518: Letting Go Of Expectations To Create Your Best Life with Amanda Sevilla

Wait, you wanna stand out? Like, no, no, no. We've done everything to fit in. So I think there's a lot of that, especially with immigrant families, of, like, this fear of standing out and what will happen to me.

Exactly. But I feel like now, with this new shift, with this new paradigm we're going into, standing out is actually the new standard. Being unique, being true to yourself, doing the things that you love to do, that you're excited about, that's different. That's what's going to set.

Welcome back to the High Self podcast. My name is Sahar Rose, and in this podcast, I love to take spirituality and really make it grounded, relatable, fun so it can serve your needs. Because the truth is, spirituality is who we are. It's an integral part of our purpose, our relationships, our friendships, everything that we do. And if there's one thing I've learned in this journey, is that we are always guided and that there is a force that is so much greater than us, that wants us to win and wants us to succeed and is so loving and so benevolent. But the thing is, we just don't listen. And I believe that we were all here born with a sacred purpose, a big reason for being. And this is beyond one career or role or job. But really, it is our unique soul expression. In Vedic spirituality, in Sanskrit, they say that this is our dharma. Dharma. So your dharma is really who you are when you are fully alive, fully activated. So me being here with my mermaid hair on this podcast, bringing these spiritual concepts to the people, this is part of my Dharma. And every single person has their own unique expression of this. So imagine if we're all like this giant jigsaw puzzle across reality. Every single person has a role to play in this piece of the puzzle, and that piece can also shift over time. Maybe your role was to, you know, teach preschool kids for a period of your life, and then that shifted. But you learned comp and empathy through that experience, which guided you into becoming a coach. And then maybe being a coach taught you communication, which guided you into writing books or speaking, which guided you into podcasting, which guided you into courses, certifications. I mean, the list goes on. So I believe that our Dharma is really here informing us of what is next. And our only job is really here to listen. So my journey really started with my health challenges. My health challenges were the first assignment that my soul needed to awaken me, that I am so much more than and my mind and body, but rather I am a soul, that my mind and body are a reflection of so my health challenges got my body shutting down when I was 21 years old. Digestive issues, hormonal imbalances that doctors kept prescribing me, prescription medication to heal. That brought me into becoming a self healer, into learning why is my body out of balance, which essentially, which eventually brought me to Ayurveda. Ayurveda being the sister science of yoga, and then that journey of healing myself through Ayurveda. I wanted to naturally share this with other people, and that's what brought me into blogging and then writing my first book. Then writing my book on Ayurveda led to writing my second book, led to writing my third book. And then all of a sudden I had this career teaching Ayurveda. And then people would ask me, how did you go from, you know, broke girl, lot of issues with my family, didn't, you know, didn't fully believe in myself, to Deepak Chopra writing the forwards of three of my books and, you know, putting myself out there and speaking on stages. How did you make this shift? And that's what brought me into starting to write about living your Dharma, your soul's purpose, which led to me writing discover your dharma, my book that came out in 2021, and then creating the Dharma Coaching institute, which is the world's first and only school that certifies sole purpose Dharma coaches. So these are coaches that actually go out into the world and train other people to live their soul's purpose. And the ripple effect just goes on of, you know, you awaken someone's purpose and they awaken someone else's, and they awaken someone else's. So it's been so beautiful to witness that movement that has now even gotten bigger into the highest self institute that brings forms of spirituality into really grounded ways into people's lives. So I share this because I'm no different from you. I'm 32 years old, and I have been able to create so much in my life because I have listened to my Dharma. And in today's episode, you are actually going to hear one of my former students at the Dharma Coaching Institute who has also completely shifted her life. So she went from studying pre med, comes from an Asian family just like myself, you know, trying to do the thing to be successful and make your family proud, into understanding who am I and realizing the opportunity that we have with social media and the fact that I believe our souls chose to incarnate at this time where literally anyone can be their own Oprah, you can just get a little $15 microphone and start talking. That's how I started this podcast seven years ago. And there's so much freedom, which can also come with a lot of confusion, a lot of anxiety, because we're like, I don't know what to do. So I want to bring Amanda on. On the podcast today, because I know a lot of you guys are in that part where you're like, okay, sorry, you got your shit figured out. I can't relate. And I'm like, fine, fine. It's like, okay, so let. Let me bring on Amanda, because Amanda has gone through this transformation not so long ago, but is, like, living her dharma, coaching, sharing her gifts, has online courses, and has also been able to do this in a way that is really authentic to who she is and taken her life's unique experiences into her purpose. So I feel when we hear different stories like this, have conversations like this, it creates evidence in our mind that it is possible for me too. And I used to think there were, like, certain people in the world that had purposes and others who didn't like, you're either Justin Bieber, you're fucking screwed. That's what I thought. And I'm like, I don't have a good voice. I can rap, though. But stop. Drop. Kaboom, baby. No, I'm kidding. But I used to think you had to have a gift like that, and otherwise you just had to get a shitty job and, like, wait until the weekends. And that's not the truth at all. In fact, the beautiful thing about your dharma is everyone has a unique piece of this puzzle. So we need the person who is really good with fashion to help us with our outfits, and the person who's really good at organization to help us with our accounting, and the person who's really good at event planning to help us with that, and the person who's really good at empathy to help us with our coaching. Every single person has a code, and we all need everyone. And it's coming back to the ways of the tribe and the ways of the village, where every single person, we could come to them. The shaman for their wisdom, the medicine woman for her herbs, the astrologer for what's happening in the constellations, the teacher for teaching our kids. Everyone had an important, an equally important role to play, though different. And I feel we are coming back to this way in this new paradigm that we are in. And we are each individually awakening and activating. Many of you guys have told me just this podcast, like, certain episodes you've heard have been these transmissions and activators for me too. So I know for myself in my journey, I would listen to podcasts and be, oh, my God, I wish I could, you know, write a book on sensuality one day, but I can't because my family's from Iran. Like, I would never. And then, you know, over time, now I'm sharing about sensuality on this podcast. If I hadn't heard so many people do it on other people's podcasts, I would have never known it was possible for me too. So my invitation for you is just like, really let in the possibility that you can be here on this podcast one day. I can be interviewing you one day about your story. Like, Amanda signed up for DCI two years ago and is here as a guest on this podcast. So it just shows and you can create your own podcast. Maybe you'll interview me one day.

We'll.

We'll do a little podcast swap. So you just never know. And that's the beauty of stepping into the unknown. Like, yeah, it can be scary as fuck, but it's also expansive as fuck. And everything that you want can only exist when you step into that container. So let's welcome Amanda here on the Highest Self podcast. Hello.

Hello, Sahar. Thank you so much for having me. That was an amazing intro, as always.

Yes. Well, the first question I'd love to ask you is, what makes you your highest self?

What makes me my highest self? I should have thought about this question.

You didn't see that one coming.

None of us did. I would say from the top of my head, what makes me my highest self is whatever excites me at that time, whatever is fun, whatever feels like the most me at that moment. And tapping into that would be me being my most highest self.

Well, excitement is one of the parts of the Dharma Blueprint. Absolutely.

Yeah.

So for those of you who haven't read Discover your Dharma, the Dharma Blueprint is the five part method that we use at DCI to coach people. So it's what you're excited about, your mediums that come through you, whether it's speaking, writing, analyzing, whatever that is, having conversations, coaching your superpowers, things that come easily for you, that might not come easily for other people, the obstacles that you've overcome or helped someone else overcome, and then your Dharma archetype, which is a quiz I've created that you can learn about@dharmarchetypequiz.com. so putting these five things together creates your Dharma Blueprint. And that gives you a plan of action, because it's like your purpose is this Big, lofty thing. And you're just like, what do I do with it? It's like, my purpose is to raise the vibration of the planet. It's like, okay, how do we direct that energy now? And when you do the Dharma Blueprint, it gives you this tangible thing of, okay, I can bring these elements of myself together into helping woman. Helping young moms, specifically, who are overwhelmed with young children, carve out me time to step into their purpose. Like, something as specific as that. That's what the Dharma Blueprint gives. So I love that excitement because it's like excitement is the ignition under the fire, that if you're not excited about something, you're not going to have the energy to withstand and do it day in and day out. And that's what it takes to live your. Your Dharma. You're gonna. You're gonna just give up on that thing if you're not hella excited about it. So it is the ultimate pathway to the highest self.

Exactly. Exactly. And excitement is one of those things that I, up until maybe five years ago, did not prioritize. I was like. Like you said earlier with Asian families and just that immigrant family background. Yeah. Do the thing that you're excited about after you go to law school, after you go to med school, get your 401k, make sure all of your debts are paid off, and then, you know, go dance. Go do whatever it is that you actually wanted to do in the first.

You know, I was thinking today, so I just got these two new tattoos, and, like, when was a teenager, I was very, like, I was just studying all the time. You know, I was just like, I just need to get into college, and it's like, all I cared about. So I never had an inner teenager years. And so I would say, like, now I'm like, oh, tattoos. Ooh. Like, you know, I'm in my Having fun, and I'm 32. So I texted my mom these tattoos.

And she's like, oh, these are.

What are people gonna think? And these are so bad. And she's like, you're not a teenager anymore. And I'm like, isn't it interesting how immigrant parents, when you're a teenager, if I got these tattoos, they'd say, you're not an adult. You can't get these tattoos. Or you're not an adult. You can't do the thing you're excited about. And then you do that. You get the tattoo, you do the thing you're excited about as adult, you're not a teenager anymore. To get these it's like they're going to tell. They're always going to tell you the opposite. So it's like you just have to do it now because it's coming from their conditioning. And I see so many of us, we spend so much time trying to get our parents to understand our perspective instead of just focusing that energy towards our dharma. Like you would have created, written that book, created that coaching practice, done that thing with all the energy you spent trying to convince your parents that. That it's possible.

Yes. Yeah, totally. And it's interesting you bring this up, because I actually live with my parents right now. We did a lot of investing, wedding stuff, just real estate investment stuff. And we're just like, you know, let's just reset for this next year and live. And live with my parents. So we're doing that right now. And I've just noticed how much I have grown and changed in this whole perspective because I've gotten maybe five new tattoos since living under their home. My entire forearm, just everything. And they're the type of people like your mom probably as well. My dad saw my tattoos, and he was like, oh, my gosh, stop hurting yourself. Like, you're ruining your body. And 10 years ago or five years ago, even, I would have tried my hardest to tell them, hey, you don't understand. The indigenous people from the Philippines all had so many tattoos. This is so natural to us, actually. It's returning to who we are. And now I'm just like, yeah, that's okay. I like it. Like, if you don't like it, that's fine. I still make money. Like, I'm successful. I'm helping people. I have great intentions, and I just have no need to prove to anyone, and they still love me no matter what.

You know, it's like our parents are doing what they believe will keep us safe. And keeping us safe is often what will keep us small, because that's especially immigrant parents. It's like, you needed to assimilate into this culture and fit in and paint inside the lines and not stand out. Otherwise, you're going to be called out. You're going to be made fun of. You're going to be the one who, you know, no one invites into the culture and the community. So it's like doing something like getting tattoos or becoming an entrepreneur or posting on social media. These are things like, wait, you want to stand out? Like, no, no, no. We've done everything to fit in. So I think there's a lot of that, especially with immigrant families of, like, this Fear of standing out and what will happen to me.

Exactly. But I feel like now with this new shift, with this new paradigm we're going into, standing out is actually the new standard. Being unique, being true to yourself, doing the things that you love to do, that you're excited about, that's different. That's what's going to set the tone these days.

Absolutely. Because they grew up in a time where the highest form of success was to get a corporate job and climb the corporate ladder. So you needed to assimilate really well with that team culture to get to the next the corner office one day. You know, Whereas for us, a lot of us, you know, people listening to this podcast, we want to do something unique, something that's never been done before. But to do something that's never been done before, you got to take risks. You got to do the thing that's never been done before. People aren't going to like you. It's going to bring up everyone's shit, especially those closest to you who are like, wait a no, no, I know you better than you know yourself. You're this kind of person. And it's like, oh, no. That's who they want you to be. To preserve their own personal identity. And I see a lot of times we feel that guilt or that sense of respons. I know I used to feel like my parents sacrificed so much for me, so maybe like, the one thing I'll give them is like my purpose. Like, I'll just do that one thing for them. As if it's like this, like one tiny thing, small, flimsy thing, you know, because it was rocking the boat so much that I was just like, I don't even know how I would get through the other side of this. But it was like. But that was my life path that I needed to go through of. You know, if I want to impact the world, I have to be okay with my family not liking me if I'm going to be okay with people in the world not liking me. So it's like often our souls chose, I believe, the microcosm of the macrocosm that we're here to solve that we often chose parents who are limited in their worldview. If we want to have an expansive worldview, we want to choose families that are traditionalists. If we want to be trailblazers, we need to choose families that have addiction. If we want to know what it's like to be liberated, it's like we can only learn through contrast that we often choose to incarnate into the family. That's the exact opposite of who we're here to be. So we can see that front row seats of like, oh, this is what narcissism looks like here. This is what codependency looks like here. Oh, this is what lies in the family. Secrets in the family, blah, blah, blah. Oh, I see it now. I see the intergenerational trauma that creates and it ends with me.

Exactly, exactly.

So I'm curious now, on your journey of then, you know, step, you started just to give a little background of yourself. Maybe you can share how you kind of came into coaching.

Yes. Beautiful. So I think this is pretty typical of a lot of people that, you know, who are now coaches and love coaching. But I feel like I've been coaching my entire life.

Unpaid coaches. You're an unpaid coach, raise your hand. You know, you better get paid for that shit.

That's me.

That's me.

So I am the youngest of four. So I have three older siblings. They're all about 10 years older than me. And of course that meant that I had three extra parents and also three fun siblings. But what happened, what happened to me, which is the fun part of this all, is as they got older and they became teenagers and then went into their 20s, I was just always around. So essentially I was dumb John, but I had learned how to hold space and listen and just share what I see. So I've been coaching for a very long time. So we'll fast forward from that point into college. I initially wanted to go into the medical field. I wanted to become a doctor because I was making potions in my backyard when I was a kid. I was trying to heal my puppies. I was trying to find any birds that had flown into a window and take them out and like, give them water and shade and rest. So I knew that I wanted to heal. And with a limited scope that I had, I knew to heal and to achieve and to make my parents proud, I think I should be a doctor. I think that's just the way to do it. So I just chose that and kind of went on autopilot with that narrative. And of course, high school, college, they don't really encourage you to look beyond what you've chosen. They ask you what you want to be when you're five and kind of hold you to it. So all throughout high school and college, I had prepped myself, okay, I'm going to go to medical school. I'm going to do the whole science thing. I don't know what major I want yet, but I know I just want to go into medicine. And I'd done the whole thing. I got into college, I went to Boston. So I was there for about two years. But my first year that I was there, I stumbled upon a plant based diet. And just a little background for anybody who's unfamiliar with Filipino culture, Filipino diet, My family and the people who are within the Filipino culture, we typically eat a diet that's very high in meat, high in refined carbs and white rice and stuff. And so I always thought things like heart disease, high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes were just things that you get when you're old. Because I saw all my family members get it and I was just like, okay, like, I would like to help people with this, but when I learn about a plant based diet, but more importantly, just a healthier diet overall, a healthier pattern of eating, and the fact that it could either reverse or prevent some diseases that I thought we would just get when we're older, I was like, I really need to learn this. I'm very interested in this. So there's my first little ding of excitement. I'm excited about the way that we can use nutrition as free medicine to help people improve their health. And I went from there into nutrition. I decided to major in nutrition instead of just your basic biology or chemistry or biochemistry. At the same time, I had a little bit of FOMO from my family back home. So I'm born and raised in Southern California. I'm the youngest. So everybody was getting married, they were having kids. I came back because I wanted to be closer, but also because Loma Linda University, which is kind of in the desert in Southern California, is one of the five blue zones in the world. And I was very much into blue zones at that time. Just the whole longevity shtick. And it was a vegetarian campus. I was like, okay, this kind of aligns. Cool. Went through that. And I ended up becoming a dietitian. I was able to sit and take the test because I had some internship hours completed and I worked clinically. So I, up until this point, all like my life kind of felt like it was on autopilot because it still fit the role or it fit the path of me going into medical school. And once I had finished my college years and I was about to go into my clinical work just to get experience so that I could then apply to medical school. Just sprucing up my application. I wanted to pause to do yoga teacher training, and I had never done one and I'd never really traveled Alone. And I just did this random thing. And it's one of those, like, I just felt it in my body to do it. There was no explanation. There was no, hey, mom, dad, friends, should I do this? I was just like, you know, I'm going to do yoga teacher training in Rishikesh, which is the yoga capital of the world in India. So I went and did that, fell in love, obviously. And when I was there, there was this one hour class on this thing called Ayurveda. And I was just so excited about it. I was like, wow, this science makes sense. I'm about to go into medical school, but I would really, really love to study this. That's what I said in my head. And I put it in my pocket for later because it was one of those things where I'm excited about it, but maybe I should just learn it after I do the whole medical school residency fellowship, get a job thing and then I can learn Ayurveda. And so all of these changes were going on in my brain and I just, just thought that if I'm going to just study Ayurveda, I might as well go do the whole nine yards. So I've been thinking about doing an Ayurveda, an energy healing course. So I got certified in Reiki. And I was thinking, what else can I add to this? Because at this point, I made the decision to not go to medical school anymore. What else could I do? Coaching sounds like a lot of fun. I'd love to add this in, but.

You know, I don't know about any.

Of the other life coaching schools. I've seen a bunch of them. They seem kind of love to them, but in my opinion, at that time, it felt dry, it felt masculine, it felt like not as in depth and honestly feminine and as spiritual as I wanted. And it's as soon as I said that, like, I want something more spiritually involved, I want something that has more feminine energy into it. I want something that vibes a little bit more with me. One of my friends who was in the cohort, one of the Dharma Coaching Institute, was chatting with me and she told me that she finished dci. And I was like, oh, interesting. What is that about? And then we hopped on a call because she was like, I'm happy to share more information about it. She looked at my human design chart and I was like, what is human design? And when she read it to me, I'm a 5:1 generator with seven open centers. Yep. And she read it to me and I was like, oh, wow, this makes a lot of sense. I'm definitely made for this. And it was again one of these decisions that I made with my body and not my mind. I don't even know where my brain was at time the this point. But I signed up for DCI and I went through the whole process and I realized just how important purpose is to everything that I wanted to bring to the world. Anyway, my goal in life has always to been just to help people heal themselves. I've always known that there's nothing I can do for you, but just to be myself and hopefully that'll inspire you to do something better for you. Because I can't do it for you, only you can. And learning about that and learning about how I can share that with other people made me feel like I could just live my purpose in any way. I don't have to be a doctor. I don't even need to be a clinician. At that time I was thinking about going into Ayurveda, being a clinician within Ayurveda. But at this point, two years later, I don't even think that's something that I'm interested in. But because I've done this work on myself and I've found my purpose and I have so much fun coaching, you know, it doesn't really matter that what I wanted to do two years ago is not happening now because it's all part of my purpose. It was how it was supposed to happen.

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. So have you ever stayed up at night? Because your thoughts are continually racing. Like you feel like there's this thing in your life that's problem that if you just worry about enough, you'll come up with a solution. But the thing is, the more that you worry about it, the more stressed out you become and the bigger the problem becomes and the less you can sleep. Well, if you've ever been in the cycle before, which I think we all have, but sometimes it gets worse when there's a stressful situation in your life. And that's where therapy can really help. So it can help you set boundaries, it can help you bust through limiting belief systems, go through inner child trauma, anything that is holding you back from being your most radiant self and your mind being this really beautiful open corridor of limitless ideas. So I love Better Help because it's online, it's convenient, affordable, suited to your schedule. They link you up with a licensed therapist that's perfect for your needs so you can get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com Sahara that's betterhelp H-E-L-P.com Sahara and you deserve the inner peace. Well, I love that this journey guided you into your ultimate truth. Because the same thing with me. I was ayurvedic coaching, talking about food and health, and I'm like. Like, even this is still just the surface level. Because for me, I could look back on how did I regain my period, how did I heal my digestive issues. Yes, I ate more warming, grounding foods, but it was me aligning with my dharma that was the misfeeling. I was out of touch with my feminine. So my body was just reflecting that back to me. And I believe. And Ayurveda is a spiritual science, but a lot of what we know about is, like, very focused on the health and the lifestyle and things like that. But. But the spirit. That's why yoga is the sister science of it. Because when you are connected to something so much greater than you, when you have a reason for being a reason for waking up, a lot of these health issues naturally resolve. And not just health issues, relationship issues, friendship issues, like, any. Any kind of issue. And I also just want to speak about how, like, having a purpose can be your guiding light in. In dark nights of the soul. Like, I know for me, when I was going through my divorce this past. Past you, this past year, and especially last year, it was the thing that there was so much that felt out of control in my life. But having my dharma, this thing that it was like, I get to choose how much I put into it, into this. Like, this is something that can never be taken away from me. This is something that, like, is mine fully. And I believe so many of us, we lose ourselves in relationships, we lose ourselves in circumstances of life because we're not connected to this. This greater sense of self that only living your dharma can provide. And when you are living your dharma, it's like everything else lines up and also falls away. Like, the things that don't line up will fall away. Because to manifest, we also have to release. It's a simultaneous process that it's like, let go of the old beliefs. Let go of the old ways of being. Let go of the old relationships, the homes, the friendships, the whatever it is to make space for that new. And. And having this thing that's like, you can keep tuning into of, like, what does my dharma look like? What does my expression look like? And it will teach you. Okay, here's the next step. And here's the next Step. And it's like having a flashlight. You only see the next five steps ahead. That's all you need.

Exactly. Even if you saw all the steps ahead of you, you probably won't even take them.

No, it'd be overwhelming. Yeah, we think we want to know, but we couldn't handle that. And also, it's changing with time. It's changing on what steps you take right now.

Always that.

Like, if you were to have seen the full 100 steps from the timeline you were on when you were studying pre med, it would have been a very different highway. You would have noticed. But then you shifted timelines by making different decisions, and then you would have seen your timeline as, you know, a registered dietitian and an ayurvedic practitioner and now a dharma coach, and it's continuing. And even what I love about DCI and witnessing our dharma coaches is like. Like, everyone makes it their own, you know? So I'm curious for you. What does your practice look like right now?

Do you mean within coaching?

Within coaching, yeah.

Okay. So my practice within coaching is essentially helping women basically do what I did years ago, which is let go of any limiting beliefs, any stories like what you said. We kind of have to let go of the old to make space for the new and rewrite or just continue to write a story that feels more aligned for them. So I love to work with women who are kind of in between things, or they're in this path, but they realize maybe this isn't it for me, but I don't know, there's nobody else around me, probably except for me, if they follow me on Instagram or any other social media, who does this. And I don't know what's going on, but I know that something has to change. So I work with these women and take them step by step through a fusion of what I learned at dci, also my own life, and. And a lot of other tools that I picked up along the way to help them. You know, we think they think, and I think as well, we'll get to your purpose. But essentially, I just help them find themselves again. You know, that's really all it is.

I love that you are coaching people who are a former version of you, because that is who we know best. We know what were the things that were keeping us up at night. We know the things we were anxious about. We know, like, the thoughts we had of all the reasons why it's not going to work and all our evidence around that. Like, only we know our bullshit. You and so when we can coach people that it's like, oh, I've been in your shoes. And I know that this belief leads to that one, leads to that one, because I've had all of them, and here's how I went through them. It's like you see them to such a greater level that, like, reading a book about them or having your PhD on the topic of it could never give you the exact gnosis that having gone through the experience, only can.

Yes, absolutely. I find it's the most natural and also just the most comforting, too. I. I essentially am who I wish I had three, four years ago. I didn't have that. I had to gather all of my resources and all my people and kind of piece together my support system. And so I've basically put all that together, and I'm offering that to anybody who really wants to work with me. And this is what I found is a lot of new health coaches, a lot of new spiritual life coaches, just a lot of coaches, a lot of people who want to be guides or healers in this world. But maybe they come from a background like mine, or maybe they come from a background of not really knowing that there are many other choices or feeling like they were going to be a financial advisor for their entire lives, and then they realized that all they really wanted to do was paint their nails, you know?

Exactly. And. And that's the beauty of it too, is like, you. You learn. You learn through that experience, and then you're able to pass the torch. And then life gives you new lessons, you know, and then there's new things that you learn, and then eventually you crystallize those things into your own being and you pass that torch to other people. And it makes the obstacles that we've gone through in life like, not feel like they've just happened in vain, but really they've happened for this greater. This greater reason. And, you know, a lot of us people who are listening to this podcast right now, they're already helping their friends. Like, yeah, they're voice doning their friends, they're hanging out with people. But it feels really draining when you're that friend who's just helping people. But there's not an equal energy exchange. You know, when it's like, you're not gonna keep hanging out with someone that every time you hang out with them, they just, like, spill out all their problems and then you're trying to help them, and then you walk away just feeling, like, heavier. But what that means is that person obviously felt the safety to share with you because not everyone opens up. Like I used to think, oh, everyone must tell everyone all their life problems. But it was just to me and to you and to people who can hold that, you know, I don't tell everyone my life problems. Certain people though, I just feel that with, you know, I mean, I don't do that anymore. But you know, we've all been that person too. But that means you have a gift. People are feeling that safety in your auric field now. It's how can I make this an equal energy exchange? So it feels like it has longevity for me and I'm not feeling burnt out and I'm not feeling like energetically exhausted from it, but rather, you know, you could do it bartering. But really it's to create an income making it. And I think that's like one of the biggest shadows in the spiritual community of like, oh, if I'm helping people, I shouldn't charge for it because I should be doing this out of the goodness of my heart. And it's like, okay, back in the day when we had monks and nuns, the village took care of them in Thailand. I was living in Thailand doing volunteer work every day. We brought food to the monks. They didn't have to. They could just meditate all day. No one's bringing me banana leaves, anything. I have to create income because that's how I pay my rent. That's how I live my life. And for some reason we've had it stuck in our heads that like, oh, a good spiritual person shouldn't charge. So I'm curious for you. Did you ever have any imposter syndrome around? Like, who am I to charge for coaching people when I already do this for free and I like doing it and I'm helping people and people don't have the money and I'm not a therapist?

And all of those stories, oh my gosh, yes. Every single one of those stories for sure. Especially I grew up going to the 99 cent store for groceries and any like odd ends. I with my mom. We went to TJ Maxx and Ross and I could only get things that were like on clear.

I mean, love TJ Maxx, not like love TJ Maxx, love a Marshalls, love a home goods.

But as an adult, apprec much as a kid.

Yeah, Payless was not it as a kid. Now it's just the best thing ever.

When I need to furnish a new house.

Yes.

So working through my own money beliefs was such a big thing for me when I first started out being My own entrepreneur, you know, charging prices for something that, like you said, is essentially free if I just meet up with somebody for coffee. But I think what really helped me was hiring my own coach, because that really helped me see the value in coaching in and of itself. And once I did that, it was a couple thousand dollars, which was, to me, a lot at that time. But now I look back and I think, wow, that was absolutely priceless.

Changed the trajectory of your entire life.

It changed my entire life. And she only asked me for $2,000. That's it. So.

And you're literally, like, living your dharma now? Yes. Yeah.

She really. She's one of my closest friends now. I invited her to my wedding. It was just. It's so beautiful how these relationships can come about. But having that first step to show me, okay, if I invest in myself, I can get five times more, and I can make more money with that energy that feels more aligned. And so having that in my pocket and in my own experience, going into pricing myself and starting my coaching business, of course, having a business coach helps. But when I think about that, you know, putting my own money in a coach to help me, I'm also able to think about, you know, what a past version of myself would do. So my ideal client, maybe they're scared to pay that money, but once they work with me, they'll know that it was so worth it. And so what that grants them is, okay, this is a professional relationship. Great. I can't just walk all over her. Good. Another thing that it grants them is, okay, hey, I've just practiced valuing myself. So now I know I'm at least this much more valuable. I have done the thing. I've done something that's scary. I invested in myself, and I'm going to get so much out of that. And what hopefully that will teach them is in the future, if they want to go into their own coaching program to learn how to be a coach or a counselor and then maybe go into a mastermind, they'll pay a little bit more, and they'll be more comfortable every single time. So not only do I feel like. Like it is like I'm more comfortable because I'm bringing people a lot of value, but also because just by stepping into container with me, by investing in themselves, they already gain that sense of self worth without even going into a coaching session with me. They've paid, and they give themselves that key of, like, okay, I guess I'm worth it if I just did this.

Well, because we value things, we invest in exactly. You know, it's like if I've never invested in something, you just give me some advice, I'll be like, oh, thanks for that, Amanda. Like moving on. Like, maybe I would have taken it seriously, but likely not really because I didn't buy into it, you know, but if I actually invested in you as a coach one, that means I believe you, I trust you, that, that you see yourself as worthy as that as well. So there's just like a lot in that process and I'm going to take what you say and actually implement it into my life, which is what makes such a difference. Like a friend of mine, she just spent 15k on her love coach, which sounds like, oh my God, who would pay $15,000? Well, guess what, she's with the love of her life. So that's a small price to pay for that.

Yeah.

You know? Yeah, I think about how much money we spend on bullshit if we calcul money you probably each of us spends on Amazon every year.

Oh my gosh.

Yeah, probably like more than that. You know, all the jeans trips, this, that it adds up. And it's like we. What could be more important than living your purpose? And I want to speak about like, I think a lot of people, they don't go into coaching because they're afraid of the charging, the pricing, how to hold the container. And that's why the last two months of DCI are all about that are all about, okay, how do you actually do a three month coaching practice, a six month coaching package, a one month coaching package? What can you do do each session? How can you price, how can you choose your niche, what forms you need, what agreements do you need? I feel like my audience, I attract a lot of people in their feminine because obviously feminine. But. But what we often struggle with is that masculine, it's that container. And without the container, the feminine can't flourish. Like, you can't share your intuitive hits and downloads and your spiritual gifts and your creativity when you're not getting paid for it. Because if you're not getting paid for it, guess what? It's just going to be this hobby that you do sometimes when you have the time for. And eventually you're going to focus on doing the thing that pays your bills, which is the job and the bartending and the whatever else you might be doing. And then that hobby never ends up coming to fruition. And that's like the thing I see. People are like, I don't want to do the business stuff. Like, I'm so intimidated by Business and it's like, so was I. But by going into it and learning about it, I've been able to create that structure and that container that now I can be wild and creative and travel and doing those things because I know I have systems in place, I have structure in place. I have a set income coming in that like, I'm not just like floating around, but rather I'm, I am my own masculine and my own feminine. And that's really the integration that I feel. When you really step into living your dharma, you are it all. You're not just one side.

Yes, exactly. And those last two months of DCI were so helpful for me because I was definitely like, I don't know anything about business and I don't even know if I want to know about business. I just want to sit here and look cute and talk to people and help them and change their lives, right?

And then who can walk in through the door if you don't know how to do a discovery call, you don't know how to talk to them about your program and not feel like weird about talking about the money. You don't know what forms and agreements like, you just will never be able to share the juicy wisdom that you have if you don't learn. People need the safety. You know, like there's so much shit online that people can't trust that people are like, oh, I made an Instagram post about my services and no one bought. So I guess coaching isn't for me. It's like people don't trust like you have to really show up and build, build authority by like having your niche and really speaking to them. These are all things that we talk a lot about at dci because I, like you, started my business when I was 19 through blogging and through social media and, and it's so I've been doing this for 13 years now and it takes a lot of, of time. And now learning what I've learned, now I'm like, oh, I could help anyone make a seven figure business online because I now know exactly what are the things to do. But it showing up and taking action and making those decisions and not like waiting for someone else to do it because our, that same condition that our parents have a lot of us still have of like waiting to be chosen, you know, waiting to be recognized and someone else is going to like choose us for the TV show and be our manager and do our business for us and we're just gonna like sit back and shine our light and it's like it's just not the way that it works. Like, even me being here on this podcast, like, I had to do this podcast for a very long time, learn how to get sponsors and build it up to this place. There's a whole podcast studio. No one gave me this. I. I earned it, I created it.

And.

And that's what we share. That's what I love about dci. It's like, I bring my, like, Capricorn energy, too. And. And Ajit and Neetha, my co founders as well, of, like, we want you to succeed. Like, I'm. I love how that you're here on this podcast. It's like, we want our people to succeed. And I feel the only way to succeed is to take off the lid and be like, this is actually what it takes to build a thriving coaching practice. Are you in? And I feel when a lot of people can see the roadmap, then they take action. It's like the confusion makes us get overwhelmed and not take any action at all.

Yeah. Yeah, totally. Just seeing things really clearly, knowing what we're getting into, and also just having that reassurance along the way of, like, you don't have to know all this yet. Just. Just focus on this one thing and try it out. Do one thing that's a little scary just to prove yourself you can do it and then take the next step. Step. And you'll be able to learn all of these things later on, which you will, and we'll guide you through that. But just stay here really quick with us right now and just try this out. Like, that was really, really helpful for me personally, just to traverse all that confusion, all the overwhelm, all the fear. My dad is a businessman, and I watched him, and I just didn't want to do that at all growing up. He's a pharmaceutical rep, and I was like, I don't want to tell people to buy things, like, if they don't really want it.

Right. We have. We're like, I don't want to come off as salesy, like, because we've seen the shadow side of sales that we equate it with, like, a used car. Sal man of, like, pushing something that someone does not want. And it's like, no. Sales is actually the process of someone walking in through the door of working with you. And if you believe in what you're doing, then you are actually doing a service to them. But we've had people sell us things that we don't need. The used lemon car. So it's like, so we equate all sales with that. But it's like, you bought me these beautiful flowers. You bought them. There was a service involved, the farmer got paid for it, the person who put these flowers here, and now I get to have them. And this was all through the energy of sales. Sales, you know, so it's like, so I love. We have a whole energetic of sales, energetic of making offers, all of these things in, in dci and to me, these are the biggest things that have allowed me to actually live a spiritual life that I'm, I'm doing spirituality full time. Like my job is to be spiritual, which is so freaking cool. It is from learning business, starting with one on one coaching. Like, I believe everyone. If you want to write a book, if you want to do a podcast, if you want to speak on stages, if you want to to do anything related to sharing wisdom with the world, you need to start with one on one coaching.

Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Do you know who Tony Jones is? She's a. She makes affirmation music I think you'd really like.

Oh yeah, I love her music.

Yeah. So I found her music a couple years ago and I was like, wow, this is awesome. She knows a lot of really great things. I learned just last month that she was a life coach for years before she started making affirmation music.

Makes sense. How else did she know that? Yeah.

Yeah, for sure.

Because it's in one on one coaching that you're actually having dialogues with people and you're learning what's happening on the ground. Like how would I go and speak on a stage to a thousand people if I can't talk to one person, If I can't hold space for one, how can I hold space for many? I would not be where I was if I didn't start with one on one coaching. And I still sometimes like in my mastermind continues have do one on one because it keeps me like on the ground of like, what are people currently stressed about thinking about? What is the landscape landscape like? So I believe if you're anyone that wants to do anything visionary, thought leadership, speaking on stages, getting your message to the masses, start with one on one coaching. Learn how to create transformation in one person's life. And then from there you'll notice what are the things I keep repeating, what are the stories I keep telling, what are the realizations people keep having. Then those things you then crystallize and then you share them with groups, you share them with online courses, you could share them in memberships, you can share them on stages, in Books and it keeps getting bigger and bigger. So. So that's what I love about dci. We're like, become a really significant coach and the rest will happen in divine time.

Absolutely. Yeah. And I started with one on one, and now I'm more so in a one on one and group hybrid coaching. Just because I still love that one on one touch. But I want to be able to help more people. And I've gotten enough information with my one on one coaching where I know, okay, maybe we need to talk about imposter syndrome a little bit more. So I'll make a little, a little training on that. Or maybe we need to talk a little bit more about future visioning, so let's make a training on that too. But another thing that one on one coaching has helped me, that I didn't realize until we actually had this conversation is really see what things I need to work on. You know, when I am one on one with somebody, not only do I get to learn about them being on the ground with them, but I get to learn about myself. How am I in conversation? How did I like the way that I spoke in this way? How did I like the way that I came into this call with this energy? What can I change? It really taught me so much about myself too. So, you know, while I was, you know, working with my own one on one clients and they learn a lot from me, I equally feel like they all taught me so much about myself, so much about my work and my business and who I want to help.

And how my book, discover your dharma. I write so about so many of my clients in there. You know, those are the stories that I tell. Those are the realizations that I learned about that led to my methodology. So I love one on one coaching because it helps you. You just see one concept through so many different people's eyes that you're like, wow, this is how one person sees, sees their Dharma and another person, another person. Like, we just think everyone sees the world like ourselves. And when you're coaching people, you're like, oh my God, I would have never had that. Like, you hear some people's fears on things and you're like, I would have never had that. Like, and it's like so obvious to you. But then we have fears on things that are like, other people are like, oh, they just ask you one question, the fear is gone. You know, so it's like so interesting because you get to go into people's subconscious and are like, whoa, like, we all see the world so differently and so the same. And it's like fun to see the parallel between the two. I love coaching so much.

I love coaching. It's crazy, but I love it. And so grateful for the opportunity to learn about coaching through the lens of dci.

Yes. I mean, thank you for being such an amazing. You're like a star student of ours. We love having you and. Yeah, absolutely. And the fact that you were able to take this, I love that you're, you know, bringing your message out there to more people and showing people that it's possible, you know, you did DCI in what year?

I started in 2021 and then so I graduated over a year ago already. I can't believe the time has gone by so fast. I don't know when it was, but I missed my one year coaching anniversary. Officially coaching.

I love that. This is just such a testament to people that you have been coaching for just over a year and you're already doing group coaching.

Yeah.

Which just shows that it's so possible and people think it's going to take them years. And it's like you're already doing groups. I'm pretty sure soon. I think. You already have a course, right? You already have a course.

It's a course within the group. I just mixed it all together.

Exactly. I already know you're going to start write a book one day. 100%. I already know you're going to start a podcast. I already know you're going to speak on stages. Like, it's all like you have that coming for you and I'm just excited to support. So thank you so much for being here. Thank you for showing people what's possible from Dharma Coaching Institute. And we're so grateful to have you.

Thank you so much for having me, Sahara.

So if you want to get started on your Dharma journey of becoming a sole purpose and spiritual life coach, then doors are open right now for Dharma Coaching Institute. So this is our six month training where you will learn everything from the coaching fundamentals. So what it actually takes to build a coaching practice, how to have boundaries, how to talk to clients, how to hold space. And then two months of the Dharma framework. So the Dharma blueprint, how to apply this wisdom into people's lives, the Dharma Dharma chakra system, all these different tools to really help people understand their purpose. And then the last two months are all about business. How to price, how to set up coaching containers, what agreements you need, finding your niche, podcasting, social media. We really bring our gifts together. Myself in coaching and social media and marketing, my business partner in business. He is an incredible business owner who's literally created like hundreds of businesses around the world. And then Neeta, who's an expert in emotional psychology. And we bring all of our gifts together into this curriculum. So we have had over 2,000 students go through it now, and it has been incredible to witness the transformation. So if you're curious, you want to learn more, head over to the shownotes or dharmacoachinginstitute.com that's D H A R M A coaching institute dot com and you will find more information. There's some freebies. And again, doors are open right now. Class starts very soon. You can find all of that information on the website. Website, thank you so much for tuning in and I'll see you in the next one.