like, this doesn't work anymore.

Well, yeah, I mean, I think that maybe it's like a self focus instead of narcissism. Or do you think it's an actual narcissism?

No, I think it's an actual narcissism. What happens is they get so far, they have a crisis that what they thought was their world is now dramatically not their world. And they're so detached from reality that they don't even realize that it was like that all along. But they were just going through this pathway. So it's through. I think consciousness goes, puts us in these circumstances all the way to the tail end of narcissism. So that we snap and break.

What makes some people wake up and not others?

Well, I mean, when I say narcissism, let's say, let's go back to the analogy of the block of cheese. So a true narcissist will say they don't really love themselves. You realize this narcissists hate themselves. That's what I mean by problem in the world is people hate themselves, right? So what happened is that to be good enough, they cut off all these aspects of themselves that they thought didn't fit their narrative. They fall in love with the reflection of what they thought they're projecting not actually who they are. And so as they cut parts of themselves off, they're judging everyone around them in that negative light also, oh, I'm cutting this part of my personality off. So for me, it was. I stopped being a musician and I was like, musicians are beatniks and like, I don't want to be like this guy who doesn't get anything done, right. I'm going to be solid, a contributor to society. So then all my musician friends, I'm like, ah, I'm not hanging with you anymore. That was a narcissistic act because I decided this is the Persona I want to project. That's not consistent with that Persona. So those people are out, right, Ghost, done. And you start doing that over and over and over again until finally you're always seeking perfection because you can never see it.

But what makes some people realize this and not others? Because some people just die like that.

I think, first of all, I love the despair of your comment right there. Some people just die like that.

Well, just awakening in general. It's like some people awaken in this lifetime and other people just don't. And it's like, is that part of their soul plan is that they have. Right. The pattern is just further away. Is it their younger souls? They don't have enough lifetime experiences here.

It could be any of the above. And it could also just be the path that was chosen for them and that they likewise chose. So you think about this arc of life. You know, it's hard to know where someone is going to make their flip and be like, I'm aware now, and I'm going to now turn my world to a world of love. But my experience has been that it's often through that doorway of narcissism. And I think collectively that's true as well, that we are at that precipice right now.

And even hyper codependency can be narcissism too.

Yeah. And so that's where I was going in the beginning, which is there's another type of narcissism as well. So there's sort of an overt narcissism.

Which tends to be the shadow. The overt narcissism tends to be the shadow of the masculine, I find.

Yes, yes, yes.

And the codependency of the feminine.

Yes. And then there's covert narcissism. So how would you define covert narcissism?

Well, they're better at hiding it. They may come off as charismatic. They may, you know, have some form of caring about people again. But if it ultimately benefits them, maybe they go behind people's backs in their narcissistic ways, and it's often just in the subconscious. I don't think most people who are. Most people who are narcissists, if you ever call them that, will actually completely deny that.

Oh, yeah, 100%. That's the whole point, they don't think that their shadow even exists. They're not willing to see the negative aspects. And by the way, they're the only one who can't see that everyone else can. That's why in the business world we have something called a 360 degree review where you actually interview all these other people and say, what's it like working with this person? And then you can get a full viewpoint on whether that person is at one with themselves, at ease by being who they are or trying to put on airs or always trying to prove something. And we all know that's definitely a characteristic and trait of narcissism. Because they'll never be able to. They've got a cup that can never be filled because they've cut off so much of themselves that really they're just trying to prove to themselves that they're okay. So all these different emanations, all these different experiences that we all go through, they're all here for us to experience, to learn, to grow, to expand. The akashic, right? We're no different in that sense than the universal one ourselves. We're here to learn and grow and expand and we learn through opposites. We learned through, like I gave the example of betrayal, if we're going to learn unconditional love. And one of the things I love about music is that music has this characteristic. I was asked by Donald Hoffman, who's a, a very well known psychologist who does mathematical mapping of our thoughts. It's kind of cool. So he comes to my office with another mathematician and he says, what are your thoughts on how to mathematically map emotions? And I was like, let me get back to you on that one. So how would you put an equation to an emotion? Is it even possible? Well, I was flying to Salzburg beginning of January for a business trip there, like one of the music capitals of the world. And I was thinking about music. I thought, well, if there's anything that can bring on and induce certain emotive states, it's music. So I started thinking, well, music is just like the geometry we experience with our ears. Geometry is math. So I started thinking, what are the states that induce certain emotive responses? And when you watch Star wars, they play the dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun dun. That's a diminished fifth. It's a musical interval. And that musical interval has a mathematical ratio embedded within it. And they're very set mathematical ratios. So then I started thinking, okay, is there any correlation between emotive states directly and mathematical interval related to music. And turns out there was. So I looked it up. I found it on the research pages and stuff online while I was on the airplane. And what I found is that certain musical intervals cause you to feel love and happiness, and then their inverse relationships of those musical intervals caused the opposite emotive state. So three over two is what's called a perfect fifth. Right. And you could go on a C note on a piano keyboard up to a G note, that would be a perfect fifth. But then if I took the higher C one octave up and I play it backwards down to a G, so that becomes descending, right? Then that is going to end up becoming a perfect fourth. So a perfect fifth and perfect fourth are unique in that there's no negative, there's no polarity flip. That's why they call it perfect. Its inverse is still beautiful and sounds like stability and love and all these cool good things, friendship and whatnot. If you do the same thing with a major third, which would be like, da, da, right? I play the major third. That sounds like love to people. And that's what people reported. Like, their emotive response was love. And then when you play the higher note C down to the E, which is the exact same notes, just in different order and one octave difference, that sounds like heartbreak. So you start to realize that time and music also has this relationship. Right. Because motion and emotion are interrelated. And you realize that what I'm experiencing in the experience of love has within it the seed of heartbreak, that everything we experience can be broken down into these 13 musical intervals, and that they are absolutely mathematical relationships. The major third is 5 over 4. The perfect fifth is 3 over 2. The perfect fourth is 4 over 3. They're perfect fractional relationships that are purely mathematical. So what we thought was nameless and faceless in mathematics is actually the foundational basis of how we feel.

And it just shows that with the start of every love, you are also starting a heartbreak.

Exactly. And isn't there something kind of beautiful.

In that when you're aware of it, then you're not living in fantasy and projection anymore. That you know, well, the deeper I love, the deeper the inevitable heartbreak.

Yes. And that's like, wow. And now I realized why I was always a sucker for movies with this unrequited love at the end. Like this love that wasn't allowed to be expressed or like one of them dies and right when they're at the point where they're gonna have their happy ever after it ends.

Damn. You liked those movies, those stressed me out.

No.

I'm like, please just fall in love and be together forever.

But, yeah, I can think there's something.

Completion cycle.

Yeah, there's something.

That's the reality of it, because eventually we're gonna die.

Yeah. So I loved the movie out of Africa with Robert Redford and Meryl Streep. And she was waiting for him. He's gonna come and pick her up at the end. They're finally gonna be together. And then his plane crashes. And I've watched that movie like a hundred times, probably, and I'm like, trying to understand why this happened this way. And of course, it's an adaptation of a true story. But the English Patient's another example where Ralph Fiennes is in love with. I can't remember the actress's name, and he has to leave her in this cave, and then he gets caught by the Nazis and he can't get back to her to save her. And she ends up dying in this cave. And there's this whole feeling of like. And I can think of so many romantic movies like that.

The Notebook.

The Notebook, yeah. Where we fall in love with this idea. And really, as you said in our experience of love and bliss and joy is already waiting within it to experience the heartbreak. And we can't have the love and experience the joy and the bliss without knowing that the heartbreak is also there. And to look at it in the context that, gosh, it'd be great if we could just cut off that part.

And people try. I'm in a situationship, and they try to separate love and intimacy and all these ways to protect. Protect the heart. But then you're not really living.

But then you're not really living, right? So it's like. It's the same thing with how we look at light. We could say, oh, I love the sunlight. It's so beautiful. And I don't like the dark. And people all think, well, that darkness is the absence of light. What if I told you darkness is just the opposite condition of light? It's about absorption. This table is black. It's got. Got bits of it that are white. It's absorbing every color, right? And that's why we're seeing the parts that are white. And it's absorbing, right? So when we see the reflection of this, all we're seeing is the table is black. Well, it's not really black. Its absorption is white. That's why it's absorbing every color. It's reflecting black. One doesn't exist without the other. We cannot have love. And Bliss without the experience of heartbreak, period. The two are interrelated.

Cannot have joy without suffering.

So that's how we learn through the opposites. You cannot understand pleasure without understanding and experiencing pain. We're in a experiential spiritual life simulation where we are here to learn through the negative aspects, through the opposite terms, the principles that would be the reflected opposite of those things. And when you finally realize that's the context, you might as well just go for it.

And when you stop resisting it, you actually are able to bounce to the opposite spectrum with a lot more ease.

Absolutely. And it makes life beautiful. Then you realize that darkness is as beautiful as the light. When I have a bad circumstance happen to me, I realize that in the seed of that difficult experience is the transmutation of exaltation.

Yeah. It's the preparation ground. It's the soil. Without the soil, there is no flower.

Yeah. One of my favorite quotes in I used to live in Korea, and there's a Korean sokdam. And it's like a proverb. I speak Korean and it goes, byeonan igil siro gogae ril suginda. Which means as the rice grows up, right? Rice will grow in these fields that are like, full of water type of thing. I used to live in a rice field. As the rice grows up, it will bow its head. As we learn through all of our experiences and difficulties, sometimes we feel like life beats us down. But actually, in that experience of the challenge and the difficulty is the greatest benefit of growth and learning. And that's where we can take it with gratitude, humility, and love, and then realize that the only way to be is your most authentic self. Because that's why you exist. The most valuable thing in the universe to me is you. It's your individuality. It's your ability to see the world as you see it. And you're meant to be your own individual self, just as you are. When we start seeing the world around us as beautiful and perfect just as it is, everything shifts. Your experiences, everything shifts. The things that come into your field, the things you see. So one of the things I highly recommend is stop watching the news. I've totally stopped. I don't miss it. I don't feel like I have no clue what's going on. I don't want certain things to come into my field per se, that would then immediately trigger me. So I've almost just gone to a detox level of news. And I have to say, it's been fricking amazing.

Detox level of people. Instagram's. I think it's important to be discerning of what we're letting into our energetic field, because then instead of being in our creator consciousness, we end up just becoming victims of whatever this media or person or agenda has chosen for us.

That's right. And by living this way, it helps me at least to live an empowered life, that I'm the director, I'm the actor, I'm the script writer. I'm the whole thing for my life, you know. One of my favorite poems is one by William Ernest Henley. And I was in New York a few months ago. I was speaking at. I spoke at the United nations, and I got up and. I mean, I didn't know what I was going to say at United nations, but I told everyone the government was corrupt, which was fun. I enjoyed the. That no one said anything. That was a crazy part. I was, like, expecting everyone to go.

Wait, we're not supposed to talk about that out loud.

We're not supposed to talk about that out loud. And I'm like. And everyone came up to me. I got a standing ovation. It was pretty funny. But I went to this cool place that was like. They had this Gatsby event. It was this really nice place, and it was an old bank that had been converted. And in one of the rooms, they had kind of a bar in there, and they had, like, craps tables and, you know, like, gambling and all that. And on the wall up at the ceiling was a. You know, it was basically put in brass. The words of this poem by William Ernest Henley. It was written in 1875. It goes out of the night that covers me. Black is the pit from pole to pole. I thank whatever gods may be for my unconquerable soul. In the fell clutch of circumstance I have not winced nor cried aloud. Under the bludgeonings of chance My head is bloodied yet unbowed. Beyond this place of wrath and tears looms but the horror of the shade and yet the menace of the years finds and shall find me unafraid. It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishments the scroll. I am the master of my fate and the captain of my soul. That is the life. It doesn't matter the difficulties that we face. In the end, we all die. It doesn't matter how we die. Ultimately, there have been millions and billions of people that have died before you. There will be many that will die after. But there's no such thing as real death. I'm quite convinced of that. The spirit lives on and experiences through repetition cycles over and over and over again. It doesn't matter how we die, but it really does matter how we live. What matters is how we take these experiences in this life, in this world and how we can transmute it to love. That's the philosopher's stone. Transmute all of the lead of our experiences which is really all of that shame and guilt we accumulate over time into something that is this beautiful highest form iteration of this alchemical metal which transforms into gold. And that gold is actually just a representation of our own spirit finding its divinity and realizing that you are what you've been looking for all along.

Beautifully said. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. That poem and all the transmissions, it really. It really landed. And I know people as they re listen to this episode again it will be deeper layers. So thank you so much. And where can listeners connect with you and read your books?

Yes. So Philomath is one of my books. I have another book recently that's came out that's called Polymath. So that just means many learnings. It's about learning brain hemi sync. So hemisphere synchronization is a key aspect to higher states of awareness. Critical. And part of the way you have to do that is learn how to balance your brain through exercising all the different aspects of it. So if you want to get better at physics, get good at art and music. If you want to get better at math, then dive deeper into geometry which is an artistic form of it. So you can learn through the opposites. It's the same thing the way the world is set up. The more we are into hyper specialization which is a big challenge in the world, the more we find ourselves into narcissistic behaviors because we cannot see different perspectives. And maybe truth, if there is a total objective truth would be the sum of all possible perspectives. So my most recent book that's just now come out, it's on Amazon. It's called Neuromind M I N E D. I wrote it with another fellow by the name of Michael Ashley. And it's about our whole digital individuation. So actually that could have been another name for the book too. Digital individuation. Because our individuality is such a core aspect of this universe and how do we protect that individuality and allow it to exist and coexist with this somewhat dystopian world at times is what that book is about. And I'm on Instagram robertedward Grant and then you can find my website also robertedwardgrant.com and that'll pretty much direct you to all the other stuff. We didn't talk about Egypt. We didn't talk about all kinds of other stuff. Next time, but next time it'll be happening. Happy to.

Yes.

But thank you for all you're doing to raise consciousness. You've been doing it for quite some time and despite the challenges you faced, you're here. And so I celebrate that.

Thank you so much for this conversation today.

Thank you.

Oh my goddess, my mind is blown from that conversation. Wow. Such potent codes that he shared with us. This is one you're going to want to keep listening to because there's so much depth, depth here. So I hope you love this conversation. If it resonated with you, please share it on social media. That's how we raise universal consciousness together. And as a free gift for leaving a review for the podcast, I would love to send you my womb meditation. So this is a meditation you can do to connect more to your feminine energy and actually your womb space. Whether you have a physical womb or not, we're all connected to womb energy and this meditation will allow you to ask questions to your womb and hear her answers. So all you gotta do is head over to the Apple Store where your listening to this podcast, leave a review and take a screenshot and email it over to me at saharaiamsaharose. Com. You can also find that link in the show notes and be sure to join my new Pain to Purpose series to learn more about how to turn your mess into your message and create a career for yourself as a certified sole purpose and spiritual life coach at the Dharma Coaching Institute. Again, you can find all of that in the show notes and I'm so excited and grateful to have you here. Namaste.